Original subtitles

Thanks for last night. Yeah, it

Oh. Why does it have to be Phil

Were are you having second thoughts about this sperm

Oh, well, is there any room for second tho

Once the Billy Proudman juggerna through town?

Dad hated me.

He didn't hate you.

You were his son.

I was his faggot son.

I'm pregnant. Oh.

Ha ha ha.

A friend of mine is interning where Patrick used to work.

She reckons that their opiate su had a habit of disappearing.

That Patrick's an addict.

I should go home now.

Do you have to?

Thank you.

Thank you.

[tranquil music]

[Nina] "Who's that fascinating woman?" they all thought,

as she breezed through the park.

Not the usual exercise freak.

-What'd she get up to last night? - [Nina] Thanks for asking.

This is the walk of a woman

who untangled her tingle last night.

-Walk of shame, huh? -[Nina] Not the walk of shame.

This is a victory lap, see how breezy I am?

Spreading sunshine, feeling groovy.

Just because a girl's never had casual sex before

doesn't mean she can't do it now.

This is the '90s

Not--not the '90s, the naughties.

No, this is whatever comes after the naughties.

This is--this is...

This is a woman who's missing an earring.

[groans]

Small price to pay.

♪ Oh why, oh why, oh why ♪

♪ Won't you sing Bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips, oh, oh ♪

♪ Bring your hips to me ♪

♪ To me Oh, bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips ♪

♪ Oh, oh Bring your hips to me ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ Oh why, oh why ♪ ♪ Oh why ♪

♪ Won't you sing ♪

[door click close]

[Nina] Morning.

Mom?

[key clanks]

[Jimmy] Why does everyone just assume

that I'm always free to do whatever they want.

[Billie] Because your always are.

And for your information, I've got a very busy day today.

-I'm going to a flash mob. -[Nina] Hello.

I've learned the dance, I'm wearing this shirt

I'm gonna participate in a collective artwork. Watch.

Sunrise, two, three, four. Sunset, two, three, four.

East wind, west wind, ocean floor.

Down-- no, wait, that comes later.

[Billie] Nina,

would you explain to Jimmy

that a flash mob doesn't earn him money.

[Jimmy] You can't put a price on art, Billie.

And why are your talking like that?

Why can't he go to his flash mob?

[Billie] Mick has to compose a sound track.

It's not even for a movie. A movie would be cool.

It's for a corporate video.

And it has to be finished by close of business today

and it pays good money.

Why are your talking like a serial killer?

I'm trying to stay calm to monitor my cortisol levels.

-[Jimmy] What's cortisol? -Stress hormone.

[Billie] Yes, and because I'm pregnant.

I need to keep my levels low.

[mimics Billie] By talking like a serial killer.

-By staying calm. -You know, sometimes when you talk

I just wanna reach for the remote and press mute.

[Nina laughing]

Sorry. Sorry.

Nina, what are you doing here?

Did you even come home last night?

[Nina] There's no reason to lie.

No, I didn't come home, last night

I was having casual sex with someone I don't even like.

[Jimmy] Wow!

[all laughing]

[Nina] On second thoughts.

Yeah, yeah, I came home last night.

-I didn't hear. -Well, I--

Well, I--Came in late. You were already asleep.

All right, that's enough.

Then I woke up early and thought, "Oh, I'll go for a walk."

So I walked through park, there were joggers

and then I-- I just ended up here.

I thought, "oh, fancy that. It's breakfast time.

I'll just go inside and have breakfast with mum."

Wow. Really kept hoping

that story was gonna go somewhere.

Well, what are you doing here?

-Oh, hairy bread at our place. -[Jimmy] And ours too.

Oh, mom's got croissants.

Good, because if I'm gonna work all day planting saplings

I'm gonna need to have a big--

-[Jimmy] Hi. -Buenas dias.

Ah, Mademoiselle Billie.

[smooch]

Good day, Jimmy.

And you must be Nina.

-Hi. -[Phil] Hi.

[Billie] Uh, thi-his is Phil D'Arabont.

Uh, actually pronounced "D'Arabont".

[groans] Hm, croissant. Hm...

Oh, God.

-Hi, mom. -Oh, everyone this is Phil.

We-we-- we've done the intros, mom.

Why are you wearing that?

Like the most people, I like to cross dress in the mornings.

[laughs]

-Uh... -[Nina] Dad.

Darcy.

