Original subtitles

The Funnybone's face, Funnybone's clothes

I look like a gentleman

Gentleman, a perfect gentleman

Funnybone's moustache, Funnybone's cap

You'll laugh and feel relaxed when you look at me

Funnybone's look, Potato's face

You know us by our strange outfits

Strange outfits...

I have a body like a wax gourd, and very short

Three pieces of hair on top of my head

Funnybone & Big Potato

We make the best of partners

When there's you, there's me

Having such a great time

Laugh out loud

Think positive

If you are troubled, lighten up

Too much worry will make you a fool

Hate her look

Hate her attitude

Keeps dropping her handkerchief on the ground

0.270833333333333

Potato, what's wrong with you ?

What is it?

Damn it, you keep farting in your sleep

Bloody hell, there you go again !

Smelly bean curd

Smells so good

Some sauce would be better

Chili sauce will do the trick

A little of that

Great, tasty and hot

Why did you bite my toes, Funnybone?

I was eating smelly bean curd in my dream

You mean my toes smell as bean curd?

Chili sauce?

Clean this up for me

I love you, baby

You're my precious babe

What are you doing?

Why did you bite me?

I dreamt of the fat girl, just wanted to kiss her

You dreamt of my cousin

It's 6:30 a.m.

Time to get up, it's bright sunlight

Why did you draw up the blinds?

How can I sleep?

It's time

Get up, Potato

Let's go for the morning exercise

No way. You go ahead yourself

I want to sleep in

Damn it

Let me use the UV light...

to cure your stinky feet

It works miracles

It hurts

Morning Exercise

The dragon

The dragon

The tiger

The crane

Crane

The snake

Not like this. Observe

Did you see me? Like this

Like this

The shoulder

And ... doggie

Nice

What are you doing?

Let me help you up

Don't be shy, miss

Are you harassing her?

None of your business

Snake

Crane

Tiger

You have guts. Come here

What's this? The Dog?

I invented this style, I'm Funnybone

Help... stop it

Get out of here

He doesn't look very kind

We might get ripped

He seems a puny little thing

Let's bully him

Having fun

Pay up

Fine, I will pay you. Don't hurt me

Here you go

What about you?

He gave you already. I have no money

Thanks

Don't make any noise

Why did you let him?

Funnybone

He robbed you of 200. Think that's funny ?

That's the stage prop bills used in movies

What's so funny?

I'm laughing because...

we got robbed

Sorry?

Then what's that to be so happy about?

You don't know

The two hundred dollars I gave him...

are props

That's why it's funny

Props

It's true

Of course

I've got some more, look

Look

It looks so real... here you go

Where do you keep the real thing?

Underneath my cap, of course

Freeze

Move your head over

Hold this

These are real, thanks

Why are you so stupid?

Why did you tell him?

How did I know ...

Hey, you forgot your gun ...

Shoot him, Funnybone

You'll only be charged as a murder suspect

Right

Freeze

It's a water pistol

Where are you going?

It's such fun

Cousin

It's you

Baby, I love you so much

You love me? I'm scared of you

I love you

Let go of me

Will you marry me?

Absolutely not

I love you, dear cousin

Help

Marry me, dear cousin

Why are you pulling me?

I like you

I've told you I don't like you

Cousin

Who'd wanna marry you, shortie !

Cousin

Where are you going?

Cousin

Where to?

Let go of me

Cousin

Where are you going?

You're heartless

Fat girl

Where are you?

Potato

Why are you hiding in a garbage can?

Has she gone?

I don't see her anywhere

Thank God !

Introduce her to me

Sure, I will

You must, thanks

Forcing your way onto the bus

All in order

Here's the bus

Wait for me

Wait for me

Get up

Let him sit here

Nice cap

Stop pushing

Hey, get in line

We don't have to queue

Why not?

Go

We're getting off, don't block the exit

Wait for me

Wait for me

Hey, didn't you see me?

What?

What are you doing?

Hey, didn't you see me?

How could you stop here?

Damn it

Hey, I haven't gone on the bus yet

Why do you close the door?

Wait

Here's the bus

Stop pushing

You think I can't make it?

