Original subtitles

What wedding? Our wedding!

Don't spoil anything tomorrow.

What sort of person do you think

Darcy. Johnny.

Jimmy. I'm pregnant.

You gonna have a baby.

But I don't know if I'm having i

But there's one in there, and it

And there's no sign of any injur

I can order some tests for Ray if you like.

Ever since I got your email, I've been thinking.

What if I missed out on the best that's ever...

I met up with Chris Havel tonigh

Nina, I don’t want to share you.

And I don't want to lose you.

Oh, I’m sorry.

I think you should figure out what it is you want.

[sigh]

[Nina] Do not trust anything

your body's telling you right now.

Trust your logical mind.

Who says you have to choose?

Tempting.

Come on, pull yourself together.

Gotta be a good bridesmaid for Billie.

That's all that matters today.

♪ Oh why, oh why, oh why

♪ Won't you sing Bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips, oh, oh Bring your hips to me ♪

♪ To me Oh, bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh ♪

♪ Bring your hips to me

♪ To me

♪ To me

♪ Oh why, oh why

♪ Oh why

♪ Won't you sing

[sigh]

[phone rings]

Ah, Billie, I--I got called in to work last night

and I couldn't pick up your bouquet

but I'm just gonna... l could go and do it--

Nins, don't stress. There's plenty of time.

There will be no stress.

I've got this wedding thing so sorted.

You know what, I refuse to believe

that there's a Proudman family wedding curse.

I know mom claims it goes back several generations.

Oh, wasn't it Nanna Beth who...

Yeah, got--got trampled by

her own horse-drawn carriage. Sure.

-And wasn't it Uncle Barry who-- -Yeah, okay--okay, yes.

The best man swallowed the wedding rings

but they got those out in the end, Nins.

And I would argue that cousin Bettina

taught us all a very valuable lesson.

Never go strapless. [laughs]

So the curse is bullshit. And we're gonna pull off

a low-cost, stress-free, elegant, gorgeous wedding.

Yeah, it's gonna be beautiful.

And your co-bridesmaid Cherie

is scheduled to turn up at your place at 1300 hours.

so you two can get me brided up.

All right. See you there.

Okay.

[sigh]

[Chris] These here are forms--

[Nina] No. Not ready to bump into him in the hallway.

[Chris] His birth weight--

-[Cherie] Nina! -[Nina] Oh, yeah?

[Cherie] His tests have come back all fine.

-EEG, blood tests. -[Nina] Ah.

-[Cherie] All normal. -[Nina] That's wonderful news.

-Thank you so much, -Glad I could help.

-Um... See you later. -[Chris] See ya.

[paper rustles]

-Nina. -Mm?

You're really fascinated with Ray's EEG readout?

Oh, well, I'm... [chuckles]

I should probably give it back...to Cherie.

Cherie?

[footsteps clunk]

Oh! [clatters]

-[Cherie] You all right? -[Nina] Yes.

[scrunches]

[baby cries]

Oh. Ray's an A?

-Sorry? -What--what blood type are you?

Um, a supermarket-no-name brand O.

Oh, that's funny, 'cause Dad--Dad's a...

Dad's a B like Billie.

And, uh, I--I know mom is too.

[Nina] Which means there's no way Ray could be dad's kid.

No, come on! That can't be right.

Oh, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Oh, well, I know that Darcy's the only possible father.

Yes. Yeah, I know, but it's just--

it is--it is weird because...

Oh, look, I'm just a bit tired.

-Oh, Ray! -Hang on.

-Are you suggesting that-- -No.

-I can assure you I didn't lie about Ray's conception. -No...

Cherie.

[sighs heavily] Oh!

-You okay? -Mm-hm.

-Do you want to get some air? -Okay.

[footsteps clunk]

[door slams]

I lay awake all night thinking about us.

Last year, and...

how things were...

Tortured?

-Oh, well... -Yeah, they were.

Too many mixed messages.

"Go. Wait."

"Ah, I'm free."

"No, I'm not actually.

Just a bit more married than I told you."

And all the time the smiling and the kissing and the--

-Well, you went to Baltimore-- -I didn't know what you wanted.

I didn't know what you were thinking.

It took me so long to get over you, Chris.

Anyway, let's not drag all this up now.

