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You're not going anywhere, you're done, you suck.

You've lost it, you're all talk.

You're not who you claim to be, you're boujie.

Hey! My cousin's a rapper! Can you take a picture with my aunt?

♪ You wanted it, you got it Now live with it ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it Now live with it ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it ♪

♪ The press and the covers People who stop you in the street ♪

♪ Disgusting photos Without your knowledge ♪

♪ The aggresive guy Who takes out his phone and insults you ♪

♪ The redneck court Who have no proof and judge you ♪

♪ You wanted to be hotshit So don't complain when it burns ♪

♪ No more half measures You're either a genious or you suck ♪

♪ They give you convictions You've never had ♪

♪ If you don't behave how they want They're dissapointed ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it You took a piece of yourself, sold it ♪

♪ You write So basically you're their whore ♪

♪ You stole from your parents For advertising ♪

♪ So thet the heating engineer Gives you a discount ♪

♪ The hate online, you get used to it ♪

♪ From time to time you get one ♪

♪ With a layer of truth That sends you over the edge ♪

♪ You get depressed and torture yourself You wanted it, you got it ♪

♪ Selfies at the funeral Of your grandfather ♪

♪ The "Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt But I do it anyway" ♪

♪ The father who takes out his camera ♪

♪ The buddies who insut him In front of his kids, you temper ♪

♪ You wanted it, The AI interpretations ♪

♪ The weird quotes That you didn't really say ♪

♪ The "You're gaining weight You're ugly, you don't age well" ♪

♪ You say it doesn't matter but Facing the mirror, you feel pathetic ♪

♪ You start mixing up the real you With your image ♪

♪ You're handsome on camera You don't like your real face anymore ♪

♪ You wanted it Those who climb over the fence ♪

♪ Ring your doorbell Ask the neighbors if you live there ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it Cameras, flashes ♪

♪ Death threats, burglaries ♪

♪ The omnipresence of fans Takes a piece of your soul ♪

♪ People who criticize The body of your wife ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it Now live with it ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it Now live with it ♪

♪ You wanted it, you got it ♪

Do you believe in the brain's power of projection?

What do you mean?

When I was, like, 12 or 13,

before falling asleep,

I'd imagine that when I'd wake up, I'd be a great singer.

Like, I'd have long hair, I would be on stage.

And what's crazy is, it came true.

And what's even crazier...

is I don't care anymore.

So you didn't like tonight?

I did, it was cool.

It was incredible, even.

But once it's over,

all that's left is responsibilities, hassles, criticism... People.

Do what you did when you were 12.

Project yourself into another dream.

-Ah, there it is. -Yeah.

Excuse me. Where is "Ume Street", please?

Oh... Ah, first, turn right past the rice fields,

then take the next left.

Go about 800 meters

and turn right at the second corner. You’ll see a bridge.

-Yes. -Cross it, turn left,

and keep going for about two kilometers. You’ll come out onto that road.

Thank you very much.

I didn't understand a word he said.

Take a left after the rice fields.

Don't you want to look at the GPS?

No, I don't want to turn my phone back on.

It's good like this. It's more romantic.

We get lost,

we take six hours instead of one.

It's more of an adventure.

It's crazy that you can buy houses on TikTok.

I hope it looks the same as in the videos.

Unlike the hot girls of TikTok.

- Do you have the keys? - You do, no?

Damn, I forgot the keys in Paris.

Wait, I have an idea.

Crazy!

Hello.

Hello.

- Are you the new neighbor? - Nice to meet you.

- What do you think of the house? - It's...

What is it?

Oh no, you don't like it.

It's just less exotic for me than for you.

It's like visiting a Norman house.

I know you, if you don't say anything, you're not excited.

I think...

it's perfect.

I was freaking out.

-I thought we were going back to Paris! -No!

I'm relieved.

Wait.

-You OK? -Yeah.

Is it a well?

It looks really deep.

I didn't hear a splash.

We'll cover it before someone falls in.

By "someone", I mean you.

So I fall into wells all the time?

I'll cover it.

Look, baby, it's for you.

-What is it? -They're little hearts.

Take a look.

-Your plushie! -Yeah.

He's going to grow with it too.

You know what would make me happy?

Like, now?

-Pregnant and all? -It's OK, it won't hurt.

Yeah.

-Why are you running away? Stop it. -But I'm scared!

It's normal to be afraid, but you still have to fight back.

But I'm afraid I'll hurt you.

You're overthinking.

Timer: two minutes

Last round.

I'm carbo...

nara.

You're always up for cultural appropriation,

but when you have to be a samurai, not so much.

I don't nag you when you use a fork.

If you manage to take me down or touch my face three times,

-you can ask me anything you want. -Hot!

What if I can't?

You turn your phone back on. So, easy?

-Go ahead. -OK.

Of course, you still can't touch my belly!

-That's one hit. -Two more!

-Don't hurt me! -What?

It hurts!

I touched you!

Barely!

You'll see. Sutemi!

Know why your sutemi, your projection, failed?

Sutemi means "sacrifice". You must be ready to sacrifice yourself.

I don't give a fuck.

That's a side kick.

