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1
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,894
OH, SO IT'S YOU, BODECKER.
2
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,596
SMART, YOU'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO SAY,
3
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,598
"OH, SO IT'S YOU, BODECKER."
4
00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:25,135
- FIRST, THE PASSWORD.
- RIGHT.
5
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,271
A WET DUCK ONLY
FLIES AT MIDNIGHT.
6
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:31,007
THE NIGHT IS THE
DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND.
7
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,010
WHEN THE SWALLOWS
COME BACK TO CAMPOBELLO,
8
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,948
THERE'LL BE BLUEBIRDS OVER
THE WHITE CLIFFS OF DOVER.
9
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:40,550
- OKAY, SMART.
- OH, SO IT'S YOU,
BODECKER.
10
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,251
- NO.
- "NO"?
11
00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:45,421
YOU'RE ALWAYS GETTING ME AND
BODECKER MIXED UP. I'M ROSENCRANTZ.
12
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,691
- OH, SO IT'S YOU,
ROSENCRANTZ.
- NO.
13
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:51,027
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE
MY CODE NAME ON THIS CASE.
14
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,163
- WHAT'S YOUR CODE NAME?
- BODECKER.
15
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,165
- BODECKER.
- DO YOU HAVE THEM?
16
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,467
YES, I HAVE THEM, BUT
THEY'RE FOR YOUR EYES ALONE.
17
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,404
THEY'RE TOP SECRET. HERE
ARE YOUR SEALED ORDERS.
18
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,405
THE ENVELOPE WASN'T SEALED.
19
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,909
WELL, MY ORDERS WERE THAT
THE ENVELOPE WASN'T TO BE SEALED.
20
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,212
- CAN I SEE YOUR ORDERS?
- THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
21
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:12,170
- WHY?
- BECAUSE MY ORDERS
ARE SEALED.
22
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:16,419
THIS IS AN ODD ASSIGNMENT.
23
00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,358
WE'RE TO BREAK INTO
THIS MANSION AND TAKE A
24
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,412
PICTURE OF A PORTRAIT
HANGING IN THE LIBRARY.
25
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,896
OF COURSE. WHERE ELSE
WOULD THEY HIDE A PAINTING
26
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,931
EXCEPT BEHIND A WALL SAFE?
27
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,333
- LET'S OPEN IT.
- NO. THERE'S NOT
ENOUGH LIGHT.
28
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:32,724
I'D BETTER USE SUPER-SATCHEL.
29
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:40,343
THAT'S TERRIFIC! WHAT
DID YOU CALL THAT?
30
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:43,446
- SUPER-SATCHEL.
- I'LL HAVE TO ORDER
ONE FROM CONTROL.
31
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,049
NO, DON'T GET IT FROM
CONTROL. THEY'LL ROB YOU BLIND.
32
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:49,308
- WHAT DO I DO THEN?
- YOU'D BETTER GET IT
FROM A DISCOUNT SCIENTIST.
33
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,657
NO! DON'T DO THAT!
YOU NEED GLOVES.
34
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,859
I HAVE GLOVES.
35
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,895
NO, NOT THOSE KIND OF GLOVES.
36
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,153
FINGERPRINT GLOVES.
37
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:09,773
THESE ARE THE
FINGERPRINTS OF KESSINGER,
38
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,008
A KAOS AGENT.
39
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,277
ANYTHING WE DO,
40
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,568
HE'LL BE BLAMED FOR.
41
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,822
I CAN'T HEAR THE
TUMBLERS CLICKING.
42
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:28,946
I'LL TRY.
43
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:33,796
NO! DON'T DO THAT.
YOU'LL LEAVE AN EAR PRINT.
44
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,053
HERE, HOLD THIS.
45
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,259
KESSINGER'S EAR.
46
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,086
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
47
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,556
- WHO IS SHE?
- AMANDA KRISPIN.
48
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,725
OH, YEAH. HIS ESTRANGED WIFE.
49
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:06,496
SHE LEFT HIM BECAUSE SHE WAS
UNHAPPY AND WENT TO PITTSBURGH.
