Original subtitles

Yes, I will email you the sites.

Okay, bye.

Morning, Penny.

A feast for the eyes.

Well, you definitely could be the next Bond.

That's because I'm so dangerous.

Suave.

Sophisticated.

Clearly.

So, any news on Pard?

No idea.

You'll have to wait for his eminence.

But... You made the agency demo reel.

Oh, I think it's coming up next.

Here it goes.

Wow!

Do you ever get that nasty feeling you just can't shake?

Relief is now available.

Percolax.

Relief in blue.

I really don't want to know how you prepared.

No, you know... It... Marty's off the line.

Go right ahead.

Hey.

What can I do for you?

What can I say?

I don't know.

You got it, kid.

You got the new root beer commercial.

All right!

This is big.

Really.

National commercial.

It's gonna play often and for a long time.

Ka-ching!

Ka-ching!

That irritated bowel spot, it's getting a lot of airplay.

I think that might have helped you get the root beer gig.

Marty, thanks.

You deserve it, kid.

Now get out of here, will ya?

I got work to do.

Hey, look, it's Bowgun.

Hey, Bowgun!

You da man!

Thanks, guys.

Oh!

This meatloaf is delicious.

And it doesn't upset your stomach.

Mom, I don't have irritable bowel syndrome.

I was acting.

Yeah.

His acting was so good, you believed it.

So, when is all this acting gonna start paying?

Oh, I don't think you realize just how big this

root beer commercial is I'm shooting tomorrow.

I mean, it's a national run, so it's like winning the jackpot.

Yeah, once the residual checks come in.

But for now, I mean, it's peanuts.

It's a day's pay.

It's bupkis.

I'm very happy for you.

I mean, for 15 years, you have struggled to survive on an artist's budget.

The future is bright.

Well, the present is tight.

And I saw where you're still using our card

to pay off your insurance premium this month.

And I'm gonna pay that back soon.

Thank you.

I had lunch with your old teacher, Brenda Post.

Now she's the principal at that new Creative Arts and Technology High School.

I love Brenda.

You know, she's the reason I got into acting in the first place.

Oh, now we know who to thank.

Hush.

One of her English teachers is going out on maternity leave for the rest of the year.

She needs a sub.

She thought of you.

Sweet of her.

Don't really think... What's to think?

You spent two years getting your teacher's credential.

Fifteen years ago as a backup plan.

Exactly.

Can't hurt to have a backup plan.

Yeah, it's a couple of months.

You pay down your debt.

And if this commercial pays off... Dad, it will.

Well, then the rest is just icing on the cake.

Where's Brenda's phone number?

I don't...

Roll sound.

Rolling.

Aim mark.

And ready and action.

Double R root beer.

True spirit of the West.

Cut.

Let's try one without the accent.

Okay, here we go.

We're gonna go in quickly.

Jimmy Crafty, where is he?

We're going right away, guys.

Right away, right away.

Here we go.

Action.

Double R root beer.

The true spirit of the West.

Cut.

Nailed it in two takes.

I think she likes you.

So, get this.

They're gonna air this commercial when the new Bruce Willis Western is released.

When's that gonna happen?

Couple of months.

Marty, I need cash right now.

Man up.

You just made a national commercial that's tied to a major Hollywood picture.

When this airs, you're gonna be milking this cash cow for a year.

Ka-ching.

Hey, Mr. Freddie.

Hey, Mr. Intestine.

Oh, you saw my commercial.

Yeah, it runs during the 11 o'clock news.

What I haven't seen is the rent check.

I'm sorry.

It's a little late this month.

I got a dozen people that want this apartment.

Look, I just shot a national commercial today.

I'm not gonna be late anymore.

It's just gonna take a couple months till it starts running.

Okay.

I got plenty of moving boxes if you need any.

So, the check from today's day of filming, it's gonna be ready next week.

I can give you that.

Yeah, I'd consider that if, uh, I could hold something as security.

Okay.

Um...

I don't really think I have anything you need.

Oh, but I think you do.

I swear I didn't do it, Principal Post.

I've been framed.

Wayne Wenders, as I live and breathe.

Come on in.

Sit down.

Wow.

Principal's office.

I feel like I'm in trouble already.

You are if you decide to teach high school.

Huh.

So, is this the pep talk part?

I've seen grown men cry, women join a convent, anything

to find an easier life than teaching high school.

Oh, that sounds great.

When do I start?

I just wanted to warn you.

I know it's temporary, but I think you are the perfect person to substitute teach.

You see, changes this late in the year can be difficult for the students,

but you are living the moment style.

It's just what we need.

So, you're looking for a kamikaze?

Mrs. Henderson, the teacher that you will be

replacing, was working on Shakespeare with her class.

And your theater background would be a perfect fit.

Finally, because it's useless in my current line of work.

