Original subtitles

I've never been like this before.

I'm going to be the full time nanny.

Who would also happen to be the baby's father.

We want everyone to be happy

as we are, which is why I'm going to find you a man.

What the hell. Let's see who Billie can find for me.

Nina, your apartment is on fire.

I wasn't sure what you

most wanted me to save. I think your photos and importamt nt papers were priority.

Did you ever work that out?

The mix up with the blood types.

What?

Dad’s an AB?

But I’m an O.

I did not lie!

Oh, you just never got round to telling him he’s not Nina’s real father.

Geraldine?

You can’t just go to bed!

I’m not a Proudman.

[twinkling music]

[gasps]

[Nina] The house is on fire. Where's the key--

What? That--that's not mine. What's going on?

-[Nina] Hello? -Hi.

-Where am I? -In my bathroom.

No. Yes.

[exhales] Dad.

♪ Oh why, oh why, oh why

♪ Won't you sing Bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips, oh, oh

♪ Bring your hips to me

♪ To me Oh, bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh ♪

♪ Bring your hips to me

♪ To me

♪ To me

♪ Oh why, oh why, oh why

♪ Won't you sing

Hey. Hey, how are you? What do you need?

I don't know.

I wanna help. I--I don't know how.

Where's Mom?

She's--she's still in her room. She's locked down.

What does she think's gonna happen?

Maybe she thinks if she leaves it long enough,

we'll all forget the time she had a kid that wasn't Dad's.

Well, tell her she can't stay in there forever.

Nina says you can't stay in there forever, Mom.

-She answer? -No.

Okay, I'm going now.

But--but Nins, how are you?

Honestly, Jimmy, I can't answer that.

-Nins. -[Nina] Billie.

Hey. How--how are you holding up?

Do you need anything?

Your fines been engaged.

You've been talking to Jimmy?

But where are you now?

The real estate office. I'm gonna--I'm gonna go see Dad.

I just spoke to Cherie, and she said Dad left home a while ago,

but she thinks Dad's handling it badly, but acting like he isn't.

-Meaning? -He won't speak to her.

And Cherie thinks that's because he blames her

for keeping her trap shut,

or for keeping her trap shut for too long.

-She's not sure. -Well--

I'm about to get in the car with Mick.

We'll be there soon. He's gonna drop me off

and then continue on to another appointment.

Do I need to know all this?

Just keep the communication open.

-Bye, Billie. -Bye.

-Oh. Hello. -Hi.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Of course.

You?

I'm-- I am if you are.

And I am if you are. [chuckles]

I think I am.

I--I--I mean...

Yeah, to be honest, I...

I didn't sleep much last night

Neither did I.

What were you thinking about?

About...

how strange this is.

And how it hurts in a place I can't find.

-[phone rings] -[Darcy] Oh.

-Answer that? -No.

But...

where's the sense in being sentimental about it?

Right. Exactly.

-I should go to work... -Yeah, I--Me too. Um.

So you need to get your insurance rolling,

um, engineer's report.

Construction company will need to be contacted, uh--

Fire and water damage evaluated.

Oh, and, uh, building manager.

Right. Okay.

Yeah.

-Oh. -Okay.

Bye.

[gloomy music]

[Nina] That felt like total shit.

[woman] DMJ Insurance, Margaret speaking.

Hi, Margaret. I--I've had a fire,

and I need to make a claim.

I'm sorry to hear that. May I have your name?

Oh, yeah, Proudman. Nina Proudman.

I had a fire.

What was your policy number?

Sorry?

-Your policy number. -I don't know.

It's on your member's statement.

I've had a fire.

Okay. Without your policy number,

it's going to take a while to confirm your identity.

Are you all right to hold?

Oh, um. I'll just-- I'm trying to think.

I'll just call you back.

[all chattering]

[Kim] Someone get this woman a tea!

[Nina] I'm not ready for interaction.

[sighs] Oh, shit.

Yes, yes.

[Billie] Okay, um, we promised Andrew we'd find him a date,

but I'm gonna be tied up with family stuff.

So you're gonna have to run it, okay?

So this app, alerts you to gay guys in the area.

Well, if we're pimping Andrew out to men, they might as well be local ones.

Your job: screen the candidates, pick the right one.

And what if I pick someone Andrew doesn't like?

You're just gonna have to sell it.

-Hey, I wanna, um... -What?

Billie, I love you.

But this is the time when you're gonna have a lot of thoughts.

And if you say them,

there's a chance you're gonna hurt people in your family.

