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00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:06,816
Man: Bienvenidos,
señors y señoras,
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00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,520
and welcome to the glorious
democracy of San Saludos.
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00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:13,223
Each and every one of
you is the personal guest
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00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,392
of our benevolent
and beloved leader,
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00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,727
General Diablo Pajarito,
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00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:20,697
Commander of the Armed
Forces, President of the Senate,
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00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:23,566
Chief Justice of
the Supreme Court,
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00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,568
and Finance Minister.
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00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:29,306
General Pajarito feels
sure you will enjoy your stay
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00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:33,643
in the friendly and prosperous
country of San Saludos.
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00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,147
YOUR RETURN VISA
EXPIRED 30 MINUTES AGO.
12
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,691
TAKE THIS DOG OUT
AND HAVE HIM SHOT.
13
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,286
MAX! THEY'RE GONNA
SHOOT THAT OLD MAN!
14
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:46,689
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, 99.
THIS IS A CIVILIZED COUNTRY.
15
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,459
FIRST OF ALL, HE'LL HAVE A
TRIAL BY A JURY OF HIS PEERS;
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00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,962
THE RIGHT OF APPEAL;
TRANSFERAL TO A HIGHER COURT;
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00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:54,530
AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS, A
PERSONAL PLEA FOR CLEMENCY
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00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,532
TO GENERAL PAJARITO.
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00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,704
OF COURSE, HERE ALL THAT
HAPPENS AFTER THE MAN IS SHOT.
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00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,974
MAX, SINCE GENERAL PAJARITO
TOOK OVER THIS COUNTRY,
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00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:05,675
IT'S A VERY DANGEROUS PLACE.
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00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,044
WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT, 99.
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00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,602
WE'RE NOT CITIZENS.
WE'RE JUST SPIES.
24
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:17,309
EVERYTHING IS IN ORDER.
HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE?
25
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:23,459
THAT'S JUST ENOUGH FOR 10
TICKETS TO THE NATIONAL LOTTERY.
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00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,843
MY STAMP. MY VISA STAMP.
27
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,435
YOU FORGOT TO INK THE STAMP.
28
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,793
TAKE THIS DOG AWAY!
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00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:38,174
MAX, THEY'RE GONNA
SHOOT HIM TOO!
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00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:41,011
NOT HIM, 99. AFTER ALL,
HE'S A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL.
31
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:44,014
PROBABLY THE WORST THING
THEY'LL DO IS GIVE HIM A WARNING.
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00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:50,208
THIS IS SOME DEMOCRACY. THEY
CERTAINLY DON'T PLAY ANY FAVORITES.
33
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,712
SENOR, SENORITA. POR FAVOR.
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00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,721
EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.
35
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,774
MAX, WHY DIDN'T HE STAMP
OUR PASSPORTS HERE?
36
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,776
DO YOU THINK HE
SUSPECTS SOMETHING?
37
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,144
WHAT IF HE FINDS THOSE ESCAPE
DEVICES IN OUR SUITCASES?
38
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,146
I THOUGHT OF THAT, 99.
39
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,582
THESE FELLOWS ALWAYS LOOK
FOR FALSE BOTTOMS IN A SUITCASE.
40
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:23,675
I PUT OUR ESCAPE BALLOONS
IN A FALSE TOP. IT'S FOOLPROOF.
41
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,093
YOU SEE, THE LEFT SNAP
ACTIVATES THE BALLOON MECHANISM.
42
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,455
EVERYTHING IS IN ORDER.
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00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,891
WE HOPE THAT YOU HAVE
A MOST PLEASANT STAY
44
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,227
IN OUR GLORIOUS REPUBLIC.
45
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,065
GENERAL PAJARITO.
46
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:12,869
GENERAL PAJARITO. MIGUEL, SIR.
47
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:17,340
CONTROL AGENTS 86 AND 99 HAVE
JUST PASSED THROUGH CUSTOMS.
48
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,476
- WELL, KILL THEM.
- SI.
49
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,211
OF COURSE, MAKE IT
LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.
50
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,814
We don't want to give
San Saludos a bad name.
