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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,423 Season 13 Episode 8 "Dead Celebrities" 2 00:00:33,746 --> 00:00:36,285 You have been very, very naughty. 3 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,925 You're a naughty girl. 4 00:00:39,295 --> 00:00:40,918 I've been so naughty. 5 00:00:43,624 --> 00:00:44,659 Jeez! 6 00:00:44,784 --> 00:00:45,834 What the... 7 00:00:49,213 --> 00:00:50,591 Get back to bed right now. 8 00:00:51,489 --> 00:00:53,844 I'm scared. There's a ghost. 9 00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:55,443 Not this again. 10 00:00:55,568 --> 00:00:57,932 We're sick of you talking about ghosts. 11 00:00:58,262 --> 00:01:00,327 - But, daddy... - No buts. 12 00:01:00,452 --> 00:01:03,437 Get back to your room and don't come out. You got it? 13 00:01:06,632 --> 00:01:08,468 Gerald, what has gotten into him? 14 00:01:08,593 --> 00:01:09,751 I don't know. 15 00:01:09,876 --> 00:01:12,927 Maybe with all the famous people dying this summer, 16 00:01:13,052 --> 00:01:14,783 he freaked himself out. 17 00:01:41,714 --> 00:01:44,520 Billy Mays here for Mega Scrub cleanser. 18 00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:49,261 Are you tired of your kitchen counters getting those nasty stains? 19 00:01:49,386 --> 00:01:51,402 Don't just rub them, megascrub them. 20 00:01:51,713 --> 00:01:52,836 Billy Mays! 21 00:01:56,790 --> 00:01:59,072 Mold, mildew, even those impossible wine stains 22 00:01:59,197 --> 00:02:01,542 are gone in a flash when you snipe them away. 23 00:02:01,667 --> 00:02:03,006 Mommy! 24 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,592 Farrah Fawcett! 25 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,535 David Carradine! 26 00:02:18,366 --> 00:02:20,931 Billy Mays here for Mighty MendIt. 27 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:24,602 The fast and easy way to mend, hem and wear it again. 28 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:30,698 - Ike, what? - Make Billy Mays go away! 29 00:02:30,944 --> 00:02:33,430 Make Billy Mays go away. 30 00:02:34,386 --> 00:02:36,122 Make him stop. 31 00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:38,780 Make him stop, Kyle! 32 00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:45,610 Ike, your family is very worried about you. 33 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,066 Ike, you can talk to me. 34 00:02:49,191 --> 00:02:50,334 I'm a therapist. 35 00:02:50,459 --> 00:02:52,923 Whatever has been troubling you, it's okay. 36 00:02:55,298 --> 00:02:57,883 It's a secret. 37 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,418 Tell me your secret. 38 00:03:00,895 --> 00:03:03,024 I promise not to tell anyone else. 39 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:09,786 I see dead celebrities. 40 00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:15,641 You mean you see dead celebrities on TV in the news? 41 00:03:16,547 --> 00:03:19,663 I see them walking around. 42 00:03:20,086 --> 00:03:22,162 They talk to me. 43 00:03:23,124 --> 00:03:26,413 Are you seeing any dead celebrities right now? 44 00:03:27,489 --> 00:03:30,720 Just Ed McMahon. 45 00:03:33,815 --> 00:03:36,674 How often do you see dead celebrities? 46 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,566 All the time. 47 00:03:47,652 --> 00:03:48,666 Sup, Jew. 48 00:03:49,315 --> 00:03:51,868 Guys, Ike has gotten worse. I'm really worried about him. 49 00:03:51,993 --> 00:03:54,051 He's still seeing dead celebrities. 50 00:03:54,722 --> 00:03:55,816 What a dumb ass. 51 00:03:56,946 --> 00:04:00,172 I don't know. Last night, We found him in the kitchen pantry. 52 00:04:00,297 --> 00:04:03,279 He was screaming the name Billy Mays over and over. 53 00:04:03,783 --> 00:04:04,783 Billy Mays? 54 00:04:06,351 --> 00:04:08,738 You didn't tell us Ike was seeing Billy Mays. 55 00:04:08,863 --> 00:04:11,333 - What? - He saw the ghost of Billy Mays? 56 00:04:11,937 --> 00:04:13,377 I don't know who that is. 57 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,406 The guy on TV who had incredible things for people buy. 58 00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:19,282 He died four months ago, but they still show him all the time. 59 00:04:19,407 --> 00:04:21,021 For the love of Christ. Here. 60 00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,180 Here. This is him. 61 00:04:25,835 --> 00:04:28,559 Billy Mays here with another fantastic product. 