Original subtitles

What about this guy?

I don't know. He looks a little old.

Aren't you like 200?

I am 175.

How dare you?

What's going on? Trevor helped Hedy set up an online dating profile to secure a

companion for St. Patrick's Day, when if precedent holds, he shall be visible to

the living.

And I would like to spend that time bewitching and ultimately frustrating a

suitor. So these are all your matches?

Kind of slim picking.

Well, we are limited by the fact that Hedy's profile picture is an oil

and she has some pretty strict conditions.

Seeking upper -class gentleman for one day of civilized conversation.

Location not negotiable. Yeah, I see how that can be limiting.

Oh, it's after midnight.

Oh, am I visible?

You're always visible to us. Right.

I have an idea.

Jay!

Jay?

Jay!

Yes. What the hell?

Oh, it's fine. You've just seen a ghost. Go back to bed.

You guys are never going to guess who's on the reservation list for tonight at

Mahesh.

Cindy Cole. The highly regarded event planner?

the cover of the November issue of Hudson Living.

Oh, that name is so offensive to the dead community.

Why not just Hudson People?

Babe, this is huge.

Uh, yeah, if she likes the restaurant, it opens us up to a whole bunch of new

business. We're talking wedding ceremonies, corporate events.

Sounds like we really gotta be on our A -game tonight. I'm gonna take a quick

nap before dinner service.

How do you feel about Life Magazine?

Uh, I don't love it.

Hey, I'm a little bit worried about Bela. Have you noticed that she's been

sleeping a lot lately?

Yeah. That is concerning.

Ever since her and Eric broke up, she seems okay, but the napping is weird.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Hey, Kyle.

Wait, what is Kyle doing here? Okay, I didn't want to tell you guys because I

know you get upset, but I have to go out of town again for my friend's baby

shower. And Kyle's going to ghost at us while you're gone? Oh, hell yes!

Kyle! Kyle!

Kyle! Kyle!

How are the ghosts taking it?

Pretty well. I think just sometimes somebody different... You don't have to

it better.

I let them stay up late to watch TV.

Just stop.

Guile! Guile!

Guile! And here we have an amuse -bouche, courtesy of Chef Jay. Oh, well,

that thoughtful?

Got it. Tommy Frank Accus, Party of Four. We'll see you on Friday.

Hey, looks like it's going well, right? The event planner lady seems to be

enjoying herself.

Jay, relax.

She's having a great time.

Jeff is on it. Who's Jeff?

New server.

Poached from a nearby fine dining establishment.

The best in the business.

Hetty Woodstone, party of two.

What are you doing?

Oh, that's right. It's St.

Patrick's Day. This is wild.

Great fit, Hetty. Why, thank you.

Has my date arrived yet? You're the first from your party to arrive.

Okay.

No. You are not going on a date at my restaurant on the same night that the

Cindy Cole is here. What if someone walks through you or something? People

freak out. Jay, I am visible for one day only.

Now, you can either let me have my rightful seat, or I will go and stick my

hands through Cindy Cole's head.

Okay, fine. Put her at table nine.

Good for you, Hattie.

Hey, so, uh, weird question. Do you have any smelt?

The fish?

Thor wanted to smell smelt so that he could say he smelt smelt, and then I

laughed and he said, no, I'm serious, so now here I am. You're so funny, Kyle.

I don't think we have any smelt, but you could check the walk -in. Great, thank

you. So everything seems under control with dinner service, so I might just

back to the house and take a quick 20 -minute power nap.

Well, you know, Bela, I was just thinking, you're single.

And Kyle is single.

Okay, this is interesting.

And, you know, it's hard for him to date because women find his whole see -and

-go thing weird. If Kyle marries Bailey, he might move in, and we'd have a back

-up butler. Okay, the truth is, I'm sort of seeing someone.

You are?

Why didn't you tell me?

It's the foppies. Oh, come on. I mean, we hooked up in my dream that one time,

and we thought that was going to be it. But then things...

That's why she's napping all the time.

Honestly, I am relieved.

I thought she'd come down with fabricula. I was going to send Samantha

legion. This is insane.

