Original subtitles

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ These are the days I dream about ♪

♪ I think I finally figured out ♪

♪ My life, my purpose in the fold ♪

♪ I'm ever changing now ♪

♪ These are the days I dream about ♪

♪ I'm ever changing now ♪

[Ever giggling]

[Liann] I'm gonna get a bite.

[Ever giggles, gurgles]

Mm, so good.

Hi, Ruger.

-[gasps] Hi! -[Aspen] Hello.

[dog barking]

[gasps] Hi, my little Cocomelon.

♪♪

-Hi. -Hi, Dad.

Um...

Have you guys apologized to each other? Is everything good?

Taylor asked me to go to therapy with her,

and it just seems like every time we're together,

we're fighting about the same things over and over.

How does a parent parent their adult kid,

but then be like, "Poor me, I need to go to the hospital"?

Do I say that to you? Or are you making it up?

Can you, can you let me explain it to her first

and then you can talk to me?

Yeah, I do need to work on my approach and not be so judgmental

and so, I am, I am really sorry.

I appreciate that. And I'm sorry, too,

'cause I think I just get defensive, just like you.

I think I-- Apple doesn't far-- fall far from the tree, you know?

-So... -Yeah.

My mom and I decided to finally do therapy together.

And it really opened my eyes to realizing how much I still have yet to learn

about my family and her past.

And then, the genealogist found out that I have two more siblings.

It was like, shocked, honestly. Like, "Whoa!"

Did they even know?

I don't believe so. I've not been able to reach them yet.

[exhales] That is wild!

I'm nervous for my mom, but I'm like, this is news to her too.

This was her past with my biological dad and, you know, once her relationship,

but maybe it won't be that big of a deal.

Um, so, I, uh, have news.

[Jeremy] Oh, great.

I hate when you say that 'cause you get this smirk on your face.

You do that, "Mm. Mm."

[Liann laughs]

[Taylor] Well, this is, like, pretty, like, crazy news

-and it's not bad. -[Liann] Okay, well, let's hear it.

-Like, I-- My heart's already-- -Yeah, my heart kinda just went...

I always think she's gonna say she's pregnant

or something to that effect.

-You guys ready? -Oh, man.

This is actually shocking to me, 'kay?

I, officially...

have two siblings other than Aspen and Hunter.

-[Liann gasps] -Shut up!

[Liann] I am shocked by it.

I did hear rumors before, when Taylor was younger,

that she possibly had a sibling or two,

and I just didn't believe it at the time.

But there's-- that's always been in my mind that that's a possibility.

I have a little brother and a little sister that is 22 and 24.

[Jeremy] Shut up!

-No way! -[Taylor] Yeah.

[Jeremy] Where do they live?

Colorado Springs.

-All of 'em. -[Jeremy] That's crazy.

[Taylor] So, the mom, it says--

They all have the same address as of the last time checked.

Um, the girl looks like me, a lot like you, too,

but it's 'cause she has, like, the dark hair and dark eyes.

I feel like, yeah, it's scary to go down this road with her

to find out, like, the truth about Brian.

I've kept it to a, a distance

just because, I don't know, I, I feel like some of it's my fault

the way that her life is.

And so, yes, I was skeptical about her finding out more.

Are you going to reach out to them, or do you want to know, or do you care?

[Taylor] Um... I... Yeah.

I just don't know, like, sometimes people, like, don't wanna look at it.

They, they don't wanna acknowledge it.

Obviously, they're adults, so I can go directly to the children,

but they could be like, "I had no idea."

You know that, like-- They could think that's their dad.

Yeah.

Now that I've had more information about my siblings,

I have a lot of questions, I wanna know even more.

But there is a part of me that's, like, questioning,

"Should I even be doing this right now? Is this the right timing?"

Because I am about to take off and I'm going out to The Bachelorette.

But I am also like, "This is precisely why I need to know,

so I can begin to heal my relationship with men before I leave."

I feel like my trust issues come back to my biological father.

There is a wound there that

the one man that's supposed to love you and be by your side that didn't want you

and you kind of knew that he had a choice there and didn't care.

With Dakota, I think he surfaced that wound a lot.

So, if I want to move forward with someone else,

I feel like I just need more answers on my past and, like, who I am.

♪♪

-[♪ theme music playing] -♪ Come thee saints ♪

♪ And come thee sinners ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Listen up ♪

♪ I'm the one you've been dreaming of ♪

♪ I've got everything you could ever want ♪

♪ Try me and you'll see, I'll bring you to your knees ♪

♪ Baby, you're gonna believe ♪

♪♪

♪ Lead us not into temptation ♪

♪ Lead us not into temptation ♪

♪ Lead us not into temptation ♪

♪ Lead us not into temptation ♪

♪ Temptation ♪

[♪ intense music playing]

♪ I think you forgot who the... I am ♪

♪ I'm the original classic, fantastic ♪

♪ I'm like Houdini's magic ♪

[children screaming]

[Zac] Okay, kiddos, let's go outside.

We're gonna go eat. We're gonna go do a little picnic.

Bubbas.

Hey, hey. Hey.

Hey, Bubbas. You need to be nice to your sister, okay?

Jen's schedule for Dancing with the Stars

is 100 times more hectic and busy than we ever expected.

We thought she would have a, like,

you know, a few hours of dance practice a day,

she-- but it's been way more than that.

-Would you like [indistinct]? -No.

-One bite. -No.

[Zac] Well, how 'bout an air-airplane?

So, I've-- I have taken on the role of being the stay-at-home dad.

We're gonna call Mommy real quick and just see how she's doing.

It's completely worth the sacrifice,

but it's been way different than what I expected.

Can you say hi to Mama? Say, "Hi, Mama."

[whines] Mama.

We're just checking in so the kids could see you

before we went down for sleepies.

Hi!

Oh, my gosh! My schedule is absolutely insane.

I'm dancing for six to seven hours a day,

and, right now, I'm feeling a lot of mom guilt.

I am so grateful for Zac, all he's doing for me right now,

but, to be honest, it is hard.

-[over phone] Love you guys. -'Kay, we'll see you in a few hours.

Love you.

-Love you. -[Jen] Love you so much.

