Original subtitles

Moving is rated one of the most dreadful life experiences, right along with

divorce. But I was crushing both.

I found a new place closer to the hospital, and Elliot and I were finally

getting along.

And I think you should proceed with the radioembolization.

Yeah, and I agree with Dr. Reed. She's the best.

I am.

Rushing it at being divorced?

I think we're in the honeymoon phase of our failed marriage.

It's amazing that we can agree on a treatment plan for a guy's liver mass.

we were married, we could not order a pizza together. Yeah, and now you can

scarf down as much disgusting ham and hot fruit pizza as you want.

Just ordered Hawaiian on the weekend?

What'd you do? Well, since I have Ollie next weekend, I finally put his bed

together. I've actually become quite handy.

I think it was a slight concussion. I blacked out for a bit. But when I

came to, the whole thing had been put together.

It's okay. It's not like I had anything better to do. Oh, I get it. When Ollie's

with you, I feel a little bit lonely, too. I mean, throwing a bottle of

Chardonnay and I am just holding the dog and crying.

You have a dog now?

It's the neighbors.

Ah. If you want to do something fun instead of tragic, I'm going to a rave

Friday with my friend.

Maybe I should try something like that.

I'm in. Okay, we'll pick you up at midnight.

Midnight at night?

I'm out.

Hey. Are you okay, Amara? Because I got a text that said run over here right

damn now.

Yeah, I told Deshauna this wasn't an emergency and we shouldn't say that, so

took my phone and texted you with it.

Nishes get stitches.

They do. These medical interns keep dumping patients on us like the surgical

department is their daycare. Do we look like the babysitter's club to you?

Kinda, yeah. Look, guys, surgical and medical have always had beef, so figure

that out on your own. Okay, but hold on. No, no.

We're not going to do that. I have patients texting me, and I have three

daughters texting me about money and rides to soccer and more money.

Four daughters texting me.

And I got a wife who's picked up extra shifts and says I need to help out more

at home. What I don't need right now is two more females tricking me into

running my ass off and getting more steps than I need.

Got me all sweaty down.

I told you we shouldn't say that.

Hey, Bubba.

You know how I love and respect all women, right?

Are there any women up in here? There's a pretty gal upstairs, but I haven't had

the courage to say hello yet.

Well, don't. I'm so sick of the women in my life, J .D. How come each and every

one of them is trying to get me to do something?

Don't look at me. I was team vasectomy.

Worst part about it is, because Carla's working so much, I can't even ask for a

little something -something in return, if you know what I mean.

Sex? Yeah, J .D.

Sex. Well done.

She used to get worked up by Bridgerton.

But the new season doesn't come out for another year. Spring 2027.

Just so worn out.

Man, I've missed this.

You and me just getting real about life.

Let's turn this place into our feelings dojo. I want to order a loveseat,

candles, and two cozy weighted blankets on Amazon.

There's so many choices.

Are we thinking faux fur or Sherpa fleece? Bro, I'm thinking I live with a

of women. Let's get a poker table.

Turk, you beautiful bald bastard. That's it.

We'll do a poker night like in the old days. That's what I'm saying. This is

start of a whole new chapter for me. No more sad sack. Full on fun sack.

That's what I'm talking about, right? We're going to turn this place into a

brojo. A brojo.

Here we go, y 'all.

I'm never going home. It gets even better. It does?

I got a roommate.

What?

Joey!

I'm your new neighbor, T .G. I was just telling Turk about you.

What you watching?

I can't do this all on my own. No, I know.

I'm no Superman.

I'm no Superman.

I gotta say, Sacred Heart seems like a completely different place.

For example, some employees aren't even human.

Morning, little supply bot!

The janitor likes me. Morning, Chief.

Morning. You're in for poker tonight, right?

Oh, you bet.

I'm skipping my daughter's play to be there. Oh, don't do that.

Oh, it's fine. She's 25, and it's waiting for Godot. Oh, more like waiting

home, am I right?

You get me. We get each other.

I should probably learn his name.

As for the interns, instead of getting pushed into burnout, they're now pushed

into mental health. Hey, Sibby, why a wellness room?

I'm so happy you asked.

Nobody asked. Research shows, drumroll, that activities such as meditation and

block building help reduce stress. She wants us to play with blocks.

Apparently. The room is now open for organized relaxation.

Can we go now?

Yeah, get the hell out.

But some things never change.

