All language subtitles for Get Smart S03E05 Maxwell Smart, Private Eye.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.HBO

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,886 Man over P.A.: Flight 12 now loading gate three 2 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,888 for Philadelphia, New York, 3 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,023 Boston and Bangor. 4 00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:16,526 Attention, flight seven to New York 5 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,995 will be delayed 30 minutes. 6 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,465 Attention... Mr. Buck Henry, 7 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:24,701 please claim your poodle at baggage counter. 8 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:28,472 Mr. Buck Henry, your poodle is waiting... 9 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,507 - MARKOFF? - YES. 10 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,843 I'M MAXWELL SMART, SECRET AGENT 86 OF CONTROL. 11 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:34,511 I'VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO PROTECT YOU. 12 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,880 OH, YOU SEEM FAMILIAR. 13 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,816 YES. I'VE BEEN GUARDING YOU EVER SINCE YOU GOT THROUGH THE IRON CURTAIN. 14 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,919 OF COURSE. YOU WERE ON THE PLANE WITH ME. 15 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:46,222 YOU WERE THE MAN SEATED ACROSS THE AISLE READING A MAGAZINE. 16 00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,591 - NO. - THE MAN BEHIND ME, 17 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:51,394 - WITH THE DARK GLASSES AND THE MUSTACHE. - NO. 18 00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,396 BUT I'M SURE I SAW YOU ON THE PLANE. 19 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,765 I WAS THE STEWARDESS WHO FLUFFED YOUR PILLOW. 20 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,268 AN INGENIOUS DISGUISE, MR. SMART. 21 00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,403 WELL, FORTUNATELY I HAVE THE LEGS FOR IT. 22 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:03,473 I THINK WE'D BETTER USE THE SIDE DOOR. COME ON. 23 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,609 AM I IN ANY DANGER, MR. SMART? 24 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,077 NO, EVERYTHING HAS WORKED OUT EXACTLY AS I PLANNED IT. 25 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,746 - NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY KNOW YOU'RE HERE. - TRANSWORLD PRESS. 26 00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,915 DO YOU MIND ANSWERING A FEW QUESTIONS, MISS MARKOFF? 27 00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:15,718 JUST A MINUTE... WHICH MISS MARKOFF ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 28 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,821 TRINKA MARKOFF, DAUGHTER OF THE LATE BORAVIAN PRIME MINISTER, 29 00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:21,191 - HERE TO ADDRESS THE U.N. - YES, I'M AFRAID 30 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:24,160 YOU GENTLEMEN MADE A BIG MISTAKE. YOU SEE, THIS IS LUBELLA MARKOFF, 31 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,028 THE EUROPEAN HIGH-HURDLE CHAMPION. 32 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,298 SHE'S HERE TO TEST OUR HURDLES. 33 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,255 HOLD IT! 34 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:36,406 WELL, MISS MARKOFF, I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE. 35 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:39,742 ONE CLICK OF THIS SHUTTER AND YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN HIT BY A BULLET... 36 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,111 THE OLD GUN-IN- THE-CAMERA TRICK. 37 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,779 HOW COULD YOU BE SURE? 38 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:46,115 THAT CORNY OUTFIT... THE CURLED-UP HAT, 39 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:49,952 THE LOUD PLAID JACKET... NO PHOTOGRAPHER DRESSES LIKE THAT. 40 00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:53,122 THEY'RE MORE LIKE THIS FELLOW HERE. NEAT, QUIET... 41 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,792 AND DEADLY. 42 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:58,327 MISS MARKOFF, MR. SMART, 43 00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:00,296 I SUGGEST YOU COME ALONG WITH US QUIETLY. 44 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,760 WE HAVE A CAR WAITING OUTSIDE. 45 00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:15,634 GET GOING! 46 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,955 W STREET, CORNER OF 34. 47 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,058 OH, YOU WANT CONTROL SECRET HEADQUARTERS. 48 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,661 - HELLO, MAX. - AGENT 34! 