Hey, blow Mommy a kiss. Give her a kiss.

I can't see! Love you, Mama.

[grunts] 'Kay, here, you, you read this one.

Daddy's gonna go hurry and put Peanut down.

♪♪

-[children shrieking] -Found you!

Please bless Mommy that she can get home safe from dance.

Please bless Papi and Kay-Kay. And we're grateful for our home.

We're grateful for our bed and for all the things we have.

Like, since I left medical school o-over a year ago,

like, I have been putting Jen's dreams and career first

and I have mixed emotions about it.

Part of me is really excited for her 'cause this is her dream,

and then there's part of me that's, like, honestly, like, homesick

and just, like, ready to come home to Utah.

And I think I wanna talk to Jen about that.

But ultimately, we're kind of just in survival mode right now.

Um, yeah, I just don't really know, like, w-what I'm doing with myself, so...

Lately, I don't know why, but I find myself,

after the kids are down, before Jen gets home,

I find myself coming and hiding--

not hiding, but just sitting in this bathroom.

It just, it just is nice and quiet in here.

Jen is on her fourth, I don't know, 14-hour day in a row

and it's a lot, I'll be honest.

The kids are a lot. Three under three is no joke.

Yeah, I don't know.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ See those lights? ♪

♪ My name's on it ♪

♪ See that house? ♪

♪ I just bought it ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Ooh, I love this smell.

Smells like we're gonna whoop some DadTok ass out here.

I wanna see them cry.

I started playing tennis when I was, like, five years old or so.

I played D1 tennis for BYU, and then, I wanted to do pro,

but I got pregnant at 19, so that didn't happen.

I've enjoyed playing pickleball, so much so,

that I put a pickleball court in my backyard.

We wanna use it, so we're really excited.

So, we decided to host a MomTok vs DadTok pickleball tournament.

Feel like we need to talk about why it's important to practice

is because we can never lose to DadTok.

My ego will not allow it.

[laughter]

MomTok was created as an outlet for us moms

to get together, make some videos, have fun, make some money.

And DadTok was created to ride off our coattails.

That being said, MomTok needs to beat DadTok

to kind of put them in their place and humble them a little bit.

They're surprisingly cocky and, like, for what?

Like, you are here because of us. So, remember that.

Oh, wait, Taylor, this is for you,

-since you're not playing. -[Taylor] Oh, hell yeah.

-Give me that. -Is she the ref or something?

[Mayci] She's the cheerleader. She gonna talk shit.

So you might wanna practice since you can't practice pickleball.

I know, I wonder if I could just, like, barely T-Rex it, you know?

I'm pretty bummed that I don't get to play pickleball with the girls

because of my breast augmentation I just got done.

I'm still healing from it.

But I am super excited to cheer from the sidelines.

It's been fun to, uh, really get my time in with the girls

before I leave for The Bachelorette.

Can everybody hear me? I feel like this is not loud enough.

Hello? Hello? Oh, guys, I have news.

-What? -What?

I met up with a genealogist, and I have two siblings.

[all] [gasping] What?

On top of my other two siblings.

-Shut up! -Yes. And I did not know.

Wait, that's so wild.

[Taylor] Anyways, that was my news.

-[Mayci] That's crazy. -That's crazy.

-[Taylor] I know, I was like-- -I was not expecting you to say that.

I thought it was gonna be something about Dakota.

-I was stressed. -[Mayci] Yeah, me too.

What guys are all coming?

I think all of 'em besides Conner.

Dakota did, like, college basketball,

so he's pretty good at any sport.

Okay, wait. So, do we have enough boys and girls?

-Hey, that was hard for me to say it... -She can't play.

Oh, she can't play. [gasp] Wait, what do we do then?

Shinia's good at pickleball. I've played with her.

-You can call her. -[Miranda] Maybe I call her.

Shinia is my best friend

and she's also friendly with Taylor and Layla,

and we had a ton of fun together at Stagecoach.

[Jace] Oh, my God!

[Jessi] Here we go!

Shinia and I have played pickleball together

on a number of occasions

and she can definitely hold her own.

I don't know, I think we can-- I think we'll put up a good fight against DadTok.

I think we have a good plan. She'll call Shinia if Shinia can do it,

-if not, Mayci's gonna play twice. -'Kay.

-[♪ upbeat music playing] -♪ Is this love? ♪

♪ When you call ♪

♪ Say my name ♪

♪ Oh, baby, run ♪

♪ Is this love? ♪

I love this place. It's so good.

-You have a reservation? -Yes, it's under Jordan.

Jordan. Perfect. Follow me.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

[Jessi] It's Jordan and my's five-year wedding anniversary

and I'm feeling conflicted because we're trying to work on our marriage,

I'm still struggling with certain things.

Thank you so much.

-Thank you. -[host] You're welcome.

I left my first husband right after our five-year anniversary,

so five years has always felt kind of cursed to me.

And then Jordan and I got together right after my ex and I split.

So, I'm definitely feeling emotional tonight.

[singsongy] ♪ Bacon-wrapped dates! ♪

I know. I'm excited. What are you gonna get?

I'm gonna get the halibut.

[Jessi] Oh, nice.

Um... I can't believe it's our anniversary again.

It's been a hell of a year.

[chuckling] Yeah.

It's been insane.

[awkward silence]

[diners chattering]

I-- Ugh. I'm gonna cry.

What's wrong?

[voice breaking] Um...

five is just harder for me than I thought it was gonna be.

[♪ somber music playing]

Um... just 'cause of, like,

my first marriage ended af-- right after my five-year anniversary

and I didn't realize it was gonna be so triggering.

I'm sorry.

It was, like, five years...

and, like, the anniversary was kind of, like, the unraveling of...

the timeline, I guess.

And then it ended.

And I knew it was ending for a while, obviously.

But now, like, obviously, we're not in, like, an amazing place

and so, it's, like, five years is, like, triggering because of that.

It's tough, but like... I'm just grateful every day

to be in this and working on things and, and fighting for this.

Yeah.

♪♪

This dinner's kind of a weird vibe.

Jordan and I have been living in limbo for a while,

and that is mostly my fault

because I just have not been sure about what I want.

