Original subtitles

I don't think we have a future together.

It's not his fault.

I should have known better.

Yes, I am very much open to it.

We might have some sperm.

But hen you smiled at the idea of sleeping in a chicken coop,

I knew I could be with you forev

She's wrong for you.

If you marry her, you'll be maki the biggest mistake of your life

Do you like Tammy? I don't warm to her.

Where are you going?

Moving out. I'm sorry we've overstayed out welcome.

Jimmy, I didn’t...I don't want you to...

[phone dial bleeping]

[Geraldine sighs]

No, no, no. Don't use the home line.

It's much better if he sees your name flashing up.

And of course, don't sound angry.

But don't sound apologetic either.

Your father always traded in cheaper--

Would you like to call?

[Nina] I don't know why my family always recruit me

to have such difficult conversations.

It's not like I've ever been any good at it.

Mum, Billie and Stacy have been arrested

for shoplifting and indecent acts

in the Safeway frozen food section.

[groaning grasp]

She's got your entire vinyl collection

and unless you clean up this mess,

she's gonna break a vintage Ray Charles

on the hour, every hour.

[anxious exhale]

I delivered a baby boy yesterday,

and--and it turns out..

it's Dad's kid.

[Nina] Maybe they assume you get some sort of special training as a doctor,

a degree in tough conversations.

Hey, it's Jimmy. P. Leave us a message after the beep.

[Nina] It's not a special skill.

It's just fumbling up the difficult words and bracing for the fallout.

Hi, Jimmy. It's me.

It--it's been almost two weeks,

please call me back.

[anxious sigh]

We just feel terrible about everything,

we wanna figure it out somehow.

Please don't cut us off.

Hm. Personally, I think "terrible about everything"

-is just a little-- -Mum!

If you wanna call him, you're welcome to.

I quit!

[theme music]

♪ Oh, why, oh why ♪

♪ Won't you sing? Bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips ♪

♪ Oh, oh, bring your hips to me, to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips to me ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips, oh ♪

♪ Oh, bring your hips to me ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ Oh why, oh why ♪

♪ Oh why ♪

♪ Won't you sing ♪

[Mick] I'm staying out of this shit fire.

Mick, there's no escaping the shit fire.

We live in the shit fire.

Actually, Jimmy and I are cool.

-You've spoken to him? -No.

Well, how do you know you're cool if you haven't spoken to him?

Because if we weren't cool he would call me

and say "You're fucked."

-Well, go ahead and ring him now. -No.

-[Billie] Why? -Because that would be uncool.

[Geraldine sighs]

Well, it sounds like a fabulous relationship.

Two men, not communicating with each other

just in their respective zones maintaining coolness.

Yeah, it's kinda comforting.

[groaning]

-Oh, sorry. -No, could you just shut the door, please?

-Are you alright? -I'm fine. Can you just--

-Let me see it, please. -No, I'm--I'm fine.

No, you're not. You need sutures.

No, I just need to redress it.

No, you need sutures, and antiseptic,

and a new dressing.

Do you want my help?

Do I have a choice?

-Ah! -Just hold still.

How'd you get this?

Is it something to do with your sister's situation?

It's fine.

Then why am I stitching up your head?

Oh, sorry. [chuckles]

Let me tell you something about human nature.

When these blood and injuries and people in trouble,

other people get concerned.

-They just do. -Sure.

But not everyone is so keen to getting involved.

Wow. Offensive. Offensive on so many levels--

You have to admit you do get abnormally involved

in other people's dramas.

You'd have to admit you do get

abnormally cagey about your own dramas.

Well not everyone likes to parade them around the hospital.

You're saying I do that?

No.

I think your caginess is a bit of an act, really.

-Okay-- Ow! -I think you just wanna...

make people beg to help you.

You pretend you're avoiding attention, but, actually, you're desperate for it.

That's what I think.

Maybe.

You're pleased with yourself, aren't you?

Happy that you found another problem.

Shut up, or I'll injure you.

Oh, yeah? Then you'll have something else you can fix.

Shut up.

I prefer a softly, softly approach.

Oh, yes. Put your head in the sand, as usual, Darcy.

[Billie] I'd go the Ray angle.

Tell him that Ray's been calling out for him every night.

