Original subtitles

Beth, hey.

Can you let me up?

I'm locked out of my apartment and I lost my wallet and my keys and...

No, you can't come up right now.

Is someone up there with you?

No.

Is it him?

Look, Beth, I... I'm locked out and I've had the worst night of my life and I...

If you help me, I'll leave you alone.

Okay?

Both of you.

I feel sorry for you, Tommy.

I do.

Have you ever been lied to by someone you trusted completely?

Just had your little heart torn out and shoved down your throat?

Trust me.

It's not nearly as fun as it sounds.

I hate to admit it, but I was totally blindsided by the whole thing.

And I deal with the best liars in the world every day.

I've shorted another $100,000.

That's right, every sale is a good one.

Take that friend off the fucking table.

I mean, don't go this morning and bite your fucking eyes off.

Okay, talk to you later.

Leave his hours off 30%.

Top line is flat.

It's not my fault you own this dodgy stuff.

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

You're in good hands.

Half a million Johnny John to travel.

Who's in?

This girl is a fucking maze.

Is anybody gonna get me fucking done on the Cisco, please?

Make some calls for me, please.

Yeah, I'll... just hold for me.

Hey, you're done at $50 on the figure.

Jen will call you with the report, all right?

Did you get that $50,000?

Calling her now?

My whole system just crashed again.

Where is Iceman?

You sent him out for coffee?

Hey, Shakes, am I filling that Microsoft yet, or...?

I'm working on it.

Where the fuck is my latte?

Probably still with Iceman.

Shakespeare.

It's fucking Microsoft.

Just put it up.

Okay.

Bobby, stay with me, all right?

He's working, and I'll have him done soon.

What is the point of having an Army geek computer nerd if he is never fucking here?

Princeton diploma and three years in the Air Force, but to good use.

Thank you, Daniel.

That's 63 cents change.

Listen, Daniel, my computer has crashed again.

Would you mind taking a look when you get the chance?

Well, did you check and see if you just kicked out the bug again?

It was kind of acting up before.

Well, thanks, soldier.

You know, when I first started, he used to send me to McDonald's every day.

Double quarter pounder with cheese, whole of the pickles.

Doesn't really bother me that much.

You won't be here in a year if you keep on serving coffee to that prick.

Well, I like working with computers, but to be honest, the stuff that I'm doing

here, I'd rather do what you do at some point.

This is the saddest story I have ever heard.

Thus begins the classic novel, The Good Soldier, and one of the most

memorable first lines in modern fiction.

Well, that sounds about as fun as date rape.

No kidding.

I vote for Lolita.

Then it's sex with minors by a landslide.

Can we read The Good Soldier next, though?

Can't we read something with a happy ending?

This is New York City.

The only happy endings are in Chinatown.

No offense.

None taken.

I'm Korean.

Are you really?

No.

What's wrong with you people?

Have a good night, Tommy.

You too.

For all the excitement and glamour, life in the big city does have its downside.

I mean, if you thought Wall Street was full of

bullshitters, you should try having a relationship here.

And maybe it's like this everywhere nowadays,

but it just feels like a war zone here sometimes.

I know everyone has some kind of a history.

It's not like I've always been a saint.

I guess I just hope things would be different with Beth.

You've been dating for two months and you still haven't had sex.

You made Rich wait about two hours.

Maybe your first time with him could be in Italy.

You never know.

That would be lovely.

Cheesy.

What would you do if Rich left his wife?

Where did that come from?

I hope I'm not interrupting.

Oh, hey.

No, we were just talking about shopping.

I'm sure you were.

Yeah.

Oh, you know Jordan.

This is Lisa, Susan, and Jill.

Hi.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Would you guys like to go grab a drink with us?

My treat?

Oh, thanks.

But we're meeting my boyfriend Bill and some of his friends.

From Facebook.

Bye.

He's adorable.

He's hot.

If you don't do him, I will.

Okay.

Bye, Tommy.

Nice to meet you.

Have fun.

What was she whispering to you?

Maybe I'll tell you in Italy.

Do you think it means something that we're both left-handed?

We'd only need one pair of scissors if we moved in together.

Isn't it a little early to be talking about sharing scissors?

Does it bother you that I'm not doing anything amazing with my life?

There's plenty of time for that.

Yeah, but I don't want to end up like my boss Cash.

You know, like almost 50.

Nothing to show for a bad marriage and an awesome set of golf clubs.

Yeah.

My boss is 42 and she's never been married or anything.

I don't think she's ever even been in love.

Have you?

I thought so.

But I think that when somebody turns out to be completely

different than what you thought, it doesn't really count.

Hmm.

What happened with your last girlfriend?

Christy.

Just wasn't right.

You want to get that?

Yeah, no.

Thought he stopped calling.

He did.

He started again.

We all have a past, Beth.

It's how you deal with it.

I just got off the phone with the people on the Battery Park dig.

They uncovered an old wall that I think could

be from the original Dutch settlement here.

Oh, my God.

That's amazing.

Well, they're not going to see it that way once they realize it's going to set their

construction back a few months while we excavate.

Oh, and Beth, this could be something worth presenting in Florence.

What the fuck do you want me to do, Robert?

I am here for you.

I got a hot one.

This guy's killing me.

God, I love the mute button.

There are five other calls I can make here, Tommy.

You gotta release me.

I understand that, Bobby.

Just give me one second, okay?

Yes, sir.

Hey, Shakes.

This guy's a really good client.

You can't just put this up for me.

I don't care if he's the fucking Pope.

How do I know he's not going to fuck me over?

I'm hanging up, Tommy.

Okay, one call.

Then you can go and let every other loser on Wall Street fuck this up for you, okay?

Fine.

But keep me on the wire and don't fucking mute me, okay?

Baker, didn't you say you had a big cellar the other day?

Yeah, Pacific.

We're still in the penalty box with him.

Okay, you know what?

Give him to me.

Page five.

You know you guys are still cut off, right?

Hey, this is actually Tom Fielding.

I run the sales desk over here.

How you doing, Tom?

John Caldwell.

I was calling just to ask you a yes or no question.

Is that all right?

Fine.

Are you potentially interested in trading Microsoft today?

Yes or no?

Potentially.

But not with you guys.

Bobby, this is going to happen.

Now, just... Just FYI, I have a guy looking for a pretty big chunk.

Maybe half a mil.

Does that interest you?

Potentially.

Sure.

Unfortunately, John, I don't have the luxury of a lot of time here.

My guy's real.

He's on the phone for one call.

And that's you.

Half a mil?

On the wire.

Last print.

In or out?

Put it up.

Great.

Now, this is just me asking, would you be able to go larger?

Hey, half a mil?

Trying to go bigger?

