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1
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[music]
2
00:00:02,459 --> 00:00:05,293
[Pam] Okay, keep coming...
3
00:00:05,329 --> 00:00:06,695
[annoyed sigh]
4
00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:10,065
- Looking good, keep coming...
- Can I just take it off?
5
00:00:10,066 --> 00:00:14,568
- No, shut up, keep coming...
- Really not liking this.
6
00:00:14,604 --> 00:00:17,004
Well, but once you see
the surprise, keep coming,
7
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,306
you're gonna forget all
about being mad about the map.
8
00:00:19,342 --> 00:00:22,400
That's what I'm saying, if the
goal here is to unpiss me off...
9
00:00:22,435 --> 00:00:24,746
- [metallic clang] Oww! What the...?
- Sorry, go left?
10
00:00:24,747 --> 00:00:29,149
- Goddamn it!
- Wait, hang on, wait, wait, wait!
11
00:00:29,184 --> 00:00:32,120
- Wh...?! What the...?
- [Pam] Ta-da!
12
00:00:32,121 --> 00:00:35,423
- [Archer] What the actual goddamn shit?!
- [Crackers] Yeah, right?
13
00:00:35,424 --> 00:00:37,925
At first, I was like, "pfft,"
but then I was like "myeah?"
14
00:00:37,926 --> 00:00:39,460
What'd you...
What have you done?!
15
00:00:39,461 --> 00:00:41,895
Well, I used the all the ribs,
they were in pretty good shape,
16
00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:43,864
the spans are the toughest
bamboo I could find...
17
00:00:43,899 --> 00:00:45,199
- I helped.
- Shut up.
18
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,368
Then I covered 'em with
canvas sails, and doped
19
00:00:47,369 --> 00:00:49,536
the whole thing up tighter
than dick's hatband!
20
00:00:49,537 --> 00:00:52,705
- Hey, whoa!
- Dick's hatband?! Dick's hatband?!
21
00:00:52,741 --> 00:00:54,485
- Yeah, I dunno.
- People say that.
22
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,411
- Right?
- You big dumb ox! You ruined her!
23
00:00:57,412 --> 00:01:00,680
[tearing up] B-But...
I thought you'd be happy!
24
00:01:00,715 --> 00:01:04,881
Happy?! You thought I'd
be happy? I oughta...
25
00:01:04,955 --> 00:01:09,496
What the...?
[plane approaching]
26
00:01:09,497 --> 00:01:13,039
[music]
27
00:01:14,929 --> 00:01:17,897
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, where are you?
28
00:01:21,102 --> 00:01:23,368
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
29
00:01:26,373 --> 00:01:30,609
C'mon, baby, c'mon, you can do it.
Don't let him in the slot!
30
00:01:35,316 --> 00:01:39,145
[chuckling]
[speaking German
31
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,720
[artillery firing]
32
00:01:41,755 --> 00:01:44,456
[grunting]
C'mon, ya fat Russian pig!
33
00:01:54,334 --> 00:01:56,034
Goddamn it!
34
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:03,273
[Archer] Son of a... No! No!
35
00:02:03,309 --> 00:02:05,009
No, no, no, no, no, no!
36
00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:08,522
[chuckling]
37
00:02:09,234 --> 00:02:12,200
[coughing]
38
00:02:12,235 --> 00:02:15,252
Goddamn it.
Goddamn it!
39
00:02:15,287 --> 00:02:20,199
Eat a dick!
40
00:02:22,027 --> 00:02:25,696
- [Archer] Wha... what... what is it...
- [Pam] Archer?
41
00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:27,932
- [snaps fingers] Hey. Hey!
- Huh?
42
00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:29,699
Where'd ya go, buddy?
43
00:02:30,702 --> 00:02:33,605
Spain...
[body thud]
44
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,807
[Crackers] Heh. Oh, man.
Is Spain not the best?
45
00:02:37,843 --> 00:02:40,297
C'mon, tapas?
46
00:02:40,825 --> 00:02:46,029
[title theme]
47
00:03:14,309 --> 00:03:17,891
sync & correction by f1nc0
- Addic7ed.com ~
48
00:03:18,963 --> 00:03:21,931
[Pam] Archer?
Archer, hey, c'mon...
49
00:03:21,932 --> 00:03:27,636
C'mon. C'mon, snap out of it, bub,
'cause, uh, we got company.