What are you doing here, dad?

The bread was hairy at home.

I'm putting on croissants.

Yeah--Yes. You all seem very...

very cozy.

You're obviously, um...

Well...

I'm intruding.

Awkward, awkward.

-Awkward. -Yes, I was there.

Do you think that Phil D'Arabont looks like dad,

except maybe 10 years younger?

Billie, why are you protecting you belly?

because there's a baby in there.

Well, at this point, the baby's very tiny.

[Billie] You got some action last night.

What makes you think that?

You're in yesterday's clothes.

Plus, let's not forget elaborate yet--

yet pointless lie you subjected us all to back there.

All right, I did get some action last night.

[giggles] Ah!

Look at you.

So back on with Fraser?

[chuckles] No. No.

[Billie] So the guy at work who looks like Margaret Thatcher?

No!

Well, who was it? Give me a name.

I'm not telling.

Anyway, it was what it was, nothing more.

Oh, dear.

-What? -[Billie] You're still on the afterglow.

Endorphins.

In a few hours, you're gonna bottom out and be like,

"Oh, what did that all mean",

or you're gonna be falling in love with him.

No, no, that's not gonna happen.

How little you know yourself.

-You lost an earring. -I know myself.

I was sober, my eyes were open.

It's like the sex they have in European movies.

Yeah, right before someone gets their head smashed in

with the fire extinguisher.

Here. Have these.

-They're stuck together. -[Billie] Hm.

They were in with a Mintie. I think it melted.

Okay, go home, get changed.

Call me when you wanna go through last night

and every tiny little paranoid detail.

[Nina] That's not gonna happen.

Ow!

[door clicks]

That's weird. Where is dad?

[upbeat music]

[sighs]

[clanks]

[marker squeaking]

[squeaking continues]

[Nina] "How little you know yourself."

I know myself, it's fine.

-[Zara] Morning. -Zara,

-you're good at casual sex, aren't you? -Yes.

If the opportunity comes up,

you just think, "Sure, why not? Let's go for it."

-Yeah. -No strings attached. For fun. Like sport.

That's the third time you've asked me and my answer is still yes.

One night stands, hanky-panky on kitchen benches.

-Nina? -Hm, I'm just trying to bond with you.

Why aren't you bonding with Cherie?

Me? One night stands?

No, no, no, I'm not good at them.

Always seem to get them wrong.

You know, I try to be all mysterious

and then I end up falling in love or, you know, no.

Flings. I'm very good at flings.

Is that what Martin Clegg is? A fling.

I don't know what he is.

Hm, sorry, I'm just, uh--

I've just-- some pointers?

About casual sex? Not for you.

-Why not for me? -Because you can't do it.

-[Nina] Yes, I can. -No.

No, it's not for everyone, Nina.

You think I'm so uncool, don't you?

-Yes. -[Nina] Well, I'm not.

-What's going on with your earrings? -Billie lent them to me.

-Why? -No reason.

[Zara] Patrick? Cass in room 302 is...

[Nina] Okay, first sighting post encounter.

Raised eyebrows.

What do raised eyebrows mean in casual sex land?

[Patrick] Hey there, gorgeous girl from last night.

-You rocked my world. -[Nina] Or does it mean...?

[Patrick] The stench of you offends me. Ugh. Back off!

-[Nina] Zara would know how to play this. -[Zara] Yes, I would.

But there'd be no point in telling you.

You wouldn't be able to do it.

[Nina] See? I'm cool.

I emanate an aura

of indie rock and progressive politics.

-Ah, Nina. -Patrick.

-Hello. -Hello.

-How are you? -Good.

-How are you? -Good.

I'm gonna give Cass her epidural in 203 now.

Right.

Okay.

[Nina] Was that right? Did I do it right?

[Mick singing] ♪ Going into a mine ♪

♪ Ooh, and we're... ♪

♪ Digging a hole ♪

[keyboard strumming]

♪ A very big hole in the ground ♪

Oh, and we have rocks coming out.

[piano playing]

That's not rocks falling. That sounds like waterfall--

How do I--?

[loud knock on door]

[Mick sighs heavily]

Good day, Ah... I've got a delivery for a Mick Holland.

-That's me. -Great.

Where do you want it?

[sighs] What is it?

[bottles clanging]

[mobile phone ringing]

-[Andrew] Mick. -[Mick] Did you by any chance

order a baby's bed to come to my house?