But as of right now, we're both committed to really trying and giving it 100%.

And we've kind of decided

that by the end of the year, we're gonna make a decision.

And if we're still in limbo, that means that we need to be done.

For me, like, because of all the things that we've gone through

and my mistakes... and your mistakes,

I think, at, at some point, I would love to, like, renew our vows.

I know, we've just been through so much

and, like, I think that that is something that,

at some point, I would, would be interested in.

-That is, like, my goal. -That is--

Like, that is what I would ultimately like to work towards.

It just feels like maybe it would be a Band-Aid.

Like, I don't feel like we're in a place

-where that would feel authentic, but-- -I-- Yeah, I'm-I'm not saying we are.

No, I know, I'm-- But, like, it's hard for me

to even say a year from now or two years, I don't know.

Even though Jordan and I are working on things,

it just feels like we're never on the same page

and we can't quite get there.

And I'm trying to give it time, and I'm trying to see if that can change,

but I am open to the possibility that this could work out

and this could make us stronger than ever,

or maybe, we are destined for divorce,

and that has to be a real possibility as well.

[♪ "My Escape" by Kids In America ft. Sam Tinnesz playing]

♪ You got your claws in me, honey, like a tiger in love ♪

♪ I'm swinging blind ♪

♪ And you're stunning me without any gloves ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, it's all your illusion ♪

♪ Always get what you want... ♪

-[Dakota] Oh, what's up, dude? -[Jordan] What's up, guys?

How's it going, man? How have you been? Good?

You know, hanging in there, dude. Surviving.

Dude, I hope you're doing good, man.

-What'd you order? -[Jordan] I haven't ordered yet.

I'm gonna get a salad.

[Dakota] The struggle, bro.

You guys pumped for tomorrow, for the pickleball tournament?

Dakota, you coming, right?

I don't know. Maybe.

Who, who do you wanna be partnered with?

-I'm pretty damn good. -I don't care.

I have a feeling that you're probably pretty good.

I bet you'd beat Dakota.

You don't play pickleball? Do you play pickleball?

I, I play pickleball, so I understand the movements.

-[Jordan] How many times have you played? -You need to calm down real quick, buddy.

The only thing worse than Dakota's pickleball skills

is that disgusting thing he calls a mustache on his face.

It is... awful.

Went to some store the other day and I was getting glazed.

For some reason, I went in there and, like, every-- there was like,

you know, 20 old ladies in there.

They're like, "Oh, my God, look at you, you're such a great daddy."

I'm like, "Okay."

I was just, like, changing my baby's diaper.

They're like, "Good for you."

Um, Jace, how's, how's Mikayla? How are you guys doing?

Just chugging along.

As far as our issues that we're going through,

it's kind of just still in the same spot.

Right now, in Mikayla and I's relationship,

there's a lot of days where I'm feeling, I'm feeling positive,

but I wake up and I'm thinking, "Okay, things are gonna be better.

"We're gonna get a handle on this-- these skin issues

and these intimacy issues."

And then, there are days where I'm feeling like...

like nothing seems to be working.

We did go to a therapy session.

How are you guys?

I have to convince myself every day that she does love me.

I get so frustrated that I can't even get, like, a kiss from my wife.

[crying] I just feel--

I just feel so guilty that I can't, I can't show up for my kids

and I can't show up for my husband and I can't just--

I feel like I just can't do anything.

I think we're both feeling stuck and we're not sure how to navigate it

or where to push for movement.

So, like, how do you just stay cool with it if the progress isn't being made?

I'm not cool with it.

Wait, how long are we talking, Jace?

-Well, the thing is... -I don't know if that's super personal.

...it's not like she's saying, "We're not gonna do this ever."

It's just kind of a, "If we're ever going to do this,

"it's not gonna be for me. I'm not gonna enjoy it.

It's gonna be just for you." And so, I'm kinda, like--

Ah, shit!

I don't wanna do that. You know what I mean?

-That's so hard. -Yeah.

I'm definitely not okay with it.

But, like, I don't-- If me, me throwing fits about it all the time

and getting in fights about it, it doesn't help anything, so...

-I just feel like that would be so... -The only thing I can do

is just kinda be patient

-and be there for her. -...tough.

Have you even just thought about, like, how long you, you could, like--

this can last for? Kind of in the same situation?

-Where there's no progress? -[Jace] Well... Yeah.

I think growing up in Utah and in the Mormon culture,

it was very commonplace for men to be the one in charge and the provider.

DadTok is breaking that stigma.

And I think it's something that's been difficult for a lot of us.

Because of those cracks that are created,

sometimes, those cracks can turn into a lot bigger problems.

Honestly, we talked about this,

and I would probably do, like, something like a separation,

like Jordan and Jessi did, at that point.

And then we try that out

and if she was like, "You know what, I'm still not--

I don't wanna take this seriously. It's not important to me."

-Then... -Yeah.

[Jace] Then, that's that.

It's just a really tough, sensitive thing that--

And it's so tricky 'cause you can't be pushed

-into that kind of thing, is the thing. -[Dakota] No.

Anyway, appreciate us talking about it, though.

'Cause I feel like talking about it is only gonna help.

We've talked about a separation.

And we've thought about, if we separate, is it gonna create more space for you

to where you're gonna feel like you can work on these issues?

And that's kind of my intent behind it

'cause I can definitely feel hopeless at times.

It's a scary barrel of a gun to look down, for sure.

How 'bout, how 'bout we have an entry fee to the pickleball tournament,

is everyone has to, you know, go do an hour of therapy in order to get in.

[overlapping chatter]

I got enough credits, I got enough credits for all of you.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ I deserve it, I work hard for it ♪

♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme everything ♪

♪ I deserve it, I work hard for it ♪

[Jen] Oh, this restaurant's called-- Is it Jenna or Jemma?

Think it's Jemma, but we can call it Jenna.

[Jen] Jemma. That's cute.

♪ I deserve it, I work hard for it ♪

-[sighs] Well, you look nice. -Yeah. Thank you.

I like your shirt.

I got ready, I was-- Felt like we were going on our first date again.

-I was excited. Put on cologne. -[Jen] Really?