Are you trying to front run me?

No.

You just got to trust me just a little bit, okay, John?

Two million.

Could go to two million here.

No, Bobby, it's not Bill Gates on the line.

He's a mutual fund guy just like you.

Well, he's got a lot more hair and he's a little better looking.

Fine.

Make it read two.

Okay.

Is two million your total picture?

Why?

Is he trying to move more?

Come on.

What's he saying?

Are we done here?

Let's go.

Is he trying to move more?

All right, gentlemen, I'm on the phone with both of you right now.

I think this ticket reads five million and we all walk away.

Would that be on a clean up?

No, it wouldn't.

Why don't we head more behind that?

You're a genius.

Seriously, Bobby, is this a clean up for you?

No bullshit.

Five million?

I'd go home and fuck my Polish housekeeper twice.

It's a clean up, John.

Okay, fine.

Put it up.

But, oh, Tom?

You'll still be in the box for a week, though.

Cross of five million clean.

See how far a little trust can get you?

The Bargello and Academia are great, but skip the Afibafi.

What about those Botticellis and Michelangelo's only oil painting?

There's a reason he stopped after one.

It's just for tourists.

I am a tourist.

Hi.

Is everything okay?

Why?

What happened?

Funding constraints.

The agency cut all international travel.

So, what's the good news?

How would you like to be head of urban conservation?

You're quitting?

Not here.

In San Francisco.

Hey, where were you?

Oh, I couldn't find you.

I'm sorry, I just changed now and I'm on the way.

Are you still up?

It's 10 o'clock.

What happened?

You know, if I have to listen to one more hedge fund douchebag talk to me about

private jet timeshares, I swear to God I'm gonna shoot myself in the face.

Yeah.

Well, my trip got canceled today.

Grab your stuff and meet me downstairs.

Huh?

Grab your stuff.

Where are we going?

Don't worry about it.

Hi.

Can I step out?

Maybe.

One big step up.

Right there.

I'm gonna take this off you.

You gotta keep your eyes closed, okay?

Are you sure we're still in the city?

Yeah, just... just...

Here.

There we go.

Okay.

Eyes closed.

I'm keeping an eye on you.

Sad.

No peeking.

I'm not.

I saw that.

What?

You peek again, I'm gonna take you home.

Keep them closed.

Okay.

Almost there.

All right, turn this way.

Now open your eyes.

Oh my God.

Where are we?

It's as close to Tuscany as I could get in Manhattan.

Come on.

Come on.

This way.

It gets better.

Come on.

This is so beautiful.

How did you find this place?

You know, I gotta keep some surprises.

Sorry your trip got canceled.

Thank you.

One more surprise.

May I have this dance?

Yes.

Wait.

I think I have something.

I just didn't want to be one of those girls who sleeps with a lot of guys.

I don't want you to sleep with a lot of guys.

All right.

I'll do it.

Another way.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, Frank.

You are all done for the day.

No, thank you.

That is 100,000 CRM to Williams for the day.

And Shakespeare.

Have I ever told you how handsome you are?

Somebody's in a good mood today.

Tell me.

Yep.

Got a second?

So what's up?

I got an offer from another firm.

About twice what I'm making here.

I don't know what to say.

I mean, I'd hate to lose you, but if I go to cash with this, especially right now,

the way things are, you might agree to a little kiss, but a double?

No way.

I know.

I figured.

All right, look.

You got to do what's right for you.

Are you thinking about taking it?

You already did.

Well, man, what can I say?

It's been a great run.

It's going to be tough to replace you.

I like that a lot.

Listen, I got to go, okay?

You know, you hang up first.

No, you hang up.

Twenty-one-year-old physical therapist.

Thousand bucks a month for a studio on the Upper East Side.

A home run.

Sounds like it.

You got to see her.

She's so fucking hot.

You should invite her to your place for the mid-year dinner.

Yeah.

She can sit right next to my wife.

Can you imagine?

Who are you bringing, hot shot?

Is that Christy girl still in the picture?

No, Beth.

You met her at the golf event?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Let Brunette.

It wouldn't fuck you.

Listen, I...

Can I just talk to you off the desk just for a second?

So she did fuck you.

How long was that?

Two months or something?

Jesus, that girl is your sexual Vietnam.

Not saying a word.

And so you just let him walk out?

He's your top guy for two years.

He already took the job.

He didn't want to make a scene.

Well, there's going to be a big fucking scene tomorrow when 20 of our biggest

accounts call and no one's answering the fucking phone.

We'll hire someone else.

That will take weeks.

Okay?

And I fucking chewed on me talking to him.

I could have convinced that fucking cocksucker to stay.

They guaranteed him $2 million a year for two years, plus upside.

How much are we paying him?

$750 this year.

A buck tops.

Yeah, okay, we were too low.

All right, Mr. Head of Sales, what's your contingency plan?

I'm sure you have one.

I think Daniel can step up.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

That guy couldn't sell vagina on a pirate ship.

He's smart.

He's honest.

He's too fucking honest.

He's a fucking retarded boy scout.

And that is exactly what you said about Shakespeare.

Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy.

Why are guys like us good at our job?

Because people like us.

We take them out.

They have a good time.

They might even meet a real live girl.

Daniel is a lovely fella.

He's as much fun as chlamydia.

I'm telling you this will work.

Let me remind you the value we place on human capital here at Morgan Brothers.

Your future... I understand.

Your future depends on the depth and the quality of the team that you build.

Now in light of that, I'll ask you once.

Is Daniel your guy?

I'm telling you this chick I'm banging, HR, said he was

discharged early from the Air Force and they sealed his body.

Yes!

Hey!

Look, all I'm saying is we need someone to fill Baker's spot immediately.

And if we let Cash pick one of his guys, we're all gonna be watching our asses.

I'm just not buying this nice guy act, alright?

Nobody joins the military, much less Wall Street,

without having, you know, some kind of a dark side.

You're right.

Wall Street is no place for an ambitious white male.

Of questionable integrity.

Well, I think it's gonna be great.

Yeah, of course you do, Stevenson.

Finally someone on the desk that gets less ass than you.

Alright, that settles it.

I'm leaving my wife at the door.

Ten years and I'm moving in on Steve-O's couch.

I said you could have my couch.

Did you say ten years?

You get married when you're like twenty-four?

Yeah, I met her when I was twenty-two.

I got married at twenty-four.

Christ, I'm a fuck.

You know, it's just different.

I'm sure I'll be there soon enough.

Yeah.

Alright, I'm late.

Hey.

We're doing this whole system upgrade and you

can only reset the servers after you guys leave.

Plus the new software rollout.

It's taking forever.

Right, Daniel.

You know Chris Baker is no longer with the firm, right?

