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1
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COME ON! COME ON!
2
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,805
Man on radio: Simpson of the United
States puts the team representing
3
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,508
the free world four points
ahead of the Iron Curtain team.
4
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,444
On this, the second day of the
all-important three-day track meet,
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00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,480
the West is making
a strong comeback
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00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,048
after a series of
incredible accidents.
7
00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:41,184
ACCIDENTS, MY FOOT.
8
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,622
I'M SORRY. DID I HURT YOU?
9
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,257
I THINK YOU BROKE MY TELEPHONE.
10
00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:51,061
MAX, ISN'T THERE SOME CHANCE
THEY COULD HAVE BEEN ACCIDENTS?
11
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:54,497
IMPOSSIBLE, 99. KAOS KNOWS
THAT WINNING A TRACK MEET
12
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:57,400
IS MORE IMPORTANT TO THE
UNITED STATES THAN WINNING A WAR.
13
00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:00,369
BESIDES, IT'S A LOT CHEAPER. WE
DON'T HAVE TO FINANCE THE LOSERS.
14
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,205
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
THE CHIEF CERTAINLY
15
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,873
DOESN'T SEEM TO THINK
THEY WERE ACCIDENTS.
16
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,409
HE HAS ENOUGH CONTROL AGENTS
STATIONED THROUGH THE STANDS.
17
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:09,412
YES, AND THERE ARE A LOT
OF CIA AGENTS AROUND TOO.
18
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,414
CIA? WHAT DO THEY
HAVE TO DO WITH IT?
19
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:14,818
WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO DO WITH IT? THEY
PUT HALF THESE ATHLETES THROUGH COLLEGE.
20
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,087
- ON BOTH TEAMS.
- HMM.
21
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,089
Williams is ready
for his third try.
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00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,591
The bar is set at
16 feet, 11 inches.
23
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,027
HOT DOGS HERE.
24
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,196
- HOT DOG!
- HOW MANY?
25
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ONE WITHOUT MUSTARD.
26
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HERE, BUD.
27
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,303
OH, THANK YOU.
28
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- PASS IT.
- HMM?
29
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,840
OH.
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00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:41,199
A hush falls over the stadium
as Williams starts his approach.
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00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:46,216
Here he goes. Too bad.
32
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,218
OHH!
33
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:51,287
Well, that leaves only two
contestants in the pole vault...
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00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,489
Smith and Kazcachekowitz.
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00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:55,491
OH, I HOPE SMITH MAKES IT.
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00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,393
YOU'D BETTER HOPE
KAZCACHEKOWITZ MAKES IT.
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00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:59,328
HE'S ON OUR TEAM.
SMITH IS THE RUSSIAN.
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00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,965
The bar will now
be raised to 17 feet.
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00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:05,456
Smith is up first. He's
warming up now for his jump.
40
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,194
There goes Smith.
41
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Smith missed.
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SAY, YOU OUGHT TO TRY ONE OF
THESE HOT DOGS. THEY'RE DELICIOUS.
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MAX, LOOK. KAZCACHEKOWITZ IS
GETTING READY TO MAKE HIS TRY.
44
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,656
YES. IF KAZCACHEKOWITZ
MAKES IT, WE'LL BE AHEAD.
45
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,725
- DO YOU THINK HE CAN?
- WELL, I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.
46
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:31,527
HE'S ALWAYS CLEARED
17 FEET BEFORE.
47
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,663
THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.
48
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,865
HOT DOGS, PENNANTS.
49
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:39,402
HOT DOGS. MADAM, MAY I
INTEREST YOU IN A PENNANT?
50
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,404
DO YOU HAVE ONE I MIGHT LIKE?
51
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:44,608
I THINK I HAVE ONE HERE
THAT'LL BE A VERY GOOD CHOICE.
52
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:47,210
BE CAREFUL. THE WHOLE STADIUM
53
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:50,313
IS SIMPLY CRAWLING
WITH CONTROL AGENTS.
