Original subtitles

- Firstly, she didn't wanna get married

because she thought it would kill our sexual Mardi Gras,

and the sex is dead, and so let's get married.

- We're arguing a lot about everything.

We even argue about how to argue.

- I'm pregnant.

- Do you know what you wanna do?

- No.

- Well then, we'll figure that out together.

- Are you interested in working with me?

- Are you offering me a job on the spot?

- It doesn't matter to you what I think of you?

- Yes.

- Shall I tell you what I think of you?

- No.

- Why did you never offer to gimme an egg?

- Billie, if I donated an egg to you...

- You don't need to gimme anything.

- When we were married,

Patrick had some of his sperm frozen.

I thought it was only fair if I offer it to you

so you can have another child if you wanted.

- You seem fine by yourself.

You don't need a sibling,

but do I keep the sperm just in case?

What would your dad have wanted?

- [Patrick] Nina.

- Yeah?

Patrick, I wish Jodie had never called me.

I wish she just got rid of the sperm and never told me.

- I'm sorry.

- What do you want me to do with them?

- It's up to you. I guess.

Although, well, keeping it wouldn't be

the worst thing in the world, would it?

Hey.

- Build some words here.

I wanna show you something new.

- Don't do this, Nina.

Don't imagine this.

- I have to decide.

- Well, maybe Zoe should have a sibling.

It's not like you're in a relationship at the moment.

- You don't know that.

- I do.

- Well, I'm the one who has to explain to any future partner

that I've kept the sperm of the dead love of my life.

- You don't need to explain anything to anyone

if you don't want.

And you might not even use them.

- That's true.

- But you might.

Either way, it's best if you keep them.

- Maybe you're right.

- And who knows?

If you do keep them, life could be so much more fun.

Hello.

- [Nina] You're doing it again.

This is a fantasy family that could never happen, never.

What happened to living in the real world, Nina?

♪ Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, ah ♪

♪ Won't you bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips, oh, oh, bring your hips to me, to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips to me, oh, bring your hips ♪

♪ Oh, oh, bring your hips to me, to me ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, ah won't you see ♪

(elevator dings)

- What about Korean baths?

- [Nina] What?

- For the bucks night.

- No.

- They come to your house and walk all over your back.

All right. Paint ball.

- No.

- [Kim] Your nine o'clock's running late.

- Fencing camp.

- Someone from the Gray Street Fertility Clinic called.

- Oh.

- Are you guys still looking for-

- Meat fest barbecue.

Eight different animals on your barbecue.

- Because I've had this idea.

- What about wrestling?

- Wrestling, eh?

- Martin, we don't have to do anything too out there.

- Ah, jungle drumming.

(drums beating rapidly)

- Martin, think about what you want.

Forget about what everyone else wants to do.

- Night of the apocalypse.

- What did you just say?

- The dark night of the apocalypse.

When zombies, demons, and chainsaw-wielding murderers

rise up to destroy humanity.

We drop you and your mates in the middle of ground zero.

For the survivors who make it out,

your reward is a keg of your favorite craft beer.

- Oh no, I don't think that's-

- Give me that.

- Apparently, they pick you up in costume and drop you there

and just leave you for dead.

- This, Nina.

Nina, this, this is the perfect bucks night.

- Oh, I'm so jealous.

Can I come?

(Martin and Elvis shouting)

- Make sure he's on the list?

- Oh yes!

(Martin shouting)

- There are too many 30 something white males.

- Good morning, Billie.

- I've been going through the last year

of successful recruits.

They all look the same.

- Yes.

- You don't find that disturbing?

- Of course I do.

- Well, here we are in the perfect position

to do something to change it.

- I try, Billie.

I always send what I call challenger candidates,

I lobby HR managers, but in the end,

people are gonna hire who they wanna hire.

I don't even know if they know they're doing it.

- How can they not?

- Look up unconscious bias.

Look, I know it's frustrating,

but we can lead the employers to water, you know?

(documents rustling)

- [Nina] Don't think about the sperm.

This is about eggs for Billie.

- Judging by your cycle, you'd need to start

the hormone injections right away.

Does that suit?

- Right.

Um, yes.

Fine.

- So the eggs would be for Billie?