So just in--Just in case,

you know, all those...

inappropriate thoughts in your head...

How about you say them to me...

not to Darcy or Nina?

I'm gonna be okay.

-See ya. -Okay.

-Oh, Dad. -Billie. I've got a lot on my plate today,

is it all right if I pass some stuff on you?

-Yeah, sure. -Excellent.

And do you have first inspection on Dinna Street?

-Yeah. -Oh. Good. Good.

-Dad. -Hm?

How are you about everything?

Oh. I'm fine. Don't worry about me.

I am worried about you. It's okay if you're crazy upset.

God, I would be. You just found out Nina isn't yours.

That means Mom cheated on you. That's a terrible thing she did.

And she locked herself in her room.

We don't know if it was an isolated event

or an affair that went on for years.

And, God, your mind's probably spinning on about who Nina's real father is.

And was it--Mr. Donahue from across the road

or one of your friends--

I wasn't spinning out about those things...

but I am now.

Sorry.

Um, see you later.

Dad?

[phone rings]

Hey, Billie.

I didn't listen to you, and I just upset Dad.

Right.

I didn't think it was inappropriate,

but... you know, turns out it was, okay.

-All right, Billie. -Yup?

I think so.

Yeah, I--

Well, just don't line Andrew up with a guy if you haven't seen his face.

All right. Bye.

[Nina] Right. Stay calm. Focus on work.

-Don't get caught up in any-- -There she is.

-[Kim] Oh, my God. -[Cherie] Nina, are you all right?

I'm fine, fine. Really, I'm---I'm--

How can you be fine?

-you'll need them. -[Kim] And we've got blankets.

I baked all night this casserole.

A--a torch, batteries, and scarves.

Great.

[Martin] Christmas decorations.

We're, we're crowding her.

No, you're not. Um, I've just got a lot to do.

Are those charts for me?

Oh, good. See you later.

-Nina. -Uh, not a good time, Cherie.

-It's okay to be angry. -I'm not angry.

I'm just saying if you are. Darcy's--

No. I--I don't need to be asked how I am or what I want.

I--I don't need to be told I'm angry.

I just need people to act normally and be normal.

And right now, I don't know what to say to you.

Uh.

[sighs]

[breathes heavily]

Hi.

You're assessing me.

Uh, Nina do you think the paternity thing--

What--what's everyone keepin'--It's not about--

Uh, could you--could you just--

I just... I don't--I don't wanna--

[door opens]

-[door closes] -Shit.

Mick, so glad you're over. Come.

-Great to be here. -Come on in.

Straight through here.

I'm going to show you some lyrics,

and I want your honest reaction, okay?

Sure.

"Show me now Where if you dare

If you even should care"

Really, is that okay?

"Near or far Why is who you are"

Yeah.

Who wrote this?

A singer I'm working with. Great guy. Great voice.

And he wants to write some lyrics

for a song on his next album.

"No," you wisely told him.

I didn't know that it was gonna suck.

You are too nice. That's your problem.

So, uh, can you help?

You want me to turn this into a song?

Yeah. And you know, fix it.

Just leave enough of his lyrics,

so he still feels like he wrote the song.

[laughs] Why me?

Because you know how to set stupid lyrics to music,

and make it sound great.

[sighs]

-"Why is who you are?" -Hm.

-[phone beeps] -Oh, sorry.

Drink? Coffee?

Huh? Um, water would be great.

-Okay. -Thank you.

-Just one-- -[beep]

[phone rings]

-Mick? -So I found someone for you.

You found someone?

Yeah, I'm taking over for Billie as the organizer of your date.

-Is that weird for you? -Yes. You?

-Yes. -So, uh...

found someone looks pretty good.

Oh, geez don't go overboard.

Sorry, uh--

He's very good-looking, like a model.

And his eyes, um, you know...

strong but soft.

He wants to meet you tonight.

What should I wear?

[Nina] Hi, Jimmy, where are you?

Just a tick, just a tick.

I'm worried about Mom, so I'm making her sandwich

on Lebanese bread.

I think she has accepted the offering.

Nope.

Jimmy, listen. Do me a favour.

In amongst my stuff, there should be a box

that's got all my papers for insurance and everything.

A black and blue box with a lid on it.

-With a pattern on it? -Yes, in there.

A red manila folder that has a sticker on the front

that says, "boring stuff."

Why "boring stuff?"

Well, I didn't want to have a folder that said

"important financial documents" on it.

That's the first thing robbers look for.

I'm sorry, the folder's not here.

It has to be.