62 00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:31,980 If you're like other Americans, you love to eat Chipotle. 63 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,065 But you hate all those blood stains in your underwear. 64 00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:36,559 I love Chipotle. 65 00:04:36,684 --> 00:04:39,570 But getting all the blood stains out of my underwear is a nightmare. 66 00:04:39,949 --> 00:04:42,410 Now there's a product that can clean blood stains 67 00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:44,533 caused by Chipotle off your underwear. 68 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,449 Chipotlaway. 69 00:04:47,051 --> 00:04:51,051 Just one Chipotle burrito can leave up to a 1/4 cup of blood. 70 00:04:51,176 --> 00:04:54,376 But Chipotlaway makes your underwear clean and ready for more. 71 00:04:54,775 --> 00:04:57,355 Stop buying new underwear every time you eat Chipotle. 72 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,923 That can cost you thousands. 73 00:04:59,458 --> 00:05:02,885 Chipotlaway gets rid of blood stains and leaves your underway good as new. 74 00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:06,775 Imagine having underwear so clean you can eat off of it. 75 00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:08,599 Chipotle. 76 00:05:08,983 --> 00:05:10,851 Now you can eat all the Chipotle you want 77 00:05:11,161 --> 00:05:13,938 and still have underway that sparkles and shines. 78 00:05:14,442 --> 00:05:16,393 Order right now! 79 00:05:18,154 --> 00:05:19,731 That product changed my life. 80 00:05:20,013 --> 00:05:21,737 It works. I use it all the time. 81 00:05:22,097 --> 00:05:24,745 - What? Are you serious? - Look, Kyle. 82 00:05:24,870 --> 00:05:28,408 If there's a chance he isn't at rest, I want to help. 83 00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:30,295 Why the hell would you do that? 84 00:05:30,674 --> 00:05:32,136 He was a great person. 85 00:05:32,261 --> 00:05:35,213 Why would you keep eating something that made you crap blood? 86 00:05:37,074 --> 00:05:39,632 Dude, have you had Chipotle? It's really good. 87 00:05:40,071 --> 00:05:42,755 We have to help Kyle's brother and get to the bottom of this. 88 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,271 I know just who to call. 89 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,762 On this episode of Ghost Hunters, 90 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,848 a little boy in Colorado appears to be haunted by celebrities. 91 00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:53,560 The Ghost Hunter team will roll out and get to the bottom of it. 92 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,771 It's the gayest show in the fucking world. 93 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:57,001 Ghost Hunters! 94 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,442 All right. What we have this week, Chris? 95 00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:03,445 We're going to Colorado to investigate celebrity paranormal... 96 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,445 Wait. What was that? 97 00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:08,376 I heard it too. It was like a... 98 00:06:09,346 --> 00:06:10,812 Is there a ghost here? 99 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,499 All right. A little boy is seeing the ghost? 100 00:06:15,874 --> 00:06:17,584 Apparently only he is seeing them. 101 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,555 What is that? Do you hear that? 102 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,147 Look. What is that? 103 00:06:23,428 --> 00:06:25,078 I think that's a cigarette lighter. 104 00:06:25,203 --> 00:06:26,647 All right. Okay. Maybe. 105 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:31,159 We're now inside the house where the ghosts have been spotted. 106 00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:34,589 - What was that? - What was what? 107 00:06:34,714 --> 00:06:37,271 Did you hear that? It was like a... 108 00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:41,001 Is there a spooky ghost here? 109 00:06:41,952 --> 00:06:44,047 Look. What is that? 110 00:06:44,172 --> 00:06:46,002 I'm pretty sure that's their television. 