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Season 13 Episode 7
"Fatbeard"
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00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:41,468
You guys! You guys!
We can finally do it!
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00:00:41,718 --> 00:00:45,255
We can finally leave this crappy town
and live the life we've all dreamed of!
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00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:47,672
- We can?
- What are you talking about, dude?
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00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,900
Haven't you assholes
been watching the news?
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00:00:50,025 --> 00:00:51,867
Pirating is back, my friends.
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00:00:51,992 --> 00:00:53,989
Swashbuckling adventure
on the high seas.
8
00:00:54,114 --> 00:00:57,557
The stuff we've all dreamed about!
And it's all happening right here.
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00:00:58,412 --> 00:00:59,412
Somalia!
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00:00:59,812 --> 00:01:02,111
- Somalia? Where's that?
- North Africa.
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00:01:02,608 --> 00:01:05,842
Just picture it, guys!
Clear blue water with skull islands!
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00:01:05,967 --> 00:01:08,182
Waterfalls and jeweled
treasure underneath!
13
00:01:09,564 --> 00:01:11,696
I've worked it all out on Expedia.
We can take
14
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,655
Southwest Airlines to Miami,
then Dubai Air here to Cairo.
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00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:17,827
Then it's just a 49-hour bus ride
into Mogadishu,
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00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,622
with all the booty
and plunder a pirate could want.
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00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,928
You know, Cartman,
that is an awesome idea.
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00:01:24,053 --> 00:01:26,597
- You should totally go to Somalia.
- Right! And we...
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00:01:27,516 --> 00:01:30,298
Wait a minute. You never
think my ideas are good, Kyle.
20
00:01:30,823 --> 00:01:32,356
No, I'm being totally serious.
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That is the best idea you've ever had.
You should run away to Mogadishu.
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00:01:36,017 --> 00:01:38,807
You should go there right away.
I'll even help pay for your ticket!
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00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:41,012
Cool! Wait a minute.
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00:01:41,137 --> 00:01:43,288
The fuck! Why would you do that?
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00:01:43,802 --> 00:01:46,439
Unless, you're trying
to trick me somehow.
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00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:50,168
No, you're right. Somalia is
an oasis of treasure and waterfalls!
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- It's totally the pirate's life!
- Then why don't you wanna go?
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00:01:54,002 --> 00:01:56,288
'cause, dude, I'm Jewish,
and you know...
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Jews can't be pirates.
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That's true.
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00:01:59,606 --> 00:02:02,640
Well, I'm glad you've finally come
to terms with your disability, Kyle.
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00:02:03,005 --> 00:02:04,916
Gentlemen,
I'm off to start planning.
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00:02:07,642 --> 00:02:08,686
Please.
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00:02:08,811 --> 00:02:10,380
Please let him go.
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00:02:11,508 --> 00:02:14,529
Good morning, students.
These are the morning announcements.
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00:02:14,654 --> 00:02:17,284
Teacher-parent conferences
were rescheduled to next Tuesday.
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00:02:17,409 --> 00:02:18,881
Please inform your parents.
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00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,808
The gym is being repainted
and is closed until tomorrow afternoon.
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00:02:22,327 --> 00:02:24,126
And now for a special announcement.
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00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:26,294
Avast there, mateys!
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00:02:26,544 --> 00:02:29,711
Do you have a thirst for adventure
on the high seas of life?
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00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:33,882
Sick and tired of parents and teachers
telling ye what to do all the time?
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00:02:34,007 --> 00:02:37,055
Then join Captain Cartman's
perfect pirate club!
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00:02:37,392 --> 00:02:38,944
Just imagine it, me hearties!
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A life without rules,
without homework and chores!
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00:02:41,892 --> 00:02:44,325
You can live the pirate's life
in Somalia, me friends.
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00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:47,667
Even Kyle said so.
Our first official pirate meetin'
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00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,587
will be 4:00 PM today,
at Kevin Stoley's house.
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00:02:50,884 --> 00:02:54,036
- At my house? Why my house?
- There will be refreshments served.
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So make sure your mom
goes to the grocery store!
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00:02:56,526 --> 00:02:57,635
So come all.
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The invitation is open to any student
who wants to be a pirate,
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00:03:00,749 --> 00:03:03,419
and who isn't Jewish,
Mexican or ginger.