And you will be teaching a full English course.

You know, grammar, vocabulary, the works.

So, you'll be working under the supervision of

Amy Danville, the head of our English department.

Brenda, I want you to know I really appreciate this opportunity.

I have great confidence in you.

Oh, this is Loretta.

Mr. Wenders.

Loretta is our office manager.

She is omnipotent and omniscient.

Is that true?

I knew you were going to say that.

It's true.

She is omniscient.

Believe me, around here, I'd rather be oblivious.

Ah, oblivious and omnipotent.

You should consider politics.

This way.

Bye.

Oh, God.

Amy, I... I'm sorry.

Listen to this malapropism.

The boy was very angry because his father had

left without him to go shoot the peasants.

Oh, hi.

Oh, I want you to meet Wayne.

Wayne.

This is Amy Danville, Wayne Wenders.

Wayne will be filling in for Mrs. Henderson.

Oh, okay.

Nice to meet you.

Sorry, have we met before?

Oh, um, the...

Are you ill?

The irritable bowel syndrome.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

No, no, I don't have... I don't... It's a commercial.

I'm the bowel dude.

People recognize me from this commercial.

I'd forget it.

How do we get Mr. Wenders up to speed?

When will he start?

Monday.

Monday.

You mean this Monday?

Yes.

Tell you what.

Read this right away to acquaint yourself with our philosophy of education.

Oh, correlational of language arts standards to pedagogical

methodologies in a project-based learning environment.

Wow, somebody likes to use words, huh?

Amy, uh, wrote that.

Keys.

If you lose them, you pay to have the whole campus rekeyed.

I'll guard them with my life.

Yeah, I recommend a retractable belt key clip.

Practical and budget-friendly.

Thank you.

This is the state-mandated training video on blood-borne pathogens.

It could save your life.

I've got some popcorn on the way home.

Email ID, temporary password, district business only, no personal emails,

and our firewall will block all shopping media and social networking sites.

What do I do for fun around here?

I heard you were quite the joker, Mr. Wenders.

You're going to want to watch that around

the kids if you expect to be taken seriously.

Oh, yes, I almost forgot.

On behalf of the faculty and administration, welcome.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Oh, no.

Brady, hold up.

Hey, I'm coming.

Hey, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Hey, guys.

My name is Wayne, Mr. Wenders.

I'll be taking over for Mrs. Henderson while she's on maternity leave.

So I hear that you guys have been... Yes?

Aren't you that bowel guy?

Yes.

Yes, I am.

Now that we've gotten that fascinating fact out of the way, let's get back to one

of the coolest playwrights to have ever lived, Shakespeare.

Do you really have irritable bowel syndrome?

No, I don't.

So how many of you guys... Did you actually take the medicine?

No, it was a commercial.

Well, that doesn't seem very honest.

Well, I think the audience understands that actors

sometimes pretend to be people they're not, right?

For instance, Shakespeare... But it doesn't say so in the commercial.

It does, too, in a really fast voice at the end.

Yeah, and they cause headaches, bad breath, sweating,

memory loss, paranoid delusions... Students.

And this dude's only an actor.

Why don't we start with a play you guys all know?

You read Hamlet last semester.

Who can tell me something?

Something that they liked about Hamlet.

The end.

It was boring.

Mr. Winders, we have a question.

Last question, then back to the Bard.

Yeah.

What would happen if someone took the medicine, even

though they don't actually have irritable bowel syndrome?

I don't know.

Irritable bowel syndrome.

Hey.

Wow.

Tough first day.

Does our insurance cover post-traumatic stress disorder?

How did Shakespeare do?

Okay.

I give up.

Tomorrow.

Grammar.

Your first lesson plan?

Brilliant.

I'm just... A little overwhelmed?

Terrified, actually.

If I can't interest them in the greatest playwright of all time, how am I going to

make punctuation and... parts of speech appealing?

Huh?

No.

One?

Make it fun.

Use your own showmanship and the humor.

Make it cool.

Visual.

Be creative.

Have a good night.

All right.

Attention, folks.

Your attention, please.

Now in this day and age of texting, instant messaging, Twittering,

and Twittering, we have let go of the proper grammatical form in the quest to

use the least amount of characters possible.

But I remind you, form matters.

Punctuation means something.

It has crucial meaning.

Take, for instance, the following phrase.

What's that ahead in the road?

With very few changes we can get.

What's that ahead in the road?

All right, folks.

Settle down.

Settle down.

It's just grammar, but as you can see, it's quite crucial to your survival.

Now today, we are going to be getting back to basics.

We're going to be working on prepositional phrases.

But before we do so, I would like to demonstrate

to you the amazing power of prepositions.

Please stay right where you are.

I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... On.

Yes, that's right.

I am on the desk.

I could not be on the desk were it not for the preposition on.