50
00:03:27,671 --> 00:03:29,804
Huh? What-what...?
Wait, where am I?
51
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,474
Right here with me and Crackers.
52
00:03:31,475 --> 00:03:32,808
- Ugh.
- [hurt] Hey...
53
00:03:32,809 --> 00:03:35,645
- Question is, where were you?
- Pam, it was the damnedest thing.
54
00:03:35,646 --> 00:03:37,478
All of a sudden I was back in Spain,
55
00:03:37,514 --> 00:03:39,547
getting shot down by that
son of a bitch Ziegler.
56
00:03:39,582 --> 00:03:41,783
Yeah, so...
[Ziegler chuckles]
57
00:03:41,818 --> 00:03:43,752
- Which time?
- [Archer gasps] What the hell?!
58
00:03:43,787 --> 00:03:46,454
- Yeah, so, funny story...
- Ziegler?!
59
00:03:46,489 --> 00:03:49,391
Hallo, Archer. Heh.
You are flying a garbage truck now?
60
00:03:49,392 --> 00:03:51,726
No, I...
Wait, how are you here?!
61
00:03:51,762 --> 00:03:55,564
- It is an incredible coincidence, ja?
- Literally incredible.
62
00:03:55,565 --> 00:03:57,431
So, does this place have a bar?
63
00:03:57,467 --> 00:03:59,833
I owe you a drink, you
have made me famous.
64
00:03:59,869 --> 00:04:02,916
[speaking German]
65
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:03,905
[raucous laughter]
66
00:04:03,906 --> 00:04:07,778
- Das is die umgekerht Ace?!
- Ja! Es war er!
67
00:04:07,813 --> 00:04:09,210
[speaking German]
68
00:04:09,245 --> 00:04:10,812
This means the "reverse ace."
69
00:04:10,813 --> 00:04:14,114
Because in Spain I shot
him down five times.
70
00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:16,449
- We know.
- Plus not to mention his eye...
71
00:04:16,485 --> 00:04:18,852
Then why did you...?
[verbal shrug]
72
00:04:18,888 --> 00:04:20,588
- And why the hell are you here?!
- Well, I...
73
00:04:20,589 --> 00:04:22,756
[Fuchs] I don't see
how that concerns you.
74
00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:26,236
- Hauptmann Ziegler?
- Ah, sie sind bestimmt Herr Fuchs.
75
00:04:26,271 --> 00:04:29,809
[speaking German]
76
00:04:29,844 --> 00:04:33,166
Oh. So, hey, Archer, please
let me buy you that drink, eh?
77
00:04:33,202 --> 00:04:36,969
- Come find me later.
- Oh, don't worry, I'll find you.
78
00:04:37,005 --> 00:04:41,196
[chuckles]
Well, that would be a first.
79
00:04:41,243 --> 00:04:44,143
[speaking German]
80
00:04:44,179 --> 00:04:47,613
[laughing]
[speaking German]
81
00:04:47,648 --> 00:04:51,550
Man. So the guy who shot
you down all those times,
82
00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:54,688
shot your eyeball out, he shows
up on the same teeny tiny island,
83
00:04:54,689 --> 00:04:57,857
halfway around the world?
I mean, what're the odds?
84
00:04:57,892 --> 00:05:00,125
- Literally zero.
- Shut up, bird.
85
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,428
Eh.
86
00:05:01,429 --> 00:05:03,562
- So... you okay?
- Hm?
87
00:05:03,598 --> 00:05:08,734
Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine,
I'm good, I'm totally good, I'm...
88
00:05:08,735 --> 00:05:11,327
[music]
89
00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:13,805
God...
90
00:05:13,806 --> 00:05:15,108
[machine gun firing]
91
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,641
Damn it!
92
00:05:18,511 --> 00:05:21,613
[chuckles]
No, I am good, I'm great.
93
00:05:21,648 --> 00:05:24,116
'Cause I'm gonna kill him.
94
00:05:24,151 --> 00:05:25,984
[Malory] Alright, Missy, we need...
[pianist playing jazz within]
95
00:05:26,019 --> 00:05:27,886
To have a little talk.
96
00:05:27,921 --> 00:05:29,721
Now, I don't know what you studied
97
00:05:29,757 --> 00:05:32,990
at whatever fancy-pants
finishing school you went to...
98
00:05:33,025 --> 00:05:34,159
- Finch.
- What?
99
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:38,930
- I went to Finch?