It felt more like an ax kick.

Do you think he does taekwondo?

I hope not.

Why not? Taekwondo's cool.

I didn't say it wasn't.

I'd just rather he'll do something else.

Something else, like...

Not following his mom in her path of fighting?

No, but if he wants to fight, he has got to hit for real.

As long as he doesn't rap, everything is fine by me.

Imagine he raps and sucks at it.

- The anguish. - Oh no!

Imagine if he does slam poetry.

I think you offended him.

Little baby, don't be offended, you can do whatever you want in life.

I've never been happier, I think.

I love you.

I love you too, my little babies.

-I'm beat, I'm going to bed. -Yeah.

Enjoy, because after, you'll never sleep again.

So true! Ah!

-Good night. -Good night.

-I'll stay here. -OK.

And don't forget to turn your phone back on.

Crap.

Dumbass.

Fuck around and find out.

Why are you so stupid? Now you've hit rock bottom.

Say hello to the mayor.

She better not drink!

You've forgotten your old friends!

You had it coming.

He's so bad it hurts!

You're coming to the afterparty?

What are you doing?

When will we do our feat? You scared?

You see, it's your fault. What a moron. You're ridiculous.

Honey?

Honey?

- Where are you? - Here.

In the well.

-Are you stupid? -Well, thanks.

Sorry, I don't know what came over me. Are you alright?

I'm not in pain, but I'm stuck.

-I think I slept here. -One sec.

Are you ready?

All good!

Pull, it's working! It's working. Keep going!

It's all good.

Not good.

Cool! It must be really old.

Old as in vintage? Or as in medieval Japan?

I don't know. I suck at flea markets.

-Do you think it's real? -A real what?

A real suit of armor. Authentic stuff.

Maybe the former homeowner is a fan of cosplay

and I'm an obscure character from Final Fantasy IV.

Why not have breakfast and a shower first?

-Why shower? -You smell like the well.

DAD

-Hello? -You didn't answer

-about Pont-l'Évêque. -Pont l'Évêque...

-The city or the cheese? -City!

The festival we talked about.

Right, the Rap and Cheese Festival?

Could you come and sign autographs?

But, you know, mayoral and political stuff,

and Rap and Cheese stuff, it doesn't...

It would help me.

Well, I'll let you know.

-We're on vacation. -OK.

-Your mom wants to talk. -Yes.

-Hello, Mom. -About Nanako,

she still doesn't want an epidural?

Uh, no, I don't think so, no.

She doesn't understand.

-You have to tell her to call me. -Yeah, maybe she will.

I don't think she needs... Maybe she won't call you, but...

She doesn't need your opinion

on the subject, but...

If it were my labor, I would call you.

-We've made progress. -Yeah.

-What's the point of hurting? -Actually, my phone's battery is low...

You'll have to tell them we live here.

I can't get the armor off.

-What do you mean? -I can't get it off, I'm stuck.

How so?

Don't bother, I tried. It doesn't work.

I don't know how it stays on.

How did you put it on?

I put things on my arms,

and it stood on its own, as if they were magnets

and I was a refrigerator.

Yes.

Maybe I'm just bloated, I need anti-inflammatories.

You think I'm bloated?

It's like glued to your skin.

Aurélien, ready?

FUMIKO MATSUDA - Obstetrician

There...

And there you go.

Have you started thinking about the playlist?

The playlist?

-Yes, for childbirth. -You'll see, giving birth is long.

It can be a good way to help the mom.

Is everything normal for you?

So far, nothing to report. Everything is fine.

In my case, my son is born during Ed Sheeran's "Shape of You".

Did it impact his hair color?

Ha-ha-ha. We only have one hair color here.

You can get dressed now.

OK, thanks.

- Sorry, I forgot to weigh you! - Ah.

I'm sorry, this way please.

As soon as I'm away, dads always try to ultrasound themselves.

Because he can't wait for skin-to-skin contact.

Skin-to-skin is very important during the first few months.

It creates a connection between you and the child

and secretes oxytocin for both of you.

-What is oxytocin? -The love hormone, I think.

Right, it's a hormone,

secreted by the brain,

that relaxes, reduces stress.

It is also the hormone which helps women give birth.

It reduces the sensation of pain.

-It comes from the brain. -Yeah.

Brains are crazy.

I know you're judging me.

I'm not.

You're no longer a judge?

Honey. Honey, wake up.

Honey, wake up.

There's an intruder.

An intruder?

There's a human or an animal. Or a little monkey.

Here!

It's not a Japanese animal, right?

I don't know, it looks like a human.

Are you a Japanese animal?

You look like a dumbass.

Stuck in your disguise,

hiding behind your bitch.

There's no steering wheel!

The house is haunted!

Fuck, ghosts do exist.

Wait, that means the devil exists! And so does God!

We gotta convert!

The outside is haunted too!

Son of a bitch!

Fuck, he sticks!

Get up, quick!

I can't run fast with the armor on.

So disappointing.

You're ridiculous.

I'm stuck!

Honey, I'm stuck!

He kind of looks like your dad.

You abandoned me earlier.

You got out of the car.

Oh, that...

Because I was trying to bait him.