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00:03:04,648 --> 00:03:07,402
And for lunch today,
the cafeteria will be serving
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00:03:07,527 --> 00:03:10,227
taco salad or hoagie sandwiches.
Thank you.
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00:03:11,596 --> 00:03:13,512
Ahoy, fellow club members!
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00:03:13,637 --> 00:03:16,425
Congratulations on leaving
your meaningless lives behind
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00:03:16,550 --> 00:03:17,950
to become pirates.
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00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:21,856
Your life of boredom is at an end,
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00:03:21,981 --> 00:03:25,038
thanks to Captain Cartman.
All hands on deck!
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Attention!
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00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,724
All right, ye booty lubbers!
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00:03:32,849 --> 00:03:35,528
So you decided to join
Captain Cartman, did ye...
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00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:41,807
Guys. Who let in the g-i-n-g-e-r?
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00:03:43,801 --> 00:03:46,810
There's really not that many of us.
We figured we should let him join.
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00:03:47,078 --> 00:03:51,041
But, g-i-n-g-e-r-s can't be pirates,
'cause they don't have souls.
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- Please get it out of here.
- Fine! I don't want to be a pirate!
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00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,643
OK, anyways.
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00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,924
Now, enough small talk, lads! It's time
for us to start rappin' and plunderin'!
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00:04:02,846 --> 00:04:04,144
We set course tomorrow!
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00:04:04,269 --> 00:04:07,414
I purchased everyone's tickets online
using me mother's credit card.
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00:04:07,888 --> 00:04:09,582
And your mom is OK with that?
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00:04:10,054 --> 00:04:13,733
Dude, I'm a pirate! What the devil do
I care what me mother thinks anymore?
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Neat-o!
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00:04:15,119 --> 00:04:18,942
All right, lads. Go home and write
your farewell letters to your families.
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The land of pirates awaits!
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- Pirates ho!
- Pirates ho!
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00:04:28,439 --> 00:04:29,859
Kevin, goddammit.
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00:04:36,272 --> 00:04:38,472
Have a good flight.
Next, please?
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00:04:40,361 --> 00:04:43,807
We be heading to Somalia,
by way of Miami to Cairo.
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00:04:44,057 --> 00:04:47,078
And take care you put us
in an exit row, you landlubber.
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I see, you five boys
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00:04:49,982 --> 00:04:52,751
are all booked through
to Cairo by yourselves?
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00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:56,171
That we be, lass. It's all paid for
on me mother's credit card.
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00:04:57,106 --> 00:05:00,044
Jeez. I don't know
if I can really go through with this.
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00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,710
- What?
- It's just leaving everything behind.
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00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:04,979
I can't believe
I'm actually doing it.
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00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:08,504
- Maybe we should think about this.
- You guys, the fuck!
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00:05:08,829 --> 00:05:10,974
Are you forgetting
how crappy your lives are?
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00:05:11,099 --> 00:05:12,710
All the homework, the rules?
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00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:16,608
You really want to go back to school,
where people just make fun of you?
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00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,338
Who? You mean you?
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00:05:19,107 --> 00:05:21,946
- Do you really wanna go back to that?
- No, I'm sick of it!
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00:05:22,385 --> 00:05:25,133
Well, all right then, fag!
We can't turn back now.
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00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,797
The path to adventure lies
just beyond this ticket counter,
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00:05:27,922 --> 00:05:31,147
and if you four have really come
all this way just to turn back now,
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00:05:31,272 --> 00:05:34,391
then seriously, you guys...
The fuck?
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00:05:35,893 --> 00:05:38,161
He's right, lads.
To adventure!
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00:06:22,434 --> 00:06:23,867
This is Somalia?
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00:06:24,678 --> 00:06:27,678
Where's all the waterfalls
and shipwreck lagoons?
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00:06:28,915 --> 00:06:29,997
The fuck!
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Excuse me.
Where are the pirates?
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00:06:34,672 --> 00:06:36,286
We're looking for the pirates.
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00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,388
Where can we find the...
105
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,608
Get the phrase book out.
106
00:06:41,429 --> 00:06:43,261
Ask these people
where the pirates are.
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00:06:54,619 --> 00:06:55,999
He says they're in there!
108
00:06:57,877 --> 00:06:59,622
Nice! Come on, mateys!
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00:07:04,252 --> 00:07:06,760
Yes, bla, bla, bla. Thank you.
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Avast!
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These aren't pirates.
They're just a bunch of black people.