And on the desk is a prepositional phrase.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Standing on the desk, I hear.

Trying to move up in the world.

Student film contest.

I was an actor.

I was an extra on a movie once.

In my younger days.

Now that is a waste.

You, Miss Loretta, are definitely leading lady material.

So how is it that you heard I was up on my desk?

Hmm?

It's all the talk.

Stanville, you have a sec?

Yeah, sure, come on in.

How are things going?

Better.

I survived prepositional phrases.

Survival is good.

Important first step.

Listen, um, there's this citywide student film contest.

And I was thinking, we have all this video equipment.

Can you connect the films to the curriculum?

Absolutely.

I mean, the kids are always complaining about how boring Shakespeare is.

But I just think if we can act it out,

they'd see it for the brilliant drama it is.

It's just, it's impossible to teach them that.

You have to show them that.

They have the...

What?

I can sort of see why Brenda hired you.

Because she was desperate.

Yeah.

Look, um, I think making little Shakespeare movies is a great idea.

Just don't ignore the rest of the curriculum.

You know, we have test scores to keep up.

Yes, ma'am.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Anytime.

Oh, Mr. Winders.

Standing on the furniture.

Oh.

That's smart.

Yeah.

So.

Tell me, how is our Mr. Winders doing?

All right.

Yeah.

He had a bit of a rocky start there, but I think he's finding his way now.

Good.

Thank you for giving him a helping hand.

He is one of the good guys, you know.

Let's hope so.

See you later.

Later.

So, for next Tuesday, I'd like each of you to pick your favorite character from

Hamlet and write a one-minute monologue as that character.

About the toughest moment in your life.

I doubt Hamlet ever had this much homework.

Okay.

So, before we go to lunch, I wanted to talk to

you guys about the upcoming student film festival.

I thought we could try and shoot some Shakespeare

scenes as short films and submit them.

That sounds cool.

So, we get to make movies instead of reading the plays?

No.

We still have to do the reading.

And it's still Shakespeare, so it's still boring.

Yep.

Okay.

Think about it.

I mean, the really cool part is we can do the scenes.

And all different kinds of styles.

I mean, look, we don't have to do Shakespeare and period costumes, right?

No?

Of course not.

We can shoot Hamlet.

Like Star Wars.

Hamlet returns home from school on another planet to find out his father,

the interstellar ambassador, has been murdered by

his uncle who wants to be the Galactic Emperor.

Or Midsummer Night's Dream.

There's a really dark Alice in Wonderland world.

Yeah.

That would be nice.

That's exactly right, J.D.

I mean, that's great.

I'm going to find a play where the only women aren't evil or crazy.

So, for Tuesday, please, a paragraph on what scene you're doing.

What would you like to do and why?

And we're going to sort you out into groups.

Journals, please.

Thank you.

Thanks, guys.

I, uh, need you to copy my reel.

Wow.

The initial works of J.D.

Forrester?

I can't wait to watch this.

Thanks.

Hang on a second, J.D.

I got a feeling about something.

Do me a favor.

Can you autograph that for me?

Um, yeah, sure.

I, uh, I never gave my autograph before.

Well, you better get used to it.

I think you have a fan.

That kid, he's amazing.

Why don't you come eat in the teacher's lounge?

I'd love to, but these journals aren't going to grade themselves.

Oh, come on.

It builds camaraderie with your colleagues.

Come on.

Come on in.

We don't bite.

I fed the spider to the fly.

The movie star mixes with the common folk.

Yeah, well, it's kind of lonely at the top.

Oh, yes.

This, um, must all be very different for you.

Not what you're used to.

Excuse me?

Teaching.

Uh, more work.

Less reward.

Starving artists just are happy when the check's clear, I guess.

Wait till the budget cuts kick in.

You'll feel right at home.

Bye to you.

You would agree that the entertainment industry is notorious for its excesses.

Oh, absolutely.

I'm just saying that I wish some of those excesses

made their way over to me once in a while.

I don't mean any disrespect, but I've always thought that it required a certain

amount of selfishness to be an artist of any kind, starving or successful.

Is that not the guy who does lunch?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm serious.

Here we are in a world where millions of children are starving every day,

and there I am, strutting about in front of

the camera, painting my pictures, doing my art.

A world without art?

I don't know why I didn't think of that.

I didn't, I didn't... No painting, no sculpture, and no theater.

Mm, mm-mm.

Okay, you're not willing to have a serious conversation.

Seriously, then.

Come on.

Without art, what's going to inspire you?

What's going to inspire us, huh?

What's going to inspire our kids to end the hunger you're talking about?

Good teachers.

So teach what, exactly?

Math, but not music?

Science, not Shakespeare?

That's a good point.

It's a setup, I tell you.

A setup.

Yeah?

Where's your proof?

They all say that.

You want proof?

