All language subtitles for Get Smart S03E03 Witness for the Persecution.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.HBO

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:11,855 HELLO? 2 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:15,258 OH, HI, 99. I'M AT THE REAR ENTRANCE TO THE TOY COMPANY. 3 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,194 I have a feeling that the tip we got 4 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,896 THAT THIS IS A KAOS INFORMATION DROP IS A PHONY. 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,654 - ANYTHING ON YOUR END? - NO, MAX, NOT A THING. 6 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,297 WAIT A MINUTE, 99. SOMEONE'S COMING. 7 00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,375 IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S JUST A KID. 8 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,657 HOLD IT, 99. SOMETHING'S WRONG. 9 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,278 ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE THAT FOOTBALL, SONNY. 10 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,794 HOW DID YOU KNOW I WASN'T A LITTLE BOY? 11 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:53,964 REALLY QUITE SIMPLE... TRAINING, OBSERVATION 12 00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:56,366 AND A FACT THAT VERY FEW LITTLE BOYS 13 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,035 CAN AFFORD TO SMOKE 50¢ CIGARS. 14 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,371 I GOT TO BREAK THAT HABIT. 15 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,228 THE FOOTBALL. 16 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:11,781 WELL, UNLESS I MISS MY GUESS, 17 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,618 THIS FOOTBALL SHOULD BE THE KEY TO YOUR WHOLE OPERATION. 18 00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,521 I THINK WE'LL JUST TAKE A LITTLE TRIP DOWN TO HEADQUARTERS. 19 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:20,423 THERE'S A FEW QUESTIONS I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU. 20 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,259 THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY, MR. SMART. 21 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,128 I HAVE THE ANSWER RIGHT HERE. 22 00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:27,697 DROP THE GUN, PLEASE. 23 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,700 AND THE SHOE. 24 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,269 ALL RIGHT, YOU MAY TURN AROUND. 25 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:36,172 I PREFER KILLING A MAN FACE TO FACE. 26 00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:38,174 DON'T SHOOT HIM! 27 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,310 JUST BEFORE I GAVE HIM THE FOOTBALL, 28 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,478 I ACTIVATED THE DESTRUCT VALVE. 29 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:45,314 IT COULD GO OFF ANY SECOND! 30 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:48,440 AND IF IT HITS THE GROUND, IT'LL EXPLODE IMMEDIATELY! 31 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,922 MAX? 32 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,838 - OH NO! - MAX, I WAS COMING TO CHECK ON YOU, 33 00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:09,840 AND THIS FOOTBALL FELL RIGHT INTO MY HANDS. 34 00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:11,842 99, THE FOOTBALL IS A BOMB! 35 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,798 - OH NO! - OH, YES! 36 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,999 HOLD IT! 37 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,549 LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. THAT THING IS LIABLE TO GO OFF ANY MINUTE! 38 00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:29,752 NO, MAX. WHEN I CAUGHT THE FOOTBALL, I HEARD IT TICKING. 39 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:33,089 IT WAS A SIMPLE TIMING MECHANISM, SO I DEFUSED IT WITH MY BOBBY PIN. 40 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,091 PUT ON A PRETTY GOOD ACT, DIDN'T I? 41 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,760 YOU CERTAINLY DID, 99, BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT 42 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,985 THAT MY ACT OF PRETENDING TO BE FRIGHTENED WASN'T BAD EITHER. 43 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,437 MAX, YOU'VE BEEN EXAMINING THAT FOR 20 MINUTES, 44 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:51,007 AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW KAOS USED IT TO TRANSMIT MESSAGES. 45 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,510 NOW WHY DON'T YOU LET DR. BASCOMB EXAMINE IT? 46 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:56,246 AFTER ALL, HE IS THE HEAD OF OUR CRIME LAB. 47 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,615 JUST A MOMENT, DR. BASCOMB. 