- Yes, but I just wanna check

that my eggs are viable before I talk to her.

- So you've never talked about doing this before?

- No. I dunno why.

- Probably because it can affect your own fertility.

- You're gonna ask me if I've completed my own family?

- I have to.

- Well, yes, but if that changes, I think it's a good idea

to freeze some eggs anyway just in case.

- We can do that. Yes.

- [Patrick] And I'll just let Billy casually know

there are some eggs if she wants them.

- Now there's some side effects you probably know about.

- Hormone levels and so on.

- Yeah, basically, it's a little more intense

than premenstrual symptoms.

Some women describe it as feeling like a werewolf.

It will make you extremely fertile and easily aroused.

- So an angry horny werewolf.

- Exactly.

So keep away from any unwanted men.

- [Nina] You started your treatment.

Angry, horny, stay away from unwanted men.

- [Harry] Nina.

- Hello, Harry. Hello.

What are you doing here?

- I have a debrief to go to.

- Lucky you.

- And I was hoping to run into you.

- Oh?

- Would you like to grab some dinner sometime?

- Who with?

- Me.

- Just you?

- Just me and you.

- Wait, are you asking me out?

- Yes, now that our professional relationship is over.

- On a date?

- A date maybe on Saturday night?

- Yes. Maybe.

No, bad timing, Harry.

That's Martin's bucks night.

- Oh, maybe next week then.

- Oh God, why not?

He's gorgeous, sane, confident.

Say yes.

Well, that sounds...

Actually don't, you can't trust your body.

You're all sex and fury.

Not actually.

- What?

- I think we should probably just not.

Sorry.

- Okay.

All right, I'll see you then.

- [Nina] Good choice.

Your body is not your own, Nina.

It's Billie's.

(upbeat whimsical quirky music)

(glass pane taps)

- [Martin] Hello.

- Hello.

- Best man.

- Is everything all right?

- I lodged an intention to marry form last month.

- Okay.

- Well, it was a question

which if answered in the affirmative

would deny you the privilege of getting married.

- What was that question?

- Are you currently married?

- [Nina] And what did you answer?

- I answered no.

- Of course you did, so?

- But I lied.

- What?

- I lied because I am in fact currently married.

- What do you mean you're married?

- Have I not mentioned this before?

- No.

- I've just broken the law by not declaring it.

- Martin, this is...

Where is she? Who is she?

- Oh my God. What have I done?

- What have you done?

- Brief and to the point.

It was many years ago, I was new to this country.

I met Justine.

She was the secret lesbian daughter

of an ultra conservative farmer whose cruel ultimatum

forced her hand to either marry a man, me, or lose the farm!

- Oh my God.

- That's just what I said, but we quickly realized

our mutual need to get married.

I for citizenship, she for inheritance.

- Martin! - Nina! I lied on a form!

- Martin! - Yes?

- You have to find this woman and get it annulled.

- I hadn't thought of that.

Right.

- I have to go out for an appointment for Brody.

- Okay.

- She's pregnant.

- I'm not really sure why you're telling me that.

- I want her to have a future.

You know, I want her to have opportunities.

- Of course.

- [Billie] Can I cook you dinner tonight?

- Dinner?

- I think you should come over

and we should talk about the future about changing things.

- Sure. Why not?

- Oh, there you are.

They're looking for you.

What are you doing out here?

- Nothing.

Just checking on something.

- What are you checking?

- Oh, it's, oh, it's all fine.

What's wrong?

- You've got an ultrasound with Brody in five minutes.

- Oh, yes. Thanks.

- Is that Brody Brody?

- Yes, that's right.

Okay. Thanks, Kim.

Oh, hi. Hello again.

- [Harry] Hi.

- Look, Harry, I'm sorry about before.

That was a bit blunt of me to say no like that.

- It's fine. Really.

If you don't see us like that, it's best to be honest.

- Well, I don't absolutely not see us like that.

I should explain.

My body is my sister's.

- What?

- It's not mine at the moment.

I can't go into too much detail

because I haven't even told her yet.

- Right.

- But I want you to know

that I would potentially like to do that with you.

- So you're saying no, but I should possibly ask again?

- Yeah.

- Oh, Nina, you're waiting up there for ages.