111 00:06:46,127 --> 00:06:47,781 Man, I'm really scared. 112 00:06:49,536 --> 00:06:50,983 What is this? 113 00:06:51,108 --> 00:06:53,480 There's a wetness coming from my pants! 114 00:06:53,605 --> 00:06:55,589 - I see it! - What is it? 115 00:06:55,936 --> 00:06:57,291 I'm so scared. 116 00:06:58,058 --> 00:06:59,650 - I'm so scared. - Look. 117 00:06:59,775 --> 00:07:01,052 It's got you, too! 118 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,492 Make sure the camera is getting this. 119 00:07:03,617 --> 00:07:05,269 Definitely paranormal activity. 120 00:07:05,394 --> 00:07:07,042 It's a warm, moist. 121 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:10,253 A warm, moist sensation that is moving down my left thigh. 122 00:07:10,378 --> 00:07:13,642 Look, it's starting to form a pool around the floor now. 123 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,047 Are you getting this? 124 00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:17,318 Are you guys fucking serious? 125 00:07:17,443 --> 00:07:19,802 The paranormal activity is now leaving 126 00:07:19,927 --> 00:07:21,940 a trail of some kind behind both of us. 127 00:07:23,364 --> 00:07:27,364 Something hot and warm is coming out the back of my pants now. 128 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,739 It smells! 129 00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:45,914 You see, Ike? There's nothing. 130 00:07:46,268 --> 00:07:48,290 There's nothing for you to be afraid of. 131 00:07:49,138 --> 00:07:52,299 Billy Mays here for the Big City Slider Station. 132 00:07:52,574 --> 00:07:53,962 It's all in your head. 133 00:07:54,087 --> 00:07:57,256 The fast and easy way to press and cook sliders. 134 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,398 {\*CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL OF DENVER} 135 00:08:08,576 --> 00:08:10,743 I just don't understand it. 136 00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:12,987 It's going to be all right. 137 00:08:13,112 --> 00:08:15,112 But it doesn't make any sense. 138 00:08:15,974 --> 00:08:19,773 I mean, If you know it's going to make you crap blood, 139 00:08:20,129 --> 00:08:22,793 why wouldn't you at least just try eating less of it? 140 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,379 That's what I'm saying. 141 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,588 You have the Chipotlaway, so it doesn't matter. 142 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,174 Of course, it matters. You should be concerned 143 00:08:29,299 --> 00:08:31,548 there's blood in your underwear. You understand this? 144 00:08:31,673 --> 00:08:34,471 I eat Chipotle all the time and never made me crap blood. 145 00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:36,338 How nice for you, Stan. 146 00:08:36,463 --> 00:08:39,852 You have a golden rectum of the gods, but the rest of us need Chipotlaway. 147 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,929 Boys, little Ike is stable. 148 00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:46,690 But the celebrity ghosts have sent him into some kind of coma. 149 00:08:47,136 --> 00:08:48,819 Wait. There really are ghosts? 150 00:08:49,082 --> 00:08:50,663 Of course there are. 151 00:08:50,788 --> 00:08:52,781 Haven't you seen that show Ghost Hunters? 152 00:08:53,318 --> 00:08:54,798 But I'm a pediatric doctor, 153 00:08:54,923 --> 00:08:57,328 so I'm going to and this off to Dr. Phillips, 154 00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,582 who specializes in spooky things. 155 00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,109 The ghost of the celebrities 156 00:09:03,234 --> 00:09:04,733 are in deep unrest. 157 00:09:04,858 --> 00:09:07,128 I've never sensed anything like it. 158 00:09:08,932 --> 00:09:12,500 I believe these celebrity ghosts are still roaming the world. 159 00:09:12,794 --> 00:09:14,547 Reaching out, through the child. 160 00:09:14,672 --> 00:09:17,273 They're lost in purgatory. 161 00:09:17,952 --> 00:09:19,808 Purgatory? What's that? 162 00:09:20,902 --> 00:09:22,939 Sometimes when people die, 163 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,939 they can't accept what's happen to them. 164 00:09:26,431 --> 00:09:29,263 And so, before they reach the after life, 165 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,419 they go to a place called 166 00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:32,892 purgatory. 