Original subtitles

FIEVEL: And then the hero, Wylie Burp,

squinted across the dusty street.

Hopelessly surrounded by the Cactus Cat gang, he stood his ground,

refusing to back down.

(CATS LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

Have no fear, Billy the kid is here.

It's too tough, kid. Get out while you still can.

If you're biting the dust, I'm going down with ya.

(GUNSHOTS) (GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(ALL YELLING)

(BLOWS AIR)

You saved my life. I'll never forget this, kid.

Here, son, I want you to have one of these.

Oh! Look out behind you, kid.

MAMA: (ECHOING) Fievel, your supper's ready.

Ouch! MAMA: Fievel!

Fievel!

(SINGING) Somewhere

Out there

Beneath the pale moonlight

Someone's thinking of me

And loving me

(SPLATTERS)

And loving me

(SPLATTERS)

And loving me (SPLATTERS)

MAN: (SCREAMING) Shut up!

Papa, they're throwing fruit and vegetables at me again.

Keep singing. Maybe they will throw some fruit for dessert.

(SCOFFING) Another night without cheese.

Yee-haw!

Howdy, Mama.

I come here to rustle me up some grub.

And where have you been, Fievel? You're late.

I had to rescue the sheriff, Wylie Burp.

He was surrounded by the Cactus Cat gang.

Oh, such a tall tale, Fievel.

And dirty hands, too?

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Go. Wash.

Oh, Mama, I just washed...

Yesterday.

I thought things would be better in America.

In Russia, my violins were famous.

At least we never went hungry.

(CHUCKLING) Maybe Tanya should sing again.

Very funny.

You'll see. Someday I'll be a big star.

People will come from miles around.

Yeah, to eat. (LAUGHING)

Mama!

Fievel... (RATTLING)

(TRAIN CHUGGING)

(BOTH GASPING)

Whoa!

They call America the land of opportunity.

Opportunity for what?

For children to play in the filthy streets?

To never see the sunshine?

Fievel's birthday is coming,

and we don't even have enough money for presents.

Oh, Papa, I don't care.

I could always sing in front of the gift shop

and maybe they'll throw presents.

(ALL LAUGHING)

How truly blessed I am to have such fine children.

Maybe things will get better.

(CRASHING)

Tiger? Tiger! (GASPS)

Can we have an espresso and talk this over, please?

Listen, Tiger. You're an alley cat. Pretty please.

Born and bred. How true.

I got a ticket to sunshine, and I'm going West.

I heard there's a town that promises a new frontier.

And a brand-new breed of cat.

Is there anything wrong with my breed?

City cats got too much purr in their fur. (MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY)

Not enough growl in their howl.

Look at you. You catnap, cat around.

And, heck, I don't mean to be mean,

but you're even a little bit of a fraidy cat.

TIGER: Who told you that?

Hey, I'm no fraidy cat. I'll show you.

I'll show them. I'm no fraidy cat.

Tiger, I don't want a tomcat, top cat or even a tough tabby.

I just want... Ooh.

(SIGHS) How do I say this?

I just want a cat who's more like a dog.

(HORSE NEIGHING)

That's my ride out West.

Now show me you're tough.

And don't make a fuss when I leave, okay?

(PURRING)

You don't mean... This is good-bye?

Hey, there are no good-byes between you and me, Tiger.

After all, we'll always have the Bronx.

Here's looking at you, kid.

The Bronx, that's right. The Bronx, right.

I won't make a fuss. I can handle it.

(CHUCKLING) I can...

(PURRING)

I can, uh...

(SOBBING)

Cat attack!

(TROMBONE PLAYING)

Cat attack!

MOUSE: Cat attack!

(YELLING)

(SCREAMS)

Pay attention. Keep it clean and tidy.

Plenty of violence, but no eating.

Right. Carry on, chaps.

(CRYING)

MAMA: Fievel! Fievel!

Get in here with the family!

(YELPING)

Yee-haw!

(LAUGHS)

Oh, no! The mice! Aw, gee!

(CACKLING)

Peekaboo. (LAUGHING)

Oh, I got... I gotta do something.

I will be tough. I will be brave. (GASPS)

Oops.

It's a spy... A spee... A spide... De...

De... De... An arachnid!

(SCREAMING)

Why, those no-good ornery varmints.

Fievel, my son. Come back!

Oh!

(THUNDER CRASHING)

Oh, thank heavens.

I forgot my hat.

(WICKED LAUGHTER IN DISTANCE)

PAPA: Fievel, come back.

Hee-ya. PAPA: Fievel!

Fievel, my son, come back!

(YELLING)

(CAT CHUCKLING)

(GRUNTS)

No! Papa!