- No, I wasn't.

- Anyway, I need to ask you

how many we're booking for the bucks

because we need to pay for 10 people.

Unless there's more than 10.

Will there be more than 10?

- No.

Oh, do you wanna come to Martin's bucks night?

- Sure. Why not?

- Great.

Seven. - Seven. Awesome.

- Well, see you later.

You've got my number?

- [Nina] Yeah. Yep, I do.

Thank you, Harry.

- Okay, bye. - Bye.

Ah, sorry, Brody.

Hi, Billie.

- Who was that?

- How are we?

- Almost done.

- Nina.

- I don't know.

- Did that handsome tree of a man just ask you out?

- What? No.

- He did, you're over blinking.

- Billie, now is not the time to discuss this.

- What are you gonna say?

- It's not just that.

- What?

- It's not as simple as that.

- Just tell me really quickly.

- [Kim] Okay. That's it.

You're done.

- [Nina] Oh, good. Here we go.

Come with me.

- Pause button.

- Now let's just get a measurement

so we can date the pregnancy.

- Yep.

- Right. Here we go.

There we are.

Big, healthy, strong baby.

- Big?

- Is good big?

- Yes. Big is good.

Robust.

- [Brody] Is that the heart?

- Yeah, that's the heart beating away strongly.

Big and strong.

- Why do you keep saying big?

- Brody, it appears to me that you might be

a little further along than you thought.

- What?

- The impression that I'm getting

is that you're 25 weeks pregnant.

- What does that mean?

- Nothing worrying at all.

Apart from the fact that this little boy or girl

is coming much sooner than you thought.

- So do I still have a choice about having it?

- No, no, you're well past that point.

- [Billie] I'll talk to her.

- [Zara] What's up?

Is it after school?

- Yeah, 3:30.

- Oh God, I thought it was midday.

- Hey, guess what?

This little fella is a genius.

Elena at kindy thinks he might be gifted.

- I haven't noticed anything.

- Yeah, well, maybe it's a little bit too early to tell,

but look at what he wrote.

- Where did you learn how to do letters, little man?

- I draw you and daddy fight.

- Anyway, apparently there are options

if we wanna go down that path.

- [Zara] I have to go to Nina's office to study.

- Oh, yeah.

All righty.

What are they?

- Toes.

- Yeah, that's like so much more detailed than feet.

I would've said feet.

- 25 weeks.

I can't do this, Billie.

I don't think that I can.

- It's normal to feel nervous.

- And that was the first time that you saw it.

- It's all right for you.

You're not the one who's pushing it out.

You don't even know what it's like to be pregnant.

It's gross.

I don't want it, Billie.

I just want it gone, but now, I've got no choice.

- It's a lot to take in.

I know how you feel.

- You don't.

- I do.

I don't have kids, but it doesn't mean

I haven't been pregnant.

- I don't wanna end up like my mum, Billie.

She used to say that I came along and ruined her life,

then I was taken away from her.

The same thing is gonna happen all over again.

- You're not your mother.

You are surrounded by people who love you

and can support you, and your mum didn't have that.

Your baby's coming.

We'll figure it out.

It's gonna be okay.

- [Zara] That's the best you can do?

- [Kim] You haven't organized anything.

- Kim, why don't you tell Nina

what you've organized for the hens night.

- Pizza and a DVD at my place.

- Oh, right.

Kim, I think Cherie's probably expecting

a more genuine event.

- Because the marriage is so genuine?

- [Nina] What?

- It's a fass, we all know it's a fass.

- [Nina] Do we?

- Why would you marry someone you're not having sex with?

It's ridiculous.

What sort of marriage is that gonna be?

What sort of message is that sending the kids?

- I don't think the kids know that they're not having sex.

- It doesn't matter what you think.

You have to organize it.

- You organize it if you think it should be bigger.

- I don't have the time.

- And I do?

Yeah, I do.

I've got so much time just dripping off me.

Look, dripping off me everywhere, off my face.

- Fine!

- Don't do anything.

Leave it with me.

(Nina roars)

- Whoa.

Did you hear that?

- What?

Some.

Actually, all of it.

- Nice, Kim.

- Shut your stupid doctor face.

- There you go.