167 00:09:34,442 --> 00:09:37,240 It is a temporary plane of existence. 168 00:09:37,797 --> 00:09:39,747 It's neither heaven nor hell. 169 00:09:40,331 --> 00:09:42,010 Purgatory is like, 170 00:09:42,135 --> 00:09:45,378 being on an airplane that is waiting to take off. 171 00:09:46,057 --> 00:09:48,337 But you're still sitting at the gate. 172 00:09:49,219 --> 00:09:52,463 And even though the plane isn't taking off, 173 00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:55,777 they won't let you back off the plane. 174 00:09:56,314 --> 00:09:59,213 And you can't get up to go to the bathroom. 175 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:01,797 Because you're on an active runway. 176 00:10:03,315 --> 00:10:05,536 All these dead celebrities 177 00:10:05,799 --> 00:10:07,528 are sitting on that plane, 178 00:10:07,933 --> 00:10:10,051 waiting and wanting to move on. 179 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:13,386 Bur for whatever reason, they are stuck, 180 00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:15,717 without any information, 181 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,602 even from the pilot. 182 00:10:17,916 --> 00:10:20,369 How much longer it's going to be. 183 00:10:20,957 --> 00:10:22,700 And it's taking forever. 184 00:10:23,068 --> 00:10:25,234 They are not serving drinks yet. 185 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,284 It's like a terrifying limbo. 186 00:10:29,632 --> 00:10:30,632 My God! 187 00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,135 Poor Billy Mays! 188 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:50,084 I am speaking to the celebrities that are haunting this child. 189 00:10:52,222 --> 00:10:55,486 If any spirit can hear my voice, make your presence known. 190 00:11:03,774 --> 00:11:06,623 Billy Mays here again with another fantastic product. 191 00:11:07,047 --> 00:11:08,527 Billy Mays, it's him! 192 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,797 Are you tired of having to put your toilet seat down? 193 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,505 Yes, I am, Billy Mays. 194 00:11:14,446 --> 00:11:17,527 Be quite, Billy Mays. Somebody is trying to contact us. 195 00:11:18,115 --> 00:11:20,182 To which celebrity am I addressing now? 196 00:11:20,307 --> 00:11:21,997 This is Walter Cronkite. 197 00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:25,585 All you celebrities need to know that you have passed on. 198 00:11:25,868 --> 00:11:28,554 - We know that. - Of course, we know that. 199 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,027 There's only one person here not cooperating. 200 00:11:31,152 --> 00:11:34,454 That's right. Just admit you're dead and sit down. 201 00:11:37,231 --> 00:11:38,528 That's ignorant. 202 00:11:39,278 --> 00:11:40,282 I'm not dead. 203 00:11:41,346 --> 00:11:42,562 You are dead! 204 00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:45,351 I just have a skin condition. 205 00:11:46,376 --> 00:11:49,373 Boys quickly, convince Michael Jackson he's dead. 206 00:11:49,498 --> 00:11:50,961 - What? - He's in denial. 207 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:52,819 He's been in denial all his life. 208 00:11:52,944 --> 00:11:55,464 Tel him or you're going to lose your little brother. 209 00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:58,769 Mr. Jackson, you aren't alive. 210 00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:00,553 You're in purgatory. 211 00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:04,755 You being ignorant. I'm alive. 212 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:06,942 And I'm a child. 213 00:12:07,557 --> 00:12:08,757 And I'm white. 214 00:12:09,513 --> 00:12:12,391 Mr. Jackson, please, you're causing a lot of problems. 215 00:12:13,537 --> 00:12:15,783 Billy Mays here for the Super Sweeper. 216 00:12:15,908 --> 00:12:17,194 Shut up, Billy Mays! 217 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,270 You're dead, Mr. Jackson. 218 00:12:20,266 --> 00:12:22,157 - That's just ignorant. - Accept it! 219 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,956 He's in too much denial. 220 00:12:36,664 --> 00:12:37,962 Wake up, buddy. 