- No one cares. But can I assume
100
00:05:38,931 --> 00:05:40,965
they didn't teach you
business management?
101
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,502
- I don't know.
- Well, now you are a business.
102
00:05:44,537 --> 00:05:46,971
In which I've made a major investment...
103
00:05:47,006 --> 00:05:52,243
- Pfft, what, bear claws and brandy?
- And a roof over your head.
104
00:05:52,278 --> 00:05:54,745
And so far, you're not
making me any money.
105
00:05:54,781 --> 00:05:56,414
Well, how can I?
Look at this place.
106
00:05:56,415 --> 00:05:58,083
There's hardly ever anybody in here.
107
00:05:58,084 --> 00:06:01,952
Well, what about him?
Did you ask him about a date?
108
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:03,921
- I asked them both.
- Seriously?
109
00:06:03,956 --> 00:06:06,890
Ugh! I'll try again after
they finish that sherry.
110
00:06:06,925 --> 00:06:09,660
I-I... I think she was on the fence.
111
00:06:09,695 --> 00:06:13,597
- [gasps] Wait, what about him?
- [Malory] Ohh, no.
112
00:06:13,632 --> 00:06:16,933
He is strictly off limits.
And if I catch you sniffing around...
113
00:06:16,968 --> 00:06:19,169
[shattered glass]
[soldiers chattering in German]
114
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:23,273
[raucous cheers]
[speaks German]
115
00:06:23,308 --> 00:06:24,241
What in the...?
116
00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:26,242
Eh... parlez-vous Français?
117
00:06:26,278 --> 00:06:28,078
- English.
- Good, better.
118
00:06:28,079 --> 00:06:29,913
Eleven liters of beer, please.
119
00:06:29,948 --> 00:06:33,049
The first round is on me!
[soldiers cheering raucously]
120
00:06:33,084 --> 00:06:34,784
And then they pay for themselves!
121
00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:37,420
[soldiers playful boos and raspberries]
122
00:06:37,455 --> 00:06:41,724
Oh, do not listen to them, their
pockets are stuffed with back pay.
123
00:06:41,759 --> 00:06:44,827
And they have not seen
a woman in months. Oof.
124
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,095
Ahem.
125
00:06:46,096 --> 00:06:49,365
Here, take this down to the
shop and tell Mister Wong
126
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,968
you want the biggest jar
of coconut butter he's got.
127
00:06:53,003 --> 00:06:56,339
- Why?
- Trust me.
128
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,374
[Pam] Base a Rojo Tres.
[military music]
129
00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:02,960
Rojo Tres, responde.
[static]
130
00:07:03,045 --> 00:07:06,113
Rojo Tres...
Rojo Tres.
131
00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:07,881
God... Archer!
132
00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:10,884
- [Archer on radio] What?
- [Pam on radio] You're Rojo Tres!
133
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,253
I thought I was Red Thr... Oh.
134
00:07:13,289 --> 00:07:15,489
- [Crackers, low] Jesus Christ.
- Shut up, bird.
135
00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:18,058
[Pam] No, you shut up,
and keep an eye peeled for
136
00:07:18,059 --> 00:07:20,494
- that son of a bitch Ziegler.
- [Ziegler on radio] Ja?
137
00:07:20,495 --> 00:07:23,631
- Wha...?!
- He could be anywhere.
138
00:07:23,632 --> 00:07:27,867
[Ziegler laughs, guns firing]
Goddamn it, Ziegler, you...
139
00:07:28,903 --> 00:07:31,471
[Ziegler chuckling]
Adios, desayuno.
140
00:07:31,506 --> 00:07:35,041
Ziegleeeer!
141
00:07:35,076 --> 00:07:37,498
[gasps]
142
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,246
[heavy breathing]
143
00:07:39,247 --> 00:07:43,615
[angry sigh]
Oh, Ziegler.
144
00:07:43,651 --> 00:07:47,320
[Fuchs laughs]
It means the brickmaker!
145
00:07:47,355 --> 00:07:51,324
Ziegler, this is a family name in German
for someone who makes bricks.
146
00:07:51,359 --> 00:07:53,526
- [Lanaluakalani] Mm-hmm...
- [Fuchs] But in this case,
147
00:07:53,527 --> 00:07:54,961
it has also another meaning
148
00:07:54,962 --> 00:07:57,663
because he turns the enemy
warplanes into bricks!