112
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:32,394
I'm Captain Cartman
and this here be my terrible crew.
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We be looking
for a ship to pirate with.
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00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:51,295
Yes, very nice.
Apparently these are the pirates.
115
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,294
Excellent!
They're taking us to a ship!
116
00:08:00,419 --> 00:08:03,817
Once we commandeer a vessel,
the plundering will be easy indeed.
117
00:08:07,984 --> 00:08:09,823
This is your pirate boat?
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00:08:10,331 --> 00:08:12,107
Dude. The fuck?
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00:08:12,989 --> 00:08:15,387
Seriously, guys,
what kind of pirates are you?
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I mean, really.
The fuck, dude. The fuck?
121
00:08:21,598 --> 00:08:23,878
Guess we'll have
to settle with this meager ship.
122
00:08:24,158 --> 00:08:26,357
Two of you sit aft
and two of you sit in the front.
123
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,992
I gotta sit middle,
'cause I get motion sickness.
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00:08:29,605 --> 00:08:31,155
Kevin, Jesus Christ.
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00:08:36,502 --> 00:08:37,854
Hard to starboard, lads!
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00:08:37,979 --> 00:08:39,933
There's sure to be lots
of booties out here!
127
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,488
Clyde, the fuck?
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00:08:51,543 --> 00:08:53,746
You said there was gonna be
crystal clear lagoons
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00:08:53,871 --> 00:08:55,621
and treasure and plunder!
130
00:08:56,926 --> 00:08:58,913
Calm down.
Everything's gonna be okay!
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00:08:59,396 --> 00:09:02,170
No, it's not. You made me
run away and be a pirate
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00:09:02,295 --> 00:09:04,502
and there's not even any treasure!
133
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,463
Ike, do something
about Clyde, please!
134
00:09:09,771 --> 00:09:10,771
Very nice, Ike.
135
00:09:11,323 --> 00:09:12,694
All right, me hearties!
136
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:15,020
Keep your eyes open
for boats to plunder!
137
00:09:58,381 --> 00:10:01,740
Dude! You're doing it all wrong.
Let me handle this.
138
00:10:02,163 --> 00:10:03,855
All right, ye scallywags!
139
00:10:03,980 --> 00:10:07,690
Surrender your plunder lest
we start firing shots across your bow!
140
00:10:11,554 --> 00:10:13,302
Yeah, that's good,
but now go "argh!"
141
00:10:20,756 --> 00:10:23,540
You checked with Kenny and Token?
He's not staying at their houses?
142
00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:26,751
No, everyone's checked. I think
Cartman really ran away to Somalia.
143
00:10:27,304 --> 00:10:29,752
Yes! I can't help but take
some credit for this.
144
00:10:29,877 --> 00:10:32,632
- I helped convince him to go!
- You think he'll die in Somalia?
145
00:10:33,114 --> 00:10:36,467
For sure. It's the most
godforsaken place on the planet!
146
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,702
Things are finally gonna
be normal around here!
147
00:10:38,827 --> 00:10:39,946
Oh, God!
148
00:10:40,071 --> 00:10:42,335
Oh, God!
What did we do wrong, Gerald?
149
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:44,086
Take it easy. We'll find him!
150
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,927
- I'll call you back.
- Kyle! He's gone!
151
00:10:47,052 --> 00:10:49,280
Your little brother's
run away from home!
152
00:10:49,405 --> 00:10:50,673
What? Are you sure?
153
00:10:50,798 --> 00:10:53,380
He left a note saying
he's never coming back!
154
00:10:54,297 --> 00:10:57,053
"Dear mommy and daddy.
I am running away.
155
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:58,439
I am sorry,
156
00:10:58,842 --> 00:11:01,600
but I cannot longer handle
the monotony of middle class life.
157
00:11:01,725 --> 00:11:03,485
Everyone at school
is a fucking idiot,
158
00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:06,404
and if one more person talked to me
about that Susan Boyle performance
159
00:11:06,529 --> 00:11:09,590
of Les Misérables I was going to puke
my balls out through my mouth.
160
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:13,670
I love you all, but I have to move on.
I'm going to Somalia to be a...
161
00:11:13,997 --> 00:11:15,842
to be a pirate."
Oh, shit!
162
00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:17,943
Gerald, what are we gonna do?
163
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:21,352
He couldn't have gone far.
Let's call the other kids' houses.
