Original subtitles

- I'’LL CALL 911.

- DOCTORS SAY I'’M FINE. I TRIMMED DOWN.

I REDUCED MY TRIGLYCERIDES, YOU KNOW.

I TOOK A STRESS TEST JUST THE OTHER DAY.

I'’M AS HEALTHY AS YOU ARE.

- IT'’S NOT WHAT THEY SAY OR I SAY.

IT'’S WHAT THE INSURANCE COMPANY SAYS.

- I'’VE BEEN WORKING IN CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA FOR 30 YEARS.

I NEVER HAD A SEASON WHEN I DIDN'’T WRITE

MORE BUSINESS,

NEVER LOST A LINE.

I NEVER MISSED A WEEK ON THE ROAD UNTIL LAST SPRING.

IN ALL THAT TIME,

I AVERAGED LESS THAN ONE PERCENT UNCOLLECTIBLE.

- YOU'’RE NOT HEARING ME.

IT'’S DIFFERENT NOW. WE'’RE PART OF A CONGLOMERATE.

- I HAVE RELATIONSHIPS. THESE GO BACK DECADES.

- THE INSURANCE COMPANY WON'’T COVER YOU TO CARRY A LINE.

- I WAS ON THE ROAD WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED WORKING HERE.

YOU WERE DOING ERRANDS. YOU REMEMBER THAT?

WOULD YOU PLEASE BE A HUMAN BEING ABOUT THIS?

- YOU'’RE GOING TO GET SEVERANCE.

IF YOU WANT TO WORK, YOU CAN GET A RETAIL GIG.

- I'’M A ROAD MAN. I CANNOT STAND BEHIND A COUNTER.

- I TALKED TO THE GUYS IN NEW YORK.

I TOLD YOU WHAT THEY SAID. THAT'’S ALL I CAN DO.

- FINE.

ALL RIGHT. FINE.

I'’LL GO TO THE COHENS.

THEY'’LL GIVE ME A LINE. IF THEY DON'’T, FISHER WILL.

I'’LL TAKE THEIR STUFF.

I'’LL GO SELL ALL MY OLD ACCOUNTS.

WHAT'’LL THE GUYS IN NEW YORK THINK ABOUT THAT?

- OKAY, EDDIE.

OKAY.

YOU WANT TO GO BACK ON THE ROAD?

YOU CAN GO BACK ON THE ROAD.

YOU CAN BREAK THE NEW GUY IN.

- WHAT? - YOU GO OUT WITH HIM

FOR A MONTH, SIX WEEKS, WHATEVER IT TAKES

TO FAMILIARIZE HIM WITH THE LINE

AND INTRODUCE HIM TO THE ACCOUNTS.

IF IT WORKS OUT,

I MAY-- THIS IS NOT A PROMISE.

I MAY BE ABLE TO GET YOU SOMETHING.

- THIS OTHER GUY, DOES HE KNOW WHAT HE'’S DOING?

- WELL, HE'’S HAD A DIAMOND COURSE.

- WHAT ABOUT SELLING? - HE TOOK THE TWO-WEEK

SEMINAR IN PROVIDENCE.

- HE'’S NEVER BEEN ON THE ROAD?

- HE'’S BEEN ON THE ROAD IN ANOTHER BUSINESS,

AND HE SCORED HIGH ON THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE.

- YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

- FORGET ABOUT IT, EDDIE. MAX WILL TAKE THE GUY OUT.

I TRY TO DO YOU A FAVOR, AND YOU GIVE ME SHIT?

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT. BRAD, WAIT A SECOND. LOOK. I--

WE'’LL WORK SOMETHING OUT. WE'’LL WORK SOMETHING OUT.

- SORRY I'’M LATE, MAN.

BOBBY WALKER. - EDDIE MILLER.

- IT'’S GOOD TO MEET YOU, BRO.

APPRECIATE YOUR HELP GETTING ME STARTED.

- MY PLEASURE.

SOME MACHINE YOU GOT HERE. - DO YOU LIKE IT?

CHICKS LOVE THIS CAR, MAN.

IT'’S LIKE A FRIGGING ROCKET SHIP.

- YEAH. WELL,

USE IT FOR YOUR ACCOUNTS ON THE MOON.

- WHAT WAS THAT? - I SAID, "WE'’LL USE MY CAR."

- WELL, BRAD SAID WE COULD USE MY CAR.

- LOOK, I CAN'’T SIT IN THAT SEAT.

MY PROSTATE WILL BE UP IN MY THROAT.

GET YOUR STUFF. I'’LL OPEN THE TRUNK.

- SO THEY SAID YOU'’VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR A WHILE.

- 30 YEARS. - WHOO. 30 YEARS.

THAT'’S OLDER THAN ME. WOW.

PRETTY NICE CAR YOU GOT HERE.

GOOD STEREO FOR AN OLD CAR.

WHO IS THIS ANYWAY?

- CHRISTOPHER JORDAN. - OH, SO YOU'’RE A JAZZ MAN, HUH?

JAZZ MAN. OKAY.

THAT'’S WHY YOU'RE SO LAID BACK, RIGHT?

I GET IT.

I NEVER CARED TOO MUCH FOR JAZZ MYSELF.

SEEMS LIKE MOSTLY OLDER GUYS LIKE IT, YOU KNOW?

I'’M GOING TO PLAY SOME OF MY MUSIC, OKAY?

- KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

- I WILL DO THAT.

HEY, WHAT DID YOU SAY?

- WE'’RE ALMOST IN SHIPPENSBURG.

- WHAT DID YOU SAY?

- I SAY WE'’LL BE IN SHIPPENSBURG IN A FEW MINUTES.

- OH, SHIPPENSBURG, HUH?

SHIT-ENSBURG.

SHIT-ENSBURG.

GOOD OLD SHIT-ENSBURG.

- LET'’S GO.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG CALL. - HOW LONG?

- HALF A DAY.

- YOU KNOW, IN PROVIDENCE, THEY SAID THESE CALLS GO TWO,

THREE HOURS MAX. - WE'’RE NOT IN PROVIDENCE.

WE'’RE IN SHIPPENSBURG. AND UNTIL I TELL YOU,

YOU JUST--

- WELL, LOOK WHO'’S HERE. THE KING OF THE ROAD.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'’D SEE YOU WITH A LINE AGAIN.

- YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'’D SEE ME ALIVE AGAIN.

- OH, NO, NO. I JUST FIGURED YOU'’D MOVE TO FLORIDA OR SOME--

- NAH. THE WAY YOU TREATED THE LAST GUY THEY SENT,

THEY BEGGED ME TO COME BACK.

- HEY. HI. I'’M BOBBY WALKER. I'’M THE NEW GUY.

- IS HE WITH YOU? - NO. HE'’S WITH ME.

- HOW'’S BUSINESS?

- STINKS. I STILL GOT STUFF FROM CHRISTMAS.

- I UNDERSTAND. WELL, I JUST FIGURED WE'’D DROP BY,

GRAB LUNCH, INTRODUCE BOBBY.

- HELLO AGAIN. - HELLO AGAIN.

- YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT STICKUP DOWN IN BALTIMORE?

- NO. - LAST WEEK,

THEY HIT SOME DIAMOND GUY.

- WHAT'’D THEY GET? - OVER A MILLION. SHOT HIM TOO.

DEAD.

- SO YOU'’RE TAKING OVER THE TERRITORY?

- YEAH.

- EVER BEEN ON THE ROAD BEFORE? - OH, YEAH. YEAH.

I TRAVELED FOR KEGEL FOODS FOR THREE YEARS.

- ISN'’T THAT A PRETZEL COMPANY?

- YEAH. YEAH. I MANAGED THEIR VENDING MACHINES

IN DADE COUNTY.

- OH.

- ALL RIGHT. WELL, YOU DON'’T LIKE THAT ONE?

THIS IS VERY SPECIAL.

THIS SERIES HAS BEEN SELLING LIKE CRAZY.

OUR CUSTOMERS ARE TELLING US-- - IT'’S NOT FOR ME.

- MR. LUDWIG, PLEASE FEEL THE WEIGHT ON THIS.

COME ON. GIVE ME YOUR HAND. FEEL THE WEIGHT ON THIS.

THIS IS ONE SOLID, SOLID MOUNTING. HOLD THAT.

HOW DOES THAT FEEL? - IT WON'’T GO

IN SHIPPENSBURG, SON. - WE'’RE SUPPORTING THIS LINE

WITH TONS OF ADVERTISING MATERIAL.

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. - I DON'’T LIKE IT.

- I'’M GONNA MAKE YOU LIKE IT.

- BOBBY, MR. LUDWIG IS NOT IN THE BUYING MOOD.

- WE'’VE GOT-- - STOP FLAPPING YOUR GUMS, SON.

I DON'’T WANT TO BUY. - BOBBY,

WHY DON'’T WE GET OURSELVES A NEWSPAPER,

AND LET ME CLEAN UP THE LINE. I'’LL PUT IT AWAY.

- SURE.

YEAH.

OKAY.

YOU'’RE A TOUGH SELL. TOUGH SELL.

THANKS.

- THERE WE GO.

YOU KNOW, JOHN, BY THE WAY, WE GOT A FEW CLOSE-OUTS

IN CASE YOU WANTED TO TAKE A PEEK, BUT--

- SURE. - YEAH?

- YEAH. - MO ALWAYS SAID

I'’D HAVE A PIECE OF THE BUSINESS,

BUT THREE WEEKS AFTER THE ACCIDENT,

HIS SON SOLD IT, AND THAT WAS THAT.

- HAVE YOU TALKED TO ANDY OR THE OTHER GUYS?

- SURE.

I'’VE BEEN EVERY OFFICE IN NEW YORK.

I GET THE SAME STORY. NOBODY WANTS TO INSURE ME.

- SO WHAT ARE YOU HELPING THEM FOR?

- GOTTA HAVE AN INCOME. DON'’T WANNA LOSE THE HOUSE.

- AND WHERE'’D THEY GET HIM FROM?

- I DON'’T KNOW.

PET SHOP, SOMEPLACE.

- THAT'’S ONE HELL OF A SALE YOU GOT HERE.

HOW DID YOU GET THAT CRABBY OLD BASTARD

TO BUY ALL OF THIS SHIT? AMAZING.

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

- JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE WE WEREN'’T BEING FOLLOWED?

- DO YOU SEE ANY CARS?

- YOU MIGHT WANT TO BE WEARING THAT SEATBELT, BY THE WAY.

- THESE AREN'’T AS NICE AS THE ONES YOU MADE LAST YEAR.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, TIP?

THIS IS ALL TOP SHELF STUFF HERE.

GOOD COLOR, NICE CUT. LOOK AT THAT. IT'’S BEAUTIFUL.

- MR. ROUNTREE. - OH, I'’M SORRY. MR. ROUNTREE.

- I TOOK THIS STONE IN TRADE.

CAN YOU PUT IT IN THAT MOUNTING THERE?

- IT LOOKS A LITTLE BIT SMALL, BUT LET ME--

- WHY DON'’T YOU LET ME DO THAT?

THERE WE GO.

THAT'’S A BEAUTY.

THIS MOUNTING? GOOD CHOICE.

I SEE NO PROBLEM.

JUST MAKE IT A CUNT HAIR BIGGER.