His only words are "Mama", "Dada" and "Ball".

Yeah, and now "Jimmy." It just amps it.

Tell him Rocket's dead.

-[all] What? -It's a dog!

-Mum! -What are you?

Oh, fine. Sick then, maimed.

Um, too far.

I need to be with Rocket at this time.

Oh, for goodness sake.

Hey, Jimmy.

It's Cherie calling.

I just wanted to let you know that, um,

I miss you and I love you.

[phone bleeps]

[Geraldine] Well, that's... that then.

Up to you.

Why does it always have to be me?

[phone rings]

Mm! Shh!

-Jimmy. -[Geraldine gasps]

Yeah, good, good.

It's really good to hear your voice.

Uh, yep.

I'm working in the afternoon. Morning?

-Mm-hm. -[paper rustles]

[Cherie] Yup.

Nicholson Street Backpackers, tomorrow morning.

Eleven a.m.

Yep. Okay, yes. Yeah, I will.

Uh... see you then, Jimmy. Bye.

[toaster rattles]

[kettle whistling]

Mick. Mickey.

Sweetie.

[groan]

My temperature's up.

What? [groans]

I think--I think I'm in the zone.

[deep inhale]

[loud exhale]

I thought it was in a couple of days but it's now.

I think we've gotta call Andrew.

He's gonna be in the Yarra Valley but I think only until mid-week.

[Mick urinating]

[urinating stops]

[toilet flushes]

There's always such a long time between the end of urination

and the flush, what happens in that time?

Billie, I thought we weren't doing this till next month.

No. What gives you that idea? Why would you think that?

'Cause we haven't talked about...

-anything. -No. Andrew's all set.

He's been abstaining for two days.

-What? -We gotta have a backlog to get the count up.

You've been setting this up the whole time with Andrew?

[Billie] Yeah. Just a bit. Just for working out the mechanics.

Okay, so when are we gonna talk about...

the big stuff, the arrangement.

How are we gonna work all this?

We can't hit him with that now. We gotta do that afterwards or he'll freak out.

[screams, then laughs] Confirmation.

Whatever.

Guess you don't need me anyway.

Mick, Mick, Mick.

-[Mick moans] -No.

You are essential.

This absolutely cannot happen without you.

[Mick moans]

And almost every website says that

chances are higher if the woman hits orgasms. I need you.

And I need you to be on your game.

[loud moan]

[phone beeps]

-[line rings] -Andrew...

Tina's gone 'Nutbush'.

[giggle] See you at lunchtime. Bye!

You developed a code?

-[Cherie] Nins. -Mm?

How's Jimmy?

[sighs] Sort of okay.

They were couch surfing now they're at Backpackers

trying to figure out the next step.

Is he still furious?

-You look busy. -No, what is it?

If I tell you this, will you promise--

-Forget it, forget it. -Well, you have to say now.

This is going to be my worst secret-keeping effort of all time.

-[Nina] What is it? -I told him don't--don't tell

anything you don't want the rest of the family to know, but...

What?

Jimmy and Tammy are getting married today.

At the City Registry Office 2:30 this afternoon.

What?

[rock music plays]

Hi, do you know where Jimmy Proudman is?

Oh, he's up in room one, there.

♪ As I crawl into the spaces ♪

♪ If I died on the screen ♪

♪ Life tearing at the seams ♪

♪ Way-yay-yay-yay-yay ♪

[Jimmy] She told you?

-Nina this is Victor, Theodore, -Hello.

-[Jimmy] Erasmus. -Hi.

[Jimmy] It's okay, you don't have to...

-It's okay. Good morning. -Good morning.

-[Victor] He has a sister? -[Theodore muttering]

[Erasmus] Ha! You jerk.

You were gonna get married and not tell anyone?

Jimmy this is too much.

Not having any of us there

when you get married.

[Jimmy] It's not about you?

This is Tammy's day and I don't want her around people who don't like her.

It's not that we don't like her--

-That's what you said. -No, no, no,

I said that "I didn't warm to her."

And I also said that I'd support you whatever you want to do.

-I don't remember that-- -I said that Jimmy.

I was probably in shock because because two seconds before you said you hated her!

-Putting Tammy aside-- -Yeah, you'd like that.