49 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,030 WHAT A BREAK! HOW DID THE CHIEF KNOW I'D BE NEEDING YOU? 50 00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:37,134 HE DIDN'T, MAX. THIS IS MY JOB. I'M MOONLIGHTING. 51 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,136 - WHAT? - WHILE YOU WERE OUT OF THE COUNTRY, 52 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,705 THERE WAS ANOTHER BUDGET CUT AT CONTROL. WE'RE ALL ON PART-TIME. 53 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,964 THAT BLACK CAR... IT IS FOLLOWING US. 54 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,981 TURN RIGHT AT THE NEXT CORNER. 55 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,286 THAT'S THE LONGER WAY, MAX. THAT WILL RUN YOU ANOTHER 50¢. 56 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,108 TURN! 57 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,560 - YOU'VE GOT A BLOCK LEAD ON THEM. STEP ON IT! - OKAY. 58 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,518 TAXI! 59 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,468 WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 60 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,070 COMPANY RULES, MAX... YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SHARE THE CAB. 61 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,927 324 Z STREET. 62 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,946 LOOK, COULD YOU GO A LITTLE FASTER, DRIVER? 63 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,049 - I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK. - OKAY, BUDDY, 64 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:28,473 BUT IF I GET A TICKET, YOU'LL PAY FOR IT. 65 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:33,155 - UH, THAT'S MY CORNER. - I CAN'T STOP NOW. 66 00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:35,146 WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 67 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,786 AT LEAST HE COULD HAVE SLOWED DOWN. 68 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,802 WELL, CHIEF, IT WAS NIP AND TUCK FOR A WHILE, 69 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:56,439 - BUT I FINALLY GOT MISS MARKOFF BACK HERE SAFELY. - WHERE IS SHE, MAX? 70 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,441 - SHE'S IN THE DEBRIEFING ROOM. - WELL, 71 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:02,712 - OUR MAIN CONCERN IS MISS MARKOFF'S SAFETY... - WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF. 72 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:06,148 - ISN'T THIS TOP SECRET? - YES, MAX. 73 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:09,986 WELL, SHOULDN'T WE USE THE CONE OF SILENCE? 74 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:13,044 - MAX, THE CONE OF SILENCE IS... - I'LL GET IT, CHIEF. 75 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,263 WHERE'S THE CONE OF SILENCE? 76 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,698 MAX, WE LEASED IT TO THE C.I.A. 77 00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:24,768 BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 78 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,970 IT'S JUST FOR A SHORT TIME. I'M SURE CONGRESS WILL RECONSIDER 79 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:31,508 - OUR BUDGET CUT. - BUT WHY DOESN'T CONGRESS CUT THE C.I.A.'S BUDGET? 80 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:34,277 HOW CAN THEY? NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEIR BUDGET IS. 81 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,012 WE'LL JUST HAVE TO TALK HERE. 82 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,949 WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF. WE CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE THAT KIND OF A CHANCE. 83 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,018 I DEMAND... 84 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,387 OH, MAX, NO. 85 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:48,858 YES! THE CLOSET OF SILENCE. 86 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,815 COME ON, 99. 87 00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,635 - NOW, MISS MARKOFF... - SHH! 88 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:03,038 HOLD IT, CHIEF. 89 00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:06,576 - OKAY. - MISS MARKOFF WON'T BE SPEAKING TO THE U.N. 90 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,310 UNTIL THREE DAYS FROM NOW. 91 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:12,047 NOW, KAOS WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP HER FROM MAKING THAT SPEECH. 92 00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:15,017 OUR BEST CHANCE TO OUTWIT THEM IS TO MOVE HER AROUND. 93 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,919 SHE'LL SPEND THE FIRST DAY HERE 94 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,455 AND THE SECOND DAY 99 WILL CHECK HER IN 95 00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:21,524 TO THE ALLEDON ARMS HOTEL. 96 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:25,728 THE ALLEDON... THE ALLEDON ARMS HOTEL? THAT DIRTY OLD DUMP? 97 00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:28,498 WELL, MAX, THEY'RE GIVING US A COMMERCIAL RATE. 98 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,200 I CAN'T HEAR YOU, CHIEF. YOU'RE TALKING INTO YOUR OVERCOAT. 