50
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,498
SHE COULDN'T HAVE
BEEN THAT UNHAPPY.
51
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:12,268
AND THEN SHE TOOK
OFF FOR PARTS UNKNOWN.
52
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,226
- SOMEONE'S COMING.
- I GOT TO TAKE A PICTURE.
53
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,886
YOU BOOST ME UP,
THEN I'LL PULL YOU OVER.
54
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,677
GOOD IDEA.
55
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,248
- I'D BETTER GET
A STRONGER GRIP.
- GOOD IDEA.
56
00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:44,734
MY GRIP IS SLIPPING. I'D
BETTER SPIT ON MY HANDS.
57
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,691
GO RIGHT AHEAD.
58
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,443
I'LL BOOST YOU UP,
THEN YOU PULL ME OVER.
59
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,400
GOOD IDEA.
60
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,253
YOU OKAY?
61
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,288
PERFECT, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
62
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,278
- WHAT?
- NEXT TIME, THAT WAY.
63
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,389
HURRY!
64
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,730
OKAY. UPSY-DAISY.
65
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:32,115
- ONLY ONE OF US
CAN MAKE IT.
- YOU GO.
66
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,550
- YOU GO.
- YOU GO.
67
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,586
- NO. - OKAY. I'LL GO, YOU STAY.
68
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,888
- AND I SALUTE YOU.
- NO, THERE'S NO TIME.
69
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,546
- - HURRY! SOMEONE'S COMING!
70
00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,458
OOF!
71
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,129
THANKS.
72
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:07,139
BODECKER, I SALUTE YOU.
73
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:13,216
WE HAVE GOT TO FIND
THOSE KRISPIN PAPERS.
74
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,185
THEY CONTAIN THE NAME OF EVERY
ENEMY AGENT OF THIS COUNTRY...
75
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:19,122
EVERY POLITICIAN, EVERY
HIGH-RANKING ARMY OFFICER,
76
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,257
EVERY DENTIST WHO
OWES ALLEGIANCE TO KAOS.
77
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,259
YES, WELL, HOW DO
WE FIND THEM, CHIEF?
78
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,261
KRISPIN WOULD DO ANYTHING
TO GET HIS WIFE BACK.
79
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,263
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE A
TRADE... HIS WIFE FOR THE PAPERS.
80
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,499
BUT WE DON'T HAVE HIS WIFE.
WE JUST HAVE THAT PHOTOGRAPH.
81
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,534
OH, I THINK WE HAVE
MORE THAN THAT, 99.
82
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,103
MAX, THIS IS WHY I WANTED YOU
TO TAKE THAT PICTURE LAST NIGHT...
83
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,294
TO COMPARE WITH THIS ONE.
84
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,113
BUT, CHIEF, IF YOU
ALREADY HAD A PHOTOGRAPH
85
00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:43,913
OF AMANDA KRISPIN, WHY
DID YOU NEED ANOTHER?
86
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,604
THOSE TWO PICTURES
ARE NOT OF THE SAME GIRL.
87
00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:52,688
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
- THAT IS AMANDA KRISPIN;
THAT IS MIMSI SAGE.
88
00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:55,124
BUT THE RESEMBLANCE
IS FANTASTIC!
89
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,126
Max: EXCEPT FOR THE GLASSES.
90
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,829
IT'S OUR PLAN TO HAVE MISS SAGE
IMPERSONATE AMANDA KRISPIN.
91
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:02,031
OF COURSE, SHE'LL HAVE TO
BE TRAINED. SHE'S NOT AN AGENT.
92
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,300
- WHAT DOES SHE DO?
- WE DON'T HAVE MUCH ON HER.
93
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,336
WE KNOW THAT SHE
WRITES CHILDREN'S BOOKS.
94
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,005
SHE WROTE "THE TIGER THAT
COULDN'T," "THE ELEPHANT THAT WOULDN'T"
95
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,741
AND "THE PUSSY
THAT WOULD LIKE TO."
96
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,043
WELL, DO YOU THINK WE CAN GET
HER TO COOPERATE WITH US, CHIEF?