THERE SHOULDN'’T BE A PROBLEM.

- THIS IS DORIS. MY MANAGER.

OH. OH, GEEZ.

OKAY.

- WE'’LL GET IT. NO PROBLEM. NO PROBLEM.

- I'’LL FIND IT. ONE SECOND.

IT COULDN'’T HAVE GONE TOO FAR.

IT'’S GOTTA BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

SEE IT, TIP? RIGHT THERE.

- DAMN. WE'’LL HAVE TO LIFT THE WHOLE GRATING.

- THAT'’S ALL RIGHT, TIP.

GOT A SCREWDRIVER?

- NOW, THERE WASN'’T A THING I COULD DO.

IT WAS HISTORY BEFORE I KNEW ABOUT IT, TIP.

- SHOULD'’VE BEEN IN WRITING.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING USED TO BE A HANDSHAKE.

- NOT ANYMORE.

- NOPE.

- YOU GONNA BE OKAY?

- YEAH. YOU KNOW ME.

I COULD SELL ICE TO THE ALASKANS.

- OH, BEFORE YOU GO. TAKE A WALK BACK TO THE OFFICE.

I WANT YOU TO SEE SOMETHING.

- BOBBY. I'’LL MEET YOU AT THE CAR.

- JUST TAKE A QUICK PEEK.

I PUT AN AD IN THE PAPER FOR PART-TIME CLERICAL WORK.

A FEW DAYS LATER, THAT COMES THROUGH THE DOOR.

AND SHE'’S GOT NEXT TO NO SKILLS, BUT I HAD TO HIRE HER.

SO A COUPLE OF WEEKS GO BY, SHE'’S HELPING ME WITH THE STOCK,

DOING A LITTLE BOOK WORK, CATCHING ON.

I START TO NOTICE SHE'’S GIVING ME THIS LOOK.

THEN ONE DAY, WE'’RE ALONE IN THE BACK,

JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS AND THAT,

AND SHE GOES NUTS ON ME.

- THAT YOUNG GIRL?

- THE OTHER NIGHT,

WE ALMOST WRECKED THE OFFICE.

- HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?

- HEY, SORRY ABOUT THAT LITTLE SITUATION BACK THERE.

WE NEVER REALLY HANDLED BIG STONES IN PROVIDENCE.

COME ON. IT WASN'’T THAT BAD, WAS IT?

I KINDA THOUGHT WE WERE LIKE

HAVING A LITTLE BONDING EXPERIENCE.

- YOU THINK SO? - YEAH.

DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON THAT OLD GUY'’S FACE

WHEN I DROPPED THAT STONE?

THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE A FRIGGING HEART ATTACK.

IT'’S CLASSIC.

- WATCH YOUR FINGERS.

HOW DO I KNOW HE'’S NOT GONNA WORK OUT?

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'’S SHIT WHEN YOU STEP IN IT?

- YOU'’RE NOT THERE TO EVALUATE THE GUY.

YOU'’RE THERE TO TRAIN HIM.

- I HEAR YOU. I'’M JUST TELLING YOU.

AND BY THE WAY, WHAT IS THE ROOM SITUATION?

- WE WANT YOU, THE GUY, AND THE LINE IN ONE ROOM.

YOU GOT THAT? - I GOT IT.

- YOU ARE CALLING THE SALES?

- YEAH. - ALL RIGHT.

KICKING ASS, HUH?

HEY,

IT'’S PRETTY GOOD.

IT'’S A SUITE.

YES.

YES!

THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A DAY.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO OUT AND CELEBRATE?

- I USUALLY HAVE DINNER AT THE PLACE

RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

- THAT PLACE?

I DON'’T KNOW IF YOU NOTICE, BUT--

THAT PLACE LOOKS LIKE A REAL DRAG.

- IT'’S QUIET. WE CAN BRING THE LINE IN.

- WELL, THE LINE'’S INSURED, RIGHT?

- IF IT'’S WITH US OR IN A STORE.

- WELL, NOBODY KNOWS WHAT'’S IN IT.

THEN WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHERE WE GO.

WE'’LL JUST BRING IT.

- THERE'’S OVER A MILLION IN GOODS THERE, DEALER'’S COST.

- IT'’S INSURED.

SO WHAT?

- I'’VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR MORE THAN 30 YEARS.

I'’VE NEVER BEEN ROBBED. NEVER HAD A LOSS.

YOU KNOW WHY?

- NO. NO IDEA.

- I STAY IN OUT OF THE WAY MOTELS.

I EAT IN QUIET, LITTLE RESTAURANTS.

I DON'’T DRAW ATTENTION TO MYSELF.

I DON'’T TALK ABOUT WHAT I DO.

I GO INTO A TOWN, I DO MY BUSINESS, AND I LEAVE.

I RECOMMEND THAT YOU DO THE SAME.

- FINE.

WE'’LL EAT ACROSS THE STREET.

NO PROBLEM.

THIS PLACE AIN'’T SO BAD.

- SOMETHING SMELLS FUNNY.

- WHAT? THIS?

NO, THIS DOESN'’T SMELL FUNNY. OKAY.

THIS, MY FRIEND, IS THE NEWEST, HOTTEST FRAGRANCE FROM EUROPE.

IT'’S A BABE MAGNET.

WEAR IT EVERY TIME I GO OUT.

SHOULD GET YOU SOME.

- HI, GENTLEMEN. CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?

- HI.

WHAT'’S THAT? FRAN?

HI, MY NAME IS BOBBY WALKER, - HI.

- AND THIS IS MY ASSOCIATE HERE, EDUARDO MILLER.

- HI.

- FRAN, WE'’VE HAD ONE HELL OF A DAY,

AND WE'’RE REALLY THIRSTY.

WHAT DO YOU GOT ON TAP? - I GOT MICHELOB AND BUDWEISER.

- OKAY. WELL, BRING ME A MICHELOB

AND BRING HIM SOMETHING REALLY STIFF.

- OKAY.

- DID YOU SEE THAT ASS?

- THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN, AND HAVE A NICE EVENING.

- HEY, FRAN?

WHAT'’S THE BAR LIKE OVER THERE?

- WELL, THEY'’VE GOT A DRINK SPECIAL,

AND THERE'’S A GAME ON THE BIG TV.

- OKAY. THE BIG SCREEN.

YOU WANT TO HAVE A BEER AND WATCH THE GAME?

- I'’M TIRED.

- OKAY.

I'’LL SEE YOU LATER. THANKS FOR DINNER.

HI. - HI.

- WHAT TIME DO YOU GET OFF?

- NOT TILL LATER. I HAVE TO WORK THE BAR.

- I SEE.

- WHAT IS THAT YOU'’RE WEARING?

- OH, THAT?

THAT'’S THIS NEW STUFF. IT'’S FROM EUROPE.

- I LIKE IT. - YEAH?

- YEAH. - COOL.

- BOBBY?

- OH, YEAH, BABY. COME ON. COME ON.

OH! YES!

- LET'’S GO. WE'RE LATE ALREADY.

- HEY, SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT, MAN.

COME ON. I DIDN'’T KNOW SHE WAS GONNA BE A SCREAMER.

- HE SHOULD BE BACK IN AN HOUR OR SO.

HE'’S INSTALLING A GRANDFATHER CLOCK.

- SHOULD'’VE BEEN HERE WHEN HE OPENED.

- SO? - SO NOW WE'’RE GONNA WAIT.

- WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO"?

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU WAIT?

YOU BUY A CUP OF COFFEE, YOU READ A NEWSPAPER,

YOU PICK YOUR NOSE, YOU WAIT. - ALL RIGHT.

I'’M SORRY, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT? I'’M SORRY.

I'’M SORRY I GOT A SLOW START.

YOU DON'’T TURN DOWN PUSSY, MAN, OKAY? IT'’S NOT NATURAL.

IT'’S NOT LIKE I MADE HER DO IT.

SHE WANTED ME, MAN.

SHE REALLY WANTED ME.

I TELL YOU--

THE GIRLS IN THESE SHITHOLES,

THEY GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

IT'’S NOT LIKE THEY'RE LIVING IN HARRISBURG OR SOMETHING.

- I GOT A LOT OF GOOD CUSTOMERS IN THESE SHITHOLES.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'’RE GONNA DO?

WALTZ IN THERE, AND SOMEBODY'’S GONNA HAND YOU AN ORDER?

WHO'’S GONNA BUY FROM YOU?

- YOUR CUSTOMERS ARE GONNA BUY FROM ME.

- MY CUSTOMERS? - YEAH, THEY SAID

THEY WERE GONNA GIVE THEM TO ME. - OH, THAT'’S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

THEY CAN'’T GIVE YOU MY CUSTOMERS.

SAME WAY YOU CAN'’T GIVE ME YOUR GIRLFRIENDS.

IT DOESN'’T WORK THAT WAY.

I GUESS THEY DIDN'’T COVER THAT IN PROVIDENCE.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - GOING TO GET A NEWSPAPER.

- I DON'’T UNDERSTAND. I MEAN, THESE TWO STONES

ARE GRADED THE SAME, AND THAT ONE'’S MORE EXPENSIVE.

- WELL, THERE ARE SLIGHT DIFFERENCES.

- I DON'’T SEE THEM.

- THEY'’RE VERY SLIGHT, BUT THEY'’RE THERE.

- I DON'’T SEE THE DIFFERENCE.

- SO, YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU'’RE GONNA BE LOOKING FOR

IS A VERY SMALL IMPERFECTION IN THE TABLE FACET.

HERE, YOU CAN HOLD THIS.

NOW, THAT'’S WHAT MAKES ONE DIAMOND DIFFERENT

FROM ANOTHER, AND IT AFFECTS THE PRICE.

NOW, THEY'’RE ALL MADE OF THE SAME MATERIAL,

BUT LIKE PEOPLE, THEY ALL HAVE DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES,

SO YOU GOT TO GET TO KNOW A FEW OF THEM

BEFORE YOU CHOOSE ONE. BUT JUST REMEMBER,

WHEN YOU FIND ONE YOU LIKE,

YOU'’RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT FOR A LONG TIME.

TAKE A LOOK AT THESE OTHERS, IF YOU WANT.

- CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? - ASK AWAY.

- HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

THE CUSTOMER SAYS HE DOESN'’T WANNA BUY,

AND YOU TURN AROUND EVERYTIME AND SELL HIM A BIG BILL.

- IT'’S BECAUSE THE CUSTOMERS AREN'’T REALLY SAYING, "NO."

THEY'’RE SAYING, "GIVE ME A REASON TO SAY YES."

- RIGHT. OKAY. BUT HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

WHAT IS THE MAGIC WORD?

- THE MAGIC WORD? - I WANT THE MAGIC WORD.

SHARE IT WITH ME.

- YOU BUY YOURSELF A BOX OF PENCILS.

YOU GET YOURSELF A SIGN THAT SAYS, "I DO NOT SPEAK."

YOU GO TO THE AIRPORT, YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT,

YOU SELL A THOUSAND PENCILS, AND THEN WE'’LL TALK.

- YOU KNOW, I SCORED REALLY WELL

ON THE CUSTOMER RELATIONS TRAINING. THANK YOU.

