All language subtitles for Get Smart S05E12 Is This Trip Necessary.DVDRip.HI.cc.en.HBO

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:21,331 DO YOU HEAR ANYTHING YET? 2 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,734 YES, I'M... I'M BEGINNING TO CATCH SOMETHING, 3 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,736 (German accent) BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MAKE ANY SENSE. 4 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,527 - LET ME HAVE IT. - (receiver whines) 5 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,444 "TIPTOE THROUGH THE TULIPS"? 6 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,546 YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE RADIO! 7 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:40,050 THAT WOMAN HAS THE WORST VOICE I EVER HEARD. 8 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:46,489 - YES, BUT SHE PLAYS A GREAT BANJO. - (receiver tunes) 9 00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:48,091 - AH! - (babies crying) 10 00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,448 (babies crying) 11 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,463 - MAX... - HUH? 12 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,732 - THE BABIES ARE AWAKE. - SO ARE WE, 99. 13 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,568 YEAH, BUT THEY'RE CRYING. 14 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,904 I'LL BE CRYING PRETTY SOON IF THEY DON'T SHUT UP. 15 00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:04,740 MAX, IT'S YOUR TURN TO GET UP AND SEE WHAT'S THE MATTER. 16 00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:06,809 (louder crying) 17 00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:09,167 OKAY, 99. 18 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,249 (psychedelic music plays) 19 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:16,208 (whoo-woos) 20 00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:48,451 SO THE DRUG IS WORKING. 21 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:51,476 THEY ARE COMPLETELY HALLUCINATED. 22 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,867 (crying) 23 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,202 THAT'S A GOOD BABY. 24 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:10,028 GO TO SLEEP AND TOMORROW DADDY WILL LET YOU PLAY IN THE SWAMP. 25 00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:13,732 (burps) 26 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:34,097 - ARE THEY ALL RIGHT, MAX? - YES, THEY'RE ALL FINE, 99. 27 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:37,522 - WERE THEY WET? - WELL, ONE OF THEM WAS TEETHING. 28 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,738 KAOS WILL BE VERY PROUD OF YOU, MR. PYM. 29 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,806 YEAH. WELL, THANK YOU, RHINEHART. 30 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,875 I'M RATHER PROUD OF MYSELF. (chuckles) 31 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:49,078 I DO THINK THIS IS ONE OF MY BETTER FORMULAS. 32 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,380 REALLY, SIR? WHY DO YOU THINK THAT? 33 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:53,750 BECAUSE NONE OF THE OTHERS WORKED. 34 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:56,986 - YOU LEFT THE LIGHT ON. - HUH? HUH? 35 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,122 - WHAT? WHAT LIGHT? - THE LIGHT YOU LEFT ON. 36 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:02,992 - YOU LEFT IT ON. - OH, THAT LIGHT. 37 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,529 - MMM... - (grunts softly) 38 00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:10,900 99, LOOK. I FORGOT TO TAKE OFF ONE OF MY SNOW SHOES. 39 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:14,838 MAX, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 40 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,640 MAX! LOOK AT YOU! 41 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:21,132 WELL YOU DON'T LOOK TOO GOOD WHEN YOU FIRST GET UP, EITHER. 42 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,405 (theme music playing) 43 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,684 OUT LATE LAST NIGHT, CHIEF? 44 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:38,087 UP LATE LAST NIGHT, MAX. I HAD THE DARNDEST NIGHTMARE. 45 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,957 I DREAMED I HAD LONG GOLDEN CURLS 46 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,493 AND I WAS PLAYING BILLIARDS WITH GEORGE WASHINGTON 47 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:47,263 AND HE WAS CHEATING. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT, GEORGE WASHINGTON CHEATING? 48 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,432 WHY NOT? HE CLAIMED HE WOULD NEVER TELL A LIE. 49 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,334 HE NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT CHEATING. 50 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,603 MAX AND I HAD BAD DREAMS LAST NIGHT TOO, CHIEF. 51 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,939 IT'S A WEIRD COINCIDENCE. 52 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,762 NOT REALLY, CHIEF. WE BOTH ATE PIZZA. 53 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,511 CHIEF, THE REPORT ON KAOS JUST CAME THROUGH OUR SPY SATELLITE. 54 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:04,781 - ARE YOU SURE IT'S UP TO DATE? - POSITIVE. 