Yeah, I heard.

That sucks.

Yeah, it does.

Um, we've been talking and we thought that

you'd be the right guy to step into his spot.

Start immediately.

Wow.

Yeah, wow.

He's got a lot of big accounts to fill.

Don't worry.

We'll split them up.

This is a bit of a sink or swim business, mate.

You know, opportunities like this, they don't come knocking off you.

Yeah.

Look, I mean, we'll all be there to help you out until you get your legs under you.

You know, you're gonna be an old pro in no time.

Alright.

We got you.

Thanks.

Thanks, Tommy.

I'm gonna let you guys down.

Good.

Sorry, guys.

Couldn't resist.

Here.

Don't worry about it.

Drink it.

Love it.

No, no.

I fucking hate tequila.

Tommy, you know that.

This is the good stuff.

It doesn't even taste like tequila.

Jeez.

Here's to Daniel.

Alright.

Come on board.

Ooh.

That fucking tastes like tequila.

Tastes like honey.

I'm just saying that if I were black, I just want to be called black, you know?

Sounds so cool.

Why would you say that?

African American just sounds awkward and lame.

Why would you say that?

Okay, I'm allowed to speculate about how I might feel.

I'm also ethnic.

I mean, do you really ever be called African American?

You mean despite the fact that I am a migrant?

Right.

Right.

Okay, so... In England, what do they call a black man?

English.

Who are you bringing to Cash's Mid-Year Dinner?

Who am I bringing?

Yeah.

Oh, this church is hot.

I didn't know I was supposed to bring a taste.

I was supposed to go.

I didn't even know I was supposed to go.

Okay.

Saturday.

Homework.

Tomorrow.

You guys.

Me.

I gotta go.

A little more.

It doesn't have to be anything special.

Ladies.

Any chance, ladies?

Sir, where are we going to go now?

Any chance.

Whatsoever.

I don't know, okay?

But it's Tuesday.

I can't stay out past 3.

Uh, 84th and 5th, please.

Hey.

How's it going with the new guy?

He's fine.

Just, uh, he's one of those lost souls that kind of

dropped off the grid for a little bit to find himself.

I'm not so sure it worked.

Why do you want to hire him, then?

Oh, I mean, he's smart.

He's a fucking computer genius.

I mean, maybe all those, uh, stupid army training commercials were true.

Hey, so you coming over?

I wish I could.

I just...

I gotta get up early tomorrow to cover for Chris Baker.

I'll call you tomorrow, though.

I promise, okay?

Okay.

Night.

Please stop checking on me.

Have you even talked to anybody yet?

I feel like a total perv.

The last girl I talked to was in the prenatal care unit.

Hey, bookstore was your idea.

I know, it's just... not everyone is good at this stuff.

All right, Daniel, you are a great guy, okay?

Any woman in this city would be lucky to talk to a guy like you.

Oh, my God.

I see this girl that just got in a line.

There you go.

Now go talk to her.

I can't.

What do I say?

I don't... I don't know.

It'll come to you.

Just move before someone else gets in line in front of you.

Where in Italy are you going?

Oh, I'm not.

I'm just returning this.

That's too bad.

It's amazing there.

Yeah.

My trip there just got canceled, so that's not really what I need to hear, but.

Yeah.

Did I say amazing?

I meant awful.

It's full of Italians.

Does that help at all?

Really?

Well, you know what?

You should keep it and put it in a place where you'll see it all the time,

and that way you'll always be reminded about how much you want to go.

That might be the worst idea I've ever heard.

Yeah, but you know you'd end up going.

You know what they say.

If you forget your dreams, it's like they never existed.

Who says that?

Uh, nobody.

I just made that up.

But it's true.

Next.

Oh.

You go ahead.

I, um, think I might keep it, actually.

Thanks.

Next on line, please.

You should...

Sir?

Uh... Thank you.

Oh.

Not in the book.

So, question is, which one of the three women did he hire?

The one who redecorated the office.

Wrong.

The one who doubled their sales.

No.

Daniel?

Uh, then the one who loves children?

No.

The one with the biggest tits.

Uh, that's, uh, must be how Larry got the job.

Well, look at these man boobs that I was in, huh?

Uh...

Hey, Daniel, you got any jokes?

Yeah, let's hear from the new guy.

Oh, I can never remember any jokes.

Oh, come on.

You gotta know at least one.

Hey, come on, Daniel.

Well...

I guess I can think of one, but...

It's so stupid.

Come on.

Go ahead.

Tell her.

Okay.

What do you call a fish with two knees?

I don't know.

What?

A toonie fish?

Like tuna, but...

You have to think about it.

I'd say, uh, that's, uh, that's a classic.

Sexy.

That one, yeah.

But, uh, where are we going tonight?

Uh, should we just hit the usual petting zoo?

No.

No strip clubs tonight.

Let's meet some civilians.

Yeah, hey.

Hey, Daniel?

You know any girls who'll meet us out?

Yeah, who you got on speed, though?

I don't know a lot of women I can just call up.

Like that.

Well, okay.

Well, where's the hot spot?

You know, Wednesday nights.

A Wednesday?

I don't really go out much on Wednesdays anymore.

Ain't anymore.

This guy.

Animal.

Mm.

What?

I'm okay.

Pick up the phone.

Say hello.

Go ahead.

Pick it up.

There's no one there.

Humor me.

Hello?

Good.

Hang it up and do it again.

Hello.

Very nice.

Pretty easy, huh?

Really fucking easy.

But I don't pay my sales in millions of dollars to answer the phone.

I pay them to make it ring.

Billy Simmons called today.

He doesn't want Daniel to cover them.

Any idea why?

They're very different people.

You are on... Tommy, sit the fuck down.

You are only going to bat for that guy because you know that you will own him.

You can fool everybody else, Tommy, but you can't fool me.

He's the type of guy I want on my team.

He's honest, loyal... Like Chris Baker?

Make no mistake, Daniel will throw you under

a fucking bus the first day he gets a chance.

This is not sleep-away camp, Tommy.

Your job is to make me rich.

Period.

Now, however you're going to get that guy a fucking personality, you better do it

faster or I'm going to fire his Rain Man ass and

get somebody in here who does want to take your job.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I just... I crashed last night.

Cash is killing me about Daniel.

Really?

What's wrong with him?

He's like forest fucking gunk.

Without the people skills.

I don't know.

I'm heading to Soho right now to work on him.

I thought we were going to spend the day in the park.

Beth, please.

I'm being pulled in a ton of different directions right now.

Fine, but...

I need to be a priority, too, sometimes.

I'll call you later.

I promise.

It doesn't matter what you talk about at first.

Just show the woman that you are passionate about something.