Anyway, you're stronger than me.

Shouldn't we call the police or the army?

When I was little, a lady in my neighborhood ran a wagashi.

What's a wagashi?

It's a kind of bakery.

They make mochi, daifuku, and so on.

She was also a bit mystical.

People came to see her to exorcise them.

Oh yeah, a magic baker.

Hurry up!

Once, I was alone in the store, and I heard noises from the back room.

So I come closer, and I see a guy.

He had no face.

I freaked out. I took off running.

And then?

What? That's it.

Ah, OK.

I thought something super creepy would happen.

The guy had no face, that's really scary!

Remember how you reacted last night?

Next stop: Osaka.

We're good to go.

Aurélien...

DADS CAN BE PREGNANT TOO

Come on, hurry up!

It's crazy. I remember it being so much bigger.

- Crazy. - Yeah.

That's not the craziest recent event.

The sign was a pink neon.

What is it, an erotic bakery?

It's not a bakery, it's a wagashi!

This place is a labyrinth.

Don't you think we should go to the police?

If your foot hurts, you don't go to the dentist.

She must be like 1,000 years old.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

We open in the afternoon.

No, we're like to see Akiko. Is she here?

It's quite urgent.

-Your name? -Please tell her it's Nanako Kasajima.

- Grandma. - Yes.

- Hello. - A customer.

What?

Oh, ho, ho.

Nanako Kasajima is here.

Nanako?

Ah, Little Nanako!

- Do you remember me? - Of course I remember you!

Wow!

I remember!

You were always causing trouble.

Your Japanese hasn’t improved a bit!

What's she saying?

- Usual greetings. - You brought a foreigner?

-Oh, he's my husband. -Your husband! Bonjour!

Go ahead, show it.

Show her.

You’ve brought yet another troublesome one.

Follow me.

What did she say?

Take it all off!

Take everything off.

Everything?

- Even the pants? - Sit right here!

Oni...

Rokurokubi...

- Is your bakery safe? - Shut the fuck up!

Izanagi.

Izanami.

-Shiraga! -Shiraga?

What is "Shiraga"?

Japan, our great country,

is rich with fascinating legends and myths throughout the nation.

Noble stories are told proudly among the people,

and many are revered as sacred,

taking their place at the very heart of the nation’s culture.

What's he saying?

There are plenty of legends in Japan.

Meanwhile, perilous legends revealing the source of calamity

were passed down orally among a select few,

carefully allowed to fade from the wider public’s memory.

Who is Shiraga?

Shiraga is a little-known legend. A bit niche.

He said more stuff...

In 17th-century Japan, during the Edo period,

Shiraga was a humble craftsman

living with his wife and child,

who lost one eye in a war he was unprepared for.

However, the fierce jealousy and lingering resentment of a decayed revenant

clung to that eye as a curse, turning it into a thing that took its place.

From that day on,

the world Shiraga saw was wrapped in a malevolent haze.

Whenever someone smiled, it looked to him like the threatening glare of a thief.

A stranger visiting the village could only be a brigand.

A cousin who was talking to his wife was plotting behind his back.

To the point of paranoia, he couldn't sleep a wink.

Weary and tormented by his suffering, Shiraga wandered through the forest,

and one day, deep within its heart, he happened upon a Jinmenju.

As he gazed at the tree’s bark through his cursed eye,

a flash of light shot forth, and the gods of nation-creation,

Izanami and Izanagi, stood before him.

Then the two gods granted Shiraga a full set of armor.

"Will wearing this let me break the curse?"

Shiraga quickly donned the armor and returned to his waiting family.

At night, Shiraga awakened to the sound of a mouse.

In the darkness, stagnant eyes and fangs writhed and drifted,

as if hovering in a smoky haze.

What Shiraga saw

was clearly something not of this world.

And so began real hell,

a night of unending chaos, drenched in terror and screams.

Every night, Shiraga was bitten, slashed, beaten, and burned.

Night after night, swarms of yokai rained down upon him.

The yokai were drawn to the armor like iron to a magnet,

but Shiraga’s body was trapped inside the armor, unable to break free.

The yokai that appeared each night

grew in number day by day.

An unending, hopeless despair.

His wife fled,

and his child died.

Alone, Shiraga ran every night,

but utterly exhausted,

he finally stopped and threw his life before 100 yokai.

Delighted,

the yokai dismembered Shiraga

and hurled his body into a well.

You’re in deep shit.

No matter where you go,

no matter where you are,

they’ll always find you.

Go now! Get as far away as you can! Out!

They gave a five-minute speech and you didn't understand?

I did. Basically, your armor is cursed,

the yokai will attack us every night.

Every night?

-"Every night" how? -Come on, let's go.

- When does night come? - At 6:24.

I'm scared.

Why did you buy this?

I can't help buy the stuff near the cash register.

It could be useful, though.

So we're really getting ready to fight demons?

You need to get a room, like in a hotel, an inn...

-What? -I have to face them alone.

-It's too dangerous. -Are you serious?

No, no way. You would die.

I know how to fight.

You started martial arts at 32, I'm not leaving you alone!

-What about the baby? -We have to stay together.