99 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,369 LET ME OUT OF HERE! 100 00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:37,540 MAX, THE DOOR IS LOCKED! 101 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:41,343 WHY DO I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THINGS LIKE THIS? 102 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,746 LARRABEE! LARRABEE! 103 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:46,415 CHIEF, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME. LARRABEE CAN'T HEAR YOU. 104 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:48,751 THE WALLS ARE TOO THICK. 105 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:54,858 SORRY ABOUT THAT, LARRABEE. 106 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,814 THANKS, MAX. 107 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,600 - WHAT'S THE MATTER, MAX? - I DON'T KNOW, 99. 108 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:07,370 I'M SO DEPRESSED. MY FIRST DAY BACK IN THE COUNTRY 109 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,638 AND THE CHIEF BAWLS ME OUT FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T EVEN DO, 110 00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,574 AND HE GIVES ME A 50% CUT IN SALARY. 111 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,542 BUT, MAX, WE ALL HAD TO TAKE THAT CUT. 112 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:16,179 BESIDES, YOU CAN MAKE IT UP WORKING PART-TIME. 113 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,414 AFTER ALL, OUR NEW HOURS ARE ONLY FROM 8:00 IN THE MORNING 114 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,717 UNTIL 12:00 NOON. I'M MAKING A DOLLAR AN HOUR BABYSITTING. 115 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,953 AND THAT'S FINE FOR A GIRL, BUT WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 116 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,155 WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE YOU BECAME A SECRET AGENT? 117 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,058 I WAS A BABYSITTER... THAT'S HOW I WORKED MY WAY THROUGH COLLEGE. 118 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,761 - WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER THAT? - WELL, CONTROL RECRUITED ME 119 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:35,753 RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE. SEE, I WAS A BONUS BABY SPY. 120 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,534 - UGH! - WHAT'S THE MATTER, MAX? 121 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:41,337 THAT COFFEE IS LUKEWARM. 122 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:44,761 WELL, I GUESS THE ONLY THING YOU KNOW IS SPYING. 123 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:49,612 WAIT A MINUTE, 99. THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA. 124 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,635 YOU AND I ARE GOING INTO BUSINESS. 125 00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:08,898 DON'T BE DISCOURAGED, MAX. AFTER ALL, THE OFFICE HAS ONLY BEEN OPEN 126 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:12,001 - FOR A FEW HOURS. - YES, AND NO CASES YET. 127 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:15,939 I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, 99. THIS IS A PERFECT LOCATION FOR A PRIVATE EYE... 128 00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:18,841 RIGHT BETWEEN A DIVORCE LAWYER AND A CONGRESSMAN. 129 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,944 LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO BABYSITTING. 130 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:24,314 NO, MAX, I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU. 131 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,291 ARE YOU MR. SMART, THE PRIVATE EYE? 132 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:38,527 - YOU SAID WHAT? - I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU, MR. SMART. 133 00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:40,551 ALL RIGHT, START TALKING. 134 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,533 - ALONE. - GET OUT... 135 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:47,169 SWEETHEART. 136 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,639 I'LL BE IN THE OUTER OFFICE 137 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:53,131 IF YOU NEED ME, JUST WHISTLE. 138 00:08:57,436 --> 00:09:00,204 WELL, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, MISS... 139 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:04,787 - WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, MISS UH... - MRS. 140 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:08,579 - MRS. WEATHERLY. - OH, PLEASE SIT DOWN, MRS. WEATHERLY. 141 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,361 MR. SMART, I NEED YOUR HELP. 142 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,164 I NEED A VERY BRAVE AND CLEVER MAN. 143 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,566 CIGARETTE? 