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1
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:05,048
Chief: IN OUR PREVIOUS EPISODE
KING CHARLES OF CORONIA
2
00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:08,018
WAS SMUGGLED INTO THE UNITED
STATES INSIDE A MUMMY CASE.
3
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:11,020
MEANWHILE, MAXWELL SMART
WAS ORDERED TO GROW A MUSTACHE
4
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,889
FOR A SECRET ASSIGNMENT.
5
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:16,493
YOU WERE INSTRUCTED TO GROW A
MUSTACHE. YOU CALL THAT A MUSTACHE?
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,062
THERE'S A MUSTACHE UNDER
HERE SOMEPLACE, CHIEF.
7
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:22,265
Chief: THAT NIGHT AT THE
CORONIAN EMBASSY, SMART AND 99,
8
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:24,234
AS ORDERED, ATTENDED
A MASQUERADE BALL...
9
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,693
UNAWARE THAT A
SWITCH WAS TO BE MADE.
10
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:39,749
SO ONCE AGAIN, BECAUSE OF YOUR
REMARKABLE RESEMBLANCE TO KING CHARLES,
11
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,551
WE ASK YOUR HELP.
12
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,621
Chief: ORDERED TO GUARD THE
CORONIAN ROYAL SCEPTER WITH HIS LIFE,
13
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,822
SMART FOUND HIMSELF FACE TO FACE
14
00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:50,649
WITH KING CHARLES'S MORTAL
ENEMY, RUPERT OF RATHSKELLER.
15
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,997
HAVING TO HIDE KING CHARLES
IN THE SMART APARTMENT
16
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,155
PRESENTED OBVIOUS DIFFICULTIES.
17
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:03,706
99... I'M OVER HERE,
THAT'S KING CHARLES.
18
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,810
YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE THIS CHIEF,
BUT I FORGOT WHERE I HID THE SCEPTER.
19
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,245
WHAT?
20
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:11,981
THAT IS EXACTLY WHERE
IT'S GOING TO REMAIN.
21
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,616
- IN THE UMBRELLA STAND?
- YES.
22
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,285
IF YOU AND I COULDN'T FIND IT
IN THERE, RUPERT NEVER WILL.
23
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,389
ALL RIGHT, GET STARTED.
24
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,528
Chief: WHILE SMART
RELAXED WITH THE BELIEF
25
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,663
THAT KING CHARLES WAS
SAFE IN HIS APARTMENT,
26
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:32,269
KAOS HAD ITS TYPICALLY INGENIOUS
METHOD OF GETTING SOMEONE INSIDE,
27
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,626
SOMEONE WHO COULD KILL THE KING.
28
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,255
Kaos Agent: HELLO, RUPERT.
29
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,712
KING CHARLES IS STAYING
WITH MAXWELL SMART.
30
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,030
I'VE ALREADY SENT
IN THE SILENT VISITOR.
31
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,331
IN A MATTER OF MOMENTS,
32
00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,634
EVERY HUMAN BEING IN THAT
APARTMENT WILL BE DEAD.
33
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:08,626
Chief: KAOS'S SILENT VISITOR...
A GIANT DEADLY TARANTULA.
34
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,858
MAX, DON'T YOU THINK YOU
OUGHT TO COME TO BED?
35
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,227
MAX, WHAT'S THAT
ON YOUR SHOULDER?
36
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,230
DON'T MAKE ANY SUDDEN MOVES,
99. IT'S A DEADLY TARANTULA.
37
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,464
MAX!
38
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:18,601
NOW DO EXACTLY AS I TELL YOU.
39
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,026
GO TO YOUR PURSE
AND GET OUT A MIRROR.
40
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,207
I GOT IT, MAX. NOW WHAT?
41
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,609
NOW COME OVER HERE VERY SLOWLY
42
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,668
AND DON'T DO ANYTHING
TO STARTLE THE TARANTULA.
