All language subtitles for Get Smart S03E15 The Groovy Guru.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.HBO

"THE GRATEFUL DEAD ARE ALIVE
AND LIVING IN BEVERLY HILLS."

"SIMON AND GARFUNKEL FELL
OFF THE TALLAHATCHIE BRIDGE."

- AGENT 86.
- I'M HIP. COURIER 12.

DID YOU GET THE INFORMATION
ABOUT THE GROOVY GURU?

ENOUGH HERE FOR THE
FUZZ TO PEEL AND FREEZE.

- HUH?
- SQUARE CITY.

YOU KNOW, ENOUGH TO
PUT HIM AWAY FOR LIFE.

YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK DOWN
THE STREET CARRYING THIS?

IN THAT OUTFIT, WHO'LL NOTICE?

UH, YES, WELL,

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT STANDARD
COURIER PROCEDURES ARE NECESSARY HERE?

WE'VE HEARD THERE ARE
PURSE-SNATCHERS IN THE AREA.

- OH.
- HERE'S THE KEY.

YES, WELL, I WOULDN'T
WANT TO LOSE THIS.

THE CHIEF SAYS THIS IS
A VERY IMPORTANT CASE.

SOMEONE'S COMING. QUICK,
EMERGENCY PARK PROCEDURE R-17.

- MUST'VE GONE THE OTHER WAY.
- UH, YES.

WHY DON'T WE WAIT FOR
HIM TO TURN AROUND?

BACK OFF, BABY. YOU'RE
STEAMING UP MY SHADES.

OH. YES. WELL, I'D BETTER
GET THIS BACK TO THE CHIEF.

- I'M GONNA SPLIT.
- CIAO, MAN.

UH, NO THANKS. I JUST ATE.

- Man: Oh, yes!
- GROOVY GURU?

WAILIN' WANDA.
EVERYTHING'S COOL.

PURSE WITH BOMB
HANDCUFFED TO SQUARE'S WRIST.

- Crazy!
- IN 30 MINUTES,
CONTROL HEADQUARTERS

IS GONNA TURN INTO A FREAK-OUT.

Cra-a-zy!

- MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, CHIEF.
- GOOD WORK, MAX. NO PROBLEMS?

NO PROBLEMS AT
ALL. SMOOTH AS GLASS.

EXCEPT FOR A FEW MASHERS.

SO I GUESS WE REALLY GOT THE
GOODS ON THE GROOVY GURU THIS TIME.

YOU BET YOUR SWEET LIFE WE DO.

I GOT ENOUGH IN HERE TO
BLOW THIS CASE WIDE OPEN.

SAY, LISTEN, CHIEF, AREN'T ALL
OUR NEW WATCHES ELECTRIC?

THAT'S RIGHT, MAX.
THEY'RE BATTERY OPERATED.

THAT'S STRANGE.

FOR THE LAST HALF HOUR, I'VE
BEEN HEARING THE FUNNIEST TICK.

MAX!

- DON'T TELL ME
THERE'S A BOMB IN MY PURSE.
- THERE'S A BOMB IN YOUR PURSE!

I ASKED YOU NOT TO TELL ME THAT.

- I'LL CALL THE BOMB SQUAD.
- YES, CHIEF, YOU DO THAT.

I'M DYING TO SEE THEM IN ACTION.

THE BOMB IS HANDCUFFED TO HIM.

OH, POOR MAX!

HE WAS ONE OF THE BEST, 99.

Max: CHIEF... 99.

MAX, HOW?

IT'S REALLY QUITE SIMPLE, CHIEF.

WHEN I FELL DOWN THE
CHUTE, THE PURSE RIPPED APART

AND THE BOMB FELL OUT.

OH, MAX! THANK HEAVENS
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!

YES, WELL, I'LL TELL
YOU ONE THING...

IF KAOS PAID MORE THAN $1.98
FOR THIS PURSE, THEY WERE ROBBED.

IT'S OBVIOUS THE GROOVY
GURU IS TRYING TO KILL US ALL.

- YES?
- Larrabee: Chief, they've just
picked up two more of them.

I WAS AFRAID OF THIS.

SEND THEM IN.

HERE THEY ARE, CHIEF.

THEY'RE GONE, MAX.