97
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,546
I DON'T KNOW. I THINK SHE'LL HAVE
TO BE TALKED INTO BEING A SPY.
98
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,981
YES, WELL, I'M WILLING TO
TAKE A FLING AT IT, CHIEF.
99
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,651
- YOU START TOMORROW.
- COULDN'T I START
THIS AFTERNOON?
100
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,920
NO, MAX. I WANT YOU TO
READ ALL OF HER BOOKS,
101
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,922
GET TO KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU CAN ABOUT HER.
102
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,592
OH, INCIDENTALLY, WE HAVE INFORMATION
THAT GRUVNIK OF KAOS KNOWS ABOUT MISS SAGE.
103
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,594
HE MAY BE AFTER HER TOO.
104
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,598
- GRUVNIK THE SPOILER?
- BUT I THOUGHT GRUVNIK
WAS WITH THRUSH.
105
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,000
YES, WELL, HE WAS TRADED
JUST BEFORE THE DEADLINE
106
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,269
FOR A ROOKIE KILLER AND
TWO MINOR-LEAGUE MUGGERS.
107
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,939
- WOULD YOU LET ME
GO WITH YOU, MAX?
- UH, NO NO NO NO.
108
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,941
I'LL BE PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT, 99.
109
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,898
I WON'T.
110
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,828
- WATCH YOUR HEAD
ON THAT THING, 99.
- RIGHT.
111
00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:15,671
- HELLO.
- HELLO.
112
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:19,141
UH, I'M MAXWELL SMART. I'M A
GREAT ADMIRER OF YOUR BOOKS.
113
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,312
- OH, THAT'S NICE.
- I'VE READ EVERYTHING
THAT YOU'VE WRITTEN,
114
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,415
FROM "THE CLOCK THAT LOST ITS
TOCK" TO "HAPPY HIPPO TAKES A TRIP."
115
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:28,284
YOU READ "THE CLOCK
THAT LOST ITS TOCK"?
116
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,286
HARDLY ANYBODY READ THAT.
117
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,789
OH, I READ IT. I
REMEMBER IT WELL.
118
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,591
"TICK AND TOCK LIVED IN A CLOCK,
119
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,927
AND ALL DAY LONG,
THE CLOCK WOULD GO,
120
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,196
'TICK-TOCK, TICK-TOCK.'
121
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,298
THEN ONE DAY, TICK
AND TOCK HAD A FIGHT,
122
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:45,668
AND TICK WOULDN'T TALK TO TOCK,
AND TOCK WOULDN'T TALK TO TICK.
123
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,405
SO TICK RAN AWAY, AND THEN
ALL THE CLOCK COULD DO WAS GO,
124
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:52,008
'TOCK, TOCK, TOCK.'"
125
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,710
- YOU DID READ IT.
- YES. I COULDN'T
PUT IT DOWN.
126
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:57,613
- I WAS UP ALL NIGHT WITH IT.
- WELL, IT'S ONLY 12 PAGES.
127
00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:59,782
UH, 12 PAGES. YES, WELL...
128
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:03,520
THERE'S SOME VERY SMALL PRINT
THERE. I REREAD IT MANY TIMES.
129
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,188
WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE
FOR ME TO AUTOGRAPH
130
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,512
A BOOK FOR YOU, MR... MR. SMART?
131
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,696
HOW ABOUT THE GUEST
BOOK IN MY APARTMENT?
132
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,765
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
FOR DINNER TONIGHT?
133
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,534
UM, EATING.
134
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,138
EATING. YES. WELL,
COULDN'T WE EAT TOGETHER?
135
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:26,030
OH, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T. I HAVE
TO WATCH A MOUSE TONIGHT.
136
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,712
- A MOUSE?
- YES.
137
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,581
YOU SEE, I DO MY
OWN ILLUSTRATING,
138
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:35,685
AND I HAVE TO STUDY THE MOUSE
SO I CAN DRAW IT FOR MY NEW BOOK,
139
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,687
"SEYMOUR, THE
PSYCHEDELIC MOUSE."