Uh-- I wish I could say the same. [laughs]

I'm a wreck. I stink. I smell.

My body hurts.

Zac and I are going on a date tonight,

and, to be honest, this is kind of a big deal because

I can't even remember the last time we had, like, a full-on conversation.

Our life has been so crazy.

Since Dancing with the Stars is eventually gonna come to an end,

I'm starting to ask myself, "Do I wanna stay in LA?"

You know, I kinda need to know will Zac support me,

or will it be too hard?

So, I feel like this date is gonna be really important to us.

Yeah, I'm tired.

You look tired.

Even though I'd-- I really wanna sleep right now,

I know this is important, too, and getting time together.

So, I'm glad that we can have this time.

I've been missing you. It's been--

It's been pretty tough.

Really?

The experience hasn't been fully... what I expected.

I knew you were gonna be busy,

but I thought we were gonna have time to do a lot as a family.

And I think I realized pretty quickly after being here

that that's just not what this is gonna be.

Like, I mean, I've never seen you work so hard, and I'm proud of you,

but at the same time, I'm like, I, I miss you.

Yeah.

And it's just been hard for me that...

like, we never see each other, like, we, we never talk.

It's definitely discouraging hearing Zac talk about

how hard it's been for him

supporting me on this journey just because,

the past five years of our marriage,

that's what I've been doing for him.

He always focuses on what I'm not doing now,

and he forgets, like, what I've done in the past.

It's unfair to put so much pressure on me when he had his turn

and now it's my turn to go after my career,

and he knows that and should support that.

Especially after, like, scoring low last week,

I've, like, put, like, more stress on myself

'cause I'm like, "I do not want to go home."

Like... it's a dream to get that Mirrorball.

Like, I want it so bad.

And so, I'm, like, working so hard,

but feel so much guilt being away at the same time.

It's, like, so much.

And I guess I feel bad, like--

Honestly, even just talking to you right now, I feel bad that...

it's been hard for you.

Does it scare you?

Like, if we were to, like, move down here and, like...

-I wanted, you know... -Like, pursue acting, singing,

like, more of the entertainment industry?

Yeah.

[Zac] Um...

Yeah, it does.

See, I don't want you to feel mom guilt, but, like, our kids do miss you.

I try my best to have a nurturing side,

but, like, I'm not, I'm not Mom, and I can't--

It's hard for me to fill that void with them even when I try.

-Yeah. -[Zac] And it makes me worried

for our marriage because...

I don't think this life in Hollywood's really set up--

Like, it's not really super conducive with, like, a healthy marriage.

For example, two days ago, where-- You know, Jan's a great guy.

I have no issues with Jan, super respectful.

But I'm sitting there, you know, walking through Disneyland,

watching my wife dance in front of Cinderella Castle with another man,

I'm like-- "Probably wasn't my plan A," you know?

-[Jen] Yeah. -Um, or plan B or C.

I think everyone knows

that Hollywood is probably not the healthiest place for marriages.

You see a lot of these actors be in relationships,

you see them get divorced multiple times.

I think it just-- it demands so much of you.

Like, I just wanna have open conversations

and I feel like, Jen, instead of wanting to talk to me about these things,

like, she just wants to avoid it.

I do feel like you being a wife has taken, like, the back burner.

I feel like it's Dancing with the Stars,

social media Jen, reality TV Jen, Jen as a mother,

and, like, Jen as a wife

-is not important. -Um... Mm-hmm.

Do not put-- The fact that you just said that,

that I'm putting that before mo-- like being a mom...

-Oh, no, no, no. Sorry-- -...is actually like--

-[Zac] I'm just saying, like-- -I'm not taking that.

I've put being a mom before--

I'm not saying-- I'm just saying-- What I was trying to say is,

being a wife, I feel like, takes-- is a back burner

to a lot of the other places that are pulling your energy.

This, this experience isn't for the weak.

Especially being a parent, it's hard.

It'd be so easy if, like, Whitney and I were single.

And we didn't have kids to come home to, a husb-- a spouse to come home to, like--

That's kind of a crazy comment.

It really would be a piece of cake.

Do you want a divorce?

[♪ tense music playing]

[♪ tense music playing]

No! Did you take my comment that way?

Oh, I, I don't know. I don't-- I didn't know how to take your comment.

I'm literally saying, talking to all the single people on there...

-Yeah. -[Jen] ...when they start complaining,

I literally start laughing 'cause I'm like, "You have no idea.

"You don't have kids to come home to. You don't have a spouse.

"Like, you literally don't have a spouse and kids.

Like, you have yourself. That's all you have to think about."

What it means to be a good wife in the LDS culture is,

you know, to be a stay-at-home wife, to cook, to clean.

I think that's still ingrained in him.

That's why it's even more important I do what I'm doing

because I want to be a representation that your life doesn't stop when you're a mom.

You matter too.

This is a season of life.

Like, just because it's a season of life where you're supporting me fully,

like, doesn't mean that there isn't room for you to grow in the future,

or you to do your own thing.

I don't think that either. And I don't-- I'm not trying to get at that.

And I'm not trying to get at, like, you feeling bad.

Like, that-- that's the-the opposite.

But I've literally, in a sense, given up everything to fight for our marriage

and to be here supporting you and your dreams.

I, I remember, like, for many years of our marriage

was only thinking about what I had to do next,

what was on my to-do list, what I was feeling,

-that I never-- -So, we're taking turns!

-Yeah. Yeah. -It's my turn now.

I don't know. Some days, I'm like, "This is too much."

Yeah.

To be honest, I'm very conflicted because [sighs]

I think it's really important that I push for my dreams and goals,

but at the same time, I do prioritize my marriage

and I do want Zac to be happy.

And so, I think that's something I'm just gonna have to take step by step.

♪♪

[♪ upbeat music playing]

-[Liann] Is that cute? -[Taylor] Hello.

[Liann] [gasps] Is that your mom?

-[gasps] Hi! -[Liann] Hi!

[Taylor] My handsome boy!

-[Liann] Hi. -[Taylor] Hi. How are you?

[Liann] Good, how are you?

[Taylor] I'm leaving for The Bachelorette,

and honestly, all I can think of is wanting to meet my dad's family

and maybe get some answers before going into that.