- WELL, I GIVE MY CUSTOMERS ABOUT FOUR MINUTES

BEFORE THEY TOSS YOU OUT THE DOOR.

- LOOK, EDDIE.

I KNOW IT DOESN'’T SEEM LIKE IT,

BUT I WANT THIS JOB.

I REALLY DO.

THIS IS THE FIRST CHANCE I EVER HAD TO MAKE REAL MONEY.

I KNOW I'’VE GOOFED UP.

I'’M-- IT'S JUST THAT I'’M AFRAID.

I'’M REALLY AFRAID, YOU KNOW.

I NEVER WORKED WITH DIAMONDS BEFORE.

I MEAN, BEFORE TWO WEEKS AGO, I NEVER EVEN SAW A DIAMOND.

I'’M STILL AFRAID OF THE THINGS.

I DON'’T EVEN KNOW WHY THEY HIRED ME

FOR THIS FRIGGING JOB.

PROBABLY BECAUSE I'’M THE ONLY YO-YO WHO KNEW

WHERE FRIGGING GREENCASTLE IS.

- THEY SAID YOU SCORED BIG ON SOME TEST.

- THAT QUESTION THING, I--

MY FRIEND TINA FILLED THAT OUT FOR ME.

I DIDN'’T EVEN TAKE IT.

I DON'’T DO GOOD ON QUIZZES, TESTS.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

I'’LL DO WHATEVER YOU TELL ME TO DO.

I'’LL LISTEN, I'LL LEARN.

- ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

I DON'’T EVER WANT TO HEAR THE WORD "OLD" AGAIN.

NOT EVEN "OLD RECORDS."

- ALL RIGHT.

- THAT TAPE YOU WERE LISTENING TO BEFORE?

LET ME SEE IT.

DON'’T LISTEN TO THAT KIND OF MUSIC.

IT'’LL ROT YOUR BRAINS.

ALL RIGHT. SO YOU JUST WORK WITH IT A LITTLE BIT,

AND TRY RESTING THE TWEEZERS ON YOUR FINGER,

AND YOU GET COMFORTABLE, AND THE CUSTOMER

WILL BE COMFORTABLE, AND THAT STONE WON'’T JUMP OUT

OF THE TWEEZER, ALL RIGHT? WANT TO TRY?

IF YOU KEEP BOTH EYES OPENED,

YOU'’LL ACTUALLY SEE BETTER.

SEE, WHAT YOU HAVE TO REALIZE IS THAT WE'’RE DEALING

IN SOMETHING THAT ISN'’T QUITE REAL.

WHAT IS A DIAMOND ANYWAY?

IT'’S JUST A PIECE OF COAL.

IT'’S BEEN ALTERED BY NATURE,

A WHEEL,

AND A GUY WITH A TOOL.

- MM-HMM.

- I NEVER SAW A GUY EAT LIKE YOU.

THEY FEED YOU AT HOME?

- OH, EDDIE.

I'’M NEVER GONNA REMEMBER HALF THE STUFF YOU TOLD ME.

- SURE, YOU WILL.

ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW IS ENOUGH TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION.

AFTER THAT, IT'’S A MATTER OF THEM GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

- YEAH. BUT THAT'’S ALL PROVIDED THAT I CAN LAST THAT LONG.

- YOU WILL.

OH. - WHAT?

- WHAT IS THAT? IT STINKS. - OH, SHIT.

CHINESE FOOD. - RULE ONE OF THE ROAD,

NEVER LEAVE CHINESE FOOD IN AN ENCLOSED VEHICLE.

- GOT IT.

- YOU BET. A WEEK OR TWO, I'’LL GET THE COMMISSION CHECK,

AND I'’LL MAKE BOTH PAYMENTS.

YES. I UNDERSTAND. I JUST NEED ANOTHER WEEK.

I'’LL HAND DELIVER THE CHECK,

AND I'’LL SEND THE PAPERWORK IN RIGHT AWAY.

THANKS.

- HEY, MAN.

- WHAT'’S THAT?

- OH, THIS? THIS IS A PRINT-OUT OF ALL OUR ACCOUNTS.

COME ON. TEST ME.

TEST ME!

- MECHANICSBURG. - BRADY'’S JEWELERS.

OWNERS ARE TY AND ELLEN BRADY, AND THEY SELL--

NO, THEY LIKE TO BUY LOOSE GOODS.

- OKAY. HOW ABOUT LEWISTON?

- LEWISTON IS--

BREINER'’S JEWELERS--

AND-- OH, SHIT.

I KNOW IT'’S THE LADY WITH THE MOUSTACHE.

IS THAT LEWISBURG? - NO, IT'’S LEWISTON. YOU GOT IT.

- I DON'’T KNOW HER NAME.

- EILEEN. - EILEEN BRENNER.

- YES. - YES. EILEEN BRENNER.

- WELL, YOU LEARNED A LOT FOR A WEEKEND.

- WELL, YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME,

AND I STUDIED VERY DILIGENTLY.

- YOU WEREN'’T OUT THERE CHASING, HUH?

- NO. I WAS OUT THERE CHASING TOO,

AND I BROUGHT MY NOTES WITH ME.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?

- HUH? THIS THING, MAN, ON MY FRIGGING FINGER,

IT'’S LIKE A LUMP,

AND I'’VE RIPPED IT OFF, AND IT KEEPS COMING BACK.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - WE'’LL TAKE A LITTLE DETOUR.

I'’LL GET YOU A BAND-AID, AND I NEED SOME PAPERWORK

FOR THE BANK.

GOT A TON OF BAND-AIDS.

MY WIFE BOUGHT THEM EVERY TIME THEY WERE ON SALE.

- NICE PLACE.

- YEAH, I GUESS I HAVEN'’T BEEN KEEPING IT UP VERY MUCH.

WHAT YOU'’RE DOING IS GOING TO MAKE IT BLEED MORE, YOU KNOW.

- IT'’S NOT GONNA MAKE IT BLEED.

THIS THING COULD BE CANCER OF THE FINGER. I MIGHT DIE.

- LET ME SEE. NO. - LOOK AT THAT.

YOU HEAR ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME. SOME GUY GETS A GROWTH.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, HE'’S DEAD.

- IT'’S A WART.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'’S A-- HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WART

THAT LOOKED LIKE THAT? IT'’S UGLY.

- I KNOW ABOUT CANCER. MY WIFE HAD IT.

THAT'’S A WART.

- SHE ALL RIGHT?

- NO. IT KILLED HER LAST MAY.

SHE WAS SICK FOR QUITE A WHILE.

SHE NEEDED A LOT OF SPECIAL CARE,

AND SHE DIDN'’T WANT TO GO INTO A FACILITY, BECAUSE--

WELL, YOU KNOW-- AND I DON'’T BLAME HER.

AND THAT KINDA WIPED US OUT.

BUT THE KIDS WERE OUT OF SCHOOL, AND THEY WERE OFF,

SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

- HOW LONG WERE YOU GUYS MARRIED?

- LONG TIME.

SINCE I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE.

- OOH,

THAT IS A STRETCH.

- HAVE YOU EVER LIVED WITH A WOMAN?

- NO.

I DON'’T PLAN ON IT EITHER.

I'’VE HAD 'EM OVER FOR A WEEKEND OR TWO.

IT'’S LIKE HAVING YOUR MOTHER AROUND.

I GREW UP IN THIS TINY, LITTLE APARTMENT.

MY PARENTS, THEY WERE ALWAYS, ALWAYS ON EACH OTHER'’S ASS.

YOU KNOW, IT'’S--

I DON'’T WANT THAT. YOU KNOW, I WANT SOMETHING BETTER.

- DID THEY EVER GET ALONG?

- IF THEY DID, I DON'’T REMEMBER.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

YOU GOT THE KIDS. WHERE ARE THEY?

WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

- I GOT TWO DAUGHTERS.

ONE LIVES IN LONDON. THE OTHER ONE, SAN DIEGO.

- THEY--

- MARRIED. - OKAY.

JUST ASKING. JUST--

I DON'’T KNOW IF YOU NOTICE, BUT THOSE GUYS ACROSS THE STREET

ARE STARING AT US. - YEAH, I SEE THEM.

DON'’T LOOK AT THEM. - ALL RIGHT.

- WE'’RE GOING TO MAKE A LEFT DOWN THIS ALLEY.

- WHAT ABOUT THE CAR? - JUST DO WHAT I ASK YOU.

- ALL RIGHT.

- WALK AHEAD OF ME. KEEP YOUR EYES STRAIGHT.

GET TO THE NEXT CORNER. GO RIGHT TO THE STORE.

UNDERSTAND? - YUP.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WHEN WE GET TO THE STORE?

EDDIE.

EDDIE.

- DON'’T SHOOT ME! - I'’M SORRY.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A GUN?

- I'’M JUST TRYING TO PROTECT MYSELF.

- FROM WHAT? I GOT THE GOODS. YOU GOT SHIT.

- I'’M SORRY. - THOSE WERE TWO LOCAL BUMS.

IF THEY HAD BEEN PROS, YOU WOULDN'’T HAVE SEEN THEM COMING.

THEY'’D HAVE HAD THE GOODS AND OFF IN A FLASH.

- EDDIE, I'’VE CARRIED A GUN AS LONG AS I'’VE BEEN TRAVELLING.

THAT'’S WHAT THE GUY IN BALTIMORE DID.

HE HAD A GUN. THAT'’S HOW HE GOT HIS HEAD SHOT OFF.

- ALL RIGHT. FINE. NO MORE GUNS, OKAY?

- GOOD IDEA.

- WHY DON'’T YOU LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU, ALL RIGHT?

I'’LL BUY YOU A DRINK OR SOMETHING.

- NAH. - COME ON.

I KNOW THIS GREAT SPOT.

THERE'’S GOING TO BE A LOT OF CHICKS THERE.

WE'’LL HAVE A GOOD TIME.

SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO?

- OH, WE BOTH WORK THE DAY SHIFT AT SPERRY.

- REALLY? I KNOW SPERRY'’S.

I USED TO STOCK THEIR VENDING MACHINES.

THE ONES IN THE LUNCH ROOM? - YEAH, KEGEL SNACKS, RIGHT?

- YEAH. - THAT WAS ME!

I WAS THE KEGEL MAN. I HAD THE HAT, AND THE--

THAT WAS ME. I WAS THE KEGEL MAN.

LISTEN, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO SOMEONE.

THIS IS MY GOOD FRIEND EDDIE.

EDDIE'’S MY MENTOR, RIGHT? YEAH.

YES.

THAT MEANS HE'’S SHOWING ME MY NEW JOB.

- AND WHAT'’S THAT?

- WE'’RE IN THE DIAMOND-- - COMPUTERS.

- RIGHT.

- PARTS. - COMPUTER PARTS

AND AUTO SUPPLIES BUSINESS, EXACTLY.

AND WE'’RE JUST IN TOWN VISITING ONE OF THE CUSTOMER,

AND WE JUST WANTED TO HANG OUT. - I'’M GONNA GO TO THE BATHROOM.

- HAVE FUN.

- I'’M TIRED.

- EDDIE, DON'’T GO. - NO, NO, NO.

HAVE A GOOD TIME. - THESE GIRLS ARE--

- YEAH. I'’LL BE ALL RIGHT.

- I'’LL SEE YOU LATER, OKAY?

SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- I WANNA PARTY. - OKAY.

- HEY.

DON'’T MIND ME, EDDIE.

OH, SHIT.

I'’LL JUST BE A SECOND. ONE SECOND.

OH, MAN.

FUCK!

DUDE,

DO YOU HAVE ANY RUBBERS?

- NO.

- OKAY.

SHIT.

SEE YA.

- WHAT HAPPENED? - WHEN I GOT BACK,

THEY WERE GONE.

THAT'’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'’RE NOT PREPARED.

- SHOULD'’VE TRIED THE MEN'’S ROOM.

- AND YOU SHOULD'’VE HUNG AROUND.

THAT PLACE WAS CRAWLING WITH BABES, MAN.

- WASN'’T MY KIND OF CROWD.

- WERE YOU REALLY ON THE ROAD FOR 30 YEARS?

- YUP.

- YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT DOING NOTHING DIFFERENT?

- WELL, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, BUT

I COULD NEVER THINK OF WHAT.

I HAD A FAMILY.

- AND YOU NEVER CARRY RUBBERS AROUND?

- NO.

- NOT EVEN FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS?

- LIKE WHAT? MY BIRTHDAY?

NO.

RE-RAISE. THAT'’S IT. I CALL.

WHAT IS IT?

- JACK SOLO.

- FULL BOAT.

- THREE FIVES WILL DO THEN.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GENTLEMEN.

- YOU'’VE BEEN PRETTY FEISTY LATELY.

- EVER SINCE HE STARTED MESSING AROUND WITH JAILBAIT.

- HER NAME IS MARCY. SHE'’S 26 YEARS OLD

AND QUITE MATURE FOR HER AGE.

- WELL, SOMEBODY SAID THEY SAW YOU PICKING HER UP

AT THE HIGH SCHOOL.

- WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU'’RE OLD, MARRIED MEN.

- TIP, SOMEDAY, THAT GIRL IS GONNA MAKE YOU A FINE NURSE.

- YOU CHANGE HER DIAPERS NOW, SHE'’LL CHANGE YOURS LATER.

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WHEN SHE FIRST STARTED WORKING FOR ME,

I HAD HER COME IN TWICE A WEEK.

NOW, I'’M THINKING OF PUTTING HER ON FULL TIME.

- THAT'’S GOTTA BE PRETTY EXPENSIVE.

WHAT DOES SHE CHARGE? ABOUT A HUNDRED AN HOUR?

- HEY, HE'’S TOO CHEAP FOR THAT.

ANYWAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU USE HER FOR?

FIVE MINUTES A WEEK?

- I'’M JUST GONNA SAY ONE THING.

LAST YEAR, THE UROLOGIST POKES AROUND,

AND TELLS ME I'’M NOT GETTING ENOUGH SEX.

A FEW DAYS AGO, HE TELLS ME I'’M GETTING TOO MUCH.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

- SOUNDS LIKE SCIENCE FICTION.

I BETTER TAKE A LEAK.

- HEY, SPORT. WHERE'’S THE BEER?

- IN THE FRIDGE OUT BACK. HELP YOURSELF.

HEY, EDDIE.

LISTEN TO ME.

GET YOURSELF A YOUNG GIRL. IT'’LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

- FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT, TIP.

AFTER THE HEART ATTACK, I WENT TO THIS RECOVERY GROUP.

FIRST QUESTION THAT GOT ASKED WAS, "CAN I STILL HAVE SEX?"

DOCTOR SAID, "YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE SEX YOU WANT

WITH YOUR WIFE." EVERYBODY LAUGHED, OF COURSE,

BUT IT LEFT ME WITH A QUESTION.

HOW MUCH SEX A GUY CAN TAKE?

- THAT'’S THE LAST THING I'’D WORRY ABOUT.

YOU GO OUT LIKE THAT, SHIT, YOU'’RE LUCKY.

- GUESS SO.

- COME HERE, YOU.

- HEY, FRAN? - MM-HMM?

- DO YOU HAVE ANY UNATTACHED GIRLFRIENDS?

- OF COURSE, I DO. - YEAH?

- YEAH.

I MEAN SOMEONE REALLY, REALLY OPEN-MINDED.

- DO YOU WANT TO GET IT ON WITH ME AND ANOTHER CHICK?

- OH, YES. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

BUT THAT'’S NOT WHAT I'’M TALKING ABOUT.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT GUY I CAME IN WITH?

- YEAH, THE OLDER GUY. YEAH.

- I WANT TO SET HIM UP.

- HE'’S A FUCKING DINOSAUR.

- THAT'’S NOT FUNNY, FRAN.

- NONE OF MY FRIENDS WOULD GO OUT WITH HIM.

- WHY?

- BECAUSE HE'’S TOO OLD.

- HE'’S NOT REALLY OLD.

I'’M SERIOUS. HE'S, LIKE, HIP.

- YEAH. OH, I'’M SURE.

BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE, LIKE, MAKING IT IN THE SACK,

AND HE CROAKED.

IT WOULD BE MY FAULT.

I WOULD FEEL TERRIBLE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- DON'’T YOU GOT TO GET YOUR KIDS OR SOMETHING?

- NAH. NOT TILL 12.

I THOUGHT MAYBE WE'’D HANG OUT FOR A WHILE.

- YEAH, BUT I GOT A LONG DAY TOMORROW.

I GOT A LONG RIDE TONIGHT, SO I'’M GONNA GO.

I'’LL LET MYSELF OUT. TALK TO YOU LATER.

CAN WE STOP AND GET A COFFEE?

- SHOULD'’VE GOTTEN COFFEE BEFORE WE LEFT.

- I KNOW. I WAS LATE. BUT THERE'’S A PLACE,

RIGHT UP HERE, I'’D LIKE TO JUST RUN IN REAL QUICK,

IF YOU DON'’T MIND.

THANK YOU.

- I DON'’T WANT TO GO OUT WITH HIM.

HE'’S TOO OLD FOR ME.

- DON'’T SAY "OLD," OKAY? HE'’S SENSITIVE ABOUT THAT.

COME ON, SHARON.

YOU'’RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT GUYS BEING JERKS,

GUYS WITH ATTITUDES, GUYS WHO ARE BROKE.

COME ON. HE WAS MARRIED FOR A MILLION YEARS,

AND HIS WIFE DIED.

HE'’S GOT A GREAT JOB. HE'’S GOT A CAR.

HE LIVES IN A HOUSE.

OH, SHARON. COME ON.

I'’M NOT ASKING YOU TO SLEEP WITH HIM.

HE JUST NEEDS A COMPANION.

- GET HIM A DOG.

LISTEN,

I'’VE GOT CUSTOMERS, OKAY? BYE.

- ARE WE SEEING ANYONE TONIGHT?

- NO.

- I GOT SOME FRIENDS.

THEY LIVE JUST OUTSIDE OF ALTOONA.

I WAS THINKING ABOUT DROPPING IN ON THEM.

- WOMEN?

- YEAH, WOMEN.

BUT I THINK YOU'’LL LIKE THESE WOMEN.

- YOU WERE JUST GONNA DROP IN ON '’EM.

- NO, I WASN'’T JUST GONNA DROP IN ON '’EM.

I CALLED THEM.

TOLD THEM I WAS IN THE AREA.

TOLD THEM I HAD A FRIEND.

THEY SAID IF WE HAVE TIME TO "PLEASE, COME BY."

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- I DON'’T KNOW.

- COME ON. YOUR SHOES ARE SHINED.

YOU'’RE LOOKING PRETTY DAPPER.

LET'’S DO IT.

ALL RIGHT!

YES!

COME ON.

- AND WHO LIVES ALL THE WAY OUT HERE?

- MY FRIENDS. WILL YOU RELAX?

DON'’T MIND THE EXTERIOR. THEY'’RE FIXING UP THE PLACE.

- WHO IS IT?

- IT'’S BOBBY.

- HOLD ON. - OKAY.

- WHO LIVES HERE?

- HI, SWEETIE.

- HEY. - HOW YOU DOING?

- I'’M GOOD. I'’VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD.

- OH, THAT'’S NO FUN.

- WELL, IT'’S NOT SO BAD. THIS IS MY FRIEND EDDIE

THAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT. - HI. TINA.

COME ON IN.

YOUR FRIEND'’S GOOD LOOKING. - THANK YOU.

- CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?

- NO, I THINK WE'’RE ALL RIGHT.

- I'’LL TAKE A BEER. THANKS.

- I HAVE A COUPLE OF NEW GIRLS STARTING TONIGHT.

I THINK YOU'’LL LIKE 'EM.

GREAT.

- OKAY.

- EDDIE. EDDIE!

EDDIE, WHAT'’S THE MATTER.

- YOU DIDN'’T TELL ME YOUR FRIEND WAS A HOOKER.

- SHE'’S NOT A HOOKER.

THEY GIVE MASSAGES IN THERE.

- ARE YOU KIDDING?

- ALL RIGHT. SOME OF THE GIRLS PERFORM EXTRA SERVICES FOR TIPS,

BUT THEY DO THAT ON THEIR OWN.

ALL RIGHT. EDDIE, LISTEN,

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

LOOK, A FEW YEARS AGO, TINA'’S OLD MAN RAN OUT ON HER

AND HER KID. LEFT HER WITH NOTHING.

I LOANED HER A FEW BUCKS TO GET BACK ON HER FEET

AND START HER BUSINESS. THIS IS THE PLACE.

- WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU HAD SEX WITH HER?

- IT WAS BEFORE. WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?

- IT MATTERS A LOT. - NO, IT DOES NOT MATTER.

LOOK, I DIDN'’T GIVE HER MONEY, SO SHE'’D HAVE SEX WITH ME.

SHE NEEDED IT. SHE'’S MY FRIEND.

ALL RIGHT? AND SHE NEVER FORGOT ABOUT IT.

SHE LOOKS OUT FOR ME NOW. SHE'’LL LOOK OUT FOR YOU TOO.

- IS THIS THE TINA THAT TOOK THE TEST FOR YOU?

- YES, SHE'’S A VERY SMART GIRL.

- YOU GOT THE KEYS. - GREAT.

YOU WANNA GO BACK TO THAT SHIT MOTEL AND WATCH TV,

GO AHEAD.

ALL RIGHT. WAIT, WAIT. DON'’T GO. DON'T GO.

COME ON, IT'’S LONELY BACK THERE.

WHAT'’S WITH YOUR HEAD, EDDIE?

YOU'’D RATHER WATCH TV IN A SHITTY MOTEL THAN HANG OUT

WITH SOME HOT CHICKS?

- I DIDN'’T COME HERE TO SCREW SOME YOUNG, HOT CHICKS.

- YOU KNOW-- - LOOK, I'’M NOT SAYING

YOU HAVE TO SCREW ANYONE.

NO ONE'’S GONNA MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON'’T WANT TO.

WE'’RE JUST GONNA HANG OUT FOR 30 MINUTES, 40 MINUTES.

WE'’LL UNWIND AND RELAX.

COME ON. TINA'’S MY FRIEND. I WANT TO VISIT WITH HER.

YOU CAN TRUST HER.

YOU CAN TRUST HER.

COME ON. COME ON.

COME ON.

- I THOUGHT I LOST YOU THERE.