Huh? (GASPING)

(CAT LAUGHING)

I see you're missing an eye, pilgrim.

Now this makes it a fair fight.

Yeah?

That's right.

I'm talking to you, fur head.

(GROWLING) Fur head?

(GASPING)

I don't care what the boss says.

This mouse is lunch. (LAUGHS EVILLY)

Run! Run, Fievel!

(GRUNTING) Oh, no.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(WHIMPERING)

(SCREECHING)

For your life, Fievel, run!

(WHIMPERING)

Mama, Tanya, get in!

TANYA: Fievel!

FIEVEL: Papa, get in!

(GASPING) Everybody, together, run!

Run!

(ROARS)

CAT R. WAUL: Jolly, jolly good.

Now for my part.

Look!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(FIEVEL CHUCKLING)

Whoa!

TANYA: Oh...

(ALL SCREAMING)

(SPLASHING)

(COUGHING)

Let's go on that ride again.

Where did I get such a son?

MALE VOICE: Why, howdy, fine mice.

I'm in desperate need of help, y'all.

It seems that I've come into possession

of some railway tickets to the West.

Tickets to sunshine that I will be unable to use now.

Surely there are some of y'all...

Looking for a little elbow room, y'all.

Now, I ain't gonna lie to you.

There are problems out West.

There's a lot of bright sunshine and fresh air.

But after these opulent, aromatic sewers,

that might be frightfully upsetting for you all, you all...

Y'all. (CLEARS THROAT) Sorry.

I reckon I'll take one of them tickets.

I'll take 15.

Now just hold your horses one gold darn minute, y'all.

There's plenty for everyone, yes, sirree.

Are there any cats out West?

There certainly are, partners,

and if you have any prejudices against cats,

you better stay put because on the frontier,

cats and mice help each other.

The anointed leader of the cats, a Mr. Cat R. Waul,

is one of the most enlightened, intelligent, sophisticated,

charming, non-narcissistic, debonair, suave,

dashing, renaissance cats you could ever wish to meet.

Uh, ah, the fact is, cats even get along with the dogs out there.

Sheriff Wylie Burp is probably the finest

law-dog in the West, actually, y'all.

Wylie Burp... Wow!

Too bad there aren't any desperadoes left to round up.

Hee-hee-hee! MOUSE 1: I'll take a ticket.

MOUSE 2: Three tickets, please.

Don't push, please. Plenty for all.

MOUSE 3: Three tickets. CAT R. WAUL: Three for you, jolly good.

Come on, Papa. Let's go.

There is opportunity out West.

Maybe they have a better appreciation of singers out there.

So what are we fiddling around here for?

Let's go West, partners!

Jolly, jolly, jolly good.

Anybody still like some tickets, y'all?

(MEOWING)

(CRASH)

(GROANING)

Oh, those nine lives come in handy.

Fiev...

Fievel. Hello.

(GASPS) Wow, it's empty.

Oh, no. What's this?

Oh, no!

"Dear Tiger, we left New York.

"We're taking the train to a town out West called Green River.

"I tried to find you to tell you,

"but I guess you were somewhere with Miss Kitty.

"I miss you and I hope I see you again sometime.

"Your best friend, Fievel."

Train, the train! They're taking the train.

(MUMBLING)

(WHIMPERS)

PAPA: Hurry, Mama. The train won't wait.

MAMA: I'm sure we forgot something.

Let us see. We have your violin tools, the pots and pans...

I took them anyhow... Your pipe,

the tail curler, the whisker comb,

the cheese board, and Grandpa's cheese knife.

Oh, I hope we have everything.

PAPA: Don't worry, it will be wonderful.

FEMALE MOUSE: Alas, poor Yorick. (SOBBING)

I knew him well.

(FEMALE MOUSE YODELING)

Look, Mama!

An actor and a singer.

Tanya, stop that.

You shouldn't stare at the people less fortunate than yourself.

(GROANING)

Last call, all passengers bound for Altuna,

Akron, Elkhart, Oskaloosa and Green River.

Fievel, my son, what is wrong with you?

You should be happy. We are going West.

I was hoping maybe Tiger would come say good-bye.

Will I ever see him again, Papa?

Who am I to know, Fievel?

Tiger was a wonderful cat,

but he was still a cat.

Someday you will understand.

When, Papa? When will I understand?

(CHUCKLING) Hey, if growing up were easy, Fievel,

would it take so long?

Bye, Tiger, wherever you are.

You're the best cat I ever met.

(SNIFFLES)

TIGER: I gotta catch up with that train.

Fievel, wait for me. Wait for me, please. (BARKING)

Ooh, dogs. I hate those guys. (BARKING)

(PANTING)

(CHUCKLING)

(PURRING)

(SCREAMING)

(TRAIN HORN HOOTING) Oh, good.