-You like it? -You know the baby's not coming

for eight more months, right?

Uh, yeah. I got carried away.

Have you ever been to those baby shops?

-and before you know it. -[Mick] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew, it's actually not your job to buy the bed.

[Andrew] Oh, I don't mind. I wanted to.

The kid needs somewhere to sleep.

And I've never been a dad before.

Yeah, that's just... That's just it, Andrew.

You're not gonna be the dad.

Just come and take it away.

-Mick. -I mean it.

We're not keeping it.

Well. Okay.

Well, I can't today. I'm too busy.

-I'll call you tomorrow. -[phone beeps]

[Geraldine] That's good. That's good. Ground, ground, ground.

Mind the--Ok.

-Ugh. -Good. Good.

-[both sigh deeply] -It's gorgeous.

I just need somewhere to put it where Billie won't see it.

Oh, is it a surprise?

Not exactly. Look, if it stays here for today, is that okay?

Yeah. Of course.

Hey. How about a cup of tea?

Uh, love to but I got to run. I'm in

-the middle of something, okay. -All right.

Oh! Don't tell Billie.

My lips are sealed.

[chuckles]

[mobile phone ringing]

-Hi, Billie. -[Billie] Nins.

-How you doin'? -[Nina] Fine, good.

-[Billie] Really? -Really. I'm fine. Everything's fine, Billie.

It's just I've been thinking through last night.

-What do you mean? -[Billie] The way you left.

I mean, you'd been quiet and withdrawn all through dinner,

and then you had that phone call with work.

You're pregnant.

[Billie] And then we hugged.

And then you just disappeared.

And then you--you turned up at mom's this morning

and you'd been doing the wild thing all night.

-Hm. Um... -Think about it, Nins.

I--I find out that I'm pregnant

and then you go straight out and oingo-boingo.

The two things aren't connected, Billie.

Did the word "auntie" freaked you out?

No!

-This is so unlike you. -I've got to go.

[Billie] Feeling a little bit left out on the shelf.

Ugh!

[phone beeps]

-Hey, Billie. -Hey.

What would you say if I told you that I, Darcy Proudman,

not only have a new listing,

but it's a house that Phil D'Arabont couldn't sell?

-Oh, Dad. That's great. -Yes!

So where is it?

It's number 63 Barrett Street, Fitzroy.

Oh, Dad.

Dad, you--you do realize there was a murder in that house.

It wasn't a murder. It was an accident.

[Billie] That's-- that's the reason that Phil D'Arabont

-can't sell it. -Well, I can.

Dad, there are-- there are like, ghosts in the cupboards.

I'm gonna sell that house, Billie.

-[clanking] -Just you watch me.

[mobile phone ringing]

-Mom -Oh. Jim. Are you busy?

I'm busy, yes. I've got plans.

Look, I'm working on a deadline on this model

and I really need some supplies.

Oh, what am I to you guys? A bloody pack mule?

Oh, please, sweetheart.

[Geraldine] Look, I--I've just gotta keep working.

Have you got a pen? Just right this down.

It won't take you long. Got a pen?

-Yes. I got a pen. -You sure? You know what you're like.

Yes. I've got a freakin' pen!

[car door shuts]

-[Darcy] Pretty impressive, eh? Wait till you see inside.

-[mobile phone ringing] -Hello?

If I had sex every time someone got pregnant,

I'd have no time to do my job.

-[Billie] Who is this? -[Darcy] Come in.

[Nina] Last night had nothing to do with you being pregnant,

or me being left on the shelf.

Well, what was it about, then?

Well, maybe it turns out I'm the sort of person

that can have sex on a kitchen bench.

Did you have sex on a kitchen bench?

No. It was on a bed.

-Well, then, technically-- -The point is...

that it had nothing to do with you and I'd appreciate it--

[phone beeps]

-What was that about? -Nothing.

There you are, you see? No ghosts. No blood spatters.

I think this is the room where it happened.

The woman shot her husband twice, in the chest.

-It was an accident. -And she said it was an accident.

She heard a disturbance and she thought it was an intruder.

How do you mistake your husband for an intruder?

He'd come home early from a business trip and he hadn't told her about it.

And just happened to have a loaded gun standing by?

-She was acquitted. -It was the perfect crime.

It was a sad conspiracy of circumstance.

[footsteps clanking]

-Still... -[door creaking]

it's not easy to sell a house

that's had a murder in it. Even an accidental one.