54
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,337
There goes Kazcachekowitz now.
55
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:04,927
Incredible. Kazcachekowitz
seemed to clear the bar, but he didn't.
56
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,764
MAX, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG!
57
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,768
THANK YOU, BUT I
DON'T THINK I'LL BUY ONE.
58
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,903
HOT DOGS, PENNANTS.
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00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,495
WAIT A MINUTE, 99. STAY
HERE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
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00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,233
HEY, YOU!
61
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,758
NO, I DON'T WANT A
PENNANT. I WANT A HOT DOG.
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00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:38,494
- I BET IT'LL EVEN TASTE
BETTER WITH THE ROLL.
- HOT DOGS, YES.
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00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,897
OH, GIVE ME A LOT OF
RELISH AND MUSTARD.
64
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:44,034
- PUT EVERYTHING ON IT. THE WORKS.
- THE WORKS, SIR.
65
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:54,544
HURRY UP. I'M MISSING
THE HOP, SKIP AND JUMP.
66
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,368
HERE YOU ARE, SIR... THE WORKS.
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00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,450
- MAX.
- HYMIE, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
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00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,086
THE CHIEF IS LOOKING FOR YOU.
HE'S WAITING IN THE LOCKER ROOM.
69
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,555
- OKAY, LET'S GO.
- THAT SURE LOOKS GOOD.
70
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,824
- OH, YOU LIKE
HOT DOGS, HYMIE?
- OF COURSE.
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00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,282
I MAY BE A ROBOT, BUT
I'M AN AMERICAN ROBOT.
72
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,263
OH, WELL, THAT SURPRISES ME.
73
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:24,266
I MEAN, NOT THAT YOU'RE AN AMERICAN
ROBOT BUT THAT YOU LIKE HOT DOGS.
74
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,901
I THOUGHT THE ONLY
THING YOU EVER TOOK
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WAS KEROSENE OIL AND AN
OCCASIONAL QUICK CHARGE.
76
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:31,107
IT'S THE SAME OLD STORY...
NOBODY CARES ABOUT A ROBOT.
77
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:35,244
JUST WIND HIM UP, TURN HIM LOOSE
AND GREASE HIM EVERY 1000 MILES.
78
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,814
OKAY, HYMIE, HERE.
TAKE THE HOT DOG.
79
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,850
- NO, THANK YOU. I DON'T WANT IT NOW.
- GO AHEAD, TAKE IT.
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00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,054
I WOULDN'T TAKE IT IF IT WAS THE LAST
HOT DOG IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
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00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,155
- OKAY.
- IS IT?
82
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,446
- NO!
- THEN I'LL TAKE IT.
83
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,687
HERE, HYMIE. YOU FORGOT THIS.
84
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:04,140
- HOW DID IT TASTE?
- DELICIOUS. EVEN THE POISON WAS GOOD.
85
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:07,443
- POISON?
- I AM PROGRAMMED
TO DETECT POISON.
86
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,946
THAT WAS ARSENIC...
EIGHT GRAMS, TWO CCs.
87
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,448
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, HYMIE?
- OF COURSE.
88
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:14,617
ARSENIC IS GOOD FOR
CLEANING OUT MY TUBES.
89
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,387
I HEARD THAT. WAIT A MINUTE.
90
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,789
THAT VENDER MUST'VE
BEEN A KAOS AGENT.
91
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,391
- WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?
- WELL, UH,
92
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:25,060
HE WAS, UH UH...
93
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,630
HE WAS, UH... HE WAS, UH...
94
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:30,299
WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE,
MAX? CAN YOU DESCRIBE HIM?
95
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,334
WELL, HE HAD A KIND OF A
FACE LIKE YOURS, CHIEF...
96
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:35,738
YOU KNOW, NONDESCRIPT. THE
KIND YOU'D FORGET IN A CROWD.