Fievel's train hasn't left yet. (GROWLING)

(BARKING)

(SOBBING LOUDLY)

I want my mommy.

Uh-oh.

(YELLING)

(SNARLS)

(BLOWING)

(PINBALL MACHINE SOUNDS)

(GROWLING)

TIGER: Now, listen, you guys, be nice. Be nice.

(YELLING) (DOGS BARKING)

Oh!

(BARKING)

(LAUGHING) Oops!

(YELLING)

(GROWLING)

Cat got your tongue?

Wait! Stop! That's my train!

I want it.

(SCREAMING) Oh, please, I'll be good.

I'll always lick. I'll always cover my...

(SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

(STAMMERING)

(CHUCKLING) I made it. What a stupid dog.

Na-na-na-na-na-na. Your mother was never housebroken.

(LAUGHING) Toodle-oo!

(GROWLING) Hello. (CHUCKLES)

(YELLING)

(TRAIN HORN HOOTING)

TIGER: Oh, no, not again.

(BARKING)

(SNARLING)

Dogfish.

(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)

(TRAIN CHUGGING)

TRAIN: Way out West, way out West, way out West, way out West,

way out West, way out West.

FIEVEL: Are we out West yet?

Oh, West Jersey, maybe.

(SINGING) Life in New York City, it's full of dread and fuss

Our dreams are waiting way out West, there's room for all of us

The streets are paved with nuggets, all of purest gold

And soon we'll all be millionaires

Boy, have I been told!

(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)

No garbage and no landlords fouling' up the air

No crooks or politicians to strip our cupboards bare

We'll ride roaring rivers, turn wilderness to towns

Our dreams will take us up and up and never let us down

Way out West, there's room for dreaming'

There's wide open spaces to see

Way out West, the sun's always beamin'

We'll be everything we can be

The nights are filled with dancing lasting 'til the day

Days are filled with singing, work is just like play

We'll banjo, we'll fiddle We'll guitar

We'll spoon

Everywhere we go out there, we'll play this rousing tune

'Cause way out West, we'll build a new nation

We'll grow all the way to the sky

Way out West, there's all of creation

We'll do and we'll never say die

Yee-haw!

Way out West, we'll build a new nation

We'll go all the way to the sky

Way out West, there's all of creation

We'll do, and we'll never say die

MOUSE: Ooh-ha! (LAUGHING)

(SLOSHING)

(CATS MEOWING)

MAN: Hey, shut up! (YELLING)

My mother always wanted me to be on the stage.

Uh, excuse me, sir. Mr. Cowboy.

You wouldn't be going to Green River by any chance, would you?

(GROWLING)

(FRIGHTENED WHIMPER)

(CARRIAGE SQUEAKING)

(TIGER GROANING)

(PAPA SNORING)

(TRAIN CHUGGING)

(CREAKING)

(MOOING)

(GASPS)

I know you. You sold us the tickets.

Hi, my name is Fievel Mousekewitz.

(GASPING)

(CHULA CACKLING)

I win again, fathead.

I say you cheatin'. You played your last hand, Chula.

I don't think so.

I got seven more, dog chow!

Why, you dirty, rotten, low-down, double dealing...

I don't get it, boss. How come we're not

munching those mice back there?

Oui.

(FRENCH ACCENT) This fraternity with mice does run counter to nature.

Which would you rather have, the crouton or the entire Caesar salad?

Of course, we will eat the mice,

but only after we have exploited their labors.

CAT R. WAUL: We are nice to the mice

because it is intelligent to be so.

You see? If we talk sweetly, they will come in droves.

If we hiss, they will run, and we will have to chase after them,

an unnecessary expenditure of calories.

So when do we take the big bite, boss?

CAT: When do we get to eat them? When, when, when?

When my empire at Green River is complete,

and when we have a better mousetrap.

ALL: Mouseburgers!

Yes, mouseburgers indeed.

Music... To aid the digestion. Help!

(CHULA HUMMING)

(VIOLIN PLAYING)

Next stop, mouth, throat, stomach, intestine,

and, you guessed it, Green River.

Whoa, oh! Whoa, whoa, oh!

(CHOMPING)

Uh-oh.

(SCREAMING)

So, what do we have here?

It appears to be a young pioneer.

Now, the feline in me would like to

devour this tender young morsel,

but the shrewd businessman in me knows that if I do,

the other mice will miss him and come looking for him.

But the gourmet in me quivers at the thought of

mouse tartar.

(WHIMPERING)

But the entrepreneur prefers not to be inundated

by suspicious mice that could jeopardize my plan.

(FIEVEL COUGHING) So, I must exercise

both willpower and finesse.

Scamper back to your parents, little mouse.