- EDDIE THOUGHT HE LOCKED THE KEYS IN THE CAR.

- NO PROBLEM.

LOOK, EDDIE. EDDIE, RIGHT?

I'’M GONNA TAKE YOU UPSTAIRS,

SHOW YOU TO A NICE ROOM.

THIS YOUR FIRST TIME IN ALTOONA?

- NO.

I'’VE BEEN COMING THROUGH ALTOONA FOR A LONG TIME NOW.

- GEE, THAT'’S FUNNY.

I'’VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE.

RIGHT THIS WAY.

AND DON'’T YOU WORRY.

THE MASSEUSES HERE ARE VERY NICE.

COLLEGE GIRLS.

- HI.

I'’M AMBER.

- EDDIE.

- WOULD YOU LIKE A MASSAGE?

- OKAY.

MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, AND I'’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU GOTTA TAKE OFF MORE THAN THAT, HONEY.

AND YOUR SHORTS.

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? HARD? SOFT?

- I DON'’T KNOW. IT DOESN'’T MATTER.

- YOU'’RE ALL TENSED UP.

YOU GOT TO RELEASE ALL THAT.

MOVE YOUR LEGS.

MOVE THEM APART.

OKAY.

YOU CAN TURN OVER NOW.

I'’LL DO YOUR FRONT.

LOOKS LIKE WE'’RE GONNA GET ALONG REAL GOOD.

YOU NEED TO RELAX MORE.

JUST LAY BACK.

AND DON'’T WORRY. I'’LL FIX THIS.

- OH, NO.

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. OH, NO. NO. I CAN'’T DO THIS.

I'’M AWFUL SORRY.

- NO SWEAT.

I'’LL SEE YOU LATER.

- EDDIE. HOW'’D IT GO, MAN? WHAT'’S UP?

- LISTENING TO THE RADIO. - YEAH?

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?

- YEAH.

- GOOD.

- SO DID YOU LIKE THE GIRL?

GOOD.

I WAS HOPING TO GET A GOOD LOOK AT HER.

SHE'’S PROBABLY HOT, HUH?

SHE WAS HOT, YEAH?

YOU KNOW, EDDIE, IF SHE GAVE YOU A HARD TIME,

YOU GOTTA TELL ME. - NO.

- NO, YOU GOTTA TELL ME, BECAUSE IF SHE DID,

I'’LL CALL TINA AND BOUNCE HER OUT OF THERE.

- SHE WAS FINE. SHE WAS REALLY FINE, HONESTLY.

- WHAT?

- SHE HAD AN EYE IN THE MIDDLE OF HER CHEST.

- WHAT?

SHE HAD THIS TATTOO IN THE MIDDLE OF HER CHEST.

IT WAS A FLAMING EYEBALL. I--

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - NO.

- SHE HAD AN EYEBALL IN BETWEEN HER BOOBS?

- I'’M AFRAID SO. I COULDN'’T STOP LOOKING AT IT.

I TURNED AWAY. I DIDN'’T WANT TO--

I DIDN'’T WANT TO STARE.

IT WAS AWFUL.

- YOU GOTTA TURN AROUND, MAN.

I WANNA GO SEE IT! - NAH, YOU DON'’T WANT

TO SEE HER-- - TURN THE CAR AROUND!

- NO, DON'’T EMBARRASS ME. LISTEN, I COULDN'’T--

I COULD HARDLY NOT LOOK.

I JUST DIDN'’T WANNA LOOK.

I DIDN'’T WANNA STARE BUT, YOU KNOW,

IT WAS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF-- I COULDN'’T STAND IT.

I WAS DYING IN THERE.

I DON'’T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

I WAS JUST SO EMBARRASSED, I HAD TO RUN.

THE ALTOONA RIDING CLUB, EH? - YUP.

I USED TO TAKE THEM CARDS, AND I'’D PASS THEM OUT

ON ALL MY ROUTES TO, LIKE, ALL THE GUYS.

AND WHENEVER I'’D COME BACK TO THE TOWNS,

THE GIRLS WOULD BE-- YOU KNOW, REPAY THE FAVOR.

- YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME?

- NOPE.

ONLY WHEN I GET STRESSED OUT.

TAKES THE EDGE OFF.

- YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I WAS WITH THE SAME WOMAN

FOR SO LONG, AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS, YOU DON'’T JUST--

I DON'’T KNOW. PROBABLY HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH AGE.

- ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU

LOSE THE URGE?

I MEAN, IS THAT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET--

- DON'’T SAY IT.

- SORRY.

SORRY.

- NO. YOU DON'’T LOSE THE URGE.

YOU STILL-- YOU KNOW-- YOU STILL WANT SEX, BUT

YOU WANT AFFECTION.

I DON'’T KNOW. IT'’S A LITTLE HARD TO DESCRIBE.

- YEAH.

I BET IT IS.

HEY, I'’M SORRY OUR LITTLE EXPEDITION DIDN'’T WORK OUT.

- DON'’T WORRY ABOUT IT.

- I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU TO STUDY THIS WEEKEND, OKAY?

- YEAH? - GUYS WHO HAVE REGULAR SEX

LIVE AN AVERAGE OF TEN YEARS LONGER THAN THOSE WHO DON'’T.

I'’M SERIOUS. YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.

- LATER, PAL.

- ALL RIGHT. HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.

BUT I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM, YOU KNOW?

HE'’S ALL TENSED UP AND GROUCHY ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, HE'’S GOTTA GET LAID.

IT'’S JUST-- I GOTTA FIND SOMEONE

WHO CAN MAKE IT ROMANTIC FOR HIM.

- WELL, I DON'’T KNOW IF ANYBODY HERE IS GONNA BE UP

FOR ALL THAT, BUT I'’LL ASK.

- ALL RIGHT.

OH, TINA.

CAN YOU SET ME UP WITH THE ONE WITH THE EYEBALL?

- SHE WORKED HERE FOR TWO NIGHTS, THEN SHE DISAPPEARED.

SORRY.

- DO YOU HAVE HER PHONE NUMBER?

- SO LOOKS LIKE THE KID'’S GONNA WORK OUT AFTER ALL.

- WELL, HE'’S LEARNING.

- YEAH, I CALLED AROUND TO A FEW OF THE ACCOUNTS.

THEY LIKE HIM.

- BRAD, LOOK, WE GOTTA TALK.

HE'’S GONNA BE OUT ON HIS OWN HERE BEFORE LONG,

AND I GOTTA KNOW. I GOT A MORTGAGE.

- EDDIE, WE HAVEN'’T DECIDED YET,

BUT WE'’LL TALK ABOUT IT, OKAY?

- BRAD, I NEED MORE THAN THAT.

- DON'’T BUST MY BALLS, EDDIE.

WE'’LL DO SOMETHING, OKAY?

NOW, I HAVE TO GO.

BYE.

- WHAT ABOUT EDDIE MILLER?

- HE'’S GONE.

CORPORATE WANTS A WHOLE NEW TEAM.

- LOOK, HE'’S A GOOD MAN, AND I SORTA PROMISED THAT--

- HE'’S TOO GOOD.

HE GETS TEN PERCENT PLUS OVERAGE.

WE'’RE NOT GIVING THAT ANYMORE.

- I MEAN, I KNOW YOU LIKE THE 60s,

BUT YOU COULD PROBABLY ALSO USE SOME THREE-GRAINERS TOO.

- YEAH, BUT I DON'’T WANT TO PAY FOR BOTH.

- OKAY, SO HERE'’S WHAT WE'LL DO-- WE'’LL DIVIDE THE PARCEL,

AND WE'’LL GIVE YOU AN EXTRA 30 DAYS TO PAY FOR IT.

- GUY'’S QUITE THE DIAMOND MAVEN.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, HE SPENT TIME IN THE CUTTING HOUSE.

HE KNOWS DIAMONDS.

- SO YOU BEEN AROUND THIS BUSINESS A WHILE, HUH?

- YEAH.

- YOU MADE A GOOD IMPRESSION,

AND YOU BEGAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

- RIGHT, BUT THE ONLY THING-- I NEVER EVER WORKED IN THE

CUTTING HOUSE, YOU KNOW THAT. - OH, DOESN'’T MATTER.

AND YOU KNOW, IT'’S HARMLESS.

HE JUST NEEDS TO THINK THAT

YOU KNOW SOMETHING THAT HE DOESN'’T KNOW.

- ALL RIGHT.

YOU LIVE BY YOUR WITS IN THIS GAME,

AND YOU'’LL LEARN HOW.

- HEY, BABY. I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. WHAT'’S UP?

I FOUND SOMEBODY FOR YOUR FRIEND.

I APPRECIATE IT, BUT AFTER THE LAST TIME,

HE'’S NOT INTERESTED ANYMORE.

- THIS'’LL MAKE UP FOR ALL OF THAT.

- I CAN'’T GET HIM TO COME BACK THERE WITH ME.

EVEN IF I COULD, HE IS--

HE DOESN'’T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THOSE TYPE OF GIRLS.

- JUST BRING HIM.

I GOT THE GIRL.

- COME ON. WE'’RE NOT GONNA GET IN TILL LATE.

WE PASS RIGHT BY ALTOONA.

EDDIE, I'’M TELLING YOU, SHE SAID THIS IS THE ONE.

NO FLAMING EYEBALL.

NO NOTHING.

SHE HAS THE GIRL FOR YOU.

COME ON. IT'’S A HALF HOUR OUT OF THE WAY.

WHAT'’S THE BIG DEAL?

- WHAT WOULD WE DO WITH THE LINE?

TIP'’S IS THE CLOSEST STORE. HE'’S CLOSED.

- THERE. SATISFIED?

WE'’RE NOT BEING FOLLOWED.

OKAY?

WHAT IS WAITING FOR YOU BACK IN HARRISBURG?

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

LISTEN,

I PUT THIS THING IN MY MIND,

AND I-- I DON'’T KNOW.

- WELL, GOOD.

YOU CAN'’T IGNORE IT.

THE THING'’LL STRESS YOU OUT

WORSE THAN ANY HEART CONDITION WILL.

- WHERE'’D YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT?

- THE GUYS AT THE OFFICE TOLD ME ABOUT IT.

LOOK, EDDIE.

I KNEW YOU WOULDN'’T RETIRE.

I SEE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THIS JOB.

SO I ASKED '’EM.

THEY TOLD ME.

EDDIE,

LOOK, I'’M REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT THEY'’RE DOING TO YOU.

I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT,

BUT I CAN'’T.

TINA SAYS SHE'’S GOT SOMEONE REALLY GREAT FOR YOU.

LEAST WE CAN DO IS GO FIND OUT.

- GOOD THING YOU CALLED AHEAD.

- COME WITH ME.

DON'’T LEAVE, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE?

- YES. I MEAN, SHE'’S NOT USUALLY WHAT PEOPLE REQUEST,

BUT SHE'’S PERFECT FOR YOUR FRIEND.

NO EYEBALLS,

NO ROAD MAPS ON HER ASS,

NOTHING CRAZY, RIGHT?

- NO. TRUST ME.

I GOT THIS DOWN.

I EVEN FIXED UP THE ROOM.

- OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

- I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU TOO.

- IT'’S ALL SET.

- THIS IS A MISTAKE.