140
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:41,223
"SEYMOUR, THE
PSYCHEDELIC MOUSE." YES. OH.
141
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,325
WELL, COULDN'T YOU DO
THAT TOMORROW NIGHT?
142
00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:46,562
OH, NO, I RENTED THE
MOUSE FOR TONIGHT.
143
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:50,632
MISS SAGE, I'M WITH THE
GOVERNMENT. WE NEED YOUR HELP.
144
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:53,035
THE GOVERNMENT?
145
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:56,438
WELL, I CERTAINLY WANT
TO HELP THE GOVERNMENT.
146
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:59,041
THAT'S OUR GOVERNMENT, ISN'T IT?
147
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:01,043
UH, YES. YES, THAT'S
OUR GOVERNMENT.
148
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,427
I'M WITH THE CONTROL AGENCY.
149
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,316
YOU'RE A SPY!
150
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:10,652
YOU'RE A SPY! YOU'RE A SPY
AND YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU!
151
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,654
- A SPY!
- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
152
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,857
YOU SEE, YOU'RE PUTTING
ME OUT OF BUSINESS.
153
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:18,160
IF EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT I'M
A SPY, THEN I'M NO LONGER A SPY.
154
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,362
OH, I'M SORRY.
155
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,464
WHAT DO YOU WANT
FROM ME? INFORMATION?
156
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:25,134
WE NEED YOUR HELP. IT'S VITAL.
157
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:28,503
- YOU WANT ME
TO BE A SPY?!
- SHH! SHH!
158
00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:31,640
NO, I CAN'T, UH...
I CAN'T BE A SPY.
159
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,443
I... SPIES, UH...
160
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,446
THEY... SLINK WHEN THEY WALK,
161
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,448
AND I CAN'T SLINK.
162
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,718
WELL, SPIES DON'T SLINK
ANYMORE. THAT'S OUT.
163
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:45,221
BESIDES, THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD "SLUNK."
THAT'S ONE OF THE BEST "SLUNKS" I EVER SAW.
164
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,523
I'M NOT CUT OUT FOR SPYING.
165
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,992
YES, YOU ARE. BESIDES,
THIS ASSIGNMENT
166
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:52,595
MAY HAVE AN EFFECT ON THE
WHOLE SECURITY OF OUR NATION.
167
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:55,631
- YOU'VE GOT TO HELP US.
- BUT WHY ME?
168
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,233
BECAUSE YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU.
169
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:02,605
OH, WELL, I DON'T LIKE TO GET
INVOLVED WITH VIOLENCE. I DEPLORE IT.
170
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:05,908
WELL, LOOK AT CHILDREN'S BOOKS.
THEY'RE FILLED WITH VIOLENCE.
171
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:09,344
BUT THAT'S ANOTHER KIND.
THAT'S FRIENDLY VIOLENCE.
172
00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:11,948
THE PEOPLE WHO KILL EACH
OTHER LIKE EACH OTHER.
173
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,905
OH.
174
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,653
YES. WELL, LOOK.
WHAT IF I PROMISE
175
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,011
TO KEEP YOU AWAY FROM
ANYTHING THAT'S BRUTAL?
176
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,898
Chief's voice: GRUVNIK OF KAOS KNOWS
ABOUT MISS SAGE. HE MAY BE AFTER HER TOO.
177
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,500
UH, MIMSI, AUTOGRAPH
A BOOK FOR ME,
178
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,657
AND USE MY FULL NAME... MAXWELL.
179
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,073
AND ONE FOR MY
NEPHEW, MONTGOMERY.
180
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,575
WELL, IF YOU REALLY
CAN, I MEAN, ASSURE ME
181
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,577
THAT THERE'LL BE NOTHING
UNPLEASANT OR PHYSICAL...
182
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:44,935
- I PROMISE YOU
THERE'LL BE NO VIOLENCE.
- THAT WAS "MONTGOMERY"?