And do be careful. It's frightfully hazardous out there.

Bye.

Give him the flying "ah." Make it good.

CHULA: Ooh, the flying "ah!" I love the flying "ah!"

(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)

Mouse overboard! (LAUGHING)

Where? What?

(SQUEAKS)

I just love the flying "ah."

(FIEVEL SCREAMING)

Fievel!

Fievel, my son!

(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Don't be a fool, Mousekewitz!

(GROANING) Whoa... Ooh!

(GROANING)

(SIGHS)

TIGER: Excuse me. You got a minute?

Are there any rest stops on this trip?

(THUDDING) TIGER: Ooh!

Hey, wait for me!

You just can't leave me here!

I burn easily.

I'm... Lost, all alone...

In a million-acre cat box.

Phoo!

(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)

MAMA: My son, Fievel.

(SNIFFLING)

(SIGHS)

(SOBBING)

You know something, Papa?

I think we got snookered.

(PEOPLE CHATTING INDISTINCTLY)

(SNORES)

No, Mama.

This is what the land of opportunity looks like...

I think. It feels empty and lonely to me.

MOUSE: Over here, over here.

(MICE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Hey, you, this is my place.

This is my place.

Don't you wanna buy it?

MAMA: Papa, quick, quick.

PAPA: All right, all right.

PAPA: We Mousekewitz may be slower, but we are smarter.

You see, all these speedy mices are fighting over the land.

But in this dusty country,

you want to be near the water.

So this is what we left New York for.

(VOICE BREAKING) This is what we lost Fievel for.

Chula, do this.

Chula, do that.

I'm a good-looking spider, no?

There's a lot of old women like to marry me.

Mama, Fievel will come.

He's a Mousekewitz.

If we work hard, Green River will be everything we dreamed of.

The water, for instance.

In days it will be a beautiful waterfall.

That patch of mud will be a rich field covered with waving grain.

Prairie dogs will graze on that land, and the city will prosper.

(CHULA CACKLES)

The water.

Without water...

How can we survive?

(GASPING)

CAT R.WAUL: Please, please, there's no need

for such a bleak assessment of your situation.

After all, what are neighbors for?

A cup of sugar, a saucer of cream.

A pail of water, perhaps.

Water? I'll give 'em water. (RETCHING)

(SPITTING) (GASPING)

Now, I'd like to share a vision.

CAT R. WAUL: A vision of a better world. MOUSE: My eyes!

A world where cats and mice live and work side by side.

A world where mothers raise their mouselings without fear.

Where musicians receive their proper due.

Where young mousettes fulfill their every dream.

Will you help me build this world?

(MICE CHEERING)

FIEVEL: (WEAKLY) Water, water.

I need water. Water.

MAMA: (ECHOING) Fievel.

I'm right here.

Mama, I'm coming.

MAMA: (ECHOING) Fievel.

Mama, I'm right here.

Mama, I'm coming.

Mama.

MAMA: (ECHOING) Fievel.

MAMA: (ECHOING) Fievel.

Mama! Papa!

Mama.

(CLOTH TEARING) (GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

TIGER: This is the worst moment of my life.

I wouldn't wish this on a dog.

Maybe a dog. (CHUCKLING)

(SINGING) Oh, my darling Oh, my darling...

MISS KITTY: Who?

(COUGHING)

Oh, my darling? Who?

It's Tiger, your darling. Don't you recognize me?

Who? It's me, Tiger. (CHUCKLES)

Your darling baby buppie-bunga-boo.

Ooh! (LAUGHS) (BABBLES)

Hey, you're not my darling.

(NERVOUS CHUCKLE) (OWL HUFFS)

I just kissed an owl.

FIEVEL: (ECHOING) Tiger!

Fievel?

FIEVEL: Tiger!

Fievel, I've been searching all over for you.

Tiger, is that you?

TIGER: (ECHOING) Fievel.

Nope, bet it's another mirage.

Ah, Fievel, I just can't tell you how much I wish

you weren't a mirage.

Hi, mirage of Tiger.

Hi, mirage of Fievel.

Don't they ever dust this place?

Boy! (COUGHING)

A guy could make a fortune out here selling...

(BONES RATTLING)

Vacuum cleaners.

(RATTLING)

Dancing buffalo bones.

Nah.

(WAR CRIES)

(SCREAMING)

(CHANTING)

Ah, come on, fellows. I'm just a mangy, old cat.

I don't taste good without, you know, ketchup.

Mmm. No.

No, no, no. Ma'am. I'm not your color.

Could we just have an espresso and talk this over, please?

How... Do you do?

(GIGGLES)

(SPEAKING IN MOUSEHICAN DIALECT)

Huh?

Ah.