Where is this possibly going?

I don't know. We haven't really talked about that.

Look, I got to go. I'm supposed to meet him in Paris in 15 minutes.

You can control where you dream?

I'm getting really good at it. I read an article.

Okay, just checking in, seeing how everyone's enjoying everything.

Oh, well, we're liking the pakoras, but we're loving the Jeff.

Stop, please.

Right after you call my mother and repeat every word.

Oh, he truly is the best.

Well, let me know if you need anything else.

Oh, with Jeff in our corner, we haven't a care in the world.

Oh, poor Hetty.

It appears her suitor has still not arrived.

Hello, ma 'am.

I noticed you're still waiting for the rest of your party.

Did you?

Did you notice that, Jeffrey?

Sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted to order something while you

appetizer, maybe.

Oh, you think I'll be waiting here a while so you might as well run up the

on the stood -up lady?

I was going to tip you a nickel. No longer.

I really didn't mean to touch a nerve. And now I'm hysterical.

Well, you might as well just ship me off to Michigan, Jeffrey.

Who made you a relationship expert anyway? I don't see a ring on that

That's because my husband left me last week for the dog walker.

Oh, I didn't know. I can't do this. I know it's too soon to come back to work.

I'm sorry, Jay. I have to go.

It's a mean lady.

Hedy.

What the hell, Hedy? Jeff was by far our best waiter, and Cindy was loving him.

I do not understand what the big problem is. Don't you have some other urchin

that can just fill in?

It's not that easy, Hedy. Jeff's not some high school kid. He's a career

Please, a monkey could do that job. Quite literally. We once had a capuchin

serve cocktails at a garden party.

You only think it seems easy because you've never had an actual job.

What's going on? We heard Jeff quit?

We're down to one server. Brian was a no -show.

Where's Bela?

Could she hop in?

I guess I could go get her, but she's kind of taking care of some business

at the house. Pretty generous way to describe a sick nap, Jay.

Who's that lady standing at Cindy Cole's table?

Hello, my name is Hetty. Jeffrey wasn't feeling well, so I shall be filling in

for the evening.

What the hell is she doing? Oh, no.

What happened to him?

He got a consumption.

It happens.

Look at this schlemiel.

Powerless to turn on the TV, just waiting for the finger to arrive.

I've asked you multiple times not to call yourself that.

And I'm just waiting for Bela to fall asleep.

Why?

Because we're sort of dating.

Yeah, we had plans to hang out in her dream, but she had an afternoon coffee,

and now she's just tossing and turning.

You dirty dog.

How's it going?

Honestly,

I know it's crazy because we're on different planes of existence, but I'm

into her.

Who am I to judge crazy?

I hooked up with a Puritan and a Hebrew and butter -churning bit of lust.

We were all on our own journeys.

Yeah. It's only been a couple weeks.

Um, do you think it's too soon to ask Bela to be my girlfriend?

What? Yes.

You always come on way too strong. And then they ditch you.

Or leave you for roast beef.

It wasn't just roast beef. It was also the call of the open road.

But your point is taken. I hear you. Trust me.

The less interested you seem in her, the more interested she'll be in you. I

know it sounds crazy, but it works.

Huh.

How's the lamp vendor loop prepared?

Excellent question.

Big hooker. Uh, Eddie, can I please speak with you?

Excuse us for one moment.

You cannot wait tables at the restaurant. Number one, you are a ghost.

know what? I'm going to rest my case right there. Jay, relax.

You need me.

Your remaining server, Michael, is a bona fide idiot.

And that aside, you are looking to impress the upper crust. Who better than

of their own to help you do that? You need to put your best foot forward. And

tonight, my friend, I am that foot.

Okay, but just don't screw this up. I got ghosts waiting tables, ghosts

up with my sister.

So sorry about that. Now, what would you like for your first course?

Ah, well, let's see. We'll have the samosa flight, the dahi puré, but only

the shells are made with semolina, not wheat.

Semolina, yes.

Oh, can we get that without chickpeas?

Of course.

Do you want to write any of this down?