Like what?

It's your life.

Can you tell me?

I don't know.

Okay, you like to read, right?

Yeah.

What do you love to read?

Dickens, Tolstoy.

I like Jane Austen.

Okay, classics.

Might be a little brainy to start out with.

So, let's see what else.

What else?

I can give you the flight specs for every domestic aircraft since 1950.

Classics.

Let's talk more about those.

And talk about books she might like.

But be careful, because you can't act, look, and talk all like the same guy.

You got to mix it up.

What does that mean?

Just, if you were a surfer, be a surfer who likes to read.

If you're a dork, be a dork who likes to salsa dance, you know?

If you act boring and you look boring, guess what?

You're boring.

What are you doing?

Tommy, this sounds ridiculous.

It's totally fucking ridiculous.

I'm not telling you the way things should be.

I'm telling you how they are.

And unfortunately, a woman within three seconds is going to notice whether or not

your shoes match your pants, or your shirt's buttoned up too high, or it's

tucked in when it shouldn't be, or you have a cell phone attached to your woven belt.

Look, when you were overseas, didn't you find any, like, really cool clothes?

Want me to wear a sarong to work?

Look, I can't stand guys that try to make a statement with what they wear.

It's not me.

Daniel, I'm not trying to turn you into some big

city man cougar prick like Cash or any of those guys.

All I'm saying is, unfortunately, what you wear doesn't make a statement to women.

And your statement right now is, Hi, welcome to Blockbuster.

We're going in.

Can you help this guy out?

What did you have in mind for little Tommy Hilfiger here?

Just something he can wear on public.

I'm right here, guys.

I can hear what you're saying.

Maybe something casual sexy.

Sounds about right.

How sexy?

Medium.

Or small.

Sexy.

Tommy, you didn't have to pay for this.

Nah, it's worth it.

Hey, I forgot my clothes.

Yeah, leave them.

But those have been in our public.

Exactly.

Ow!

Ow!

You still haven't told Tommy about San Francisco?

Ow!

Fuck.

I keep putting it off.

Ow!

It would just put so much pressure on things.

Yeah, but you're running out of time.

Ow!

God, I hope my fucking vibrator appreciates this.

Hey, isn't Lisa supposed to be here?

I don't know, maybe she didn't want to have her vagina torn off.

Hello?

Um, hey.

Hey, where are you?

I'm home.

Ow!

Can you guys come over?

Um, yeah, what's wrong?

Oh, bitch fucker!

Bill left his email account open on his computer.

We'll be right there.

Don't go early.

Don't go early.

Don't go early.

Ow!

Son of a bitch!

Steve-o, you're at like a ten.

I need you down at a, uh, a shut the fuck up.

Fuck right off, okay?

Come on, let's go again.

Does it hurt that bad?

There you go.

Shut.

Refill.

Jesus.

All right, now.

Everybody ready?

Everybody listen.

Listen.

Daniel?

Yes?

What have you learned today?

To show your customers that they want something that you have and...

No sales pitch, right?

People see that shit coming a mile away, right?

How do you do it?

Ow!

Fuck me!

What is wrong with the American people?

I don't know!

How do you, how do you do it?

How do I do it?

Yeah.

Never kiss someone's ass, all right?

You're better off just fucking with them.

It's a lot more fun.

Okay, so, first thing Monday morning, I'm gonna call all my accounts and say,

hey, you fat fucks, do you want to buy some stock?

Was that a joke?

It was bad.

I'm sorry.

You're not even listening.

I need you to focus, okay?

Sorry.

All right.

And stop apologizing so much.

I'm sorry.

Shit.

Look, the reason these rules are important is because they're the same rules that

apply to meeting women, which is even more important for you to learn.

Wait.

Women don't actually like being insulted.

That's...

That's misogynist bullshit.

No.

What women hate is getting lied to by guys who are just trying to sleep with them.

What if I'm not just trying to sleep with them?

Then you're gay.

Ah!

Fuck!

Oh, my God!

That actually hurts a lot!

I had to get him distracted.

Here's to Iceman.

Not learning anything.

Ever.

That's a horrible game.

I think my sperm count is officially lower.

Let's do it again.

All I'm saying is that, obviously, something was

really wrong if you were already that suspicious.

Oh, but that doesn't give me the right to go snooping around like that.

Oh, will you listen to yourself?

Your boyfriend cheats on you and you're mad at yourself for catching him.

People do make mistakes, Jordan.

Locking your keys in the car with your girlfriend.

Where the engine running is a mistake.

Repeatedly fucking your ex-girlfriend is not a mistake.

Jordan, come on.

He said it was only the one time.

That is such bullshit.

Infidelities are like cockroaches.

For every one you catch, there are a hundred you don't.

Hey, you're not helping her right now.

Can you just be supportive and not turn this into some stupid male-bashing session?

Where's Tommy tonight?

Do you know what your problem is?

You wouldn't know what to do if a great guy just threw himself at you.

At least I'm not the one who threw himself at you.

I'm giving myself a chance to be happy.

Maybe use your sensitive side.

Chill that off.

Yes.

Use the fact that you are a complete pussy to your advantage.

Coming from the guy that brought the pinata in the blindfold.

He hit the thing.

What's pink?

Uh, Xanax, man.

You can take whatever you want and you'll sleep like a rock.

Yellow.

Yellow is ecstasy.

I left my glow sticks back in 1997.

What's blue?

Blue is Viagra.

It's perfect for you.

I'm good.

Thanks.

Uh, no, my friend.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Power up, okay.

Like the ladies expect it these days.

Now take a mic or gun fight.

Gun fight.

Nice metaphor.

Don't listen to these guys.

Ready to be released into the wild?

He's beautiful.

You think so?

Yeah.

Should uh, you should tell her.

Do you have water?

Yeah.

I'm sure she gets hit on all the time though.

You're probably right.

She probably does get hit on all the time.

A guy who don't actually care... you know, if she's a Gemini or what her cat's name

is, I know what your name is, but I'm not

asking you to go over there and feed her a line.

I just want you to go talk to her.

You keep telling me what I'm not supposed to do.

I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

I'm in the low self-esteem business.

If a girl's parents are still together, I just move on.

It doesn't really matter what I say to women.

I have an English accent.

You know what?

All right.

Two girls, end of the bar.

Go talk to her.

What, right now?

Yeah, right now.

Which one do you like better?

I don't know.

Blonde, I guess?

Rookie.

Totally.

No questions.

No questions.

Just go.

Go!

Wait, come back.

Come back.

What?

That.

Right there.

What is that?

I told you about that.

Okay.

Now go.

Do you actually believe any of that shit you just said?

Some of it.

You think he's gonna pull it off?