55 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,584 THE WEATHER MAP SAYS IT'S GONNA BE CLEAR AND WARMER. 56 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,586 IT ALSO SAYS THAT KAOS TRIED TO TAKE OVER 57 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:12,355 - ALL THE UNIVERSITIES IN THE UNITED STATES. - THEY DID? 58 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:15,491 YEAH. THEY OFFERED THE STUDENTS ENOUGH GUNS TO TAKE OVER EVERY SCHOOL IN THE COUNTRY, 59 00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,026 - BUT IT DIDN'T WORK. - WHY NOT? 60 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,962 THE STUDENTS SAID THEY WOULDN'T SETTLE FOR TOKENISM 61 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,396 AND THEY RAN THEM OFF CAMPUS. 62 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,965 CHIEF, DID I HEAR YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT A NIGHTMARE? 63 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,101 - WHAT ABOUT IT? - I DREAMED LAST NIGHT I'D KEEP TRYING 64 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,337 TO FIND A POT AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW. AND I FINALLY FOUND IT. 65 00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,805 WAS THE POT FILLED WITH GOLD? 66 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,208 NO, WITH REFRIED BEANS. 67 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,510 IF IT WAS FILLED WITH GOLD, I WOULDN'T HAVE COME TO WORK TODAY. 68 00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,379 ALL RIGHT, LARRABEE, THANK YOU. 69 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:39,181 - FOR WHAT? - FOR THE REPORT, FOR EVERYTHING. 70 00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,684 OH, THAT'S OKAY, CHIEF. 71 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,353 WELL, LARRABEE? 72 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:46,156 UH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, CHIEF. YOU'VE GOT A CALL WAITING. 73 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,085 ANYTHING IMPORTANT? 74 00:05:47,109 --> 00:05:49,100 I WOULDN'T KNOW. IT'S FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. 75 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:54,130 HELLO? YES, I CAN HOLD ON. 76 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,432 IT'S THE PRESIDENT. 77 00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,390 YES, MR. PRESIDENT. 78 00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:01,904 YOU DID? WELL, 79 00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:04,648 THAT'S FUNNY, SO DID I AND TWO OF MY AGENTS. 80 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:08,032 YES SIR, THAT IS RATHER STRANGE. 81 00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,647 YES SIR, I WILL. 82 00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:15,284 I'LL GET ON IT RIGHT AWAY, MR. PRESIDENT. 83 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,586 THE PRESIDENT HAD A BAD DREAM LAST NIGHT TOO. 84 00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:20,723 HE DREAMED THAT HE DISBANDED THE ENTIRE U.S. AIR FORCE 85 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,758 AND REPLACED THEM WITH THE JEFFERSON AIRPLANE. 86 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:24,093 THAT IS TERRIBLE. 87 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,962 OH, NO, WHAT'S TERRIBLE IS THAT THIS MORNING 88 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,863 THE JEFFERSON AIRPLANE REPORTED FOR WORK. 89 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:31,934 CHIEF, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY ARE WE ALL HAVING STRANGE DREAMS? 90 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,269 IT'S GOTTEN OUT OF HAND, 99. THE PRESIDENT SAID 91 00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,406 ALL MEMBERS OF CONGRESS AND THE PENTAGON HAD BAD DREAMS LAST NIGHT. 92 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,909 BOY, SOMEBODY IS DOING GREAT PIZZA BUSINESS. 93 00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,078 - (intercom buzzes) - WHAT IS IT, LARRABEE? 94 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,247 - How did you know it was me, Chief? - NEVER MIND THAT, LARRABEE. 95 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:47,183 - WHAT ARE YOU BUZZING ME FOR? - The CIA and FBI just called. 96 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:50,419 - They want you to tune on TV Channel 51. - (presses button) 97 00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:53,283 CHANNEL 51... THAT'S THE EDUCATIONAL SPY CHANNEL. 98 00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,814 MAYBE THIS WILL EXPLAIN WHY ALL OUR GOVERNMENT 99 00:06:59,838 --> 00:07:01,419 OFFICIALS ARE HAVING STRANGE DREAMS. 100 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,467 Oh, hello, out there. 101 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:09,438 I'm Jarvis Pym, KAOS'S mad pharmacist. 102 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:12,075 KAOS'S MAD PHARMACIST? 103 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,911 Yes, that's right, I thought some of you might be wondering 104 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,114 about all those strange dreams that everybody is having. 105 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,817 Well, they're not dreams. They're hallucinations 106 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,519 caused by a miracle drug that I have discovered. 