Right, there's--there's no red folder in this box.

[sighs] I need it.

I'm sorry, Nin, it's not here.

I'll keep looking and call you back if I find them. Bye.

What?

-She's still in there? -I read her the riot act.

-What? -Just...

What?

If I say something inappropriate, is it okay with you?

Yeah.

Mom and Dad only have two children together.

Have you been thinking about that?

Yeah.

And when you think about it,

it's been obvious all along.

You and me. You know, we--we look alike.

So really, it's always been two siblings.

And this other blonde girl.

Yeah.

Does it freak you out being Nina's half-brother?

Well, yeah, but I--I--I sort of figured

-I shouldn't say that to Nina-- -Yeah.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Mom, it's Billie.

Hi.

I--I already offered her a flat sandwich.

I guess you must think, we're all pretty angry with you

and... we are.

-But not in a bad way. -What are you doing?

Mom, you cheated on Dad.

And you owe us all an explanation.

And the longer you stay in there...

the worst it's gonna get.

Come out and tell us who Nina's father is!

Love you.

Billie that was terrible.

It kind of, like, got away from me.

Bye.

-[Martin] Uh, Nina. -Hm?

I, uh, I feel bound to account for myself

-in the mosaic of recent events. -Huh?

The discovery that you're not your father's biological child

was accidental.

Oh, it's--it's not your fault.

No. I didn't impregnate your mother.

I appreciate that.

And it's not Cherie's fault either.

What? Why--why would you say that? I didn't say it was.

I've noticed your behaviour towards her

has changed recently.

Oh, Martin. I've got a lot on my mind today.

Nina... [clears throat]

Cherie's the messenger, don't shoot her.

All right.

I took a blow torch to your family.

I understand you having the shits with me.

Now I saw how Nina's like being angry.

-I'm not angry. -Yeah, you are.

Cherie, I don't care about me. But, Darcy...

You live with Darcy.

You live with him and I-- I don't know what's worse,

the fact that you decided to drop the bomb

or the fact that you held on to it for so long.

There.

See, exactly what was I meant to do?

[sad music]

You hurt Dad so much.

[sad music continues]

But I wasn't the one who cheated on him.

That was your mom.

[inhales loudly]

Your father was a serial killer that's why I didn't tell you.

But if you think about it, it makes sense.

You didn't have a father. You were grown in a jar.

Your father was Tony Abbott, sorry.

[door slams]

♪ It's a sad situation There's something about you ♪

♪ Something about you I know ♪

♪ My God you're so much like your mother ♪

♪ You're just like your father A distinct discovery ♪

Mom?

Jimmy?

♪ What you say

Mom? It's me.

I don't know what's going on in there but...

please this is crazy.

Just rip off the Band-Aid, Mom. Come out.

This is so stupid.

This is stupid!

Stupid.

-[whispers] Is she gone? -Wait.

Yes.

She's spiralling.

Oh, to be fair, Mom's not making it easy.

Is this unusual for your family,

or is it the sort of thing that happens all the time?

It's kind of... seasonal.

But you're sure you don't need the Ute?

Nah, go for it.

-So how--how's it going? -[Mick sighs]

Oh, I can't make these stupid lyrics work.

And my phone keeps buzzing with X-rated pictures of men.

-[phone beeps] -Huh.

Oh! Whole fruit bowl.

We already found someone.

Um, this--this is another inappropriate thing.

Yes?

Okay, growing up,

I had this younger sister who was exceptional at everything.

Like anything I did, Nina could do better.

-In reading, math, gymnastics. -You did gymnastics?

Yeah, until Nina started, after that there's no point.

Would a different father explain

why she was always so much better than me?

Billie, you are great--

I'm great in my own way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I bet Nina's father ends up being, like,

some blonde genius doctor-type.

Or else a nervous shut-in.

My head's a blender.

Billie.

Why is who you are?

Because you is who I am.

Is that the right answer?

-Yup. -See ya.

Hello, in there.

Little peanut.

What are you doing?

Saying hello.

-This ends. -What?

The snuggly happy family thing, that's not us.

And that is not the situation that we're in.

But we're having a baby together.

Yeah, but we're not together.

I thought we knew where we stood.

Jimmy, you're too young.

And I don't feel that way about you.

[baby cries]

[Nina] Little names on little tags.

Change the tag and that little person

grows up to be someone else.

I'm not a Proudman anymore.

[gloomy music]

[gasping]

Hold on, Nina. Just hold on.

Do something practical. Insurance.

Voicemail. What now?