(GASPS)

(GIGGLES)

(GASPING)

(SCREECHING)

(WHIMPERING)

(SQUEAKING)

(PANTING)

(SCREECHING)

(SQUEAKS)

(SCREECHING)

(FIEVEL GASPS)

(PANTING)

(GROWLING)

(SCREECHING)

(GASPS)

(SCREECHING)

FIEVEL: Papa!

(ECHOING) Papa!

(DRUMS BEATING)

(MICE CHANTING)

(POPPING)

(LAUGHING)

They think I'm their Tiger god.

How lucky can you get? (LAUGHING)

I mean, how did they know I was a vegetarian?

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

Mmm-mmm.

(BURPING) It's funny how your appetite perks up

when you find out that you're gonna eat dinner

instead of be dinner, you know?

(LAUGHING) Innkeeper, more wine.

(TIGER CHUCKLING)

(WAR CRIES)

(SPEAKING IN MOUSEHICAN DIALECT)

Shh!

FIEVEL: I said put me down, you ugly fur ball.

I won't stand for this. Put me down!

(WAR CRIES)

(SHRIEKING)

(SHRIEKING)

(CLUCKING)

Uh-oh.

FIEVEL: Help!

(CHOMPING)

Water! (SLURPING)

Ah!

Oh, no...

I'm in a mouth.

(SCREAMS)

(GULPS)

I think a little endive went down the wrong tube.

Oh, I hope he doesn't throw up.

Get me out of here!

Who said that?

FIEVEL: Me! "Me," he says.

Say "ah."

Ah.

Tiger! Fievel!

(CHUCKLES) I thought I would never see you again.

We waited for you at the station.

Oh, believe me, believe me, I tried to get there,

but I was dogged every step of the way.

Oh, Tiger, you're my best friend.

Come on, let's go to Green River.

Listen, Fievel.

I think there's something I forgot to mention.

The only reason I'm not a moccasin right now

is because they think I'm a God.

And this conversation is making me look very un-godlike.

Tiger, listen to me.

I have to warn my family.

The cats are gonna turn them into mouse...

Shh. (WHISPERS) These folks get very offended

if you eat and run!

I'll join you as soon as I can.

You promise?

I promise. Cross my heart and hope to cry.

Oh, Tiger. (PURRING)

I almost forgot.

How do you get to Green River?

Just grab a passing sagecoach.

Okay. See you later, Tiger. Adiós.

Sagecoach, get it? Sage. (LAUGHING)

Oh, never mind.

(VARIOUS ANIMALS SINGING) Rolling, rolling, rolling

Rolling, rolling, rolling

Rolling, rolling, rolling

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

Rawhide

Move 'em on Head 'em up

Head 'em up Move 'em on

Move 'em on Head 'em up

Rawhide

Cut 'em out Ride 'em in

Ride 'em in Cut 'em out

Cut 'em out

Ride 'em in rawhide

Rolling, rolling, rolling

Excuse me, Mr. Dog? (SNORING)

I was wondering if you could give me some help.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, another tumbleweed asking me for help.

Oh, oh, no, not again.

(SNORING) Not again.

(BURPING)

(WHIMPERING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES)

(ALL GRUNTING)

Mama! Papa! Tanya!

Our Fievel, he's alive. Oh!

Oh, our baby.

He's come back to us. (LAUGHING)

MOUSE: Mousekewitz, don't let go!

Oh, Fievel. What happened to you?

Well, I got lost in this desert.

And this giant hawk picked me up and dropped me

right on the Mousehican village where Tiger is a god.

(WHISPERS) Papa, I have to warn you.

The cats, they're gonna build this giant mousetrap.

And they're gonna turn us into mouse burgers!

A giant mousetrap, and Tiger is a god?

(WHISPERS) I think Fievel's been out in the sun too long.

Mousekewitz!

But Tiger is a God, and they are building a giant mousetrap.

Fievel, Fievel, the only thing that has grown faster than you

are your tall tales.

You will see that out West cats are good.

(GASPING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Huh?

(MUTTERING)

So, what's your problem?

Being nice to these mice. It's driving me nuts!

Get on with it, you morons!

After the saloon is finished tomorrow,

we announce that we are going to have a special ceremony.

We invite all of the mice!

And seat them in the stands!

And when the sun goes down...

CAT R. WAUL: Snappo! Mouse burgers.

ALL: Mouse burgers!

Let me hear that again!

ALL: Mouse burgers!

Let the saliva flow!

ALL: Mouse burgers!

FEMALE MOUSE: La la-la-la-la

La La-la-la-la

La la-la-la-la

Next.

(YELLING)

Terrible, terrible!

Truly, utterly appalling.

CAT R. WAUL: I must have a voice to

match the opulence of this saloon.