I agree. Let--let's not.

So what are we left with?

There's this weird chemistry thing between us.

I don't know what it means.

Well, I don't wanna destroy anything,

but I'm not gonna walk away,

not if it means making a mistake again, so...

[Chris] What do you want me to do?

I don't know.

[footsteps clunk]

[phone rings]

Uh, Jimmy, Billie knows

all the details for the wedding master plan.

It's not about the wedding, it's about Zara.

Don't make me a go-between in your love life.

Has she said anything to you about needing time off work?

Jimmy, you're doing my head in. What do you want?

Zara's pregnant.

To me.

[gasps]

Nins, you there?

Yeah, I know. It's pretty full-on.

Are the Proudman men determined to impregnate

every single one of my work colleagues?

The thing is, Nina, I don't even know what she's thinking.

-Morning, Zara. -Morning.

-Is she there with you now? -Shh.

I heard you guys had a crazy night.

-[Jimmy] What's she saying? -Babies popping out all over.

What's she saying about babies?

Nothing to do with you. Goodbye.

[rock music]

-That was Jimmy? -What?

Yep--yep.

He told you?

Yes.

And, Zara,

if you want to talk through your options, I'm happy to...

putting aside my brother's involvement.

I just, I have to go right now.

Thanks, Nina. Really, I'm fine.

I'm not after anyone's help or opinions in this.

[thuds]

[Nina] Billie's bouquet, done.

I should call Jimmy back.

And Zara. And Cherie.

I should call Chris.

I should call Patrick. Oh, shit.

[upbeat music]

[Mick] Are you two really the best men I could find?

[Jimmy] Hey, I brought the wedding rings, the gaffer tape and aspirin.

-Mm-- -And I want you to have such a great day

that I volunteer to be mother-wrangler.

Oh, thank you, brother.

Andrew's far better at handling Marilyn than I am.

I just stick to certain quarantine protocols,

reduce exposure.

[shaver buzzes]

You all right there, princess?

Do you reckon I'm terminally immature?

[Mick] Ah... Yes!

I'd say yes and I hardly know you.

-[laughs] -I'm really asking.

Do you reckon I'm incapable of operating as a responsible adult in--

Relax! You've sorted your life so you don't have to be a grown up.

Yeah, but what if...

what if I ever, say, end up having a kid or something like that?

[rock music continues]

[phone rings]

[Jimmy] I...can't...

-Oh, you want me to put on speaker? -Yeah.

[Andrew] It's Nina.

[Nina] Jim, I've been thinking about

Zara's pregnancy and I just wanted to...

[Jimmy] Nina, hi, I can't really talk right now. Um...

Listen, don't tell Billie anything, okay? Until you and I have--

[Jimmy] No, no, I won't. Look, I've got to go. I'll speak to you later.

Jim--oh!

[car rumbles]

[thuds]

Nurse Zara...

She's pregnant?

Did you get her pregnant?

Far out! Jesus.

Women have got to be careful around that Proudman super sperm, hadn't they?

[Jimmy] It was an accident and I didn't even know what--

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, you cannot say any of this to Billie.

-Not today. It'll upset her. -Of course not. And--and, Mick,

-I'm so sorry if this makes you feel like shit. -[Mick] I'll get over it.

[Andrew] Well, it's nearly the moment to get suited up.

Gents.

Oh, shit.

Mom, you scared me.

Happy wedding day, Michael.

[Jimmy] Mick, um, I really am sorry.

[thumps]

[door shuts]

[gasps]

[thud]

There's Dad.

[Geraldine] Well, look at you,

This handsome devil

can help me take the cake to the venue, hm?

-Come on. He looks great. -Hey, um--

-Yeah? -I know this isn't the day to stir things up, but...

-Oh, um... has Geraldine said something to you? -No.

Is Geraldine stewing about something?

Oh, no, no. What's wrong?

Nina's basically accused me

of lying about you being Ray's biological, you know.

What? Why would Nina think there was--

Oh, she saw his blood type.

And she thinks that means he can't be yours.

Oh, what blood type is Ray?

Are you questioning my honesty too?

No. No, I just don't understand.

No, this isn't the best time. I've got to go.

Billie's waiting. [footsteps clunk]

[water sloshes]

[knocks]

[plops]

Oh, Billie, I thought you had a key!