THEY CAN'T HAVE GONE TOO FAR,
CHIEF. THEY LEFT THEIR IGNITIONS ON.

THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE
IN SOME KIND OF TRANCE.

DOZENS OF KIDS ALL OVER TOWN
HAVE SUDDENLY GONE INTO A TRANCE.

- I KNOW IT'S THE GROOVY GURU.
- OH, COME ON, CHIEF.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
NOBODY TAKES THAT ACT SERIOUSLY.

OH NO?

You are movin' and groovin'
with the Groovy Guru.

That sound is outtasight! Right?

Okay, kids, stop
dancing for a minute.

After my next
Top-of-the-Pops selection,

I'm going to fill you in on my
nationwide TV special tonight,

when you're all going to
get the big big message.

Now, more groovy sounds.

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? THE KIDS
DO WHATEVER THE GURU TELLS THEM.

WHAT'S THAT ABOUT
A TV SPECIAL, CHIEF?

THAT'S WHAT SCARES ME, 99.

THE GROOVY GURU IS GOING
ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

NOW AT LEAST 10 MILLION
TEENAGERS WILL BE WATCHING HIM.

DO YOU HAVE ANY
IDEA HOW MUCH DAMAGE

10 MILLION TEENAGERS
CAN DO TO THIS COUNTRY?

I THOUGHT THEY'D
ALREADY DONE IT.

THEY'RE MILD AND PEACEFUL NOW,

BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHAT
THE BIG BIG MESSAGE IS.

MAX, THE GURU MUST BE STOPPED.

DON'T WORRY, CHIEF.
HAVE I EVER FAILED YOU?

HAVE I FAILED YOU RECENTLY?

- HOW ABOUT TODAY?
- MAX, I'VE GOT SOMETHING
FOR YOU AT DR. STEELE'S LAB,

BUT FIRST I WANT TO TELL 99
WHAT HER INSTRUCTIONS ARE.

KAOS WOULD NEVER GUESS
THAT CONTROL'S LAB IS HIDDEN

BACKSTAGE AT THE
FOLLIES, WOULD THEY, MAX?

YES, AND THAT ONE OF THEIR FEATURED
DANCERS IS OUR TOP CHEMIST DR. STEELE.

IT'S A PERFECT FRONT.

BACK'S NOT BAD EITHER, CHIEF.

CHIEF, 86, I'LL BE
WITH YOU IN A MINUTE.

JUST TAKE YOUR TIME, DR. STEELE.

UH, MAX, MAYBE WE'D
BETTER WAIT BACK AT THE LAB.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, CHIEF.

IT'S OUR DUTY TO STAY HERE AND SEE
THAT DR. STEELE DOESN'T LOSE HER COVER.

UH, FIGURATIVELY
SPEAKING, OF COURSE.

I'M ALMOST FINISHED.

D-DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, DEAR.

MAX, MAYBE WE'D
BETTER WAIT IN THE LAB.

THOSE ARE THE PILLS, AGENT 86.

I'LL JUST GO AHEAD AND
CHANGE FOR MY NEXT NUMBER.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I
HAVE TO TAKE A PILL TO TELL A LIE.

MAX, TWO OF OUR BEST
AGENTS WORKED ON THE

GROOVY GURU CASE, AND
BOTH HAVE DISAPPEARED.

WHAT HAPPENED TODAY
PROVES THEY'VE BEEN TALKING.

YES, WELL, YOU KNOW I
WOULDN'T TALK, CHIEF.

- WHAT IF THEY
TORTURE YOU?
- HMM?

- WHAT IF
THEY TORTURE YOU?
- OH, TORTURE. WELL,

I CAN STAND THE PAIN IF THEY
CAN STAND THE SCREAMING.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T BELIEVE
THE GURU USES TORTURE.

IT'S MY THEORY THAT
HE'S DEVELOPED A SUBTLE

BUT INCREDIBLY EFFECTIVE
METHOD OF EXTRACTING INFORMATION.

THAT'S WHY I INVENTED
THOSE PILLS TO MAKE YOU LIE.

I CALL THEM "GAY DECEIVERS."

YES, WELL, DR. STEELE, TELL ME, HOW
LONG DOES IT TAKE THESE PILLS TO WORK?