We said we'd face hardships together.

And objectively, you suck at fighting.

I understood that part.

-What are you doing? -I'm warming up.

Imagine, the yokai comes and we get a muscle strain.

-Maybe your baker was talking nonsense. -Stay focused.

You're such an asshole.

Great, no more weapons.

What's up? You used to like booze.

Put this on.

I'll open the windows.

Honey, you far?

Fuck.

Oh no!

Wake up!

-Ouch. -I'm sorry.

There's a lot.

I don't know if I'm in pain or afraid the most.

Fuck, he's still here.

Behind you!

Protect yourself!

You wanted it, you got it.

He doesn't like water!

-I don't know how you manage to eat. -I'm so hungry.

Aurélien...

Aurélien...

Who's that bitch?

Maybe she only wants to lick me.

We have to stay awake.

I'm craving a vodka-Red Bull.

-Well, anything with alcohol. -Same.

I really want a smoke.

Even if you stop drinking, it never really goes away.

It reminds me when we'd come home from a party.

We'd fall asleep together...

Beat.

I think they've left.

Let's go. Don't move.

Does it do anything?

I don't know.

I don't get it, not even a scratch.

-Nothing. -It's magic.

To remove it, you need a password, an incantation, something.

-Like a ritual or a sacrifice? -Yeah.

Like you repeat three times the same word at midnight,

in front of a frog, and it disappears.

-How do you say "armor" in Japanese? -Yoroï.

Yoroï, yoroï, yoroï.

-I didn't believe it. -Yeah, right.

DETERGENT

Do you find stuff?

Yeah, I found the girl from yesterday.

It is one of the most famous yokai in Japanese folklore.

She seemed familiar to me.

What's more, you have it on your left leg.

Seriously?

Are the others on the armor too?

Not really and I can't find anything about them.

Neither on the smoker, nor on the one who ended up in the bath,

nor on the one who looks like your dad.

In any case, the old woman didn't just talk rubbish.

She didn't tell us how to remove the armor.

I can't believe we're doing this every night.

And I can't believe yokai attack us but we're still shopping.

We need to find a solution.

FRENCH GENERAL ELECTION

National Rally,

which came first in the opening round of voting,

has slipped to third place.

Ahead of the Paris Olympics...

You alright?

Look, yokai.

It gets dark too early here, we can't do anything all day.

If we stopped getting up at 2pm...

-Is it yo-yo time? -I think, soon.

Soon, soon?

It's still scary.

Asshole.

You act like an anarchist, but you're a capitalist.

Islamo-leftist, with your shitty music

which only serves to spread false propaganda.

Even though you like money too.

You defend your country but you go to a far-right country!

And what color will your son be? Will he have slant eyes?

What a joke...

HORRIBLE HUMANOID IN A SUIT FUTURE OF FRANCE

They seem linked to you.

Yes, of course.

France.

This one looks like your dad, your mom, and your brother.

You're making it up. He doesn't look like them.

He's here? We cut his head off!

He's the spitting image of your dad.

You think so? Are we that ugly in Normandy?

- He looks just like your mother! - Because he's clingy?

Yes, like your brother!

They're not all linked to me.

You're such an asshole.

The weird alien has nothing to do with me.

You're a piece of shit.

Some are based on mythology. Some don't make sense.

REALLY ANNOYING PURPLE YOKAI

For the chicks, I don't see the link.

You look at chicks on Instagram.

I don't watch chicks like that.

You do, the fitness girls and everything.

I don't look, I want to learn exercises.

They're hot because their exercises are good.

Sure.

Anyway, you know my only type of girl is you.

No way out. We'll have to pulverize them every night.

Toxic: alcohol/cigarettes

PRESS/PAPARAZZI SOCIAL MEDIA

Sunset: 6pm Sunrise: 5am

You're still here!

RAP GAME

You're so bad.

So bad it hurts.

A MOTHER-TO-BE'S SURVIVAL MANUAL

The only thing I'm sure of

is that you can't draw.

You're not laughing?

Huh?

-Are you sulking? -No.

If you say you don't sulk, you do.

I've had enough of your Pokémon-hunting.

I saw myself more as a Knight of the Zodiac.

See, you love it.

See, you're sulking.

KYOKO TAKEDA WELCOME YOKAI! BOOK SIGNING

Kyoko lives in the yokai world.

Yokai pop up wherever she goes.

When she goes to school...

Rustle... Rustle... Rustle...

Even at the park... whoooosh!

- Remind me why we're here. - At the hairdresser's too!

She's a yokai specialist, it's about philosophy.

Snip, snip, snip!

- It's for babies. - Listen.

So Yoko spent all her time in her room.

A yokai came out of the closet

and came to Yoko.

But then...

The yokai stepped on a marble and went tumble-tumble! Bang! Crash!

The yokai started crying out loud.

At that moment, Yoko

didn’t think of them as yokai.

-Congratulations. -Thank you very much.

I'm a huge fan. Could I get your autograph?

Oh, is that cosplay?

-Or a new fashion? -Yes.

I’m sorry. He barely speaks any Japanese. Actually, he doesn’t speak it at all.

