Original subtitles

Please, dinner.

Please don't tell me you're having some existential crisis about a journal you

and my son used to jerk off to.

Like I said, that journal is the reason I have every issue in my life right now.

It's why my life's spiraling.

Okay, elaborate.

Well, Damon has a thing for my mom.

And I find out that my mom has a thing for Damon, too.

Really? Yeah, Damon actually sent me a snapshot of them talking on this dating

site. And yesterday they actually met up.

Did Damon tell you that?

No. I went to go visit my mom yesterday and I saw Damon's car in the driveway.

So I have a confession.

When our dating profiles matched, I thought you were just being nice.

Well, I've always had a crush on you.

I just didn't know how to tell you.

Glad the internet did it for me, though.

But you haven't always had a crush on me.

Why would you say that?

Because I'm Seth's mom.

So? Seth has a crush on my mom?

No.

No, he hasn't.

Yes, he has.

And it's always been a joke growing up.

I had a crush on you.

He had a crush on my mom.

We promised each other we'd never do anything about it, but...

Today I'm breaking that promise.

Come here.

Watch this.

I haven't been in my friend's room since he moved out.

What are you doing?

What? You don't snoop?

No, never.

Really?

We have to go through your stuff all the time.

No, you did not.

Maybe you should find a better place to hide your vibrators.

First place someone's going to look is the panty drawer.

Damon, really?

I knew it!

Your mom is still just as beautiful now as she was then.

Hey, how did you know this photo was here?

Because I'm Seth's best friend and I know everything.

Everything.

And it probably wouldn't be a good idea if his girlfriend saw it was in here.

She wouldn't be too happy about that.

Probably not.

But look how young she was.

How tight her body is.

Oh my god.

I miss the days my body was this tight.

Come on, it still is.

Shut up.

You want to hear something funny?

What? Remember those days we used to come over during the summer and hang out

the pool?

Well, sometimes I'd be laying there with my sunglasses on, looking at you in

your bikini.

Oh my god, you are such a pervert.

Let's just say I've always known that I've won.

Wait. We cannot do this in my son's bedroom.

What do you mean?

Fuck Seth. He doesn't even live here anymore.

Good luck.

Enjoy it.

Uh -huh.

I'm playing this moment over and over again in my head for years.

Oh, yeah?

Uh -huh.

I can't wait to see what you have to do.

Oh my God, that's so sexy.

I'm with Summers at the pool. I'm staring at you.

Naughty, naughty boy.

God, this is just what I have always envisioned.

God,

this feels so good.

I've been wanting you to do this for so long.

Oh, yeah, put it. I want you to touch it. I want you to touch it. Yeah, rub it

like that. Keep talking.

Like that?

Mm -hmm.

Like when I tell you what to do to me?

Mm -hmm.

Keep my puppy nice and warm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can't believe we're actually doing that. You can't? Oh, I've been wanting

do that.

I thought you were going to tell me, but... Listen, you can't tell, so this

our secret.

Oh, I like that, yeah.

Give that to me.

Do you want me to do that? Yeah, do that.

I miss you.

I love you

so

fucking much. Yeah, I do.

I can't fucking wait.

That's good. That's good. That's good. Oh,

shit.

Oh, no. Get down.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yes.

Oh,

yes.

Oh, my God.

Take those off.

Take those off. I can't wait.

Let me out of here.

Oh my God.

Oh my

God.

oh my god

I like that. I like how feisty you are.

Thank you.

lick it from back to the... Yeah, I can tackle it.

Oh, my God. Oh,

my God. Oh, my God.

Yes, please.

Check that.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

Uh -huh.

Oh,

get it off. Get it, get it, get it.

Yes.

Donor team.

Yeah, excuse me. Come on. Yeah, you want one more?

Oh, shit, this is about to break. No, it's good.

Fuck's best dead.

It's fucking dead.

in Twin Dead Forever.

Thank you.

I'll follow you.

I'll follow you. Keep going. Keep going.

oh my god

oh my god right there

This is our secret right?

Same for me.