OH, INSTANTANEOUSLY. AND
MY TESTS IN MY LABORATORY

PROVE THAT THEY
LAST UP TO 15 MINUTES.

GESUNDHEIT.

- ARE YOU CATCHING COLD?
- YES.

DO YOU KNOW IT'S THE FIFTH
COLD I'VE HAD THIS YEAR?

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER.

UH, WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER
TO MY APARTMENT TONIGHT?

I'VE GOT SOME WONDERFUL,
UH, NOSE DROPS.

UH, HELLO?

YES YES, HE'S HERE.
CHIEF, IT'S FOR YOU.

OH, THANK YOU. HELLO,
THIS IS THE CHIEF SPEAKING.

OH, HELLO, 99.

GOOD. YES, MAX HAS
THE PILLS, THE LIE PILLS.

OH, FINE. HE'LL MEET
YOU RIGHT OUTSIDE.

GOOD LUCK, MAX.

99 THINKS SHE KNOWS WHAT
HAPPENED TO THE MISSING AGENTS.

SHE'S WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE. NOW
YOU TWO ARE TO GO TO THE GURU'S TEMPLE.

- ANYTHING WRONG, MAX?
- HMM? NO NO NO.

NOTHING AT ALL, CHIEF.

MAX, THIS IS A BIG CASE.

IF YOU CRACK IT, I'LL SEE TO IT
THAT YOU GET A SUBSTANTIAL RAISE.

I DON'T WANT A RAISE, CHIEF.

THE PRIVILEGE OF WORKING
FOR A DEDICATED MAN LIKE YOU

IS ALL THE REWARD I NEED.

MAX? MAX!

- THE NAME IS FRED.
- OH, MAX, THIS IS
NO TIME FOR JOKES.

WE'VE GOT TO FIND THE
GURU'S TEMPLE. CALL A CAB.

- THERE ARE NO TAXIS
AROUND HERE.
- BUT, MAX...

THE NAME IS FRED.

TAXI!

- WHERE TO, BUDDY?
- I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

- MAX!
- FRED.

AND I'M NOT IN YOUR CAB, BUDDY.

- ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TROUBLE?
- YES, I CERTAINLY AM.

MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HE'S A WISE GUY.

CHUM, HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE A PUNCH IN THE NOSE?

I'D LOVE IT.

OKAY. OUT!

- GOOD.
- MAX!

MAX, PLEASE. WHY
ARE YOU DOING THIS?

LOOK, BUDDY, I DON'T WANT TO
SLUG YA. I'M BIGGER THAN YOU.

OH, REALLY? WELL,
I HAPPEN TO BE 6'8"

AND A LINEBACKER FOR
THE GREEN BAY PACKERS.

GO AHEAD, SLUG
ME. I WANT YOU TO.

PLEASE DON'T FIGHT WITH HIM. HE
DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING.

- JUST YOU KEEP
OUT OF THIS, 99.
- HAD ENOUGH?

NO. I'D LIKE A LITTLE MORE.

OH, MAX!

MAX! THE LIE PILL!
YOU TOOK A LIE PILL!

- I DID NOT.
- ALL RIGHT. WOULD YOU
LIKE TO KISS ME RIGHT NOW?

- I CERTAINLY WOULD.
- YOU TOOK A LIE PILL.

- DID YOU LIKE THAT?
- NO.

- THIS MUST BE THE PLACE, 99.
- RIGHT, MAX.

FIRST LET'S MAKE SURE
THAT THE LIE PILL'S WORN OFF.

- WHO ARE YOU?
- ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S A SILLY QUESTION.

I'M MAXWELL SMART,
CONTROL'S TRIPLE-THREAT AGENT

AND THE IDOL OF MILLIONS
OF KIDS FROM 8 TO 80.

GOOD. IT'S WORN OFF.

NOW, FOR THE FIRST LESSON

IN SELF-REALIZATION
AND INNER KNOWLEDGE...

THE CONTEMPLATION OF THE NAVEL.

YOUR OWN NAVEL, PLEASE.

HUH? OH. YES.

WHO KNOWS WHICH
EXISTENCE IS OURS?

LAST NIGHT I DREAMED
I WAS A BUTTERFLY.