Hang on. [doorknob clicks]

-Hey. -[Nina] Oh, hi.

I know you're busy and I don't want to waste your time.

But I was right before.

We'd talked ourselves into dead ends and...

we should fix that.

[moans]

[footsteps approaching]

[creaks]

[Nina] Say something.

Say something to make it all okay.

[floor squeaks]

[thud]

[light footsteps]

I didn't mean...

I think you should go, Chris.

I'm on a flight out tonight.

Can I see you before then?

I--I don't know.

I'll be at the Lyall Hotel until seven.

Come after the wedding. I'll wait.

I need to think.

Please go.

[footsteps thump]

[pop music]

[inaudible]

[laughs]

Can--can you believe I'm getting married today?

I've never even been into weddings.

This is nice.

Hey, thanks for being my bridesmaids.

-[Billie] Nin. -[Nina] Um?

[clangs]

This is it! It's perfect.

It seemed silly to waste the whole budget on a venue

for a small family-only event. It was a church once.

-Oh, it's great. It's still got a churchy vibe. -[Billie] Mm.

And the vendors are overseas.

-Are you gonna make a big entrance? -Yeah, that's the plan.

So you guys go inside, check it out. I'll wait here.

I'll meet mom and dad up the front when you give me the all clear.

And if there is such a thing as a Proudman wedding curse,

we spit in its face.

[footsteps clunk]

[camera clicks]

["Canon" by Pachelbel playing]

-Hi, honey! -Hey.

-[click] -[Jimmy] Nins. Look.

Nina, tell Billie five minutes.

Unless you want to wait for Patrick first.

Yeah... oh.

[phone rings]

It's beautiful in here

Mick says five minutes.

We're on schedule.

[giggling]

[giggling continues]

I hope you're gonna give me some grandchildren one day.

Are you saying I'd be good with kids?

Well, you always have been.

Do you think I'd make a good parent?

Surprisingly enough,

if it was with a strong woman...

yes, I do.

[heels clacking]

-You look gorgeous, Nina. -Oh, thank you.

I can see where the pretty went in the family.

Who are these people?

Are they supposed to be here? I mean, isn't it--

-meant to be family only? -Uh, well--

Renee's actually a qualified marriage celebrant.

So I'm registered and ready the day they legalize gay marriage.

Good on you, Renee.

[Renee] This is my first go at a wedding.

-Patrick's running late, is he? -Hmm?

Mmm. Mm-hm.

Excuse me.

[baby coos]

[Nina sighs]

-Hi. -Hi. No, thank you.

[thuds]

[tranquil music]

[sighs heavily]

[loud thuds]

[thudding continues]

[phone ringing]

[ringing continues]

[serene music]

[phone rings]

Ah! Ready to go.

Okay.

[rustles]

Jimmy! Where--

[car door slams]

[clanks]

[tapping]

[phone ringing]

-Hi. -Jimmy's bolted.

What? He's gone?

Oh, he said he had something urgent to do.

Oh... he said he had something urgent to do.

He's the best man and the photographer. He can't--

Want to come and wait inside now?

No, I'm gonna stay here.

Okay.

Jimmy! You almighty tool. Where are you?

Is this what you call being a best man?

[clanks]

[loud thuds]

[cell phone chimes]

[cell phone rings]

[shouting indistinctly]

[heavy footsteps]

[Jimmy] Zara.

-Hey. -Hey.

[cell phone ringing]

-Mick? -Listen, I can't get a hold of Jimmy.

We need to revise the schedule.

We should bring out the food now.

I am serene. I am bride-ly.

You are.

[phone clanks]

[gasps] Oh!

-Rocket! -Rocket! Get away from there.

[playful music]

[footsteps clunk]

[car door opens]

[sighing]

Huh!

-Thought I'd keep you company while we wait. -Aw.

[exhales loudly]

Oh, um, actually, can you get me some of those duck pancakes?

I'm starving.

The food...

What? What? Tell me.

Ro... Rocket ate some of it.

And the bits he didn't eat...

-Rocket slobbered all over the canapes? -Yes.

-But don't worry. -Not worried. Not worried.

This is a good omen. It means that the quota

-of Proudman bad luck is out of the way. -Yes.