144 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:18,823 NO, THANK YOU. 145 00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:24,473 SO YOU NEED HELP, MRS. WEATHERLY. 146 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:28,332 WELL, YOU'VE CERTAINLY COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. 147 00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:38,788 - WHAT HAPPENED? - YOU FELL OFF THE CHAIR. 148 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,378 EXACTLY. 149 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:45,094 - A DRINK, MRS. WEATHERLY? - THANK YOU. 150 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,384 MR. SMART, I HAVE A PROBLEM. 151 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,273 YOU CERTAINLY DO HAVE A PROBLEM. 152 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,575 NO NO NO, IT'S MY HUSBAND. 153 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,277 HE'S THREATENED TO KILL ME. 154 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,579 HE'S MADLY, INSANELY JEALOUS, 155 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:07,083 AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. I'VE NEVER GIVEN HIM ANY REASON. 156 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,086 I'VE NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT... 157 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:14,423 - YOU'RE VERY HANDSOME. - YES, I KNOW THAT, MRS. WEATHERLY. 158 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,658 NOW, ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND... LET'S HAVE A DESCRIPTION. 159 00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:20,062 - EYES? - THEY'RE NOT AT ALL LIKE YOURS... 160 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:23,132 DEEP, FASCINATING, PIERCING. 161 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,368 "DEEP, FASCIN"... 162 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,703 NO, NOT MY EYES, MRS. WEATHERLY. YOUR HUSBAND'S. 163 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:31,173 - BLOODSHOT. - BLOODSHOT EYES. 164 00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,775 OKAY. HAIR? 165 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,344 - BALD. - BALD HAIR. 166 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,013 - HEIGHT. - SHORT. 167 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,315 SHORT HEIGHT. BUILD? 168 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,973 - TUBBY. - TUBBY. 169 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,622 YOU'D BETTER HAVE ANOTHER DRINK, MRS. WEATHERLY. 170 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,926 THAT MUST BE MY HUSBAND. IF HE FINDS ME HERE HE'LL KILL ME. 171 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,928 ALL RIGHT, DON'T GET EXCITED. TAKE IT EASY. 172 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,997 YOU CAN GO RIGHT DOWN THE FIRE ESCAPE. 173 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,955 OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 174 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,205 - ALL RIGHT, COME IN. - MAX... 175 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:06,409 OH, IT'S YOU, 99. MY CLIENT GOT SCARED. 176 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:09,211 SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HER HUSBAND AND RAN DOWN THE FIRE ESCAPE. 177 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:12,247 OH. MAX! 178 00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:14,249 99, DON'T TELL ME THERE'S NO FIRE ESCAPE. 179 00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:15,384 THERE'S NO FIRE ESCAPE! 180 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,453 I ASKED YOU NOT TO TELL ME THAT. 181 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,488 OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, MAX. 182 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,692 SHE HIT THE CANOPY. SHE'S JUST LIMPING A LITTLE. 183 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:25,561 THERE GOES MY FIRST AND ONLY CLIENT. 184 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,363 NO, MAX, THAT'S NOT SO... 185 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,732 THERE ARE TWO MEN WAITING TO SEE YOU IN THE OUTER OFFICE. 186 00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:32,134 OH, GOOD. ALL RIGHT. 187 00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:35,025 - SEND THEM IN. - RIGHT, MAX. 188 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,764 WOULD YOU GENTLEMEN STEP IN, PLEASE? 189 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,918 - MR. SMART? - YOU SAID WHAT? 190 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,020 LET US PRESENT OURSELVES... 191 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,088 MR. SIDNEY, MR. PETER. 192 00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:56,859 - MR. SIDNEY. - NO, I AM SIDNEY. HE IS PETER. 193 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,361 GENTLEMEN, PLEASE BE SEATED. 194 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,597 THANK YOU. 195 00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,599 I'LL COME RIGHT TO THE POINT. 