TODAY AM I A BUTTERFLY,

DREAMING I'M A MAN, HMM?

HMM?

CONTEMPLATE, MY CHILDREN.

I WILL SPEAK TO THE GURU
AND RETURN SHORTLY.

99, SOMETHING'S WRONG HERE.

THAT GIRL ISN'T A HIPPIE.
SHE'S A KAOS AGENT.

I SAW HER PICTURE IN THE FILES.

THAT PROVES THAT THE
GURU IS LINKED TO KAOS.

YES. WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO
KEEP UP WITH THIS FOOLISHNESS

UNTIL WE GET A CHANCE
TO SEE THE GURU.

MAX, I DON'T THINK
IT'S FOOLISHNESS.

I'M BEGINNING TO
TINGLE ALL OVER.

ME TOO. MY FEET ARE ASLEEP.

HOW ARE YOUR
CONTEMPLATIONS PROGRESSING?

UM, I SEE DOVES FLYING
ACROSS A BLUE SKY.

UH, I SEE BOATS SAILING
ACROSS A PEACEFUL SEA.

YOU MUST HAVE A
WIDE-SCREEN NAVEL.

THE GURU WILL SEE
YOU NOW. FOLLOW ME.

WHAT KIND OF ROOM IS THIS?

Groovy Guru: It is a room
from which there is no escape.

BUT WE JUST CAME TO MEDITATE
WITH THE GROOVY GURU.

Tell your bird
to cool it, Smart.

We heard your conversation
in the other room.

There was a crazy
little listening device

concealed in the carpet.

THE OLD BUG-IN-THE-RUG
TRICK AND WE FELL FOR IT.

You are about to fall again.

MAX, LOOK!

MAX, WHERE ARE WE?

Groovy Guru: You will
dig in a minute, lady fuzz.

Your search is ended.

IT'S THE GROOVY GURU.

You are hip, Agent 86.

Welcome to the temple of
meditation and inner peace.

TEMPLE, EH? LOOKS MORE LIKE
KAOS HEADQUARTERS TO ME.

Right again. You're getting
down to the nitty-gritty, baby.

OH, REALLY? WELL, YOU FORGOT
ABOUT ONE THING, MY FRIEND... THIS!

- BULLETPROOF GLASS!
- Oh, relax, Max.

Don't get uptight. My
bag is putting out sound,

real mind-bending stuff.

That's why them KAOS
cats cut me in on the action.

And now meet the swingers
who are gonna turn on

10 million TV-watching
teenyboppers.

Go, babies!

THE SACRED COWS!

OF COURSE! THE SACRED COWS!

OF COURSE IT'S THE SACRED COWS!
IT HAS TO BE THE SACRED COWS!

WHO ELSE COULD IT BE
BUT THE SACRED COWS?

- ONE QUESTION, 99.
- WHAT'S THAT, MAX?

- WHO ARE THE SACRED COWS?
- THE HOTTEST ROCK AND ROLL
GROUP IN THE COUNTRY, MAX.

OF COURSE. THE SACRED COWS.

Yeah, and with my
electronic sound control

fed into the amplifier,

the swingin'
sounds ain't just hip,

they are hypnotizing.

Dig!

THE MISSING CONTROL
AGENTS! HOW AWFUL!

YOU SAID IT. THEY'RE
TERRIBLE DANCERS.

As you can see, their minds
are grooving my wavelength.

One word from me and they'd
wipe out their own grandmothers.

Okay, cats, freeze the sound.

Tonight, all of
televisionland's teenagers

are gonna be on my wavelength.

And when I say go,
they are going to attack

all the squares of the
establishment, you dig?

And scooby-dooby-doo,

KAOS walks right
in and take over.

YES, WELL, YOU'RE NOT DEALING
WITH TEENAGERS HERE, GURU.

CONTROL WILL NEVER LET
YOU GET TO THOSE KIDS.

Oh, correction.
Correction, fuzz.

You two are gonna stop CONTROL

once I tune you in and
take over your minds.

Okay, boys, from the top.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME, GURU.

I'VE TRAINED MY MIND
TO GO COMPLETELY BLANK

ANYTIME I WANT IT TO.

THAT'S RIGHT. HE CAN DO THAT.

