All language subtitles for Gregg.Wallace.The.British.Miracle.Meat.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.BZ]

You can't beat British grub.

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YTS.BZ

But these days you've got to spend
a packet to bring home the bacon.

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And don't even get me started
on the eggs!

The cost-of-living crisis
is hitting Britain hard,

with food prices rising
at the fastest rate in 40 years.

But now a new line of affordable
protein is hitting our shelves.

This is engineered human meat.

That's right - a protein
made from human cells

that promises to be cheaper and
tastier than any of its competitors.

I'm Gregg Wallace, and I'm off
to visit Good Harvest,

where a whopping six tonnes of
human meat is engineered every day.

That is stunning!

With the promise of cheap meat
for all, it may well be

the meaty miracle we need to ease
the squeeze of the cost of living.

Anyone for human meat?

I'm Michelle Ackerley,

and while Gregg comes face to face
with the production line,

I'll be conducting a taste test
with some very picky palates.

It's really, um...tender.

For the first time, we're going
to find out where it comes from,

how it's made...

Whoa!

..and what it tastes like.

Mm! Mm.

Oh! Mm!

I'm up bright and early to check out
the Good Harvest processing plant

in Boston in Lincolnshire.

But it wasn't the most scenic
of drives.

# Here in my car

# I feel safest of all. #

High fences, barbed wire,
security lights.

It's a bit like a prison.

What next? Machine gun tower?

# Here in my car

# I can only receive

# I can listen to you

# It keeps me stable for days

# In cars. #

INTERCOM: Yeah?

Hello? Yeah? It's Gregg Wallace.

I've got an appointment.

I'm the bald bloke off the telly
with the glasses. Yeah.

I couldn't wait to see the mysteries
that lay inside.

How do you solve the cost-of-living
crisis with engineered human meat?

It sounds like magic.

And this is where the magic happens.

The Good Harvest processing plant
has been up and running

for over eight months.

It contains both industrial
and clinical operations

on a site the size of
four football pitches.

Hey! Are you Mick? I certainly am.
Pleased to meet you, Gregg.

Very good to meet you.
I'm here to learn.

Right, come this way
and I'll show you how it all works.

I want to see everything.
Oh, you will.

Mick Ross oversees the production
line and is in charge of

over 60 full-time staff who engineer
roughly 50,000 steaks every day.

So come on then, Mick.

How on earth do you grow human meat?

I want to introduce you
to our nutrient vat.

Hello, nutrient vat.

Gregg Wallace, telly presenter.
And your job is?

Well, what its job is, it processes
thin slices of tissue

in a nutrient-rich mix,
which you see here,

and then cells start to grow.

So over a 24-hour period,
these will slowly fuse together

into one great big...
what we call a cake.

So you're telling me that
that is human flesh?

Exactly.

But why human meat?
Why not animal meat?

That's a very good question.

We've got centuries of knowledge
of human medicine at our side.

We know more about humans
than we do about animals.

So, we've mastered engineering
human cells

to make these structured flavours
and sinews

that we expect from the flavours
of steaks we eat.

Good Harvest encourages people
who need the income to sign up,

select their own extraction site
and get paid within the week.

You expect to be feeding the nation.
with this,

you are going to need
a lot of donors.

Well, it's well in demand
and we've got a lot of people

coming forward because the other
great thing about it is

it's an opportunity to be paid.

Would you ever consider donating
yourself?

Yeah, maybe I would.
I mean, I may have to.

My bills are as high
as anybody else's.

You know, I've got a young family.
I've got a daughter to feed, so...

And would you feed your family
human steaks?

Oh, yes, most definitely.
Already have.

After the donor's tissue samples
are placed in the nutrient vat,

they're stimulated with electrodes

and left to grow at 40 degrees
Centigrade at the proving bay.

So, Gregg, after a few hours,
this is what we're left with.

Whoa!

No way!

Mate, that's the biggest chunk of
meat I've ever seen!