48 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:01,050 I THINK I'VE FOUND IT. 49 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,353 THERE'S A KAOS CODING DEVICE CONCEALED 50 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,755 IN THE BLADDER OF THIS FOOTBALL, RIGHT? 51 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,757 - WRONG. - WRONG. 52 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,227 MAX, NOWADAYS FOOTBALLS ARE NOT MADE WITH BLADDERS. 53 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:13,896 YOU SEE, 99? NOWADAYS FOOTBALLS ARE NOT MADE WITH BLADDERS. 54 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,766 IN THAT CASE IT'S OBVIOUSLY CONCEALED IN THE PIGSKIN. 55 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,301 - RIGHT? - WRONG. 56 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,803 WRONG. IT'S DEFINITELY NOT CONCEALED IN THE PIGSKIN. 57 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,273 MAX, MAY I? 58 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:26,042 VERY WELL, DR. BASCOMB, BUT YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME. 59 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,511 YOU'LL FIND THAT OUTSIDE OF THE BOMB MECHANISM, 60 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,913 THIS IS JUST AN ORDINARY FOOTBALL. 61 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,915 YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS. 62 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:36,185 THE CODING DEVICE IS RIGHT HERE IN THE LACES. 63 00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:39,489 THAT'S BRILLIANT, DR. BASCOMB. ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! 64 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:43,359 - OH, IT WAS NOTHING. - I AGREE WITH DR. BASCOMB. 65 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,829 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, MAX? - IT WAS NOTHING. 66 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:48,831 AFTER ALL, DR. BASCOMB IS A SCIENTIFIC GENIUS. 67 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,900 GIVE HIM AN ORDINARY BRAIN LIKE MINE, 68 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,569 AND HE WOULD'VE BEEN STUMPED TOO. 69 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,705 YOU CAN'T CONNECT ME TO THAT FOOTBALL. 70 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,408 EVEN IF IT IS MICROWIRE, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO PROVE I HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT. 71 00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,344 YOU'RE WRONG, MR. TUDBURY. 72 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:04,380 THAT LITTLE MAN IN THE FOOTBALL SUIT WAS A KNOWN KAOS AGENT, 73 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,583 AND WE HAVE A WITNESS TO PROVE IT. 74 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:09,485 A WITNESS? GEE, THAT'S GREAT, 99. WHO IS IT? 75 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:13,122 - IT'S YOU, MAX. - OH, OF COURSE. THAT'S RIGHT. 76 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,492 WELL, TUDBURY, WHEN I TESTIFY IN COURT, 77 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,728 YOU'RE GOING AWAY FOR A LONG LONG TIME. 78 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,198 IN THE MEANTIME, YOU'LL BE KEPT RIGHT HERE IN CUSTODY UNTIL THE TRIAL. 79 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,301 I SEE. 80 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:27,770 IF I AM IN CUSTODY, I'M ENTITLED TO ONE PHONE CALL, AM I NOT? 81 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,594 YES, YOU ARE. THAT'S THE LAW. 82 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:39,783 HELLO. THIS IS TUDBURY. 83 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:43,519 CONTROL HAS ME IN CUSTODY. NOW THIS IS AN ORDER. 84 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:46,523 GET SMART! DESTROY HIM! 85 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,758 KILL HIM! MURDER HIM! 86 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:52,228 - HE'S CALLING KAOS. - HE MUST NOT LIVE TO TESTIFY! 87 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:56,166 - OOH! - LARRABEE, GET IN HERE RIGHT AWAY. 88 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,967 YES, SIR? 89 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,036 LARRABEE, WE'D BETTER TAKE HIM OUT 90 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,071 AND TURN HIM OVER TO SECURITY. 91 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,296 RIGHT, DR. BASCOMB. 92 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:10,747 99, DID YOU HEAR WHAT TUDBURY SAID? I'M IN A LOT OF DANGER. 93 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:13,415 DON'T WORRY, MAX. HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO. 94 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:16,485 NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY. WE'VE GOT TO KEEP YOU OUT OF SIGHT 95 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,888 FOR TWO WEEKS, UNTIL AFTER THE TUDBURY TRIAL. 