(phone chiming)

- How's Brody?

- Oh, she's pretty nervous, Nins.

- You're so great with her, Billie.

- [Billie] Now you can tell me about that thing

you're gonna tell me about.

- [Nina] Pardon?

Oh, well, it's not really a phone thing.

- I don't mind.

You have to tell me. Tell me.

Tell me, tell me.

- Okay. Do you remember Jodie?

- [Billie] Jodie as in Patrick's ex-wife Jodie?

- She came to see me and she told me

that Patrick had left some...

Sorry, Billie, I will have to go.

- No, no!

- I'll call you back. I'm sorry.

- I found her.

- Who?

- My wife.

- Oh, that's great.

- A tremendous weight has been lifted.

I'm gonna pop out to her farm.

I'm gonna get her to sign those papers,

and then I'm gonna crack on

with marrying the woman of my dreams.

- Yes, that's wonderful, Martin.

What a relief.

- You don't seem quite as happy as I expect you to be.

Is everything all right?

- Oh, yes.

- The phone call.

I couldn't help but over hearing you

mentioning Patrick's name.

- [Nina] Can I tell him?

No, I better not.

- I know.

You're concerned that I might not be able

to make it back in time for the bucks night.

- What? Oh, yes.

Would you like me to cancel?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I can be out there and back in town with two hours to spare.

But an early start means an early night, so good night.

- Good night. - Oh, and I'll see you

at the undisclosed location. (laughs)

- Nina.

Yes, to be honest, my opposition to the wedding

wasn't so much about Clegg and Cherie, but more,

well, Jess pointed out that our sex

hasn't been that existent lately.

So maybe that's what it was.

- All right, well, I'm sure Cherie

would be very understanding of that.

Perhaps you should be telling her.

- I will.

Then I'm gonna pamper the shit out of her.

- [Nina] What?

- For the hens.

I booked the penthouse at the Park Hyatt.

I'm gonna bring every scrub, cleanser, toner,

moisturizer, champagne, I'm gonna paint her nails,

I'm gonna rub her hair.

Gonna smear her face.

So many products.

She's gonna be so relaxed,

she's gonna be like a sleeping monk in a spa bath.

- Oh, you seem very determined.

- Oh yeah, I am.

- I just don't get the whole random hookup thing.

I mean, I wanna be good at it,

but I just, I seem to get worse and worse.

- Zoe's asleep.

- Oh, you're the best.

- Brody, Carrie. Carrie, Brody.

- Hello, I have heard so much about you.

- What have you heard?

- Only good things. - Yes. Only good things.

(door knocking)

- I'll get it. - Thank you.

And maybe we could be active

in offering opportunities to all recruits,

and not just 30 something white guys.

- [Brody] Hello.

- Hi, Brody. How you doing?

- Can't think of anything. - Good. Come in.

- Thank you.

- Ah, hello.

Here's a white guy now.

- That makes me feel like I've just been cast as the enemy.

- Will Bowen, Carrie Green.

Carrie Green, Will Bowen.

- Hello, enemy.

- Let's not be enemies so soon.

- Wine?

- Please.

You're not thinking about though,

resumes, credentials. - Okay. Sure, sure, sure.

- Education? - Okay, okay.

Think about it like this.

Who's got the best CV?

Shreya.

Who'll do the best job? Shreya.

Who are they gonna hire? Alan.

- So you are saying that they're all racist, sexist, bigots.

- No, not all of them.

- Hey, if you're bored,

don't feel like you have to stay with us.

- I'm fine.

- It's about familiarity.

People hire people who remind them of themselves.

- We'll, look at you two.

- What?

- If you wanna talk about hiring people

that remind you of yourself.

- It's a risky thing to say.

- Well, it's kinda true though.

I looked at you and I thought, I get her, I like her.

I wanna work with her.

More wine?

- Now that's a solution.

- More wine is always a solution.

- Yeah, like, if you go to the same school together.

- Exactly.

- Yeah, or like buying a house, you know,

people walk into a house

and they can imagine themselves living there.

But what they don't realize is that that house

has been styled to make them feel that way,

which is exactly what I'm gonna do with our recruits

when I figure out how.

Cheers to that.

- Cheers to that. - Cheers. Cheers.