Well, maybe, some things is best not to know.

Hey, it's not like you can pretend it didn't happen.

-Dad? -Oh, It's got a fantastic backyard.

Look at that! Perfect for kids.

Dad, there's no getting around it. You have to tell buyers

the truth about this house.

Don't you think that some things are best just left in the past?

I mean, what good does it do to know all this stuff?

Dad, neighbors will visit the owners on the first day.

"Hello. May I have a cup of sugar? And what about that grizzly murder?

I--I--I wouldn't buy it, now that I know.

And I'd be furious if you hadn't told me.

Fine, okay. I'll handle this one on my own.

[elevator ding]

[Nina] Don't let Billie freak you out. Be cool.

Cool with a K.

[grunts]

-Patrick. -Oh, hi.

Hi.

I just--I was--I just...

-Yeah. -I, uh, think I lost my earring.

-I think it's in your house. -Okay.

I'll have a look for it.

[jumpy music]

You are the coolest woman on the face of the earth.

Who are we kidding?

It wasn't a one-night thing.

I have to kiss you.

You've got a lot of hair stuck to your...

Oh, have I? It's probably a Mintie.

[elevator ding]

See ya later.

Okay.

[Nina] Ok what's just happened? What's going on?

Was that good?

[wheels rolling]

Deceptive or misleading conduct by a real estate agent.

Fine up to $1.1 million.

[Darcy sighs deeply]

I called the ombudsman.

They said it's a grey area.

-You see, the incident-- -Murder.

It happened five years ago.

And we only need to disclose if they ask.

This is more than just legal hoo-ha, dad.

Well, I'm happy to see it as "A lovely young couple

getting a great house for their family".

So, why spoil that?

A lie of omission's still... a lie.

All right. Okay. I--I--

You don't wanna have a part of this and--

-All right. I can respect that. -The Darcy Proudman I know

-would never deliberately lie to a buyer. -We need that sale.

Not that badly.

-We do. I do. -But, why?

Billie, I'm just-- I'm asking you,

as your father, to just believe in me.

I wish I could.

Billie you don't un-- You--

You don't know what it's like

to see something you've worked all your life

to build up just to evaporate in front of your eyes.

You don't know what it's like to be made... irrelevant.

If he thinks I'm gonna just curl up and die.

-[Billie] Who? -Phil D'Arabont!

What's this got to do with Phil D'Arabont?

[bag rustles]

[soft footfalls]

-Thank you, sweetheart. -Yup.

You know, it's a bit rich for your father

to get all het-up about me and Phil D'Arabont.

It's not like he hasn't had his fun over the years.

You've been stewing on that one all day, have you, mom?

Well, if it wasn't for you,

Darcy would never have seen that video footage.

And if it wasn't for you, there wouldn't have been any video footage.

Look, I-- I don't have time for this,

if I hurry, I can still make my flash mob.

[whispers] East wind, west wind

See ya later.

-What's that? -Nothing.

Okay.

[car horn honking]

[female #1] Claire!

I thought you were gonna miss it.

[inhales]

[exhales]

[rock music]

[people cheering]

[door clicks open]

[Billie] Mom!

[gasps]

[Geraldine] Hi.

[breathes heavily]

If ever there was a day to test my ability to control myself...

My cortisol levels are probably through the roof.

And I haven't even yelled at anyone.

Oh, darling. Come and have a cup of tea.

Mom, mom, if this thing with you and Phil D'Arabont

is designed to send dad completely gaga, it's worked.

But you've always encouraged me to go out and have affairs.

Yes. But not with Phil D'Arabont.

-[sighs] -Now dad's on some

"man of steel, kryptonite, I'm still here" jag

and he--wait for this

He's planning on not telling buyers

about a murder in a house.

It doesn't sound like Darcy.

Well, first-- first the heart attack and now this.

I wouldn't think it was a midlife crisis except he's already had one.

That's how he ended up with Ray, isn't it?

-Can you-can you talk to him? -Oh, the business is his thing.

I don't interfere. It's one of our unspoken rules.

But what am I suppose to do, mom?

I'm supposed to just sit back

and-and wait for him to get slapped

with a million dollar lawsuit?

Oh, darling.

Now, pride is a powerful thing, especially in a man.

Sometimes, you just have to let them work it out for themselves.

[inhales]

[exhales deeply]

Okay.