51
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:27,450
THESE CONTROL
AGENTS NEVER LEARN.
52
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,653
SAN SALUDOS IS A
WONDERFUL PLACE TO VISIT,
53
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,556
BUT NOBODY LIVES HERE...
54
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,480
SI.
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00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:40,085
FOR LONG.
56
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:03,246
WE HAVE ARRIVED, SENOR Y
SENORITA, AT YOUR DESTINATION.
57
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,548
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE TRIP.
58
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:08,884
THERE IS THE GENERAL
PAJARITO HOTEL,
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00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,886
RIGHT IN THE HEART
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00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:14,056
OF THE GENERAL PAJARITO PLAZA.
61
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,859
YES, AND I SUPPOSE
THAT YOU DRIVE THIS TAXI
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00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:19,362
FOR THE GENERAL
PAJARITO CAB COMPANY.
63
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:21,664
OH, NO, SENOR.
64
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,699
I LEASE FROM HIM.
65
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:26,691
HE IS NUMBER ONE, AND
NOBODY DARES TO TRY HARDER.
66
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:31,641
THAT WILL BE 800 PESOS, PLEASE.
67
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,744
- LISTEN, I'D LIKE TO
ASK YOU JUST ONE QUESTION.
- SI.
68
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,446
WE CAME HERE BECAUSE WE
WANTED TO GO TO THIS HOTEL.
69
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:40,149
YOU CAME ALONG BECAUSE
YOU HAD TO TAKE US.
70
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,653
BUT WHAT DID WE HAVE
TO BRING THE DONKEY FOR?
71
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:46,122
I'M SORRY. I WILL WAIT FOR YOU.
72
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,313
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
73
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,535
WHAT WAS THAT, MAX?
74
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,537
THE FIRING SQUAD AGAIN.
75
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:05,463
I'VE HEARD OF A POPULATION
EXPLOSION, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
76
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,634
- THAT'S YOUR ROOM, 99.
- RIGHT, MAX.
77
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:33,335
- WHAT WAS THAT, MAX?
- A TABLE.
78
00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:36,795
THE GUEST THAT HAD THIS ROOM
BEFORE US MUST'VE BEEN A TERMITE.
79
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,689
MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
80
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:56,447
I'M STANDING IN THE DRESSER
DRAWER, PUTTING AWAY MY SHIRTS.
81
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:01,197
99, I DON'T LIKE
THIS ASSIGNMENT.
82
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,199
THE CHIEF DIDN'T GIVE
US ENOUGH INFORMATION.
83
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,935
- LET'S REVIEW
OUR INSTRUCTIONS.
- RIGHT.
84
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:09,005
ONE... DONA ISABELLA,
DAUGHTER OF DON CARLOS,
85
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,307
FORMER PRESIDENT OF SAN SALUDOS,
86
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:15,144
SENT A MESSAGE TO CONTROL SAYING
THAT HER FATHER WAS STILL ALIVE;
87
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,847
TWO... WE KNOW THAT
HE'S BEING HELD PRISONER
88
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,316
BY GENERAL PAJARITO,
BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHERE;
89
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,952
THREE... WE HAVE TO RESCUE
HIM, BUT WE DON'T KNOW HOW.
90
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,881
- WHO IS IT?
- ROOM SERVICE.
91
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:36,032
I DIDN'T ORDER ANY ROOM SERVICE.
92
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:40,136
- RICARDO MONTALBAN
HATES TORTILLAS.
- RIGHT.
93
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,106
I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM
YOUR MAN IN SAN SALUDOS.
94
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,175
HIS NAME IS LOPEZ. YOU WILL
FIND HIM SELLING TORTILLAS
95
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,311
IN THE GENERAL PAJARITO
PLAZA NUMBER SIX.
96
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:53,750
RIGHT. LOPEZ, PAJARITO
SQUARE, NUMBER SIX.
97
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,152
PLEASE, THIS IS FOR THE
ROOM ACROSS THE HALL.
98
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,109
BE CAREFUL.
99
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,490
99?