164
00:11:22,853 --> 00:11:24,653
God, what have I done?
165
00:11:33,825 --> 00:11:36,696
The fuck are you pirates doing?
Are we gonna plunder them or not?
166
00:11:54,192 --> 00:11:55,192
Let's go.
167
00:12:06,477 --> 00:12:10,299
Quiet, ye sons of biscuit eaters!
This boat is now pirate property!
168
00:12:10,608 --> 00:12:13,358
Now get ye to yer lifeboat,
lest ye wanna be shark bait!
169
00:12:15,111 --> 00:12:17,668
Plunder the booty, lads!
This ship is ours!
170
00:12:18,976 --> 00:12:21,199
I said get off my boat.
171
00:12:36,404 --> 00:12:38,663
That's it!
Get in there ye swarmy dogs!
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00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:40,654
Lower 'em down, Ike!
173
00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:45,533
Have a good day!
174
00:12:55,183 --> 00:12:58,088
- Hard to port, lads.
- Hard to port!
175
00:12:58,923 --> 00:12:59,923
What's port?
176
00:13:00,674 --> 00:13:02,696
Just make the boat go
that way, kind of.
177
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:17,589
That's good!
Now bring her around portside!
178
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,181
Now, that's a pirate ship.
179
00:13:32,099 --> 00:13:35,416
A fine day of plunderin' we had, boys.
What about yourselves?
180
00:13:35,952 --> 00:13:38,902
Here ye are, lads.
Plenty of booty to go around.
181
00:13:40,246 --> 00:13:42,057
A round of grog for me boys.
182
00:13:42,182 --> 00:13:43,948
A round of grog for everyone!
183
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:50,538
The fuck is this?
This is water in a Dixie Cup!
184
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,008
All right, goddammit.
Really, you guys.
185
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,382
What kind of pirates are you?
Look at yourselves!
186
00:13:55,507 --> 00:13:57,170
You're a disgrace to Blackbeard!
187
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,907
I don't know where you people
get off calling yourselves pirates...
188
00:14:00,032 --> 00:14:02,425
Little beat-up boats,
water in Dixie Cups.
189
00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:05,654
I mean, look! Look at this guy!
Look at this guy, for Christ's sake!
190
00:14:09,569 --> 00:14:11,382
I mean, how hard is this, people?
191
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:15,299
I tell ye, lads, if we're gonna be
the most feared people on earth,
192
00:14:15,424 --> 00:14:17,774
then there needs to be
some goddamn changes around here!
193
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:21,208
We drink and we pillage
and we do what we please
194
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,454
We get all we want for free
195
00:14:23,579 --> 00:14:25,893
We'll kick your ass
then rape your lass
196
00:14:26,018 --> 00:14:27,728
Somalian pirates we
197
00:14:27,853 --> 00:14:29,387
So with a yo ho ho
198
00:14:32,444 --> 00:14:33,844
Goddammit, people.
199
00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:35,948
With a yo ho ho!
200
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,754
And with a yee hee hee!
201
00:14:41,674 --> 00:14:43,721
We take to the African sea
202
00:14:43,846 --> 00:14:46,429
We'll brave the squalls
and bust your balls
203
00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:48,263
Somalian pirates we
204
00:14:48,532 --> 00:14:51,461
Somalian pirates we
205
00:14:52,204 --> 00:14:54,769
We left our homes
and we left our mothers
206
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,688
to go on a pillaging spree
207
00:14:56,856 --> 00:14:59,173
We'll cut off your ears
and break your toes
208
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:01,221
and make you drink our pee
209
00:15:01,346 --> 00:15:03,620
And if you sail into our waters,
210
00:15:03,745 --> 00:15:05,706
you best hear this decree
211
00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:08,077
We'll take your boat
and set your ass afloat
212
00:15:08,202 --> 00:15:10,235
- Somalian pirates we
- Nice!
213
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,652
With a yo ho ho
214
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,920
And a trick a lotty do
215
00:15:14,817 --> 00:15:16,747
We'll shoot you
in the face with glee
216
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,859
- We'll cut off...
- Let's stop for a minute.
217
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,171
Remember on "trick a lotty do",
that's an lotty do.
218
00:15:21,474 --> 00:15:23,631
Really need you guys
to enunciate the lotty.
219
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:24,841
Nadif?
220
00:15:25,301 --> 00:15:29,304
If I can get you and Abdikarim to sing
the harmony on the second "yo ho".