[smooch]

[piano keys playing]

[door shut]

[playing continues]

Hm...

-Oh, hello. -I love it. I love it.

-I love it. I love it. I love it. -What? What? What?

What are you talking about?

Daddy's bought you a brand new bed, all for you.

[groans] That.

-We're not keeping it. -What, it's gorgeous.

No, Andrew bought it.

-Alright? So don't fall in love with it. -And why not?

It was him marking his territory.

-Bullshit. -Well, think about it.

The baby sleeps in the bed.

Him buying the bed as his wife's saying,

"Your sperm is substandard, you're a failure

and you're not that kid's father."

Well, that's an awful lot for a bed to say.

And you know, this is exactly what happens

when you rush into things without discussing them first.

I'm the one that buys the bed, okay?

-It's my job and no one else's. -Okay. Between you and dad

I am living in a nightmare haze of testosterone.

[dog howling]

Come on, Django,

let's leave daddy to chew his bile in peace.

Django?

I'm trying out new names.

[phone ringing]

-Nins. -I'm nothing but happy for you, Billie.

You're having a baby. It's wonderful. I'm gonna be an auntie,

and just because two things happen on the same doesn't mean that they're connected.

-Don't hang up on me. -Will you hang up on me first?

-Hey, Nina. -[Nina] Hi.

Uh, there's something in the pigeonhole for you.

Oh, yeah, I saw that too.

[Kim] When the two of you are in bed--

[Cherie] I'm not answering anymore of your questions, Kim.

-Stop asking. -[Nina] Oh, no. No message?

Just the earring. Returned.

-What is it? -What? Nothing.

It's just, something I lost.

Nina, do you wanna know the secret to casual sex?

-Um-hm. -Just clear your mind.

And now think, I am a beautiful creature

and I have a secret.

-That's the secret? -Yes.

-The secret's having a secret? -Yes.

[Nina] Can it possibly work?

"I am a beautiful creature and I have a secret."

You're so up yourself.

[gasps] Oh.

No, I'm not.

[tranquil music]

[Nina] Okay. let's try again.

I'm a beautiful creature and I have a secret.

Don't worry , sweetheart. Might never happen.

[sighs]

[Nina] I am a beautiful creature and I--

have a lot of hair stuck to my earring.

God!

Well, bear in mind that I'm a guy who tried to attend a flash mob that wasn't even on.

So, if by "cool" you mean "gumby",

-then I'm your man. -I meant cool like you and Zara.

-Like me and Zara? -Yeah, you know, the sorta person

who can use someone else for empty physical gratification and then not care.

But then I automatically flip back into--

-Relationship mode. -Well, I'm no good at pretending nothing happened.

Who is this guy?

No one. I barely know him.

Give me another beer.

-You sure you want one? -Yeah. Give it to me.

And you know? I don't know why I have to--

Nins, Nins, isn't this a Billie-style conversation?

I can't talk to her she thinks I'm uncool.

How can you have that kind

of physical collision with someone

and then afterwards not even acknowledge it?

Tell me.

There's no need to talk about it if you both know what you're doing.

Excuse me? You're saying I don't know what I'm doing?

[chuckles] Oh.

[groans]

[Nina] Yup, okay, I have no idea what I'm doing.

So, gonna have to talk to Patrick

even if it's just to say, we banged hips together.

Something's do need to be said.

Yes. Say it.

[sheets rustling]

-Darcy. -Hey.

-Hey, I uh, I missed you this morning. -Oh.

-Last couple of mornings. -[Darcy] Yeah.

-Are you avoiding me? -No.

-[Cherie] Everything okay? -Yeah, yeah. Tremendous.

Ah, see, um, tremendous

is one of your words.

Yes, sometimes it means...

tremendous and other times,

it means, "Bugger you, and bugger off while you're at it.

Well, I promise you, this time, it means, tremendous.

[sighs heavily]

I'm sorry. I really am very busy.

[clears throat]

[footsteps thump]

[knocking]

Can I come in?

[footsteps clunk]

-[door closes] -You been playing?

I'm writing, this is what I do for work. I'm working.

Okay. Sorry for interrupting.

Where is the offending bed?

I hid it at Billie's mother's place so she wouldn't find it.

-Oh. -But she found it anyway.

Mick, I don't understand. I can see I've-- I've pushed some button.

It was meant was a present.

You know, celebrate.

I gotta work.

-You gotta grow up. -Oh, piss off!