196 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:07,070 WE'RE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SAFETY OF TRINKA MARKOFF. 197 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:11,174 WHO? 198 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,509 OUR MR. SMART IS SPLENDIDLY DISCREET, IS HE NOT, 199 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:17,012 - MR. SIDNEY? - HMM, YES HE IS, MR. PETER. 200 00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:20,382 DEAR TRINKA TOLD US HOW BRAVE YOU WERE THIS MORNING 201 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:25,054 AND HOW YOU SAVED HER FROM THOSE VICIOUS KAOS KILLERS. 202 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:29,425 - I'VE ALWAYS HATED BRUTALITY. - PLEASE, MR. SIDNEY. 203 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,460 WE'RE AFRAID ABOUT WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO MISS TRINKA. 204 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,896 WE WISH TO HIRE YOU TO PROTECT HER. 205 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,754 - I SEE. - ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THE JOB? 206 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,991 WELL, THAT ALL DEPENDS. 207 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,607 WHEN YOU HIRE ME, YOU HIRE THE BEST. 208 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,742 AND THE BEST IS EXPENSIVE. 209 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:50,312 MY PRICE IS HIGH AND I WON'T HAVE ANY HAGGLING. 210 00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,370 TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. 211 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,287 - Mr. Peter: HOW MUCH? - UH, MAKE ME AN OFFER. 212 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,122 $250 A DAY. 213 00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:03,392 - YOU SAID WHAT? - $250 A DAY. 214 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,828 - I'LL TAKE IT. - GOOD. 215 00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,963 AN ADVANCE AND OUR TELEPHONE NUMBER. 216 00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:11,467 WE WISH YOU TO KEEP US APPRISED OF MISS TRINKA'S WHEREABOUTS AT ALL TIMES. 217 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,069 - JUST SO WE KNOW THAT SHE'S SAFE. - YOU SEE, 218 00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:16,472 MISS TRINKA IS A WORRIER 219 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:19,641 AND SHE WOULD ONLY WORRY IF SHE KNEW THAT WE WERE WORRIED. 220 00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,844 DON'T GIVE IT ANOTHER THOUGHT, GENTLEMEN. 221 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,280 I WOULDN'T WANT TRINKA TO WORRY THAT YOU WERE WORRIED 222 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,739 THAT SHE WAS WORRIED, SO DON'T WORRY. 223 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,189 ONE OTHER THING... 224 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,457 WE MUST SWEAR YOU TO ABSOLUTE SECRECY. 225 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,593 NO ONE MUST KNOW, NOT EVEN YOUR SECRETARY. 226 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,528 VERY WELL, GENTLEMEN. 227 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,197 GOODBYE, MR. SMART. 228 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,299 GOODBYE, MR. SIDNEY. MR. PETER. 229 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,802 I'M SIDNEY. HE'S PETER. 230 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:49,806 OH. SORRY ABOUT THAT. I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP GETTING YOU TWO MIXED UP. 231 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,762 HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. 232 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:02,551 - WHAT DID THEY WANT, MAX? - THEY WANNA PAY ME... 233 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,254 THEY WANNA PAY ME $250 A DAY. 234 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,057 - FOR WHAT? - I'M SORRY, 99, 235 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,049 BUT MY CLIENTS HAVE SWORN ME TO SECRECY. 236 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:17,166 OUR MR. SMART IS A PERFECT TOOL, IS HE NOT, MR. SIDNEY? 237 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,602 OH, YES, HE IS, MR. PETER. 238 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,839 HE DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO SUSPECT 239 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,107 WE ARE KAOS AGENTS 240 00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,543 AND THAT HE WILL LEAD MISS MARKOFF 241 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,368 RIGHT INTO OUR TRAP. 242 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,155 - HERE YOU ARE, LARRABEE. - THANKS, CHIEF. 243 00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:42,324 - HMM... - SORRY ABOUT... 