183
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,986
AND MAKE ONE OUT
FOR MY AUNT GEORGE
184
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,288
A-AND MY UNCLE,
UH... MY UNCLE ROBERT
185
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:55,213
AND TO ANYBODY ELSE...
186
00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,029
THIS IS SO DIFFERENT.
187
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,955
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D EVER
BE A... A YOU-KNOW-WHAT.
188
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,339
I MEAN, I NEVER, UH... I NEVER
EVEN WANTED TO BE ONE.
189
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,975
EVER.
190
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,378
MR. SMART, I HATE TO
KEEP HARPING ON THIS,
191
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,414
BUT MY ONLY CONCERN
IS THAT THERE BE NO VIOL...
192
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,549
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- OH, NOTHING.
193
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,319
I JUST PICKED UP A
COPY OF "WAR AND PEACE"
194
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,643
AND GOT INVOLVED.
195
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,660
UNBEKNOWNST TO YOU, AGENT 86,
196
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,662
AND TO YOUR CHIEF,
197
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,998
I HAVE HAD EVERY PHASE
OF THE TRANSFORMATION
198
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:39,468
OF MISS SAGE INTO AMANDA
KRISPIN PHOTOGRAPHED
199
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,204
BY SECRET CAMERA.
200
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:46,042
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU TOOK
PICTURES OF US WITHOUT OUR KNOWING IT?
201
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:49,045
BUT THAT'S DISHONEST!
WHY, THAT'S SPYING, CHIEF.
202
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:52,415
THE FILM HAS JUST COME OVER FROM THE
LAB. I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO SEE IT YET.
203
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:56,385
THEREFORE, I THINK THAT MR. SMART
WOULD BE MUCH THE BETTER NARRATOR.
204
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,987
SHALL WE BEGIN?
205
00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:01,424
DOES THIS MOVIE HAVE
A HAPPY ENDING, MAX?
206
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:05,428
DON'T WORRY, CHIEF. I DID
EVERYTHING YOU'D EXPECT ME TO DO.
207
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,430
I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
208
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,421
RUN THE FILM, PLEASE.
209
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,836
Max: THAT'S MIMSI...
UH, MISS SAGE.
210
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:50,172
OUR FIRST PROBLEM WAS GLASSES.
211
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,441
MIMSI WEARS THEM;
AMANDA DOESN'T.
212
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,843
CONTACT LENSES WERE A
POSSIBILITY, BUT THERE WAS ALWAYS
213
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,179
THE DANGER THAT KRISPIN
WOULD DETECT THEM.
214
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,782
WE DECIDED TO SEE IF
MIMSI, WITHOUT GLASSES,
215
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,784
COULD NAVIGATE ACROSS THE ROOM.
216
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,541
WE PUT SOME
OBSTACLES IN HER PATH.
217
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,812
SHE PASSES THE LAMP.
218
00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:15,486
SHE SEES THE ASHTRAY ON
THE STAND. SHE SEES THE CHAIR.
219
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,124
GOOD.
220
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,730
WE'RE USING CONTACT LENSES.
221
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:36,252
AS FAR AS AMANDA WAS CONCERNED,
DOORS WERE AN ACCESSORY.
222
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,010
SHE PREFERRED
TO LEAP INTO A CAR.
223
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:53,290
- AFTER WE GOT OUT
OF THE HOSPITAL...
- Wheelwright: STOP THE FILM!
224
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,773
I THINK IT IS HOPELESS
TO HAVE ANYONE TRY TO...
225
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,809
BECOME HER.
226
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,811
SENATOR, I THINK YOU'RE
MAKING A BIG MISTAKE.
227
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,979
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD
JUDGE BY A TRAINING FILM.
228
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,604
I THINK YOU SHOULD
JUDGE BY RESULTS.
229
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,810
GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT...
230
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:18,482
MISS AMANDA KRISPIN.
231
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,332
HOW DO YOU DO, SENATOR?
232
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,669
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
233
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,373
Wheelwright: AMAZING!
234
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,775
IT'S A REMARKABLE
PIECE OF WORK, MAX.
235
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,910
SHE CERTAINLY IS.