I'm Funnybone, the resourceful one

Old man, you've to pay. Don't try this again

So? Are you alright?

Do you want me to call an ambulance?

Young man, you've a lot of nerve

There're so many cars on the road

You dare run into a police vehicle !

Didn't you see the red light?

Sorry

Driver's license

Yes sir

You deserve this

Be nice to the passengers from now on

You deserve this

It's time for work

Nine to Five

Morning

Mister, does this go to the fifth floor?

Yes

Fifth floor

Wait, let the old lady get in first

It's stuck, let me help you

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

No

Get out

I was trying to unhook that

Let's see if you dare do that again !

Manager Chiu

Funnybone, you're 15 minutes late

I'm 14 minutes 59.9 seconds late

If you're ever late again ...

I'll leave

What about this time?

The usual

Get to it then

What are you doing? I'm not done yet

Hey, watch it, Funnybone

Funnybone

Funnybone

What?

You may stop. The manager is looking for you

Come here, Funnybone

What is it?

Look

How did you calculate this?

Look at it

You smell awful

Did the Manager put you to the toilet job ?

Is that right?

The stench is getting to me

Perfume

Smells good

Who messed with my stuff?

I'm smelling great now

Funnybone

Miss Chen

You've messed with my stuff again

I'll call the police next time

Return it

Return it

Take it

Return it

Return it

Take it

That's enough

There's no need to be angry, Miss Chen

I'll take you to a movie tonight

I'm busy

Tomorrow night?

Busy

The night after tomorrow?

Busy

Miss Chen

Could you come over?

Type two copies for me

And one copy of this

Sure, I'll do it

Thanks

Be careful

Miss Chen, did you hurt your bum?

Help me out here

Sorry, I moved the chair for you

But then you ...

What are you doing?

Damn it

Damn it

I deserve this

I deserve this

Miss Chen, why the cigarette smell?

Manager...

Do you want a cup of tea, sir?

Hurry

Let go

Manager, I wanted to bring you a cup of tea

But you know things happen

Who left the mouse trap here?

I did

You're fired

Please don't do that

I have a mother, two fathers

three wives, four mistresses,

... five sons, five daughters

You can't fire me, sir

Please give him a second chance, sir

Move away

Is this yours, manager?

Have this dispatched to the manager of Yamamoto Co.

Mr. Hiroshi

Mr. Hiroshi ?

Yes

Who's he?

He's Japanese

Japanese

What are you doing?

Oh, got to pull this to open

You think it's strange?

Not all doors are to be pushed in

Pull

Who are you looking for?

The manager

Inside

Hello... he's gone out

Push or pull?

That's right

We're both wrong

The manager told me to give this to you, miss

You are very young for a manager

You've got it wrong

I'm not the manager, he's inside

Thanks

Push or pull, miss?

Pull, nuts

Pull

What is it?

I'm your dad

Thank you

Many thanks

Thank you

Many thanks

Many thanks

Thank you

Many thanks

Thank you

Many thanks

Thank you

Many thanks

Thank you

Many thanks

Thank you

Hi, many hair

Did you insult me?

The Japanese said so

The Ghost

I'm a burring passion

Light up the whole desert

It's a ghost... please help

Help

There's a ghost

What's the matter with you?

You almost scared me

I've seen a ghost

You are crazy

A ghost during the day?

Don't you believe me?

You'll see one soon

I don't believe you

It's a ghost !

Got Fired

I'm a burning passion

What?

Miss Chen, can I borrow your pen?

Here you go

Thank you

Thanks

Bye, thank you, bye ...

Manager

Bye

Shut up

Do I hire you to work...

or dance here?

Get back to work

Yes, sir

Miss Chen, please come in my office

Funnybone, Miss Chen will be in trouble

Funnybone, after Miss Chen walks in

She won't come out alive

Miss Chen, I admire you

I'd like to have dinner with you

Who is it?

Funnybone

Manager, I need your signatures

Don't worry

Take it

This one

Don't panic, I'm here

And this one...

Also this

Leave them here and get out

Yes, sir

Where were we?