I was thinking maybe this weekend we could go to Colorado.

For what?

[Taylor] To get answers.

Did he ever wanna reach out? At any age? Any age?

Um, when he knew I got-- was getting married,

uh, big milestones, graduation, things like that.

Like, "Did he want to? Do you know that?"

Like, I would ask his friend or family, whoever I can get in contact with.

Are the kids-- Do you think, are his kids? One? Both?

Uh, do you think he has more kids out there?

Did he have any other girlfriends after that? Like--

I have so many questions, I could go off. Like, I don't know anything.

I think this just is really bad timing on your part 'cause we're--

you're gonna be leaving soon and this is, like, a huge thing.

I don't think there's ever a right time for this, to be honest.

So, have you talked to anyone from the family?

[Liann] Yeah, I talked to them.

And nobody's willing to talk to you.

Like, they're not-- want-- they don't want to.

You're not gonna be able to talk to, like, your-- maybe siblings,

you know, that you have.

[Taylor] I think it could be disruptive,

and I don't want to do that necessarily to a family.

I think that's why I'm trying to get on the side and just get answers

and I don't even need to do anything with them directly.

I just think that timing is, like, an issue and then just--

it could bring lots of emotions up and I don't know.

I'm obviously hesitant to go back to Pueblo

to bring out the old memories of Brian

and stuff that maybe Taylor won't be excited about

and might be very hurtful.

I want her to have a, a clear mind when she's going on The Bachelorette.

But Taylor needs all the facts, like, today.

If she doesn't get it, it makes her more anxious

and she just has to know.

So, it's better just to get it done and deal with it later.

I mean, I, I want you to know,

like, I want you to get the answers that you deserve

because I just think that you--

I just think that you deserve, like,

you know, you deserve...

so much.

And I just, I don't know.

Just being 17

and bringing a baby into the world just wasn't smart, you know? But--

Or at least, like, sometimes I wish,

I don't know, if I-- I coulda gave you up for adoption

and maybe you would've had a, a better life.

I don't, I don't know. Or maybe happier.

I've had a great life, uh...

I...

Sometimes.

It was hard finding out you're pregnant your senior year.

Not only was I young,

but I was gonna be a disappointment to my family, my religion,

you know, the people I go to church with.

And then, also not being stable in my relationship with Brian...

it w-- it was difficult.

And so, sometimes when I look at some of the choices that she makes,

I, I can't help but to feel like if I would've put her up for adoption

that sh-- maybe she would've been happier.

I don't mind, like, you wanting to know.

I just think all these years that, like, we really didn't talk about it,

you just never really asked about it.

Yeah, but you did-- you didn't talk about it at all.

And that's okay like that.

I understand you trying to leave it in the past, right?

But it would've been nice to do this when I was younger, for sure.

Yeah.

This is just hard, and I never, like, brought it to surface.

Yeah.

Well, I'm willing to go with you if that's what you want.

Yeah, I do. I'd like you to come.

There's a part of me that wonders

if this will hurt my mother's and I's relationship

and cause a bigger rift between us.

But if I do get a lot of questions out there asking about, like, my past,

think it'd be nice to have some answers

because, again, that could be down to the very, like, issues of my wounds

of things I maybe want answered.

So, I don't think it hurts to do this either.

[Liann] Like, I just don't know if you'll get the answers

and I don't know if it's gonna be a waste of time.

Well, I guess we'll find out, won't we?

Maybe.

♪♪

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Conner] Liam, don't climb up the slides, that's dangerous.

Go! Ah, Sedona's fast! Ah!

[Zac] How 'bout you make me a strawberry sprinkle one?

Ice cream!

[Zac] I'm looking forward to spending some time with Conner,

especially with someone who's going through such a similar process,

and I feel like he's been handling it super well.

And so, I even want some of his advice on, like, how he's coping with it

and just talk to, like, another adult human being.

Can you guys cook us something for dinner?

-I'd love a snack. -[Nora shrieks]

[Conner] Try and make me the grossest dinner.

[laughing] Yeah!

I feel like Zac and I, the idea of us both moving to LA,

both being stay-at-home parents, definitely felt less isolating.

Feeling like there was another person there

kind of walking a similar experience in life that I was.

Jen and I went on our first "date" last night.

She's just kind of like, "Hey, I'm loving being in L-LA

"and I, like, want to live here.

"And I wanna pursue, like, more opportunities out here.

Like, are you down for that?"

And I don't know how sustainable what we're currently doing is

for the long run.

And I feel like I'm gonna

-explode right now. -[Conner] It's-- It's a, it's a lot.

[Zac] Are you enjoying your break from work,

or do you feel like you could be a stay-at-home dad forever?

That's a great question. I need to have my own thing.

Whitney and I, we're, like, having this conversation

where she's like, "I think it's time for you to quit your job."

I feel like every time I come home from rehearsal,

I'm even more overwhelmed because we're both working.

There is, like, a gravitational pull around your career at the moment,

and I don't think it's too selfish for you to say,

"Hey, I could use the additional support

of you just being a stay-at-home parent."

Ultimately, I decided to leave my job as a technical analyst.

Let me tell ya...

loved my job,

and being a stay-at-home parent, it's very easy to lose a sense of self.

I was a little scared,

less about what other people were going to think about me

and more about how I was going to value myself

and how Whitney was going to value me.

Like, "Oh, am I gonna lo-- am I gonna lose her respect?"

I've tried to take this as an opportunity for me to express myself

in ways I don't think I would've had time for before.

So, something I've been doing...

-[Zac] Tell me. -[Conner] You're not gonna believe this.

Magic!

Have you?

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Conner] I've been practicing my close-up magic

-and that's given me a lot of purpose. -[Zac laughing]

I've gotten pretty good at it. I practice all night.

So, I can, like, make cards appear out of thin air.

That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Close-up magic is an outlet for me.

I would go to talent shows as a kid and I would perform magic.

[laughs]

Is that a little goofy? Maybe. But I love it.

As long as you can find the things that give you value or purpose,

like, being a stay-at-home parent can be not only fulfilling for your children

but fulfilling for you.