Not a fucking prayer.

Excuse me.

Pass me a napkin, please.

Oh.

Re-entry.

I feel stupid.

You look stupid.

Okay, so let me get this straight, Daniel, okay?

You could fly a jet, right, at Mach 3 speeds for like 72 hours with a plastic

tube up your cock, but you can't go talk to two dental hygienists for ten seconds.

Actually, I was an abiotic engineer.

No.

We never had plastic arms.

No excuses.

You gotta be able to do this.

You have to.

What about that one over there?

Oh, totally gross.

And what about the blonde over there?

I want to touch her where she pees.

That is a good-looking white girl.

Ring.

Ring.

Oh, fuck, right.

Oh, how about that one?

That's a handsome woman.

Look at her ass.

She might as well have a tail, and she's ugly.

You know, some people might say the way you guys talk about women is ugly.

Yeah, but we're only ugly on the inside, so it's okay.

Ooh, that... that is a beautiful woman.

She totally wants to have a sexy party with you.

She does not want to have a sexy party with you.

She wants to have a sexy party with you.

Steve-o, fine.

Go ahead.

Talk to her.

But... None of that shock and awe bullshit you usually pull.

Someone has to show Danny how to do this, okay?

I don't do that shit anymore, okay?

Oh.

Okay, none of that scorched-earth bullshit.

I'm serious.

Well, hello there, rodeo.

Who's up for Jagerbomb?

I don't think she's having it, mate.

How about you go talk to her?

I don't think Cindy Brady's coming over to the dark side tonight.

I'm gonna go take a hot nap.

Thanks for the help, Jakes.

Well... Your turn.

Your turn.

No.

Okay, fine.

Okay.

But remember, this is not about sexy parties or taking... Whatever.

Just go talk to her.

I'm gonna get a front row seat.

Okay?

I'm Steven, by the way.

I'm Brooke.

Great.

You look really professional up there.

By which I mean, like, hot.

Like, really.

Hot.

I'm an actor.

Who's the bartender?

I hope I'm not interrupting.

Yeah, you're actually coming.

Not at all.

Hi.

Sorry.

Hi.

Tommy.

Yeah.

This is...Blake.

I'm Brooke.

Brooke.

Brooke.

Brooke.

Tommy.

Yeah.

So how do you two know each other?

Oh.

We work.

We... You write children's books, too?

Yeah.

He does, uh, instructional guides for swing sets.

Um...

Well... I don't know.

I don't know.

That's my...

Obviously, I'm not gonna have sex with this

girl tonight, so why don't you give it a shot?

I am so sorry about that.

What?

An asshole.

Yeah.

I, uh... What?

You guys work on Wall Street?

Yeah.

We do.

But not all of us are, like...

Like, you know what?

Let's start over.

I am Tommy.

And I owe you a drink.

I'm Brooke.

Pleasure to meet you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with bulimia at all.

If anything, it shows your willingness to re-evaluate

your decisions and be proactive about making changes.

You don't sound black at all.

Are you from Europe?

Here goes Jonathan!

He breaks the record.

Yeah!

There he goes!

This looks innocent.

It looks like heroin added.

Okay.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

You know something?

Get there!

What if he really is sorry?

Everyone is sorry once they're caught.

It doesn't mean anything.

It's true.

Rich said he would leave his wife after I found out he was married.

Well, it's fair in love and war.

You're retarded.

This is just a bullshit excuse people use to screw whoever they want.

They need to go on time and obey for relationships.

I'd want to bore the fuck out of my ex and love git now.

Good for you.

This is for work.

Hey, you know what?

Tommy just hired a new guy on his desk.

Really?

Is he cute?

He didn't say.

Which actually probably means he's cute.

I'll find a way to bring him around.

Put this on.

Do I really have to go out with you guys?

Yes.

Whose bachelorette party is this anyway?

Look, I just felt that if we had met under different circumstances just a few weeks

ago, this could have been something, like, really amazing.

I mean... I know.

It's crazy.

Isn't it?

Yeah.

I love you.

Thank you.

That could have been bad news bears.

Bad.

Here's where things started to get complicated.

Brooke lost her purse that night at the bar.

Her phone, her keys, everything.

She asked if she could crash on my couch and call a locksmith in the morning.

I know I really could have just put my foot down, but...

I didn't.

I'm gonna get going.

Okay.

Thanks.

No sweat.

I've always believed that trust is the single

most important thing in a relationship.

But given that nothing happened, I decided not to tell death.

Hey, hot shot.

Cash, good to see you.

Hello, Beth Ma.

You're more lovely than I remember.

Oh, aren't you a sweet talker.

Look at that.

That necklace is gorgeous.

Look at that thing.

That was a gift, actually.

Was it?

You picked that out?

Yes, I did.

I'm shocked.

Oh, you haven't met Beth yet, have you?

Not officially.

I'm surprised at your taste.

She's really nice.

Yeah.

What can I get you, my darling?

I'm sure.

Okay, who takes the same bus to work every day?

No, what are you talking about, man?

Steven's wife is beautiful.

All I'm saying is he passed up 20 good years of man-holing.

He could have put up Wilt Chamberlain numbers and then retired.

Yeah, he looks miserable.

Anyone need a drink?

I thought you came here with Tommy.

Yeah.

So how long have you guys been dating?

It's been three months now.

But that long?

No, he didn't realize that.

Time flies.

Can I have a Coke, please?

Oh, will you excuse me for a second?

Sure.

Thank you.

Hitting the hard stuff, huh?

Yeah.

Saving the table dancing for the holiday party.

You must be Daniel.

That's so funny.

I'm Beth, Tommy's girlfriend.

Figured.

Well, it's nice to meet you.

You too.

Again.

Again.

You look different.

Uh...

So how did you and Tommy meet again?

I was out one night with my friend Jordan and he was obviously on a date.

That's trouble.

Yeah.

Well, he left.

But he came back in the restaurant and told me that he wanted to be talking to me.

And ever since then...

Tommy, he's a great guy.

Yeah, he's great.

Tommy says you're a big reader.

What's your favorite book?

Well, have you ever read Pride and Prejudice?

Really?

See, you're laughing.

No, it's just...

Why do guys always pick that book?

I mean, is it in a manual somewhere on how to speak to women or...

No, I like it because it shows how wrong first impressions can be, you know?

And also the main character, Elizabeth Bennet.

It sounds stupid, but she's like my ideal woman.

Have you ever read Lolita?

Lolita, my sin, my soul, standing four feet ten in one sock.

Hey, you should come to my book club on Tuesday night.

I think it would be really great to have a guy for this one.

What about Tommy?

Oh, Tommy would never come.

Plus, there's kind of a no-boyfriend rule.