100
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:04,526
- WHO WAS THAT, MAX?
- THAT WAS OUR CONTACT MAN.
101
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:08,119
- HE SAYS THAT WE'RE TO GET
IN TOUCH WITH A LOPEZ AT...
- MAX, LOOK!
102
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:20,442
99, THERE'S SOMETHING VERY
STRANGE GOING ON AROUND HERE.
103
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:22,678
NOW THIS IS JUST A
WILD GUESS, MIND YOU,
104
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:25,547
BUT I HAVE A FEELING
SOMEONE IS ONTO US.
105
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:28,550
- LOPEZ?
- PERHAPS.
106
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,886
GIVE HIM THE PASSWORD, MAX.
107
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:35,224
HERB ALPERT TAKES TRUMPET
LESSONS FROM GUY LOMBARDO.
108
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,459
I AM LOPEZ.
109
00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:40,629
- DO YOU HAVE ANY
INFORMATION FOR US?
- SI.
110
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,665
YOU MUST EAT THIS TACO.
111
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:46,049
THE SOLDIERS ACROSS
THE SQUARE ARE WATCHING.
112
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,513
SENOR, YOU ARE
GIVING YOURSELF AWAY.
113
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,650
NOBODY EATS TACOS LIKE THAT.
114
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:04,042
YOU MUST HAVE HOT SAUCE ON IT.
115
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,091
WHERE'S DON CARLOS BEING KEPT?
116
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:12,394
GENERAL PAJARITO HAS
OUR BELOVED EX-PRESIDENT
117
00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:14,764
DON CARLOS
PRISONER IN A DUNGEON.
118
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,066
- HOW CAN WE REACH HIM?
- I WILL HELP YOU.
119
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:20,202
DO YOU HAVE YOUR ESCAPE
MECHANISM WITH YOU?
120
00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:25,007
MINE'S BURIED ON THE OUTSKIRTS
OF TOWN, AS PER OUR INSTRUCTIONS.
121
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:28,510
GOOD GOOD. YOU MUST
RESCUE DON CARLOS
122
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:31,113
BEFORE 4:00.
123
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:34,305
PERHAPS YOU WOULD
LIKE TO ASK ME WHY.
124
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,687
WHY?
125
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:40,355
AT 4:00 THIS
AFTERNOON IN THE PLAZA,
126
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,424
THERE IS GOING TO BE A FIESTA.
127
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:45,427
CONCHITA AND CONCHATA,
THE FLAMENCO DANCE TEAM,
128
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:47,429
IS TO PERFORM THERE.
129
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:49,531
WHAT HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH US?
130
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,834
YOU ARE TO TAKE THEIR PLACE.
131
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,903
THE GENERAL KNOWS YOU ARE HERE.
132
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,038
WE FIGURED THAT. HE
TRIED TO HAVE US KILLED.
133
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:58,040
HOW DO WE FIND
CONCHITA AND CONCHATA?
134
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:00,509
THEY HAVE THE ROOM ACROSS
FROM YOURS IN THE HOTEL.
135
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:04,379
YOU WILL DISGUISE YOURSELVES AND
YOU WILL GET INTO THEIR COSTUMES,
136
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:07,850
AND THAT WAY YOU WILL GET INTO
THE PALACE WITHOUT ANY TROUBLE.
137
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,186
- THAT'S A BRILLIANT PLAN!
- BUT...
138
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,188
YOU MUST BE CAREFUL.
139
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,523
YOU MUST BE AWAY BY 4:00.
140
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,993
IF THEY MAKE YOU DANCE, THEY
WILL FIND OUT YOU ARE IMPOSTORS.
141
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:20,596
THEN HE WILL CUT YOUR THROAT!
142
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,598
GOOD.
143
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,268
THAT WAY, A LITTLE
COOL AIR WILL GET IN.
144
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,714
MAX, THEY'RE DEAD!
145
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:41,098
THAT SEEMS TO BE THE
NATIONAL PASTIME AROUND HERE.
146
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,121
99, THAT LEMONADE WAS POISONED.
147
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,123
COME ON, MAX.