-Now everything else is gonna run smoothly. -Yes.

Okay. [exhales]

Oh, how...how's Patrick coping

with an official family function?

Oh, what? You fought with him and now he's not coming?

Well, not exactly.

Oh... God, Nins!

What? You're chasing after the Chris Havel fantasy again?

Oh. I can run my own life.

You reckon? You should let me run your life.

I could wreck it any worse than you.

-Oh, okay, Billie! -What, you're gonna throw away

a great man like Patrick

so you can, what, float away on sexy fairy dust in your head?

I think it's different with Chris now.

No.

No, no. My--my skin is gonna go blotchy

because I'm all worked up about your shit.

And if I have mottled cheeks in our new wedding photos,

then I will never forgive you for the rest of our lives.

[scoffs]

I...I will only think about

serene, bride-ly things.

[running footsteps]

[hurrying footsteps]

-Jimmy's back. -Oh.

-Help. -What?

-I can't... Help. -Oh.

[footsteps clunk]

-Zara's keeping the baby. -Oh--

I'm having a baby.

Oh! God, that's great.

Um... um... Billie's about to arrive.

Just don't say anything to her about this today.

[guitar strums]

♪ It's because I love you

♪ Not because we're far apart

♪ It's because I love you

♪ And because you're near my heart ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ Do what you wanna do, be what you wanna be, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh

Hey. You look beautiful.

♪ Be what you wanna be, yeah

[echoing sound]

[female #1] What are you doing in my house?

[baby coos]

Oh... We're sorry. My sister and...

her partner, they--they deserve a great wedding because they've had a shit year,

infertility, a miscarriage and dead Japanese fish--

Excuse me. Not my problem.

You... get out or I'll call the police.

G'day. Darcy Proudman.

[feigned chuckle]

[song continues]

[guitar strums]

[clanks]

[zipper squeaks]

[thuds]

[light footsteps]

[Darcy] Love, over here.

[song continues]

[Darcy] You mean a central passageway?

[sighs]

I vowed we wouldn't have the wedding in this pub.

-Oh. You're upset, darling. -Mm.

I'm sorry if it's had anything to do with your father and me.

-Sorry? -I would've stayed discreet

if Geraldine hadn't turned up unannounced,

when Darcy and I were still in bed.

I hope your mother hasn't been blab--

Dad? Mom?

[Mick] What's going on?

Is it true? Did you...

Is--what?

What?

You--you slept with her?

Even for you, that's just... How could you?

I'm really sorry. Um, maybe now's not--

No. No. My wedding is not the time to be having sex

with the groom's mother.

Please tell me I didn't just hear that.

Yes. Your mother and your father in law.

[Mick] Ugh!

-[Nina] Billie. -No. Uh...just need a moment

to regain my bride-ly serenity.

[Nina] Oh, Ray.

I always felt like I was a part of this family.

[Darcy] Hey, Cherie.

Let's not think about that right now, Cherie.

[Cherie sobs]

[baby coos]

Um... Nina's cast some doubt

on whether I'm Ray's actual father.

[gasps] No! I...

It's a mix up. We can... we can untangle it later.

No. Sorry. We can untangle it now.

[Nina] Cherie.

Look, I agree, she could've meant, "Sorry, I've picked the other guy."

-But she could've meant "Sorry, I can't come to--" -Shut up, please.

If you stay here pawing at your wounded ego, you give Nina this choice,

one, a supposedly drop-dead gorgeous guy

offering himself in a romantic "I've yearned for you,"

despite many obstacles scenario

-or, two, -Mm-hm.

-difficult man hiding and sulking. -Piss off.

Well, given Nina's history with this guy, it's no wonder she's confused.

Oh. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Ooh. Oh! Sexual jealousy is a primitive emotion.

This is not sexual jealousy.

Well, so you don't care if she lusts after

Of course I don't loath the idea, but that's not the point, Kate.

She's choosing him instead of me. I'm losing her.

-Well, are you sure about that? -Yes, I saw them.

-I saw them kissing. -[Kate] Go and find her.

What have you got to lose?

My last shred of dignity.

-Right. -Better stay here and fondle

the last shred of your dignity on your own, then.

Could I hate anyone more than I hate you right now?