A little. A little Japanese.

We can speak English.

Do you think it's real?

-The yokai? -What do you mean by real?

We mean like real.

Like really, really, really real.

Well, it depends.

I mean, did Moses really part the Red Sea?

I like to see them as metaphors.

Yokai are usually a sign that there is something to be afraid of.

They're here to warn you,

to teach you something, or to protect you somehow.

Like the kappa, for example.

Kappa drowns children and eats their little testicles.

But they were invented to keep children away from ponds.

That's kind of what I do.

Turn the scary part of the yokai into something positive.

For example, what would you do if you met a kappa?

Well, maybe I'd run.

Or maybe...

Maybe I could keep the distance with a few jabs, maybe.

Fake a right hook,

surprise him with a heavy low kick and break its little turtle leg.

Then I could like tackle, take him down,

like ground and pound its ugly green face until it mixes the ground.

That rather brutal method may work if you know how to fight.

But if you meet a kappa, you just simply bow and say hello to him.

Since he's very polite, he will bow back in return.

And when he does,

the water in his little head will pour out

and he'll fall asleep.

Mm.

I'm not sure whether Takeda said interesting stuff

or recited nothing but platitudes.

-Could suit the playlist. -Which playlist?

-For childbirth. -Is that a real thing?

It's nice to have a soundtrack when giving life.

Yeah, or we can bring in a DJ. Maybe I should call Snake or Guetta,

-organize a Boiler Room. -Now you're annoying.

I'm kidding, don't get upset.

You're cynical, you don't seem to give a fuck.

But I'm kidding, really.

You mock the playlist, you say Takeda wasn't interesting.

How will we raise him?

We're not ready for childbirth or the baby's arrival.

No first name.

We were supposed to come here and prepare for the baby.

But it's worse than in France! You don't even tell people we live here.

Thank you for listing everything I do wrong.

I'm trying to survive, monsters attack me every night.

It was because of work, now it's yokai?

Always a reason for everything to revolve around you.

Yes, it does. What do you want me to say?

That you think about our child, about what I'm going through.

Learn about childbirth. Tell me you're thinking of a name,

and if monsters attack you forever, you'd find time to take care of our child!

Instead of "That sucks... David Guetta when you give birth."

Of course I'm thinking of you and I'm sick of what's going on.

Of course I'd like to have a name for the baby. And I'll be here.

I thought you already knew that.

You don't tell me anything. I thought you could take it,

you could handle anything.

-You're stronger than me. -What does that mean?

It's your excuse to let me carry all the weight.

Stop playing the victim! Yes, I'm strong.

But not all the time, nor enough for two, let alone for three!

I'm going for a walk.

And if you're wondering, yes I am sulking.

Honey, are you OK?

How are you?

Did you fall?

Are you having contractions?

Tell me, should I call the hospital?

What do I do? You want to get in the tub?

In the tub?

Is the baby coming out?

Oh fuck!

Help me, tell me what to do.

You're supposed to help me!

- I don't understand! - You're supposed to help me!

Let's go!

That's good.

That's good.

He's coming.

See you soon, Dad.

Fucking yokai.

Fuck!

You could have cleaned it up, you left some everywhere!

You want to take off the armor?

Follow me.

You don't have friends either?

Don't kill me, please!

Go away.

I don't have friends. Will you be my friend?

Well, no.

Oh no, I failed again.

Why refuse to be my friend?

Because you're a yokai. You're going to attack me.

Well, no, actually.

We're not all like that.

Actually, no one will attack you if you're with me.

Oh yeah?

You're their boss?

No, it's because I stink.

Doesn't it bother you?

It's fine, I used to work in a garbage dump, you get used to it.

Well...

Goodbye.

Wait, wait. I know how you can remove the armor.

-You know how to remove it? -Yeah.

Just ask.

How do you remove it?

Don't ask me. Follow me.

Has anyone ever told you you look like...

An egg? I know.

I like walking with you.

What do you like?

Do you like licking trees?

You wouldn't know why the armor attracts yokai related to me?

It doesn't attract them. It creates them.

-What do you mean? -It uses your negative emotions.

Fear, stress. Hate.

Oh yeah?

It totally makes sense, actually.

Here we are.

This is where the creator gods gave the armor to Shiraga.

You must make your wish here.

OK.

So...

Hello.

Dear Mister Tree. Here we go.

I'm stuck in a suit of armor which prevents me from living,

and pretty much busts my balls.

So since you're a tree with powers,

would it be possible to take it off, please?

That would be very kind of you.

Even if I don't really believe it.

So yeah.

My dear Mister Conifer,

I send you my best regards.

-Like that? -It's thinking.

-It may take a little while. -Oh yeah, loading time and all.

Tell me. How does it feel to have friends?

-I'm sure you have lots of them. -Yeah, I have friends.

A lot, actually.

I have friends I don't see often because of work.

I have friends I work with.

I have childhood friends, we don't have much in common anymore.

I have friends from my teens who bring back bad memories.

I have new friends who appear all the time

and who, in general, don't stay long.

I have online friends, so they don't count.

I have false friends,

who are waiting for a reason to become enemies.

I've got family.