THERE'S NOT MUCH TIME.
148
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:50,059
WE'VE GOT TO GET INTO CONCHITA AND
CONCHATA'S COSTUMES AND FIND DON CARLOS.
149
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,162
YES. NOW LET'S SEE. I'LL NEED A
MUSTACHE FROM MY MAKEUP KIT,
150
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,198
BUT THESE COSTUMES
WILL BE PERFECT.
151
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,633
NOBODY WILL KNOW THAT WE'RE
WEARING THEM EXCEPT LOPEZ,
152
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,668
AND HE'LL NEVER TELL.
153
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:02,638
I'LL TELL, I'LL TELL.
154
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,841
TWO CONTROL AGENTS ARE GOING
TO THE FIESTA THIS AFTERNOON
155
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,543
DISGUISED AS CONCHITA
AND CONCHATA.
156
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:11,881
THAT IS HOW THEY PLAN
TO RESCUE DON CARLOS.
157
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,383
STUPID PLAN.
158
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:18,575
DID THEY THINK THEY COULD
OUTWIT GENERAL DIABLO PAJARITO?
159
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,326
I WILL LET THEM PLAY
THEIR LITTLE GAME,
160
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:28,752
BUT FIRST OF ALL, THEY WILL
DANCE FOR ME AT THE FIESTA...
161
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,190
A DANCE OF DEATH.
162
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:56,158
YOU LOOK UNHAPPY, DONA ISABELLA.
163
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:59,628
YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE IT
WHEN YOU LOOK UNHAPPY,
164
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,320
ESPECIALLY IN FRONT
OF MY BELOVED PEOPLE...
165
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,601
WHAT THERE IS LEFT OF THEM.
166
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:09,338
HOW CAN I BE HAPPY WHEN MY
FATHER LIES ROTTING IN YOUR DUNGEON?
167
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,630
I TOLD YOU HE WOULD BE RELEASED
AS SOON AS WE'RE MARRIED.
168
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,085
I HOPE THESE
DISGUISES WORK, MAX.
169
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:26,955
DON'T WORRY, 99. MY OWN
MOTHER WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE ME.
170
00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:29,592
OF COURSE, I'M NOT
EXPECTING MY MOTHER TODAY.
171
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:33,418
- YOU REALLY DO LOOK
MARVELOUS, MAX.
- I KNOW THAT, 99.
172
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:47,442
- HOLD IT, 99.
- MAX, WHAT ARE YOU
STOPPING FOR?
173
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:50,646
WE'VE GOT TO FIND THAT DUNGEON
AND GET DON CARLOS OUT OF HERE.
174
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:53,015
IF THERE'S ANYTHING I
LOVE, IT'S A JUGGLING ACT.
175
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:55,879
LOOK AT THAT GUY. HE'S TERRIFIC!
176
00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:00,144
Crowd: OHH!
177
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:03,748
SOLDIERS!
178
00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:20,475
THEY CERTAINLY HAVE A DRASTIC WAY
OF CANCELING AN ACT AROUND HERE.
179
00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,433
COME ON, 99.
180
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,481
GENERAL PAJARITO
WISHES TO SPEAK TO YOU.
181
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:29,317
YES, WELL, I'D BE VERY HAPPY
TO SPEAK TO THE GENERAL,
182
00:13:29,341 --> 00:13:33,188
BUT AT THE MOMENT... WE WERE ON
OUR WAY TO SPEAK TO THE GENERAL.
183
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,991
- MOVE.
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO NOW, MAX?
184
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,126
THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN
DO. WE'LL HAVE TO DANCE.
185
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:41,430
I CERTAINLY WISH I HAD WATCHED
A FEW CAESAR ROMERO MOVIES,
186
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,632
OR AT LEAST AN OLD
CASTRO NEWSREEL.
187
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,590
MOVE!
188
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:53,308
CONCHITA Y CONCHATA,
I AM GENERAL PAJARITO.
189
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:56,411
THIS IS MY FIANCEE,
DONA ISABELLA.
190
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:58,581
I AM LOOKING FORWARD
TO YOUR DANCING.