Yes, you'll hate yourself if you don't go

and fight for the high-quality woman that you love...

and who possibly loves you.

[door creaks open]

[footsteps approaching]

[sighs]

I'm so sorry your big day has turned out to be such a shemozzle.

We'll be all right. We'll be back on track in a minute.

Mm-hm.

[sighs heavily]

Mind you, there's no shortage of bad omens.

I'm the last person to badmouth my sons, but...

if Michael slept with your sister once, that's not to say--

-Did he tell you that? -Hm?

No. No, it was that, um...

little drunken lesbian.

She's quite a chatterbox.

Billie, I'm so sorry.

You must feel terrible knowing that...

your little brother has got some stray nurse pregnant

and you and Michael can't have babies at all.

Anyway...

I'll leave you to fix up your face.

[footfalls]

[sniffs]

[bangs]

Ah! Test kits for blood type

and, uh... some food for the guests.

I asked him to bring kebabs.

Thank you.

We can all test each other's blood.

Mm-hm. Finger.

That makes sense.

-[clicks] -Oh!

[Cherie] Jimmy? You're next.

[sobbing]

[dramatic music]

[Mick] Billie.

[floorboard creaking]

Oh, what's wrong?

What's wrong?

[sniffs]

[sighs]

Jimmy...

a baby.

I don't know if I can take it.

[whimpers]

Okay. Billie. Okay.

Billie...

I knew. Okay? I knew.

I just didn't want to tell you today.

Thanks.

[sobs]

God.

This is our wedding day. This is supposed to be...

a happy thing. And now look...

You're crying and we're sitting on the filthy floor

of a pub fucking toilet!

God.

All I want to do is make you happy, Billie.

But there's no point if you're crying. It's...

You know what? Let's...

Let's forget about getting married today. I'll just...

send everybody away.

She knows about Jimmy.

[floorboard creaks]

Well, the Proudman wedding curse has struck.

This means...

that there's something seriously wrong with me and Mick.

-What? No. There's--No. -Mm-hmm.

Well, now I think it's a-- it's a bad idea to get married.

Oh, bloody look at us.

We're a tragic joke.

Oh. That is not true, Billie.

Look, everyone else in the family's a tragic joke.

Look at me.

But you and Mick...

that's the one thing we're all sure about.

Look at all the crap that's been thrown at you.

You've--you've dealt with it.

You've dealt with it because you have

this great love.

And we need you to be together

so that we know it's possible.

Like a beacon of hope.

[both laughing]

Come on.

[soft music]

You look beautiful.

[laughs]

[Billie] Okay.

Thanks.

[Marilyn] I can't see it lasting.

She's got quite a tongue on her.

She doesn't listen to a word you say.

-Mum, please. -Really, Michael.

Can you make this woman happy?

Shut up, Mum.

Your father was hopeless

when it came to making a woman happy.

Get away from my man, you botoxed hyena!

You were lucky enough to have kids.

You were so lucky. But you didn't love them properly.

But Mick had other people like his dad and Mrs. Feta.

-Mrs Edam. -Mrs. Gouda?

I knew it was a cheese name. The--the piano teacher.

[laughs]

You sad, old vulture. Something shriveled up inside you

to make you like this, but Mick,

Mick's turned out okay despite you.

He is a beautiful and loving man

and--and now he's got me

and we're gonna make our own family.

Okay?

I'm sorry. I--

[Bleep] me dead. You are a magnificent woman.

[Billie mewls]

[hurried footsteps]

-Marry us... now! -Oh.

[Renee] Everybody, welcome.

Marriage is a partnership

in which each person can grow

and be their true self. [giggles]

Oh, shit, yeah!

True selves, that's it. [laughs]

[music continues]

Mick, will you take Billie to be your lawful wedded wife?

Will you cherish, honor...

Will you stand by her...

[music continues]

[Renee] Billie, take Mick.

Husband and wife!

[clapping]

[Cherie] About time too.

[Darcy] Couldn't have said it better myself.

-On ya, mate. -Jimmy, my brother!

-Oh. Congratulations. -[Billie giggles]

Hey, darling, where are you going?

I just got a date in Lyall to sort out my love life.

Oh!

[female #1] Well done.

Darling, congratulations.