149
00:07:57,698 --> 00:07:59,998
[laughs] Yeah,
other languages have puns too.
150
00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:02,100
But not as powerful as German puns!
151
00:08:02,135 --> 00:08:04,169
- Shhh!
- And so, with Ziegler
152
00:08:04,204 --> 00:08:08,039
and the other pilots providing close
air support to the new soldiers,
153
00:08:08,075 --> 00:08:11,243
nothing, not cannibals,
not zose verdammt lizards,
154
00:08:11,278 --> 00:08:13,345
can stop us from finding the idol!
155
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:15,146
[stage whisper] Keep your voice down!
156
00:08:15,182 --> 00:08:17,148
If my father hears you,
he'll cut your balls off!
157
00:08:17,184 --> 00:08:20,285
[chuckling] Ja, right,
like your bodyguards, eh?
158
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,888
- No!
- Oh.
159
00:08:21,889 --> 00:08:26,791
But until then, get back in here and
bring me some more... wienerschnitzel.
160
00:08:26,826 --> 00:08:29,660
[Fuchs] I, uh, still
need a bit more time...
161
00:08:29,696 --> 00:08:33,163
Still?
Ugh. What is taking so long?
162
00:08:33,199 --> 00:08:36,501
I must, uh, replenish my lebenskraft.
163
00:08:36,536 --> 00:08:37,969
[Lanaluakalani] Still, though...
164
00:08:37,970 --> 00:08:41,005
Wait a minute, you're not seeing
someone else, are you?
165
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,441
Don't be foolish. Besides,
what other women even live
166
00:08:44,476 --> 00:08:46,676
on this gottverlassen island?
167
00:08:46,712 --> 00:08:48,946
[delighted laughter]
168
00:08:48,981 --> 00:08:51,982
♪ Oh, it's a long way to Tipperary ♪
169
00:08:52,018 --> 00:08:55,052
♪ It's a long way to go ♪
170
00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:56,853
What zis the meaning of this?!
171
00:08:56,889 --> 00:08:59,289
The best I can tell,
it's about an Irishman
172
00:08:59,324 --> 00:09:01,358
- learning about cunnilingus.
- Quoi?
173
00:09:01,359 --> 00:09:04,127
- Oh, sorry, that's when...
- I know what it means!
174
00:09:04,162 --> 00:09:06,830
- Really?
- I mean these German soldiers!
175
00:09:06,865 --> 00:09:08,932
They have invaded French territoire!
176
00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:11,635
- And my heart, if I'm being honest.
- What?!
177
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:17,040
If these big lugs gamble and screw
as much as they drink, I can retire!
178
00:09:17,075 --> 00:09:19,175
Well, you may be for sale, madame,
179
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:24,880
but the honor of France is not.
I shall place them all under arrest!
180
00:09:24,881 --> 00:09:26,178
[gulps]
181
00:09:27,285 --> 00:09:31,754
- Viens, Doudou!
- Well, bonne chance with that...
182
00:09:31,789 --> 00:09:35,491
[Charlotte delighted laughter]
♪ Farewell Angleterre... ♪
183
00:09:35,526 --> 00:09:37,076
[grunts in pain]
184
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,296
Silence!
Who is in charge here?!
185
00:09:40,297 --> 00:09:42,865
I think I am.
Hauptmann Ziegler.
186
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,568
Zis island is French territory!
187
00:09:45,603 --> 00:09:48,203
You and your men are here illegally!
188
00:09:48,238 --> 00:09:50,339
Oh. But we are just here as tourists!
189
00:09:50,374 --> 00:09:51,407
[chuckles and laughter]
190
00:09:51,408 --> 00:09:54,242
Well, then I hope you
enjoy the tour of my jail.
191
00:09:54,278 --> 00:09:56,445
Because you are all under arrest!
192
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,513
[all protesting in German]
193
00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,215
Come on, we are just
some cool guys on leave,
194
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:04,018
and since France is so far away,
and you are so outnumbered,
195
00:10:04,053 --> 00:10:07,666
can't you also just be a cool guy?
196
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,560
- Non.
- Fair enough.
197
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:17,232
Et tu n'as rien fait...
Rien!