[Billie] Yeah, okay, this is the nutshell version.

I borrowed Mick's Ute and I've brought around a bunch of stuff

we can use to paint. I've just laid it out for you, okay?

There are two main piles--

[Patrick] Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Yep.

Nina's at my place, it's an imposition.

[Nina] Imposition?

Uh-hm. See you there.

I'm an imposition.

I'm crowding him.

Thanks.

No, no, wait. Swap places.

-Really? -Yup.

Shouldn't you be facing the door?

No, this way, you can alert me to when he comes in.

I can decide if I'm ready to go through with it.

Okay, am I even gonna recognize this random and how reliable is this app?

Just so long as he looks like his profile pic.

Could be false advertising.

This way you can tell me.

[exhales loudly]

It's gonna be great.

Yeah.

[Mick sighs]

-I'm a bit nervous. -Are ya?

Can I see the pic again?

[Mick] Oh.

What? What? What?

-Someone is coming in. -Is it him?

-Face tattoos. -No.

No. Sorry.

This app says he's only 20 meters away.

Well, the GPS can be off so...

It's him.

Does he look like his pic?

[Mick] Better.

You look different in your picture.

Sorry, man. Time wasted.

[Mick] Hey!

-[Andrew] Mick! -Ass hat!

Mick, don't, don't, don't, don't.

Funny. That's actually funny.

We'll find you someone else.

Shit.

Oh, sorry. I'm gonna-- I'm gonna tidy all of this up.

Billie made a mistake bringing all this over here.

Yeah...

Sorry. It's a whirlwind you shouldn't be caught up in.

Of course, I'm caught up in it. How could I not be?

Please. Just let me do this. Just let me do it. I need to do it.

-Everything okay? -Yup.

I'll put it over here just for a minute.

I--I packed that stuff back up.

You didn't have to do that.

Yeah, put a bunch of it in my car.

Why?

Wait a minute.

I overheard you on the phone to Jimmy.

You said having me here was an imposition.

No. I said leaving your stuff with your mom's was imposition

when you're staying here with.

Well, now my stuff's here imposing on you.

-Nina. -No, it's okay.

It's pushing things too fast.

Us... we're not ready for this proximity.

Nina, it's not like you're moving in. You just need somewhere to stay.

No, I'm not moving in.

There's no question of that.

It's fine if you stay.

I mean it's weird. It's good weird.

I don't want it to be weird. Not even good weird.

Look here, look. Okay.

We can make space for you.

Oh, no. I don't-- I don't wanna drawer.

Look.

I don't want a drawer.

Is that really what you'd offer me? One drawer?

It's temporary.

Doesn't have to be a thing.

I can just go stay with someone else.

Nina.

I'm gonna have a shower. Okay?

And then I'm gonna cook us some dinner.

And I'm not gonna chuck you out.

[Nina] One thing at a time, Nina.

[gloomy music]

Nina!

[phone ringing]

♪ There been many moves since I have been home ♪

♪ And I will sit where this rock sits ♪

♪ Where the earth is split like a frozen limb ♪

♪ Where the river is falling

♪ And the road is calling today ♪

-Jimmy! -What are you doing here?

Here, come on, this is bullshit.

-Mom! -Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait.

She'll unlatch it.

Want to hear song?

Is it a love song?

Kinda.

Mick, I got held up.

Tim, it's not a problem. Um...

-I think I wrote your song. -Great.

It's a bit rough.

Oh, this is, um, my brother, Andrew.

-Oh. Hi. -[Mick] Tim.

Oh, why not? Come on.

No, no, no. I'll stay.

[plays soft melody]

Okay.

♪ Why is who you are

♪ 'Cause you is who I am

♪ And who I am don't mean a thing ♪

♪ If there's no you And there's no me ♪

♪ And round with all again

♪ Does the known become unknown ♪

♪ The stone splits apart from stone ♪

♪ No one to put it back together ♪

♪ And never ends love

♪ My head's a blender

♪ My head's a blender

♪ But in the end love

♪ Hell, I surrender

♪ Yeah, I surrender

That's--that's great.

Yeah, you think? Andrew?

Yeah, yes, really, really great.

-[Darcy] Nina. -Dad.

[puffs breath]

I keep getting all these phone calls from Billie and Patrick:

"Where is Nina?"

Oh. Didn't know where else to go.

I just thought if I could-- if I could just get in.

Well, you will be able to get in without the insurance form.

Yeah, I know. But it's--it's--it's inside with everything else.

No, no. No, it's not.