96 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:21,657 WE'LL PRETEND TO KEEP YOU HERE IN CONTROL HEADQUARTERS. 97 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:24,861 ACTUALLY, WE'LL TAKE YOU ON A HELICOPTER TO HIDEOUT "B," 98 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,663 WHICH IS THE PENTHOUSE SUITE IN THE WARFIELD HOTEL. 99 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:31,067 THEN WE TAKE YOU DOWN AN EXPRESS ELEVATOR TO HIDEOUT "C," 100 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,435 WHICH IS THE BASEMENT SUITE IN THE WARFIELD HOTEL. 101 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:36,338 THEN WE'LL TAKE YOU OUT THE BACK WAY, UP THE FIRE ESCAPE 102 00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:39,575 TO HIDEOUT "D," WHICH IS A SHACK ON TOP OF THE WARFIELD HOTEL. 103 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,677 - HAVE YOU GOT THAT? - NOT ALL OF IT, 99. 104 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:44,781 - WHAT PART DIDN'T YOU GET? - THE PART AFTER "LISTEN CAREFULLY." 105 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,783 DON'T WORRY, MAX. I'LL TAKE YOU THERE MYSELF. 106 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,418 BELIEVE ME, KAOS WILL NEVER NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. 107 00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:51,854 I WOULDN'T BE TOO SURE OF THAT, 99. 108 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,523 HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY KNOW? 109 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,993 I FORGOT TO HANG UP THE TELEPHONE. 110 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,150 THEY'RE STILL ON THE OTHER END. 111 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,453 SO LONG, FELLAS. 112 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,571 MAX, WITH THE DEVICES I'VE INSTALLED, 113 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:12,474 YOUR APARTMENT IS THE SAFEST POSSIBLE PLACE. 114 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,510 BASCOMB, I DON'T LIKE IT. 115 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:18,214 I JUST DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING COOPED UP IN HERE ALL THE TIME. 116 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,416 BUT, MAX, YOUR LIFE IS AT STAKE. 117 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,919 KAOS WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO KILL YOU. 118 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,021 IT'S ONLY TWO WEEKS UNTIL THE TRIAL. 119 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,490 THAT'S GREAT. I WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY BONGOS AT A LOVE-IN THIS SUNDAY. 120 00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:31,594 - OH, MAX. - OH, ALL RIGHT. 121 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,730 NOW LET ME SHOW YOU HOW EVERYTHING WORKS. 122 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:38,367 FIRST WE HAVE THE CUBE OF SAFETY. 123 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,803 ONCE INSIDE, YOU'LL BE COMPLETELY PROTECTED 124 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:43,572 FROM ANY POSSIBLE DESTRUCTIVE FORCE. 125 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:53,516 NOW IF YOU'LL ALL JUST STEP INSIDE HERE FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION, 126 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,207 I'LL SHOW YOU MY SECOND DEVICE. 127 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:10,032 THERE. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, SMART? 128 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,135 YES, BASCOMB, BUT FROM NOW ON, 129 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,037 I THINK WE SHOULD BE ON A FIRST-NAME BASIS. 130 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,540 THE ENTIRE LIVING ROOM IS CRISSCROSSED 131 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,642 WITH A NETWORK OF LASER BEAMS. 132 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,044 WITH THIS CONTROL KNOB, I CAN DISINTEGRATE 133 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,113 ANYTHING WITHIN THE ROOM. 134 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,915 WATCH THE LEFT SIDE OF THAT WALL. 135 00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:30,809 AS A DEMONSTRATION, I'LL JUST TURN THIS KNOB SLIGHTLY. 136 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:35,158 THANKS A LOT, DOC. 137 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,493 YOU'VE JUST DESTROYED MY FIRST PAIR OF BABY SHOES 138 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:41,019 AND MY 1965 "SPY OF THE YEAR" AWARD. 139 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,603 NOW REMEMBER, MAX, THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY. 140 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:50,272 WHAT ABOUT HIS BEDROOM, DOCTOR? HOW'S THAT PROTECTED? 