43
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,682
NOW HOLD THE MIRROR
UP, SO HE CAN SEE HIMSELF.
44
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,317
WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO?
45
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:37,453
BECAUSE HE MAY THINK IT'S ANOTHER
TARANTULA AND BE ATTRACTED BY IT.
46
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,210
OKAY.
47
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,192
HE SEES IT, MAX.
48
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:46,251
GOOD. NOW, NOW... NOW
PULL THE MIRROR BACK SLOWLY.
49
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,201
IT'S WORKING, MAX!
50
00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:52,624
GOOD, NOW LAY THE MIRROR DOWN.
51
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,774
HE'S CRAWLING ONTO IT, MAX.
52
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,175
NOW, QUICK! GO IN THE KITCHEN
53
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:01,432
- AND GET ME A JAR.
- RIGHT.
54
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,171
HERE, MAX.
55
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:12,322
I WANTED AN EMPTY JAR, 99.
56
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,591
WELL, MAX, I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WANTED IT FOR.
57
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,859
- WELL, WHAT WAS IN THERE?
- HORSERADISH.
58
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,650
HORSERADISH.
59
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,232
KILLED HIM INSTANTLY.
60
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:26,035
MAX, RUPERT MUST KNOW THAT
WE'RE KEEPING KING CHARLES HERE.
61
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,737
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT, 99?
62
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,106
WELL, HE MUST KNOW. SOMEONE PUT
THAT TARANTULA IN OUR APARTMENT.
63
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,508
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
64
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:34,577
THE WINDOW WAS OPEN AND
THE TARANTULA CAME IN BY ITSELF.
65
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,179
WELL, I CERTAINLY
HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT, MAX.
66
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:39,082
BUT I NEVER HEARD OF A TARANTULA
IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY.
67
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,416
MAXIE, WHAT'S GOING
ON DOWN THERE?
68
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,252
OH, NOTHING, YOUR HIGHNESS.
EVERYTHING IS... JUST FINE.
69
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,988
WHAT IS THAT TERRIBLE SMELL?
70
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,723
UH, HORSERADISH.
71
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:51,216
HORSERADISH? SMELLS
MORE LIKE A TARANTULA.
72
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:05,674
GOOD MORNING, ANGEL FACE.
73
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:09,178
GOOD MORNING, MRS. SMART. BUT
I'M AFRAID YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE.
74
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,381
I'M NOT ANGEL FACE, I'M CHARLES.
75
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:14,473
- OH.
- I'M ANGEL FACE.
76
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:22,180
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY. EXCUSE ME.
77
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,632
WELL, THAT'S JUST
GREAT, 99, YOU DID IT AGAIN.
78
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,468
- OH, MAX I THOUGHT...
- I KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT,
79
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:32,935
- YOU THOUGHT
IT WAS ME, RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
80
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,004
HOW WAS IT?
81
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,773
- HOW WAS WHAT?
- HIS KISS.
82
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,541
WELL, IT WAS JUST ANOTHER KISS.
83
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,709
- OH, REALLY.
- MM-HMM.
84
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,544
I DIDN'T TAKE ANY NOTICE OF IT.
85
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,513
MAX, I THINK YOU'RE JEALOUS.
86
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:47,038
JEALOUS, ARE YOU KIDDING? I DON'T
HAVE A JEALOUS BONE IN MY WHOLE BODY.
87
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,620
- WERE THEY SOFT?
- WERE WHAT SOFT?
88
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,589
- HIS LIPS.
- OH, MAX, THIS IS SILLY.
89
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,358
ALL RIGHT, 99, IF YOU SAY IT
DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU,
90
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:58,027
OKAY, IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU.
WE'LL FORGET ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
91
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,196
I'LL NEVER MENTION IT AGAIN,
I'LL NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN.
92
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,564
WE'LL LET BYGONES BE BYGONES.