Miss Chen, I admire you

I'd like to have dinner with you

Then we'll go dancing

And we'll go for a night snack afterwards

After that ...

Manager, oh no!

Water bill

Electricity bill

Sauna bill

Get out

Let's continue

Miss Chen, I admire you

I'd like to have dinner with you

Then we'll go dancing

And we'll go for a night snack afterwards

Night snack?

After that ...

We'll go to the Night Pearl Love Motel

Scrub and clean, saves water and energy

Please use the Matchmaker brand... excuse me

The magic detergent

Scrub

Scrub and clean, saves water and energy

Get out

You! Funnybone!

Go to hell!

You're unbelievable!

You're very busy, sir

Maybe we'll continue later

Don't worry

Continue

Miss Chen, I ...

I admire you a lot

Right ...

Miss Chen, I admire you

I'd like to have dinner with you

Then we'll go dancing

Are you taking down the place?

I can't push this door open

Guess it must be locked

I was worried...

about you two being locked inside

I wanted to take a look

Damn you !

Funnybone, what are you doing?

Fighting over a girl with the manager?

My family jewels

Sorry, I didn't mean it

What was that, Funnybone?

You should be careful

Excuse me, move away, it's dangerous

Sorry...

Funnybone, I know you're heart broken

But you don't need to hurt my bum

I didn't know it'll go that way

I thought it'll go the other way

Truly sorry

Can't believe you

Nothing's working

What now, Funnybone? My foot

Leave me alone

What did I ever do to you?

It's all your fault

What's going on?

It fell from upstairs

Who's trying to kill us?

I won't spare you if I caught you

It won't be that easy

Hot

So cool

What are you doing?

Funnybone

Turn it off

Hey, don't blow the papers away

Turn it off

Turn it off

Why did you hit me? I didn't tell him to do it

Funnybone

Please don't hurt me

You old fool

You did this on purpose

I will kill you

I didn't mean it, help

Help

Damn it

Sorry, didn't intend to

Oh, you pour it on me

Sorry

I'll get even

I'll get even

My special cocktail

Are you alright, Miss Chen?

I'm fine

Shut up

For you

For you

This is for you

Who started this?

Him ... Funnybone

Not me

It's him

Not me

I knew it, you're fired

You wouldn't dare

Why not?

Because I'll tell your wife, the tigress

Sorry?

What did I say ? Listen carefully

You went to the love motel with a young lady

Slept in an electrical round bed

How did you know?

Manager, about your little secret

Of course I'd know

Let me tell you

I can tell the sex of a fly

Do you believe me?

You wouldn't dare to tell my wife

I've already told her

Don't bluff

I'm not, she's here

She's here

Hey, give me a hand here

I've dropped everything

She's really here?

Dear

Hurry

Coming

What are you doing here at this hour?

Am I not welcome?

You bum

I'm here to check if you were cheating on me

Funnybone

Yes ma'am

Is he acting funny...

around the secretary outside?

Tell me frankly

Let me tell you

Go on

He and his secretary

I'll raise your salary, $600 more

That's not enough

Hurry

$1000 more

That's more like it

He's gone out with his secretary Miss Chen

Sorry?

Let me be more specific

The three of us ran into some robbers

At least I know kung fu

I took care of things

No problem

Yes, Funnybone is a kung fu expert

Come here, have a cigar

Funnybone, I'll promote you tomorrow

Now that I remember

I'm broke, but I need to buy something later

Give me your cheque book

Sure

Your Majesty

Take my stuff back home

Yes

Funnybone

Yes ma'am

Keep an eye on him for me

If he tries anything funny

Give me a call

I'll keep an eye on him

Bye

Manager

You've raised my salary

What do you want me to do?

What? I plan to kick you out

Let go ...

I forgot something

What's that?

My hand bag, that's right

Funnybone, I promote you to be the Assistant Manager

Assistant?

With a bonus two-month pay every year

Alright, I'll think about it

Here it is, I have a bad memory

Pick me up at the salon tonight

Yes, bye

Fine, I'll take your offer

But on one condition

Miss Chen will be my secretary

Look at him

What's going on?