107 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:26,155 Now I think I should point out 108 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,824 that all of you have had a very mild dose. 109 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:31,361 Had it been full strength, 110 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,262 you would have the dreams permanently, 111 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,198 never to be able to differentiate 112 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,968 between reality and fantasy. 113 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,937 NOW, YOU CAN IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD DO TO YOUR GOVERNMENT. 114 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:46,575 EVERY HIGH-RANKING OFFICIAL, EXCLUDING NO ONE, 115 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:49,979 WOULD BE REDUCED TO A RAVING LUNATIC. (chuckles) 116 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,936 (feedback) 117 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:56,952 NOW LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. 118 00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:00,222 UNLESS I RECEIVE $50,000,000 119 00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:03,259 in unmarked bills, I will carry this plan 120 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,294 to its utmost fruition. 121 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,064 I WILL CONTACT YOU ON THIS SAME CHANNEL 122 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,667 LATER TONIGHT, DIRECTLY AFTER "LET US PRAY," 123 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,469 AND TELL YOU WHERE TO DELIVER THE $50,000,000. 124 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,505 WELL, GOOD NIGHT. 125 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,194 - PSST. - HUH? 126 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,944 Oh, yes... I must warn you: 127 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,780 do not try to locate or stop me. 128 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:27,650 If you do, I swear I will wipe out your government. 129 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:31,020 And now for all of you having a splitting headache, 130 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:34,524 take two aspirins and go to bed. 131 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,526 (jubilant music plays) 132 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,850 Pleasant dreams. Humph. 133 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,867 THAT MAN IS OUT OF HIS HEAD. 134 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,736 YES, BUT WHAT A DIABOLICALLY CLEVER PLAN! 135 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,207 YEAH, BUT LIKE ALL DIABOLICALLY CLEVER GENIUSES, 136 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,443 - HE MADE ONE MISTAKE! - REALLY? WHAT MISTAKE IS THAT, MAX? 137 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,814 HE PRESCRIBED MEDICINE FOR OUR HEADACHES AND HE'S NOT A DOCTOR. 138 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:01,673 WE CAN GET HIM FOR PRACTICING MEDICINE WITHOUT A LICENSE. 139 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,457 WELL, THAT DOES IT. OUR SCIENTISTS HAVE CHECKED OUT EVERYTHING... 140 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,093 FOOD, AIR FILTRATION, DUST, POLLEN. 141 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,762 WE STILL DON'T KNOW HOW THE MAD PHARMACIST SLIPPED THE DRUG TO US. 142 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,365 WELL, WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE HE DID, CHIEF? 143 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,468 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT MAKES ME SO SURE HE DID? 144 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,905 I'LL ASK YOU... WHAT MAKES HIM SO SURE HE DID? 145 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,640 WELL, MAX, FOR ALL OF US AT CONTROL TO HAVE HAD BAD DREAMS, 146 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,876 WE MUST'VE BEEN CONTACTED IN THE SAME WAY. 147 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,511 FOR INSTANCE, THE WATER SUPPLY. 148 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,680 OF COURSE, THE WATER SUPPLY. 149 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,182 NO, MAX, IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN THE WATER SUPPLY. 150 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,617 IF IT WAS, EVERYONE IN WASHINGTON WOULD'VE BEEN AFFECTED. 151 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:38,855 WELL, I GUESS JARVIS PYM WILL GET HIS $50,000,000. 152 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,858 BUT THAT'S BLACKMAIL. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PAY OFF A BLACKMAILER? 153 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,593 - HE GIVES YOU A RECEIPT? - NO, HE COMES BACK THE NEXT DAY 154 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,430 AND ASKS FOR MORE MONEY. BESIDES, WE HAVE NO GUARANTEE 155 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:50,132 THAT IF WE PAY THE 50 MILLION, PYM WILL DESTROY THE DRUG. 156 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,934 YES WE DO, IF HE GIVES US A RECEIPT. 157 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:55,004 I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING... PYM WON'T GET US AGAIN. 