Turk and I were hanging like old times. Too cheap.

We're all set, bro.

Once I feed the kids, I'm going to take them to practice and I'm going to drop

them off at sleepovers.

Carla has a shift at urgent care, but that gives me a four -hour window for

poker party. Come on!

Did someone say poker?

I'm in.

Sorry, Hooch, I actually don't have a seat for you.

Oh, I wasn't asking.

I'll bring the bean.

Hooch is legitimately crazy. Out of his damn mind.

Hey! Did you really just dump another patient on us? Okay, first of all, he

spiked a fever. Okay, that means you medheads have to admit him. Just because

you talk with your hands doesn't make it okay. Okay, first of all, bring your

hands down. And the age -old battle between surgical and medical rages on.

Check out our kids having their first fight.

Should we fire up our parental voices? Yep.

Okay, kids, shut down. That's enough. Don't make us turn this whole hospital

around. He'll do it. Get over here. Get over here. Right now.

Deshana, I saw that.

These photos are sick.

Did you wear your scrub the entire time you were in Ibiza? I partied at night,

but during the day I did help little kids with dysentery.

Ibiza has everything.

Take me back.

Okay, wait, let's follow each other. Okay, Dr. Selfie, not exactly what I

by take it away.

Oh, okay, well, sorry. This is Mr. Nichols. He's 27. He's admitted with

fainting, bleeding gums, and bruising, and he's asking us to accommodate his

special diet. Oh, of course. Are you vegan, vegetarian, gluten -free?

Tarzan. What now?

He's talking about the Tarzan diet. It's like all over TikTok.

All organic, low carbs, maximum protein.

He has a whole page devoted to it. Check out this video. He's crushing a 14 egg

omelet. Like what?

That was actually insane, brah. It's doctor, brah. And that's probably why he

passed out at the gym. You need more than protein.

The Tarzan diet is how our ancestors ate. I'm surprised I have to explain

to a doctor.

My ancestors weren't Tarzan. Tarzan is a fictional character.

I wouldn't be so sure. They did make a movie about his life.

Oh, I love this room, Vivi.

When I was an intern, all we had for stress relief was crying in the supply

closet. Oh, well, I learned all these techniques at a seminar.

But I guess I got bed bugs at an airport motel for nothing because the interns

don't want to come in here.

They think I'm weird.

You're not weird.

Thanks. I'm going to ring the affirmation gong now.

Do I have to stay here until that ends? Yeah, don't talk.

This feud between medical and surgical has been going on since we were interns

and long before that. But it all ends today. As your chief of surgery and your

chief of medicine, we are going to show you how to consult on a patient

together. Today, med and surge merge.

You guys don't charge me per doctor, do you? No, Mr. Johnson, this is a teaching

hospital. Oh, cool.

I have a new kid at home. Could you please keep me alive?

Yes, we will, Daryl. Mr. Johnson is presenting with lower right quadrant

Let's examine the patient.

Okay, you go first. I think that you're going to teach me something maybe I

don't know. I'd love to show you something, but I think that you might be

to show me. I knew what they were trying to say.

I would enjoy if the two of us removed our clothing and smushed all over each

other. I'm aware of that and have similar feelings, which is why I

laugh too hard at your mediocre jokes.

May I have this dance?

Oh, my God.

D -Train, put a minute on the clock, please. Thank you. Let's show these

how it's done.

He has rebound tinnitus. I'm thinking appendicitis. And based on medical's

complete history and physical, we noted a productive cough and thick pneumonia.

Although my surgical expertise is being questioned, I welcome it because it's

best for the patient. Let's run some tests. Time. 15 seconds.

Damn. That's how we do. Yeah, that was way more impressive than whatever this

was.

It's the med -surge merge.

Yeah.

Oh, good.

I was just going to buzz you guys. Can you switch my IV so I can work my other

arm? How about instead we work on getting you healthy, okay?

Mr. Nichols, your 21st century TikTok diet has given you one of the oldest

diseases known to man.

You have scurvy.

That's crazy, because I'm incredibly healthy.

You'll get it from malnutrition.

Scurvy can lead to tooth loss, bleeding eyes, and heart failure. Or it could

not, because it's also a super easy fix, right, Dr. Reed? Correct. Dr. Tosh, you

need to add citrus fruits to your diet. Which could be super fun. And hello,

farmer's market, right? You could be like the hottest guy there. Plus, all

girls at the farmer's market are super liberated.