141 00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:52,563 SIMPLE. FOLLOW ME. 142 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,979 NOW, SMART, YOU JUST PRESS THIS BUTTON, 143 00:08:57,003 --> 00:09:00,216 AND ANYONE TRYING TO WALK UP THOSE STAIRS LEADING TO THE BEDROOM 144 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,185 WILL BE COMPLETELY DISINTEGRATED. 145 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,219 THE BEAMS ALSO CAN BE ACTIVATED 146 00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:06,789 BY A SIMILAR BUTTON INSIDE THE BEDROOM. 147 00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,925 NOW JUST A MINUTE, BASCOMB. 148 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:11,861 SUPPOSING I GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND I HAVE TO GO... 149 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,829 WASH OUT A PAIR OF SOCKS OR SOMETHING. 150 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,999 I COME DOWN THOSE STAIRS AND PFTT! I'M DISINTEGRATED. 151 00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:20,469 Woman: MR. SMART? 152 00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:23,372 MR. SMART, I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION. 153 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,140 JUST A MINUTE, MRS. MACKLIN. 154 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:27,176 I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET TWO COLLEAGUES OF MINE 155 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,679 WHO WORK WITH ME AT THE GREETING-CARD COMPANY. 156 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,915 THIS IS MISS PRIMROSE, WHO TAKES CARE OF OUR EASTER GREETINGS, 157 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,651 AND THIS IS MR. PEPPERFEATHERS, WHO'S IN CHARGE 158 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:38,754 OF BIRTHS AND BEREAVEMENTS. 159 00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,190 WHAT IS IT YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT, MRS. MACKLIN? 160 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,793 MR. SMART, I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION. 161 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,562 ALL DAY TODAY THERE WERE PEOPLE RUNNING ALL OVER THE BUILDING... 162 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,665 UP ON THE ROOF AND DOWN IN THE BASEMENT. 163 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:52,034 AND IT ALL SEEMS TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR APARTMENT. 164 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,370 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 165 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:57,773 UH, YES. WELL, I GUESS CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER. 166 00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:01,711 YOU SEE, MRS. MACKLIN, I'VE JUST BEEN WIRED FOR THE NIELSEN RATINGS. 167 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,814 I REPRESENT THE ENTIRE EAST-COAST- 168 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,216 MIDDLE-INCOME-BACHELOR GROUP. 169 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,252 I'M WARNING YOU, MR. SMART, 170 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,121 I WON'T STAND FOR ANY MORE NONSENSE! 171 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:15,780 NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'LL GO AND CHANGE YOUR LINEN. 172 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:20,552 - MAX, THE LASER BEAM! - OH! 173 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:29,271 WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 174 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,664 I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE. LOOK AT THAT. 175 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:38,714 I TURNED IT OFF WHEN SHE CAME IN THE ROOM. 176 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,783 I'M WARNING YOU. I'M ABOUT FED UP 177 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,218 AND I'M NOT GOING TO STAND FOR ANY MORE TROUBLE. 178 00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,254 DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? NO MORE! 179 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,912 NO MORE! NO MORE! 180 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,896 POOR MRS. MACKLIN. 181 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,620 SHE NEEDS A FELLA. THAT'S HER PROBLEM. 182 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,873 BUT, 99, YOU CAN'T STAY HERE ALL NIGHT. 183 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,875 OH, MAX, WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER. 184 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,277 I WANT TO FEEL THAT YOU'RE SAFE. 185 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:11,147 BUT YOU'RE A GIRL! WHAT IF MY MOTHER WALKED IN? 186 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,482 SHE JUST GOT USED TO SEEING ME IN LONG PANTS. 