221 00:12:38,742 --> 00:12:40,217 You got to wake up! 222 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,138 There you go. That's good! 223 00:12:47,073 --> 00:12:49,019 I thought I lost you, little brother. 224 00:12:50,093 --> 00:12:51,393 That's ignorant. 225 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,330 Look, everyone. I told you I was alive. 226 00:12:55,070 --> 00:12:57,036 What are you doing inside my little brother? 227 00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:59,820 I'm a child. I knew I was a child, see? 228 00:13:00,211 --> 00:13:02,901 Come on, let's play. Let's go climb a tree. 229 00:13:04,153 --> 00:13:05,210 Come back here! 230 00:13:07,668 --> 00:13:09,282 Come on, let's climb the tree. 231 00:13:10,384 --> 00:13:12,827 Mr. Jackson, you can't do this. This is not your body. 232 00:13:13,263 --> 00:13:15,208 I'm a little white child. Let's play. 233 00:13:18,877 --> 00:13:21,776 Asshole, you're keeping a lot of celebrities in purgatory. 234 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,046 Including the late and talented Billy Mays. 235 00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:25,698 It's ignorant! 236 00:13:25,823 --> 00:13:28,449 People lie and spread rumors about me. 237 00:13:28,789 --> 00:13:31,708 Like that I'm dead. How could I do this if I was dead? 238 00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:37,965 What are we going to do? 239 00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,610 Come on, this is ridiculous. 240 00:13:45,735 --> 00:13:48,168 How much longer do we have to sit in purgatory? 241 00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:51,079 - Come on! - This is ridiculous! 242 00:13:51,437 --> 00:13:53,998 Ladies and gentlemen, we thank you for your patience. 243 00:13:54,123 --> 00:13:55,889 I've been informed we are delayed 244 00:13:56,014 --> 00:13:58,253 at least another 96 hours. 245 00:14:00,802 --> 00:14:03,049 You can't keep people stuck like this. 246 00:14:03,336 --> 00:14:05,910 We know you want to cross over to the next plane 247 00:14:06,035 --> 00:14:07,554 but for now, you have to stay. 248 00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,764 That's it! I have to go to the bathroom. 249 00:14:10,089 --> 00:14:12,593 Stay in your seat with your seatbelt fasten. 250 00:14:12,998 --> 00:14:15,522 You've been saying that for three months now. 251 00:14:16,548 --> 00:14:19,446 Let's see. Demonic ghosts, animal ghosts. 252 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,750 Setting traps for ghosts. 253 00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:26,222 Here's the one part that really makes no sense. 254 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,635 The first time you saw blood stains on your underwear, 255 00:14:30,889 --> 00:14:32,239 were you alarmed? 256 00:14:33,433 --> 00:14:34,633 Was I alarmed? 257 00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:39,457 - I believe I was. - So why do you just ignore it 258 00:14:39,582 --> 00:14:41,715 using something as stupid as Chipotle away? 259 00:14:42,068 --> 00:14:43,200 Chipotlaway. 260 00:14:43,325 --> 00:14:45,661 I'm not the one who uses it. My mom does. 261 00:14:46,021 --> 00:14:47,301 She does the laundry. 262 00:14:48,838 --> 00:14:51,034 Your mom uses Chipotlaway 263 00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:53,906 to clean blood stains out of your underwear? 264 00:14:55,254 --> 00:14:57,615 And then takes you to Chipotle and buys you more? 265 00:14:57,740 --> 00:14:59,147 Yes. It's totally normal. 266 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,220 People do this stuff, you know. 267 00:15:01,345 --> 00:15:03,716 Not every one can be the boy with the golden butt hole. 268 00:15:03,841 --> 00:15:06,083 Here it is. "Possession by a ghost". 269 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:09,157 "A ghost that enters and refuses to leave a living host 270 00:15:09,282 --> 00:15:13,161 because it failed in the living world to be what it wanted to be." 271 00:15:13,653 --> 00:15:16,558 "The ghost must be allowed to transform and be recognized 272 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,077 by the living as what it always tried to be." 273 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,605 What did Michael Jackson always try to be? 274 00:15:22,025 --> 00:15:24,130 A child. And a female. 275 00:15:24,611 --> 00:15:27,112 - And white. - Look, a planet. 