97
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,840
MAX, THIS IS IMPORTANT. THINK.
98
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:41,177
ALL THOSE ACCIDENTS CAN HAVE
ONLY ONE EXPLANATION... CAD.
99
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,545
OF COURSE! CAD! WHAT'S CAD?
100
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,448
Hymie: CAD IS A
DIVISION OF KAOS.
101
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,683
IT STANDS FOR "CONTRIVED
ACCIDENT DIVISION."
102
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:50,320
THEIR TWO EXPERTS ARE DONALD
SNEAD AND MRS. EMILY NEAL.
103
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:52,555
AND THE ONE WHO
SOLD YOU THE HOT DOG
104
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,191
MUST'VE BEEN SNEAD, AND
YOU CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE HIM!
105
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,227
WELL, I MAY NOT BE
ABLE TO DESCRIBE HIM,
106
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,762
BUT I'LL KNOW HIM
THE MINUTE I SEE HIM.
107
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,920
- I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
- SOMEBODY HELP!
108
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,736
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- I DON'T KNOW.
109
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,038
O'LEARY WAS TAKING A SHOWER
AND HE MUST'VE COLLAPSED.
110
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,931
WELL, I'VE HEARD OF HARD
WATER, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
111
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:20,249
- HYMIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- IT'S NOT THE WATER,
IT'S THE SOAP.
112
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,018
THE SOAP WAS POISONED.
IT CONTAINS ATROPINE.
113
00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:26,122
O'LEARY ABSORBED IT THROUGH HIS
PORES WHILE HE WAS TAKING A SHOWER.
114
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:29,258
HE'LL BE ALL RIGHT AS SOON AS I
GIVE HIM AN INJECTION OF MORPHINE.
115
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,494
CHIEF, WE'VE GOT TO STOP KAOS.
116
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:35,031
WHAT WE NEED ARE MORE
STRINGENT PROTECTIVE MEASURES
117
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,899
AND BETTER ORGANIZATION.
118
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,126
YOU'RE RIGHT, MAX. I'M
TAKING YOU OFF THE CASE.
119
00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:39,468
GOOD.
120
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,133
TAKING ME OFF THE CASE?
WHY? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
121
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:43,306
WHAT'D YOU DO RIGHT?
122
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:46,409
- I ASKED YOU FIRST.
- I'M PUTTING HYMIE IN CHARGE.
123
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,779
OH. HYMIE? YOU CAN'T
PUT HYMIE IN CHARGE.
124
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,848
HYMIE IS A ROBOT. HE'S
NOTHING BUT A MACHINE,
125
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,517
A BUNCH OF BOLTS AND WIRES
STRUNG TOGETHER IN A METAL BODY.
126
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:56,380
NO ONE'S PERFECT.
127
00:07:56,404 --> 00:07:58,721
HYMIE, YOU'RE THE BOSS
NOW. YOU CALL THE SIGNALS.
128
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:02,091
93, 42, 61, 84...
129
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,160
HYMIE, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
TAKE ME SO LITERALLY?
130
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,029
WHAT I MEAN IS THAT
YOU'RE IN CHARGE.
131
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,064
NOW WAIT A MINUTE,
CHIEF. I HAVE MY PRIDE,
132
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,466
AND I'M NOT TAKING
ORDERS FROM A ROBOT.
133
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:14,503
MAX, REMEMBER, CONTROL IS AN
EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER.
134
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,705
I DON'T FEEL THAT
WAY ABOUT YOU, MAX.
135
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:19,375
SOME OF MY BEST
FRIENDS ARE PEOPLE.
136
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,878
I'M SORRY, HYMIE. I KEEP
FORGETTING YOU HAVE A HEART,
137
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,913
EVEN IF IT IS A $10 GEARBOX.
138
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:27,082
THAT'S ENOUGH, MAX. NOW
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS, HYMIE?