158 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,039 CONTROL IS COMPLETELY SEALED OFF. 159 00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:59,375 I WANT YOU TWO TO STAY HERE AND MAKE SURE EVERYTHING CHECKS OUT. 160 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,143 MEET ME IN MY OFFICE IN FIVE MINUTES. 161 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,713 RIGHT, CHIEF. 162 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:07,083 I WOULDN'T WANNA BE IN HIS SHOES, MAX. HE'S A WORRIED MAN. 163 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,684 IF HE'D ONLY GET A RECEIPT 164 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:11,909 IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD, 99. 165 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,926 (psychedelic music plays) 166 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:20,084 YOUR SHOT, MR. WASHINGTON. AND THIS TIME, DON'T CHEAT. 167 00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,935 HELLO, MAX AND 99. 168 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,959 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THOSE SILLY-LOOKING OUTFITS? 169 00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:39,615 SO THAT'S HOW THEY DID IT! 170 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:43,052 YES, ACCORDING TO OUR TECHNICIANS THE DRUG WAS IN THIS WATER ALL THE TIME. 171 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,987 OF COURSE! I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED IT, CHIEF! 172 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:48,291 I'VE HAD SOME WEIRD EXPERIENCES WITH WATER BEFORE... IN MEXICO. 173 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,159 AT LEAST, THIS TIME WE HAVE A LEAD. 174 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,428 THE DARTFOOT SPRINGS WATER COMPANY. 175 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,196 PROBABLY A FRONT FOR JARVIS PYM. 176 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,799 WELL THEN, ALL I HAVE TO DO, CHIEF, IS TO TAKE A SQUAD OF MEN, 177 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,101 - GO OVER AND RAID THE PLACE. - MAX, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 178 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,104 WHAT IF IT ISN'T A FRONT FOR JARVIS PYM? 179 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:04,373 99 IS RIGHT. IF YOU PULLED A RAID, THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT PYM WILL DO. 180 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,876 WELL THEN, IF I WANNA GET IN, WE'LL HAVE TO DO IT IN A DISCREET MANNER, 181 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,377 - RIGHT, CHIEF? - NOW YOU'RE THINKING! 182 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,611 - TWO AGENTS! - RIGHT. 183 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,146 - AND A TANK. - WRONG! 184 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,550 - WRONG? ONE AGENT AND ONE TANK? - NO, MAX. 185 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,386 JUST A TANK? BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, CHIEF. 186 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,523 A TANK DOESN'T GO BY ITSELF! SOMEONE HAS TO DRIVE IT, YOU KNOW. 187 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:23,025 MAX, YOU AND 99 ARE GOING TO INFILTRATE THAT PLANT, 188 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:25,394 - ALL ALONE. - ALL ALONE? 189 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,396 IN THE MIDST OF 100 KAOS AGENTS? 190 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,665 THAT'S THE WAY IT HAS TO BE, MAX. 191 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,100 WELL OKAY, CHIEF. NO OFFENSE, 99, 192 00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:35,570 BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I WISH YOU WERE BUILT LIKE A TANK. 193 00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:37,739 YOU'D BETTER GET GOING. WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME. 194 00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:39,976 RIGHT, CHIEF. AND DON'T WORRY, WE'LL GET INSIDE. 195 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,045 JUST DON'T GET CAUGHT. CAPTURE MEANS CERTAIN DEATH. 196 00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:46,482 SUICIDE MISSION, HUH, CHIEF? WELL, YOU'VE PICKED THE RIGHT MAN. 197 00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,651 - I HOPE SO. - YOU HOPE WHAT, 198 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:51,843 THAT YOU PICKED THE RIGHT MAN OR THAT IT'S A SUICIDE MISSION? 199 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,531 - (shutter clicking) - CERTAINLY DOES LOOK SUSPICIOUS, MAX. 200 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,601 THAT HIGH FENCE AND THOSE ARMED GUARDS PATROLLING ALL OVER THE PLACE. 201 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,269 THAT'S ENOUGH PICTURES. 202 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,571 IT LOOKS IMPREGNABLE. HOW ARE WE GONNA GET IN THERE? 203 00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:12,074 BY CAREFUL PLANNING, 99. 204 00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:14,176 WE WILL CLIMB OVER THE FENCE. 205 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,413 NO, MAX, IT MIGHT BE WIRED. WE COULD SET OFF AN ALARM. 206 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:20,883 - OH. WELL, THEN WE'LL CLIMB UNDER THE FENCE. - YOU MEAN TUNNEL? 207 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:23,286 WELL, I DON'T MEAN EXACTLY THAT, BUT... WHY NOT? 208 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,421 WHY NOT DIG A TUNNEL UNDER THE FENCE? 