Oh, I've been looking everywhere for that.

You gave it to me for safe-keeping.

-Did I? -Yeah.

It lives in my office.

I thought you met me.

You had it all this time.

Yeah, well, that's what I've been doing all day, Nina.

Just poofing around offices.

Sorting everything out.

So, um, all you need to do is, um,

sign this and then, uh, it's done.

And, uh, oh, I got you these.

I'll just-- A few little everyday things.

Oh, and, uh... this.

[both laugh]

All day I felt so alone, Dad.

The whole time everyone's been...

rushing around me. Trying to help me and I'm--

And I just wanted--

Can I say something?

I was mad about you the second you were born.

I'm still mad about you and...

I'm never gonna stop being mad about you.

You're the only father I know.

You're the only one that I want.

Sweetheart.

-[phone chimes] -Oh, my phone.

-You get that-- -No, it's just a message.

Oh, it's Mom.

Ready to talk.

You wanna come?

[calm music]

What on earth are you wearing?

It's Billie's.

Oh! It's looks good.

Nina.

You know Darcy was never faithful to me.

I know that.

No, you don't know the half of it.

All the dalliances.

How much they hurt.

There was a time after Billie was born,

I had a week, a mad week.

I lost my mind. A week.

Compared to all the years of Darcy.

Now...

turns out that one mad week resulted in you.

I always believed Darcy was your father.

If it hadn't been for Cherie--

No, no. Mom. Cherie's part of this family, too.

She has as much right to reckon as the rest of us.

Mom? What the hell were you thinking?

Do you know what you put me through?

Excuse me!

Oh, you look good.

I'm sorry, everyone. I--I didn't know how to react to this,

but I've decided, no more secrets.

No more secrets.

Billie.

When you were three months old, I dropped you on your head.

You what? Is this about Nina?

What? Was I all right?

At that time, the guilt almost killed me.

You were this precious little thing, and you fell out of my hands.

Babies are resilient, aren't they? Nins?

You're not supposed to drop them on their heads.

Oh, we did test. You were fine.

Really. I--I'd forgotten about it.

But now, I'm telling. Okay.

And, uh, Jimmy.

You aren't circumcised.

I'm pretty sure I am.

No--no, you were born that way.

I would never have done that to you.

We didn't think you needed to know.

What?

-Nina--Nina. -Could be aposthia.

Rare congenital defect.

-Oh! -Not defect, very rare.

-You're a special boy. -Mom, spit it out.

Okay, who is Nina's biological father?

-There are two possibilities. -What?

-[Billie] Two? -[Jimmy] Oh, Mom.

-What? -Why do you think

I've been in there all day?!

Two?

The first possibility is...

the local GP I used to go to, Dr Noona.

-I knew it! I knew it. -And...

the second possibility is a council parking inspector.

At least that's what he was at that time.

His--his name's Daniel.

Or Darren. It was something starting with "D".

How did you?

Well, I had parked illegally and he was giving me a ticket.

But I persuaded him not to.

And then?

One thing led to another.

[Jimmy] Mom...

-I think I'm impressed. -Wait, wait, wait.

Are you saying you had sex

with the parking inspector right there on the street?

-I don't wanna talk about it. -Was that a yes or a no?

I really don't wanna talk about it.

Where was I? Just off somewhere, bouncing around on my head?

[Geraldine] Anyway...

now, you know.

[tinkling music]

Nins.

A lot of craziness today.

Were you--Were you worried about us? You and me?

-No. -You weren't?

-No. Why? -I was.

I've been running around all day scared

that 'cause now we're half sisters

then everything will be different.

And how much better than me you were a gymnastics.

I barely even remember gymnastics.

Always thought, you know, you and me...

we got the same batch of jeans.

But you made it work, and I just couldn't.

Oh.

And now, it's kinda okay because...

you--you really are different.

You're the only person I haven't doubted today.

The only reason I wanted to do gymnastics was to be like you.

[gloomy music]

-Big day, huh? -Pretty big.

-I'm sorry. -No, I'm--

[sighs]

My father could be a parking inspector...

or a doctor.

We're not sure.

-My mother had a mad week. -Your family.

-I know. -Were they dizzy?

-Exhausting. -No, it's exciting.

I wanna live with you.

[upbeat music]

Really?

We should get a place together.

Do you want to?

-Yes. -Yeah?

♪ Gonna show you the way

To a doctor or a parking inspector.

Yeah.

[Patrick] Get that.

♪ Feel like home

♪ Feel like home

[theme music]