198
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:19,901
[soldiers, distant] ♪ Oh it's
a long way to Tipperary... ♪
199
00:10:19,936 --> 00:10:22,904
Tipperary. Pfft. It's a long
way to the goddamn ground,
200
00:10:22,905 --> 00:10:27,158
in a tired-ass Russian biplane,
when you lousy krauts are
201
00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:31,412
ripping around in your brand-new
goddamn Messerschmitts...
202
00:10:31,447 --> 00:10:36,217
[Pam over radio] Okay, Archer,
keep an eye on your six this time.
203
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:37,819
Don't worry about me, Pam.
204
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:41,555
Today's the day,
I can feel it, I'm gonna...
205
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:43,024
[Archer] Ziegler!
206
00:10:43,025 --> 00:10:46,092
[Ziegler laughing]
207
00:10:46,128 --> 00:10:48,833
Oh, so now we're just camping?!
208
00:10:54,936 --> 00:10:57,603
Higher top speed, higher
ceiling, tighter turn,
209
00:10:57,639 --> 00:11:02,542
better rate of climb, so big
whoop, you got a couple of kills.
210
00:11:02,543 --> 00:11:04,090
[gulping]
211
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:06,479
It's easy when you sneak up on people.
212
00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:10,416
[Pam over radio] So, again, and I
really can't stress this enough...
213
00:11:10,451 --> 00:11:12,118
Don't worry about my six, Pam.
214
00:11:12,119 --> 00:11:15,021
Nobody's gonna sneak up on me now.
215
00:11:15,056 --> 00:11:18,758
[plane approaching]
Ohh... wait, hang on...
216
00:11:18,793 --> 00:11:21,727
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
[machine gun firing]
217
00:11:21,763 --> 00:11:24,830
Oh! Ziegleeer!
218
00:11:24,866 --> 00:11:27,699
So drink up, Ziegler, you ratdick,
219
00:11:27,734 --> 00:11:30,769
because your nightcap is gonna be...
220
00:11:30,804 --> 00:11:32,771
[hiccups] ...bullets.
221
00:11:32,806 --> 00:11:35,774
First thing, I'm gonna
shoot your eye out.
222
00:11:35,809 --> 00:11:38,878
And then your dick off.
And then...
223
00:11:38,879 --> 00:11:44,315
[Reynaud groaning]
224
00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:46,217
What the...?
225
00:11:47,420 --> 00:11:49,388
- What're you doing?
- What does it look like?!
226
00:11:49,389 --> 00:11:54,059
- Uh... a hermit crab?
- Idiot! Get me out of here!
227
00:11:54,094 --> 00:11:56,160
- I'm busy.
- Wha...?!
228
00:11:58,932 --> 00:11:59,931
What the...?
229
00:11:59,932 --> 00:12:01,515
- Oh, shoot.
- Aww, maaan...
230
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:04,236
- What the hell're you doing?!
- Well, we know you're sad,
231
00:12:04,237 --> 00:12:06,270
so we were gonna surprise
you with a Kringle.
232
00:12:06,306 --> 00:12:07,439
- A what?
- Kringle.
233
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,307
Kringle.
State pastry of Wisconsin?
234
00:12:09,342 --> 00:12:10,775
Wisconsin has a state pastry?
235
00:12:10,776 --> 00:12:11,776
Kringles.
236
00:12:11,777 --> 00:12:14,612
- Stop saying Kringle!
- Okay, jeez!
237
00:12:14,647 --> 00:12:16,114
But what're you doing
with your gun, there?
238
00:12:16,115 --> 00:12:19,850
I'm gonna go in there...
Actually, no, wait...
239
00:12:19,885 --> 00:12:24,031
You're gonna go in there,
and lure Ziegler in here,
240
00:12:24,084 --> 00:12:26,691
that's better,
and I'm gonna hide in the pantry,
241
00:12:26,692 --> 00:12:29,526
and then I'm gonna bust
out and shoot his eye out.
242
00:12:29,561 --> 00:12:31,662
And then his dick off.
243
00:12:31,697 --> 00:12:34,764
And then... his brains.
244
00:12:34,799 --> 00:12:37,267
- Whaaaat?
- Yeah, you don't wanna do that...
245
00:12:37,302 --> 00:12:39,670
Yes, I do, Pam!
An eye for an eye!
246
00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:41,172
That's right in the goddamn Bible!
247
00:12:41,173 --> 00:12:43,740
Yeah, but c'mon, that was a fair fight.
248
00:12:43,775 --> 00:12:46,610
It wasn't fair!
I was in a biplane!