139
00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:29,418
ACCORDING TO MY COMPUTER,
WE CAN WIN THE MEET
140
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,154
IF WE PROTECT
PURVIS IN THE MILE RUN,
141
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,222
SCHMIDT IN THE DISCUS THROW
AND MOODY IN THE HIGH JUMP.
142
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:36,192
WE MUST FIND SOMEPLACE TO
KEEP THEM SAFE UNTIL TOMORROW.
143
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,694
- WHERE?
- I'LL CHECK WITH
MY COMPUTER AGAIN.
144
00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:46,957
MAX'S APARTMENT.
145
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,006
MY APARTMENT? FORGET IT!
146
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:54,143
I'VE GOT A DATE TONIGHT, AND
I PLAN TO USE MY APARTMENT.
147
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,145
MAX, WHAT'S MORE
IMPORTANT TO YOU,
148
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,209
THE HONOR OF YOUR
COUNTRY OR A DATE?
149
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,784
- MAX!
- DON'T RUSH ME, CHIEF.
150
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:04,041
I'M TRYING TO THINK OF A GOOD
ARGUMENT FOR MY COUNTRY.
151
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,590
ALL RIGHT. MY APARTMENT.
152
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:10,093
THE MAIN THING IS SECRECY.
WE'LL MOVE THEM IN TONIGHT
153
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,150
UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS.
154
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,258
EVERYTHING'S SET?
155
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,394
MRS. NEAL, I WAS MAGNIFICENT,
156
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:49,331
AND I'VE ARRANGED FOR SOME SIMPLY
MARVELOUS ACCIDENTS TO OCCUR.
157
00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,467
GOOD. ANY POSSIBILITY
OF A FAILURE?
158
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:55,504
NONE WHATSOEVER. AND
FOR THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE,
159
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:58,140
I'VE ADDED SOMETHING
RATHER SPECIAL OF MY OWN.
160
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,142
I KNEW YOU WOULD.
161
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,679
MR. SMART ALWAYS HAS
ONE GIBSON BEFORE DINNER...
162
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:06,783
FOUR PARTS GIN, A TOUCH OF
VERMOUTH, AND A PEARL ONION.
163
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:10,620
WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT HE'S
USING THE FAMOUS SNEAD SYNTHETIC ONION.
164
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:13,489
YES, WHICH COMBINED
WITH GIN AND VERMOUTH
165
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,524
WILL CREATE A CHEMICAL REACTION
166
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,728
THAT WILL BLOW MR. SMART AND ALL
THE OTHER OCCUPANTS OF THE ROOM
167
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,163
INTO... WELL,
168
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,500
SHALL WE JUST SAY IT WILL
BE A BIT MESSY IN THERE.
169
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,803
YOU ARE INDEED A GENIUS, SNEAD.
170
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,805
Max: COME ON, FELLAS, THIS WAY.
171
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:32,208
I DO BEG YOUR PARDON, MRS.
NEAL, BUT IT IS IN THE LINE OF DUTY.
172
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,513
OF COURSE. I UNDERSTAND.
173
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:44,987
WHY ARE YOU KNOCKING ON THE
DOOR, MAX? DON'T YOU LIVE ALONE?
174
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:48,057
UH, YES, BUT I SEEM TO
HAVE MISPLACED MY KEY.
175
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:51,661
THE KEY IS IN YOUR HAND,
MAX. WHY ARE YOU STALLING?
176
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,663
FORGET IT, HYMIE.
177
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,620
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
178
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,517
MRS. NEAL, THAT WAS
VERY VERY PLEASANT.
179
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:17,219
- I AGREE, SNEAD.
- GOOD.
180
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:19,843
SHALL WE, UH, PUSH ON?
181
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,795
ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, JUST
MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.
182
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,931
YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU'LL BE
PERFECTLY SAFE IN THIS APARTMENT.
183
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,200
IT'S EQUIPPED WITH SOME
OF THE MOST FASCINATING
184
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,369
PROTECTIVE DEVICES IN THE WORLD.