I just need something where I can, like, practice and train at.

I just need to stimulate myself some, yeah.

And to be fair, like, Whitney and Jen, when they were stay-at-home moms,

I think they felt the same way.

I think that's why they started TikTok.

-[Conner] That's exactly-- Yeah. -That's how they had their outlet.

I know it's just a season,

but a lot of times, I feel like I'm Jen's husband.

Like, that is my identity.

That's my TikTok, uh, bio. "Whitney's husband." [laughs]

I guess ever since, like, l-leaving medical school,

I'm like, I wanna do something that, like, stimulates my brain.

Something where I, like, I feel fulfilled inside of me

-not just as, like, a parent, I guess. -[Conner] Yeah.

I'm sorry it's been hard.

I don't think this is an easy experience, as fun as it is.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Jacob] You ready to play some pickleball?

I'm a little nervous 'cause I don't know how my team's gonna do.

They're a little bit on the beginner side here,

and you know I don't like losing, so...

Today is the first annual MomTok vs DadTok Pickleball Tournament.

With my tennis background, I'm obviously feeling very confident.

I know I'm gonna be the best one on the court.

Jacob will be the second-best, if I were to guess,

because he's pretty good, but I'm obviously better.

With me on MomTok's side,

I am confident that MomTok will be bringing home the trophy.

Oh, my gosh, she's making this, like, legit.

-[Jordan] Wow! -[Jessi] You're, like, getting tents out.

This looks good. Um, I don't think Jessi's on Mayci's team like you wanted.

We were trying to put you on Mayci's team so she'd get pissed off. [chuckles]

What? I wouldn't get pissed at her, actually.

[Jessi] After our anniversary dinner,

I feel like Jordan and I have just been really stuck.

'Cause I would just hit one-- I'd hit some lobs to her im-immediately.

[Jessi] I don't think I'm ready to take the next step

of, like, filing for divorce at this point.

Just walking away completely is terrifying to me.

So, I think I'm just waiting to wake up

and, like, feel it in my gut that I need to leave,

and I just haven't felt that quite yet.

-Hello! -Welcome.

-[Jacob] You guys ready to win? -Are you ready to lose?

-Wait, is this us versus MomTok? -[Jacob] Yeah, dude.

That's amazing!

-[Mikayla] You ready to lose? -[Jace] Sure.

Wow!

-[Mayci] Hello! -[group] Hi.

-Hi. -How are you?

-[Taylor] Good. How are you? Hi. -What's up, Ever?

So, you guys are playing too, right?

[Taylor] No, I'm not. I'm here for moral support.

Taylor's not able to play today

'cause she just got her girls redone. Love that for her.

Who's ready to get a good old-fashioned ass-whooping?

So, we are down a player on MomTok and Miranda decided to invite Shinia,

which I think will be a good addition.

Okay, welcome to the first annual MomTok vs DadTok Pickleball Championship.

[all cheering]

Go, MomTok!

[Jacob] There will be three MomTok teams and three DadTok teams.

There'll be five games total. One-game elimination.

And there is a big trophy for the winner.

And I feel like what we should do is whoever wins,

they get "MomTok" engraved in it, or "DadTok."

Whoever loses has to get "MomTok" tattooed on their ass.

-[group exclaims] -Yes!

[Jacob] 'Kay. Shinia and Miranda vs me and Jordan.

Let's go, guys.

[Mayci] Boo, DadTok!

[Miranda] 'Kay, let's go!

[Jacob] 'Kay, let the games begin.

Touch tips for good luck.

[♪ tense music playing]

Dude!

-[group cheering] -What are you doing?

Jordan!

Jordan! Jordan!

[laughing]

Match point.

Let's go!

Yeah! Let's go!

Shit!

[Chase] Oh! Sorry.

This is single-handedly setting back feminism by decades, guys.

Okay, next is me and Mikayla against...

Chase and Mase.

That was rude. Let's get a lead. Ready?

You can sit by me. It's not a sin.

-I'm not trying to-- "A sin"? -Or, uh, like a rule.

Sorry, baby, your ears are probably just ruined.

[laughing] From me.

-Sorry, babe. -I know.

He's like, "You're not even my mom."

Okay. She loves-- It's a girl, and she loves me.

-You said "he." -I said "it."

-Well, why'd you say "it"? -Because I couldn't remember.

You should see how much she smiles at me.

-She smiles so much with me. -Let me see.

Okay, we'll let you know she's happy now and let's take...

-Hi. -[group exclaims]

Hi.

I love how we're getting along now.

I've always been good.

[Jessi] Alright.

-No. I'm serious. -We're not gonna go that far.

[Mikayla] Got it.

Nice, Mayc-- Nice, Mayc!

-Fuck! -[group cheering]

-Great job. Great job. -Yes, good, good game.

[Jacob] Mayci and Mikayla won.

The next teams are gonna be Jessi and Layla...

-Woo! -[Jacob] ...playing team Jace and Dakota.

Oh, good luck.

-'Kay. -[Layla] I am actually genuinely scared.

-Oh. -Yeah. Good, good first try!

[Jace] That was the warm-up hit.

[Dakota] Oh, shit.

[Jessi] [laughing] Layla!

Just hit it like that but twice as hard.

We are about to absolutely embarrass the shit out of MomTok.

I am not athletic.

-[Jessi] Run! -[Layla grunts]

I'm just not coordinated.

-'Kay. Oh! -Oh, no.

I just-- I don't understand like-- [sighs]

-God! -[Jessi] Oh, my gosh, Layla!

The fact that they paired Layla and I together is diabolical.

Given Jessi's performance, you would never guess

that she has a whole-ass pickleball court in her very backyard.

Little quicker next time.

I'm just disappointed.

-[Jessi] That was it? -[Jace] Yeah.

[Jessi] Good game. [laughs]

How are you? Sad?

-Yeah. -Ah.

Shinia and I-- I have been really trying to help her with her recent breakup.

She does want just a friend to be like, "I get you, I understand you."

And I've been there, so, like, I just wanted to be there for her.

Update me. What, what's the verdict?

He blocked me on everything

and they're just acting like they're a perfect little family.

Why?