Yeah, sounds like fun.

I'm gonna have to politely decline, though.

Oh, come on.

Just you and five cute girls and a lot of wine.

Hey, Tommy.

Hey!

See, you saved me the trouble of introductions.

Yeah, good timing.

You have to convince Daniel to come to my book club.

Book club?

Yeah.

That sounds like a great idea.

Really?

Why?

Well, first of all, you would be talking to actual women, even if it is about books.

Well, come on.

I'm sure he does just fine with the ladies, don't you?

Not really.

No.

And secondly, it would give me endless opportunities to fuck with you.

That's why I don't think it's a really good idea.

Morning, soldier.

Morning.

What are you reading?

Just a book.

What book?

Nothing.

What book?

What is the...

Friday.

Put that away.

Jesus.

What are you, carpooling with Oprah?

She reminds me of the character in the book.

You're doing really lovely with those language tapes, Jan.

So when you say cute, do you mean like little

kid with gum in his hair cute or Brad Pitt cute?

Somewhere in between.

See, I don't want this turning into some lame episode of The Bachelor.

Hey, I thought women were supposed to love men in uniforms.

Yeah.

Government salaries and post-traumatic stress really do tend to be nasty.

Yeah.

And we've met Tommy's work friends.

No, but he's nothing like those guys.

If anything, he's too old fashioned.

What, he still prefers vaginal sex?

Oh, old school.

Yeah.

Oh, you said you invited him later.

I did.

Oh, oh, I need my... Okay, come on, girl.

Just think about this as a tryout.

You guys are pathetic.

You're cute.

Thank you.

Hello?

It's Daniel.

Huh.

He's polite and early.

Yeah, he's gay.

He's not gay.

He was in the military.

Gay?

Yeah, don't ask, don't tell.

Hey.

Hi.

Come on in.

Oh, I, uh, I got you this.

Oh, thank you.

It's wine.

Yeah.

So you'll have to meet everybody.

Daniel, this is, um, Lisa, Jordan, Susan, and Jill.

Hi, everyone.

Hi.

Hi.

Sorry I'm so early.

I...

No, no, we were just having some girl talk.

Just, just sit down.

Well, I can just come back if you guys are... Sit down.

No, please.

Sit.

Come on.

Come on.

And apparently they've never seen a man before.

Ever.

I know it's a classic, but I can't get past this old Euro

trash pervert screwing a 12-year-old from New Hampshire.

It's disgusting.

And the way he bribes her for sex with candy and pocket change.

Daniel, you've been awfully quiet.

Have we scared you out of talking?

Well, I can't disagree with what's been said so far.

Obviously, yeah.

The guy is really troubled and he's... Pervert.

Pedophile.

Let him finish.

Yes, but I believe that he was hopelessly in love.

You know, it doesn't make it okay, but he's not just a pervert.

Yeah, he's a murderer, too.

Okay, right.

Years later, he kills the man that stole his

Lolita, but he loved her more than anything.

Even his own life.

I think that's what love is.

Anything else is just a distraction.

A distraction.

Should we choose another book next time?

Yeah.

Will you be able to join us next time?

Uh, okay, but I kind of got the feeling tonight was sort of a tryout.

Aww.

No.

No.

You passed.

Yeah, sure.

You guys can be like the sisters I never wanted.

Thanks.

Lovely.

Nice.

All right, well then, is everybody okay with a good soldier?

No, I don't really want to read a war novel.

Thank you.

Oh, no.

But it's a love story, isn't it?

Well, here.

This heartbreaking novel of infidelity and betrayal tells

the story of an ex-soldier and seemingly perfect gentleman.

He was just the sort of man you could trust your

wife with, says the tragic narrator of the story.

There you go.

Thanks.

Mm.

Here.

You're a total neat freak, aren't you?

Actually, my apartment's a mess.

Therapy for all those years of me spit-shining my shoes.

I could not picture you in the military.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

You just don't seem very aggressive.

Are you kidding me?

I was an avionics engineer.

Were you?

Yeah.

Super aggressive.

Well, my dad, he was in the Air Force, and the

only way I could afford Princeton was ROTC.

Get up every morning, 6 a.m., do some push-ups.

They pay for school.

Oh.

But you didn't finish your service, right?

Tommy said you dropped out.

I didn't mean it like that.

No, it's, uh, it's okay.

I...

Um, you have to serve four years after college in order to get your loans paid

off, and my commanding officer, he served with

my dad, and after three years, I had some st...

I just had some stuff that happened, and he agreed to get me discharged a year early.

That's good.

I think... No.

No, I was at the time, but now I've got a hundred grand in student loans to pay off.

Oh, God.

A lot of push-ups for nothing.

Wow.

I wouldn't say nothing.

That would be Tommy.

Hey, come on up.

I guess I should get going, huh?

Okay.

Well, I'm so glad you could make it.

And thank you for offering to clean up.

That's nice.

Yeah.

Hey, guys.

How was book club?

That was good.

Are you ever actually gonna want to leave this city?

Someday, yeah.

Come on, babe, it's late.

My aunt and uncle used to be these big-shot lawyers.

Mm-hmm.

Working hundred-hour weeks and never getting to see each other.

One day they just moved to Colorado to run this hot air balloon company.

That's great.

Good for them.

It is.

They take people up to watch the sunset over the Rockies every night.

They get by okay and they get to see each other every day.

And he hasn't thrown her out of the basket yet?

Come on, babe.

Let's go to sleep.

I was offered a promotion in San Francisco.

And can you make sure they arrive this afternoon?

They need to be there when he gets home.

As long as there's a doorman?

Sure.

Did you want to fill out a card?

Yes.

You like flowers.

Why don't you just keep them?

This isn't funny.

Happy anniversary?

This has to stop.

I guess I did meet her about this time last year.

Beth, Beth.

You're mad at me and that's exactly what Christy wants.

This has nothing to do with that.

Of course it does.

We all have a past, remember?

I dealt with mine.

You are not dealing with yours.

What else do you want me to do?

I can get a restraining order.

How does one actually do that?

I'm tired of this, honestly.

Well?

Hi.

What's for dinner?

Um, just peanut butter.

Sandwiches.

All right.

Hey, Tommy and Lisa and I are going for dinner tonight.

What about dinner next week?

We want to invite you along.

I can't.

I didn't even say which night yet.

Uh, no, I just, um, I don't like to be set up.

Oh, well, it's not a set up.

How's Monday night?

We're going for sushi.

It's better than peanut butter.

Yeah, uh, I think I could do Monday.

Okay.

Sure.

Good.

What are you doing home on a Friday night, anyway?

Oh, it's just been kind of a long week.

What's your excuse?

I'm meeting Tommy later.