209 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,556 NO, MAX. IT'LL TAKE TOO LONG. 210 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,159 99, I KEEP COMING UP WITH SUGGESTIONS 211 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:34,363 AND YOU KEEP COMING UP WITH REASONS WHY THEY WON'T WORK. 212 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:37,400 MAX, MAYBE YOU COULD USE ONE OF THOSE PIPES AND POLE-VAULT OVER THE FENCE. 213 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,002 SHH. PLEASE, 99, I'M TRYING TO THINK. 214 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,904 (whispers) I'M SORRY. 215 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,839 I'VE GOT IT. 216 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,942 WHY DON'T I USE ONE OF THESE PIPES 217 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,944 AND TRY TO POLE-VAULT OVER THE FENCE? 218 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,733 THAT MIGHT WORK. 219 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,751 MAX, LOOK AT THOSE PEOPLE UP THE GATE. 220 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,742 - WHAT ARE THEY DOING? - LET'S FIND OUT. 221 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,659 (pipe rumbling) 222 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:06,061 - (children chattering) - EXCUSE ME. 223 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:08,530 JUST A MINUTE. PLAY NICE, KIDS. 224 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:12,434 LAZAR, DON'T TORTURE THAT BUTTERFLY. IT'S A THING OF NATURE. 225 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,103 - YES? - WE WERE JUST WONDERING... 226 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,771 NEAL, GET OFF THE GROUND! 227 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,540 ANASTASIA, DON'T KICK NEAL IN THE BACK! 228 00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,476 YOU KNOW I DON'T ALLOW KICKING ABOVE THE KNEES. 229 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,212 - ARE THEY ALL YOURS? - THOSE FOUR ARE... 230 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,415 LAZAR, NEAL, ANASTASIA AND LUDEN. 231 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,684 LUDEN IS THE ONE GNAWING ON THE TREE. 232 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,820 WE WERE JUST PASSING BY AND WE SAW THIS LINE. 233 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,255 - WE WONDERED WHAT YOU ALL WERE WAITING FOR. - THE TOUR. 234 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:36,325 - WHAT TOUR? - TWICE A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, 235 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,393 THE DARTFOOT SPRINGS WATER COMPANY GIVES YOU 236 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,195 A GUIDED TOUR RIGHT THROUGH THE PLANT. 237 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,364 LUDEN, DON'T EAT DIRT. 238 00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:45,968 GRAZE, IF YOU WANT TO, BUT DON'T EAT DIRT. 239 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,105 EXCUSE ME. 240 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:52,374 MAX, THAT'S HOW WE'LL GET INSIDE... WE'LL JOIN THE TOUR. 241 00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:55,778 EITHER THAT OR WE CAN HAVE LUDEN CHEW A HOLE IN THE FENCE FOR US. 242 00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,802 COME ON, 99. 243 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,952 OKAY, LET'S MOVE INSIDE. 244 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:06,777 THE TOUR IS GONNA START ANY SECOND NOW. 245 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:25,641 MR. PYM, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TWO SPECIAL VISITORS IN THE TOUR... 246 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,032 MAXWELL SMART AND HIS WIFE. 247 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,384 THIS IS WHERE IT ALL HAPPENS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... 248 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:39,088 THE HOME OF DARTFOOT SPRINGS. 249 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,257 THIS IS A FAUCET 250 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,214 UND A PIECE OF PIPE. 251 00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,385 THIS IS A BOTTLE OF WATER. 252 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:53,224 THIS IS A DRAINPIPE UND A HAMMER. 253 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,062 THIS IS A PAN UND A LADLE. 254 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:03,312 A PITCHER UND A BOWL. 255 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,548 UND WE HAVE HERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 256 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,317 THREE FEET ABOVE THE GROUND, 257 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,387 - A WATER "SCHPRIGOT." - (All oohing) 258 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,844 (all murmuring) 259 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,027 NOW, IF YOU'LL FOLLOW ME, PLEASE. 260 00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,985 RIGHT THIS WAY. 261 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,305 NOW'S OUR CHANCE TO BREAK AWAY FROM THE TOUR, 99. 