244 00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:44,281 DON'T SAY IT! 245 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,497 CHIEF, WHEN I TELL YOU WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING... 246 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,566 MAX, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN YOUR SPARE TIME. 247 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,802 FROM 8:00 TO 12:00, YOU ARE ON CONTROL TIME. 248 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,738 IT'S A COUPLE OF MINUTES PAST 8:00 RIGHT NOW. 249 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,640 YOU AND 99 HAVE TO GET MISS MARKOFF 250 00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:00,208 - DOWN TO THE ALLEDON ARMS HOTEL. - RIGHT, CHIEF. 251 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,477 - WHERE IS SHE NOW? - SHE'S AT THE SECRET IDENTITY SECTION. 252 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,412 - THEY'RE WORKING ON A DISGUISE. - OH, REALLY? 253 00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:07,282 - WHAT KIND OF A DISGUISE, CHIEF? - SHE'LL HAVE A DARK WIG, 254 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,451 CHANGING HER DRESS AND WEARING SUNGLASSES. 255 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,453 COME ON, LET'S SEE HOW SHE'S DOING. COME ON, MAX. 256 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:14,677 UH, I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE, CHIEF. I WANNA MAKE A PHONE CALL. 257 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,972 HELLO, MR. SIDNEY? OH, SORRY. MR. PETER? 258 00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:32,007 MAXWELL SMART REPORTING. 259 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,543 OH, MISS MARKOFF IS FINE. 260 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,245 YES, I'VE TAKEN EVERY PRECAUTION. 261 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:41,283 WELL, SHE WILL BE WEARING DARK HAIR AND SUNGLASSES. 262 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:45,120 AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE'RE TAKING HER TO OUR HIDEOUT AT THE ALLEDON ARMS. 263 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,144 DON'T MENTION IT. IT'S MY JOB. 264 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,211 WE'RE HERE, MISS MARKOFF. 265 00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,047 - WHAT TOOK SO LONG? - MAX HAD TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE SAFE. 266 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,550 YES. THAT'S WHY I DROVE AROUND TOWN FOR THREE HOURS; 267 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,585 NO ONE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY FOLLOWED US HERE. 268 00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:25,883 THANK HEAVENS THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF THEM. 269 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,886 MAKE THAT THREE. 270 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,758 MAKE IT FOUR AND KEEP THE BOOKS OPEN. 271 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:41,131 MAX, IT'S A TRAP. HELP, SOMEBODY! CALL THE POLICE! 272 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,918 MAX, HOW COULD THEY HAVE FOUND OUT? 273 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,902 THERE MUST BE A SECURITY LEAK IN OUR ORGANIZATION. 274 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,748 IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON THAT STOOL PIGEON, I'LL... 275 00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:04,566 MAX, WE'VE GOTTA LEAD THEM AWAY FROM MISS MARKOFF. 276 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,590 COME ON, LET'S GO. 277 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,976 - HOLD IT, 99. - WHAT IS IT, MAX? 278 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,012 - WHAT TIME IS IT? - UH, 12:00. 279 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,915 THAT'S IT. WE'RE OFF-DUTY FOR CONTROL. 280 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,885 MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 281 00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,553 I'M CALLING THE CHIEF. 282 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:28,290 I WANNA ASK HIM ABOUT MY ACCIDENT AND HOSPITALIZATION INSURANCE. 283 00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:31,126 OH, MAX. 284 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,183 YOU KEEP THEM BUSY. 285 00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,134 - HELLO, CHIEF? - OH, MAX? 286 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:41,369 I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE ALLEDON ARMS HOTEL. 287 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,193 THEY SAID THERE'S A GUN BATTLE GOING ON OUTSIDE. 288 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,876 I KNOW, CHIEF. THAT'S WHAT I'M CALLING YOU ABOUT. 289 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,112 WE'RE PINNED DOWN HERE BY FOUR KAOS MEN. 290 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:52,214 - I'LL SEND HELP. - UH, CHIEF, 291 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,383 I HAVE A JURISDICTIONAL PROBLEM HERE. 292 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,785 YOU SEE, UP TO 12:00 I WAS WORKING FOR YOU, 293 00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:00,689 BUT AFTER 12:00 I WAS HIRED BY CERTAIN PARTIES TO PROTECT MISS MARKOFF. 