249
00:12:46,645 --> 00:12:49,951
- He was in a brand-new goddamn 109!
- Still though...
250
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:52,148
Yeah, but you don't
wanna kill him like this, it's...
251
00:12:52,183 --> 00:12:56,252
- It's chickenshit.
- [weary sigh] You're right.
252
00:12:56,287 --> 00:12:59,623
Goddamn it, you're right.
And so...
253
00:12:59,624 --> 00:13:02,325
- I'm sorry for this.
- Sorry for...? Ungh!
254
00:13:02,326 --> 00:13:04,927
[Pam thuds]
Oh, what the shit, man?!
255
00:13:04,963 --> 00:13:07,741
[gulps]
Shut up, bird.
256
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:11,016
[Crackers] Hey.
257
00:13:11,017 --> 00:13:12,017
Hey, wake up.
[Ziegler snoring]
258
00:13:12,018 --> 00:13:14,406
C'mon, rise and shine, Fritz.
[gentle snoring]
259
00:13:14,588 --> 00:13:16,555
[annoyed sigh]
[squawks]
260
00:13:16,590 --> 00:13:17,590
[Charlotte] Waaaghh!
261
00:13:17,591 --> 00:13:19,200
- Jesus, what?!
- Was?!
262
00:13:19,235 --> 00:13:22,094
Easy! Easy!
I'm supposed to give you this.
263
00:13:22,095 --> 00:13:25,097
- How is this bird talking?!
- Right?
264
00:13:25,098 --> 00:13:28,781
Was zum Teufel ist...
Oh, Scheiße!
265
00:13:30,004 --> 00:13:34,138
Nein, nein, nein, nein!
Scheißkopf!
266
00:13:40,313 --> 00:13:44,181
So, hey, what would
a gal have to do to...?
267
00:13:44,217 --> 00:13:47,050
[door closes]
Jesus, rude much?!
268
00:13:47,086 --> 00:13:48,286
I was going to ask how to get
269
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:50,187
a ride out of here on
one of their planes.
270
00:13:50,223 --> 00:13:52,055
Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath.
271
00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:54,685
Yeah, well, I wouldn't
be a talking bird.
272
00:13:59,531 --> 00:14:03,633
[sniffs]
273
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:06,069
[sniffs]
274
00:14:06,105 --> 00:14:10,840
[gentle snoring]
275
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:12,808
Huzza... wuzza...
276
00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:15,345
Where the...?
Oh, what the shit?!
277
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,480
[Archer] Heh, heh.
Hey, sleepyhead.
278
00:14:17,515 --> 00:14:20,950
- Glad you could join us.
- Why the hell am I in a... Owww!
279
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,419
Christ on a bike!
My head kills!
280
00:14:23,455 --> 00:14:26,155
[chuckling] Yeah, mine
did too, to be honest.
281
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:29,694
- Little hairy dog?
- No, I... Wait a minute.
282
00:14:29,731 --> 00:14:31,828
- You hit me!
- I lightly tapped you...
283
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,063
You piece of shit, you hit me!
284
00:14:34,098 --> 00:14:36,198
- Only because you were right!
- What?!
285
00:14:36,234 --> 00:14:38,734
I was gonna shoot Ziegler,
you may not remember this
286
00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:40,353
'cause you have a concussion,
287
00:14:40,354 --> 00:14:41,936
but I was gonna shoot Ziegler,
288
00:14:41,972 --> 00:14:44,072
but you told me that was chickenshit,
289
00:14:44,107 --> 00:14:46,007
and so now we're gonna
settle it up here,
290
00:14:46,042 --> 00:14:49,010
in a dogfight,
in evenly matched planes!
291
00:14:49,045 --> 00:14:51,381
- Man to man!
- And woman!
292
00:14:51,382 --> 00:14:53,181
Well, yeah, I needed a tailgunner, so...
293
00:14:53,216 --> 00:14:55,417
- Goddamn it!
- And so now's probably a good time
294
00:14:55,452 --> 00:14:58,988
- to familiarize yourself with said gun...
- Goddamn it!
295
00:14:58,989 --> 00:15:02,624
'Cause if Crackers did what I told
him to, it won't be long before...
296
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:05,526
- [Ziegler over radio] Archer?!
- Speak of the teufel...
297
00:15:05,561 --> 00:15:06,996
Come on up, Ziegler.