262 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,073 WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT IF JARVIS PYM 263 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,774 - IS ON THE PREMISES. - RIGHT, MAX. 264 00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:35,410 UND STRAIGHT AHEAD... IS OUR TASTING ROOM. 265 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,634 99, LOOK. 266 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,541 ALL THE WATER YOU CAN DRINK... ABSOLUTELY FREE. 267 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,125 PLEASE GO AHEAD AND DRINK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. 268 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,583 I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE. 269 00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,562 Dr. Pym: WELCOME MR. AND MRS. SMART. 270 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:10,279 I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU. 271 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,749 MY LABORATORY ISN'T USUALLY ON THE TOUR, 272 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:18,220 BUT FOR YOU WE MADE AN EXCEPTION. 273 00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:21,323 ALL RIGHT, PYM, DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY. WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED. 274 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,759 QUITE THE OPPOSITE, MR. SMART. 275 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,623 IT IS I WHO HAVE YOU COVERED. 276 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:31,166 I'M ALL ALONE, IF THAT'S WHAT'S PUZZLING YOU. 277 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,502 THEN HOW DO YOU FIGURE YOU HAVE US COVERED? 278 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:37,973 IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD LOOK MORE CLOSELY AT MY MORTAR AND PESTLE. 279 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,677 OF COURSE, THE OLD PESTLE-IN-THE-MORTAR TRICK! 280 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:46,437 NO, THE OLD MORTAR-IN-THE-MORTAR TRICK. 281 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,776 (grunts, coughs) 282 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,258 I WARNED CONTROL WHAT WOULD HAPPEN 283 00:16:56,282 --> 00:17:00,117 IF YOU TRIED TO INTERFERE WITH MY PLANS. 284 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,467 YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, PYM. 285 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,069 WE'VE CANCELED OUR SUPPLY AND CUT OFF YOUR WATER. 286 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:10,071 I ASSUMED AS MUCH WHEN YOU SHOWED UP HERE. 287 00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,741 THAT'S WHY I'M PUTTING AN ALTERNATE PLAN 288 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,144 - INTO EFFECT. - WHAT ALTERNATE PLAN? 289 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:18,313 - I DON'T KNOW YET. - THEN WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT'LL WORK? 290 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:22,617 BECAUSE IF IT DOESN'T, I HAVE AN ALTERNATE ALTERNATE PLAN 291 00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:24,586 AND THAT ONE NEVER FAILS. 292 00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:27,456 - MAX, HE'S MAD. - WAIT A MINUTE, 99, 293 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,292 - IF HE SAYS IT NEVER FAILS... - AHA, 294 00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,883 - I'VE GOT IT. - Max: YOU SEE? 295 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,966 99: WHAT IS IT, MAX? 296 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:41,002 WELL, IT'S EITHER A WHITE MANHOLE COVER 297 00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:43,605 OR THE SECOND LARGEST ASPIRIN I'VE EVER SEEN. 298 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,774 I AM GOING TO DROP THIS TABLET 299 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,776 INTO THE CITY RESERVOIR. 300 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,712 EVERY CITIZEN OF WASHINGTON WILL BE WALKING AROUND 301 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,949 DAZED, DRUGGED AND OUT OF THEIR HEADS. 302 00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:57,352 OF COURSE. AND EVERYBODY WILL THINK THAT IT'S A FOLK ROCK FESTIVAL. 303 00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:00,923 - WHAT DO WE DO NOW, MAX? - DON'T WORRY, 99. 304 00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,958 - THE LAUGH IS ON HIM. - WHO? 305 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,461 - HIM, PYM. - WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? 306 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,397 BECAUSE SUPPOSING I WERE TO ASK YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN 307 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,232 IF WE WERE TO BREAK OUT OF THIS CAPSULE. 308 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,969 THEN I WOULD HAVE TO ANSWER YOU THAT THE CAPSULE IS UNBREAKABLE. 309 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,071 THAT'S WHY I'M NOT GOING TO ASK YOU. 310 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:20,309 BESIDES, THERE'S ONLY ENOUGH AIR IN THERE TO LAST FOR THREE MINUTES. 311 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:24,112 YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO FRIGHTEN US AND MAKE US TALK. 312 00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:27,283 TALK? HUH? YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY 313 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,452 THAT I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN HEARING. 