That first night back here,

Tammy and I were still awake at, like, four a.m., jet lagged,

checking your stuff out in your apartment.

All of your books and your CDs.

And she said to me

you were even more incredible than what I described.

[groans]

When Tammy really loves something, she calls it "amazable".

Like when she finds a dress she really loves, or a song.

I've never heard her say it about a person before

but she said it about you, you were amazable.

Then you spent the next month asking us to move out.

Then you said you hated her.

"Didn't warm to her."

-Where is Tammy? -[Jimmy] Getting her hair done.

[Nina] Jimmy, please.

If I--if I can make it up to Tammy,

will you please let me come to your wedding?

[street noise]

Wait here.

Wait.

-Hey! -Hey.

-Nina's here-- -[Nina] Great, another impossible conversation.

Tammy, can we just develop amnesia about the last month?

Can we all just mutually agree to pretend for the next 50 years?

Can we just wipe everything away with a group hug?

A case of wine?

[chatter and upbeat music]

Hi, Tammy.

Would you like to go for a walk or something?

Oh, I can't.

Tammy...

I feel terrible about...

about everything, I--I feel terrible

that you haven't felt welcomed.

We just love Jimmy so fiercely.

This was very sudden.

And we--we acted badly.

-I love Jimmy too. -I know.

I know you do.

I get that you're, like,

single and, like, older

and that Jimmy's kind of the man in your life.

But I never wanted to take him away from you.

I wanted us to be sisters.

That's what I want too.

So if there's any way that you can forgive me

I really wanna be there in your wedding today.

We all wanna be there at your wedding.

Even Billie?

Even Billie.

Hey?

-Yup? -Do you think he'll wanna deliver

in the lounge room or the bathroom, do you think?

I have no thoughts on the subject.

Will you ask him when he gets here?

[Mick] Why do I have to ask him?

I thought you wanted in on negotiations.

[scoffs] Not this one.

Well, he's your brother.

Yeah, like it's an easy subject for brothers.

Well, I can talk masturbation with Nina.

What about Jimmy?

This--we can't be in any way squeamish about this.

We have to think about this as though we're all...

cooking a meal together.

Yeah, that image doesn't really work for me.

I see us all standing around a big mixing bowl.

Well, just think about it as if we're--

we're cooking a barbecue.

You know Andrew's...

inside...

marinating the meat.

And I'm outside cooking the barbecue.

Okay, and what am I doing?

You're the fire starter.

That's not even a job. A fire starter is

a smelly cube of accelerant that comes out of a pop-out packet.

[door knocking]

The point is no squeamishness.

What--

[door opens]

He's part kelpie.

Yeah.

Well, kind of...

kelpie, heeler cross.

Right.

Yep.

[dog whimpers]

Well, um...

I might leave you boys to, um, discuss the... day.

Okay, Andrew, do you wanna go down the pub for--

Mick, we really-- I really think it's better if we get things going now.

Yeah, I just thought it'd be good to have a drink, and maybe have a laugh.

Just marinating meat, Mick, just marinating meat.

I reckon...

why don't you two head upstairs, get rolling,

I'll deliver down here, get the baster ready.

And I'll knock on the door, leave it on a dish outside.

Over to you. How's that sound?

-Yeah. -Yeah, sounds good.

[Mick] Here!

Billie, please call me.

Uh, the good news is

I--I've made some ground with Jimmy. We're talking.

And the bad news is,

well, it's not necessarily bad news,

but the somewhat surprising news is that

Jimmy is getting married today.

At City Registry Office at 2:30 p.m.

And I've said that we're all gonna be there.

So please call me.

Just call him in.

It's not like he's got anything social on.

Interesting.

You seem to know a lot about Dr Claig's movements, Cherie.

It's Clegg. He doesn't do anything but work and sleep,

and propagate African violets.

-Really? -[phone rings]

-Hey. -Where are you?

Just waiting. Um, Kim's gonna take my shift

and I'm pretty sure that Clegg is gonna take yours.

It's just Zara,

she's doing that cheeky, soft, smooth voice that she does but I don't know why.

I think you do know why, Cherie.

I--I can't get a hold of to Billie or Mick.

I've tried them about three times.

Is there any chance you can swing by their house for me?

Yeah.