I don't know if you have a family, but they're friends you didn't choose.

I have family friends, friends' family.

I have so many friends that I often just want to be alone.

Is this normal?

I've got friends, lots of them.

-I have new friends. -Friends from my teens

-who'd better die. -They bust my balls!

-Traitors! -Bad memories...

-Make your life miserable. -Family... not chosen.

-Just want to be alone. -Traitors!

You shouldn't have trusted me.

We're going to have a blast, my little apricots.

He's waking up.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

You're awake!

My love!

How are you?

How am I?

Good question.

I haven't had a headache so bad since student parties.

But at least I'm not dead, so that's cool.

-It's very cool, in fact. -Here.

Gather your strength.

You guys OK? What are you doing here?

It's not OK. We'll explain later.

You can't tell me it's not OK, create suspense like that,

and say, "We'll explain later."

Especially because later, yokai will attack.

-By the way, what time is it? -Don't worry, it's 7am.

And last night?

No attack. Like the last ten nights in fact.

-I slept for ten days? -Yes.

- No more attacks? - No.

But I still have the armor.

OK.

Until you tell me what's wrong, what do we do?

We're going to get a little morning karaoke?

There's a guy who does ceramics in the village, it's totally your vibe.

Things are bad or bad like when you say, "It's bad"

because a rapper made a lame song?

It's very, very bad.

I’ll come by another day to check on him. Good bye.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Let me explain.

Two weeks ago, I was at home feeding my deer

and Glasses calls me.

-Glasses? -He owns the glasses store

near the Orsay Museum.

Anyway, Glasses tells me, "Your boy is naked in Paris."

I laugh, cause they're all insane in his neighborhood.

Glasses tells me, "A jogger approaches your boy,

like 'Why are you naked? There are people, children,

elderly people'. But your boy freaks out."

"He headbutts him."

"He throws him, takes his clothes."

"His shoes, his pants, he took everything."

I think he's messing with me. But he's weird on the phone.

Get lost, asshole!

Glasses tells me, "Your boy is weird, as if he were high."

I say, "Who are you talking about?"

I thought he meant one of my mad friends, because all my boys are crazy.

He says, "Your boy."

I'm starting to lose it,

he says, "You know, your guy." I say, "Who?"

"Orelsan." I say, "What?"

-What? -What?

And my phone starts blowing up.

I get into the car, I drive from Caen to Paris in less than two hours.

I speed up. And I get texts, messages...

"Orelsan smashes stores."

"He kicks cyclists, he punches people,

he kicks passers-by on scooters."

I kind of liked that.

Anyway, I arrive in Paris. I call you, no answer, as usual.

-I was stuck in a tree. -I call Nanako, no answer.

Skread tells me, "It's the end of his career."

"He screws up 20 years of work."

-It's not me. -For people, it's you.

It's you. Same face, your twin. The same look, the same silhouette.

It's crazy.

That's not all, he has a militia of assholes.

Since he's the boss of assholes, he brought them all together.

That's a bunch of assholes.

Every time I walk in Paris, I hate everything.

Look, this is a perfect example,

a son of a bitch average shitty Frenchman.

So I slap them randomly.

For free.

I kind of like it.

Fashion week.

I was tired of seeing ugly people like you

so I only hang out with beautiful people.

Who want to sleep with me.

You like being on camera?

She's a moron.

Oh fuck...

-You sons of bitches. -Oh fuck...

-Why do people follow you? -Because they like that I tell the truth.

"You are scum."

"You have shitty lives."

"You are weak whores. Come on, let's do whatever we want."

"We'll be free."

I'm warning you, I'm not going back to France.

Are you aware that you're offensive?

For the past two weeks, we don't recognize our Orelsan.

Several complaints have been filed against you. What's going on?

First, there's no more Orelsan. You can call me Orelsama now.

"Sama" is a mark of respect. It means I'm better than you.

You have to respect me.

Images of you have been circulating, naked in the street,

hitting people, you are now constantly with a militia,

smashing shop windows. Is it staged? A new character?

An artistic happening?

If I break your face, is that staged too?

Hello, everyone. A word about recent events.

It's not me, actually.

Let me explain. I left with my wife to live in Japan.

And I found a suit of armor which makes monsters appear.

And so I was stuck in this armor.

It's monsters from Japan that come and try to fuck me up.

And so, one evening, one of the yokai said to me, "Come."

"I know a tree, you tell him you want to take the armor off, and he will."

So I went to see the tree and I asked him to remove it.

Turns out it was a trap.

He took my negative feelings and put them in fruits.

The fruit looked a bit like me, and then...

Another yokai, who must have told the other to set a trap for me,

he ate the fruit and transformed into me.

And he's the one pretending to be Orelsama in France.

All this to say that it's not me.

I can't post this.

Sayonara, Land of the Rising Sun.

Farewell, my dream life.

By the way, guys, I had a thought.

Don't you think it would be a good idea

to have a plan?

To get through customs, I'll beep a whole lot.

Get up, Carlos Ghosn.

Very sorry, but passengers who have not boarded properly--

You know this bundle of yen?

Stop.

Rich people have shit taste even in the sky.