221
00:15:29,582 --> 00:15:30,847
And... Hashmish?
222
00:15:31,229 --> 00:15:34,354
I'm sorry, but you're a little flat.
Sing out, don't close your throat.
223
00:15:34,479 --> 00:15:38,079
So let's go from bar 14.
Pick up after the quarter rest. Ike?
224
00:15:40,031 --> 00:15:42,192
- Somalian pirates we
- Better!
225
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,574
With a yo ho ho
226
00:15:44,459 --> 00:15:45,776
And a trick a lotty do
227
00:15:46,689 --> 00:15:48,703
We'll shoot you
in the face with glee
228
00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:51,201
Then we'll cut off your cock
and feed it to a crock
229
00:15:51,369 --> 00:15:53,404
Somalian pirates we!
230
00:15:53,529 --> 00:15:56,761
Somalian pirates...
231
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:57,986
we!
232
00:15:59,077 --> 00:16:02,837
Somalian pirates we
233
00:16:05,049 --> 00:16:06,984
We found them adrift
in a lifeboat, sir.
234
00:16:07,109 --> 00:16:09,385
They said that pirates
took their ship by force.
235
00:16:10,063 --> 00:16:11,346
Damn pirates!
236
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,519
What's causing them
to suddenly be so much more active?
237
00:16:14,644 --> 00:16:15,934
Is the crew okay?
238
00:16:16,259 --> 00:16:18,731
Yes, sir. They're French,
so they surrendered immediately.
239
00:16:18,856 --> 00:16:21,397
Once they boarded your ship,
how did they force you off?
240
00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:33,717
Sir, the pirates appear
to have forced
241
00:16:33,842 --> 00:16:36,246
the French crew off their boat
with a lightsaber.
242
00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:40,262
My God. The pirates are getting
better equipped every day!
243
00:16:40,387 --> 00:16:43,120
Gentlemen, I want the President
of the United States on the phone.
244
00:16:43,245 --> 00:16:45,742
We can no longer fight
the pirates on the seas.
245
00:16:45,867 --> 00:16:47,926
We have to take them out
where they live.
246
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,957
What did I tell you, Butters?
This is the good life, huh?
247
00:17:00,271 --> 00:17:01,271
What's going on?
248
00:17:06,830 --> 00:17:09,195
Good. A hostage
will bring a fine ransom!
249
00:17:13,891 --> 00:17:16,630
Well, well, well!
250
00:17:20,027 --> 00:17:22,464
This is CNN... N.
251
00:17:23,212 --> 00:17:26,577
Breaking news of yet
another pirate crisis in Somalia.
252
00:17:27,031 --> 00:17:30,590
Members of NATO receive word today
that pirates have captured
253
00:17:30,715 --> 00:17:32,040
an American child,
254
00:17:32,165 --> 00:17:35,654
and are demanding 10 million euros
for his safe release.
255
00:17:35,961 --> 00:17:39,009
U.S. Navy ships have been deployed
and the pirate standoff
256
00:17:39,134 --> 00:17:40,560
is about to get ugly.
257
00:17:41,345 --> 00:17:45,307
Well, well, well... Kyle.
258
00:17:45,895 --> 00:17:48,526
You came all this way
to try and join my pirate club.
259
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:51,806
No, fatass, I came to get my brother!
We all have to get out of here!
260
00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:53,865
- It isn't safe!
- It isn't safe?
261
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:56,577
That's not what you said
back in the cafeteria, Kyle.
262
00:17:56,702 --> 00:17:58,995
In the cafeteria, you said
Somalia was awesome.
263
00:17:59,606 --> 00:18:00,997
I know. I was lying.
264
00:18:01,574 --> 00:18:04,876
Or are you lying now? So many lies,
you can't even keep them straight!
265
00:18:05,165 --> 00:18:08,713
You couldn't stand that we were living
in paradise while you were back home.
266
00:18:08,941 --> 00:18:12,458
This isn't paradise, and you know it.
The people here are starving and dying!
267
00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:15,493
The whole world has used Somalia
as a dumping ground for toxic waste.
268
00:18:15,618 --> 00:18:17,222
Even the fish are radioactive.
269
00:18:21,928 --> 00:18:24,899
Cartman, just give me my brother
and let us get out of here.
270
00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:28,448
Your brother is with Butters
taking inventory of our latest plunder.