[phone rings]

Hello, my lovely.

[Nina] Dad,

Jimmy's getting married in two hours

at the City Registry Office.

Wha-- [chuckles] Today?

In two hours.

-To Tammy? -Yes, to Tammy.

And I've told them the whole family are gonna be there,

we'll all gonna be supportive and accepting.

-At Jimmy. -Yes, Dad. Focus.

I need you to go to Mum's, tell her, and take her there.

Look, I think we should have a gentle conversation as a family--

It's beyond that, Dad!

I need you to go to Mum's and tell her.

No, love, look, I really think this would sound better coming from you.

No, you can do it.

Just remember you need to tell her in person

because she'll react and she'll probably try call Jimmy

and say something ridiculous. Do not let her call Jimmy.

-Okay. -In fact, take her phone off her

-before you say anything. -Okay.

And give her a G & T.

Not red wine, she goes maudlin on red wine. Give her a G & T.

And get her dressed

and--and take her to the City Registry Office by 2:30 a.m.

-A.M.? -P.M., p.m. I have to go.

Sorry, I gotta help Tammy. Bye. Sorry.

And?

Well, it was just... like I knew it would be.

As soon as they heard you were getting married, everything...

faded away.

They all wanna be there to support you.

[Tammy chuckles]

Yeah.

Okay, we need to go now.

I've been indicating for some time.

-Love you. Love you, love you. -[car honks loudly]

-Oh! Bye, almost-husband. -Bye, almost-wife.

-[Nina] Bye! -[giggling]

Oh, my God. I'm so happy you are here.

[sighing] Oh, yeah. I am too.

I've got a problem.

Please don't tell Jimmy about any of this.

What?

My half ex-fiancé Noel has flown into town

and he's really, really furious

and he keeps calling me and texting me

and now he's saying he's gonna crash the wedding.

Your half ex-fiancé?

Promise me you won't tell Jimmy.

Yeah.

-I reckon we should check now. -What?

Look, it's like it's been almost 20 minutes now. How long should it take?

Oh, let's wait half an hour. Then we'll check.

I don't know whether I should be, like,

like, at a level five or a level nine.

Well, let's offer mid-range.

-Okay. -Alright.

[cheerful music]

-[Ray coos] -Yeah.

[muttering]

[moaning]

[door knocking]

Shit, that's him. Open up.

Piano fingers, piano fingers.

[moaning]

-[Cherie] Billie! -[gasps]

Mick!

[grunting]

[Andrew] Is everything okay?

Yeah, everything's fine. As you were, as you were.

-[Billie] Bad, bad time. -Jimmy's getting married.

-[Billie] What? -Jimmy's getting married to Tammy in an hour.

What?

-[Rocket barking] -We gotta go to the Registry Office.

-No, I can't. Not right now. -Okay!

Oh! Shit. Get the dog, get the dog, get the dog!

[Mick] Rocket, down, down!

-[Mick] You got it? You got it? -[Billie] Careful, careful.

-[Mick] I got Rocket. -[Billie] Careful, careful.

-[Mick] Come on. -[Billie] Okay, okay.

Jimmy and Tammy are getting married today?

[indistinct loud muttering]

[Mick] Sorry, Cherie. I'm coming.

[dog whimpers]

You must be Andrew.

-Yes. -I'm Cherie. I'm, um,

yeah, Darcy's friend, Billie's--

[chuckles] I'm just a friend.

-Um, should we... -Yeah.

[dog barking]

Come on.

[cheerful music]

Look at this guy, front yard, the coat.

It's far too warm to be wearing a coat that thick.

I don't like it.

And look at this woman. Who goes to a house inspection wearing aerobics gear?

My darling,

could I have your phone for a moment?

Mm.

[phone rattles]

-Why? -I'll explain it in a minute.

Our son is getting married in about an hour.

So what we need to do is hop inside,

find you a lovely dress,

head to the Registry Office,

and be there for Jimmy.

[sighs]

Why would he get married?

Oh, God... knows we've given our children

a 30-year demonstration of the futility of marriage.

Is to spite us? Is he doing this to spite us?

Uh... I think

he's really in love.

And if it's any consolation,

I have always thought that you would make

a particularly sexy mother-of-the-groom.