Concretely, how do we catch Orelsama?

A crisis meeting? Shouldn't we watch a couple movies first?

What do we know about him?

What do we know about Orelsama? We know he's good-looking.

-You'll only make jokes? -Sorry.

I mustn't stress.

The plan is simple. We find him, we crush him.

Indeed, a fairly simple plan. Two highlights,

finding and crushing.

It must be before nightfall otherwise the yokai reappear.

- Excuse me. - Thank you.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

- Does your armor have powers? - Well, it attracts monsters.

Other than that, no powers.

-Anything? -Nothing.

- Zero power? - Zero power.

-Nada? -It doesn't even protect me well.

France.

Following controversial remarks by the singer Orelsan, or Orelsama,

as he now calls himself, calls for demonstrations were issued

against the rapper.

Acts of violence have recently erupted

in several cities in France,

especially in Paris.

Look, they're everywhere.

All over Paris. It's crazy.

He flipped out.

- Guys... - He's live.

My ninjas...

I was at home, on my sofa.

-Our home! -I hated everything.

I thought, "Why this hatred?" I look around and say to myself,

"That's an asshole's apartment!"

I realized that my whole life was an asshole's life.

And I said to myself, "Get rid of everything

that's busting our balls." So many little shits

can be easily fixed

but you don't get rid of them.

There's an anti-me protest.

And all the Orelsama assholes.

Look under the seat.

You come with us to fight or sleep in the car?

Are you crazy?

We'll stick to the plan.

It's OK, boss. We took everyone upstairs.

It's not him!

- You got the keys? - You do, right?

Oh fuck. I forgot them in Japan.

Go ahead, I'll cover you!

You good?

What's that?

Anybody home?

Where the hell are we?

Where are we?

We're at the end of your life.

♪ For you who understand nothing ♪

♪ For you, you sweet little dumbass ♪

♪ You play the fool to please others ♪

♪ They laugh and move on ♪

♪ You played Now you're paying the price ♪

♪ They told you to stop ♪

♪ You're through ♪

♪ You gave it your all ♪

♪ You're just a by-product ♪

♪ Truth is you wasted your life ♪

♪ And you run, and you run, and you run ♪

♪ And you pray not to see your fears ♪

♪ Today, you're causing pain You want to stop ♪

♪ But you're game over ♪

♪ You're empty inside You can no longer hide your weaknesses ♪

♪ No one will be able to save you ♪

♪ When you're decimated By anxiety and stress ♪

Well then?

When I see you on the floor, having your panic attack,

looking at your past for the last time,

I can't help thinking...

You're a piece of shit.

You've got everything here.

Everything you've ever dreamed of.

But you hide in another country.

But I get it... Well, I don't get you acting like a pussy.

But I get why you can't take it anymore.

I get why you can't stand all these people.

Hearing the opinion of any ordinary moron.

Letting strangers rot your head

with their opinion on what they don't know,

who judge, who criticize.

All this clickbait media and their half-truths

that rape your free time.

These 13-year-olds made with energy drinks,

soothed by harassment, for whom hate is entertainment.

Orelsan, what about the feat?

How can you stand these hacks who all sound the same

with the same melody, the same vocabulary?

Out of ideas, they beg for a feat to steal your buzz.

I'll kill you.

Acting cool but being super sensitive

when you won't give them 16 bars because you have a life?

Aurélien...

Orelsan...

And those chicks...

All these chicks who screwed your adolescence,

how much time did they take up?

They taunted you, humiliated you, made you sad.

These hot girls who know nothing else except looking hot in pictures.

Who are just waiting for a moment of weakness to trap you

and ruin your fucking life.

I get why you can't stand these average fucking French people,

who are useless, do nothing but complain.

Who only shit on their colleagues, friends and families.

All those butchers, bakers, teachers, employees, executives,

whatever.

All these fucking NPCs with their uninteresting lives,

their fucking outdated society that will never work.

With their shitty politics, asking you to pick a side

while the only side they give a shit about is themselves.

How long will you drag these dimwits who hold you back?

The old pals who make you feel guilty so you don't abandon them like crap.

When it's normal, they are crap.

They do nothing but drink and smoke,

and tell the same stories over and over.

They want you to relapse so you stay like them.

Cause they want you to stay miserable with them.

I get why you can't stand your ever-present family,

clingy, that never lets you go.

The brother depends on you, the sister cries all the time.

Mom talks about the education of an unborn child.

While this whore screwed her job!

Dad asking for autographs for a whole city

when he always said you were a good-for-nothing.

He who envies your success

except when it makes him look good to the bigwigs

of your fucking city of provincial rednecks.

And you ran like a coward.

Without the balls to flee the main cause of your stupidity?

She talks to you like a dumb kid, makes you write cheesy songs.

The murderer of your libido.

Yoko Ono!

She found the best way to get hold of you,

but you know the kid is a bad idea.

There's no room in your heart for someone other than yourself.

You're irresponsible, you'll let him down.

He'll be unhappy and grow up in a rotten world.

A privileged little boy,

ungrateful, selfish. A son of a bitch.

A little son of a bitch!

