Original subtitles

- [Tommy] This whole producer thing?

- [James] Yeah.

- I think, I really kind of embellished it, and you know?

- [James] I mean Eric could be a little,

you know, I mean, he's-

- [Tommy] He's a little tough-

- [James] But he's creative. - He's creative.

- [James] How's the movie coming along?

You guys are deep into shooting.

- The movie's not only doing good.

- [James] Yeah.

- It's phenomenal.

- Really? - Outstanding.

- Really? - Yes, I am so proud of this.

I actually, I have a surprise for you guys.

- [James] Oh, is that what- - I have the trailer.

- [Tommy] Oh.

- So I wanted to show you guys.

- [James] Awesome.

- [Lisa] Really? - I want... Listen.

- [James] Yeah.

- I trust you guys, right?

- Of course.

- You guys wouldn't lie to me.

- [James] We totally understand, too.

Like we understand.

- No, no, but I'm saying you wouldn't lie to me.

You'd tell me if you didn't like it.

- 100 percent. - Alright.

- [Lisa] Yeah, of course. - So check this out.

This is, for the first time ever,

"Crimson Shadows."

- [Movie Narrator] 'Cause somebody is hunting the hunters

in a world where vampires hunt mobsters

and mobsters don't know what's about to hit them.

While the city sleeps, (gun firing)

vampires fight the mob. (gun firing)

The vast, dark underbelly of the city.

One man dares to defy them all.

"Crimson Shadows," it's going to be a battle

to the un-death.

- [James] Wow. - [Lisa] Wow.

I would watch the hell out of that.

- What do you guys think?

- [James] That's unbelieve-

- [Lisa] I love that. - [James] I can't believe it.

- You like it, right?

- I was afraid that I was not gonna like it.

- Yeah, you really like it? - [Lisa] So was I.

- I like, 'cause I can't lie about that stuff,

it's fucking- - [Lisa] I know.

- Seriously, it's awesome.

- I really think I'm gonna be,

not to copy Lisa or to quote Lisa,

but I think I'm gonna be the award-winning filmmaker.

- Oh! - I think you might.

- I think I got it, right? - I got it, it might happen.

- Gimme your hand.

- [James] Fuckin', dude.

(Tommy laughs)

- Listen, I gotta go to my roots sometimes.

You know what I mean?

- Look, my three hands!

- [Lisa] I gotta hand it to you.

(twangy music)

? Down the road where nobody goes ?

? There is a story only two people know ?

? Well, one eye's dead while the other lives free ?

? I'll tell you, dear, if you'll listen to me ?

? Well, one summer day, the weather was nice ?

? Two young lovers, a groom and a bride ?

? That night, they share the same bed ?

? Didn't know they would end up dead ?

(Lisa laughing)

- [James] He's the Crimson, he like shooting that movie.

- [Lisa] That movie is the best movie ever.

- Yo yo, what are you guys doing?

- You are everywhere.

- You guys caught us.

- You have Sunday...

Is it Sunday?

- I don't know. - Sunday off?

- How 'd you know I was gonna have a day off?

- You told us. - No days off.

- That's true. That's true too.

- You told them? - Yeah,

I actually told them. Like I said-

- You told them?

- Yeah, I told him to meet me by the be beach.

- [James] We had so many conversations.

I think sometimes-

- Sometimes I actually forget.

(James laughs)

Sometimes the time they get to come to my house.

- [James] We've been here before.

He likes to take people here.

- Oh really, what kind of people?

- Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

- I actually-

- I know ex-girlfriend, right? Ex-wife?

- Stacy.

- You have a good taste.

I asked him, do you wanna marry?

He said, "Uh?"

Every time he say, "Uh", that means he's not.

- [Tommy] No, no. I just got some-

- 'Cause when you're hesitant that means

either you're lying or you're not.

- No, no, no, I just got some things going on.

- What's going on?

- No, let's just, you know,

I gotta get my ducks in a row.

- [James] I imagine like, in my mind

the worst possible catastrophe and like a extinction event.

Like the dinosaurs being taken out

would be you guys getting married.

- I think there's a sadness in him.

That's a part of a attraction that I feel.

Because previous life,

I remember one lifetime I was goddess.

I feel him. I have compassion for him.

So I wanted to nourish him that give love to him.

And also I feel like he's afraid of to be like a child.

Like he, oh, I'm adult. I have to be this way.

It's society formatted him.

- [James] Yeah.

- And also there probably there's anger intensity in him.

He's not happy.

I think his parents or whatever

doesn't really give him much love.

- [James] Well, his parents are dead.