I'm sorry, but were they ever?

[Taylor] That is wild!

This is why I can't trust people-- any-anybody.

[Jordan] Jess, come here.

I am kind of wondering what's gonna go down with Shinia here right now

because Dakota and her did DM.

Oh! That reminds me. He sent Shinia a DM.

Wait, saying what?

-[Miranda] It was like-- -Was it flirtatious?

It-- Uh... I, I think kind of.

But it was kind of, like, open-ended,

-like, it was-- -Okay.

I'll, I'll see if she'll send me the screenshot.

Wait, that's so crazy.

-Don't make it a thing, like-- -No, I'm not.

I-I'm just saying, like, no one needs to make it a thing. It's just irrelevant.

I don't feel like it was that big of a deal

based off of what I heard.

But I genuinely feel like

we shouldn't tell Taylor anything at the moment

because Taylor's emotions are fragile,

and I just don't think that this is the best thing for her to hear

before The Bachelorette.

Mayci and Mikayla, you guys are up next. You're gonna play Jace and Dakota.

[Dakota] You ready for this shit?

[Mayci] 'Kay, let's do it.

You got it. Nice, Mayc.

-Shit! -[Jace] Oh, sorry, dude.

[Mayci] I know I can't miss one ball or else our team may go down.

I have to be the one to carry it.

But I played tennis, so this is, like, second nature for me.

Let's just get this done.

[Dakota] Damnit! Shit! Damnit!

-Go Mayci! Woo-hoo! -Yeah. Woo!

You got it? Mayci! Mayci!

I think Mayci's strategy is starting to make sense.

And that's for me to just sit back and let her take all the balls.

Just stay behind, get my back.

I'll just stand here in my miniskirt looking good.

I wasn't even paying attention there!

[Mikayla] Nice!

[Dakota] Damnit, Mayci!

[Mayci] Yep, we won.

-[cheering] -MomTok needs to bring home the win

'cause... DadTok.

So, bring it on, little boys.

Okay, it is time for the championship round.

We have Jacob and Jordan vs me and Mikayla.

-Woo! -Let's go, boys.

[Jacob and Jordan grunting]

Lord have mercy!

[♪ tense music playing]

[♪ tense music playing]

[Jessi] Go, M&M! Woo!

[♪ tense music playing]

[all cheering]

Let's go, Mayci!

-[Jacob] Oh, shoot! -Nice, Mayc-- Yeah, there you go.

Damnit!

Okay, we got this in the bag.

[♪ tense, dramatic music playing]

Scoot up. Scoot up. Oh! Oh-ho!

[Jace] Game point.

♪♪

-[Mayci] Aw, shit. -[Jordan] Let's go!

-[Jace] DadTok, 7, MomTok, 5. -[DadTok cheering]

DadTok wins.

[Mikayla] Get your shirt back on.

This is way too much testosterone. I'm out.

You guys, I am ashamed.

We didn't take it home for MomTok. DadTok won.

And the reason why it hurts is because the ego, they just have such big egos.

[Dakota] Mayci! Look! [laughs]

[Mayci] The one thing you've won in life, Dakota.

Yeah, it's a joke, and I shouldn't have lost.

-That's hilarious. -[Jordan exhales]

That was depressing.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ It's gonna be alright ♪

♪ It's gonna be alright ♪

♪ Alright ♪

Zac and I are starting to question what's next for us.

I'm starting to ask myself what do I want? Uh, what do we both want?

Do I wanna stay in LA? Do I want to move back to Utah?

Am I gonna continue going to the LDS church?

How was today?

It was tiring just with the kiddos.

-Yeah, it can be a lot. -Yeah.

I dunno how we're doing this. This is crazy what we're doing.

Having a family and also trying to pursue a career is really, really tough

because it's almost like someone has to...

Get the short end of the stick.

Someone has to get the short end of the stick

and kind of sacrifice their life or their goals or their career

at least for a period of time

for the other person to thrive and do what they wanna do.

-Yeah. -So, it's so hard to balance.

Like, how do we find all of that and how do we both, like, live our dreams,

but also give our kids what they deserve,

and how do we also keep our marriage healthy and happy?

But it's so hard to do all of it. Like, it's not possible.

Yeah. Have you talked to Conner about it?

Like, how is he juggling?

I mean, if it tells you how he's doing, he's trying to become a magician.

Isn't that funny?

It's great! It fits Conner perfectly.

Like, he's trying to find himself, and, like, I'm proud of him.

-[Jen] That's awesome. -Like, I told-- I was telling him today

like, "You've inspired me to, like, try to figure out what I wanna do."

Talking to Conner definitely helped.

And, you know, whether people think it's silly or not,

like, seeing Conner pursue something that makes him happy

also has, like, made me realize, like, I need to not just have this mindset

of like, "I'm surviving and, like, I'm taking care of the kids for, like,

a period of time." This might last forever.

And so, I think I need to find a way

to find joy in this journey and find my own things.

And so, Conner kind of made me want to, like, try to go find my own thing

and have some stuff going for me as well.

Do you realistically see us staying down here

and somehow, you know, supporting me and still my dreams and goals

while trying to pursue yours?

I feel like our marriage has matured and grown a ton,

but I have realized there's more hard conversations that need to be had.

I think there's more therapy that we need to do.

I think there's, honestly, like, more, more of a connection with God

because it's so easy to get lost.

I mean, I think that's work that I'm 100% willing to do

and I, I hope we can do together.

Like, I wouldn't want you to turn down opportunities...

because of, like, my insecurities.

Like, I want to do the work so, like,

we can both do all the things we want to do...

while still making it work.

Well, thank you for supporting me in all my dreams and goals.

Like, I genuinely can't tell you,

like, how grateful I am for you in this season of life.

I know this is not what you expected, and I know it's been challenging for you,

but, like, honestly, like, I think there have been moments in our marriage

where I've been like, "I don't know if this is gonna work."

And, honestly, like, this stage of life has just reconfirmed for me

just, like, how much you actually care and how much you, you love me.

And... I just wanted to let you know.

Well, thank you.

I still question if I'm doing the right thing,

and I can't help but feel, like, a lot of guilt and shame

trying to pursue my career.