276 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:31,805 He wants to finally be accepted by the living as a little white girl. 277 00:15:32,096 --> 00:15:34,545 What are we going to do? Dress him up in a princess gown 278 00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:37,227 and parade him like the parents of those child pageants? 279 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:44,192 {\*LYNCHBURG WELCOMES THE TINY MISS PAGEANT!} 280 00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:47,362 First up, we have the beautiful Miss Jessica. 281 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,298 All right, Jessica. 282 00:15:51,514 --> 00:15:54,005 Jessica enjoys riding her horse Marley 283 00:15:54,130 --> 00:15:56,247 and doing her nails with her sisters. 284 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:59,499 Next, contestant number 26, Miss Brandy. 285 00:16:01,854 --> 00:16:03,204 Brandy, work it, girl. 286 00:16:03,784 --> 00:16:07,173 Brandy likes ice cream and playing with her cat, Sunshine. 287 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,093 Don't forget to blow a kiss to the judges, Brandy. 288 00:16:15,506 --> 00:16:18,380 And now welcome contestant number 27, 289 00:16:18,505 --> 00:16:20,604 little Miss Michael Jackson. 290 00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:25,400 - All right, Michael! - Work it! 291 00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:28,346 Michael says she just enjoys being a child. 292 00:16:28,768 --> 00:16:30,826 She loves to play and climb trees 293 00:16:30,951 --> 00:16:33,333 and thinks people who don't are ignorant. 294 00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:34,688 Ignorant. 295 00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:37,601 God, I hope this works. 296 00:16:39,628 --> 00:16:42,820 Billy Mays here for the little Country Handy Pillow. 297 00:16:42,945 --> 00:16:45,048 Are you tired of sitting in limbo? 298 00:16:45,173 --> 00:16:47,621 Lost somewhere between planes of existence? 299 00:16:47,746 --> 00:16:49,174 Now there is a product... 300 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,481 Will somebody shut his fucking mouth? 301 00:16:51,606 --> 00:16:52,969 I can't take it anymore. 302 00:16:53,251 --> 00:16:55,551 It's bad enough without having to listen to you 303 00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:57,474 try and sell your stupid crap. 304 00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:00,582 With two easy steps, I can climb over these seats 305 00:17:00,707 --> 00:17:02,896 and kick you in the fucking balls. 306 00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:06,190 That does it We won't just sit here anymore. 307 00:17:06,315 --> 00:17:07,609 We want answers. 308 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,362 Why isn't anybody telling us anything? 309 00:17:10,952 --> 00:17:13,665 Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. 310 00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:15,494 It's about fucking time. 311 00:17:15,932 --> 00:17:18,977 Certainly want to thank you for all your patience. 312 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,222 We know that you're eager to... 313 00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:24,347 get going and we will certainly pass on any information... 314 00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:26,384 as it becomes... 315 00:17:27,038 --> 00:17:28,229 more available. 316 00:17:29,326 --> 00:17:31,920 Michael Jackson isn't here anymore. He's gone. 317 00:17:32,045 --> 00:17:33,510 We should move on now. 318 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,515 But as we all know, Mr. Jackson had a lot of baggage. 319 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,868 He checked some of that baggage in. So the crew has to go through it 320 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:44,062 and get his out of purgatory before we push back from the gate. 321 00:17:49,342 --> 00:17:51,786 Did I do good in the swimsuit category? 322 00:17:51,911 --> 00:17:55,198 I was worried that brunette was prettier than me. 323 00:17:56,289 --> 00:18:00,215 Excuse me. Please do us a favor and vote for little Miss Jackson. 324 00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:01,370 It's important. 325 00:18:01,495 --> 00:18:03,842 It's more important for my little Kylie. 