271
00:18:28,573 --> 00:18:32,073
You... just sit tight till we hear
about your ransom money.
272
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:35,192
One box of Italian passports!
273
00:18:35,889 --> 00:18:37,339
One necklace, gold!
274
00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:39,623
Three crew member watches.
275
00:18:39,996 --> 00:18:42,539
Excuse me. Can I ask you a question?
276
00:18:44,444 --> 00:18:45,750
Sure, Guleed.
277
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:48,044
Why did you Americans come here?
278
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,085
'cause our lives sucked back home!
279
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:53,485
- We had all these rules and homework.
- Yeah, homework!
280
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,413
And our parents hollered at us.
281
00:18:56,095 --> 00:18:59,264
- So we wanted to be pirates.
- Pirates!
282
00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,257
But that's what I do not understand.
283
00:19:01,382 --> 00:19:04,037
Why would anyone
want to be a pirate?
284
00:19:06,168 --> 00:19:09,518
Every day, I dream
that I can go to school,
285
00:19:09,839 --> 00:19:11,235
learn about the world.
286
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,208
But my mother, she's dying of AIDS,
287
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:16,256
and there is no money for medicine.
288
00:19:16,381 --> 00:19:19,516
My father was killed
trying to find food for us.
289
00:19:20,815 --> 00:19:24,178
Do you know how I feel
every time we try to capture a boat?
290
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,531
Scared.
291
00:19:25,811 --> 00:19:28,663
And not just scared,
because I might get killed,
292
00:19:28,788 --> 00:19:32,055
but scared because
if I don't get something out of it,
293
00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:34,680
my family and friends
are going to die.
294
00:19:35,136 --> 00:19:38,899
I don't want to be a pirate.
I have don't see how anybody would.
295
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:45,973
Oh, my God.
296
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:50,360
Jeez, guess we kinda got
put in our place, huh, Ike?
297
00:19:50,942 --> 00:19:53,320
I feel like an asshole.
298
00:19:54,612 --> 00:19:55,612
Me too.
299
00:19:58,934 --> 00:20:02,744
- Go on! Walk the plank, ye scurvy dog!
- Cartman, knock it off!
300
00:20:02,912 --> 00:20:05,127
That's Captain Cartman,
ye jewswoggle.
301
00:20:14,263 --> 00:20:16,013
Listen, we wanna go home.
302
00:20:16,497 --> 00:20:19,094
- What?
- Me and Ike, we've been talking, and...
303
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:22,344
Well, guys, we really had it
pretty good back in America.
304
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:24,192
I mean, sure,
305
00:20:24,317 --> 00:20:27,203
it's easy to think our lives
are boring and full of rules,
306
00:20:27,328 --> 00:20:29,276
but a lot of people
have it way worse.
307
00:20:29,689 --> 00:20:32,476
The pirates' life isn't
a life of fun and adventure.
308
00:20:32,601 --> 00:20:34,550
It's a life of hardship
and suffering.
309
00:20:34,675 --> 00:20:38,517
When you get down to it, we were
pretty lucky to have the lives we did.
310
00:20:43,456 --> 00:20:46,177
I hate it here. It wanna go home!
311
00:20:47,248 --> 00:20:49,725
You guys cannot leave
the pirate club now!
312
00:20:49,850 --> 00:20:52,614
How can you not want to stay
in this paradise we've created?
313
00:20:52,966 --> 00:20:54,716
In Somalia, people have no laws!
314
00:20:54,841 --> 00:20:57,006
They have no rules,
and they never grow old!
315
00:20:57,174 --> 00:20:59,926
They never grow old
because they die before they're 30!
316
00:21:00,094 --> 00:21:03,827
Nobody's going anywhere.
I'm the captain of this outfit!
317
00:21:05,078 --> 00:21:06,078
To arms!
318
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,434
Now, is there any question
who's in charge?
319
00:21:12,693 --> 00:21:16,025
I have an entire pirate crew
willing to do anything for me.
320
00:21:20,436 --> 00:21:23,586
All right, men. Remember,
do not hit the white ones!
321
00:21:24,619 --> 00:21:28,004
Me and my crew
are gonna go on pirating forever!
322
00:21:37,695 --> 00:21:38,695
Clear.
323
00:21:42,688 --> 00:21:44,071
The fuck?
324
00:21:45,598 --> 00:21:49,525
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