187 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,484 OH, MAX, IT'S MY JOB. 188 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,587 JUST THINK OF ME AS ANY OTHER AGENT, LIKE FRED BROWN. 189 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,323 IF HE WERE HERE, IT WOULDN'T EMBARRASS YOU, WOULD IT? 190 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,993 OKAY, 99. OKAY. 191 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,262 I'M NOT GONNA THROW YOU OUT. YOU CAN STAY. 192 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,998 BUT I'LL TELL YOU THIS MUCH... I THINK IT'S A ROTTEN IDEA. 193 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,923 - GOOD NIGHT, MAX. - GOOD NIGHT, FRED. 194 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:37,773 Max, be sure to activate your laser protector before you go to bed. 195 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:40,743 - RIGHT, 99. - And would you please hang your jacket somewhere else? 196 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,301 - I can't see you. - OH, SURE. 197 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:49,152 - 99, WHERE ARE YOU? - I'm in the living room. 198 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:51,687 I'm watching you on closed-circuit TV. 199 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,246 Dr. Bascomb hooked it up so I could keep an eye on you at all times. 200 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,961 UH, WELL, WHERE'S THE CAMERA? 201 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,186 Right in the picture. 202 00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:08,259 - CLOSED-CIRCUIT TV, HUH? - Yeah. I can see everything you do. 203 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:13,443 NOW JUST A MINUTE, 99. THAT'S GOING A LITTLE BIT TOO FAR. 204 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:17,313 I MEAN YOU'RE INVADING MY PRIVACY, TO SAY NOTHING OF MY MODESTY. 205 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,682 Max, I've seen your Adam's apple before. 206 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,684 Besides, Max, it's cute. 207 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:24,387 THIS IS RIDICULOUS, 99. THERE'S NO NEED TO HAVE TO COME 208 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,689 RIGHT INTO MY BEDROOM AND WATCH EVERYTHING I DO. 209 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:30,059 THE NEXT THING I KNOW, YOU'LL BE TELLING ME THERE'S A KAOS AGENT UNDER MY BED. 210 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,417 Did you look, Max? 211 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:41,459 WOULD YOU BELIEVE TWO KAOS AGENTS? 212 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,672 MAX! 213 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,941 IT WORKED JUST LIKE DR. BASCOMB SAID IT WOULD. 214 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,344 IT DISINTEGRATED EVERYTHING! 215 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,345 99, IT'S HORRIBLE. 216 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:26,081 I WOULDN'T WASTE ANY SYMPATHY ON THOSE AGENTS, MAX. 217 00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:29,117 - THEY WERE GONNA KILL YOU. - I WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT THEM. 218 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:33,010 IT'S JUST THAT I RENTED THIS APARTMENT... FURNISHED. 219 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,725 AND IT'S GONNA BE PRETTY DIFFICULT TO FURNISH 220 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,749 AROUND THIS PIECE OF CARPET. 221 00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,400 MAX, WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 222 00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:47,903 - WHY AREN'T YOU IN YOUR APARTMENT? - I WAS EVICTED. 223 00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:50,205 - EVICTED, WHY? - I DISINTEGRATED MY LEASE. 224 00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,641 YOU TOOK A TERRIBLE CHANCE GOING OUT IN THE STREET. 225 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,443 WHAT IF YOU WERE SEEN BY KAOS AGENTS? 226 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,612 I WAS. HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT LIKE THIS? 227 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,681 THEY SHOT AT ME TWICE, TRIED TO STAB ME 228 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,683 AND RUN ME OVER WITH A VEGETABLE TRUCK. 229 00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:03,552 - THE TOWN'S SWARMING WITH KAOS AGENTS. - DON'T WORRY. 