(glasses clink)

(injection device clacking)

- [Nina] Werewolf injection number three.

(door knocking)

- Eggs, Nina?

What are you doing?

- Nothing.

I was just plucking.

Thought I found a hair, high pubic.

But false alarm.

Just a stray eyelash, which is good.

- Do you want eggs?

- [Nina] Yep.

- Great. I've got news.

- [Nina] You've got news.

- So,

we got the house.

- You did?

Oh, Billie, that's wonderful.

- Oh, I'm so happy, and I'm sad to be leaving you and Zoe.

- Yeah.

- But it's so perfect for us.

- You know, there's room for me to record,

for Brody to study, for the baby.

- It's great.

Is Brody's mom okay with her staying?

- I'm letting Brody handle it.

She's talking to Stacey every day.

She's keeping her in the loop.

So Jodie contacted you?

- Jodie. Yes.

God.

- [Billie] What about?

- Uh, she told me, she told me

that she has a patch of Patrick's sperm.

She doesn't wanna use it,

so she's gonna let it be destroyed,

but she thought she'd check with me first.

- You're only just telling me.

- Well, it's been hard to get you alone.

- Are you worried about raising the subject

of insemination with me?

- No, no, I haven't talked to anyone about it.

- What are you gonna do?

Have you even thought about having more children?

- I don't know.

- You have to keep them.

- I do?

- So Zoe could have a brother or a sister.

Now that you know that there's this living part of Patrick

that still exists.

- Well, that's what I'm thinking.

I can't destroy that, can I?

- Then again, before you knew they existed,

that wasn't an issue.

- Well, that doesn't change how I feel now.

- So what would you say to a new guy?

For example, a handsome Harry.

- What?

- That you want a relationship,

possibly long term, possibly marriage.

But when it comes to having kids,

you've saved the genetic material from someone else

that you prefer to use over his.

That's not a very nice position to put someone in.

I don't think you can keep them.

- Well, you just said that I can't get rid of them.

- That's also true.

God, I really feel for you, Nins.

If I'm finding this confusing, I can't imagine

what it's doing to you.

Nins, it's too much.

I think it's gonna freak you out and drive you batty.

- So you're saying that I shouldn't keep them?

- Yes.

- Hey, hey, check this out.

Hey, mate.

How many triceratops?

- One, two, five, six, eight.

- Why don't we try some salts?

How many salts?

- I could do that.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,

nine, 12, 13, 16, 14, 17, 18, 19, 70.

- Oh, you know what?

Why don't we take a little break?

Go and get a drink.

He's just tired.

- Jimmy, this is normal.

One minute they're telling you

the earth is going around the sun,

the next they're shoving chess pieces up their nose.

- Yes, but what if we haven't been

paying enough attention to it?

- Just let the teachers handle it.

- You know what?

I always wondered whether I had some sort of genius gift.

- You?

- Yeah, maybe mom was too preoccupied

and dad always just took everything in his stride.

- (chuckles) Well, it clearly wasn't a gift for accounting.

- What does that mean?

- Nothing, it was a bad joke.

I'm going to class.

(gentle calming music)

(Renato speaking softly)

- A friend?

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Renato, this is Zara.

- Hello. - Hello.

Your sister?

- Oh stop it! No!

She's my daughter-in-law.

- Join us.

- No, no, I don't wanna disturb you.

- No, please, I have to make a phone call.

I'll be five minutes.

- [Zara] He's handsome.

How long?

- First date.

Well, we've slept together, but this is first meal.

Don't tell Marjorie.

She's very jealous.

In fact, don't tell anyone.

- Okay.

- Aren't you meant to be in class?

- Yes. Yep.

I was just out getting some stationary.

- Right, well, I won't tell anyone your secret

if you don't tell anyone mine.

- Done.

- How about some wine?

- Thank you.

- You all right, Zara?

- No, I'm fine.

I just thought I could do everything,

but I can't juggle everything.

I'm just walking the streets trying to stop thinking

about how I'm failing.

- Darling, you need some more wine.

Oh, Renato, would you get another chair?

- Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's your date. I'm gonna go.

- That's okay. Stay.

- No, really. I'm gonna go.

It was lovely to meet you.