185
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,971
FOR EXAMPLE, THIS BUTTON...
186
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:38,708
- HYMIE, WILL YOU ANSWER
THE DOOR, PLEASE?
- BUT, MAX...
187
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:42,600
HYMIE, ANSWER THE DOOR.
188
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,215
HELLO, DOOR. WHAT
WAS THE QUESTION AGAIN?
189
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,707
HYMIE, WILL YOU JUST SEE
WHO'S RINGING THE BELL, PLEASE?
190
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,026
IT'S 99 WHO'S RINGING
THE BELL, MAX.
191
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,119
- WELL, LET HER IN.
- OH.
192
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:04,967
HELLO, HYMIE. HOW ARE YOU?
193
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,736
I AM FINE, 99. HOW ARE YOU?
194
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,605
FINE. OH, MAX, I BROUGHT
SOME EXTRA GROCERIES.
195
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:12,108
I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE NICE TO
FIX YOU AND THE BOYS SOME DINNER.
196
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:15,144
OH, GOOD, 99. HYMIE, TAKE THE
GROCERIES INTO THE KITCHEN.
197
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,379
JUST A MINUTE,
MAX. I'M THE BOSS.
198
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,548
I GIVE THE ORDERS AROUND HERE.
199
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,772
HYMIE, TAKE THE
GROCERIES INTO THE KITCHEN.
200
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,427
HYMIE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
201
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,663
I AM FINE, 99. HOW ARE YOU?
202
00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:36,799
ALL RIGHT, DON'T ANYBODY
MOVE. STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
203
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:40,670
I HAVE A FEELING THIS APARTMENT
HAS BEEN TAMPERED WITH.
204
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:44,028
HYMIE, GET OVER BY THE
FIREPLACE. 99, GET ON THE COUCH.
205
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,145
NOW I KNOW THIS APARTMENT
LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND.
206
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,614
IF ANYTHING HAS BEEN
MOVED, I'LL KNOW IT.
207
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:54,584
IF ANYTHING HAS BEEN
TOUCHED, I'LL KNOW IT.
208
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:58,309
I HAVE A HUNCH THAT THIS
APARTMENT HAS BEEN BOOBY-TRAPPED.
209
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,929
NOW I'M ALMOST POSITIVE.
210
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,231
SNEAD AND MRS. NEAL
MUST'VE BEEN HERE, MAX.
211
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,467
YES. I'D BETTER
CALL THE CHIEF, 99.
212
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,558
I'M THE BOSS. I'LL
CALL THE CHIEF.
213
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,618
HYMIE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
214
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,255
- I DON'T KNOW.
- WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
215
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,312
I THINK I'M IN LOVE.
216
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,731
MAX, TELL THE BOYS
DINNER'S JUST ABOUT READY.
217
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:46,468
- BOYS, DINNER'S
JUST ABOUT READY.
- MAX...
218
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:50,639
- SORRY, HYMIE.
- BOYS, DINNER'S
JUST ABOUT READY.
219
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,976
LISTEN, HYMIE, YOU DON'T MIND IF I HAVE
A LITTLE DRINK BEFORE DINNER, DO YOU?
220
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,446
- OF COURSE NOT.
- THANKS.
221
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,515
WELL, LET'S SEE.
222
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,184
LITTLE TOUCH OF VERMOUTH,
223
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:05,288
FOUR PARTS GIN,
224
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,856
AND A PEARL ONION.
225
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,126
- HOW ARE THINGS
COMING, 99?
- ALL SET, MAX.
226
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,184
- WELL, HERE'S LUCK.
- MAX! YOUR DRINK!
227
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,392
MAX, DO SOMETHING!
228
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:35,105
MAX, YOU SURE DO
MIX A STRONG GIBSON.
229
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,922
YES, I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
230
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,924
I KNOW I FAILED.