You find everyone sexy, Darcy.

That's your problem.

[chuckles]

[cheerful music]

-[woman] Oh! -[Geraldine] Oh, excuse me.

Um, I don't think you're supposed to be--

Trust me, it's an emergency.

Uh, found them. A slight problem,

they kind of, uh...

They're trying for a baby. Literally, right now.

Uh, maybe give me a call.

[indistinct muttering]

[woman] Oh, thank you.

-Hi! -Um,

I have a booking under Proudman for the Thomas Hart room.

And then he started sending them, like, every hour.

"You invade my soul."

"You have shat on my heart."

-Ugh! -"I will love you forever."

"You are a whorebag slut."

-Whoa! Naked pictures! -Uh, yeah.

He's trying to prove like he's gotten thin.

And not that I have a problem with fat people or fat.

It's just that I think if you're gonna have a kid with someone--

[intercom buzzes]

-That's probably him. -What?

What?

It's the third floor.

Did you give him my address?

Oh, I thought, better having it out here than at the wedding.

-[Nina] No! -He would crash our wedding! He would do something like that.

He just does not care what he looks like.

[door knocks]

[gasps]

Can you stay? Please?

He would be less weird if there's someone else around.

I don't think you should be seeing your ex-boyfriends

-on the day of your wedding-- -No, please. Um--

Even if you just could stand somewhere where he could see you.

So he knows that you're here.

[door banging]

[ominous music]

[Tammy sighs]

-Oh, my God! -Oh!

-Hi. Hi. -Who is that? Hi.

Hey, you guys look amazing.

-Oh, I'm a bride! -It's Tammy's wedding.

-[Fraser] Really? Today? -Yeah! It's mental! Good mental.

-[Tammy chuckles] -Uh, congratulations.

[Nina] Come in. Come in.

[intercom buzzing]

-You alright? -[Nina] Um, yep, no...

Um, it's the third floor.

Oh, just--let's you and I go out on the balcony

-and just let Tammy-- -No, no, no! Please, I need you guys here!

-What's going on? -Uh, that's fine.

-It's just last minute-- -[Noel] Tammy!

[running footsteps]

Oh, my God. You totally are thin.

I did it for you.

-I did it all for you. -Oh, no. Please, no.

-[Tammy grunts] -I have eaten nothing

but lentils and sweet potato.

Hey, mate, don't grab her like that, yeah? It's not cool.

She is my wife!

[Tammy] No, no, no! That's not Jimmy! It's not him!

[Noel moaning]

-Your wife? -No, I'm not--legally.

Oh!

-[Billie] Have you laid out my black and white dress? -[Mick] Yes.

-The crossover shoes? -[Mick] Yes.

-And there's a tub of hot water and a washcloth in the bathroom? -Yes!

-My make-up bag? -In the car.

No! I wanna stay still for the full half hour.

[Mick sighs]

-Oh! Shit, the song! -What?

Uh, Tammy asked me ages ago to write a song for the wedding.

[clock dings loud] Okay! Let's go, go, go, go!

[grunts]

[grunts loud] Yep. Yep, yep.

-[Mick] Yeah. -[Billie] Bathroom.

[Mick] Watch your head, watch your head.

-[thud] -[Billie] Ow!

[Mick grunts]

[Darcy] If we can just find that one thing,

that one positive--

[Geraldine] Shut up, Darcy.

Maybe just the fact that he's feeling so much love--

Stop talking, please.

Alright, no need for us to--

Just stop!

[rock music plays]

♪ Oh, what can I do? ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Take my badge ♪

♪ But my heart remains ♪

♪ Lovin' you ♪

♪ Baby child ♪

♪ Tighten up ♪

♪ On your reigns ♪

♪ You're runnin' wild ♪

♪ Runnin' wild ♪

♪ It's true ♪

Hey, Jimmy. [chuckles]

[sighs] What can I say, I'm--

I'm just so...

[chuckles]

Thanks, Dad.

[chuckles]

[Nina] Oh, he's on his knees.

It's not a good sign.

Now he's crying too much.

Crying is not gonna help his case.

Whose side are you on?

Oh, I don't know. [anxious chuckle]

M--maybe I should give them a ten minute warning.

Yeah, uh, before you do, um...

Oh, what's this?