236
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,945
NOW WE CAN GO AHEAD
AND CONTACT KRISPIN,
237
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,403
EXCHANGE YOUR STUDENT
FOR THE KRISPIN PAPERS.
238
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:44,219
CHIEF, KRISPIN'S BOUND TO LEARN
239
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:47,089
THAT MIMSI ISN'T
AMANDA, ISN'T HE?
240
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,759
- I IMAGINE SO, MAX.
- WELL, WHAT'LL HAPPEN TO HER?
241
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,783
HE'LL KILL HER, MAX.
242
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:03,205
SO YOU ARE THE MAXWELL SMART.
243
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,207
YES.
244
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:07,609
I AM THE MAXWELL SMART.
245
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,145
SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
246
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,369
THANK YOU.
247
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:17,152
YOU'RE A SURPRISE
TO ME, MR. SMART.
248
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:20,990
FOR A MAN TO HAVE EARNED YOUR
REPUTATION, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU OLDER.
249
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,025
I WASN'T PREPARED
FOR YOU TO BE AS
250
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:26,628
DISTINGUISHED AS
YOU ARE, AS HANDSOME.
251
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,964
BUT PERHAPS I'M
EMBARRASSING YOU.
252
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,966
OH, NO. NO NO NO NO.
253
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,910
NO, NOT AT ALL. WE'RE TRAINED
TO DEAL WITH THE TRUTH.
254
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:38,541
WELL, VERY GOOD. MAY I
OFFER YOU SOMETHING?
255
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,576
A CIGARETTE?
256
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,666
OH, THANK YOU.
257
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,671
A LIGHT, MR. SMART?
258
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,819
- THANK YOU.
- AND NOW PERHAPS
259
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,322
WE SHOULD GET DOWN TO
THE PURPOSE OF YOUR VISIT.
260
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:56,024
YES, I THINK THAT
WOULD BE ADVISABLE.
261
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,494
AS YOU KNOW,
MR. KRISPIN, I CAME HERE
262
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,851
TO TALK ABOUT AMANDA.
263
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,255
DO YOU HAVE AMANDA?
264
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,871
YES. BUT HOW DO I KNOW
265
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:13,142
THAT AFTER I TURN AMANDA
OVER TO YOU, YOU WON'T KILL ME?
266
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,777
YOU DON'T. BUT HOW DO I KNOW
267
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,214
THAT AFTER I GIVE YOU THE
KRISPIN PAPERS, YOU WON'T KILL ME?
268
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:21,817
YOU DON'T.
269
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:25,621
OUR SAFETY, IT SEEMS,
MR. SMART, IS IN THOSE "DON'TS."
270
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:29,558
YES. WELL, AMANDA IS IN THE
GARDEN. I'LL GO AND GET HER.
271
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:32,361
THIS WAY IS SHORTER.
272
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,930
- YES, I KNOW.
- YOU KNOW?
273
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,866
UH, YES, WELL, WHAT
I MEAN IS THAT, UH,
274
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,603
YOU CAN SEE THE GARDEN
THROUGH THE GLASS IN THE WINDOW.
275
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:43,005
UH, THAT IS, WHEN THE MOONLIGHT
276
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,274
COMES STREAMING THROUGH
THE CURTAINS, YOU CAN SEE THE...
277
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,144
UH, YOU COULD SEE THE...
278
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,635
I'LL GO GET HER.
279
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,293
WELL, MIMSI, THIS IS IT.
280
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:06,295
BIG MOMENT.
281
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:09,764
OH, MAX, I'M SO NERVOUS. MY
STOMACH FEELS ALL FUNNY INSIDE.
282
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:13,868
TH-THEY SAY IN THE THEATER IT'S
GOOD TO BE NERVOUS BEFORE YOU GO ON.
283
00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:17,606
IS THAT ALL RIGHT
IN THE SPY BUSINESS?
284
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,641
MAX, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU.
285
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,611
I MEAN, NOW THAT
THE TRAINING IS OVER,
286
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,214
I'M GOING TO MISS YOU... I'M
GOING TO MISS WORKING WITH YOU.