Nope. It's all right up here.

Well, what did they order? Absolutely no idea.

It just all came so fast and then they wanted modifications and don't even get

me started on Duncan's allergies.

Yeah, honestly, Duncan probably shouldn't be leaving his home. It's a

bubble boy situation.

How did you get this job? Weren't you a customer like 30 minutes ago?

I am sort of a distant relative of Samantha's.

I am her great, great, great, wonderful aunt.

Hey, that Cindy lady seems like she's getting a little impatient out there.

Oh, this is a disaster.

I thought waiting tables would be easy, but ooh, it is not.

As much as it pains me to admit it, Jay, you were right. This is beyond my

female abilities.

Oh, that was not my exact wording. And I am so sorry to let you all down.

Come on, Hattie. You're being too hard on yourself.

Yeah, come on. You can do this. You just... You need a little help.

Really? We'll coach you up. There's little tricks to remember orders.

Mnemonic devices.

You're not going to be like Jeff in one night.

But we're going to get you through the shift.

Why are you all being so nice to me?

Because a restaurant is a team.

And we got your back.

Me on a team?

Like a regular common woman.

Nothing common about you.

Hi, I'm Neil.

Do you like ice cream?

Sorry, it's not Paris like we planned.

When I was reading about lucid dreaming, I saw a pop -up ad for glamping, and

here we are.

Oh, that's sort of Parisian.

Creepy, but Parisian.

Okay, can we, like, get some space, too?

That's better.

So... I know this is not the most conventional relationship, but where do

this going?

Like, you and me?

Uh, I don't know.

I'm cool.

Whatevs. Okay.

But if you had to, like, put a label on it, what would you say we are?

Oh, you know, labels aren't really my thing.

You know, I thought we'd keep it cash.

I see.

Alugobi, three basmati, chicken tikka, and two orders of garlic naan. Can you

actually make that three orders and light cheese on the sock paneer? No,

impossible. That was the most complicated order I've ever heard. My

always tandoori chicken, side of basmati rice, extra yogurt. Pete, what are you

doing? What?

I will put your order right in.

Well?

I told you the song thing. It works. Yes, and I did it all without cocaine.

All right. Well, you might be a restaurant worker after all.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just...

touch. When I was alive, watch the past dance.

Which I still am. Like all of you, my life is ongoing and I am living it. Nice

save. Anyway, it's thanks to all of you that I feel this sense of purpose and

what pride and menial labor that I never knew.

And it feels good.

Oh, look who's back.

Jeff to save the day. He now makes way more than I do. Welcome back, Jeff.

What is that lady doing here?

Oh, well, she felt bad about what happened before, so she's been filling

now that you're back, we don't need her anymore.

Oh, really? I can stay if you need.

Nope, you are no longer necessary.

You're off the hook.

I see.

Okay, Jeff, let's get you out there. Cindy's going to be so happy to see you.

Hey, Kyle.

What are you up to?

Oh, hey, Bela. Just, uh...

Making my famous guacamole for Nancy.

You have to cut the shallots so fine they almost disappear.

Less talky, more guaky. All right.

There you go.

Oh, we meet again, my little green friend.

So, Kyle, earlier today, Jay had this kind of crazy idea.

He thought you and I should go out.

I mean, that actually makes a lot of sense.

It does?

Yeah. I mean, we get along.

And most of my dating problems stem from my freakish ability to interact with

the dead. But you already know about the ghost stuff.

Yeah, and it doesn't bother me.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Ask her out, you big weenie. I'm not a weenie.

Sorry, no.

What I meant to say is, would you like to get a drink with me tonight?

Yeah, I'd really like that.

Now how about you two slather yourselves up in some guacamole and start making

out? I'm just gonna watch.

There you are.

We wanted to see how you were doing.

I'm fine.

You're not upset about being replaced by Jeff?

You think I'm upset about not being required to do menial labor?

Well...

You're right. Well, stop sitting around here wasting your last hours of

visibility and go get your job back.

But you heard what Jay said. I'm no longer necessary.