The card's kind of concise.

[paper rustles]

I hope it doesn't sound like...

attitude, like angst.

No.

I wrote massively longer versions, but it all...

pretty much boiled down to "Thanks for everything" or...

"Sorry for everything".

There's no reason to say sorry.

No, there is.

Uh, there is.

Fraser, I-- I really care about you.

No, don't.

-I do, I really do. -Don't.

[sighs]

It's, um,

been hard enough to get my head together about all this.

Let's just--

Yeah, you got another bit in there.

Uh, it's Italian lessons, eight Italian lessons.

[both chuckle]

Uh, I remember you said you wanted more time for stuff like that, so...

Yeah, now you got no excuse.

-Thanks. -[door opens]

-Excuse me. -[door closes]

Um... I just wanted to apologize

for the, um... moment.

We'll of course pay for any damage to your furniture or ornaments...

It's fine.

And Tammy wanted me to apologize

for saying she's my wife.

I should clarify.

She isn't.

There was an evening,

Duty Free section of Buenos Aires Airport,

that was really meaningful...

for me.

But whatever we said that night doesn't mean anything legal.

So Tammy wanted to apologize because... [clears throat]

...she's now thinking, given everything,

it's probably best not to go through with the wedding today.

Tammy, Tammy.

I just--I just really need some timeout right now.

What--what? This is your wedding day.

Please, I'm not good at dealing it with anger. So if you could just, please--

-[Nina] Just open the door. -I'm really freaking out right now.

Tammy!

[door clicks]

[nervous breathing]

-What are you saying? -I don't know.

Just really confused and I don't think I should be making any big decisions--

My brother is standing there,

waiting to pledge his life to you!

I'm definitely not saying I won't marry him ever,

-it's just-- -[Noel] What?!

That is not what you said to me.

I did! I said that we'll take it slowly

and take it one step at a time.

Please! If you could just tell Jimmy that I'm sorry

and I'd see him tonight--

No! I'm not speaking on your behalf.

-[Noel] Hey! Tammy! -How can I face him physically,

I don't even know what I'd say?

You just say the words, Tammy!

That's all there is to do.

You just face him and you say the words.

Then you deal with the fall out.

Now go and get your things together.

[Tammy panting]

Oh, my God.

Hi, Penelope Stanlake, marriage celebrant.

-You must be Jimmy? -Yeah.

Lovely to meet you, Jimmy. You look wonderful.

[Jimmy] Thank you.

Penelope Stanlake.

Darcy Proudman. Pleased to meet you.

You too. It's a windy old day, isn't it?

-I--I'm Geraldine. -Hi, Geraldine.

-You must be very proud. -We are, yes.

Gorgeous, gorgeous boy.

She's a lucky girl.

-Hey. -Hey.

[sighs]

Hey, uh, we're cool, aren't we?

Yeah, totally.

See? I told you.

-Where's Billie?

-[phone rings] -She's on standby.

-Hi, I'm Penelope Stanlake, -Hi. Cherie.

-Hi, Cherie. Is that your little baby? -[Cherie] Yes.

-[Penelope] Oh. -Uh, Tammy is not here yet,

so you've still got more time.

Is Mum there?

Yes.

How does she look?

Say "A" for depressed,

"B" for angry, "C" for drunk,

or "D" for all of the above.

Right. You ready?

Could you bring him out here?

Please, I--

I just--I don't think I can face the whole family.

Hm.

[Ray cooing]

-[Mick] She's here. Quick. -Shit!

[Nina clears throat]

Oh, hang on, It's just Nina. There's no sign of Tammy.

Why no Tammy?

Penelope Stanlake. Marriage celebrant.

-[Nina] Oh, hello. -[Jimmy] Where's Tammy?

[Nina] Uh, she's--

Could you just see her for a moment? She's waiting outside.

Why no Tammy?

[Nina] Uh, sorry, sorry! [chuckles]

[male muttering]

[Jimmy] Nins, what is it?

Nina!

What?

Yep, no. They're right in front of me.

Uh, looks like Nina's having a meltdown.

She's upset.

There's no Tammy. Not--and Nins, what--she's pacing.

-[Jimmy] What's going on? -[Nina] Oh, um.

Jimmy's asking her something.