I CAN FEEL IT. - NO, NO. NOT TONIGHT.

- I'’M KATIE.

- I'’M EDDIE.

- IS IT EDWARD?

- YES.

- WELL, IT'’S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, EDWARD.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'’VE BEEN TRAVELLING, HUH?

- YES, WE HAVE.

- AND YOU'’RE TIRED, AND YOU'’RE ACHY,

AND YOU NEED TO RELAX.

- I GUESS.

WELL, WHY DON'’T YOU LAY DOWN,

AND LET ME GIVE YOU A BACKRUB?

- YOU WANT ME TO UNDRESS?

- LET'’S START WITH YOUR TIE AND YOUR SHIRT.

- HI. - HI.

- I'’M CHERRY.

- YOU'’RE NEW.

- MM-HMM.

LOOKS LIKE YOU LIKE ME.

- THINK YOU'’RE RIGHT.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT THAT?

- SO TELL ME, EDWARD, ARE YOU MARRIED?

- MY WIFE DIED.

LAST YEAR.

- I'’M SORRY. THAT MUST'’VE BEEN TERRIBLE.

- IT WAS ACTUALLY. SHE WAS--

WE WERE VERY CLOSE.

- BREATHE IN.

THE BUDDHISTS SAY

THAT IF YOU CAN JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT,

YOU CAN SEE ALL YOUR TROUBLES THROUGH.

- THAT'’S INTERESTING.

I WAS A SECRETARY FOR FIVE- YEARS, AND ABOUT A MONTH AGO,

THEY LET US KNOW THAT THE COMPANY WAS BEING SOLD.

THE VERY NEXT FRIDAY, THE ENTIRE OFFICE WAS LET GO.

- THAT MUST'’VE BEEN SHOCK.

- YEAH, AT FIRST,

BUT I'’M REALLY TRYING TO JUST

LET THE FLOW OF LIFE CARRY ME, YOU KNOW?

NOT TO RESIST.

RELAX.

- I KNOW I GOT MORE RIGHT HERE.

I CAN GET MORE FROM THE ATM MACHINE, IF YOU WANT TO

- NO, THAT'’S OKAY. - YOU SURE?

- YEAH, THIS TIME. THAT'’S FINE.

- YOU'’RE REALLY HOT.

OH, MAN.

I LOVE YOU.

- SEE, WE ALL HAVE THIS

VOICE INSIDE US THAT'’S, LIKE,

AN INNER ADVISOR,

AND IF YOU CAN JUST STAY FOCUSED ON IT,

IT'’LL KEEP YOU IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER TRUTH.

- YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT THIS STUFF.

DID YOU STUDY IT? - NO.

I'’VE TAKEN YOGA FOR 15 YEARS.

- FEELS GREAT.

- YOU HAVE EXCELLENT MUSCLE TONE, EDWARD.

YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, HUH?

- I HAD A HEART ATTACK ACTUALLY,

BUT I'’M MUCH BETTER NOW.

- OKAY.

TURN OVER.

NOW,

I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.

I'’M HERE TO PAMPER YOU,

BUT I DON'’T DO WHAT SOME OF THESE

OTHER GIRLS HERE DO.

- NO.

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT WITH THAT?

- YES.

- YOU KNOW,

WHEN I DID THIS IN A DOCTOR'’S OFFICE, I NEVER HAD TO EXPLAIN,

BUT HERE--

- I UNDERSTAND.

- WELL, THAT'’S GOOD,

BECAUSE NOW I CAN REALLY RELAX TOO.

- ME TOO.

- OH, I LOVE YOU.

I DO, CHERRY.

CHERRY,

OH!

OH, SHIT.

OH, FUCK.

I'’M SORRY.

I'’M SORRY.

I BLEW MY LOAD SO FAST.

I DON'’T USUALLY DO THAT.

- DON'’T WORRY, BABY. YOU WERE THE BEST.

- CAN I DO IT AGAIN, LIKE, IN A COUPLE MINUTES?

- YOU KNOW, I'’D REALLY LIKE THAT, BUT-- UM--

MY GIRLFRIEND'’S CAR BROKE DOWN,

AND I PROMISED I'’D PICK HER UP FROM WORK,

SO I CAN'’T.

- I CAN GET HARD REALLY QUICK.

- I KNOW. I'’M SURE YOU CAN. I GOTTA GO.

I GOTTA GO MAKE A PHONE CALL, OKAY?

BUT NEXT TIME,

WHY DON'’T YOU RESERVE THE JACUZZI, OKAY?

- I CAN'’T BELIEVE HOW RELAXED I FEEL.

- YOU HAD A LOT OF TENSION IN YOUR CHAKRA POINTS.

- I READ ABOUT THOSE IN ONE OF MY HEALTH MAGAZINES--

THE SHOCKER POINTS.

- CHAKRA.

- WELL, WHATEVER THEY ARE,

I CAN'’T BELIEVE IT MAKES SUCH A DIFFERENCE.

- SO YOU'’RE SURE YOU'RE NOT DISAPPOINTED?

- NO.

NO, I'’M FINE.

- YOU KNOW THE ONLY REASON I TOOK THIS JOB

WAS TO PAY THE BILLS.

I HAVEN'’T DONE MASSAGE IN YEARS. I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED.

YOU MADE IT VERY EASY FOR ME, EDWARD.

- NO, I DON'’T.

HEY.

READY TO GO?

- YEAH, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

- OH, HI.

- HI, I'’M KATIE.

- SO ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME HOW IT WENT?

- I REALLY LIKE HER.

- YOU REALLY LIKED HER?

SO IT WORKED OUT?

- YEAH.

- I'’M SO-- I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, EDDIE.

I'’M SO HAPPY.

YES!

YES!

- I TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK OUT.

- I CAN'’T BELIEVE IT.

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, THOUGH.

ALL THAT STUFF SHE SAID ABOUT HER JOB AND EVERYTHING,

THAT'’S ALL TRUE, RIGHT?

WELL, SORT OF. I MEAN,

SHE WAS A SECRETARY, AND SHE DID LOSE HER JOB, BUT--

- BUT WHAT?

TINA. BUT WHAT?

IN HER PRIME,

KATE MUST'’VE SERVICED HALF OF PITTSBURGH.

A FEW YEARS AGO,

SHE SORT OF RETIRED, YOU KNOW.

SHE'’S GETTING OLDER. THERE WAS A DRINKING PROBLEM,

BUT ALL THAT'’S BEHIND HER NOW.

- TINA.

YOU TOLD ME THIS WAS THE PERFECT GIRL FOR HIM.

- BOBBY, YOUR FRIEND IS IN GOOD HANDS.

I PROMISE.

- HI.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO SPEAK WITH KATIE?

- NO, I'’M SORRY. CAN I TAKE A NUMBER?

HAVE HER CALL YOU?

- SURE. I'’M AT 717--

HELLO?

- EDWARD?

- I'’D LIKE TO TAKE YOU TO DINNER.

- WOW, THAT'’S KIND OF A LONG WAY FOR YOU, ISN'’T IT?

- WELL, TOMORROW'’S SUNDAY.

NICE DAY FOR A DRIVE.

- YOU'’RE SURE YOU DON'T MIND COMING THAT FAR?

- I'’D BE DELIGHTED.

WHERE WILL I PICK YOU UP?

- COULD WE MEET SOMEWHERE?

- CHEERS. - CHEERS.

- NOW, THIS MAY SEEM IMPULSIVE, I REALIZE,

BUT YOU MADE ME FEEL REALLY COMFORTABLE,

AND IT'’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'’VE BEEN NEAR A STRANGE WOMAN.

WHAT I MEAN IS--

I'’VE LOOKED AT A LOT OF WOMEN OVER THE YEARS,

BUT MY WIFE AND I REALLY LOVED EACH OTHER, AND I NEVER STRAYED.

- YOU WERE SOUL MATES, HUH?

- YOU MEAN, WERE WE REALLY CLOSE?

YES.

BUT THAT WAS THEN, AND THIS IS NOW,

AND I WANT TO BE OPEN TO WHATEVER HAPPENS NEXT.

I KNOW I'’M NOT EXPRESSING MYSELF VERY WELL.

- NO, NO.

BUT YOU MADE ME COMFORTABLE,

AND I WANTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN, SO HERE I AM.

- WELL, I'’M REALLY HAPPY TO HEAR THAT.

YOU MUST BE

CURIOUS ABOUT ME. - YES,

OF COURSE.

- GOD, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE THE MOST

AMAZING AURA OF STABILITY, DID YOU KNOW THAT?

IT'’S VERY OBVIOUS IN YOU.

SO, I'’VE ALWAYS WANTED THAT FOR MYSELF.

I HAVEN'’T BEEN ABLE TO ACHIEVE IT, BUT--

- DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN?

NO, I CAN'’T HAVE THEM.

I MARRIED A COUPLE.

DIDN'’T REALIZE IT, BUT--

NO, I'’D SAY, I HAVE BETTER LUCK WITH DOGS.

- IF YOU COULD

WAVE A MAGIC WAND

AND MAKE THINGS JUST THE WAY YOU WANTED THEM,

HOW WOULD THAT BE?

- I'’D HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT.

YOU KNOW, RECENTLY, I'’VE JUST BEEN

SO GLAD TO BE ABLE TO PAY THE RENT,

FEED THE DOGS--

I HAVEN'’T REALLY WISHED FOR ANYTHING MORE.

- WOULDN'’T WANT TO BE RICH? BIG HOUSE?

NICE CAR?

OKAY, THIS MAY SOUND STRANGE,

BUT THESE DAYS,

I'’M MORE CONCERNED WITH MY INNER LIFE.

YOU KNOW, STAYING IN TUNE WITH MY SENSES,

THE REST JUST SORT OF FEELS LIKE WINDOW DRESSING.

- SHOULD WE ORDER?

- YEAH.

I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH, EDWARD,

BUT I CAN'’T TAKE YOU HOME.

- I WOULDN'’T EXPECT YOU TO.

- IT JUST WOULDN'’T FEEL COMFORTABLE, YOU KNOW?

I SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO SHARE

THINGS WITH PEOPLE I'’VE JUST MET,

BUT YOU'’RE DIFFERENT,

SO HERE GOES--

I STILL HAVE THIS FANTASY ABOUT A MAN LOOKING AFTER ME.

- I UNDERSTAND THAT.

- SOMEHOW I KNEW YOU WOULD.

- I HAD A GREAT TIME.

- SO DID I.

- DRIVE CAREFULLY.

- OKAY.

- HEY, I'’M ABOUT A HALF HOUR AWAY.

IF I CAME BY, COULD I TALK TO YOU?

- WHY ARE YOU HERE ON A SUNDAY NIGHT?

- WELL, IT'’S ALL SORT OF COMPLICATED.

I'’M DOING A HALF-ASSED INVENTORY.

THAT GIRL MARCY--

- THE ONE YOU WERE--

- MY LITTLE DARLING.

THINGS STARTED TO DISAPPEAR.

FIRST A FEW SMALLER PIECES, THEN A RUBY AND DIAMOND BRACELET.

SHE AND DORIS WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO HAD ACCESS TO THE CASES,

AND DORIS-- WELL, YOU KNOW, SHE HAS BEEN WITH ME FOR 20 YEARS.