I mean, scientifically,
that's amazing.

But in terms of food,
that is stunning.

It is incredible, isn't it?
That is stunning! Look at it.

This 30kg protein cake
will be cut into nearly 100 steaks.

And it's all been grown
from the cells of just one person.

Maybe you'll give me a hand
to lift it out?

There we go. One, two, three...

That's it. Whoa, whoa!
Crying out loud!

We're gonna take it over
onto the resting board.

There we go. Wow!

This must be a relatively
new process.

Oh, it is. I mean, under EU law, we
couldn't possibly operate machines

like this due to legislation,
but thankfully, now we're out,

we can harvest people
and we can pay them for their flesh.

So what happens to this now?

Right. Well, this will either be
cut into steaks or it'll go off

and be processed for sausages,
burgers, you name it.

You can do anything with it.

Proper space age, innit, this? It is.

Meat me up, Scotty.

I've got to grips with the guts of
human meat production,

but I wanted to know,
how does this new protein

compare to a real steak?

It was time for that all-important
taste test.

I knew just the chef for the job.

I'm off to Le Gavroche,
a two-Michelin star restaurant

in the exclusive London borough
of Mayfair,

to see Top Chef Michel Roux Junior.

DOORBELL

Chef, look at this.
Look, I am seriously intrigued.

This is a meat
I've never seen before.

I want to see what the fat content
is like,

I want to see what the flavour
is like.

I want you to cook it
because I don't know anybody better.

Hang on a minute,

"Good Harvest - made by humans,
from humans"?

Yeah, these come from three donors
in the north-east of England.

Wow. I wonder if that affects
the flavour.

You're right. Do donors
from the north-east of England

have a different flavour and texture
to ones from the south-east?

I would have thought so,

because it's what we call
in French "terroir",

it's where you were brought up.

You are what you eat
at the end of the day.

And we're going to find out.

For my blind taste test, Michel
would cook up three different steaks

and we'd work out what sort
of person they were grown from.

Ideally, I want it reared outside,

I want it looked after,
not stressed.

These donors were from
the north-east,

so what about a beer-fed Geordie?

Oof! I don't know.

It's very, very difficult
to get my head round.

This looks quality.

So we're just going to... Mm.
HE LICKS HIS FINGERS

Ooh! Mm.

Mm. Are you all right? Mm. OK. Mm.

I'm gonna put it on the plate.

So we just need to let it rest
for five minutes,

and then you can taste it.

Michel had cooked up a human meat
feast of three succulent steaks.

Now, the taste test could begin.

Wow! Beautifully cooked, of course.

Nicely presented.

Should we both try this one first?

Mm, OK.

Right, let's go.

These engineered steaks are grown
from the cells of human donors

who are paid for their flesh.

But can we guess
which sort of person

each steak has been grown from?

Hm.

Yeah, you've got to chew this one.

This...

This is really...

Mm. This steak is actually one of
the cheaper ones in the range.

If it was 100% pure beef, I'd say
that this was an animal that's got

a certain age and maybe, maybe
a little bit stressed as well.

It's quite strong flavour.

Well, I've actually got some
tasting notes here, so look -

"These Good Harvest steaks
have been cultivated from Alison,

"45 years old, NHS nurse
AND part-time delivery driver."

So, very active, two jobs,
which probably explains why

the meat's a little stringy.

45 is not old, but it's not veal,
or a young cow, as it were.

Master taster Michel hadn't quite
nailed the provenance.

But what about Steak B?

That looks nice!

Mm.

Mm!

Oh, there's almost a sweetness
to this.

It's tender, fattier, really tender.
Mm!

I've got the tasting notes
on this one as well.

"These Good Harvest steaks
have been cultivated from Guy,

"39 years old, was working in social
services, now redundant."

And I think this means
that he's not moving around, is he?

He's doing a lot of sofa-sitting
and telly-watching,

which has made him more relaxed,
plumper.