- Oh, dead. I don't know.

But I feel like there's not much love there.

- [James] There's not, there was not.

- He's alone and he might...

You know, I'm crazy.

You know, all people do crazy things.

I might do some things I cannot tell you

that people say you should not do.

I don't mind that. But just don't harm people.

Do you like to be on camera?

- No. - No.

We never, almost never are in any of our-

- [Lisa] No. We don't get into any of our shots.

- [James] Anyway, okay.

- I like life. Celebrate life.

I like everyone.

I like the world.

- [James] Yay!

- [Lisa] Yay!

(group claps)

- [Carlo] Hey Jimbo, it's Carlo. Yeah.

I sent you over a package to your house.

So I expect you to wear that next time I see you

and clean yourself up, okay!

Brush your hair. Take care.

Kiss your sister for me. Bye.

- [James] Hi Carlo. This is James Marino.

I got that package.

And listen, you had mentioned

that you could get us a interview with Victoria.

So I'm wondering if you could set that up

and in fact in exchange, I'll be happy to

tell my sister that you're thinking about her.

Okay. Bye.

- We're here.

We're gonna interview this business person. Victoria.

Hi. Thank you so much for-

- No worry. They're good people.

- Why did you do this?

- So I just have a couple questions.

Mostly I'm just curious about, I dressed for the occasion.

- [Carlo] I was about to say Jimbo, you cleaned up well.

- [James] Yeah.

- [Carlo] The hat little thrown me off.

- I just wanna fit in with the game.

- [Carlo] You do, you do.

- Okay. - You look handsome today,

you chief. - Thanks. Thanks.

So, okay, so I just have one question.

I know that he's associate of yours.

What is exactly that you do?

What is it that you do for, you know...

You seem like a very successful person

and I was curious how one makes money,

like in your field.

- In my field.

- [James] I don't even know what your field is,

but I'm just sort of, I have some idea,

but I'm not really too sure.

- Okay.

- [James] Like is it cement?

Is it, you know, cement trucks?

- I have that too.

- Oh, you do? - Yeah.

- [James] Oh, okay.

- I have an app.

- [James] Oh.

- Where you come to me

and I will get you the person that you need.

Say your pipes are broken.

I got a guy.

- [James] Right.

- Say you need concrete.

- [James] Yeah.

- Your sidewalk is busted.

I got a guy.

Say your tree fell on your house,

I got a guy.

- [James] Oh.

- Say you need a handyman.

- [James] Right?

- I got a guy.

Or a woman.

- [James] Oh. Oh, right, yeah.

- [Lisa] Girl power.

- So we kind of clean up everybody else's mess.

And all these people are under contract with me.

Isn't that correct?

- Yes, yes. Yep.

- So I loan them out to you.

- [James] You're like an agent, like an agent of-

- Little bit, yeah.

- [James] I've seen it, I've seen it.

You look very old?

- If your house burns down and it needs to be rebuilt.

- [James] Yeah.

- Sure, you'll come to me.

- [James] Convenient, it's very convenient.

- [Cameraman] Alright, James.

- Oh yes. - What's it called?

Like "Forget About It App." Forget about it.

- James. - What's the app called?

- James. - Okay, James.

The interview is now over.

[James] Okay. Okay.

- Okay.

- [James] Alright, alright.

Sorry, alright, Colin.

- I just wanna go on the record here.

I didn't set this up. He did.

- Yeah. Thank you so much for that.

Jackass!

All right, listen, I need to talk to you.

Okay, we're done over here.

- Okay. - Okay, great.

- Listen, let me talk to you for a second.

I'll give you 20K for your wife for a night.

What do you think?

- 20? That's not even a decent proposal.

- Alright.

Well, 50,000 might not seem like a lot,

but I could do better.

What do you thinking?

- I mean, wait, I thought you weren't interested.

- I know, but our grant money is running out.

Listen, you meet me in the city eight o'clock tonight.

I don't even have my watch. Look at me.

Eight o'clock tonight, honey. Punch around 25,000.

- [Lisa] Make it 250.

And who are you playing?

- [Man] I'm playing Victoria.

- [Lisa] Okay.

- He's a vampire, but they're giving me grief.

I'm not wearing any makeup, but-

- [Lisa] He's a vampire.

Where are the teeth and the eyes and-

- The teeth are kind of weird, but-

- [Lisa] Yeah, but what about the makeup?

- Well, the makeup, I got bad eyes. I said I can't do it.

So we got into a little bit of a spat about it,

but I don't know what to tell you.

- [Lisa] Oh, you better go back in.

- Alright. The comb.