- Darling, just be kind to yourself.

(cows mooing) (gentle serene music)

(sheep bleating)

- Thank you, driver.

This should not take long.

Hello.

(Martin shouts)

Hello, I'm looking for Miss Justine Thomas.

I believe she's the owner of this here property,

and I'm wondering if you knew her whereabouts.

- Well, well, well, Martin Clegg.

- [Martin] Justine?

- Justin. It's Justin now.

It's good to see you.

- You, uh, you too.

Do you like living out here?

- It's a small life.

Smaller than I imagined for myself, but yeah, I like it.

- You know, it's interesting that there was a time

we were close enough to get married,

but not quite close enough for you to tell me

who you really were.

- Yeah, it took a long time to be brave enough.

- I can only imagine.

- I'm glad you came out here, Martin.

- Really?

- Yeah, well see, my birth certificate is still wrong,

and I can't change it while we're still married.

- Oh, of course.

You mean the- - Yeah.

I'll finally stop getting letters

addressed to Ms. Justine Thomas.

Yes.

- Well, in that case, I'm glad I came too.

- Ask me again.

- Mr. Justin Thomas, will you divorce me?

- I will.

- Cheers.

(bottles clink)

- That's quite fast.

Did you take him for a run around the block?

Yes, it is beating fast.

Let me check his reflexes.

You do the right leg.

- Hi, I'm Harry here for the bucks night.

- Oh God. - Is Nina here?

- [Nina] Was this a mistake inviting him?

- [Brody] Yeah. Come in.

- [Nina] Harry?

- [Harry] Hello.

- Hello.

- Am I early?

- [Nina] Early?

- No one else is here.

- No one else is here.

Remember Nina, angry, horny, fertile.

(door knocks)

Come in.

- Elvis.

- Brody. - Hello.

- [Harry] I like your place.

- Hi, Nina.

- [Nina] Hey.

- Oh, nice costume.

- Pardon? (door knocks)

- Oh, I'll get it.

- [Harry] Hi, Elvis.

What about Martin?

I thought he'd be here.

- Hi. - Hey.

- Hello.

Sorry.

Hello, Billie.

- I'm calling you from my brand new house.

You're my first call.

- Okay.

- I just picked up the keys from the agent.

(keys jangling)

- [Nina] Oh, that's great, Billie.

I'm just a little bit busy.

- Oh, okay. I'll get to the point.

I'm sorry. I was wrong.

- [Nina] What?

(car horn honking)

- They're here, guys!

- I overreacted about Patrick's sperm, and I was unclear

and I underestimated you.

Anyway, I think you should keep the sperm.

- You do?

- Yeah, and why make it any more complicated than that?

You're just keeping your options open.

Why would you get rid of them?

- Yeah, exactly.

I'll keep them.

- I think it's the only decision.

- Thanks, Billie.

Decision made.

I'm coming. - Hurry up.

You're gonna miss the apocalypse.

- [Kim] I'm gonna pamper the shit outta you.

Head massage.

(Cherie whimpers)

Nice? - Yep.

- This will stimulate your hair follicles.

- Uh-huh.

(head tapping rapidly)

- [Kim] How's that?

- Yeah, that's good.

- [Kim] Champagne?

- [Cherie] Ah, yeah, sure.

- Watching porn?

- I think we need strippers.

I feel bad for Cherie.

- [Kim] Is that good? Yeah?

- Well, she's having a great night.

- No one wants this for the hens.

She's getting injured.

- That way.

- This is my perfect night.

- You don't mean that.

- Yeah, sometimes all you need is a bit of shush,

and a bit of champagne.

Is there a spa?

- Maybe I should have gone to the bucks.

- Oh, rubbish, come and have a spa.

- [Kim] Nice.

- Help me.

(drums beating rhythmically)

- All clear.

- This way.

Good luck. You'll need it.

- This is actually quite scary.

- Excuse me, we're still waiting for Martin.

He's the buck, and he's not here.

- We will deliver him when he makes contact.

- In the meantime?

- You just have to get out alive.

(creature howls)

- What was that?

(phone ringing)

- It's Martin.

Hi, Martin. Where are you?

(Martin chattering)

- What's the report, Trautman?

- Pardon? I don't know.