191
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:02,317
UH, DANCING, YES. YOU SEE, GENERAL,
I HAVE THIS INGROWN TOENAIL...
192
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,820
DISMISSED. COMMENCE!
193
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,411
MUSICA.
194
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:12,327
SENORS, SENORAS Y SENORITAS,
195
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,630
WE ARE VERY HAPPY
TO BRING YOU NOW
196
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:17,099
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN SAN SALUDOS,
197
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:21,536
THE FAMOUS DANCE TEAM
OF CONCHITA AND CONCHATA!
198
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,105
MAX, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING? YOU CAN'T DANCE!
199
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,106
ARE YOU KIDDING? THEY LOVE ME.
200
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,776
! OLE, OLE!
201
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,112
FOUR HORSES! BRING THEM IN!
202
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:40,137
- WHAT DID THEY SAY?
- THEY'RE BRINGING IN
THE FOUR HORSES.
203
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,755
LEAP! LEAP!
204
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,057
DO YOUR FAMOUS LEAP!
205
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:52,728
- WHAT ARE THEY SAYING, MAX?
- HE LIKES ME. HE LIKES ME A HEAP.
206
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:55,631
! SILENCIO!
207
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,988
! SILENCIO! STOP THE MUSIC!
208
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:03,372
SENOR CONCHATA, DO YOUR LEAP.
209
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:07,376
- WHAT LEAP?
- THE FAMOUS LEAP
OVER THE FOUR HORSES.
210
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,145
OH, THAT LEAP.
211
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,614
HE WANTS ME TO LEAP
OVER THOSE FOUR HORSES.
212
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:16,452
- MAX, YOU CAN'T LEAP
OVER FOUR HORSES.
- I KNOW THAT, BUT THEY DON'T.
213
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,770
WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO, MAX? WE'LL BE KILLED!
214
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:19,721
DON'T WORRY, 99.
215
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,723
WE WON'T BE KILLED.
216
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,093
JUST FOLLOW ME AND DO WHAT I DO.
217
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,693
STOP THEM! FIRE!
218
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,372
MAX, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
219
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:53,655
WHAT HAPPENED, 99? DON'T
TELL ME I FELL OFF THE HORSE.
220
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,824
YOU FELL OFF THE HORSE, MAX.
221
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,208
I ASKED YOU NOT TO TELL ME THAT.
222
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,265
I OWE YOU A DEBT OF
GRATITUDE, SENOR SMART.
223
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:06,134
IT WAS VERY BRAVE OF
YOU TO TRY TO SAVE ME.
224
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:08,670
WELL, I DID THE BEST
I COULD, DON CARLOS.
225
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,373
- BUT I DID LEARN ONE THING.
- AND THAT IS, SENOR?
226
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:14,543
THE NEXT TIME I RIDE A
HORSE, IT'LL BE AT SANTA ANITA.
227
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,978
Doña Isabella: GET
YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
228
00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:19,970
DON'T TOUCH ME! I SAID
GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
229
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,185
ISABELLA, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
230
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:28,089
I TOLD GENERAL PAJARITO THAT I
WOULD RATHER DIE HERE WITH YOU
231
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:30,047
THAN TO MARRY HIM.
232
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,501
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- THAT WAS LUCKY FRANCISCO.
233
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,936
HE WON THE DRAWING TODAY
IN THE NATIONAL LOTTERY.
234
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,428
- AND THEY SHOT HIM?
- SI. THAT IS THE FIRST PRIZE.
235
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:49,210
IN JUST A FEW MINUTES,
YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.
236
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,948
WHAT ARE YOU WHISPERING ABOUT?
EVERYBODY IN TOWN KNOWS THAT.
237
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,017
SENOR, SOMETIMES IT IS POSSIBLE,
238
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,419
FOR A CERTAIN AMOUNT
OF AMERICAN DOLLARS,
239
00:17:57,443 --> 00:18:01,490
TO PERSUADE THE FIRING
SQUAD TO USE BLANKS.
240
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:05,360
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT
THE FIRING SQUAD CAN BE BRIBED?