- I cannot relax unless shit is painful.

- Do you see what this says? It says budget.

It doesn't say Crimson Shadow's personal ATM.

Do you know what I found in the wardrobe budget?

You needed a personal hot tub

and you tried to get it in the movie budget.

- It's not for me, it's for my daughter.

- Oh, well I'm very happy for you.

We have to pay for things.

We have to pay for the things to make the movie.

He's buying stuff that has nothing to do with it.

- I get it.

- She yells at me one more time.

- Alright, just listen guys.

Wait, wait.

Let's take a breath.

Guys, why don't we have some lunch?

You want some lunch?

Guys wanna have some lunch? - Yeah.

- [Actor 1] It's good, it's a good idea.

- Yeah. - Is a good idea.

- [Lisa] I love it.

- Let's break lunch.

We'll talk about it on the side, you and I,

tell me what's going on.

- This is not-

- [Tommy] I will take care of it.

- 18. - I will take care of it.

- This is a budget.

You wanna make a movie?

You make the movie with the budget.

- I need caviar.

- The problem fucking is,

the problem here is I can't find any hitch.

There's, I need money.

It's fucking Eric Roberts.

He's draining me dry.

- [James] Right.

- I don't even know if what he's asking

for is even fucking legitimate.

- [James] It is.

It's just the fuck it...

- Yeah. But he wants more money.

He wants to shoot extra scenes.

He's worried about stuff

that I don't even know.

He talks about hard drives post product-

I don't even know anything about that shit.

- [James] Yeah.

- And-

- [Lisa] But nothing about continuity, I'm sure.

- [James] Probably.

- I don't even know what,

I don't even know what that is.

- [James] It just means you keep everything in order.

- Anyhow, that's his job. - Yeah.

- Mine's just to fucking pay for it.

- [James] Yeah.

- But anyhow, again, I'm tapped with Victoria,

Again, the fucking crypto is gone to shit.

The NFTs, I'm white.

- So the only place I get a shooting permit

for 24 hours a day, seven days a week was Romania.

So I could shoot a 33 day shoot in 15 days, 16 maybe.

'Cause there were 24 hours a day with two crews.

Smart, huh? - Oh yeah.

- So, but the problem is we had sex scenes.

Now Romanians are weird about sex scenes.

- [Actor 2] (laughs) Who isn't?

- [Actor 1] Well.

(group laughing)

- [Actor 2] Just asking?

- Okay. Anyway, so, so...

- Yeah, whatever, you have a wife, you understand.

- You got this part because you're sexy.

- [Lisa] How are they weird?

I wanna know how they're weird.

- [Actor 1] They're weird because you're-

- I have sex-

- But anyway.

So in Romania, whenever you have a love scene on the set

to make the actor comfortable, the crew gets naked.

- [Actor 2] No, that's odd.

(crowd laughs)

- [James] I never heard of that.

Oh yeah, I heard of that.

- So we break for lunch, right?

Nobody gets dressed. They eat naked.

- [Actor 3] Laugh.

- I think it's weird. But don't say anything.

I just go with it.

And then after lunch we go back

and the only, the love scene is over,

but nobody gets dressed.

- [James] So they were naked all day?

- All day.

To be a vampire you have be a person first.

So you are a human being even though-

- Sorry, sorry one sec.

I got something for you.

(indistinct)

- It does and thank you.

Now where was I? Where was I?

- Vampire and person. - Oh yeah.

- The service that I provide

means that all of these people, they work for me.

Right?

- Uh hum.

- It's very clear. Do you understand that?

- Absolutely.

- It's very understandable. Correct, correct?

Like, you're not gonna go do a job

if somebody else calls you.

- [Carlo] What if I do.

- It's exclusive. Very exclusive.

So you work for me.

If I ask you to do something, you get paid. Correct?

I pay you, you do the job. You're exclusive to me.

That's how my app works.

Now there's this thing, this rumor that I heard,

but I know it's true that you kind of like

went out on a limb.

We'll call it the dark web. I took a job from somebody else.

This couldn't possibly be true, could it?

Because in my world, you can't really do any

of these jobs unless you have fucking hands.

Because if you would do something like this, you see,

I'd have to cut off your fucking hands.

So you would never go on the dark web and take a job, now,

would you Tommy?

- Yes. I took a job on the dark web, but-

- My Tommy took a job on the dark web.

- In all defense, I'm not making any money.

You don't pay me. So I have to.

- That's because I own you.

- Correct. And I get that and I respect that.

- Mm-hm.

- But I still have to eat and survive.

So if I'm working exclusively for you.

- Right?

- And you don't give me any money.