294 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,325 MAX, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 295 00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:06,628 THE QUESTION IS, EVEN THOUGH IT'S AFTER 12:00 296 00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,630 THE FIGHT STARTED BEFORE 12:00. 297 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:11,133 NOW, WHAT I WANT TO KNOW, IS MY ACCIDENT AND HOSPI... 298 00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:13,202 MAX, LOOK OUT! 299 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:16,305 - MAX, WHAT'S HAPPENING? - NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT, CHIEF. 300 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,640 THE IMPORTANT THING THAT I WANNA KNOW IS, 301 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:22,099 - ACCORDING TO RULE 343... - MAX... 302 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,020 - MAX, WHAT'S HAPPENING? - CHIEF, 303 00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:32,922 BETTER FORGET ABOUT MY HOSPITALIZATION. 304 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,090 CHECK MY LIFE INSURANCE. 305 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,601 - THANKS, SAM. - SAM? 306 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,537 YES, THE GUY THAT WAS DRIVING THE TRUCK WAS AGENT 72. 307 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:51,662 HE MUST HAVE A PART-TIME JOB AT THE LAUNDRY. 308 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:58,547 NO, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT! 309 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,550 BUT, CHIEF, SOMEHOW KAOS KNEW THAT WE WERE TAKING TRINKA 310 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,586 - TO THE ALLEDON ARMS. - AND HOW COULD THEY? 311 00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,354 HOW COULD THEY, CHIEF? ONLY ONE WAY! 312 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:08,224 I'LL TELL YOU HOW... THERE'S A TRAITOR RIGHT HERE IN OUR MIDST! 313 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,725 WHO, MAX? WHO?! 314 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,293 I DON'T KNOW, BUT REMEMBER THIS... 315 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:15,030 EVERY MAN AT CONTROL WHO WAS HIT BY THE BUDGET CUT IS HARD-PRESSED. 316 00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:19,034 NOW, OBVIOUSLY, SOMEONE DESPERATE FOR MONEY IS WORKING FOR KAOS, 317 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:21,870 SOMEONE RIGHT HERE IN OUR ORGANIZATION. 318 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,606 BY THE WAY, CHIEF, HOW COME YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE 319 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,575 WHO DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE A PART-TIME JOB? 320 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:27,776 MAX! 321 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,746 JUST A FRIENDLY QUESTION, CHIEF. 322 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,448 I STILL SAY MISS MARKOFF WOULD BE SAFER HERE THAN ANYPLACE ELSE 323 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,150 AND THAT'S WHERE SHE'S GOING TO STAY. 324 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:38,287 AND I SAY THAT IT'S TOO DANGEROUS FOR HER HERE. 325 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,890 MAY I REMIND YOU THAT I'M THE CHIEF? 326 00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:43,325 YOU MAY REMIND ME, BUT IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD. 327 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:47,062 - AND YOUR BOSS! - NOT AFTER 12:00. 328 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:50,265 EXACTLY WHERE DO YOU THINK MISS MARKOFF WOULD BE SAFE? 329 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:52,333 I'M SORRY, CHIEF, BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT. 330 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,469 THERE'S A SECURITY LEAK HERE. 331 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:57,372 SHE'LL BE PERFECTLY SAFE. 332 00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,964 SHE'LL BE WITH ME. 333 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,186 MR. SMART, 334 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,255 WHY DON'T YOU TURN ON THE LIGHTS? 335 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,023 I DON'T WANNA TAKE ANY CHANCES. 336 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,959 BESIDES, I'VE GOT THE EYES OF A CAT. 337 00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:20,529 NOW LET ME SEE... AS I RECALL, 338 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,400 IT'S EXACTLY FIVE STEPS TO MY OFFICE DOOR. 339 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:28,959 ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR... 340 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,830 FIVE. 341 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,951 GOOD EVENING, MR. SMART. 342 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:45,320 WELL, MR. SIDNEY AND MR. PETER. 343 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,911 I MEAN, MR. PETER AND MR. SIDNEY. 