It's not good for Guy, I suppose,
to be redundant like that,

but it's great for us.

It's good eating.

I don't think this is about
where in the country they come from,

I think it's about the lifestyle.

There was one final steak to try.

It's part of a new range
from Good Harvest

that's being kept secret
until its launch.

We've been given a sneak peek
to try and guess the donor.

It's still all going through FSA
trials, so they can't tell us exactly

what it is, but I really want to
give it a go if you are up for it.

Yeah, yeah, I'm up for it.
It looks great.

Come on. Mm! Right.

Oh, like a knife through butter,
that is.

Oh, wow!

Mm.

Mmm! That hardly needs chewing.

That is unreal!

It is proper melt-in-the-mouth
quality. Mm!

I'm quite amazed by that.

And that is a third of the price
of an average ribeye. Wow.

The donor must be someone
pretty special, I think.

That is the kind of meat
that I would serve here.

But who is the average human donor

and why do they sign up
in the first place?

At the Good Harvest clinical wing,

donors of all shapes and sizes
get expert medical advice

on which parts of their body
are most suitable for extraction.

I'd arranged to speak to one of them.

Hello, Gillian!

You all right, kid? Oh, yeah.
Nice to meet you.

I'm going to be sticking my snout
in your marrow.

From donor to doner kebab.

Go for it.

Our cameras visited Gillian's home
near Lincoln.

Gillian is a 67-year-old
retired receptionist,

originally from Hornchurch.

She lives with her grandson Jimmy
and her housebound husband David.

Oh, my husband was a plasterer.

But then after his back went, well,
I ended up doing a lot for him.

When the prices shot up,
well, it buried us.

It really has.

Am I excited about donating?

No.

You know, there's something wrong
when you've got to jump on a bus

and go and have some flesh
scooped out of your arm for money.

Oh, ho-ho!

You're my silly sausage, aren't you?
SHE LAUGHS

Are you nervous, Gillian?

Yeah.

Won't hurt, though, will it?

I mean... Well, so we're told.

I hope not.
Well, it can't do, can it?

Because otherwise
it...wouldn't be allowed.

With the money from her donation,
Gillian will be able to pay

for nearly two weeks of energy bills.

And as she processed the news,

other donors were finding out
what their bodies could earn.

CASH REGISTER RINGS

CASH REGISTER RINGS

But I wanted to know
what one single thing would they use

their hard-earned dosh to fix?

Black mould in every room
of the house.

I'm going out to earn money
so I can repair it.

And there's no other option
but to...? To do it.

Yeah, but good on you.

No-one wants mould in the house.

That's correct.

TANNOY: Attention, numbers 12 to 24.

Please make your way to the changing
rooms to get ready for harvest.

As our gang head off to get scrubbed
and cleaned for harvest,

I wanted to know what was in store
for them.

And who better to explain
than the CEO of Good Harvest

and private healthcare
entrepreneur Tamara Ennet?

Hello, Gregg!

You must be Tamara?

I am, welcome to our donor site.

Thank you. Thank you for your time.

Of course! Would you like a tour?
Would I?

SHE LAUGHS
Does a dog woof? Come on.

Tamara's company seeks to offer
a helping hand

to the economically deprived.

It's nice!

They want to disrupt
the cost-of-living crisis

by paying low-income individuals to
have some of their flesh extracted.

Can I try it? Of course.

Whoa! Whoa, that's as cosy as my bed
at home.

I suppose if you're going
to have a bit cut off,

you might as well be comfortable,
right?

And you can actually get a bed here.

How did you get into this?

I mean, it's not something that's
a natural career move, is it?

So, my background
is in elite healthcare,

specialising in human cellular
science.

That, combined with
the cost-of-living crisis,

the demand for cheaper meat,
and voila, Good Harvest was born.

It was amazing to be able to do
something that would give back

and help so many people that
can't help themselves right now.

Serious question, boss.

Does it hurt?

It is pain subjective.

So, it hurts?

It's just pain subjective.
It's subjective.