Funnybone, why are you packing?

I think you got fired

No, I got promoted

To Assistant Manager

Really?

I'll enjoy air conditioning in his office from now on

Seriously?

Miss Chen, I'm now the Assistant Manager

Can I take you out to tea?

I'll meet you later at the Botanical Garden

Come to me if any of you want a raise

What's going on?

What?

Are you alright?

So you're not the Assistant Manager

Got fired and got a bump on my forehead

In a Chinese restaurant

Potato, there's a table

Really?

Mr. Chin, there's a table

A table?

There's a table

What a nice guy

Sit

We're lucky

Waiter, clean the table

Yes

Waiter

Not yet, the customer hasn't asked for the bill

Not asked for the bill?

He's gone to the bathroom

Don't panic, I've a plan

Are you sure?

Sure

What a careless man

You're on fire

What time is it, mister?

Two o'clock

You should head back to work

Do-Re-Me-Fa-So-La-Ti

Now we have the table

No chairs

Look for chairs

I'll guard our table

You go ahead

Alright

I'll go too

Chair

Another one

Finally

Time to order

BBQ pork buns

Excuse me, miss

Bring us something to eat

Yes

Also ...

We can't eat without tea

Never mind

So what do you want to tell me?

You know about Miss Lin

I don't know how to woo her

I need help

Potato, it's the same case for me and Miss Chen

Help us out

Here're my special plans for you, one each

Yours

Yours

Don't open it now

Only open it when you really need it

You'll succeed

Tea

Come on

Have some more

Mine

Have some more

The bill please

Twelve fifty together

Ten dollars

Two dollars

Fifty cents

No tips?

What? I've paid

So?

Let's go

Useless buggers

The Mastermind Plan

Miss Chen

Here I come

What's the matter?

You're meeting Miss Lin?

Here?

Why can't I?

Don't do this again

Coming ...

Act according to the plan

Miss Lin, let's go over there

Nice figure

Miss Chen

Why are you staring at Miss Lin?

Is she your date? Or I am?

You, of course

Let's go over there, Miss Chen

There's something ...

that I want to tell you

Go ahead

It's embarrassing

Why?

Go on, only the two of us here, tell me

Please take these flowers

Plastic flowers?

They won't wither

They represent our love

The love will last forever

Miss Chen

I fear that you'll refuse me

I won't, we're friends

Then I've got the courage

I ... I ...

What do you want to say?

It's embarrassing

It's ok, go ahead

I will

Miss Chen, I want to ...

I want to ask you ...

I want to ask you ...

to lend me two hundred dollars for my rent

Funnybone, you asked me out...

so that I can lend you money for rent?

I got fired, you know that

I don't have money for rent next month

Take it

Miss Chen, wait a minute

You have nothing else to say, I'm off now

Miss Chen, I want to speak to you

Please bear with me, Miss Chen

I want to talk to you

Miss Chen, let's have a chat

Sexy

I'm a burning passion

Light up the whole desert

I'm a burning passion

Light up the whole desert

How do you do?

Miss Chen... wait

Miss Chen, don't go

Bye, Miss Chen

Don't be angry

Miss Chen, marry me

I have tuberculosis, 3rd stage

You still want to propose?

It's alright

I've got leprosy, fourth stage

We're the perfect match

Wait

French kiss

French kiss

I'm French

What are you doing ?

French kiss is so exciting

I can't take it

Act lovingly

Miss Lin, look at me

Are you nuts? What's with the face?

You think I'm Brigitte Lin?

Come closer

What's with the pretense?

Miss Lin, you are my sunshine

Miss Lin, you are my oxygen

Kiss me or I will beat you up

My mom said I'm too young to kiss

Damn you

Funnybone, what's wrong with you?

Leave me alone

Miss Chen, wait

Chinese Kung Fu

Enter the Dragon

The Way of the Dragon

The Love Marathon

Get set, ready

What are you doing? I don't want to run

You can run alone

Let's go, Miss Lin

Let go of me

What are you doing ?

Miss Lin, I want to kiss you

I want to love you

I want to cherish you

Go to hell

You think you're Alan Tang?