You know what I mean?

I can't maintain 6 % body fat eating fruit.

You do you, Tarzan.

Oh, one tip, though. Might be tough to tear into a steak with only four teeth.

You don't strike me as the poker type. You seem like a Bananagrams guy.

Blake, my boy, there's a whole lot you don't know about me. Watch these hands.

Done a whole lot of dancing on the green felt. My old poker nights with Dr.

Turk were pretty crazy.

Damn, that's what I'm talking about!

Hey, play my song.

Those were some of the best times of my life.

Sibby, hey, girl. You know how to throw them cards?

Poker night, tonight, my house. You in?

Poker?

No, I don't gamble.

What's the game? Five card stud, Texas Hold 'em. What's the buy -in? Are there

buybacks, cash game, or winner takes all?

No, I don't gamble.

I'm sorry. I need to go make a phone call to the... She'll

be there.

Yes, she will.

I feel sorry for him.

I feel sorry for us.

You're a doctor. I've been a doctor for 20 years. He goes like this for 30

seconds on the toilet, and suddenly he knows more than us. I mean, we're just

trying to help him. I know, but every patient in here uses their phone for

medical advice. It's kind of the world now.

And Sam, I don't like you enabling patients like that.

So when we're rounding, I don't want to hear or see your social media. Phones

are turning people into brain -dead idiots.

I'm not a brain -dead idiot.

No, of course you're not.

I'd like to take you seriously as a doctor, and right now I'm not sure

given me a reason to.

Dr. Turk, now, I'm not sure how things worked in the 1900s, but you can't make

interns do personal stuff. To you, it looks like you're helping me pack snacks

for my kids' softball game, but secretly, I am teaching you a profound

life lesson.

Okay, you're just making this up as you go along, aren't you?

Lesson one, always think on your feet. Well done, Deshauna. You want kids?

I do, but...

Like most women surgeons, I'm freezing my eggs. Okay, well, before you hit the

frost on those bad boys, just know this is what your life is going to look like.

Surgeons are much different than medical. We're always on call.

And every time you run out that door, someone's always disappointed.

Damn. Well, so how do you make it all work?

Oh, well, you don't.

Like right now, my best friend wants me at poker night, but Carla's shift just

got canceled and she wants me home.

I bet you miss these, Papi. I mean, she really wants me home.

Okay, yeah, I think this lesson is done.

No, not so fast, young Padawan. There's one last thing no surgeon likes to do,

but we do it anyway.

Give bad news.

Dr. Turk's wife sent him some freaky pictures and now he's not going to be a

poker. He said he will, quote, be hitting that. I'm sorry for your loss.

Aces over Aces. You know what that... I mean, fool.

Can we deal the next hand, please?

Just serve the dip, bitch.

Oh, man.

Hey, I drank too much. Is it okay if I crash here?

That's definitely going to be a no.

When Kirk had sex after a dry patch, he wouldn't tell anyone, but there would be

signs.

Good morning, sacred heart.

Scratches for everybody. If I get lucky, you get lucky. Scratcher for you.

Scratcher for you.

Oh, Francois Dubois, scratcher for you. Thank you, King. Yes, Queen.

Here you go, scratcher for you, Miss Sibby.

I need a win. I need a win.

Thanks for nothing.

Hey, Blake, lean back.

I'm going to make it rain.

Scratcher, scratcher, scratcher, scratcher, scratcher.

Hey, how's it going? Something tells me you got lucky last night.

You know a brother don't kiss and tell, but after the, yeah.

How'd it go last night? I'm sorry I had to bail. Just like the good old days.

Really? No.

I'm in the hole, man.

Please don't flip it. It's brand new. It's behind me.

You gotta live with your legs, baby. No, no, no. No.

So Sibby tried to flip a table? Damn.

Yeah. Your next poker night's gonna be amazing because I'm gonna be there.

cool, right?

Turk's your best friend.

You can tell him how you really feel. I can't believe you had an intern tell me.

This was supposed to be the start of a new chapter of my life, and you

me.

That's what you get.

Yeah, we're cool.

Oh, I didn't know you were a religious.

Oh, no, I'm not. I found this in a patient's room. I'm using it to hide my

phone. Dr.

Reed is, like, all over me about it, but I have this feeling there's something

else wrong with a patient, so I'm doing a deep dive on his socials.

I think that's really great, Tosh.