So, what's your story?

Why don't you have a girlfriend?

Well, my ex-girlfriend, uh, fiancée, she got pregnant while I was serving overseas.

She visited you over there?

No, no, that, that was kind of the problem.

Oh.

Sorry.

No, it's not really the homecoming I'd been

looking forward to for three years, you know?

Right.

So, are you interested in anyone these days?

Interested, like, um, no, no, not... That's a yes.

Who is she?

Do I know her?

I, I don't think you do, Beth.

All right.

Say when.

It's a school night.

Oh, it's okay.

I don't have to be at work until late tomorrow.

So, what was your favorite country that you visited?

Oh, I don't know.

Um, Botswana, maybe?

No, Vietnam.

The people there are so nice, and the beaches are just amazing, and it's like a

million dong to the dollar, so it's really cheap.

A million dongs to a dollar, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Sounds like a good time.

So, what was Botswana like?

Mm.

Okay.

Picture herds of zebra and elephant

literally just stopping traffic on highways.

And, and the, um, the currency there, actually, is

called the pula, which is the same word as rain.

Oh, because of the droughts.

Yeah, exactly.

And, um, the pennies, they're called raindrops.

So poetic.

It is.

Are you drinking?

Oh, no.

Never pour you on sake.

Seven years of bad sex.

That's a fact.

Seven more years, huh?

Oh.

School night.

Let's have a toast.

To Daniel's success in his new job.

And to, uh, Lisa's promotion.

And to Beth for organizing tonight.

Yes.

Here's to everyone.

Except me.

Oh.

Beth, what are you gonna do about that job offer in California?

Well, it's such a great opportunity, but part of me feels like I shouldn't go.

Uh, when, when would you be moving?

Probably in about a month.

Yeah.

I'd miss her like crazy, but it's only plain right.

Right?

Yeah.

I mean, it's, it's not that far.

I just can't make up my mind.

I know how you can figure it out.

This can show you exactly what you want deep down.

Yeah, let's leave all of life's major decisions to a coin toss.

That's brilliant, Daniel.

I don't really believe in luck.

No, no, no.

It's not about luck, okay?

Heads you stay, tails you go.

Yeah, trust me though, okay?

This is ridiculous.

Heads you stay, tails you go.

What do you want it to be?

Stay.

Then that's your answer.

Now, what was it really?

What was it?

It doesn't matter.

Dude, you looked at it.

Come on.

That's not the point.

She knows what she wants, no?

Yeah.

I guess I do.

Thanks for dinner, Tommy.

Yes.

Very generous as always.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

Shit.

I left my credit card inside.

I'll be right back.

I think I'm gonna call it a night.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

Do you want to share a cab?

No.

I'm headed downtown.

You're headed Upper West, right?

Yeah.

Would make sense, you know?

Logistically.

Got it.

What's the plan?

Just gonna call it a night.

Thanks for everything, man.

Really?

Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

You guys have a good night, all right?

All right.

Good night.

Take care.

Thanks.

What's the tenth spot of 45?

I'm not trying to bend you over, okay?

Just grow a pair of nuts and lift me.

Shakespeare, I still need a better bid for an order.

Daniel, you're up on cyberon.

All right, take a report.

A hundred thou?

A nickel better than your order?

Yeah?

Okay, thanks.

Jack, stick with me on this one.

Sure.

Shakespeare, did you hear me?

Just get him to fucking hit me.

All right, Jack, we just got another seller.

It's fill or kill.

What do you want to do?

Great.

I'll have Jen call you with the report.

Have fun in the Hamptons.

Yeah.

Done your way, Shakespeare.

Thank you, Dan and Walt.

Thanks, Dan.

I'm all over it, Dan and Walt.

You know, it's kind of sad if you think about it.

Those guys spend all their time looking for something they're never gonna find.

What, the perfect woman?

Yeah, there's no such thing.

So you've never been tempted, huh?

Well, I mean, of course I've been tempted.

Why does that surprise you?

I can go home at night, I can look at my wife and

my kids in the eye, and I feel like a total fraud.

I mean, to me, that's a good trade.

Daniel, how's it going?

Good to see you, man.

Hi, Daniel.

I'm Christine.

I've heard a lot about you.

Yeah, you too.

Yeah, um, so Daniel and I have a meeting we

gotta get up to, so, uh, I'll see you later.

Okay.

Bye.

Ah.

Sorry about that.

She's a little nuts, and I had to stop her from coming upstairs.

It's okay.

But you show up in the next time.

It's good.

It's good.

Bye.

Oh, and I know you and Beth are becoming real good friends.

I think that's cool and everything.

This is probably something she doesn't need to hear about.

You know?

Unless you're trying to split us up for some reason.

I couldn't be.

You all right?

Yeah.

No...

Hey, Beth.

Hey, where are you?

I'm at home.

Tommy said you guys had an important dinner tonight.

Well, I guess I'm not that important.

So did you, did you find the guy?

Did you finish the book yet?

Yeah, I just did.

I'm not sure how I feel about it, though.

What do you mean?

Well, you kind of just trust the narrator out of habit, you know?

But just as you're getting into it, he just turns out to be full of shit.

Yeah, so?

What's the point of that?

Maybe it's just like real life.

Sometimes people just aren't who you thought they were.

You'd tell me if something were going on with Tommy, right?

Yeah, yeah, if I knew anything.

I mean, there's no stupid guy code or anything, is there?

Don't say anything to Tommy, okay?

No, of course not.

Thanks.

Hey, what are you doing tonight?

Do you want to come get a drink with any more friends?

I can't, Beth.

I'm kind of expecting someone.

Oh.

Okay.

Well, have fun tonight, whatever you're doing.

And, well, not too much fun.

I'll talk to you later.

Okay.

Bye.

Hello?

Delivery for Mr. Daniel.

Yeah, come on up.

You should call Daniel.

What's up with Daniel tonight?

I don't know.

It sounded like he had some hot date coming over.

Uh, yeah, that's not how I doubt that.

Why?

What does that mean?

That guy is totally in love with you.

Why didn't he come tonight, then?

You're his boss's girlfriend.

I'm sure it kills him to be around you.

Shut up.

Oh, my God.

But it's not that surprising.

No, it's over there.

It's crazy Christy.

Tommy's ex?

Yeah.

Which one is she?

She's the little Audrey Hepburn in the red dress.

That's her, isn't it?

Yeah, she's not that pretty.

You need to talk to her.

I don't want to make a scene.

Make a huge fucking scene.

This has gone on long enough.

You're right.

This has gone on long enough.

Uh, can I help you?

Uh, we've never met before, but I, um...

You used to date Tom Fielding, right?

Are you one of Tommy's ex-girlfriends?