Kick you good

Take action first and explain later

Hey, sexy lady

What are you doing with the knife?

Don't move

Come with me to the toilet

What for?

Not going to pee

If you don't go...

Then I'll stab you

Didn't you hear ?

Help...

Don't run

Last Tango of Paris

What are you doing?

Let go of me

Help

Let go of me

Let go...

What are you doing?

I'm getting sick

Let go

Stand still ...

Help

You aren't going anywhere

Stand still ...

Come here

It's a disaster

Same here

It's not going well at all

I look like a horny man

We must have swapped the envelopes, oh no

Take this

Take this

That's what happened

What now, Funnybone?

Don't worry, we'll start again

Miss Lin, I love you

Now you're talking

Miss Chen, I'm sorry

I acted like that out of love

Miss Chen, I love you

I want to cherish you

You're precious

Miss Chen, you are my life

You are my soul

Really?

Yes

Cousin, don't run

Poor me

You should listen to me

I love you every day

I love you 365 years

I can't stand it for just one day

Funnybone, you have another woman

It's over between us

Miss Chen

I love you, dear cousin

Litter Bug

What are you doing?

What's wrong with you?

Mrs. Xing, please take a look

There's a fat girl...

running after me

Damn

There's no fat woman

Are you mistaken ?

Which fat girl is chasing you ?

Thank God !

What's the matter with you?

Shouldn't you be glad if there's a woman after you?

I think other men will be thrilled

You have no idea

My cousin is as big as a mountain

And she's as heavy as an elephant

If I take her as my wife

It would be nice in the winter

But I'll die in the summer

Are you serious?

Have I ever lied to you?

My phone, I'll see you later

Funeral home, did anyone die ?

Sorry, Mr. Chin

I thought it's a wrong number

What? Swimming?

Tomorrow? What time?

Sure, I'll come with Potato tomorrow

See you

Wang, I want a bowl of congee

No spring onions, two pieces of fried dough

Sure

So many roaches here

Fine, I'll let you go

See where you're going

The roaches breed like rabbits

Take it upstairs to Funnybone

Yes

Funnybone, your congee

Leave it on the table

Sure

Thanks

Eek... Roaches !

People don't have business spirit these days

I didn't ask for a roach-congee

Wang, here you go

What the hell?

Funnybone, you litterbug

You are so inconsiderate

Look Funnybone

You threw rubbish out on the street

I'm soaked

So?

You should put the rubbish in the rubbish bin

You are so stupid, Potato

It's the rubbish bin out the window

You are a litterbug

What if I am?

If everyone does that...

then Hong Kong will become Rubbish Central

Potato, you're lucky that...

I didn't throw a bottle out

You think I'm the only one...

who is doing this?

Everyone does that

Let's ask our viewers

Our viewers...

aren't as inconsiderate as you

They won't throw rubbish on the streets

This has gone bad

Again?

Jaws

Stop running

Don't catch me

What are you doing?

You terrible man

I caught the crab for you

It was kindly meant

Thanks

It's done, Jenny

Have some soup

He peed

Beat him up

Stinky

Don't run ...

What's this?

Someone's changing

Are you nuts?

Sorry

What's going on over there?

I wonder

Manager Chiu and his friends

They got bullied

Let's go help

Shark ...

Help, shark

Help

Shark

They are all scared of the shark

So?

You're good, Funnybone

That's right

Thanks, kids

You're welcome

Let's go

You're good, Funnybone

Stop it

I'll treat you to dinner

For real?

Yes

Yes?

Treat us to dinner

When?

Listen

I'll treat you to a shark-fin dinner

Sharks fin dinner

Manager Chiu, you said a sharks fin dinner

What's this? Steamed Shark?

It's better than the garoupa

After you've had this

It's good for your health

Exactly, he is right

If you don't believe me

Let's ask our audience

They've just had fish-ball noodle outside the cinema

Is that right, friends?

Yes

Everyone agrees

Let's try it

Come on

Eating the shark, it's good for you

Come on

Cheers

Let's start

Let's have a drink

That's more like it

What's wrong, Funnybone?