Look at me.

Look at me in my eyes.

You know me.

What does your heart tell you?

You.

Okay.

Good.

Oh.

You're the irritable bowel syndrome guy.

Yeah, that was a fun one.

Would you mind sending in the next person, please?

Hello?

Marty, it wasn't an audition.

It was psychological torture.

The casting director read with me.

What's the technical term?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, brain-dead.

Wayne, you still there?

Sorry, can I call you back?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, right here.

Thanks.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

You stalking me, Mr. Winders?

Well, I was going to ask you the same thing.

I live just around the corner.

That's your excuse, huh?

Well, I am meeting a friend who lives in the neighborhood.

Okay.

I think I believe you.

You want to come join me till she gets here?

I don't really think that's legal.

It might be seen as fraternizing among staff.

Oh, right.

Yes, of course.

Well, we are off school property, and this meeting is entirely happenstance.

All right, all right.

As long as we're very clear on the parameters.

So clear.

So tell me the truth.

Mr. Winders, are you enjoying teaching at all?

Actually, I am.

I'm surprised.

I just didn't think it was going to be so creative.

You know, it's like you have to find a way to trick your students into learning.

You know, each lesson is this little show you

put on, hoping it's going to blow them away.

I guess your acting background must really help, huh?

Well, it helps me survive.

Each time I'm up there petrified, I just pretend to be in control.

You know?

Yeah.

You know, I have a really great respect for actors.

Oh, yeah?

No, I could never do it.

Never try it?

Um...

Yeah, I did once.

It was in high school.

My junior year.

They had auditions for Romeo and Juliet.

And I was a really awkward girl.

I...

You?

I was shy.

Yes.

Oh, glasses.

I had braces.

And... Yeah.

The whole thing.

So... I had to work extra hard.

Wow.

And?

And, uh...

I literally couldn't speak.

Well... And that always happens.

So... I... Ran out of there.

Ever... Ever try it again?

It was a defining experience.

It was a fascinating moment, shall we say.

Well, for what it's worth, I would cast you as Juliet in a heartbeat.

Thank you.

Hey, Marty.

Oh, no, it's Dara.

Marcy's in a meeting, but I've got a good one for you.

Can you make it to Culver City by 4.45?

Um, barely.

But, uh... Yeah, I think so.

Perfect.

Where can I fax the sites?

Fax?

Who faxes anymore?

Just email them.

Look, production is super paranoid.

They won't send anything online.

Get me a fax number.

Uh... All right, hang on.

Hello, Sloan Talent Agency.

Oh, they're on the radio.

Oh, good.

Oh, how good is it?

It's great.

I love it.

I know.

It's nice.

Hey, what was the audition for, honey?

Ah.

Fertilizer commercial.

I almost died on the freeway for a chance to sell fertilizer.

Well, stick with teaching.

Double life's gonna kill you.

Dad.

Come on.

She speaks!

Oh, speak again.

Bright angel.

Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name.

Cut.

Cut.

Hang on.

Look.

Um, these guys are teenagers.

Just like you.

Okay?

They're teasing.

They're testing.

They're working it.

Okay?

So just take a breath.

Try it again.

Okay?

Hello, Ms. Danville.

Hello, hello.

Sorry, guys, didn't mean to interrupt.

Hang on a second.

Um, could use your help.

Uh, with what?

Well, these two could use a taste of how the dialogue should flow.

It's not really working with me reading both parts.

No, no, no, no.

I... Please.

I can't.

Please, Ms. Danville.

I need to hear a woman do this.

Every time Mr. Wenders reads it, I can't take him seriously.

Okay.

My Juliet needs a little bit of work.

Please.

Come on.

Yeah, come on.

Come on.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Here, let me take those.

Come here.

Come here.

Come on.

You ready?

Yes.

She speaks.

Oh, speak again, bright angel.

Oh, come on.

Oh, Romeo.

Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father, and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

and I'll no longer be a Capulet.

Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

Tis but thy name which is my enemy.

What's in a name?

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself.

I take thee at thy word, call me but love, and henceforth I never will be Romeo.

What man art thou that thus was screened at night, so stumblest on my counsel?

By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am.

How cam'st thou hither?

Tell me, and wherefore?

The orchard walls are high, and hard to climb,

and the place death, considering who thou art.

If any of my kinsmen find thee...

And that ends today's presentation of Impromptu Shakespeare.

Everyone back to class.

You were great.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I could kill you.

You were terrific.

I am going to have to give you detention, mister.

Worth it.

That was fun.

It was.

It was fun.

All right, I got to go to class.

You do too.

Marty, I got a minute.

I got some good news for you, kid.

I totally agree with you.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

You okay, Mr. W?

Oh, yeah.

I just, uh, I love grammar.

I love it.

Come on in, please.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on in.

No.

Hello, ladies.