287
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,882
OH, LISTEN TO ME. I SOUND
LIKE I'VE HAD A DRINK.
288
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:31,220
WHENEVER I HAVE EVEN
A LITTLE SIP, I JUST...
289
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,755
SAY WHATEVER I'M THINKING,
WHATEVER'S ON MY MIND.
290
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,757
OH, MAX, I'M SO NERVOUS!
291
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:39,027
NOW, JUST TAKE IT EASY, MIMSI.
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE.
292
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,564
- I KNOW YOU'RE
GONNA BE GREAT.
- HONEST?
293
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:45,467
- HONEST.
- I SOUND LIKE A CHARACTER
IN ONE OF MY BOOKS.
294
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:49,160
- SHALL WE GO?
- I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.
295
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:54,576
Max's voice: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
HE FINDS OUT MIMSI ISN'T AMANDA?
296
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,566
Chief's voice: HE'LL
KILL HER, MAX.
297
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,509
Max: WELL, KRISPIN,
HERE'S YOUR WIFE.
298
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:18,267
- HELLO, KINSEY.
- AMANDA, DARLING.
299
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,802
AND NOW, KRISPIN,
IF YOU DON'T MIND,
300
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,938
I'LL TAKE YOUR PAPERS.
301
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,006
IN A MOMENT.
302
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:27,509
CERTAINLY AN OCCASION
SUCH AS THIS DESERVES...
303
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,678
NO, DEMANDS... COMMEMORATION.
304
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:33,014
YOUR FAVORITE, MY DEAR.
305
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,417
HOLD IT! NO DRINKING!
306
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,019
UH, WHAT I MEAN IS THAT, UH,
307
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,088
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO
DRINK... I'M ON DUTY.
308
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:43,592
GOOD. THERE'LL BE THAT MUCH
MORE LEFT FOR US, RIGHT, AMANDA?
309
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,027
- NO... YES.
- THE ONLY WOMAN
I'VE EVER KNOWN
310
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:49,653
WHO CAN CONSUME CHAMPAGNE
AS THOUGH IT WERE BOTTLED WATER.
311
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,938
TO US.
312
00:19:55,962 --> 00:20:00,297
I DON'T NEED IT, KINSEY. I'M DRUNK
WITH THE PLEASURE OF SEEING YOU.
313
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:04,279
AH, THAT'S NOT A
BIT LIKE YOU, AMANDA.
314
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:07,349
YOU'RE NOT ONE TO
PASS UP DOM PERIGNON '59.
315
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,773
TO THE SUMMERS OF OUR LIFE.
316
00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:15,230
Mimsi's voice: JUST ONE LITTLE
SIP, AND I CAN'T STOP DRINKING.
317
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,407
KRISPIN, THE PAPERS.
318
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,798
AH, YES. THE PAPERS.
319
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,809
Max: VERY INGENIOUS.
320
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,269
MIMSI, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
321
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:04,105
YOU'RE CUTE, YOU KNOW
THAT? YOU'RE VERY CUTE.
322
00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:06,575
- STOP THAT, MIMSI!
- IT'S YOUR EYES.
323
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,467
THEY'RE VERY SEXY
WHEN YOU CAN FIND THEM.
324
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,783
MIMSI, WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?
325
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:18,787
IT'S IRONIC, MY DEAR, THAT
THESE VERY PAPERS YOU COVET
326
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:22,257
WILL BE THE INSTRUMENT WITH
WHICH I SHALL ONCE AGAIN HAVE...
327
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,215
KRISPIN, I'M RUNNING
OUT OF TIME AND PATIENCE.
328
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:32,567
MIMSI, WILL YOU STOP
IT? LEAVE ME ALONE!
329
00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:35,025
NOW, JUST LET'S SIT DOWN.
330
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:40,609
IT MAY BE HARD FOR YOU
TO BELIEVE, MR. SMART,
331
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,578
BUT THE DELICATE CREATURE
BEFORE YOU IS ACTUALLY A WOMAN
332
00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:46,382
OBSESSED WITH A
DESIRE FOR POWER.