314 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,221 OH, REALLY? HOW ABOUT THE CARPENTER MURDER CASE? 315 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,889 WHAT ABOUT THE CARPENTER MURDER CASE? 316 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,557 SEE, YOU'RE INTERESTED ALREADY. 317 00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:38,227 NO SENSE IN STALLING, MR. SMART. 318 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,463 IN THREE MINUTES YOU WILL BE DEAD, 319 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:43,499 THE CITIZENS OF WASHINGTON WILL BE DRUGGED 320 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:47,803 AND I WILL BE ON A PLANE HEADED FOR THE BEACH AT ACAPULCO. 321 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:51,907 ACAPULCO? MAX AND I ALMOST WENT THERE ON OUR HONEYMOON. 322 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:55,077 IT'S BEAUTIFUL THERE. WE CHANGED OUR MINDS AT THE LAST MINUTE, THOUGH 323 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,579 AND WE WENT TO THE CARIBBEAN. IT'S ALSO VERY... 324 00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:00,815 PRETTY THERE TOO. 325 00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:03,986 BEFORE GOING TO THE RESERVOIR I HAVE TO GO UPSTAIRS 326 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,988 AND GET RID OF THOSE TOURISTS, 327 00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:08,790 BUT I'LL BE BACK FOR MY TABLET IN A MINUTE. 328 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,534 BY THEN, YOU'LL BE DEAD. 329 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:15,052 GOOD BYE, MR. AND MRS. SMART. 330 00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:20,469 - MAX, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW? - DON'T PANIC, 99. 331 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,304 WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T PANIC. 332 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,706 WELL, MAX, THERE'S ONLY TWO MINUTES LEFT. 333 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,442 IF THERE WAS ONLY SOMETHING THAT WE HAD TO WORK A WAY OUT OF THIS... 334 00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:30,145 A HAMMER OR A KNIFE OR AN AX OR SOMETHING. 335 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,147 THERE MUST BE SOME WAY TO BREAK THIS CAPSULE. 336 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,683 IT MUST BE MADE OUT OF SOME KIND OF SPECIAL PLASTIC. 337 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,418 - OKAY, 99, YOU CAN DO IT. - DO WHAT? 338 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,788 - PANIC. - OH, MAX, WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE. 339 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,057 WAIT A MINUTE, 99. LOOK OVER THERE. 340 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:46,194 IT'S A BEAKER OF ACID. IF WE CAN GET THIS CAPSULE TO TOPPLE OVER, 341 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:49,732 AND GET THE ACID TO POUR ON TOP OF THE CAPSULE, IT WILL DISSOLVE IT. 342 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,067 BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA MAKE THE CAPSULE TOPPLE OVER? 343 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:56,160 BY USING MY HEAD, 99. WATCH! 344 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:58,874 - I'VE GOT IT! - GOT WHAT? 345 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:02,678 THE WORST HEADACHE I'VE EVER HEAD IN MY LIFE. 346 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,447 MAX, MAYBE IF WE DO IT TOGETHER! 347 00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:08,150 IT'S WORTH TO TRY, 99. ALL RIGHT, READY? 348 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:12,176 Both: ONE, TWO, THREE. 349 00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,615 - DUCK, 99! - (shatters) 350 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:24,466 MAX, THE TUMBLER DIDN'T FALL. 351 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,535 I KNOW, 99, BUT THE CAPSULE BROKE. 352 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,238 BUT COULD IT? PYM SAID IT WAS UNBREAKABLE. 353 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,495 HE LIED. 354 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:36,445 COME ON, 99. WE HAVE TO DESTROY THAT TABLET BEFORE PYM GETS BACK. 355 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,603 - WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO THOUGH, MAX...? - (footsteps approaching) 356 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,957 (gasps) 357 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,626 ALL RIGHT, PYM, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! 358 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:53,628 OH, NO, MR. SMART. YOU MUSTN'T STOP ME. 359 00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:56,498 THIS TABLET REPRESENTS MY ENTIRE LIFE'S WORK. 360 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,867 I MUST DROP IT IN THE RESERVOIR. 361 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,769 PLEASE, LET ME. YOU MUST LET ME. PLEASE! 362 00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:05,440 I'M SORRY, PYM, BUT I CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO DROP THAT TABLET IN THE RESERVOIR. 363 00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:07,876 - HOW ABOUT A LAKE? - FORGET IT! 364 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:11,001 I'M PLACING YOU UNDER ARREST AND I'M CONFISCATING THAT TABLET. 