93
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,299
BUT JUST LOOK ME IN
THE EYE AND TELL ME
94
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:04,967
THAT IT MEANT ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING TO YOU.
95
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:06,403
IT MEANT ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING TO ME.
96
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,070
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
97
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:12,241
MAX, THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY
THAT I CAN TELL YOU AND THE KING APART.
98
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,878
I KNOW, YOUR WEDDING BAND.
99
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,813
HE IS NOT MARRIED SO
HE DOESN'T WEAR ONE.
100
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,048
THAT'S HOW I'LL TELL
YOU APART, OKAY?
101
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,550
OKAY.
102
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,952
AND LISTEN, I'M SORRY
ABOUT THE WAY I ACTED, 99.
103
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,921
I WON'T BE JEALOUS ANYMORE.
104
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,023
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MAX.
105
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,591
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
106
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,227
I'M GOING TO ASK THE KING
IF HE WANTS SOME COFFEE.
107
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,251
I'LL GO WITH YOU.
108
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,610
WHERE'S THE KING?
109
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:51,047
HE WENT DOWN TO THE EMBASSY.
HE'LL BE BACK IN A LITTLE WHILE.
110
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,850
MAX, IT'S ALMOST NOON. AREN'T
YOU GONG DOWN TO HEADQUARTERS?
111
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,785
WELL, I THOUGHT I'D GO
IN A LITTLE LATE TODAY.
112
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,221
- OH, HOW LATE?
- LIKE TOMORROW MORNING.
113
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:01,290
MAX, YOU KNOW IT ISN'T REALLY
NECESSARY FOR YOU TO STAY HERE ALL DAY.
114
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,926
I CAN TAKE CARE OF THE
KING WHEN HE COMES BACK.
115
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,828
99, ARE YOU TRYING
TO GET RID OF ME?
116
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,730
OF COURSE I'M NOT, MAX.
117
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:11,514
I'M JUST SAYING THAT IT ISN'T
NECESSARY FOR YOU TO STAY HERE ALL DAY.
118
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,604
WELL, ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO
DOWN TO HEADQUARTERS.
119
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:18,263
- I'LL SEE YOU LATER, 99.
- OKAY, MAX.
120
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,466
99's voice echoing: HE LEFT FOR
THE EMBASSY. HE'LL BE BACK LATER.
121
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,846
MAX, THERE'S NO NEED
FOR YOU TO STAY HERE.
122
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:45,056
I CAN TAKE CARE OF KING
CHARLES WHEN HE COMES BACK.
123
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,011
OH, YOU FORGOT YOUR KEY, MAX.
124
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,480
MAX?
125
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,082
I'M SORRY, MY DEAR, BUT
YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE.
126
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,917
IT IS I, KING CHARLES.
127
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:05,621
OH, I'M SORRY YOUR HIGHNESS, I
JUST DIDN'T EXPECT YOU BACK SO SOON.
128
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:07,590
WELL, IT DIDN'T TAKE
AS LONG AS I EXPECTED.
129
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:10,727
OH, I SEE. WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
ME, I'M JUST FINISHING THE DISHES.
130
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:14,263
NOW, GOOD, I'LL HELP YOU.
131
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:17,166
THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU, BUT IT
REALLY ISN'T NECESSARY, YOUR HIGHNESS.
132
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,937
DON'T CALL ME YOUR
HIGHNESS. CALL ME CHARLES.
133
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,705
CHARLES.
134
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,507
MAX JUST LEFT FOR HEADQUARTERS.
HE WAS A LITTLE LATE TODAY.
135
00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:27,276
YES, I KNOW. I JUST
PASSED HIM IN THE HALL
136
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:31,047
AND I'M GLAD BECAUSE IT
GIVES US A CHANCE TO BE ALONE
137
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,681
AND GET BETTER ACQUAINTED.
138
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,783
UH, WELL, WHY DON'T WE
WAIT UNTIL MAX GETS BACK
139
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:37,686
THEN THE THREE OF US CAN
GET ACQUAINTED TOGETHER?