298
00:15:06,997 --> 00:15:09,511
See what it's like to fight
somebody fair and squ...
299
00:15:09,546 --> 00:15:12,033
[Archer and Pam startled yelps]
Say your prayers, Archer!
300
00:15:12,068 --> 00:15:14,702
This time I will put you
down once and for all!
301
00:15:14,737 --> 00:15:16,371
Pam, get your head outta your ass!
302
00:15:16,372 --> 00:15:18,205
- Me?!
- Your one job...
303
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,574
is to shoot things
coming at us from beh...
304
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:22,610
Oh, shit!
305
00:15:25,014 --> 00:15:27,015
- Son of a...
- [Pam] What was that?
306
00:15:27,016 --> 00:15:29,650
[Archer] Nothing.
307
00:15:29,686 --> 00:15:31,219
[soldiers chattering in German]
308
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:34,455
- I assume this was Sterling?
- Yep, yep, yep.
309
00:15:34,456 --> 00:15:37,055
Mm-hmm.
[sips]
310
00:15:40,229 --> 00:15:41,696
- Putamierda!
- Goddamn it!
311
00:15:41,697 --> 00:15:43,397
[Ziegler laughing] It
doesn't matter what you fly,
312
00:15:43,432 --> 00:15:48,067
- Archer, I will always beat you!
- Oh, you couldn't beat...
313
00:15:48,102 --> 00:15:49,470
Hang on, I had something for th...
314
00:15:49,471 --> 00:15:52,138
- Ya wanna save the quips?!
- It was pretty good!
315
00:15:52,173 --> 00:15:57,538
Oh, wait, so's that.
316
00:15:57,779 --> 00:16:00,614
[laughs hysterically]
How do ya like that, Ziegler?!
317
00:16:00,615 --> 00:16:03,850
Heh. Who taught you how
to shoot, your husband?
318
00:16:03,885 --> 00:16:05,252
[laughs]
Will you shut up?!
319
00:16:05,253 --> 00:16:06,854
It was pretty good!
320
00:16:06,855 --> 00:16:09,655
All right, Archer, I am
bored with this and with you.
321
00:16:09,690 --> 00:16:11,891
Get ready to die.
322
00:16:11,926 --> 00:16:13,726
[shrieks]
323
00:16:13,761 --> 00:16:18,364
Um... okay.
324
00:16:18,399 --> 00:16:20,713
- Was ist Los?!
- Scheiße! Wir sind getroffen!
325
00:16:20,748 --> 00:16:22,068
[Ziegler] Nein, nein,
nein, nein, nein...
326
00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:23,536
[speaks German]
327
00:16:23,537 --> 00:16:26,563
What the...?
[Ziegler screams]
328
00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:29,576
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hooo!
329
00:16:29,577 --> 00:16:32,244
[laughing]
Holy shit!
330
00:16:32,279 --> 00:16:34,012
- Did you see that?!
- Yeah, I...
331
00:16:34,047 --> 00:16:35,314
I must've hit his fuel tank!
332
00:16:35,315 --> 00:16:37,315
- Wait, what?
- Whoo-hoo!
333
00:16:37,351 --> 00:16:42,820
Million-to-one shot, but I did it!
I finally beat Ziegler!
334
00:16:42,856 --> 00:16:46,391
- Yeah. Way to go.
- [laugsh] Right?!
335
00:16:46,426 --> 00:16:48,459
But so now what? We can't
go back to the island now,
336
00:16:48,495 --> 00:16:50,561
the krauts are gonna know
this whole thing was you.
337
00:16:50,597 --> 00:16:51,697
You think I didn't think of that?!
338
00:16:51,698 --> 00:16:54,365
Don't worry, I put Crackers on it.
339
00:16:54,401 --> 00:16:57,268
[Fuchs] What in ze
hell is going on here?!
340
00:16:57,303 --> 00:17:00,004
Well?!
Someone had better tell me!
341
00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:04,009
Uh, yeah, so I was here, earlier,
and I saw the whole thing,
342
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:06,511
which was Ziegler and the other guy,
343
00:17:06,546 --> 00:17:10,114
Schnell, who, come to
find out, is his lover...
344
00:17:10,149 --> 00:17:11,549
- [all reactions of disbelief] Nein!
- Yeah...