344 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,926 WELL, TRINKA, AREN'T YOU GONNA SAY HELLO TO YOUR FRIENDS? 345 00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,329 FRIENDS? THIS IS THE FIRST TIME 346 00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,865 - I'VE EVER SEEN THEM IN MY LIFE. - Mr. Peter: AND, MY DEAR, 347 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,334 - THE VERY LAST TIME. - MR. SMART, 348 00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,369 WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT? 349 00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,705 DON'T ASK SILLY QUESTIONS, TRINKA. 350 00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:06,474 - WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT? - VERY SIMPLE, MR. SMART, 351 00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:08,143 YOU'VE BEEN A PERFECT DUPE. 352 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:11,146 YOU'VE LED MISS MARKOFF INTO A TRAP AND WE SHALL HAVE TO KILL HER... 353 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:12,269 AND YOU TOO. 354 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,818 - ALL RIGHT, DROP 'EM. - DROP WHAT? 355 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:19,488 OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE, LIFT 'EM. 356 00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:22,591 I HARDLY THINK THAT WILL BE NECESSARY. 357 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,214 WILBUR. 358 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,731 YOU DON'T THINK I'M GONNA FALL FOR THAT OLD ONE, DO YOU? 359 00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,688 MR. SMART. 360 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,904 THE OLD WILBUR-IN- THE-DRAPE TRICK. 361 00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:38,840 GET 'EM UP. 362 00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:41,609 ARE THEY UP? 363 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:44,680 WILBUR, YOU'LL DISPOSE OF THEM AFTER WE'RE GONE. 364 00:21:44,704 --> 00:21:48,317 YOU KNOW HOW MR. SIDNEY ABHORS BRUTALITY. 365 00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:50,385 - COME, COME, MR. SIDNEY. - YOU ARE... 366 00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:53,929 YOU ARE TRULY A GENTLE SOUL, MR. PETER. 367 00:21:56,949 --> 00:22:01,430 WE KNOW YOU HAVE ANOTHER GUN HIDDEN IN THE DESK, MR. SMART. 368 00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:03,798 BUT IT'S USELESS WITHOUT THESE, IS IT NOT? 369 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,268 YES. WELL, I WASN'T REACHING FOR A GUN. 370 00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:08,437 I WAS REACHING FOR THIS. 371 00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:10,706 IT'S ALL RIGHT IF I HAVE A LAST DRINK, ISN'T IT? 372 00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:13,074 OF COURSE, A MAN LIKE YOU 373 00:22:13,098 --> 00:22:15,444 SHOULD DIE GALLANTLY. 374 00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:18,802 THAT'S THE WAY I ALWAYS DIE, FAT MAN. 375 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,728 CHEERS. 376 00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:41,658 DON'T MOVE. 377 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,739 WHO'S THAT? 378 00:22:44,763 --> 00:22:48,443 - THAT'S PROBABLY THE POLICE. - THE POLICE? 379 00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:51,379 HE CAN GET AWAY BY GOING DOWN THE FIRE ESCAPE. 380 00:22:51,403 --> 00:22:55,383 THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA, MR. SMART. 381 00:22:55,407 --> 00:22:58,921 NOW, PLEASE, MOVE OVER THERE. 382 00:22:58,945 --> 00:23:01,023 NOW, DO NOT... 383 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:04,560 I REPEAT, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW ME 384 00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:09,252 BECAUSE I AM A DEADLY SHOT. 385 00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:14,202 OH, HOW TERRIBLE. 386 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:17,327 OH, MAYBE HE WAS LUCKY AND HIT THE CANOPY. 387 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:21,097 MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH. 388 00:23:22,668 --> 00:23:25,080 - CHIEF? - MAX, WHAT HAPPENED? 389 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,215 - MISS MARKOFF, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? - YES, 390 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,739 THANKS TO ALL OF YOU. 391 00:23:32,311 --> 00:23:34,189 CHIEF, YOU CAME JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME. 392 00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:37,392 AND WHAT A CLEVER WAY TO GET INTO THE BUILDING... DISGUISED AS A JANITOR. 393 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,861 DISGUISED? OH, THIS. 394 00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:42,164 WELL, THEY CUT MY SALARY TOO, MAX. 395 00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:44,955 THIS IS MY WAY TO MAKE IT UP. 396 00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,794 WHO BROKE THE DOOR, MAX? 30864

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