365 00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,950 WELL, IN THAT CASE, MR. SMART, THERE'S... 366 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:18,287 NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR. 367 00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:21,523 OBSERVE... SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE. 368 00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:24,259 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? - AN ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER? 369 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,963 NO, IT'S THE SECOND MOST DEADLY POISON IN THE WORLD. 370 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,554 - WHAT'S THE FIRST? - ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER. 371 00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:35,571 WELL, GOODBYE, MR. AND MRS. SMART. 372 00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:38,340 NOT SO FAST, PYM! 373 00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:40,175 - OBSERVE! - WHAT'S THAT? 374 00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:42,811 ANTI-SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE. 375 00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,480 IF YOU TAKE THAT SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE, 376 00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:49,184 I'LL SHOVE THIS DOWN YOUR THROAT... NOT THE RING, THE POWDER... 377 00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:50,852 AND YOU'LL BE ALIVE AGAIN. 378 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,054 THAT'S VERY CLEVER OF YOU, MR. SMART, 379 00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:55,691 BUT I WAS PREPARED. OBSERVE AGAIN... 380 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:59,427 PRO-ANTI-SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE. 381 00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:02,798 IF YOU BRING ME BACK TO LIFE, I SHALL TAKE THIS 382 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:06,001 AND THEN I SHALL BE PERMANENTLY DISPOSED OF. 383 00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:10,639 TEMPORARILY PERMANENTLY DISPOSED OF! 384 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,641 - YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN HERE? - NO. 385 00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,678 OH, THAT MAKES TWO OF US. WHAT'S IN HERE, 99? 386 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:18,947 ANTI-PRO-ANTI-SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE. 387 00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:22,350 IF YOU TAKE SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE AND MAX BRINGS YOU BACK TO LIFE 388 00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:26,188 WITH ANTI-SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE AND YOU DECIDE TO DESTROY YOURSELF AGAIN 389 00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:29,591 WITH PRO-ANTI-SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE, MAX WILL BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE AGAIN 390 00:22:29,615 --> 00:22:34,329 WITH ANTI-PRO-ANTI-SODIUM CALCIUM CHLORIDE. 391 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,733 THAT'S EASY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO SAY. 392 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:39,468 I'VE RUN OUT OF RINGS. 393 00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:42,670 WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT. IT WAS MY TURN NEXT. 394 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,839 YEAH, YOU NEVER REALLY HAD A CHANCE, PYM. 395 00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:47,542 THERE WAS NO POSSIBLE WAY FOR YOU TO DO AWAY WITH YOURSELF 396 00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:50,411 - WHILE YOU WERE MY CUS... - (grunts) 397 00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:52,781 - MR. PYM, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?! - YES, YES. 398 00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,783 MY RING DEFLECTED THE BULLET, 399 00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:57,608 RICOCHETED INTO MY SHOULDER... 400 00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:00,744 INTO MY SHOULDER! 401 00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:04,760 - (bumps) - WELL, 99, 402 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:07,295 THANKS TO US, PYM WAS STOPPED FROM DRUGGING THE RESERVOIR 403 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:09,865 AND GIVING ALL THE PEOPLE IN WASHINGTON HALLUCINATIONS. 404 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,367 JUST THINK, MAX, BECAUSE OF US, 405 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,769 EVERYONE TOMORROW MORNING WILL JUMP OUT OF BED 406 00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:16,304 AND JUMP INTO THE SHOWER, GRAB A QUICK BREAKFAST 407 00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:19,074 AND JUMP INTO THEIR CARS AND GET ON THE FREEWAY AND RUSH TO WORK 408 00:23:19,098 --> 00:23:21,465 JUST LIKE THEY DO EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR. 409 00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:26,270 DO YOU THINK WE DID THE RIGHT THING, 99? 410 00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:36,347 (theme music plays) 33301

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