Is the principal in?

No, monsieur.

She's having lunch off campus.

Oh.

Did you win the lottery or something?

Almost.

They moved up my commercial.

It starts tonight.

Major networks, 8 o'clock on the dot.

How exciting!

No more Bowel Guy.

Now we have Cowboy Root Beer Dude.

A fine example for our students.

Sid, don't be a party pooper.

Sorry.

I'll go get the silly hats and confetti.

You know, I have a feeling he doesn't like me.

Well, I'll be watching for it.

Great.

It's coming up, Mom!

Come on!

Hurry!

You know, this whole thing is backwards.

He mutes the programs and then he turns it on for the commercials.

How's the job going, honey?

Yeah.

Oh, you mean the job I no longer need?

You're not going to quit, are you?

No, of course not.

I promise, Brenda.

Besides, the kids are really enjoying the short films we're making.

Here's a break.

Okay.

They got a name for it.

There it is.

I hope this is it.

It's coming.

All right.

Things are different out here.

Skies are wider.

The land goes on forever.

We take care of things in our own way.

We always have.

It's not cheap.

Like everything else, a western thirst is its own special kind of thirsty.

A thirst that means business.

A thirst that needs to be tamed.

So when you've got a thirst as big as the Grand Canyon...

Here we go.

...don't make a greenhorn mistake.

Reach for Double R Root Beer.

Made in the West to lasso a western thirst.

Double R Root Beer.

The true spirit of the West.

So round yourself up a six-pack of Double R Root Beer, partner.

Available at fine grocers everywhere.

Darling, wasn't that supposed to be you?

Could it have been... Oh, honey.

Oh, boy.

Oh, jeez.

Well, next time...

Okay.

They say their demographic skewed more female than male.

That's why they went with the girl.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

This has nothing to do with you.

Whatever.

So...

What's our next step?

I'll tell you the truth.

I'm having a little difficulty getting you in the door.

People see you as the irritable bowel syndrome guy now.

They don't want that associated with their product.

So... So what do we do now?

Give it some time.

How long do I keep my head in the sand?

I don't know.

Hey, Mr. W.

What's up with him?

Heard he got cut out of his commercial.

Guys.

Come on.

I have an idea.

Come on.

Hey.

I know.

That caught me out.

Sorry about that.

Listen.

Brenda wants to see you.

Just...

Tell her I'm gonna get something to eat.

It sounded serious.

Mr. Troutman has noted some unprofessional activities, such as bad attitude,

incomplete paperwork, missing assemblies, commandeering school equipment for

personal reasons, use of the school office equipment for personal business,

such as the fax machine.

I missed an assembly once.

I used the fax machine once.

I will gladly reimburse the district if they prefer.

Of course.

This is nonsense.

The fact is...

Troutman can create problems for both of us if he wants to.

You do want to keep this job, don't you?

Yes.

Now I really need this job.

Look, I'm sorry about the commercial, but I went on the line to get you here.

Please don't make me regret it.

Hey there.

The teacher apple thing is a little cliché, but it's a cool image.

Sorry about the commercial, Mr. W.

Thank you, guys.

I needed that.

Come take a look.

Stunning.

The poems are beautiful.

Wayne?

Wayne, you there?

Lord, is that you?

Very funny.

Your team needs you on the field.

On my way.

Duty calls.

Yeah.

Go.

Let fall thy blade on vulnerable crests.

I bear a charmed life which should not yield to one of woman born.

Despair thy charm, and let the angel whom thou stillest serve tell thee,

Macduff was from his mother's...

It's two hours after school, and they're still having a blast.

Well, I've got the bug.

We'll have the, as our rarest monsters are, painted on a pole, and underwritten here.

May you see the tyrant.

Excuse me.

All of you need to get your stuff out of the building.

Cut!

We're rolling here, Mr. Troutman.

Sid, you don't have to worry.

I'll lock up.

You can go home.

Thank you for covering.

Hey, Mr. Wenders, could you give us a hand?

Um, something's not working.

We really need you.

Ah, you better go.

They really need you.

The camera?

No, I feel like we need just a little more advice to this action scene.

Is that, uh, subversive propaganda?

Hardly.

Henry, five on it.

That's Branagh's best Shakespeare.

Thought I might try to get a group of teachers to go together.

Might be fun.

Would you like a ride to the movie?

Yes.

Um, but, uh, you know, just so we're, we're clear.

Um, it's not, I can't, it's not a, you know, date.

Of course not!

No!

It's a...

A collaboration.

A group of staff members seeking to enrich their knowledge of the immortal bard to,

to expand their skills on their own initiative.

We could even put in for overtime if you like.

Okay.

All right then.

It's, um, not a date.

Um, all right.

Well, see you then.

Have a good night, Mr. Wenders.

Good evening, Miss Danville.