♪ I only have one job in life

♪ Taking all the hurt the universe can serve ♪

♪ And make it right

♪ Everything I have is yours tonight ♪

♪ So, take my hand and off we go ♪

♪ Into the great unknown

♪ Won't tell a soul

♪ Where we are going

♪ We will erase

♪ Affairs and mistakes

♪ So out of love all that breaks amount to ♪

♪ More than just one make it count, girl ♪

♪ Let it go

♪ It's over, life starts now

Okay. So we know Ray is A,

Jimmy is B.

Yes. But remember,

O antigen is always masked by A or B type.

[gasps] Ooh. I love a puzzle.

♪ ...stops breathing

♪ See the light

♪ They gotta know

♪ I've got one dancing right

♪ The hearts...

[door clicks close]

[Patrick] Hi!

-Oh. -Where's Nina?

She's gone to the Lyall Hotel to sort her love life out.

I thought she'd gone there to find you.

Uh... no, not me.

Oh...

Um...

I'm so glad you came.

It's probably better if you don't touch me right now.

I won't be able to speak properly.

Okay.

Actually, don't look at me either.

-Why can't I not look at you? -[Nina chuckles]

Okay, just don't look at me like that.

Just...No. I just I need to get this out on one go.

And I'm not even sure about all of it.

Um, I'm not sure of it with every cell in my body.

Maybe if the timing had been right.

I--I can't be with you, Chris.

I've missed my chance, haven't I?

I'm in love with Patrick.

It's... it's not perfect.

And I don't even know if he'll want to be with me

after everything I've put him through.

But it's real and it's strong. And...

I want to give it a decent chance.

Then you should.

[sniffs]

I want you to be happy, Nina.

Obviously, I wish you were happier with me, but...

Bye.

[heartbreaking music]

[car rumbles by]

Pick up, pick up.

[cell phone rings]

[drum beats]

[cell phone ringing continuously]

[panting]

Ah.

Hi.

I'm sorry. I...

I called your place and Kate said you'd gone to the venue.

Yeah, there was some woman ranting about trespassing

and then the guy next door said you'd went to the pub.

But then your mom told me you'd gone.

-I thought that... -l went to see him...

Right.

To tell him I can't be with him.

Nina, you don't need to say that just because...

you know, you want to do the honorable thing. Or you know, that's the way

that the timing worked out, because it's not what I want.

No, that's not, that's not what I'm saying then.

Look, if you want to be with him...

you should.

I mean, it'd kill me, but...

The thing is, Nina...

-I need you to wanna be with me. -I do.

But I don't wanna be some second choice.

You're not. You're not. I'm, I'm...

Uh.

I'm in love with you.

I love you.

And I'm sorry that I...

I had to work all this stuff out in my head,

clear it away...

No. I get that.

-I still hate it. -I know. I'm sorry.

But it's-- it's different with you.

[Patrick] I know. But it doesn't matter.

Ah. I'm very bad at this.

[Patrick] Hey.

-[gasps] -I love you.

[Darcy] ♪ I stumbled and fell on a road with good intentions ♪

♪ Friends who's mean to brothers ♪

♪ Not to mention

♪ We will party all day and night ♪

♪ But then I started to lose a fight ♪

♪ Then you came along and was gone ♪

♪ And it felt like hell

♪ I didn't know a whole lot about angels till I met you ♪

♪ I thought it was just a fable that couldn't be true ♪

♪ But you came along and you changed my life ♪

♪ And I ended up with a damn good wife ♪

♪ I didn't know a whole lot about angels till I met you ♪

Watch out, you might actually be happy.

Look at you, all lit up.

♪ Out and about I can be everyone around me ♪

Well, it would require full DNA analysis,

but by the crude measure of blood type,

there is no reason to think that little Ray isn't Darcy's boy.

Nina's error was making an assumption about Darcy's blood type.

Now, if she--

Doesn't matter anymore.

♪ I thought it was just a fable that couldn't be true ♪

♪ But you came along and you changed my life ♪

♪ And I ended up with a damn good wife ♪

♪ I didn't know a whole lot about angels till I met you ♪

The probable blood types do tell us one thing for sure.

[song continuously playing]

Nina isn't Darcy's child.

Exactly.

♪ I found out what it meant

♪ The day I saw what heaven sent to me ♪

[theme music]