140
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,121
YOU KNOW, MY DEAR,
141
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,724
I'M EXTREMELY FOND
OF YOUR HUSBAND,
142
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,092
BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH
143
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:47,830
I THINK YOU COULD HAVE
DONE FAR, FAR BETTER.
144
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,698
YOUR HIGHNESS!
145
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,500
YOU MAY BE OUR GUEST
AND YOU MAY BE A KING,
146
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:55,126
BUT I REALLY RESENT
WHAT... EXCUSE ME.
147
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,849
- HELLO.
- Colonel Von Klaus:
HELLO, MRS. SMART.
148
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:08,183
THIS IS COLONEL VON KLAUS.
149
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,253
OH, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
SPEAK TO KING CHARLES?
150
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,455
NO NO, KING CHARLES
IS RIGHT HERE WITH ME.
151
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,090
HE IS?
152
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,858
Colonel: OF COURSE. HE'S
IN WITH THE AMBASSADOR
153
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:17,693
SIGNING SOME VERY
IMPORTANT PAPERS.
154
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,595
I SEE.
155
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,330
Colonel: YOUR MAJESTY
WANTED ME TO LET YOU KNOW
156
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,700
NOT TO WAIT DINNER FOR
HIM AS HE WILL BE QUITE LATE.
157
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:27,136
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR CALLING, COLONEL VON KLAUS.
158
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,760
GOODBYE.
159
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,411
IS SOMETHING WRONG, MY DEAR?
160
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:38,447
MM-MMM.
161
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,650
THAT WAS JUST THE CLEANER CALLING
TO SAY THAT A TRUCK BROKE DOWN.
162
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,085
THEY WON'T BE ABLE
TO MAKE THE DELIVERY.
163
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,387
NOW... NOW WHERE WERE WE?
164
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:49,458
WELL, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SUGGEST
THAT WE OPEN A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.
165
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,561
AH, YES, CHAMPAGNE.
166
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,596
CHAMPAGNE?
167
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:58,234
YES, OF COURSE, MY DEAR. CHAMPAGNE,
WHAT A SPLENDID SUGGESTION.
168
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,602
WELL, NOT NEARLY AS
EXITING AS YOUR SUGGESTION.
169
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:02,972
WHICH SUGGESTION WAS THAT?
170
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,296
THAT WE GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER BETTER.
171
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,893
NO NO, MY DEAR,
THIS IS ALL WRONG.
172
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,996
I MEAN, AFTER ALL,
MAXWELL IS MY FRIEND.
173
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,099
HE HAS BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO
OFFER ME HIS HOME, HIS HOSPITALITY.
174
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,134
JUST CONSIDER IT A PACKAGE DEAL.
175
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:34,070
UH... YES.
176
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:38,608
WELL, TELL ME ABOUT MAXWELL. HE MUST
BE A VERY INTERESTING FELLOW TO LIVE WITH.
177
00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:41,176
WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY INTERESTING
WAS EXACTLY THE WORD.
178
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,246
NOT INTERESTING, YES. WELL,
HE MUST BE VERY EXCITING THEN.
179
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,816
WELL, I DON'T THINK
EXCITING IS QUITE THE WORD.
180
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,984
ROMANTIC?
181
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,319
ROMANTIC DEFINITELY
ISN'T THE WORD.
182
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:54,556
I'D SAY UM... ROUTINE
WOULD BE A GOOD WORD.
183
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,727
ROUTINE? MAXWELL DOESN'T
SEEM ROUTINE TO ME AT ALL.
184
00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,429
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU'RE NOT MARRIED TO HIM.
185
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:03,132
YOU KNOW IT IS JUST AMAZING.
186
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,234
YOU AND MAX LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE
187
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:08,904
AND YET YOU ARE TWO SUCH
ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES.