I don't see you for years and then you come to me with this offer,

-but there's barbed wire all around it. -Yeah, that wasn't an offer.

The baby wasn't an offer.

-What was it then? -I needed your help.

-And I gave it to you. -Yeah, and it's humiliating for me.

-Don't you get that? -No.

And then you go and buy a bed,

like you tryin' to put a stamp on it.

Trying to get closer to the baby.

I am trying to get closer to you.

I see, so, in your mind the best thing for me to do is just go away?

Leave you and Billie alone.

And you can forget about me again.

Your kid. Your life.

Wow.

Okay.

[piano music]

Wow.

Wow!

-You like it? -I love it.

I mean, I probably shouldn't admit that in front of the real estate agent.

I can't believe it's in our price range.

God, it almost seems just too good to be true.

[cackles]

Um, have a look at the backyard.

Hey, comes free with the house.

-Yeah, check it out boys. -[kids cheering]

[boy #1] Dad, mom, can we get a pool and a train?

-[mother] Yes, yes, yes. -[father] Oh, take it easy. What about my tool shed?

[Nina] Just stay cool and say what comes into your head.

Nina, what are you doing here?

-I work here. -Oh, not today.

-You're on call. We don't need you. -Really?

-I'll call you when I need you. -What are you doing?

Get outta here.

-Oh, okay. -How can someone that smart be that dumb?

[Nina] Don't know whether disappointed or relieved.

-Oh, Nina. -Patrick.

Come with me.

This whole not talking thing is driving me crazy.

-Really? -Yes.

You stopped me in the lift.

And I think we're about to have that whole

"Let's talk about last night" conversation.

And all you wanted was your earring.

And that earring was hard to find, by the way.

I spent half the day looking for it.

Don't make me feel bad for that.

You put the earring in my pigeon hole.

I put it in your pigeon hole

because I didn't wanna embarrass you

by giving it back to you in person.

And then you said nothing.

I just-- I can't get a fix on you.

Nina, one minute you're warm, the next minute you're cold.

It's like you just use men for a quick physical tune up and you throw 'em away.

Excuse me, I have never done that my life.

Apart from anything, it's rude.

God, you really know how to charm a girl, don't you?

Well--what was the other night then?

It was what it was.

And it's not gonna happen again?

-Is that a question or a statement? -Question.

-You're asking me to sleep with you again? -No.

D'you want to?

[upbeat music]

Oh, you changed sheets.

-I like it in clean sheets. -Me too.

-What's the problem then? -No problem.

Kiss me.

Properly.

Oh, hi. [chuckles]

Well, we've just been to bank. And loan's been approved.

Oh, that's tremendous. Congratulations.

What do you reckon boys, excited?

-Yeah! -Yeah.

All right, shall we, uh, take a seat?

Well, actually. Can we go have another look

-through the house? -Why not? Good idea.

-Let's get the keys. -[father] Come boys, let's get in the car.

[keys clinks]

[running footsteps]

They're already planning where things are gonna go.

Yeah, and the boys are excited about each having their own room.

-Aren't you, boys? -[both] Yeah!

And the backyard.

-Actually, can they go out there? -Yeah, yeah sure.

[door clicking]

There you go.

Push that one. Yeah.

Careful boys.

Um, actually, just um... [sighs]

Before we take this any further, there is something I should tell you.

About five years ago,

a woman accidentally shot and killed her husband...

in this house.

My God.

I know how you must feel. But--

Can I suggest you consider this?

Every older house in this city has its history.

But that history isn't necessarily embedded in the walls.

Yeah, but knowing that uh--

Yeah, I understand totally

if you can't buy this house.

Myself, I'm not very...

big into superstition. But...

if you do like to think about the house as having...

spirits.

Then I'd say this.

The two of you, and those lovely boys

are exactly what this house needs.

You could move in and make a life here.

And fill the place with good spirits.

-We need to talk about this. -Yes, of course.

-Give us a moment, we'll uh... -Yeah.

Dad.

That wasn't just a sales pitch.

Uh.

It's what I believe.

I might lose the sale but--

[jolly music]

-Hi. -[gasps]

Huh. Its--

-What are you looking for? -Drugs. [laughs]

Do--No, I keep them in the, um,

keep them in the bedroom drawer.

I've got morphine, pethidine,

fentanyl. Anything you want.

Oh, no, no. That was a joke.

That was a stupid joke.