- Uh-huh.

- I have to do side jobs

to put food on my table to survive.

So I-

- No, that's not how it works.

But now you can't do any more side jobs

because you're not gonna have any hands.

Now what are you gonna do?

- I get you're upset. I do.

- Oh, I'm not upset. This isn't upset.

This is me very calm, understanding.

I'm trying to put a point across,

that if this ever happens again, that's where I start.

- If I may, if you don't mind.

- Oh. - If I may.

- I don't mind at all.

I love hearing your logic to all this.

- I'm the best at what I do.

There's nobody, you know, in the Tri State area-

- I have a whole fucking crew.

- [Man] No, I got it, I got it, I got it.

- What do you think? I can't replace you?

- [Tommy] No, no.

- You are like a fucking BIC lighter. Okay?

You're disposable. Don't you get that?

- [Tommy] But I don't-

- I, I, I, I, what don't you understand, dear?

- I don't understand how I took out your number one rival.

- Right?

- And I have less clout than I did before I took her out.

Before when I was working with Vanessa.

- What do you think that is what's gonna give you clout?

- I would- - That wasn't to

give you clout.

That was to give me power.

Not you.

You work for me.

I don't understand what you don't understand.

Are you like,

did they take a piece of your brain or something?

- No, no, no. - I mean, I'm just not.

Do you get this?

I'm not following him.

- Nikki, you gotta help. You gotta-

- What am I not following here?

- You gotta help me out here, Vic.

- Does he make up his own set of rules?

- No, no. I understand your point.

- And what? Am I wrong, Nikki?

- No, he works for you, yes, but he's gotta eat so-

- [Woman] Well go fucking make him something.

- [Carlo] He's been looking like he's eating plenty.

- Yeah, you certainly don't look like

you're on fucking Weight Watchers.

- Listen, I have to do anything you ask of me, anything.

- Right?

- I don't even ask questions. It gets done.

So I don't see the discrepancy

if everything is done on your behalf,

on me helping you or working for you.

- Okay.

- That if I can take something else on the side.

I don't-

- You could take something else on the side,

but from me, not from somebody else.

If you are in trouble, you come to me.

I'll make arrangements.

You don't go elsewhere.

- [James] Yeah.

- You know, I have an opportunity,

as you guys know, to pull a fucking plug on an old woman.

- [James] Yeah.

- Which I don't want to do.

I don't wanna fucking kill a twin

you know, just 'cause he's less successful.

- [James] Right.

- And I certainly don't want to kill a fucking dog.

- Yeah, that's right. - You know what I mean?

So, I mean, what it's calmed down.

- [James] Okay, well then I have a proposal

and I don't really want to like,

maybe it shouldn't be on camera,

but I'll do it anyway because I might as well.

But it's kind of unethical.

Like if you want us to help you-

- [Lisa] James?

- [James] Well, hold on. No, no, I'm serious.

Because like, we're totally like,

we have no money from the grants, right?

So we're kind of this short of money too.

So if you want, I mean, I'm willing like, you know, I mean,

I kind of feel like I know you at this point

and like certain points, you know,

sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

If you want us to help.

Like, if you have any like, ideas.

- Right?

- [James] About like, I don't know, taking something.

- Right.

- [James] I don't know, is that a thing?

- [Lisa] James, you can't get involved like that.

- [James] Why not? Yeah, sure we can.

So I don't know like-

- Lisa, listen to him.

Maybe he's has, maybe we could do something

where we can all benefit.

- [James] I don't know. Like we're part of the world now.

I don't know.

I mean like, maybe it's an experience

that we need to have at some point.

Like, I'd like to, maybe, is there-

- I mean, you already helped me with a body come.

You know. - Right. I did that last year.

- [Lisa] But that blurs the line.

- [James] It feels very gonzo.

- [Lisa] It blurs the line between-

- Well you can film us. - Maybe.

- [Lisa] Journalism, - I'll do it

and he can film.

- Maybe this will make you win the award.

'Cause you guys were actually part of it.

- [James] I don't know, like, I'm just saying

desperate times, you know.

- Well, you mentioned that that idiot

that was friendly with a squid, right?

- [James] That's Yeah.

- And the squid got eaten

and you didn't do anything to save him.

- [Lisa] No.

- So imagine I got eaten

and you guys did nothing to fucking save me.

- [James] Well we would obviously I-

- So I'm so at least I'm the squid in this.

- [James] Yeah. But also like, we could benefit from it.

- And you could benefit.

Well the squid would've benefited too.

He wouldn't have got eaten.

- [James] Exactly.