230 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,856 THEY WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE. AND DON'T TELL ME THEY WANT ME DEAD. 231 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,858 THEY WANT YOU DEAD, MAX. 232 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,893 I ASKED YOU NOT TO TELL ME THAT. 233 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,729 MAX, WE'VE GOT TO FIND A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU TO STAY. 234 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,832 DR. BASCOMB, YOU HAVE A LITTLE PLACE HERE IN TOWN, HAVEN'T YOU? 235 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:20,035 - AT THE KIMBERLEY ARMS. - THAT'S RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE COURTHOUSE. 236 00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,237 THAT'S A PERFECT PLACE FOR MAX TO HIDE. 237 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:25,975 AND I'LL BET IT'S EQUIPPED WITH ALL THOSE SPECIAL SAFETY DEVICES OF YOURS TOO. 238 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:29,645 - NO, THEY'RE TOO DANGEROUS. - EVEN SO, NO ONE WOULD THINK OF FINDING MAX THERE. 239 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,047 I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT I'M USED TO LIVING ALONE, 240 00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:34,850 AND HAVING TO SPEND TWO WEEKS WITH HIM... 241 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,120 IT'S OBVIOUS, DR. BASCOMB, THAT YOU DON'T WANT ME TO STAY WITH YOU. 242 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:41,390 PLEASE, DR. BASCOMB, IT'S THE ONLY POSSIBLE PLACE FOR MAX TO STAY. 243 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,660 ALL RIGHT, MAX. WILL YOU STAY WITH ME? 244 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:48,230 THAT'S THE MOST HALFHEARTED INVITATION I'VE EVER HAD. 245 00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:50,599 FEAR TELLS ME I SHOULD ACCEPT, 246 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,524 BUT PRIDE TELLS ME I SHOULD REFUSE. 247 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,867 I ACCEPT. 248 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,819 138... 249 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,788 MAX, I'M TRYING TO GO TO SLEEP. 250 00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:17,058 WOULD YOU MIND COUNTING TO YOURSELF, PLEASE? 251 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:20,162 RIGHT. 252 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,237 OH, THAT FEELS GOOD. 253 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:32,107 MAX, WOULD YOU GRUNT TO YOURSELF? 254 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:35,244 I'VE HAD A VERY ROUGH DAY. I'VE GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP. 255 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,446 VERY WELL. I'M FINISHED ANYWAY. 256 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,615 - I'M READY FOR BED. - GOOD. 257 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,486 MAX! 258 00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:08,911 MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 259 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,013 I'M FLUFFING MY PILLOW. 260 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:14,183 I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT A FLUFFED PILLOW. 261 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,652 MAX, WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 262 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:34,003 BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT WHEN YOU ELEVATE YOUR FEET, 263 00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,305 THE BLOOD RUSHES TO YOUR BRAINS. 264 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,596 THAT WAY YOU HAVE MORE INTELLIGENT DREAMS. 265 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,777 ALL RIGHT. 266 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,535 ALL RIGHT. JUST TURN OFF THE LIGHT. 267 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,851 - WHAT? - TURN OFF THE LIGHT. 268 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:52,054 AND SLEEP IN THE DARK? OH, I COULDN'T DO THAT. 269 00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,123 WHY NOT? 270 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:56,125 THE GOLLYWOGGLES MIGHT GET ME. 271 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,881 OH. 272 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,763 MAX, I'VE HAD IT. NOW LOOK, MAKE YOUR CHOICE: 273 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,999 EITHER YOU SLEEP IN HERE WITH THE LIGHT OFF, 274 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,101 OR YOU GO IN THE WORKROOM ON THE BENCH. 275 00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,203 OKAY, 276 00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:11,140 BUT I DON'T SEE MUCH FUTURE FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP. 277 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:15,032 IT'S ONLY OUR FIRST NIGHT, AND ALREADY I'M SLEEPING IN THE OTHER ROOM. 278 00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:29,291 IF THERE'S ANYTHING I'M MORE AFRAID OF THAN GOLLYWOGGLES, 279 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,248 IT'S LIGHTNING. 