Good evening.

Wow, that was fast.

I live on the first floor.

Oh.

You, uh, dress up nice.

Thanks.

Here, let me get that.

I

think it's amazing that someone can write something 400

years ago and it still touches people so much today.

That stuff worked.

It had to.

Shakespeare had to please everyone from the groundlings who would throw their food

if they were bored, to the queen who could have his head if she was displeased.

Hm.

Well, talk about stage fright.

Here's the car.

Um...

Go get some coffee.

Yes.

Uh, as long as I don't stay out too late.

No, of course not.

It's a school night.

Yes, it is.

So what do you mean you didn't date in high school?

Why not?

I did.

Jeez.

Guys, I told you.

I just can't believe it.

I was really awkward.

If Bill Gates looked like you, I would have asked him out.

No.

You would have done well for yourself, huh?

Well, not sure I would have been his type.

You know, for not a date, I'm having a really... wonderful time.

Yeah, me too.

Hello.

Good morning, Mr. Wenders.

Hello, Miss Danville.

What?

I see nothing.

Nice work.

There you go.

Spencer.

I haven't the words to describe beauty.

But I can introduce you to her if you'd like.

I'm done.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hey there.

Here.

Is it for the toast?

Mm-hmm.

You're welcome.

Nice to see you.

Nice to meet you.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, thank you.

Room.

I'm the beautiful bride.

Ah, thanks, John.

Thank you.

So what's a nice girl like you doing working with my son?

He's actually quite charming.

Oh.

Yeah.

Here he takes after his dad.

Well, you hear right.

Oh, please do not encourage him.

Let me get that.

Okay, everybody.

First, I want to thank you so much for being here on this special occasion.

And now, a toast to the love of my life.

That'd be me.

That is you.

And to you, on our 40th wedding anniversary.

My dear, like fine wine, you do not grow older.

That's more expensive.

No.

My son, the comedian.

No, like fine wine, you grow more delicate, richer, and more pleasing with every year.

Here, here.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Thanks for not saying full-bodied.

But bear it as our Roman actors do, with untired spirits and formal constancy.

So, good morrow to you, everyone.

Wow.

Man, that's really great, Jamie.

Thanks.

Two suggestions.

I would use at least one more wide angle.

It's a little claustrophobic.

And using a wider angle is going to give it a little more scope.

Also, I would lower the music cues.

It's kind of leaning on your dialogue.

Um, got it.

I... Oh, sorry.

Hey, Marty.

You still alive?

Yeah, I know where it is.

I could be there if I leave now?

Okay.

Yeah, thanks.

Okay.

Uh, I gotta go somewhere.

Audition.

How did you know?

Makes sense.

Look, I'm not supposed to leave you alone here, but I trust you.

Just make sure you're out here before they turn the alarms on.

Got it.

Good work.

Thank you.

Perfect.

An audition.

Not district business, Winders.

Meet me at Ice Cream Shop.

Isn't that sweet?

All right.

Let's see.

Who else you've been emailing?

A zombie movie, huh?

Well, it's a leading role.

I usually don't get to read for movie parts this big.

Do you have to eat brains?

For this role, I would eat brains all day long.

I haven't had an audition in so long.

All right.

You know, you should do more theater.

Yeah.

Teaching's kind of the perfect day job for it, right?

Most rehearsals are at night.

Yikes.

Hmm.

What?

You make it sound like I'll be... What do you mean?

You make it sound like I'm an amateur.

No.

No.

Okay.

Sorry.

People use the word amateur like it means not good enough to get paid, but ama,

love, toure, one who.

It just means one who does it for love.

Well, I can assure you, mademoiselle, I do it for love.

Hey, if a full-time teaching position came up next year, would you consider it?

Next year?

Oh, yeah?

What?

No, I just, I've never really been in a next year scenario.

Always gig to gig.

You two working late?

Sid, hi.

Yes.

What a surprise.

I've come by for a bite to eat.

Who do I see?

Yeah.

I'm surprised, too.

I never really took you for an ice cream.

More of an ice cream guy.

More of a liver and onions.

Yes, you with your jokes.

It would be interesting to see you in a, um, serious situation someday.

Mm.

Well, enjoy your evening.

Yeah.

See ya.

Stop.

This isn't funny.

He saw us together.

This is, this is bad.

What can he do?

One of us could have to transfer schools.

You really think so?

Hey, Marty.

I'm about to head in.

You've got to be kidding me.

Oh, that's awesome!

You just found out?

And what's the pay?

You didn't actually think that I would be happy about this, did you?

I know and I feel terrible, but you have to understand what a break this is for me.

I can't turn down a lead role six weeks.

Did I imagine that you said you would commit to this job?

Well, I assumed it was a given if I got a major role.

Hamlet on Broadway, maybe, but a zombie movie in Canada, really?