241
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:08,264
- SI.
- BUT THAT'S TERRIBLE. THAT'S DISGRACEFUL.
242
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:11,267
I REFUSE TO HAVE ANY PART
OF THAT KIND OF CORRUPTION.
243
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,936
UH, WHAT'S THE DEAL?
244
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,906
- $80 AMERICAN.
- $80?
245
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,511
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR
MIND? I'D RATHER DIE FIRST.
246
00:18:20,535 --> 00:18:20,976
MAX!
247
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,878
99, WILL YOU LET ME HANDLE THIS?
YOU HAVE TO BARGAIN WITH THEM.
248
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:27,683
THEY EXPECT IT. YOU WANT
THEM TO THINK WE'RE TOURISTS?
249
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,685
- $40.
- $70.
250
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,587
- $55.
- $63.
251
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,456
- $59.
- $60.
252
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,759
THAT'S MY LAST OFFER.
THAT IS IT. $59... THAT'S IT.
253
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,761
SENOR, WE ARE ONLY $1 APART.
254
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,997
- I DON'T CARE. IT'S THE
PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.
- MAX!
255
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:45,734
99, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
THIS MAN IS TRYING TO TAKE US.
256
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:48,771
I CAN GET THE SAME
DEAL IN PANAMA FOR $39.95.
257
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,674
UH, $60, RIGHT?
258
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:54,743
LISTEN, WHEN I TRAVEL, I
ONLY CARRY $50 IN CASH.
259
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:58,569
- WILL YOU TAKE A CREDIT CARD?
- HERE, MAX, I HAVE SOME CASH.
260
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,708
GRACIAS.
261
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,860
- MAX, YOU DID IT!
- YES. I ONLY HOPE
IT'S DEDUCTIBLE.
262
00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:13,729
ALL RIGHT, NOW LISTEN. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE
GONNA DO: WHEN THE FIRING SQUAD FIRES,
263
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,465
EVERYBODY FALL DOWN AND
PLAY DEAD. THEN I'LL GIVE A SIGNAL,
264
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,933
AND WE'LL ALL GET UP AND RUN
TO A FIELD OUTSIDE OF THE PLAZA.
265
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:22,470
- WE WILL ALL BE CAPTURED.
- NO, WE BURIED
A BALLOON IN THE FIELD.
266
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,563
- THAT'LL CARRY US TO SAFETY.
- WE OWE YOU OUR LIVES.
267
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,346
BACK SO QUICK? DID YOU
GET TO THE FIRING SQUAD?
268
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,883
- "CHASE" AND NO.
- "CHASE AND NO"?
269
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,753
SI, I ONLY GOT TO
HALF THE FIRING SQUAD.
270
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:41,890
YOU BRIBED HALF THE FIRING
SQUAD? BUT THAT'S TERRIBLE!
271
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:45,327
IT'S NOT TERRIBLE, SENOR.
YOU GET BACK HALF YOUR MONEY.
272
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,129
I BELIEVE THAT'S $30.
273
00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:51,333
WOULD YOU BELIEVE $27?
274
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,802
WHY $27?
275
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:57,628
10% FOR ME. AFTER ALL, I
BOOKED THE WHOLE DEAL.
276
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,698
SON OF A GUN.
277
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,651
I GUESS THIS IS IT, MAX.
278
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:12,988
NO, IT ISN'T, 99. I STILL
HAVE MY LASER PEN.
279
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,246
GOOD THINKING, MAX!
280
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,514
I THINK I'M GONNA
NEED SOME HELP.
281
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,603
VERY AMUSING.
282
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,947
YOU SAVED US THE
TROUBLE OF COMING FOR YOU.
283
00:21:06,231 --> 00:21:10,245
MY FRIENDS, WE COME
TO THE END OF THE ROAD.
284
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,716
IT GRIEVES ME DEEPLY TO
HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU.
285
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:15,951
ESPECIALLY TO YOU, ISABELLA.
286
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:18,120
WE COULD HAVE BEEN
SO HAPPY TOGETHER.