280 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:40,591 BASCOMB, TRY NOT TO BREAK THE YOLKS THIS TIME, WILL YOU? 281 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,210 AND THIS TOAST IS TERRIBLE. 282 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,968 DON'T LET IT GET COLD BEFORE YOU BUTTER IT. 283 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,252 THAT COFFEE TASTES TERRIBLE! IT'S STALE! 284 00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:59,822 WELL, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD REHEATED. 285 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,924 NOT 10 DAYS IN A ROW. 286 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,927 MAX, YOU'RE NOT THE EASIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD TO LIVE WITH. 287 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:08,163 THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS TRY TO SAY SOMETHING NICE ONCE IN A WHILE. 288 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:11,766 AFTER ALL, I DO WORK MY FINGERS TO THE BONE AROUND HERE. 289 00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:14,403 I'M SORRY, BASCOMB. 290 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,706 IT'S JUST, WELL, I'M A LITTLE UPSET TODAY. 291 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,642 YOU KNOW YOU DIDN'T COME HOME UNTIL 2:00 THIS MORNING. 292 00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:25,647 - I WAS WORKING AT THE LAB. - I WAITED UP FOR YOU. 293 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:28,317 I'M SORRY, MAX. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. 294 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:32,187 - YOU COULD'VE CALLED. - WELL, I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU UP. 295 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,922 HUH! WAKE ME UP. 296 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,725 I WAS LYING THERE ALL NIGHT, STARING AT THE CEILING. 297 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:40,462 MAX, MAX, YOU'VE GOT TO GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF. 298 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,265 YOU'VE BEEN COOPED UP TOO LONG, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. 299 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,433 LOOK, IT'S ONLY THREE DAYS UNTIL THE TRIAL, 300 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:48,703 THEN YOU'LL BE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND GO WHEREVER YOU PLEASE. 301 00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:51,306 COULD WE GO TO A MOVIE? 302 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:54,042 ANYTHING, ONLY STOP COMPLAINING. 303 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,878 YOU KNOW, EVERY MORNING IT'S BEEN THE SAME THING... 304 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,448 COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN. 305 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,439 NOW HERE, EAT YOUR EGGS. 306 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,746 YOU BROKE THE YOLKS AGAIN. 307 00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:46,528 - HELLO. - MAX, WE'RE IN A COURTHOUSE OFFICE 308 00:19:46,552 --> 00:19:48,797 RIGHT ACROSS FROM DR. BASCOMB'S APARTMENT. 309 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,499 NOW THE TRIAL BEGINS IN A HALF HOUR. 310 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,568 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET ACROSS THE STREET. 311 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:55,704 NO PROBLEM, 99. THERE'S A CROSSWALK THERE AND EVERYTHING. 312 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:59,308 MAX, KAOS IS BOUND TO TRY TO KILL YOU BEFORE YOU REACH THE COURTHOUSE. 313 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:03,244 THIS IS THEIR LAST CHANCE. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'LL NEED IN THE WAY OF PROTECTION? 314 00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,914 ARE YOU KIDDING? JUST TO GO ACROSS THE STREET? 315 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:10,318 THOSE LAST 90 FEET ARE GOING TO BE THE MOST DANGEROUS OF YOUR LIFE, MAX. 316 00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:13,188 DR. BASCOMB SUGGESTS FOUR MEN AND AN ARMORED CAR. 317 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,758 NO NO, 99. 318 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:19,295 THAT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF THING KAOS IS EXPECTING. 319 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,830 I'M BETTER OFF JUST CROSSING THE STREET BY MYSELF 320 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,566 USING NOTHING BUT MY WITS. 321 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:28,625 - ARE YOU SURE? - POSITIVE. 322 00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:32,407 HE SAYS HE WANTS TO GET ACROSS THE STREET HIMSELF 323 00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,342 USING ONLY HIS WITS. 324 00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:37,034 I HATE TO SEE HIM GO SO UNPROTECTED. 