I get why you fled what you've become,

a spineless victim, afraid of how others see him.

A softie looking for a dull life.

You ran away from your problems, but you knew they'd be back.

You knew that problems come back stronger and more numerous.

And they end up killing you.

Now, you'll die!

The only thing I don't get,

is why run away when you can destroy?

You're not listening.

Now you're a vegetable.

My zucchini, we'll move on to the rest of the evening.

When our problems go up in smoke.

You'll see, it's not complicated to solve your issues.

Here is your feat.

You were hotshit, now you'll burn.

This is for your articles and videos and your crappy podcasts.

The old pals we don't want to see anymore.

One for the road, guys.

Strange, usually, you like booze.

To the left.

To the right.

The mayor of Pont-l'Évêque.

So...

There will be no new album, your boy is burnt-out.

A little bit for dad, a little bit for mom.

The brother.

Let's water the plants. And water the whores.

How does it feel to get lit up, girls?

Aurélien, wake up.

I know you can hear me.

Listen to me, not him. Don't let him get inside your head.

Fight, you can do it. I know you can.

Think of something positive.

Think of something you like, something cool.

I know you can do it. We all trust you.

Think of a nice memory, think of us.

Something good.

Think of your big cat.

Think of what Takeda said.

Yokai are usually a sign

that there is something to be afraid of.

Turn the scary part of the yokai into something positive.

- Oxytocin? - It's the love hormone.

It's a relaxing hormone,

it reduces stress and builds trust.

Brains are crazy.

And at that moment, she didn't see them as monsters anymore.

Wow.

You look like my first scooter.

Are you kidding me?

You OK?

Now it's time to separate the whites from the yolks.

- You OK? - Yes.

- I have to manage on my own this time. - Okay.

You can do it.

At least, I think so.

I'm going to take care of you, the old-fashioned way.

Come on, Mr. San.

Let's see what you've got without your bitch.

Well, it's goodbye.

Let's make marshmallows.

You're the marshmallows.

Are you stupid? You'll burn with us.

I'm a fucking yokai.

That's right...

You're a fucking yokai.

Your projection failed because "sutemi" means sacrifice.

You have to be willing to sacrifice.

He has surpassed Shiraga. We may grant him freedom.

One more trial still remains.

You sucked with the armor, but without...

You're a piece of shit.

I know you.

Yeah?

You're the negative voice in my head--

I know how to make you disappear.

You'll die before.

You don't listen anymore?

That's all, it's over.

Your kid'll grow up without you.

It's for the best, you couldn't raise him.

I'll never listen to you again.

You're no longer me.

Dumbass.

It's fine, you're alive.

I was afraid.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

-I thought I'd never see you again. -You did it.

It hurts. I love you.

♪ Looking at my anguish in its eyes Without the goggles of fear ♪

♪ Without thinking everyone's mad at me ♪

♪ I realized that habit Makes precious things mundane ♪

♪ That some things never change But in the end, maybe it's for the best ♪

♪ If I can't change things I can change the way I see them ♪

♪ If I can't change others I can change their influence on me ♪

♪ There's always something to reproach ♪

♪ The flaws of those who are close seem bigger because they're close ♪

♪ Looking at my problems From another angle ♪

♪ I saw that if I hate the ones I love ♪

♪ It's because they're here ♪

♪ One day you feel suffocated By blood ties ♪

♪ One day you hold them ♪

♪ Because they'll be there all the time ♪

♪ If the past never really fades ♪

♪ It's so the good memories Remain eternally ♪

♪ A toxic past can always resurface ♪

♪ It's a reminder to tell you: "Never forget how to get out of it" ♪

♪ Don't forget, I can forgive you Even if I don't forget ♪

♪ You can change where you go You'll never change where you start ♪

♪ It's cool to want to live free In the middle of nowhere ♪

♪ Until you call for help And no one can hear or see you ♪

♪ Looking at my anguish one last time ♪

♪ I've seen millions of voices Do anything ♪

♪ To take a piece of me ♪

♪ They all want to get into our skulls Try to hack it ♪

♪ Media is Medusa To destroy them, don't look at them ♪

♪ Now I know I'm human And that I might crack ♪

♪ But I also know that I have Much more to lose than to gain ♪

♪ You can't choose to be an artist But you choose to be paid ♪

♪ There'll always be lame colleagues Whatever your profession ♪

♪ Looking at my worries In a different light ♪

♪ I've finally realized that arguments Are part of love ♪

♪ Trying to dodge them Is dodging the other ♪

♪ And considering my stats I have to think that it's my fault ♪

♪ I'm going to have A big responsibility soon, it scares me ♪

♪ I know I don't feel ready Because it's true ♪

♪ That's the beauty of parenthood ♪

♪ Teaching is learning The future means moving forward ♪

♪ Now I know when the future comes I won't listen to the little voice ♪

♪ My only goal is to put A smile on her face ♪

♪ It's not easy every day But that's how you grow up ♪

♪ Otherwise, it's dull and I'd have to face the yokai of boredom ♪

I feel so light.

I'm going to sleep for ten days again.

I don't think so.

My waters are breaking.

Oh fuck.

We didn't make the playlist.