I have another week.

You can get a sub for my classes, and I was hoping you could run Movie Night.

Oh.

All right, I can host the film screening, but I cannot oversee their projects.

More importantly, have you thought about what this is teaching your students?

So, the poem celebrates Van Gogh's brilliance,

balanced against the terrible loss of his death.

Please write a one-page response to this for Monday.

How else can we measure success besides money?

Hello, Mr. Wenders.

Stanbo?

What?

I got the lead.

Zombie movie.

Oh, I didn't know you had so much!

Six weeks in Toronto.

Wow, when does it start?

About a week.

A week?

We got a lot to talk about.

Tonight, we celebrate.

Guys, sorry.

You're leaving us?

I was just gonna tell you guys.

How'd you find out?

I was making script copies in the office, and

I overheard the principal telling Loretta.

Yeah.

Well, I have no choice.

This is the chance of a lifetime.

What about us?

All our projects?

Yeah.

Come on, you guys are doing great.

JD's cuts are fantastic.

Principal Post is gonna run the screening.

Oh, great.

They'll get a sub for my classes.

Anyone can do my job.

No one did before.

JD, wait!

JD!

I'm gonna be here for a whole nother week.

Okay, guys?

Let's stay focused.

We want to finish this year strong.

You know, I was thinking, after you finish school, I could fly you up to location.

It'd be fun.

Yeah, maybe.

You okay?

Sorry.

Sorry.

I'm just a little tired and confused.

I think I just need a good night's rest.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I know it's weird.

I feel terrible about it on the one hand, but I can't pass up this chance.

Yeah.

No, I'm sorry.

I...

I mean, a zombie movie.

It just does not strike me as such a good movie.

It's a great opportunity that you can walk away from the kids.

Well, a lot of successful actors started in horror, so...

I know.

I'm...

Like, I'm not questioning the nature of the opportunity for you.

It's not about that.

It's...

I mean, I think I just need a little time

to... to process this whole thing, that's all.

Yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night.

Can I come in?

Um... Sure.

I, uh... I heard about Wenders.

I'm sorry.

I know you two had become... close.

I don't really care to discuss it.

Oh, but I think there's something you should know.

Uh, had he not quit, I might have had him fired.

For dating me.

Oh, no.

Amy.

It turns out...

he was playing us all along.

We did an email audit.

I know, some of the personal ones I managed to keep out of the file.

But...

there is a whole series with his agent.

From the beginning... he was begging to get out of here.

And he does not describe us in the kindest terms.

I guess it's all been an act.

Ladies and gentlemen... I'll be honest with you.

I was shocked at the poor level of writing these essays.

It was like you gave up.

You can't do that.

Mr. Wenders.

What's wrong?

I'm just really busy.

Is there something you need?

Yeah, I need you.

What's the matter?

I'm at a loss here.

Yeah.

Well, then as am I.

Hey, I know you're upset about the job.

Amy.

Hey.

What about us?

Us?

Half of us is you.

Amy.

See, I don't know who that is.

Look, I don't know what happened.

Okay, I'm sorry about my decision.

You work so hard.

And the kids work so hard.

Dad, I'm an actor, okay?

This is what I do.

Well, so act.

You know, do your plays and your summer stock.

Make something for the tube you.

It's YouTube.

It's not the same thing.

Look, I'm a professional.

I'm finally being offered a lead role.

I need to take it.

Son, I honestly believe that if you do this,

you may regret it for the rest of your life.

How can doing a horror movie ruin my life?

I'm not talking about this stupid film.

And commitment is action.

And there's a real acting lesson for you, buddy.

You know what?

I need to take a walk.

Wayne!

Let him go.

Not wanting to grow up, Peter stayed in Neverland.

Wendy grew old, but never forgot about him.

It was love in its purest form.

The end.

Miss Stanville, are you okay?

Uh, yes.

I'm sorry.

That was just... It was such a good book report.

I'm just really moved.

Good job.

Okay, who's next?

Good night.

Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow.

Cut!

Okay, that's good enough.

Let's wrap it up.

Good enough?

Good enough.

Where's your passion, huh?

Where's your commitment?

Is the lesson in irony?

Touche, Mr. Forster.

In fact, it is, but, um, the lesson wasn't for you to learn.

It was for me.

See, the great thing about being a teacher is

that you get to keep learning from your students.

And in this case, you, my students, my collaborators.

You taught me a whole lot about creativity, about

commitment, about what it means to be a teacher.

You see, this is the nearly tragic story of a man who was given a great

opportunity, an opportunity to use all his talent, his heart, his mind to do

something extraordinary, and he nearly walked away from it.

I want you to know I'm proud of every single one of you.

I hope you can forgive my temporary lapse in judgment.

I'd have to be crazy to walk away from what we're doing here.

You're passing on the zombie movie?