- YOU DIDN'’T CATCH HER IN THE ACT?

NAH, I JUST GOT RID OF HER.

NOW I GOTTA GO THROUGH ALL THE STOCK.

SO I LET MY DICK GET THE BETTER OF ME,

BUT WHAT THE HELL?

- COULD'’VE BEEN WORSE.

- YEAH.

YEAH, AND I WAS HAVING A TIME THERE.

- YOU KNOW, THIS IS A COINCIDENCE.

I THINK I'’VE MET A WOMAN.

I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW HER A LITTLE BIT BETTER, BUT--

- I HOPE THIS ISN'’T A YOUNG KID.

YOU DON'’T WANT TO DO WHAT I DID. - NO.

NOTHING LIKE THAT.

THE REAL ISSUE IS--

WHEN I WAS GETTING BETTER,

I HAD THE FEELING THAT

THE BUSINESS WAS ALL I HAD TO KEEP ME CONNECTED TO THE WORLD.

SITTING ACROSS FROM THIS WOMAN TONIGHT,

I REALIZED I WANTED MY LIFE TO BE DIFFERENT.

I DIDN'’T WANT TO BE HANGING ONTO THAT LINE

UNTIL I DROPPED DEAD.

- EDDIE,

YOU BEEN TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS AS LONG AS I'’VE KNOWN YOU,

AND I ADMIRE YOU FOR IT.

YOU DONE MORE THAN YOUR SHARE,

BUT WHEN DO YOU GET YOURS?

- I HAVE VERY FEW REGRETS, TIP.

- NO, I KNOW,

BUT I'’M TALKING ABOUT NOW,

BECAUSE I SEE BATTLES OUT THERE THAT YOU CAN'’T WIN.

- HEY, WHERE'’S THOSE FUCKING NACHOS.

- SHUT UP.

- COME ON, WILL YA?

I WANNA EAT ALREADY.

- MOVE IT.

- LET GO OF ME YOU FUCK.

- COME ON, BE NICE, HUH.

- LET GO.

- DON'’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

- THE GAME IS ON. SHUT UP!

- SUPPOSE I CAME UP WITH A WAY TO GET US A LOT OF MONEY.

- AND HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT?

YOU GONNA WORK DOUBLES AT THE JERK-OFF PALACE?

- IT'’S JUST BULLSHIT MONEY.

- WHAT KINDA MONEY YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- A LOT MORE THAN YOU GOT OFF THAT TRUCK.

- YEAH, SURE.

- THIS GUY CAME IN TO TINA'’S,

TRAVELLING SALESMAN.

HE'’S GOT DIAMONDS.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW?

- BECAUSE I SAW HIM AT THE JEWELRY STORE

WHEN I WAS I THE OFFICE.

- AND YOU'’RE SURE THIS WAS THE SAME GUY.

- YEAH. HE CAME IN WITH A FRIEND OF TINA'’S.

THEY TRAVEL TOGETHER.

- DID HE RECOGNIZE YOU?

- NO, HE NEVER SAW ME.

- IS HE GONNA COME BACK?

- DID YOU FUCK HIM? - NO.

- YOU'’RE LYING.

- I SWEAR TO GOD, I DIDN'’T. - YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

YOU FUCKING LYING TO ME?

- I GAVE HIM A HANDJOB.

YOU KNOW YOU'’RE THE ONLY ONE I FUCK.

DON'’T FUCK WITH ME.

I HATE THAT PLACE. I WOULDN'’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT,

IF YOU TWO WOULD MAKE A DECENT SCORE NOW AND THEN.

- WHAT DID YOU SAY?

- STOP IT. DO YOU HEAR ME?

- I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THOSE DIAMONDS.

AND YOU GOTTA BE THINKING ALL THE TIME

ABOUT EVERYTHING,

THE WEATHER, THE CUSTOMER, THE LINE, THE ROAD.

IT'’S ALL PART OF IT.

YOU SEE, THAT'’S WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY YOU LIVE BY YOUR WITS.

- YOU REALLY THINK I CAN DO IT?

- WHY NOT?

- I DON'’T KNOW.

I'’M NOT LIKE YOU.

I NEVER WILL BE.

- YOU DON'’T HAVE TO BE LIKE ME.

YOU GOT PERSONALITY TO BURN.

YOU'’RE GONNA BE FINE.

- YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE.

- HEY, EDWARD.

IT'’S KATIE.

YOU WERE REALLY SWEET THE OTHER NIGHT,

AND I HOPE I DIDN'’T SAY ANYTHING

THAT GAVE YOU THE WRONG IMPRESSION.

IF YOU'’RE COMING THROUGH, PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL.

I'’D LOVE TO SEE YOU.

MY HOME PHONE IS 814-368--

- I GOTTA MAKE A PHONE CALL OR TWO.

- OKAY. JUST GOING OVER MY NOTES.

- NO, I DIDN'’T THINK YOU WERE BEING RUDE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE PROTECTING YOURSELF.

- DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU'’RE TOO NICE?

SO WHERE ARE YOU? CAN YOU COME BY?

- WE'’RE ON OUR WAY BACK.

YEAH, COULD I COME BY FOR A LITTLE BIT?

- I'’LL MAKE YOU DINNER.

- ALL THE BETTER. WHERE ARE YOU?

- I'’M ONLY FIVE MINUTES FROM TINA'’S.

- LOOK, WHEN YOU GET TO TOWN, CALL ME,

AND I'’LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS, OKAY?

- WILL DO.

WE'’RE GONNA BE LATE GETTING INTO HARRISBURG.

WHAT WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT A LITTLE STOP?

- YOU MEAN, LIKE ALTOONA?

- I GAVE IT A THOUGHT.

- CAN I SEE THE CELL PHONE, PLEASE?

HEY, TINA, WE'’RE GONNA BE BY IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF ME SEEING CHERRY?

- SHE ISN'’T HERE,

BUT I'’LL BEEP HER.

- MUST REALLY BE EXCITING, HUH?

STARTING OUT WITH A NEW WOMAN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?

- IT'’S DIFFERENT.

- WELL, SOMETHING I'’LL PROBABLY NEVER EXPERIENCE.

- FOR WHAT IT'’S WORTH,

ALL THOSE YEARS ON THE ROAD,

SOMETIMES THE WEATHER WAS LOUSY,

THE BUSINESS WAS LOUSY,

SOMETIMES I DIDN'’T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING OUT THERE ANYWAY,

BUT I ALWAYS KNEW I HAD A GOOD WOMAN

WAITING FOR ME WHEN I GOT HOME.

THAT'’S A BIG THING.

- EVEN WHEN THEY GET OLD?

- KA-POW! I'’LL GIVE YOU OLD.

WHAT'’D I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT?

- I'’M SORRY, MAN. I'’M AN ASSHOLE.

- I WON'’T ARGUE THAT.

I'’M JUST TELLING YOU.

- LISTEN, WHY DON'’T YOU COME IN FOR A SECOND.

- NO. - COME ON.

SHE'’S WAITING FOR ME TO CALL. I'’LL PICK YOU BACK UP IN

A COUPLE HOURS, ALL RIGHT?

LISTEN, I WANT YOU TO MEET THIS CHICK. SHE'’S SO HOT.

PLUS, TINA WANTED TO SAY HI. - TWO MINUTES.

- ALL RIGHT.

- DON'’T TURN AROUND. - WE GOT GUNS!

- WHAT IS THIS? A JOKE OR SOMETHING?

- KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. - BE QUIET, BOBBY.

- DO EXACTLY WHAT WE SAY.

- ALL RIGHT. - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

- ALL RIGHT! - TURN AROUND, YOU.

- KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN, YOU FUCKING GOAT.

DON'’T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME, OR I'’LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF.

- WHAT? - I HEARD YOU.

- NOW OPEN THE TRUNK.

- LOOK, MAN. WE DON'’T GOT NOTHING.

- OPEN THE FUCKING TRUNK.

- WE DON'’T HAVE ANYTHING. - BOBBY,

KEEP QUIET.

GIVE HIM THE KEYS.

- FINE.

- DUDE, WE JUST CAME TO GET LAID, MAN.

- WHAT? - YEAH, MAN,

THERE'’S THIS HOT REDHEAD CHICK IN THERE.

- "“HOT REDHEAD,"” HUH? - YEAH, I CAME TO BANG HER.

- CAME TO GET LAID, HUH? - YES.

- ALL RIGHT. OPEN THE TRUNK. HEAR ME?

- DON'’T SET OFF THE FUCKING ALARM EITHER.

JACKPOT.

HIT HIM. - WHY?

- BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO, THAT'’S WHY. HIT HIM.

- I'’M NOT GONNA HIT HIM. I'’LL FUCKING KILL HIM.

- FUCKING HIT HIM. - TAKE THE STUFF, IT'’S YOURS.

GET HIM OFF OF ME.

YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.

- STOP IT!

- CAME HERE TO GET LAID, HUH, MOTHERFUCKER?

BOBBY?

BOBBY?

BOBBY, ARE YOU AWAKE?

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

- I THINK SO.

- BOBBY.

BOBBY, YOU OKAY?

- WHAT'’S THAT SMELL?

IT SMELLS LIKE SOMEONE DIED.

- THAT'’S THE CHINESE FOOD.

YOU LEFT CHINESE FOOD IN HERE AGAIN.

- OH.

SORRY.

- GET UNTIED AND HELP ME OUT HERE, WILL YOU?

- ARE YOU TIED?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK THERE?

- I'’M TIED BACK HERE.

THEY TIED ME UP, THOSE PUNKS.

- CAN YOU OPEN THE DOOR?

- I CAN'’T OPEN THE DOOR. THEY GOT THE CHILD LOCK ON.

- ALL RIGHT, LET ME TRY.

AW, SHIT.

THOSE FUCKING ASSHOLES.

OH, MY HEAD HURTS.

AW, SHIT!

- YOU ALL RIGHT?

BOBBY?

- THE GRASS IS WET.

- SO WHAT'’S THE VALUE OF THIS JEWELRY?

- OVER A MILLION IN WHOLESALE.

- JESUS.

THIS IS A RISKY BUSINESS YOU'’RE IN.

NOBODY KNEW WHAT WE WERE CARRYING.

STILL, I THINK WE WANT TO SPEAK TO THESE WHORES.

- THEY'’RE NOT WHORES.

- SONNY, I'’M FAMILIAR WITH THE PARTIES IN QUESTION.

- THEY'’RE WHORES.

- SO WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?

- WHY, YOU CAN KISS JEWELRY BUSINESS GOOD-BYE.

- I TOLD '’EM WHAT I COULD.

SORRY, GUYS.

- IT WASN'’T YOUR FAULT.

- NOBODY HERE KNEW YOU WERE CARRYING ALL THAT STUFF.

NOT THAT IT MATTERS.

THAT CHERRY DIDN'’T SHOW.

- IT DOESN'’T MATTER.

SHE DIDN'’T KNOW ANYTHING.

- THE GIRLS ARE REALLY FREAKED.

THEY'’RE NOT USED TO TALKING TO THE COPS,

WITH THEIR CLOTHES ON.

SHE GAVE YOUR FRIEND TIP'’S WITH FALSE INFORMATION.