We just need the right people...
..with pain. ..to step forward and

grab this amazing opportunity to
pull themselves out of the crisis.

Should we get them in? Let's do it.

They scrub up quite well!

Before harvesting begins,

the donors are weighed and measured,

so the right amount of flesh
can be extracted.

How much flesh are you taking
from them, Tamara?

It's a deliberately variable
measurement.

So, with Gillian, for example,

we have seen that she has an
excellent fat-to-muscle ratio,

so we should be able to extract
a snooker ball

or possibly even up to an orange.

Chocolate or normal?
SHE LAUGHS

I've been invited to one
of Good Harvest's operating theatres

to see Gillian
undergo her extraction.

UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS

Oh, wow!

I've never been anywhere like this,
I'm going to learn a lot.

Hi, Gillian. How are you doing?

OK.

You're looking good, Gillian.

Because of inflation,
today's extraction

will pay for two weeks' worth
of energy bills,

but not baseline care
for her husband.

Luckily, Tamara thought
she could help.

Now, Gillian, I've just been told
by our team that we actually

have space in our operating schedule
for two incisions.

So, one from the buttock
and one from the upper thigh.

Of course, that would result
in a 50% uplift in fee.

So, how does that sound?

Umm... Two extractions,
but it's the same recovery.

GILLIAN SIGHS
Yeah.

If I were in your position,
I would do the same.

Is it not going to hurt more?

It is pain subjective.

Gillian, you'll soon be asleep, OK?

ELECTRIC SAW BUZZES

Coming up... Oh, hello!

..I get an exclusive look
into the surprising origins

of the new Good Harvest
Premium Range.

Wow!

Yeah. Wow! Yeah.

I'm in a human meat plant
in Lincolnshire to explore a novel

solution to
the cost-of-living crisis.

You're telling me that
that is human flesh? Exactly.

45 minutes ago, a 67-year-old
retiree had her flesh harvested

for cash to help her live
within her means.

ELECTRIC SAW BUZZES

But now I wanted to find out
how this meaty miracle

could help the public.

Michelle Ackerley took to
the streets of London to find out.

We're asking people
how they're feeling, really,

what the past few years
have been like,

how they manage their bills...

Pay doesn't go up nothing...

It's just everything else
that goes up.

Oh, like over the winter,

instead of putting the heat on,

I've been sleeping with two duvets
on the settee.

To stop the energy bill,
because mine is...

My supplier has gone sky high.

As the lunchtime rush began,
it was time for Michelle

to get the samples out.

Hi there! Would you like to try
some human meat?

From human cells.

OK.

Have a taste. It's from human cells.

Interested in trying it?
I mean... Yeah, why not?

Let me know what you think.

It's nice.

It's really, um...tender.

As a student, for 99p,
I would 100% buy that.

Flavour-wise, I mean, that would
make a really good burger.

In this rural operating theatre,

the Good Harvest medical team
are overseeing Gillian's recovery.

Gillian, this is fluid dug
from your spine

so we can check for bacterias.
GILLIAN GROANS IN PAIN

Gillian is that bit older,
so her pain subjective reaction

is at the upper end of moderate.

Still within the normal range.

Gillian, you look a million dollars!
GILLIAN MOANS

I was reassured that Gillian's
reaction was perfectly normal

and she'd soon be heading home
with a smile on her face,

pleased that her double extraction
would help support her family.

So Tamara took me to
the Good Harvest boardroom

to learn more about her company's
plans for the future.

We're actually researching
human leather.

We think that it could be
a low-cost game-changer

for the fast fashion industry,

but right now we are focused
on the launch

of our brand-new food range,
which you actually had a taster of.

The mystery meat? Mm-hm.

I don't mind telling you,
that was fantastic.

I'd been lucky enough to taste
Good Harvest's latest meat earlier.

Oh, there we are!

Like a knife through butter, that is.

But I didn't yet know whose cells
it had come from.