Don't speak too soon.
You ain't heard the lyrics yet.

MAX, QUICK! I'M WEAKENING!

THE LIE PILLS!

- I ONLY HAVE ONE LEFT, 99.
- BREAK IT IN HALF, MAX!

RIGHT.

OH, MAX!

Okay, cats, cool it.

ALL RIGHT, SMART, COOL IT.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA
DESTROY CONTROL.

BUT FOR A STARTER,
SHOOT THE CHICK.

- WITH WHAT?
- THE GUN. THE GUN IN YOUR HAND.

WHAT GUN? THIS ISN'T A GUN.
THIS IS MY NEPHEW'S RUBBER DUCK.

DON'T YOU TRY
PUTTING ME ON, JIM.

YOU'RE IN MY GROOVE AND
YOU WILL DO AS I SAY, RIGHT?

- WRONG!
- GET HIM!

MAN, THEY ARE BOTH WAY OUT.

COME ON, I'VE GOT TO GO UPSTAIRS
FOR THE TELEVISION REHEARSAL.

WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THEM LATER.

MAX! MAX!

OH, POOR MAX!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

THOSE LIE PILLS ARE DANGEROUS,
99. THEY MADE MY EARS RING.

OH, MAX, COME ON. WE'VE
GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

Well, made the
scene just in time.

- Where were we?
- Max: UH, WHERE WERE WE?

UH, YES. IF I
REMEMBER CORRECTLY,

YOU WERE JUST ABOUT TO KILL US.

Thanks, Smart. Now look
at the two groovy red lights.

That's the transmitter eye

of the most powerful
amplifier in the world.

Like ESA woofed up to a million.

- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, MAX?
- IT'S HIP TALK.

IT MEANS, "LIKE E.S.A.
WOOFED UP TO A MILLION."

That's "electronic sound
amplification," dumb-dumb.

Up to where a pin drop
sounds like an earthquake.

Oh, this gets
real loud, friends.

If I was you, I'd do more
listening than talking.

'Cause one loud noise and
zonk! No more eardrums.

What you hear
is your heartbeats.

Kind of a knocked-out
tempo, ain't it?

Ah, now, don't flip, kiddies.

A mosquito must be
in the pad with you.

Wild, huh? Well, I've
got to cut out of here.

My show goes on in five minutes.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

I got the transmitter eye set so
the sound gets higher and higher

until the vibration from your heartbeats
are gonna blow your brains apart.

Pow!

I kind of envy you. It's a groovy
way to make the big dropout.

MAX, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

ONE CHANCE... TUNING
FORK IN MY WATCH.

OH, MAX, WE COULDN'T
BE IN WORSE TROUBLE.

OH YES, WE COULD, 99. I
THINK I'VE GOT THE HICCUPS.

IT WORKED, MAX!
HOW DID YOU DO IT?

THIS TUNING FORK
SET UP VIBRATIONS

TOO HIGH FOR THE HUMAN EAR
BUT HIGH ENOUGH TO SHATTER.

MAX, WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
THE BROADCAST IS ABOUT TO START.

ALL YOU SOUND
TRIPPERS AND HIPPIES,

YOU GATHER ROUND THE BOOB
TUBE AND TUNE UP HIGH, YOU DIG?

WE ARE THROUGH COGITATING,
WE'RE THROUGH MEDITATING,

WE HAVE GIVEN UP
INFILTRATING AND NOW WE'RE

GONNA START DEMONSTRATING
AND ELIMINATING.

SO YOU TAKE YOUR CUE FROM
THE GROOVY GURU AND LISTEN

WHILE THE SACRED COWS
LAY THE BIG MESSAGE ON YOU.

GO, MAN, GO!

ALL RIGHT, GURU, THAT'S IT. THE
SHOW'S OVER. STOP THE MUSIC.

KEEP IT GOING, COWS.

I DID IT, 99. I HOPE
I'M NOT TOO LATE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH OF
THAT MESSAGE GOT THROUGH.

NONE OF IT GOT THROUGH, MAX.

- DON'T TELL ME
YOU PULLED THE PLUG.
- I PULLED THE PLUG, MAX.

YOU ASKED ME NOT TO
TELL YOU THAT, DIDN'T YOU?