Oh, I also heard Jay tell Sam they were going to watch The Mandalorian last

week. And what did they watch?

13 Going on 30.

Again. Was it creepy that Ruffalo was dating a 13 -year -old? Sure.

But an 11 -year -old Tom Hanks slept with Elizabeth Perkins in Big.

The point is, body switching is ethically complicated.

Peter, maybe stand down for this conversation.

You just need to be firm with Jay and tell him how important this is to you.

What's the point of being visible if you're not going to be seen?

What does that mean exactly?

I don't know, but I saw it on Emma Watson's Instagram.

So she tells me to drop my pants and cough, and then like two seconds later,

real doctor walks in, and suddenly I have to explain why I'm waiting for her

half naked.

Who was the ghost?

That's so funny.

You know, I'm actually really enjoying this.

It's such a relief to be able to talk about my power openly.

Hey, Kyle, I heard you were on a date with Bela, but the thing is, you know,

we've been dating, and I really want to win her back, so I was wondering if you

can translate for me.

I'm sorry?

What's happening?

Uh, Seth is here, and he says that you two were dating.

He used the word dating?

Because I thought it was more of a casual thing.

No, I just listened to some stupid advice from Trevor. But the truth is, I

really like you.

And I do want to give us a real try.

Please, relay.

We're kind of in the middle of... What's he saying, Kyle?

He's saying he followed some bad advice from Trevor, but he doesn't want it to

be casual.

And you don't need to settle for this guy you clearly don't care about just to

make me jealous.

Please, relay. I don't really want to say that. Say it. Say it.

Fine. Bela, you don't need to settle for me.

So you really want to give this a shot, Zass?

More than anything.

And Kyle, make sure to get the passion in my voice right.

He says more than anything.

Terrible.

Thank God Red makes me sleepy.

Zass, I'll see you in my room in ten.

And Kyle, feel free to use my employee discount on the bill.

Aw.

I'm sorry, Kyle.

But you know that Hedy is single, right? Just go. Yep.

Bested by a guy with no physical form.

That's a first.

Go ahead. Go get your job back.

Jay, we need to speak.

I'm a little bit busy. We're in the middle of dinner service. I would like

opportunity to finish my shift.

You see, Jay, I started this day thinking very little of service workers.

But I've gone on a journey, and I've discovered that there is dignity in hard

work. And by widely held belief, waiting tables is not something that can be

done by an actual monkey.

Oh, she said it. That's gross. I appreciate that, Hedy. And I'm glad that

went on that journey, but Jeff is back, and there's too much on the line. I'm

sorry.

I see.

Amanda, how's that paneer coming?

Amanda?

Sorry, Chef.

If Hedy's not working tonight, then I'm not working tonight either.

What?

For Hedy.

Seriously?

Me too, Chef.

For Hedy. Oh my God, Jay is getting rooted.

For Hedy.

For Hedy.

Wait, who's Hedy?

She's Hedy.

For Hedy!

Okay.

Fine.

Jeff?

You're benched.

What does that mean? Is that some sort of sports thing?

There's one rule I live my life by that you don't want to get caught on the

wrong side of a Rudy.

Hedy, get back out there.

I'm so happy to have you back. Get away from me. Don't touch me. And thank

you, one and all.

Whew, here's to another great night at Mahesh. That event planner had an

time. I think we have some business heading our way.

Thanks to Hetty.

Thanks to Hetty. Yeah, to Hetty. Oh, this is like when I got into the cult on

the first try. How is it like that?

You know, it's just a situation where a group of people really, really liked

someone.

You wouldn't understand.

Who wants to take this party to a second location?

Never go to a second location with Neil. What's happening?

We sometimes go to the quarry after work. It's this little dive bar.

So, you coming?

I would love to.

I can't just!

Where did he go?

Oh, I think I just saw her run out. She must have been tired.

Well, okay.

Thanks for the Irish goodbye.

How dare you?

Cobra, you're better than that.

That was insane.

She didn't run out. She just, like, poofed away.

Okay, Gabe. How high are you?

Oh, yeah.

I'm pretty high.

I gotta come back.