Okay. Looks like we're gonna do this.

No, really I don't know why I said that.

You've obviously heard the rumors.

I might-- might've heard that you-- had a drug habit--

Yup.

But you--

Now, you--you--

-Yes, I'm clean now, Nina. Here, come on. -No.

-No. Do you want a look? -No, no, don't.

You went looking.

-[Nina] Stop it. It's okay. -[Patrick] No needles,

-no vials, no patches. -[Nina] No.

Not as much as a codeine tablet. No, come on, you went looking.

-I don't--I'm sorry that I-- -It's toothpaste...

-[objects clatter] -What about tweezers, shaver, shaving cream...

[deep sigh]

[exhales deeply]

Could you please get dressed...

and go?

[plastic rustles]

[Andrew] We don't use foam packaging.

-[Adrian] That's what I tried to tell him. -Here, give it to me.

Javier, [speaks in Spanish]

[speaks in Spanish] Adios.

[keypad beeps]

You got to flirt with him.

[Mick] Andrew.

I've arranged for the bed to be returned to the shop.

Yeah.

About that...

You got a minute for a quick walk?

Yeah.

[Mick] I may have over reacted about the bed.

[Andrew] Yeah.

[Mick] It's just it all happened so fast, I barely had the chance

to register the fact that my swimmers weren't swimming.

And then, whoosh, Billie's pregnant.

[Andrew] Whoosh?

[Mick] Yeah, whoosh.

There's just wasn't any time to sort things out.

It's nobody's fault. It's just what happened.

Yeah.

-I'm sorry about the bed. -Forget about it.

With the money I'm making from the sound track

I can afford to buy the bed off you.

If that means that much to you.

Yeah, well...

Billie's already in love with it.

I mean you can buy whatever if you want, but the bed,

I wanna buy that.

I'll pay for the rocking horse.

You'll pay for the school fees.

[both laugh]

So the way I see it is this, okay?

You be the biological father,

I'll be the dad.

Oh, no, I've worked it out.

You can be the dad, the father, all that stuff.

I'm gonna be the orphan gay uncle

with unlimited supply of alcohol.

You don't stand a chance when the kid runs away from you two

he's gonna come right to my place.

Yeah.

[sigh]

Well, this is the reason I brought you here.

What?

Dad's here.

Out on that pitch, that's where I scattered his ashes.

Oh.

[upbeat music]

[metal clanks]

[door clicks shut]

-Hey, Nina. -Hey, Dad.

Mwah.

What's the matter, sweetheart?

Oh, just--

a thing with a man.

Oh. Hm. [sighs]

-Anything I can do? -No.

I mean,

I need to be more careful,

or--or cooler or something.

You know, there's a saying,

"The greatest ship calls for the deepest waters."

[keys chink]

What--what does that mean?

It means,

don't ever sell yourself short.

Thanks, Dad.

[smooch]

Oh.

-Ah. Thank you. -Oh, here, let me.

Thank you.

-In there. -Oh.

-You're Darcy Proudman. -And... Yeah.

Actually, I--I've seen your face on the posters.

Oh, right. [chuckles]

-Wendy Nielsen. -Oh.

A--actually, you sold one of my houses.

Really? I'm sure I would have remembered.

We never met. It wasn't a house that I lived in.

It's a house that I designed.

Oh.

Yes, I'm an architect.

-Oh, so I see. -[both chuckling]

Anyway, uh, it was nice to meet you.

You too, Wendy.

Hm.

[chuckles]

See you.

Bye!

[squeaking]

[keypad clicks]

[phone ringing]

[phone vibrating]

[vibrating continues]

Hey.

What does your history with drugs have to do with you and me?

What?

[Nina] We have sex

and then suddenly the walls come up

-and you kick me out. -Should I apologize for that?

I don't-- I don't want an apology. I want an explanation.

Okay, uh...

I-I can't.

[Patrick sighs]

I know what I'm like. Okay.

I have parameters.

And inside those parameters, I'm good. I can be a good doctor.

But I can't go outside of that.

So you think--you think

spending time with me is gonna drive you to drugs?

I'm trying to protect you.

Oh, what you're actually doing is insulting me.

[clears throat] And look, you're probably right.

I--I've had a number of difficult relationships in my life,

and I really don't want another one.

And that's that?

Great.

Just forget the whole thing ever happened.

Okay.

Fine. Goodbye.

[theme music]