326 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,966 Just look at this face. 327 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,837 Mommy, that hurts my cheek implants. 328 00:18:14,784 --> 00:18:16,898 All right. Thank you, Miss Cassie. 329 00:18:17,277 --> 00:18:19,278 Now for her talent portion, 330 00:18:19,403 --> 00:18:22,392 Miss Michael Jackson is going to sing for us. 331 00:18:24,039 --> 00:18:26,692 I'm just a little girl 332 00:18:27,688 --> 00:18:30,118 A dainty little thing 333 00:18:30,666 --> 00:18:33,329 And I know you all want to be 334 00:18:33,849 --> 00:18:36,439 A little white girl like me 335 00:18:44,877 --> 00:18:46,464 The two male judges love her. 336 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,236 All right. That's about enough. 337 00:18:52,869 --> 00:18:54,758 - Crap. - What the eff? 338 00:18:55,523 --> 00:18:56,801 All right, everyone. 339 00:18:57,199 --> 00:18:59,554 The judge will now tally her final scores. 340 00:19:00,167 --> 00:19:03,209 We're totally screwed. They took the two best judges away. 341 00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:05,163 No way that lady judge is voting for us. 342 00:19:05,288 --> 00:19:06,902 She's glaring the entire time. 343 00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:10,177 You'll win for sure, Heidi. That judge adores you. 344 00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:12,515 This is hopeless. 345 00:19:14,332 --> 00:19:16,404 Wait. Look at the lady judge. 346 00:19:19,035 --> 00:19:20,532 She's eating Chipotle. 347 00:19:21,092 --> 00:19:23,787 - So what? - Maybe she doesn't know. 348 00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,817 Maybe she doesn't know! 349 00:19:27,516 --> 00:19:29,584 Excuse me, ma'am. I see you're eating Chipotle. 350 00:19:31,592 --> 00:19:34,478 It's my favorite fast food, I would eat it every day. 351 00:19:34,603 --> 00:19:35,631 Except I... 352 00:19:36,613 --> 00:19:37,613 Except... 353 00:19:37,738 --> 00:19:39,677 You can't afford buying all the underwear? 354 00:19:41,171 --> 00:19:42,414 How did you know? 355 00:19:43,065 --> 00:19:45,981 It doesn't matter. I'm just going to have to give it up. 356 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,758 What if you didn't have to give it up? 357 00:19:54,003 --> 00:19:55,046 Excuse me? 358 00:19:56,334 --> 00:19:59,384 I think you and I might be able to help each other here. 359 00:20:03,974 --> 00:20:07,963 And now it is time to announce our grand little miss. 360 00:20:08,378 --> 00:20:10,291 Little Miss Michael Jackson! 361 00:20:20,588 --> 00:20:22,636 I'm sorry I didn't win, mommy. 362 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,956 Thank you so much for this reward. 363 00:20:26,081 --> 00:20:28,840 Of all the awards I ever won, this one means the most. 364 00:20:29,524 --> 00:20:30,707 I feel like... 365 00:20:30,832 --> 00:20:32,271 I'm finally at rest. 366 00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:34,621 I'm finally at rest! 367 00:20:35,173 --> 00:20:36,401 I'm free! 368 00:20:42,426 --> 00:20:43,914 Holy shit! 369 00:20:44,570 --> 00:20:46,850 What the fuck am I wearing? 370 00:20:49,838 --> 00:20:50,969 Ike, you're back. 371 00:20:51,463 --> 00:20:54,201 What the fuck is going on? 372 00:20:54,326 --> 00:20:55,626 It's okay, Ike. 373 00:20:55,751 --> 00:20:57,594 You're going to be okay. 374 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:02,974 Thanks to us and Chipotlaway, the celebrities can now rest. 375 00:21:06,707 --> 00:21:07,890 I'm free! 376 00:21:08,261 --> 00:21:09,351 I'm free! 377 00:21:11,708 --> 00:21:13,021 He's here! 378 00:21:13,908 --> 00:21:15,299 - Finally! - He's here! 379 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,902 All right, everyone. Looks like we're all ready to move on. 380 00:21:20,498 --> 00:21:21,821 Did you all see my crown? 381 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:28,057 Finally, we can all move on! 382 00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:36,072 All right. I'd like to be the first to welcome you to the gates of hell. 383 00:21:36,507 --> 00:21:38,922 Unfortunately, hell is a towing gate. 384 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:45,456 SouthParkNews.net (1.0) La Fabrique 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 27520

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