Ooh! (WHOOSHING)

Argh! (GASPING)

Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy! (CHOKING)

Pussy, pussy, oh, pussy.

(MEOWS)

Humans, yech!

So shiny and bleah!

Right, I want the subversive

who attempted to assassinate me found.

I just love finding subversives.

(SPITTING)

Hey boss, what's a subversive?

Someone who doesn't have long to live.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Well... (MUSIC DIES DOWN)

If it isn't my diminutive friend from the train.

Cat R. Waul!

I heard what you said about the mouse burgers.

And I'm gonna tell everyone.

I'm gonna get Wylie Burp, 'cause he's the law.

The Wylie Burp?

(ALL LAUGHING)

That quaint historical figure.

Put simply, mouseling, I am the law here,

and you're a mere hors d'oeuvre.

TANYA: (SINGING) Dreams to dream

(GASPING) (CLANKING)

In the dark of the night

It's dinnertime. (GASPING)

When the world goes wrong

CAT: Hey, what's wrong with the boss?

I can still make it right

I can see so far

In my dreams

I'll follow my dreams

Until they come true

Come with me

You will see what I mean

There's a world inside

No one else ever sees

You will go

So far in my dreams

Somewhere in my dreams

Your dreams will come true

There is a star

Waiting to guide us

Shining inside us

When we close our eyes

Don't let go

If you stay close to me

In my dreams tonight

You will see what I see

Dreams to dream

As near as can be

Inside you and me

Well, well, well.

Well, look what the cat dragged in.

A mouse, that's a first.

Not just any mouse.

This is a diva. (GASPS)

Diva, schmeva.

You put a mouse on the stage

and your saloon's gonna be as empty as death valley

on a cold day in June when the snow don't fall.

What?

They'll love her, they'll adore her.

And those who don't will answer to me.

Anything you say, pussypoos.

I have mentioned that I dislike being referred to as pussypoos.

Yeah? Well, maybe I'm not so happy

about being dumped in nature's ashtray

500 miles from a pastrami sandwich, either...

Pussypoos.

Yes, I... I think I just mentioned, didn't I,

that I dislike being referred to as pussypoos...

As for the mousette, I'll get her on the stage for you.

See that you do. Farewell, my diva.

MISS KITTY: Now, then...

(GASPING)

Oh.

Don't worry, mousey. You're safe now.

So... So, you're really not tough and mean like you were acting?

Who, me? Nah.

I'm soft as this powder puff, and twice as gentle.

But living out here around characters like that... That...

(FRUSTRATED SIGH) Well...

What's your name, honey? Uh...

Tanya. Tanya Mousekewitz.

And you want to be a great singer.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes! (GASPS)

(SOBBING)

Aw. What's the matter?

You're shaking like a rattlesnake tail.

I'm a little scared.

I've never sang in front of a real audience before.

(CRASH) (GASPS)

(CAT LAUGHING)

Why, sweetie, you wouldn't be an artiste

if you weren't just a teensy bit nervous.

I'm not pretty. And says who?

You can be whatever you want if you just believe in yourself.

Show me some grit and guts. Come on, honey!

Give me a smile.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Sweetheart, you can do better than that.

Think of something real nice.

Now, I want you to reach deep down

and find the most beautiful thought that's in your heart.

Oh, beautiful. Hmm.

Tonight, Tanya,

forget you're in this cow pie hole-of-an-olive-pit town.

You're with your fella at the El Purrocco club.

You're on that stage, and he has a front row seat!

And you're singing your heart out just for him!

There are things there I miss so much.

(KISSING)

I've forgotten why I left.

(SIGHS) So much for regrets.

So, do you like yourself?

I... I look like a real lady.

Remember, the real lady is what's under the mask.

Now go knock them dead.

(GASPS) (GLASS SHATTERS)

Oh, dear, oh, dear. He's not cooking evenly.

(HUMMING)

Yeow!

Gentle creatures, I have arranged for a special preview

of the artistic virtuosity

that will become commonplace (GLASS SHATTERS)

on this stage!

Allow me to present the divine diva,

Ms. Tanya!

(CLAPPING)

(LAUGHING)

(GASPS) I can't do this.

Sure you can.

And if anyone throws so much as a radish at you,

I'll slap them so hard their meow will fall off.

(FANFARE)

(ALL GASP)

CAT: A mouse!

Throw the mouse out of the house!

(SINGING) Do you ever miss

CAT 1: The boss has hit the catnip again.

CAT 2: Yeah. What's wrong with the boss?

Do you ever miss the girl

You left behind?

(SONG RESONATING)

ALL: Gosh!

Is the girl you left behind out there tonight romancing?

Making eyes at someone else, and singing

Is she dancing?