I've read that book. He dies and comes back in the end. Amara, we gotta go.

I was pissed at Turk, but I still had to set a great example for our interns.

We're still waiting for the chest CT, but the initial CRX confirms that Daryl

here has pneumonia, like I thought, and not appendicitis, like Dr. Turk

mistakenly thought. But that's okay, because I always have his back, even

he doesn't have mine.

Okay.

What Dr. Dorian is trying to say is we don't have to cut you. Unlike his words,

which I believe were meant to cut me. No, that's a first. A surgeon diagnosed

something correctly.

Medical, roll out.

Hey, let me borrow it real quick.

I'll pray for you.

Dr. Turk, my phone.

Yeah, this changes really hard on both of us. But you've got to figure out your

new normal.

What's that about? Nothing, just Dr. Selfie being more interested in DMing

patients than diagnosing them. Dr.

Selfie? Starting to sound a little like Dr.

Cox.

Dr. Cox was hard on me, but he taught us how to do things the right way. He also

called you Barbie and undermined your confidence for years.

Don't you remember how that made you feel?

She's really smart.

I mean, keep an eye on her, but give her a chance to do it her way.

Okay, let's do this. Now I need to handle my own drama with a little

Do people actually know you learned that at magic camp? I didn't go to magic

camp, Turk. I went to Chris Angel's sleight of hand symposium for wooing

Look,

it sucks you blew off my poker night for sex.

I needed to be with Carla.

Things are hard for me, J .D. Work, marriage, kids. I got a lot of pressure.

Takes a lot out of me to keep it all going.

Dr. Reed.

I know you said no phones and you're probably going to call me Dr. Selfie

No, I won't. Go ahead. Show me. The stuff on Logan's page is really

You see that?

I used to be that fat loser. And I would rather die than go back to being him.

So this is post after post like this?

Yeah. This isn't just about some fad diet. I think it could be some kind of

eating disorder.

You're right.

He's so obsessed with healthy eating, it's become a compulsion and made him

sick.

It could be orthorexia, and I missed it.

That was a really good catch, Dr. Tosh.

Honestly, I'm just, I'm tired of hearing how overwhelmed you are by your big,

happy family and your wife that loves you when I spend half my time completely

alone. I wish that I had your problems.

You sure about that? Because I never get to be alone.

Last week, I got stuck in the stairwell. I didn't call for help. I just stood

there at ease.

So yeah, maybe I'd love just a little of your problems.

Radiology called up. It's about your pneumonia patient.

One of the things that didn't change about this place is that it has a way of

bringing people back together.

Orthorexia is a relatively new eating disorder.

We're going to help you get through this.

Unfortunately, sometimes it's the hard moments that mend us.

So the pain was mimicking appendicitis due to the shared neural pain pathways.

But it turned out to be a post -obstructive pneumonia caused by that

mass.

So Daryl has lung cancer.

He just had a baby.

It's so awful.

So who's going to tell him?

Surgical or medical?

When things like this happen, we suddenly see everything just a bit

Tell Nora Uncle JD says I hope she hits a home run. All those things that felt

overwhelming, with a little perspective, suddenly feel like a gift.

You want to come?

I mean, there's a divorced mom who drinks Chardonnay out of a Stanley cup

wears no bra. I'm pretty sure you two will hit it off. Sounds like a great

mistake. Maybe another time.

You know what? Give her my number.

Already did.

See you tomorrow?

Yeah, man.

And too much time alone feels like an opportunity to be there for someone

Oh, hey, Dr. Dorian.

Hey. This week sucked.

I'm getting hammered.

You win?

Sure.

I don't have anything else going on.

Appletini's on me.

Oh, I will not be having that. But if you are catching a check, let's go.

I've never tried an Appletini before.

I've never finished a whole drink before.

Well, I hope you two like older women, because tonight you're hooking up with

Granny Smith.

Okay, now everybody, take it slow. I ordered these easy on the teeny, but the

sugar in these things can still make you look crazy.

Thanks for buying, Dr. Dorian. I'm a little late till my next paycheck.

Hey, what do you guys got there?

Is there an eight ball, nine ball?

Damn, am I in a city?

Okay, just one for me, then I got a date with my couch and a little movie star

named Sandra Bullock.

I know they're just kids, but it's nice to find a little community.

The best part is they have no idea just how bad an Appletini hangover is.

Pinky out. Little slow sips.