I don't need zombies.

I get to work with real monsters.

Come on.

We got work to do.

Let's go.

Let's try it again from the top.

All right, people.

What's up?

Mr. Winders is staying.

I knew I was right about him.

I just knew it.

Good news, huh?

J.D.

How could you do this to your favorite teacher?

There you go.

Thanks.

Wayne, I'm pleased you came back for the kids and for the movie projects and,

well, I guess for me.

But I'm having a hard time reconciling my feelings with these emails you wrote.

I fear that this is the real you.

No, I would have known if we did an email audit.

Yeah, but where did she get these?

I don't know.

But I know someone who could help us figure it out.

It's Troutman.

He must have scanned the emails from here.

You should never forget to log off your

account when he printed them out in his office.

His mistake was he didn't erase it from the print logs.

Well, I didn't know how.

Marty, thank you for getting me out of here.

I couldn't keep up this performance or even with such a gullible audience.

Pretty as one may be.

Oh, ouch.

But I didn't write that.

There it is.

Troutman wrote it himself, but... He never sent it.

He didn't want you to be alerted by your agent.

Plus, he didn't even insert your agent's email address.

Obviously, it wasn't written by you.

Kid, I'm just glad you're on our side.

Yeah.

JD, you did great.

Really.

We gotta get ready for tonight, though.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wait.

Break a leg.

Isn't that what they say on opening night?

Thank you.

And Mr. Wenders is the teacher responsible for tonight's cinematic entertainment.

Mr. Wenders, may I introduce Mrs. Isabel Bayless of the school board and Ms.

Millicent Kane, vice chair of the district education committee.

Well, welcome.

Pleasure.

Pleasure to have you here.

I can't really take much credit for the kids.

Kids did all the work.

Hope you enjoy yourselves.

Hello, Millie.

What a surprise.

Sid didn't tell me that you were planning on coming.

Ladies, we're just here.

JD, come to the stage door.

Mr. W is giving a pep talk.

Well, as they say, it's showtime, folks.

How many of you guys are nervous?

Yeah.

I am.

Yeah, me too.

I gotta tell you, I've done a lot of shows in

my life, but I have never been this excited.

I'm really, really proud of yourselves.

We're proud of you, too, Mr. W.

You da man.

All right, let's get in there.

Remember, you guys, break a leg.

Proud of you.

Go on.

Woo-hoo!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our first

ever senior student Shakespeare film festival.

Please remember to turn off your cell phones, game

consoles, and any other weapons of mass destruction.

And now, here's your host, Mr. Wayne Wenders.

Oh, Dad, hi.

Thank you all.

I'm very proud to be here tonight.

Just wanted to bring your attention to the front row,

first of all, and also back in the booth, Mr. J.D.

Forrester.

These are the young filmmakers who get to see their

work in front of a real audience for the first time.

They all deserve a huge round of applause for their hard work, their talent,

and their commitment.

So then, um, without much ado, enjoy the show.

Mr. Wenders.

Uh, Ms. Danville.

Bravo.

It was an excellent show.

Thank you.

The principal informed me that, um, you

were the victim of malicious identity theft.

So, um, does this mean we're collaborating again?

I was kinda hoping more along the lines of fraternizing.

I'm gonna give you two detention.

It's worth it.

Now, sir, what is your text?

Most sweet lady.

Oh, a comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it.

Where lies your text?

In Orsino's bosom.

In his bosom?

In what chapter of his bosom?

To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.

Oh, I have read it.

It is heresy.

Have you no more to say?

Good madam, let me see your face.

Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face?

You are now out of your text, but we will

draw the curtain and let you see the picture.

Look you, sir, such a one I was this present.

It's not well done.

So, Amy, have you decided when exactly...

This new kid, Amy Danville, is a pretty good actor, huh?

Brilliant.

She has a very committed fan base.

So tell me, how is it being a producer of Summerstock Theatre?

Oh, the perks are great, but the pay is horrendous.

Speaking of pay, I'm dealing with some staff problems at my day job.

Oh.

Now that Troutman has been transferred to a new school...

Surprise, surprise.

And Mrs. Henderson has decided to take a year off to be with her baby.

I'm searching for a suitable replacement.

Does this mean I'll get a trailer?

No.

Huh.

But there is money in the back end.

No.

I believe I will have to check with my people then.

You do that.

See you tonight.

Okay, folks, let's break.

Fifteen minutes.

Please be back in fifteen minutes.

Is Brenda okay?

Oh, she's okay.

She just, you know, wanted to offer me a job.

Full-time teaching position.

Kidding.

What did you say?

Well, you know I've had problems with commitment in the past.

Right.

So?

So, first things first.

As Miranda said to Ferdinand and the Tempest, I am your wife if you'll marry me.

If not, I'll die your maid.

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

That's beautiful.