325 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:51,960 BOY, THAT WAS CLOSE, OFFICER. I ALMOST GOT KILLED. 326 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,862 NATURALLY. YOU WERE JAYWALKING. 327 00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:56,298 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE YOU A TICKET FOR THAT. 328 00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:59,768 - BUT THEY WERE SHOOTING AT ME. - THAT'S HOMICIDE. I'M TRAFFIC. 329 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,771 - NAME, PLEASE? - UH, MAXWELL SMART, 330 00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:05,307 SECRET AGENT 86... OF CONTROL. 331 00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:08,176 OH, TRYING TO USE INFLUENCE, EH? 332 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,413 UNCOOPERATIVE. 333 00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,782 - THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME. - PROBABLY. 334 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,772 SIGN HERE, PLEASE. 335 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,522 NOW YOU CROSSED THE STREET ILLEGALLY. 336 00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:22,827 NOW GO BACK AND CROSS LEGALLY. 337 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,350 - BUT... - GET GOING, BUDDY! 338 00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,045 HELLO, CAB COMPANY? 339 00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:46,403 I'VE GOT A LITTLE JOB FOR YOU. 340 00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:19,703 HELLO, HONEY. 341 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:41,236 MAX, WE'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU TRY TO GET ACROSS THE STREET. 342 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,571 YOU CAN'T DO IT YOURSELF. YOU NEED HELP. 343 00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:46,908 WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, 99. YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS? 344 00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:48,977 DR. BASCOMB HAS A PLAN. 345 00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:51,113 IT'S A LITTLE BIT WILD, BUT IT MIGHT WORK. 346 00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:54,115 OKAY, SHOOT, 99. 347 00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:58,120 - WAS THAT YOU? - NO, MAX, THAT WAS KAOS. 348 00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:01,890 YOU GO UP TO THE ROOF AND WE'LL SHOOT YOU A LINE. 349 00:23:01,914 --> 00:23:05,727 YOU SECURE YOUR END AND THEN JUST SLIDE DOWN THE WIRE INTO THE COURTHOUSE. 350 00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:07,963 OH, JUST LIKE A SKI LIFT, EH? 351 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:09,920 HEY, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 352 00:23:16,795 --> 00:23:18,462 HERE HE COMES, DOCTOR! 353 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:22,065 THEY'VE HIT HIM, DOCTOR! THEY'VE HIT HIM! 354 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:28,016 - MAX! - THIS IS HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE! 355 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,018 OH, MAX! 356 00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:32,042 NO! 357 00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:42,397 MAX! OH, LOOK WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO HIM! 358 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,499 MAX, SPEAK TO ME! 359 00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:46,968 HE WAS ONE OF THE BRAVEST AGENTS WE'VE EVER HAD. 360 00:23:46,992 --> 00:23:49,938 HE'S CERTAINLY SHOWED US WHAT HE WAS MADE OF. 361 00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:53,441 YES, DOCTOR... RAGS! RAGS! 362 00:23:53,465 --> 00:23:56,044 - WHAT? - RAGS! HE'S FILLED WITH RAGS! 363 00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:58,046 THIS ISN'T MAX! IT'S A DUMMY! 364 00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,916 WELL, LET'S NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. 365 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:04,274 THEN THAT MEANS MAX IS STILL ACROSS THE STREET, RIGHT? 366 00:24:06,178 --> 00:24:08,256 WRONG. 367 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,792 I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE IT, 99, AND I DID. 368 00:24:10,816 --> 00:24:12,694 WHILE THEY WERE SHOOTING AT THE DUMMY, 369 00:24:12,718 --> 00:24:14,630 I JUST CASUALLY WALKED ACROSS THE STREET. 370 00:24:14,654 --> 00:24:18,433 OH, MAX, YOU DID IT. YOU OUTSMARTED KAOS. 371 00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,869 YES, WELL, 99, THEY'RE REALLY NOT TOO BRIGHT. 372 00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:23,160 THEY SHOT THE WRONG DUMMY. 29939

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