231
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,159
WELL, YOU SEE, MRS. NEAL, WHAT
YOU GAIN ON THE ROUNDABOUT
232
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:46,362
YOU LOSE ON THE SWINGS.
233
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,397
EVERYTHING'S IN ORDER.
234
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,300
YES, SOMETHING WENT WRONG
IN MR. SMART'S APARTMENT.
235
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:54,002
YES, WELL, DON'T WORRY. YES.
236
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,004
YES, IN THEIR LOCKERS.
237
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,876
ALL RIGHT, MEN. RIGHT THIS WAY.
238
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,645
YOU'D BETTER SUIT UP. WE
DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH TIME.
239
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:07,138
YOU, GO OUTSIDE AND GUARD THE
DOOR. SEE THAT NOBODY COMES IN.
240
00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,953
WELL, HYMIE, THE CHIEF
IS OUT ON THE FIELD.
241
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:13,344
- GO OUT AND TELL HIM
WE'RE HERE.
- RIGHT.
242
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,959
I'M THE BOSS.
243
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:19,294
OH, I'M SORRY. I FORGOT, HYMIE.
244
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,863
UH, LISTEN, HOW ABOUT THIS?
245
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,698
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO
STAY HERE AND GUARD THE MEN
246
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,633
WHILE YOU GO OUT AND
TELL THE CHIEF WE'RE HERE?
247
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:27,402
YES.
248
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,437
ALL RIGHT, MEN,
249
00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:32,107
THE EYES OF THE FREE
WORLD ARE ON YOU TODAY.
250
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:35,110
SO I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER
TO KEEP YOUR HEADS
251
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:37,280
AND YOUR SHORTS UP.
252
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,615
WE HAVE A TRADITION TO UPHOLD,
253
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,883
SO I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER
254
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,419
THAT IT'S NOT HOW
YOU PLAY THE GAME
255
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,544
BUT WHETHER YOU WIN THAT COUNTS.
256
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:51,460
YES, WELL, MAYBE THAT'S
NOT QUITE HOW IT GOES.
257
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,562
WHAT'S THE
DIFFERENCE? THE IMPORT...
258
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:57,187
OH, COME ON NOW, FELLAS.
IT'S NOT THAT HOPELESS.
259
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,960
OR IS IT? YOU, GET
AWAY FROM THAT LOCKER.
260
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,617
Chief: MAX, WHAT HAPPENED?
261
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,154
WELL, CHIEF, SNEAD AND MRS. NEAL
262
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:21,424
MUST'VE RIGGED THESE
LOCKERS WITH PARALYZING GAS.
263
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:25,328
Man over P.A.: Athletes on the field
for the high jump and the discus throw.
264
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,496
HYMIE, IS THERE ANY
CHANCE OF REVIVING THEM?
265
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,132
NOT FOR AT LEAST TWO HOURS.
266
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,768
LOOKS LIKE WE'VE LOST THOSE
TWO EVENTS. WE'RE BEATEN.
267
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,770
CHIEF,
268
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,727
NO, WE'RE NOT.
269
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,510
Man over P.A.: The next
event is the high jump.
270
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,513
Competing for the East today
are Pavlovic and Mihailovich.
271
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,715
Competing for the West...
272
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,906
Hymie?
273
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:56,491
Pavlovic has cleared the
bar at seven feet, one inch,
274
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,894
for a new track record.
275
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:01,930
Now trying to break that
record is Hymie of the West.
276
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,154
This is his first
appearance at this meet.
277
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,672
WOULD YOU RAISE THE
BAR TO NINE FEET, PLEASE?
278
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,042
Hold it. This is amazing!
279
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,033
Hymie has asked to have
the bar raised to nine feet!
280
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:46,608
Bronski of the East has broken his
old world record of 220 feet, 5 inches
281
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:50,368
for the discus throw with
an amazing toss of 231 feet.
282
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:56,640
Now for the West, holder of
the high-jump record, Hymie.