188
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:12,675
YES, WELL, MAXWELL HAS
MANY GOOD QUALITIES, MY DEAR.
189
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:15,978
HE IS DEPENDABLE, HE IS LOYAL,
190
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,413
HE'S FAITHFUL.
191
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:20,637
KISS ME.
192
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:24,353
HE'S FINISHED.
193
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,689
NO NO, MY DEAR, THIS
IS ALL WRONG. I... I...
194
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,590
WHAT MAX DOESN'T
KNOW WON'T HURT HIM.
195
00:12:28,614 --> 00:12:29,925
NOW, I'M GOING TO GO UPSTAIRS
196
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,862
AND SLIP INTO SOMETHING A
LITTLE BIT MORE COMFORTABLE.
197
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,831
YOU BRING UP THE CHAMPAGNE
AND THE GLASSES, OKAY?
198
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:07,452
AH, MAXWELL, MY FRIEND.
199
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,934
- HOW ARE YOU?
- TERRIBLE.
200
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,368
THE SCEPTER.
201
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,972
DON'T TELL ME SOMEONE
HAS STOLEN THE SCEPTER.
202
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,907
NO NO, THE SCEPTER
IS SAFELY HIDDEN.
203
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,842
THIS IS SOMETHING PERSONAL.
I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
204
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,843
MY WIFE HAS BEEN
UNFAITHFUL TO ME.
205
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,845
GOOD HEAVENS! WITH WHOM?
206
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,013
WITH ME.
207
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:28,683
WITH YOU? I DON'T
THINK I UNDERSTAND.
208
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:31,287
TO THINK I BROKE UP
MY OWN MARRIAGE.
209
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,822
I'M AFRAID YOU TALK
IN RIDDLES, MY FRIEND.
210
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:35,558
BY THE WAY, WOULD
YOU TELL MRS. SMART
211
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:38,294
TO IGNORE COLONEL
VON KLAUS'S PHONE CALL?
212
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,995
I WILL BE DINING WITH
YOU THIS EVENING.
213
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:43,432
WE'RE PRACTICALLY NEWLYWEDS
AND THE FIRST KING WHO COMES ALO...
214
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:46,335
COLONEL VON KLAUS CALLED? WHEN?
215
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:49,004
THIS AFTERNOON WHEN I
WAS WITH HIM AT THE EMBASSY.
216
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:51,707
WELL, THEN SHE KNEW
ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.
217
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,342
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
218
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,712
WELL, NOW IT'S MY TURN TO
PLAY A LITTLE JOKE ON HER.
219
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,937
EXCUSE ME, YOUR HIGHNESS.
220
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,869
WHERE'S THE CHAMPAGNE?
221
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:23,139
IN THE REFRIGERATOR
WHERE IT ALWAYS IS.
222
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,873
THAT IS, IF THERE'S ANY LEFT.
223
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:28,477
KING CHARLES IS SITTING DOWNSTAIRS
AND HE JUST POLISHED OFF A WHOLE BOTTLE.
224
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,380
- KING CHARLES?
- YES, AND HE SURE
LOOKED HAPPY, 99.
225
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:34,550
YOU KNOW, IT MAKES ME
HAPPY TO SEE MY FRIENDS HAPPY.
226
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:37,253
MAX, THERE'S SOMETHING THAT
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THOUGH.
227
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,821
UM, COLONEL VON KLAUS
CALLED JUST A LITTLE WHILE AGO
228
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:42,724
AND HE SAID THAT KING CHARLES
WAS WITH HIM AT EMBASSY.
229
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:44,793
WELL, THAT WAS JUST A RUSE, 99.
230
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,862
YOU SEE, WE THOUGHT THAT
THE WIRE MIGHT BE TAPPED
231
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,298
SO I WENT OVER TO THE EMBASSY
AND PICKED UP THE PAPERS
232
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,766
THAT KING CHARLES
WAS SUPPOSED TO SIGN.