- We should move.

- [Nina] Together?

(creature screams)

- We've been detected.

- Oh, this is stupid.

- [Elvis] Go, run, run, run, run!

- Come on.

- Oh, Jimmy.

Please don't run off.

- Well, I won't if you don't.

- I suppose we have to get through that door

so we can get to the end.

- We could just stay here.

- That's true. Yeah.

I mean, who's gonna notice if we just stay out here?

- It's nice and warm.

(creature screams) (Nina screams)

We just have to...

(Nina screams)

You're stupid!

- Keep moving.

- What's that?

Jimmy?

That's not funny, Jimmy.

(person screams) (chainsaw buzzing)

(Nina screams)

What have you done with my brother?

Can I hold your hand?

- Yeah, of course.

- Harry, the first time you asked me out and I said no,

I just wanna explain why.

- Here?

- I've gotta get it out.

It's now or never.

- We're not gonna die in here, Nina.

- I'm on a hormone treatment.

- What for?

- It's SFH.

I'm just, I might be donating some eggs.

- Oh.

- We're just checking the viability of them at the moment.

It's top secret.

No one knows, especially my sister.

- All right.

- But there are some side effects.

Highly fertile, of course.

Angry and,

a bit horny.

- Oh.

- It might be a bit much for you, but if it's not.

(monster screams)

Stop that!

Stupid!

Ridiculous!

(Nina screams)

Stop that! Stop it!

♪ And if you move real slow, I'll let it go ♪

♪ I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it ♪

♪ I'm about to lose control and I think I like it ♪

♪ I'm so excited ♪

- Stop it!

Where did you go?

You left us for dead.

- You were actually terrified.

- [Harry] What's that drink?

- Eyeball.

- Oh well, anyway, we got through it.

Thank God that's over.

Cheers.

(glasses clink)

What?

- You seem to be implying that that's it.

- We're only just halfway, Nina.

We have to still get through the vampire walls.

- Oh, oh. Actually no.

Cherie really wanted both the parties to come together.

- Are you serious?

- No, they won't mind for a bit late.

- Yeah, we did promise.

- Please.

- Well, how about you and I go, Harry?

And the rest of you can come

when the vampires are being-

- Vanquished.

- Vanquished. Exactly.

- Thank you, Nina. Thank you.

(Jimmy screams)

- Oh.

- Nina!

- Oh God!

- You have got to try this face cream.

You all right? How was it?

You look terrified.

- Oh, it was the greatest night of Elvis's life.

- Is Cherie all right?

- Yeah, I think so.

She had a bit of champagne.

- Well, looks like it's been a raging success.

- Yeah, I think it turned out all right in the end.

Zara, it's bath time.

- Well, we survived it.

- Barely.

Cheers.

- Cheers.

(glasses clink)

- You never finished your sentence.

- What sentence?

- In the zombie apocalypse.

You said this might be a bit much for you, but if it's not.

- But if it's not.

- What are you gonna say?

- If it's not, then maybe.

- Do you think there are any other rooms

in this giant hotel?

(Nina chuckles)

- We can't.

Can we?

- I think you should trust your feelings more.

- Oh, I do not trust my feelings.

- I think you should.

(gentle upbeat music)

♪ Here sits a man of 22 years up and strong ♪

♪ Held fast with lessons learned from Mother Nature's song ♪

♪ Speaks in the voice of winter winds ♪

♪ And rivers run ♪

♪ One close to heart by everyone ♪

♪ Waiting for the summer ♪

- You have to wear protection.

- Of course.

- No, I mean you have to wear heaps of protection.

I'm very fertile.

- I have three.

- Wear them all.

Who has three?

- What is it?

- I'm really fertile, Harry.

- I've got three condoms.

I think it's cutting off the blood supply.

- Yeah, you're right. Go on.

- Don't you think we should wait

until the hormones if it's gone?

- No, no, definitely not.

- I really, really wanna do this

because my ovaries are quite literally exploding.

Can we just, can we just stop for a sec?

- Okay, sure. Like this?

- It's like trying to stop a sneeze.

- It's like trying to stop a train with your bare hands.

(Harry breathing heavily)

You're holding me really tight.

(upbeat jaunty music)