Ex-girlfriends?

Um, no.

Tommy and I have been together for three months now.

Nice necklace.

Uh,

should we get the check?

Um, actually, I think I want to stay out tonight.

I mean, we spent the whole day inside.

Yeah, wasn't that great?

Yeah.

Well, all we ever do is stay in and have sex.

This is the first night we met.

I want to go out tonight.

Well, we are out.

Ciao, carissima.

Ciao, Paolo.

Paolo.

Paolo, this is Tommy.

Ah, Tommy.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Oh, Paolo, Tommy speaks Italian, too.

Oh, really?

Yes, a little.

Oh, good.

I don't know anyone in New York who speaks Italian.

Congratulations.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Yeah, it's a little, it's a little loud in here and I'm a little rusty probably,

so... Ah, we speak English then.

Yeah, it's probably better for everyone.

Sure.

So, how do you guys know each other?

Oh, I... Okay.

So, one day, Drew came into my studio to make some photos.

Very nice photos, eh?

Paolo is a genius.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

So, ah, Tommy.

Ah, what is it you do?

Ah, I'm... I work at a bank.

Morgan Brothers.

Sales training, at least.

Oh, I understand.

Wall Street.

I get it.

Money, eh?

Money?

Paolo, when did you get to New York and why didn't you call me?

I'm only here one week.

I mean, tomorrow I have a show opening.

Tonight we're out to celebrate.

I did...

You must join us.

To celebrate.

Tonight.

Oh, come on.

Huh?

Well, you wouldn't mind if I went with them, would you?

Hmm?

I mean, you wanted to go home anyway, right?

You're a trash man.

That's what you want to go home with?

I mean...

Sorry about that.

Have a good evening.

Hey, Samantha.

It's Thomas.

It's about 11 o'clock Saturday night.

I would love to see you.

So give me a call back.

All right.

Amy.

Tom.

Hey.

Saturday night about, uh, about 10.

I'd love to see you.

Jen.

What's your favorite co-worker?

Tommy.

I'd love to see you.

Even if it's late.

Just call me back.

See you.

Bye.

Bye.

I should hear some of the things he says about you.

I think I have an idea.

I spent so much time hating you.

I don't know what to believe.

Hey, Beth.

How's girls' night out going?

Tommy?

I don't want to see you again.

Ever.

Well, wait, Beth, what are you talking about?

That's, uh, where are you?

I know about Kristie, Tommy.

Everything.

What are you... Beth!

This is crazy!

No.

It's not, actually.

Well, not anymore.

Who have you been talking to?

Beth!

Pop!

Hey, you know what, buddy?

Change of plans.

We're gonna be staying downtown.

Mommy.

Hey.

Hey.

What's going on, man?

You, uh...

You haven't spoken to Beth tonight by any chance, have you?

Well, yeah, but I didn't think it was a big deal.

What is a big deal, Daniel?

It's a big fucking deal!

Why?

Because you told her I was fucking Christy!

I don't even know what...

You want to fuck my girl, don't you, you little fucking cunt?

I didn't say anything.

You didn't say anything?

Why would you call her, huh?

She called me.

We talked for two minutes about a book we were reading.

That's it.

Book club.

Yeah.

Oh, now I understand.

You can understand why I misinterpreted that whole situation.

That's really itching, Tommy.

Hurt me as much as it did you.

I'm sure we'll be laughing about it on Monday.

Look, I'll take you out to lunch, okay?

Yeah.

All right, all right.

You think it over?

You get that fixed up?

Monday, we'll straighten this whole thing out.

Oh, thanks so, Tommy.

Daniel.

Come on.

Don't.

Go home, Tommy.

Just go home.

Eighty-fourths and fifths?

Eight dollars twenty, please.

I think I lost my wallet.

Eight dollars twenty, sir.

I think I lost my wallet, sir.

We can go ATM.

No, my cards are in my wallet.

But, you know, I'll tell you what.

I have money upstairs.

If you just wait here for a couple minutes, I'll

run up, I'll grab it, I'll bring it down for you.

Get the fuck out of my taxi.

Hey, Beth.

Hey.

Sorry, um, do you still have company?

No, no, not at all.

Are you, are you okay?

Can I ask you a favor?

You can say no, but, um, please don't say no, okay?

Beth, Beth, I'll be right there.

It's been a while, Tommy.

Evening, Miss Perkins.

The place looks nice.

Did you miss me?

What did you do now?

Call me when you get a chance.

Hey, it's Tommy.

I'm just gonna crash at my place tonight, okay?

You fucking asshole.

Hey.

Hey.

What?

Yeah.

What happened?

I guess Tommy's having a rough night.

Tommy did that?

Why would he... I, I guess he thought that I, that I told you about Christy.

How would you even...

Wow.

Is everybody fucking left-handed?

You knew?

The whole time?

No, not the whole time.

Why didn't you tell me?

I should have.

No, you have your job to think about and your friends.

Beth, I quit my job.

Those aren't my friends.

It's just you.

Hey, baby, you're a little late here.

I know.

I'll make it up to you.

Sorry, baby, but you know it doesn't work that way.

Look, I lost my wallet tonight, and I will make it up to you.

I promise.

Listen, motherfucker.

You will get me my motherfucking money, or I'm gonna fucking scream until the

fucking cops come, and that would fuck you a lot more than it would a motherfucker.

Okay, how about we just calm down?

And, uh, I'll find out a way to get your money for you, okay?

Just, just give me a minute to think about it.

Okay, baby.

Whenever you're ready.

Uh, how's it going?

You can't go up there, son.

I just need to talk to Chrissy for a second.

You're no longer on the guest list.

Herb, look, my man, I'm up there all the time.

Danny, show this man to the door.

I feel sorry for you, Tony.

I do.

Thanks, baby.

Two stops, please.

So, that's how we got here.

It's not pretty, I know.

I really don't have anything left to say for myself.

Maybe that's a start.

So what are you gonna do now?

I don't know.

Chris Baker.

He keeps asking me to join him at his new place, but...

I'm just not sure that's what I wanna do right now.

Have you ever been up in a hot air balloon?

What?

Never mind.

...smiled and said yes.

I think we've met before.

In that instant, it started to pour.

Captured a taxi to the spot over the land.

We drove in silence across Bain-Champagne And all of that time you thought I was sad

Buongiorno, Carissa.

Why did you come back in that restaurant for my number?

I just couldn't be with that other girl and all I wanted was to talk to you.

Whatever happened to her anyway?

When you flipped that coin and I said I wanted to stay I don't think I realized it

then but I was thinking about you when I said it.

I know.

So what was it?

It was what?

Censor tails.

Stay or leave.

That's what I thought.