283
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:10,855
Hymie has just thrown it
right out of the stadium!
284
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,693
IT'S INCREDIBLE. HE'S THROWN
IT RIGHT OUT OF THE STANDS.
285
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,953
I'M BEGINNING TO
UNDERSTAND OUR FAILURES.
286
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,555
THAT MAN IS NOT A MAN.
287
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:37,927
- I BEG YOUR PARDON, SNEAD?
- HE'S A CONTROL ROBOT.
288
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:42,264
MRS. NEAL, DO YOU STILL HAVE
YOUR LIPSTICK BATTERY DEACTIVATOR?
289
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,533
I'M ALWAYS PREPARED, SNEAD.
290
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,603
GOOD. BEFORE THE NEXT EVENT,
291
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,205
I THINK YOU SHOULD
GIVE HYMIE A VICTORY KISS.
292
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:53,342
YES, MRS. NEAL,
DISCHARGE YOUR DUTIES
293
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,278
AND HIS BATTERY AT
ONE AND THE SAME TIME.
294
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,347
HOT DOGS, PENNANTS.
295
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,817
HOT DOGS, PENNANTS.
296
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,841
HOT DOGS, PENNANTS.
297
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:09,091
MR. HYMIE, MAY I
CONGRATULATE YOU?
298
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,115
OF COURSE, MADAM.
299
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,674
CONGRATULATIONS, HYMIE.
300
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,544
- NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS TO WIN THE MILE RUN.
- HOW DO YOU FEEL, HYMIE?
301
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:31,347
I FEEL WEAK. SOMETHING
RAN MY BATTERY DOWN.
302
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:34,483
WELL, DON'T WORRY, HYMIE. AS SOON AS WE
GET YOU BACK TO CONTROL HEADQUARTERS,
303
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,485
WE'LL GIVE YOU A RECHARGE.
304
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,687
With the Western team
winning the discus throw,
305
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,689
this makes them
tied with the East.
306
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:44,626
The last event, the mile run, will
decide the outcome of this entire meet.
307
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,696
Will the athletes
please take their places?
308
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,732
ALL RIGHT, PURVIS, I WANT
YOU TO GET OUT THERE
309
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:55,159
AND RUN LIKE YOU'VE
NEVER RUN BEFORE... FAST.
310
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,446
PURVIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
311
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,815
THIS IS NO TIME FOR DANCING.
312
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:10,553
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT. MY
FEET FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ASLEEP.
313
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:14,423
- WELL, WAKE THEM UP.
- I CAN'T SEEM TO MOVE.
314
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,514
HAND ME YOUR SHOE.
315
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:22,338
SOMEONE HAS PUT
SLEEPING-FOOT POWDER IN HIS SHOE.
316
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:27,535
THE OLD "SLEEPING-FOOT-
POWDER-IN-THE-SHOE" TRICK.
317
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,105
- WHAT CAN WE DO NOW, MAX?
- THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.
318
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,874
- HYMIE, YOU'LL HAVE
TO RUN THE MILE.
- I DON'T KNOW, CHIEF.
319
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,144
WITHOUT A RECHARGE, I
DON'T HAVE MUCH ENERGY LEFT.
320
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:38,013
MY PORTABLE RADIO!
MAYBE THAT'LL HELP!
321
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:40,003
THAT'S IT, 99!
322
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,145
I USE A LOT OF VOLTAGE.
I HOPE IT'S ENOUGH.
323
00:20:57,323 --> 00:21:00,736
Running the mile for the East
are Pipovich and Sturnsky.
324
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,804
And for the West,
325
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:05,140
holder of two world
records here today,
326
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:07,443
Hymie.
327
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,318
COME ON, HYMIE! COME ON, HYMIE!
328
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:18,353
- GO, HYMIE!
- COME ON, HYMIE!
329
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:22,223
Hymie is half a lap ahead.
Three quarters of a lap.