287
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:21,223
YOU PIG! YOU DOG!
288
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:24,259
YOU ROTTEN, FILTHY
SWINE! YOU LOWLIFE!
289
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,129
ISABELLA, COOL IT. YOU
WANT TO GET US IN TROUBLE?
290
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:29,431
DOES ANYONE WISH A BLINDFOLD?
291
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:32,101
NO, THANK YOU. BUT DO YOU
MIND IF I HAVE A LAST CIGARETTE?
292
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:34,558
OF COURSE. IT IS THE CUSTOM.
293
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:41,043
THEY'RE GETTING A
LITTLE LONGER THIS YEAR.
294
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:43,612
NOT VERY AMUSING.
295
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,381
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DIE!
296
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:50,185
FIRING SQUAD, ATTENTION!
297
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:52,921
WE'RE NOT DEAD YET, 99.
298
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:56,859
THOSE MEN ARE SOLDIERS. THEY
OBEY COMMANDS IMMEDIATELY.
299
00:21:56,883 --> 00:22:00,829
READY, AIM...
300
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:03,520
ABOUT FACE!
301
00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:23,719
ALL RIGHT. NOW ALL I HAVE
TO DO IS INFLATE THIS BALLOON,
302
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:25,721
AND WE'LL ALL BE OFF
INTO THE WILD BLUE YONDER.
303
00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:28,991
MAX! IT ONLY HOLDS
THREE. WE CAN'T ALL GO.
304
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:32,761
YOU'RE RIGHT, 99. IT
WON'T CARRY FOUR OF US.
305
00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:34,763
WELL, THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING TO DO.
306
00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:37,098
YOU THREE GO, I'LL STAY.
307
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:40,035
- MAX, I'M NOT GOING
WITHOUT YOU.
- DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, 99.
308
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:42,103
OF COURSE YOU'RE
GOING WITHOUT ME.
309
00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:44,773
SENOR SMART, I'M AN OLD MAN.
310
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:47,509
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY
DIFFERENCE ANYMORE. I'LL STAY.
311
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,978
DON CARLOS, HOW OLD ARE YOU?
312
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:53,114
- 74.
- 74?
313
00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:57,118
- HE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE
TOO MUCH TIME LEFT, 99.
- MAX!
314
00:22:57,142 --> 00:22:59,187
Max: ALL RIGHT. LET'S
NOT ARGUE ABOUT IT.
315
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:02,424
ALL FOUR OF US WILL GO. I'LL
JUST INFLATE THE BALLOON...
316
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:09,920
MAX! YOU BROUGHT
THE WRONG SUITCASE!
317
00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:17,238
WELL, THAT ELIMINATES ONE PROBLEM...
ABOUT WHO GOES AND WHO STAYS.
318
00:23:17,262 --> 00:23:20,222
MAX, HERE THEY COME NOW!
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
319
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:27,816
WELL, THE WAY I LOOK AT IT, 99,
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT'LL SAVE US.
320
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,074
- WHAT'S THAT, MAX?
- A RIVER.
321
00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:45,867
OH, MAX.
322
00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:49,203
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
FOR? GO AHEAD AND SHOOT.
323
00:23:49,227 --> 00:23:51,206
YES, SHOOT.
324
00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:53,475
I THINK THERE IS SOME
MISTAKE, DON CARLOS.
325
00:23:53,499 --> 00:23:55,577
I HAVE NOT COME
HERE TO SHOOT YOU.
326
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,880
NOW THAT THE GENERAL
IS DEAD, WE ARE FREE,
327
00:23:58,904 --> 00:24:01,483
AND WE WANT YOU TO COME
BACK TO TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE
328
00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:03,619
AS PRESIDENTE OF SAN SALUDOS.
329
00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:06,154
OH, FATHER, FATHER!
330
00:24:06,178 --> 00:24:09,090
I AM EL PRESIDENTE AGAIN.
331
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:11,982
HOW CAN I EVER
THANK YOU, MY SON?
332
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:17,755
YES, WELL, THAT'S NOT
EXACTLY WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
26357
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