HER REAL NAME IS MICHELLE BLIANE

AND SHE'’S WANTED ON A NUMBER

OF RETAIL THEFTS.

- SO SHE JUST

DISAPPEARED?

- SHE'’LL SHOW UP.

SOONER OR LATER.

- AND WHAT ABOUT THE JEWELRY?

- IT'’S PROBABLY BEEN FENCED ALREADY.

- AND CATHERINE HARNISH.

THE WOMAN YOU ARE GOING TO VISIT?

SHE'’S NOT A SUSPECT,

BUT SHE'’S NOT EXACTLY THE GIRL NEXT DOOR.

- OKAY.

- YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS GOING TO DO WITH OUR INSURANCE PREMIUM?

WHAT WERE YOU DOING GOING IN MASSAGE PARLORS?

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

- I DON'’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.

- YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND.

THAT'’S WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU'’LL NEVER WORK IN THIS INDUSTRY AGAIN, EDDIE.

- EDDIE. - BOBBY.

- HEY, I'’VE BEEN CALLING YOU, MAN.

DID YOU GET MY MESSAGES? - YEAH, I GOT '’EM.

- HOW YOU BEEN? - I'’M FINE.

- SO, YOU WANT TO GET TOGETHER OR SOMETHING?

HANGOUT? I MISS YOU, MAN.

- YEAH.

SURE WE WILL WE'’LL GET TOGETHER.

- EDDIE, WE JUST HAD A BAD BREAK, YOU KNOW,

I CAN'’T LET THAT KEEP US DOWN, RIGHT?

- BOBBY, I AM--

I THINK I NEED A LITTLE TIME TO MYSELF.

- EDDIE, YOU CAN BOUNCE BACK FROM THIS.

YOU'’RE A HELL OF A GUY.

I KNOW IT.

- THANKS.

- I GUESS I'’M JUST TRYING TO SAY

I WANT TO STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOU, MAN.

- WE'’LL DO THAT. DON'T WORRY.

WE'’LL STAY IN TOUCH.

I'’LL GIVE YOU A CALL, ALL RIGHT?

- EDDIE. - TAKE CARE NOW.

COME ON IN. IT'’S WIDE OPEN.

- HOW ARE YOU, EDWARD?

- I'’VE BEEN BETTER.

I SUPPOSE I'’VE BEEN WORSE.

- I DIDN'’T HEAR FROM YOU.

- YOU KNOW, THE COPS,

FBI, INVESTIGATORS--

I HAVEN'’T HAD A LOT OF TIME FOR MYSELF.

- DID ANYTHING TURN UP?

- NO.

- SO WHY DIDN'’T YOU PHONE ME?

- I INTENDED TO.

- I ALMOST DID A COUPLE OF TIMES, IT JUST...

- YOU JUST...

- MY PROBLEMS HAVE BECOME A LITTLE MORE COMPLEX.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- I THINK THAT WHATEVER FUTURE I HAD

WENT OUT THE WINDOW WITH THOSE DIAMONDS.

- I CAN'’T BELIEVE YOU THINK THAT WAY.

- I DON'’T EVEN KNOW WHERE I'’M GOING TO GET A JOB.

- DO YOU BELIEVE IN A HIGHER POWER?

A UNIVERSAL SPIRIT,

GOD, WHATEVER?

- I'’M NOT SURE I DO.

YOU KNOW THESE LAST FEW YEARS HAVE BEEN PRETTY--

YEAH, I KNOW. MINE HAVE BEEN SHITTY TOO,

BUT EDWARD,

IT DOESN'’T MATTER WHAT WENT WRONG OR WHY.

IT'’S ALL IN THE PAST,

AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD

WITH THE FLOW OF YOUR LIFE AND TRUST

THAT A HIGHER POWER WILL PROVIDE THE REST.

- I'’M GONNA LOSE THIS HOUSE.

I STILL HAVE MEDICAL BILLS FROM SARAH.

I'’M JUST ONE STEP AWAY FROM THE STREET.

- SO YOU MOVE IN WITH ME.

LOOK, EDWARD.

EDDIE.

I DIDN'’T HAVE TO SPEND A WHOLE LOT OF TIME

WITH YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE

THE BEST MAN I'’VE MET IN AGES.

AND YOU'’RE GONNA GET BACK ON YOUR FEET.

I JUST-- I KNOW YOU WILL.

I MEAN, IT MAY TAKE SOME TIME,

BUT YOU'’RE GONNA DO IT.

I JUST--

I KNOW IT.

- TINA!

HEY.

LOOK AT YOU.

YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.

- HANDSOME. - SO EXPENSIVE.

- EXPENSIVE. THANK YOU.

YEAH, I'’M A BIG EXECUTIVE NOW.

- OH, EXCUSE ME. - YEAH, THAT'’S RIGHT. YUP.

I'’M IN CHARGE OF ALL THE SNACK MACHINES

FROM BOSTON TO MIAMI.

- OH.

SNACK MACHINES ARE GOOD. - YEAH.

- EVERYBODY SNACKS.

- THAT'’S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.

- YEAH.

- SO AFTER MY FIRST PROMOTION.

- PROMOTION?

- TWO PROMOTIONS.

- REALLY? - YEAH.

- IT'’S BIG TIME, MAN.

- IT'’S GOING REALLY GOOD.

- I'’M SO PROUD OF YOU.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

- I KNEW YOU'’D BE OKAY.

- DO YOU EVER HEAR FROM KATIE?

- NO. I MEAN, SHE SAID SHE'’D CALL ME WHEN SHE SETTLED DOWN,

BUT SHE NEVER DID.

- YEAH.

I NEVER HEAR FROM EDDIE EITHER.

I THINK THE ROBBERY TOOK A LOT OUT OF HIM.

I DON'’T KNOW WHERE I'D BE WITHOUT THAT GUY.

HE HELPED ME A LOT.

- HOLD ON A SECOND.

HERE.

DON'’T TELL ANYBODY WHERE YOU GOT IT.

- WHERE-- WHERE IS THIS?

- MEXICO.

I WASN'’T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYBODY,

BUT IT'’S BEEN SO LONG,

I FIGURED-- WHAT THE HELL?

- IS THIS WHERE EDDIE IS?

- IT'’S WHERE KATIE IS, THAT'’S ALL I KNOW.

SO I GUESS THIS IS IT FOR A WHILE.

- I'’M IN PITTSBURGH ALL THE TIME.

I'’LL COME BACK AND VISIT.

- I DON'’T THINK SO.

BYE, SWEETIE.

- MI NOMBRE ES BOBBY.

ROBERTO WALKER.

COMO SE LLAMAS?

- ME LLAMO FELIPE.

- FELIPE.

FELIPE,

DONDE VAMOS--

THE RIGHT PLACE?

- DON'’T WORRY, SENOR.

I KNOW THIS PLACE.

- YOU SURE?

- MIRA, CHICO.

SORRY, MAN.

KEEP THE DINERO, OKAY, FELIPE?

THANKS, MAN.

- PENDEJO.

- KATIE.

- BOBBY?

- CAN YOU OPEN THE GATE?

- IT'’S OPEN.

- BOBBY?

OH, MY GOD.

WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS?

HOW YOU DOING, KID? - HEY.

HOW YOU DOING?

- I'’M CONFUSED.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

ARE YOU WORKING?

I DON'’T UNDERSTAND.

- YEAH,

BUT THIS IS OUR HOUSE.

- THIS IS YOUR HOUSE?

- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK, HUH?

- I'’LL GET IT. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

LEMONADE, SOMETHING STRONGER?

- YEAH, SOMETHING STIFF.

- SIT DOWN. COME ON.

- THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

- SO DID TINA TELL YOU WHERE TO FIND US?

- IT'’S OKAY.

EDDIE WANTED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU,

AND I WOULDN'’T LET HIM. I WOULDN'’T

LET HIM TALK TO ANYBODY.

OUR SITUATION HERE IS

A LITTLE BIT COMPLICATED.

- I JUST WORRIED THAT EDDIE

HELD ME RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ROBBERY.

- HEY, HERE'’S A LEMONADE,

AND THIS ONE'’S A LITTLE BIT STIFFER.

- I OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION.

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

REMEMBER HOW SCARED I WAS ABOUT SECURITY?

- YEAH. - I MEAN, LISTEN,

ALL MY LIFE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT JUST THE SORT OF THING

THAT HAPPENED THERE IN ALTOONA.

15 YEARS AGO, I GOT A SOLUTION.

I STARTED HAVING THEM CUT A LITTLE COMPARTMENT

IN THE BOTTOM OF THE TRUNK HERE

JUST BIG ENOUGH

FOR THE LINE.

THEN I GOT A SECOND BOX,

FILLED IT UP WITH COSTUME JEWELRY AND A DIAMOND WALLET

WITH SOME C.Z.s IN IT.

YOU KNOW, THEY DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB WITH THAT STUFF.

ONLY A JEWELER COULD TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

AND WHENEVER I WAS THE LEAST BIT WORRIED

ABOUT WHERE I WAS OR WHO WAS AROUND,

I PUT THE REAL DIAMONDS UNDERNEATH

AND THE DUMMY CASE ON TOP.

- SO THOSE ASSHOLES GOT THE DUMMY LINE?

- THEY CERTAINLY DID.

- AND THAT MEANS THAT YOU GOT THE REAL LINE.

- HEY, A MILLION DOLLARS AT WHOLESALE

GOES A LONG WAY DOWN HERE.

THEY WERE GETTING READY TO TOSS ME AWAY.

- I KNOW.

- THEY WERE GONNA TAKE THE OLD MAN

AND THROW HIM ON THE JUNK HEAP.

- YOU ARE NOT OLD, BABY.

- YOU'’RE JUST MATURE.

- OOH. SHE'’S GOOD.

- VERY GOOD. - YEAH, SHE'’S GREAT.

MY DAUGHTER IN SAN DIEGO COMES DOWN EVERY COUPLE OF WEEKS.

MY DAUGHTER FROM ENGLAND WILL BE HERE NEXT MONTH.

THIS IS HEAVEN.

WHAT IS IT?

- NOTHING.

NOTHING.

JUST TAKING IT ALL IN.

I DIDN'’T PLAN TO STEAL THOSE DIAMONDS.

IT JUST SORTA HAPPENED.

- I KNOW.

- JUST TURNED OUT THAT WAY.

- EDDIE,

I'’M GLAD YOU DID. I'’M HAPPY FOR YOU.

- AND KATIE?

THERE IS NO BETTER WOMAN.

AND I KNOW ABOUT THE BACKSIDE.

SHE TOLD ME THAT,

AND YOU KNOW, WE--

WE BOTH LEFT OUR PASTS BEHIND US.

YOU TRIED TO GET ME TO DO THAT.

I SHOULD'’VE LISTENED TO YOU.

AND SHE'’S TAUGHT ME SOME THINGS ABOUT SEX

THAT I'’LL BET YOU EVEN YOU DON'’T KNOW.

- I DON'’T KNOW IF I'’D GO THAT FAR.

- SO YOU WANNA DANCE WITH ME?

- I CERTAINLY DO. SEE?

I'’D GO OUT AND GET MYSELF A SENORITA, IF I WERE YOU.

THEY'’RE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

- I THINK I'’LL DO THAT.

- AHEM.

AHEM.