- So think about me as I'm actually your squid.

- [James] So you think you got-

- I might have a couple ideas.

- [James] That could be a new experience.

I don't know. Like just go on a heist.

I don't see anything in here man.

- [Tommy] It's right here.

- [James] I don't see it.

- [Tommy] It's right here, bro.

- [James] It's is what these boxes?

- [Tommy] Yeah.

- [James] These boxes?

- [Tommy] Yeah.

- [James] Alright.

- [Tommy] You're loud man.

- [James] I'm just trying to find the boxes.

- [Tommy] No, I understand. They're right here.

- [James] So these are the boxes?

- [Tommy] These are the boxes.

- [James] I can't see a goddamn thing in here. All right.

- [Tommy] They're here.

- [James] Alright, I'm gonna put down the sound.

You got the sound of me putting down the sound.

- [Tommy] Okay. All right, let's go.

- [James] Okay, so please hold.

This is super cold.

Okay, so I put the sound down.

Let's go. I got it, kind of.

- [Tommy] Just be quiet.

- [James] What the-

- [Tommy] No, it's heavy.

- It's heavy. - It's actually not heavy.

Oh, well hold on.

Just put it down because my back is-

- [Tommy] Alright, all right, relax.

- So listen guy, guys - What do we have?

- Two minutes, we're outta here, alright?

- [James] So is it under the yarn?

- It is the yarn.

- What are you talking about?

- We heisted the yarn.

- Dude, I don't understand like,

like we get this in the goodwill, dude.

Like it's like 10 bucks a like 2 cents a yarn.

- Yeah. $300 a yarn.

- [Bystander] What? Really?

- [James] So what is that? Is that a-

- And there's 2000 yarn. Do the math.

Anybody, can anybody do the math?

- Wait, that's like $600,000.

- [Lisa] You know our cousin does weaving,

and she spends lots of money.

- Lisa?

- $600,000?

- This is $600,000 heist right now.

- [Lisa] Okay. But I believe-

- Holy shit, I thought we were gonna make diamonds

or something like that.

- No, these are better than diamonds.

- You can move these things.

- I can move these things

and no one's gonna care that they lost yarn.

- Yarn.

- Yeah, if you call the cops

and say somebody heisted my yarn,

you think they're gonna give a shit?

- I guess they'll do like I did.

They won't even care.

They'll be like, "What's the big deal?"

- Exactly, what they gonna say?

Exactly what you're saying.

- So what kind of yarn is like, so this is like literal-

- 4,000 a roll.

- Who's buying $600,000 of yarn?

- Apparently some idiots buying this shit.

Yeah, because it's $300 a row.

- That's amazing. - I believe it.

Our cousin does bespoke weaving.

- Oh, good all these-

- [Tommy] I guess you can like make high end furniture

with it and stuff.

- You sell it at a rebate

and end up getting like $400,000.

- Usually if it's cash.

- And I'll tell you what. - Yeah.

- Alpaca.

- You could say your first heist ever.

- Yeah.

- You stole some yarn.

- It's the yarn heist.

- Where's the wrong in that?

- [Tommy] Right? And nobody gives a shit.

- It's a victimless crime.

? Do you ever feel alone in a crowded room ?

? Alcohol on my breath, better put on a little perfume ?

? I'm out looking for a man ?

? Who makes me feel like you used to a long time ago ?

? But you're out in the street instead of home next to me ?

? Planting seeds where nothing will grow ?

? So pick your poison ?

? Why don't you drink it down ?

? Don't you feel better now ?

? Able to face the crowd ?

? Pick your poison, come on give into sin ?

? Maybe if you just sniff one more line ?

? Then you'll feel home again ?

? Take me home ?

? Walk of shame four A.M ?

? Oh man, it's cold ?

? Knees are weak I need a drink this is getting old ?

? I used to hold your hand ?

? And now I hold this battle so close to my eye ?

? Use all these strange men just to feel whole again ?

? But you said that we'd never part ?

? So pick your poison ?

? Why don't you come on down ?

? To the local girl in town just to see who's around ?

? Pick your poison ?

? Misery loves company ?

? But the drugs just ain't as fun as they used to be ?

? We out here getting high ?

? I couldn't feel so low ?

? I need a little powder for my nose ?

? I've been empty for years just trying ?

? To fill the void where we both used to live ?

? And I drink every night just to try to forget ?

? But I know that I'll never forgive ?

? So pick your poison ?

? Let it drag you down six feet underground ?

? Never make your mama proud ?

? Pick your poison ?

? Come on you're into deep ?

? Oh them demons in your head they got you losing sleep ?

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