330
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:25,816
He's really pulling
out front, folks.
331
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,431
- RUN, RUN!
- GO!
332
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,878
With still six laps to go,
333
00:21:43,902 --> 00:21:46,903
Hymie is more than a lap ahead.
334
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:53,022
Now with less than two laps to go,
Hymie has a lap-and-a-quarter lead.
335
00:21:53,046 --> 00:21:56,591
It looks like a cinch
win for the West.
336
00:21:56,615 --> 00:22:00,896
Just a moment. Hymie
seems to be slowing down.
337
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,953
I think he's in trouble.
338
00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:09,271
COME ON, HYMIE! COME ON!
339
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:11,006
HE'S RUNNING OUT
OF POWER, CHIEF.
340
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:14,810
Hymie is still three
quarters of a lap ahead.
341
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,012
Hymie is slowing down even more.
342
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,681
DO YOU THINK THERE'S ENOUGH
POWER LEFT IN MY RADIO BATTERY?
343
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:21,884
I TOLD YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO
HUNTLEY AND BRINKLEY TODAY.
344
00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:24,686
YOU SHOULD'VE JUST
LISTENED TO HUNTLEY.
345
00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:27,456
HYMIE, COME ON!
346
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,458
Hymie's had it.
347
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:33,195
I don't think he'll
make it to the finish line.
348
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:35,152
CHIEF, HE'S STOPPED!
349
00:22:36,754 --> 00:22:40,335
Ladies and gentlemen, with
just one yard to the finish line,
350
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,427
Hymie has come
to a complete stop.
351
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,609
- COME ON, HYMIE! RUN, HYMIE! COME ON!
- COME ON! COME ON!
352
00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:50,279
COME ON! YOU CAN MAKE IT, HYMIE!
353
00:22:50,303 --> 00:22:52,748
I'M OUT OF POWER.
354
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:06,161
ISN'T THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?
355
00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:08,163
WE NEED MAGNETIC POWER!
356
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,865
AND YOU NEED ELECTRICITY FOR THAT,
RIGHT, CHIEF? HAVE YOU GOT A KEY?
357
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:13,923
- A KEY? YES.
- GOOD. HAVE YOU
GOT A KITE?
358
00:23:15,093 --> 00:23:17,627
HAVE YOU GOT A
STORM, BEN FRANKLIN?
359
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:22,299
The gap is closing quickly.
360
00:23:23,970 --> 00:23:26,530
MAX, QUICK! GIVE ME
YOUR SHOE PHONE!
361
00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:32,220
THIS IS NO TIME TO
CALL FOR HELP, 99.
362
00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:41,329
MRS. NEAL,
363
00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:44,166
LOOKS TO ME AS
THOUGH WE BOTH FAILED.
364
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:46,701
THERE'S ALWAYS A
FIRST TIME, SNEAD.
365
00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:49,337
UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN
ONE WORKS FOR KAOS,
366
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:51,740
IT'S USUALLY THE LAST TIME.
367
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,742
I SUGGEST, MRS. NEAL,
368
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:57,545
THAT WE TAKE A PERMANENT
LEAVE OF ABSENCE.
369
00:23:57,569 --> 00:23:59,603
I AGREE, SNEAD.
370
00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:06,955
OH, THAT WAS BRILLIANT,
99! HOW'D YOU DO IT?
371
00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:09,291
- EVERY TELEPHONE
HAS A MAGNET, CHIEF.
- OF COURSE, CHIEF.
372
00:24:09,315 --> 00:24:11,893
- EVERY SCHOOLBOY KNOWS THAT.
- THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU
THINK OF IT?
373
00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:14,863
UH, BECAUSE YOU HAD ME
BUSY LOOKING FOR A STORM.
374
00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:17,399
BESIDES, I WANTED 99 TO
HAVE A CHANCE TO SHOW
375
00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:19,823
THAT SHE WENT TO SCHOOL.
30265
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