CHULA: Come back, mouse!

You wouldn't want me to miss my dinner, would you?

Puts teardrops in your eyes...

CHULA: I'm blind! I'm blind!

Have the fiddlers play a tune

Help, Tanya!

Hope the girl you left behind will be there for you

I'm not here, you pointed head!

You know you'll always miss her

Lonely is the lover's heart If only you could kiss her

Kiss her, kiss her

Come here! Come here! (SCREAMS)

COWBOY: Darn mouse!

You bugger face!

Just don't leave them too darn long

I think I ought to warn you

Absence makes the heart grow cold

And makes a heart to wander

If you stay there by their side,

You'll feel their hearts grow fonder

Hope you see her someday Hope I find my way

Back to the girl I left behind

So tell me you will never roam

We swear we won't go roaming

You'll be by your fireside

We'll all be home sweet homing

Kiss Her, miss her, kiss her

Inky-dinky spider caught a mouse in his web

The inky-dinky spider bit off the mouse's head

(GASPS) (CACKLES)

(GROANS) Ow! I'm in pain!

So where's the girl you left behind?

She's waiting for her sister

We won't stop until we're home We'll hug and kiss her

I'll find the girl, I'll find the girl

You'll find the girl You'll find the girl you left behind

Tonight, tonight, tonight That's right, all right

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

CATS: Encore, encore!

(SNEEZES)

Tanya, let's get out of here!

I must stay. My public needs me.

I can't leave you here. It's dangerous.

Thank you for your adulation.

(WHISPERS) Tanya.

WYLIE: What's the matter, son? (SNORING)

Did you ever know something important,

but nobody will believe you?

Boy, I wish Wylie Burp was here.

You do?

(SNIFFLES)

Well, then, he... He... He's right here.

Where?

The old dog's right under your whiskers, lad.

(SNORING)

Read the badge, son.

(SNORES)

"Wylie Burp, Sheriff"?

Wow!

We need you, Sheriff Burp!

The cats are gonna turn us into mouse burgers!

You gotta help us now!

Let this sleeping dog lie, son.

Doggone it, I'm dog tired.

I'm tired of leading a dog's life

and fighting like cats and dogs against cats and dogs,

and young pups dogging my trail, trying to become top dog.

I'm going to the dogs in a dog-eat-dog world, son.

I'm... I'm so far over the hill,

I'm on the bottom of the other side.

(SNORING)

But you know,

I... I think I might be able to help you.

How? We've only got till sundown tomorrow.

Gotta find me a dog. I'll teach him the stuff.

I'll make a hero out of him.

(BONES CLATTERING)

I don't know any dogs,

but I do know a god!

Oh, no, I can't. You got the wrong cat.

I am a god of eternal peace and cosmic love, my friend.

But why argue?

I'm here, you're here. We're all here, and...

But we're going to Green River. Oh.

Look... Look, you're going to Green River.

I'm gonna stay right here.

So, give my, you know, regards to everybody.

(PURRING)

Too bad,

because there's a very, very, very pretty cat there

that you might remember.

My darling baby bubby-bunka-boo.

Mmm.

You convinced me.

What do I gotta do? What do I gotta do?

Uh, it ain't nothing much.

You just gotta pretend to be a dog.

A dog. You got it.

A dog! Tiger!

Anyone can be a god, but it takes grit to be a dog!

WYLIE: So you're the frivolous feline I've got to whip into shape?

Boy, I've got my work cut out for me.

I don't have to listen to this.

I am a god!

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah! Yeah!

(WHISTLING) I don't have to listen to this. I'm a god.

(LAUGHS)

Fetch, dog.

Moi?

(SNARLS)

(SCREAMS) (GASPS)

(HUMMING)

(FIEVEL GIGGLING)

(SNIFFS) Hmm.

No, no. All wrong.

What did I... What did I do wrong?

You want me to hold it in my mouth and dribble all over it?

WYLIE: You wanna act like a dog, you gotta think like a dog...

Till you smell like a dog.

No self-respecting dog fetches anything,

unless he's good and feels like it.

You wanna intimidate someone, give them the lazy eye.

Oh, gee, I'm afraid to ask.

Okay, what's the lazy eye?

The lazy eye!

Whoa!

(GASPS) Woof.

Now you do it.

(GRUNTING)

(TIGER YELLING)

Hopeless.

WYLIE: Now, let me see you walk.

(SQUEAKING)

You're... You're wiggling like a French poodle.

Now, get down on all fours and get a snoot full of mother earth.

Ah, yuck! That goes against my grain.

(YELLS)

Now, roll, you varmint. Roll.

Give yourself a dirt bath.

Now you're getting it.

Come on, Tiger. We're rooting for you.