We're all having a good time

Why are you crying?

I don't want to live anymore

Why not?

You are all in pairs

It's over between me and Miss Chen

Never mind, don't cry

This is a happy occasion

Cheer up, Funnybone

I have a plan

Take a few bottles of Lysol to Miss Chen's place

Propose to her. If she turns you down...

drink the Lysol and jump out of her window

Sorry?

You want me to commit suicide?

Drink coke as Lysol

Just pretend you'll jump

All women will buy that

Really?

The Proposal

The Funnybone's face, Funnybone's clothes

I look like a gentleman

Gentleman, a perfect gentleman

Funnybone's moustache, Funnybone's cap

Are you alright, Funnybone?

I'm fine

I'm here to propose to Miss Chen

Good luck, bye

Bye

It's here

Miss Chen

What are you doing here?

I'm here to propose marriage to you

Propose? Plastic flowers again?

More economical, can recycle

I love you, Miss Chen

I love you, Miss Chen

I love your heart, I love your lungs

I love your thighs, I love your bum

I love your toes

You're my heater in the winter

My air conditioner in summer

My warm duvet

My soft pillow

I love you, Miss Chen

I love you so much

Will you marry me, Miss Chen?

Oh, it's come to that !

Come here

Yes?

Alright

When's the wedding banquet?

What ? Get out of here

You ...

Oh, Yama... Oh, king of hell

Please don't send me to hell

I've always been a kind person

I donate 10 cents for charity

I take one step in charity walk

Though I've never participated in community work

Farewell, Miss Chen

Although we can't be a couple at this lifetime

I'm willing to be your servant in my next life

Remember Miss Chen

I'm 5'4" in height

4'5" in width

Remember to put a color TV in my coffin

And an air conditioner

Also

Bring Vanda Miss Joaquim

Vanda Miss Joaquim?

The orchid, Singapore's national flower

Funnybone

I don't care if you want to die

It's over...

My precious

I'll see you in my next life time

Cheers

Wait, if you want to die quickly ...

What ?

It's not enough just by drinking Lysol

Pesticides, dish washing liquid

Bleach, DDT

Then you're on your way

Miss Chen

How can you be so cold?

Do you want me to call the emergency line?

Send for an ambulance?

You are terrible ...

You are heartless

You are the ice princess

I'll die now

Heartless

I'll show you

It's high up here

Yes, I promise you

I don't believe you

I mean it

Really?

Yes

Help

Help

Help

Pull me up

Come on

More strength

Get up here

Coming

Get up here

Give it all you've got

Jeez, so high !

Stealing the Groom

Please have a seat

Please have a seat

Let's have a drink

Congratulations, Funnybone

I think I'll take credit for this

Do you agree?

Stop it

Ladies and gentlemen ...

Let us get the groom

Funnybone will tell us about...

his love story with Miss Chen

What do you say?

Yes

Yes or no?

Funnybone, come on

Thanks everyone

Dear guests

With such an applause

Today ...today

Winds coming in from all directions

What's with him?

With occasional showers

Temperature of 66 degrees outside

And 99 degrees indoors

What's that got to do with the weather?

According to the Hong Kong Observatory

Typhoon Princess is reaching Hong Kong soon

Here's the typhoon

Who are they?

That's my cousin

Cousin?

The more the merrier

Funnybone, introduce her to me

No, I'm afraid

I want to, please

No ...

What are you doing here, fat cow?

To steal your groom

Steal Funnybone?

So?

What?

Step aside

Find Funnybone

Cousin

Help

Don't be so mean, cousin

You're marrying her? No way

Come with me

Marry me

Go

Help

Spare me

My pants

Let me hide first

Damn it

I'm fine

Stop it

It's messier than the United Nations

Dear audience, goodbye, we'll see you next time

Funnybone, that hurts. Wait for me

A Merry Time

I have a good laugh

You have a good laugh

Let's all have a good laugh

Lighten up if you're angry

Laugh more and you'll live longer

Funnybone is smart

So is Big Potato

We bring you laughter

Clap and hold hands

Laugh more and you'll live longer

We'll resolve more issues next time