The donor must be someone
pretty special, I think.

So I'd snagged a spot at a special
screening of the promotional video

with the board of directors
to find out.

Oh, hello!

What an honour. Nerve centre, right?

The belly of the beast. Come on!

Let's hit play.

TV VOICEOVER: Three months ago,

Good Harvest revolutionised
the food industry.

Now our new product
is about to disrupt it again.

We're keeping our prices low
while making our steaks

even more succulent.

What's our secret?

It's well-fed children
under the age of six.

See, here at Good Harvest,
we consider the womb nature's oven,

preheating a delicious, juicy donor

until their flesh
is ready-to-eat...meat.

Milk-reared and well-rested,

these children donate
the best meat money can buy.

It's all gravy, baby!

Because our babies
taste great with gravy.

The Good Harvest Premium Range
from junior donors.

CHILD: Delicious!

THEY APPLAUD

Any questions?

HE EXHALES

How old are...? How old
are the children, please?

Under sevens.

You, er... I have to ask this.

Are you expecting any...
any moral objection?

It tested really, really well
with our focus groups.

It's so creamy,
it just tastes better.

You tasted some earlier.

Yes. Yeah. Beautiful meat,

but I didn't know what I...
What I was eating. Mm-hm.

Do we know how the children are now?

They actually recover quicker
than adults.

And you're going to launch it
imminently?

We actually have children on site
right here, right now.

Do you want to visit our
junior donor department?

Actually, yes, I would.

Yes, I think I would.

Would you like some toddler tartare?

Er... No. I'll pass, if that's OK.
Thank you.

OK. I had a...sandwich
a little while ago.

There's no doubt Good Harvest's
new product line

is a lot to chew on.

So creamy.

And as I made my way to their
children's medical complex,

I wasn't sure what I was in for.

Oh!

Thankfully, in the flesh,

it's a reassuring sight.

The idea is to create the most fun,
relaxing environment possible

for the kids
before they go to harvest.

Well, they do look happy and chilled.

The children's centre is impressive,
and Tamara explained

it was designed to allow
the children to relax,

because like livestock
on the way to an abattoir,

any stress in transit could impact
the quality of their meat.

Will you play with me?

Yes! Yes, of course I will.

What is it that you would
like to play?

Fire engine.

That's a good game,
that's a good game.

Do we need to set something
on fire first?

No. OK!

As well as a double extraction
for Gillian,

Good Harvest have managed to get

Gillian's grandson, Jimmy,
a place as a junior donor.

To give a new generation a chance to
pull themselves out of this crisis.

"This little piggy had roast beef.

"This little piggy had none.

"And this little piggy went,
'Wee, wee, wee,' all the way home."

SIREN BLARES
Attention...

The siren marks the end of playtime.

Now it's time for these children's
extractions to begin.

Wow, do they always go in there
that quickly?

Well, it depends if
it's their first time donating.

Are you a little bit scared
about it all?

Of course you are.

But you know what's really,
really scary to me?

Have you heard of inflation?

Price hikes?

These things all mean that
ordinary, decent people like you,

you don't have many options.

This...

This is an amazing opportunity
for you to do your bit, Jimmy,

and to make your nana proud.

Do you want to be a hero?

Shall we?

CHILDREN SCREAM

These children donors of Good Harvest
are an example to the rest of us,

and it's no wonder the state
are 100% behind their sacrifice.

The Trussell Trust say a future
without food banks requires

a benefit system that works for all,

and secure incomes,
so people can afford essentials.

So it's no surprise eating children

seems a more likely path
for our country.

It's a modest proposal, but it might
be the only attempt we've seen

to take the great British
cost-of-living crisis seriously.

I'm Gregg Wallace.

Bon appetit.

# Food, glorious food

# We're anxious to try it

# Three banquets a day

# Our favourite diet

# Just picture a great big steak

# Fried, roasted or stewed

# Oh, food

# Wonderful food

# Marvellous food

# Glorious food! #

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