233
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,100
I BROUGHT THEM HOME.
HE HAS THEM NOW.
234
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:53,402
OH.
235
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,371
AND YOU JUST CAME
BACK RIGHT NOW, HM?
236
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,339
- MM-HMM.
- OH, NO.
237
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,074
WHAT'S THE MATTER, 99?
238
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,610
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
239
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:04,647
OH, MAX, THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.
240
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:07,316
BUT BEFORE I SAY IT, I
JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
241
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,385
THAT I LOVE YOU MORE
THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
242
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:14,757
OH, MAX. I HAVE A
CONFESSION TO MAKE.
243
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,792
WAIT A MINUTE, 99.
244
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,894
- I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY.
- YOU DO?
245
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,330
YES, AND YOU DON'T
HAVE TO SAY IT.
246
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,733
YOU SEE, THAT... THAT WAS ME
DOWN THERE ON THE COUCH WITH YOU.
247
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:26,802
I... I WAS PLAYING A LITTLE
JOKE ON YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHY.
248
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,637
I GUESS I WAS JUST JEALOUS.
249
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,295
OH, MAX.
250
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,701
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- KING CHARLES.
251
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,458
MAX, KING CHARLES IS GONE.
252
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,249
99, LOOK.
253
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:57,466
WE HAVE THE KING. BRING THE
SCEPTER TO THE EMBASSY ROOM,
254
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,568
PLACE IT ON DESK, THEN LEAVE.
255
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:02,638
COME ALONE OR THE
KING DIES... RUPERT.
256
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,539
WHERE WOULD RUPERT
HAVE TAKEN HIM?
257
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,642
THE EMBASSY ROOM,
THE EMBASSY ROOM.
258
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,510
WAIT A MINUTE, 99.
259
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:11,046
HOW DID RUPERT GET INTO THAT
ROOM AT THE EMBASSY LAST NIGHT?
260
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,748
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAX?
261
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,616
WELL, HE COULDN'T HAVE
COME THROUGH THE DOOR
262
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,652
BECAUSE I WAS FACING THAT
WAY AND I WOULD HAVE SEEN HIM.
263
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,254
AND HE COULDN'T HAVE
COME THROUGH THE WINDOW
264
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:21,123
BECAUSE WHEN I WENT OUT THE
WINDOW I NOTICED THAT IT WAS LOCKED.
265
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,359
WHICH MEANS THAT THERE HAS
TO BE A SECRET PASSAGE IN THERE.
266
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:27,529
99, GIVE ME A HALF
HOUR'S HEAD START.
267
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:30,966
YOU CALL THE CHIEF,
COLONEL VON KLAUS
268
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,769
AND TELL HIM TO MEET
ME AT THE EMBASSY.
269
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,738
MAX... BE CAREFUL.
270
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:37,895
I WILL.
271
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,962
I WON THE PIG.
272
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:43,306
I DON'T HAVE A PIG. YOU
GOT CHANGE OF A HORSE?
273
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,337
WHAT WAS THAT?
274
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:49,571
PROBABLY JUST A RAT.
275
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:50,905
MEOW.
276
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:54,710
IF THAT WAS A RAT,
HE'S PRETTY CONFUSED.
277
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:55,933
HOLD IT!
278
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,459
BRAVO!
279
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,562
EXCELLENT, MR. SMART.
280
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,064
ONE FALSE MOVE, RUPERT,
AND I RUN HIM THROUGH.
281
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,868
BE MY GUEST.
282
00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:20,812
NOW GO GET THE
BOAT READY, DUMMY.
283
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,030
NOW, MR. SMART, IF
YOU WILL STEP THIS WAY.
284
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:38,787
DROP THE SWORD
PLEASE, MR. SMART.
285
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:39,977
THANK YOU.
286
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,229
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE KING?
287
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,931
OH, HE HAS BEEN DRUGGED. WHAT
HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE SCEPTER?