333
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:50,608
SHE WANTED THESE PAPERS SO
THAT SHE COULD CONTROL KAOS.
334
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:06,401
WELL, HERE'S THE KEY.
335
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:08,537
AH, THE KEY. WHAT KEY?
336
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,773
- THE KEY TO
THE STATUE ZEUS.
- OH, THAT KEY.
337
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,042
YES, THAT'S WHERE
I KEEP THE PAPERS.
338
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:31,626
ISN'T IT APPROPRIATE THAT ZEUS
339
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:34,262
SHOULD DELIVER YOU
YOUR PRECIOUS PAPERS?
340
00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:36,531
- I'LL HAVE THOSE
PAPERS, KINSEY.
- MIMSI!
341
00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:38,656
DON'T MOVE, SMART.
342
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:49,711
- MIMSI!
- NO, MR. SMART,
NOT MIMSI.
343
00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:53,248
NOT NOW OR EVER MIMSI.
344
00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:55,784
- "MIMSI"?
- YES, MIMSI.
345
00:22:55,808 --> 00:23:00,055
STAY WHERE YOU
ARE... OR I'LL KILL YOU.
346
00:23:00,079 --> 00:23:02,958
YOU SEE, YOU WERE THE ONLY WAY
347
00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:05,327
I COULD GET THOSE
PAPERS FROM MY HUSBAND.
348
00:23:05,351 --> 00:23:07,362
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
SO MUCH SIMPLER
349
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,898
IF YOU'D JUST GIVEN THEM
TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE.
350
00:23:09,922 --> 00:23:12,234
VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT, AMANDA,
351
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:16,305
BUT ONE SLIGHT MISCALCULATION,
AS THERE ALWAYS IS.
352
00:23:16,329 --> 00:23:18,995
BEHIND YOU IS MY MAN, GELSON.
353
00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:22,611
I SEE NO PURPOSE
IN KEEPING YOU ALIVE
354
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:25,246
ANY LONGER, MR. SMART.
355
00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:29,250
JUST A MOMENT. YOU'VE MADE ONE
SLIGHT MISCALCULATION YOURSELF.
356
00:23:29,274 --> 00:23:32,854
IF YOU'LL GLANCE OVER MY SHOULDER,
YOU'LL SEE A STATUE OF APHRODITE,
357
00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:35,190
WHICH IS NOT REALLY
A STATUE OF APHRODITE
358
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:37,860
BUT OUR OWN CONTROL AGENT 99.
359
00:23:37,884 --> 00:23:40,996
WELL, VERY GOOD, BUT PLUTO
360
00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:44,432
BEHIND YOUR APHRODITE
IS MY MAN, BAGEL.
361
00:23:44,456 --> 00:23:48,504
SO YOU SEE, MR. SMART, YOU
ARE IN THE HANDS OF OUR GUARDS.
362
00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:52,374
BUT ONLY TEMPORARILY.
BECAUSE BEHIND YOUR PLUTO
363
00:23:52,398 --> 00:23:55,900
ARE CARVELAS AND SZATHMARY,
TWO OF OUR BEST CONTROL AGENTS.
364
00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:59,648
I'VE RUN OUT OF STATUES.
365
00:23:59,672 --> 00:24:03,385
YES, WELL, I HAVEN'T,
AND I STILL HAVE BACCHUS,
366
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:05,487
WHO HAPPENS TO BE
THE CHIEF OF CONTROL.
367
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:07,489
CARVELAS, SZATHMARY,
TAKE THEM DOWNTOWN.
368
00:24:07,513 --> 00:24:10,313
AND TURN IN THOSE COSTUMES BEFORE
MIDNIGHT, OR WE'LL BE CHARGED DOUBLE.
369
00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:18,100
ALL RIGHT, MAX, NOW, CAN
WE GET INSIDE? I'M COLD!
370
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,602
SAY, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE
GOT NICE LEGS, CHIEF.
371
00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:23,294
- MAX!
- ESPECIALLY
THE RIGHT ONE.
29405
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