Get up. Suck in your paunch, boy.

(INHALING)

Okay. Now saunter on out there,

one leg in front of the other,

slow and easy.

(DEFLATING)

Ooh! I hurt myself.

WYLIE: Now, if you're gonna act like a dog, you gotta sound like a dog.

Now let's hear you bark.

(SPUTTERS)

Well, go ahead.

Bow-wow.

Bow-wow?

It's more like... Bark!

Bark. (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) No, again.

Woof. WYLIE: Again.

Woof! Rawf!

Raft! Racket!

Rap! Rapscallion! Rumpelstiltskin!

Redintegratio amoris! (LAUGHS)

Oh, this is embarrassing.

Uh, try growling.

(GROWLS)

(MOCK GROWLING)

FIEVEL: Come on, Tiger! We're running out of time.

Now... (ROARS)

Bark! (ECHOES)

Woof, woof!

Bow-wow-wow. Woof, woof. (LAUGHING)

Woof, woof, woof! (GROWLS)

Bark, bark! Bowie-wowie!

Bark-woof, bark-bark-bark.

Woof-woof-woof. Bark-barkie-woof-woof!

Barky-barky, Barky-barky. (BARKING)

Ooh-ahh-ahh. Woof-woof-woof.

Woof!

(GIGGLING)

Ten-hut!

(GROWLS)

(SPURS CLINKING)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

Who?

CAT R. WAUL: Jolly good. Now pay attention.

Cats and gentle mice, lend me your ears.

It is my distinguished pleasure to invite all of you

to share our dinner... Triumph!

Triumph! To share our triumph!

Today we herald in a momentous new feast...

ival!

Feastival... Festival!

To mark this brilliant and illustrious snack occasion,

I will, with these golden scissors,

hereby cut the red ribbon.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Oi, Cat R. Waul, we've come to close you down.

Okay, chaps, it's become necessary to put these dogs

through obedience school. Kill.

Oh, look out behind you, kid.

(SCREAMING)

(CLANKING)

(WHIZZING)

Oh, who's that dog down there with Wylie?

He's got some stuff!

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(CHUCKLES)

TANYA: (GASPS) That's Fievel?

It's too tough, kid. Get out while you still can.

Okay. Toodle-oo.

Hey, Tiger.

Give them the lazy eye!

(INHALES SHARPLY)

CAT: (GASPS) Run for your lives!

(GUNSHOT)

Morons. Trigger the mousetrap!

(GASPS) It's a giant mousetrap!

TANYA: What?

It's a giant mousetrap!

They... They're gonna squash the mice!

TANYA: Oh. Now!

TANYA: (SINGING) Oh, say, can you see you're on a mousetrap?

Stop! You'll crush the diva!

TANYA: Flee! Run, run. Run, everybody!

Run for your lives!

Freeze, you miserable vermin!

Run for your lives!

(BULLET RICOCHETING)

Yee-haw!

(SCREAMS)

Now you freeze, Cat R. Waul!

Don't pull it, kid, or you've seen the last of Ms. Kitty.

Get your hands off me!

(GROWLING) KITTY: Ow! Help! Help!

(BARKING)

Take that!

Oh, ho-ho-ho!

I never taught him that one.

(HUFFING)

You harm one patch of fur on her, and I'll tear you apart,

one leg at a time.

(WHIMPERING)

(SCREAMING)

Ooh. Okay, Wylie.

Let them rip, kid.

Yes, sir, Mr. Burp, sir.

(GRUNTING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

And now...

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

(GROWLING) Revenge!

WOMAN: Oh, pussypoos!

Oh, no!

Come to mommy, darling.

Mommy's going to take care of you for ever and ever and ever!

(LAUGHS)

(MICE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(ALL CHEERING)

Papa, Mama!

Oh, Fievel, my baby!

(LAUGHS)

Our Fievel is not so little anymore.

And a regular western hero. (GIGGLES)

(GASPS)

Now it's time for music. Let's celebrate!

(PLAYS MELLOW TUNE)

(PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE)

(ALL CHEERING)

(GRUNTS) Tiger!

MISS KITTY: Oh, Tiger.

I never taught him that one.

(GASPS)

Wylie.

Here, son. I... I want you to have one of these.

I can't. I'm not a hero like you.

Well, not really. (CHUCKLES)

Well, maybe not.

Maybe a real hero's the last one to hear about it.

But you, you pulled me out of a gutter,

and for that, I owe you some thanks.

Just... Just remember, Fievel,

one man's sunset is another man's dawn.

I don't know what's out there beyond those hills.

But if you ride yonder, head up, eyes steady, heart open,

I think one day you'll find that

you're the hero you've been looking for.

(WOMAN SINGING)