288
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:52,567
IT'S IN THE EMBASSY
ROOM AS YOU REQUESTED.
289
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,469
WELL, THEN THERE IS
NO FURTHER NEED FOR ME
290
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:57,472
TO KEEP YOU OR KING
CHARLES ALIVE ANY LONGER.
291
00:19:57,496 --> 00:20:00,464
OTTO, OPEN THE PIT
292
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:15,846
SMART.
293
00:20:26,159 --> 00:20:30,372
AND NOW I'M GOING TO
THROW YOU AND KING CHARLES
294
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,908
BOTH INTO THE PIT WHERE YOUR
LIKENESSES WILL BE PRESERVED
295
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,442
PERMANENTLY IN BRONZE.
296
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:36,534
COULDN'T YOU JUST
DO OUR BABY SHOES?
297
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,070
OTTO, START MIXING.
298
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,487
WAIT A MINUTE, RUPERT.
299
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,890
THE SCEPTER IS IN THE EMBASSY
ROOM, BUT IT'S CAREFULLY HIDDEN.
300
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,947
OTTO, STOP MIXING.
301
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,961
WHERE IS IT HIDDEN, MR. SMART?
302
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,330
I REFUSE TO SAY.
303
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,598
OTTO, START MIXING.
304
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,067
HOLD IT A SECOND, RUPERT. I
HAVE A PROPOSITION TO MAKE.
305
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,671
OTTO, STOP MIXING.
306
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:03,939
WHAT'S THE PROPOSITION?
307
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,908
YOU RELEASE THE
KING, SET US BOTH FREE,
308
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,112
WE'LL TAKE THE SCEPTER AND
TURN YOU OVER TO THE POLICE.
309
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,714
WHAT KIND OF
PROPOSITION IS THAT?
310
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:14,639
OTTO, START MIXING.
311
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:18,787
SMART, YOU WILL GO FIRST.
312
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,823
A MOMENT, RUPERT,
ONE LAST OFFER.
313
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:25,549
HAVE THE SCEPTER FOR A MATCH.
314
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,590
I'LL GET IT.
315
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,780
WELL, GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND.
316
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:19,314
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS
RUNNING AWAY, MR. SMART?
317
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,083
WHY DON'T YOU STAND AND FIGHT?
318
00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:25,154
HE WHO FIGHTS AND RUNS AWAY
LIVES TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY. SABATINI.
319
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:32,716
OH, THE KING. YOU WANT
TO RELEASE THE KING.
320
00:22:41,227 --> 00:22:44,361
- YOU LOOK PAINED, RUPERT.
- YOU ARE STANDING ON MY FOOT.
321
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,920
MR. SMART, I SUSPECT
WE HAVE COMPANY.
322
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:01,790
- YOUR FRIENDS, NO DOUBT.
- NO DOUBT.
323
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:04,793
WELL, THEN I MUST BID YOU ADIEU.
324
00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:06,594
STAND AND FIGHT!
325
00:23:06,618 --> 00:23:08,664
AH, MR. SMART...
326
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,966
HE WHO RETREATS
FROM BATTLE TODAY
327
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:14,803
LIVES TO CONTINUE
THE WAR TOMORROW.
328
00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:16,927
THAT IS KIPLING.
329
00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:27,782
YOUR MAJESTY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
330
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:31,686
YES, AND I OWE MY
LIFE TO MAXWELL SMART.
331
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:35,356
MR. SMART, IF THERE'S
ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU
332
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:36,992
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK.
333
00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:39,928
WELL, THERE IS ONE SLIGHT
FAVOR, YOUR MAJESTY.
334
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:41,830
NAME IT, MY FRIEND.
335
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,799
THE NEXT TIME YOU
COME TO AMERICA,
336
00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,183
WOULD YOU MIND
STAYING AT A HOTEL?
337
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,661
WOULD YOU?
26199
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