345
00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:14,852
So they stole the other two planes
and set this one on fire,
346
00:17:14,853 --> 00:17:18,322
so nobody could follow them to Shanghai,
347
00:17:18,357 --> 00:17:21,058
where they plan to open a cabaret,
348
00:17:21,093 --> 00:17:25,096
the unfortunately named "Scandals."
[soldiers all exclaiming]
349
00:17:25,097 --> 00:17:28,264
Ooh, Scandals, that sounds fun, huh?
350
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,867
- [speaking German] Morgen!
- Hallo, Schatz!
351
00:17:29,868 --> 00:17:33,703
- [giggles] Hi, guys!
- You're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
352
00:17:33,739 --> 00:17:37,174
- I'm surprised you can even walk.
- What? Oh!
353
00:17:37,175 --> 00:17:38,975
God, no, they were all
so drunk they thought
354
00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:42,611
that jar of coconut butter
was, you know, me. [Chuckles]
355
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:44,547
Oh. Oh!
356
00:17:44,582 --> 00:17:47,283
Well, as long as you charged
everybody full price...
357
00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:48,652
Heh. Right?
358
00:17:48,653 --> 00:17:51,187
Then you should have
a lot of money to give me?
359
00:17:51,222 --> 00:17:53,823
Ah. About that... [scoffs]
360
00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:57,126
I've decided that from now
on, I'm keeping all of it.
361
00:17:57,162 --> 00:17:59,362
- Excuse me?!
- Yeah, because your cop buddy
362
00:17:59,363 --> 00:18:00,697
lives in a barrel now,
363
00:18:00,698 --> 00:18:03,333
and this stupid island is
under an occupying power,
364
00:18:03,334 --> 00:18:04,634
all of whom are heavily armed
365
00:18:04,635 --> 00:18:08,003
and basically totally in love with me.
366
00:18:08,038 --> 00:18:09,639
[panting]
Für dich, Fraülein!
367
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,140
Awww!
368
00:18:13,911 --> 00:18:18,246
So go make me some
goddamn breakfast.
369
00:18:18,282 --> 00:18:20,648
[Archer] Besides, getting
back to the island is like,
370
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,550
the one thing we don't
have to worry about.
371
00:18:22,586 --> 00:18:25,153
Yeah exactly, so...
Wait, what?!
372
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:27,522
[engine seizes up]
373
00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:29,993
Damn it.
Well, the good news is,
374
00:18:29,994 --> 00:18:31,860
at least it's a seaplane, right?
375
00:18:31,895 --> 00:18:34,396
- Well, I mean, it was...
- What?!
376
00:18:34,397 --> 00:18:37,766
[Pam] Goddamn it!
Goddamn it! If you...
377
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,434
Oh, shut up!
C'mon, if anybody
378
00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:42,003
can crash-land a plane,
it's me, right? Huh?
379
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,405
With all my experience?
Pam?
380
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,655
- Then get it over with!
- Oh, okay, I guess just pout.
381
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,578
- Pam.
- I am!
382
00:18:50,579 --> 00:18:52,346
Okay, then here goes!
383
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:55,916
[both yelling]
384
00:18:55,951 --> 00:18:57,619
[Archer grunts]
385
00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:01,855
[both scream]
386
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:04,091
[Archer] Whooo-hoo-hoo!
387
00:19:04,127 --> 00:19:05,192
Bocadas De mierda!
388
00:19:05,193 --> 00:19:09,362
And did you see that, Pam?!
Also perfect!
389
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,532
Who wins? Huh?
Archer wins!
390
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,067
Yeah? This is a win for you?
391
00:19:14,102 --> 00:19:17,337
Not just for me, Pam.
For America.
392
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:21,341
And those hapless Spanish communists.
393
00:19:21,342 --> 00:19:22,643
[music]
394
00:19:22,644 --> 00:19:27,647
- Well? So now what?!
- So now, since we've only got one flare,
395
00:19:27,682 --> 00:19:29,182
I'm gonna shoot their leader with it,
396
00:19:29,183 --> 00:19:31,684
and then when the rest of
them go into a feeding frenzy,
397
00:19:31,719 --> 00:19:33,353
you and me are gonna make a run for it.
398
00:19:33,354 --> 00:19:35,688
- What?!
- [chuckling] I'm kidding!
399
00:19:35,723 --> 00:19:38,891
You big dumb idiot.
[flare gun shot]
400
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,561
[sighs]
Ya know...
401
00:19:41,562 --> 00:19:43,562
[Archer chuckling]
402
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:49,358
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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