I know you're so tired.

I worry if Zac's truly gonna be fulfilled and happy in our marriage

or would he be happier with a traditional wife?

I don't know. I guess we just have to--

-Take one step at a time? -Take one step at a time.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

That feels good. It's nice and warm and toasty.

I know, it's cold here and cloudy.

It is, huh. What's up with this weather?

-Yep. -Hopefully.

My mom and I just got into Colorado

and my biological dad's family is not super comfortable

with wanting to be on camera and give us answers

and, and, and, you know, talk about this at all, to be honest.

However, we found someone that does want to.

And we are meeting up with my biological dad's best friend.

[Liann] Have you talked to Steve, like, Brian's friends?

-No. -[Liann] No?

If you want, I can call him right now.

We can ask him if he's down to meet up. Maybe we can go meet him.

He probably knows him better than anybody because they've been friends for so long,

I think, up until he passed.

So, I'm really hoping to get as many answers as I can through him.

When's the last time you saw him?

-Who? Steve? -Mm-hmm.

A long time ago.

Do you even know what he looks like?

-[Liann] Yeah. -You do?

-Yeah, I'm Facebook friends with him. -Mm.

Did you ever like him?

-We went out. -You did?

-[Liann] Yeah. -Like, you dated him?

Yeah, he was, like, my-- he was my so-called "boyfriend"

for, like, 30 days or I don't know how long.

-Wait, what? -No, twe-- maybe, like, two weeks.

Wait, so you dated best friends?

No, I-- that was before I dated Brian.

I know, but, like, they were best friends, so you dated him after.

Oh. Yeah.

[Taylor chuckles]

Homie Hopper. That's what they call it.

-Yeah. -[Taylor] That is funny.

Being back in Colorado definitely is giving me more anxiety

about meeting with Steve, Brian's best friend.

It's bringing up all these emotions that I have put in the back of my life

and something that I just don't want to have to bring up again.

It's just overwhelming.

How is Jessi and Jordan doing?

Is their relationship any better?

-No. I think-- -[Liann] No?

No, I think she ends up leaving him.

[gasps] You do?

Yeah. I've always told you that.

I know. That's sad, though.

I like Jordan.

-Ew. Why? -I just do.

He's like Dakota.

All they do is lie and play telephone. It's weird.

They tell everyone everything, and then they, like, twist it.

It's weird shit.

And him and Dakota, it's hard when you hear things

'cause it's, like, they're both liars,

so now it's like you don't even know which one.

-It's like-- -We don't need to talk about that.

That's like, we're-- I wanna get over that.

I do not wanna talk about Dakota right now

because she goes from 0 to 100

and she gets really upset, and then it gets me upset,

and it's just not good for anybody.

And especially to bring up when we're going to meet Steve.

-[Taylor] All you do is deflect. -[Liann] You deflect!

And I think it's weird that if he does all this stuff

that you kept going back and forth with him

-and sleeping with him. -Then you're not listening ever in therapy

because it's a cycle. How many times have we gone over this?

I've already explained that to you.

Why are you asking me that right now?

My mom triggers me because it's what she says, how she says it,

her face, the approach.

'Cause she's so judgmental about Dakota.

So, it's like, "You're not getting it. You're not getting it."

And honestly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I already told you. I didn't think it was g--

-I didn't care if he dated-- -Lied?

If he lied when you first dated him.

I already told you that 500 times.

Why-- How do you not get it?

This is not how I wanted the trip to start.

Taylor has so much resentment and anger built up with Dakota,

and I don't understand why I get to be the person

that she always takes it out on.

I already told you where I felt.

Those were my feelings. I didn't care!

You didn't care? Good to know!

No, I didn't care that he dated other girls

-when you first dated-- -That wasn't the point!

-It's the fucking lies the whole time! -[Liann] I don't care!

What do you mean you don't care?

I cared about that. I cared about that later on.

Why didn't you ask him then?

"Why did you lie to our daughter for two years, you disgusting human?"

-Why didn't you ask him? -We didn't know he lied all that time.

We knew that he lied when he first dated you, and you told us.

We found out that day that we--

-Stop yelling. -No, you can't fucking talk. Listen.

-No! Stop yelling. -You're the fucking mom.

-You're the fuck-- Be a fucking mom. -[Liann] I don't care.

Stop-- Stop yelling! Stop yelling!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

-You don't need to raise your voice. -Yes, I do.

-Talk regular. -Why can't you?

-I am. -Control yourself.

I'm not talking this loud!

-Yes, you are. -No, I'm not.

Stop talking and listen!

That is very... frustrating.

The one person that's supposed to be there for you screaming at me.

And I feel like I definitely don't wanna be here

and emotionally drained too.

So, like, I don't wanna hear it.

If you wanna just maybe be left alone.

-You're a child. Goddamn! -You are!

Goddamn!

♪♪

-I have a meeting lined up with Ford. -Are you serious?

-Layla, nice to meet you. -[crosstalk]

All us girls are getting such cool opportunities.

Like, I'm just excited that I get my chance now.

[Liann] We came all this way.

You wanna know who your biological dad is?

Taylor's dad and Dakota are very similar.

I chose not to go with him because of you.

[Jessi] Have you talked to Dakota lately?

[Jordan] He did tell me he's seeing somebody.

-Do I know her? -Yeah.

[Jessi] And he won't tell you who it is?

He's being weird about it.

We are 100% gonna get to the bottom of it.

-Who is it? -So, who is it?

-No, I'm not, I'm not gonna-- -Must be someone consequential then.

I've been playing a little bit with fire.

Dakota, that's so bad.

[Miranda] I just wish if you were gonna do this,

you would've done a helluva lot better job at hiding it.

I mean, I probably was never gonna tell you.

MomTok really needs to rally right now.

I called you guys here

'cause there's something else he did, though, that's worse.

What is it?

But look, I'm so sorry. I really am.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[sighs] My God, this is a mess.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ I let it go, I let it go ♪

♪ I don't have time for any haters ♪

♪ Yeah, you know ♪

♪ Already know, already know ♪

♪ I don't have time for any haters ♪

♪ Yeah, you know ♪

♪♪

[♪ music fades out]