Oh, she looks like she's gonna be sick.

[chuckles]

-What's going on? -Oh, uh...

[Jimmy] Nins, what's going on?

Oh, she's just--she's--

[Nina] There's nothing you can do.

Nothing but say the words.

[melodramatic music]

Jimmy...

Tammy said that sh--she

she can't go through with it today.

-Her ex-boyfriend arrived. -What?

And she was upset and confused.

[gasp]

She said she can't go through with it.

-I'm so sorry. -[Jimmy sighs]

[music continues]

Jim--

Nins, what happened?

[Nina] Jimmy.

[Darcy] She's not at either of our places. Not at yours?

No.

Have you been able to get a hold of Nina?

[sighs] Uh, no. Oh, I left a message saying we were here.

Are we horrible people?

In what way, my love?

Were we horrible to Tammy?

Well, you weren't exactly welcoming.

Oh, thanks very much.

Mum, why do you ask questions if you don't want to hear the answers?

Look, don't take this the wrong way,

but I reckon it would be tricky

coming into the Proudman family as a daughter-in-law.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, I was welcomed with open arms right from the start.

Yeah, that's not because you're a man. It's because you were--

Penniless? And shoeless?

And irresponsible? With ridiculous hair?

Guess we can be a little...

formidable?

-At times. -[Billie and Geraldine] Shut up.

-[Billie] What's happening? -[Nina sighs]

Cherie found him. He was at the Backpackers.

She's bringing him here.

What the hell happened to Tammy?

[Geraldine] Was it because of us?

No.

-Tammy's ex-boyfriend arrived. -[Billie] What?

[Nina] There was an emotional reunion.

-She got cold feet. -[Mick sighs]

-You are kidding. -I'll kill her.

I will kill her! Is he alright?

Cherie just said not good.

I will kill her!

Just no one say "we told you so."

Or anything judgmental about Tammy.

I'm sure he's feeling horrible enough as it is.

We don't need lessons on how to speak to Jimmy, Nina.

I know, I'm just saying--

-Giving us a lecture on-- -Okay, just say what you like!

Thank you. Your permission-- What?

Drink?

Jimmy...

Did Cherie tell you that she walked right in on Mick and Billie doing the turkey baster?

We weren't doing the turkey baster.

I did see the syringe though.

And Rocket tried to eat it.

-[Darcy] Oh, dear. -[Geraldine] Honestly!

When we were getting ready,

your mother forgot it was an open house.

She started undressing in front of Sri Lankan family.

[laughter]

-I didn't forget. -Oh.

And I gave them plenty of warning.

Oh, Billie insisted on being carried around

horizontally all afternoon.

[Geraldine] It's totally unscientific.

Mum's in one of those moods when she's tipsy

but she gets really angry when you say she's tipsy.

I'm not tipsy!

Well... [sighs]

my day's been uneventful.

[sighs heavily]

[Jimmy sobs]

Uh, a few weeks ago, I was asked to write a song for a wedding.

I called it "It's Beautiful To See You In Love."

Now, that song has undergone

some substantial last minute rewrites.

So please forgive some of the dodgier rhymes.

♪ Love, you fall in love and then that's that ♪

♪ Start off thin and then get fat♪

♪ Then somebody buys a cat ♪

♪ What's the use of falling in love ♪

♪ It's like getting slowly eaten by a bear ♪

♪ Start buying liquid soap and kitchenware ♪

♪ And shaving off your pubic hair ♪

♪ What's the use of love Because first ♪

♪ You're having sex like it's a career ♪

♪ Next you're stuck in fucking IKEA ♪

♪ How you got there you've no idea ♪

♪ Oh, Jimmy, you're brilliant You're one in a million ♪

♪ Someone breaks your heart then I'm willing to kill them ♪

♪ You've got a manzilian, dude ♪

♪ Haven't you suffered enough ♪

Hello.

[Patrick] Hello.

Nina, it's Patrick Reid here.

Oh! [chuckles] You sound formal.

Patrick Reid here.

[chuckles] Yup.

And, uh, you sound like you're having a good time.

Uh, it's possible. I'm a bit drunk.

-How's your head? -It's good. Thanks.

-That's why I'm calling. -Oh?

Look, um...

[sighs] ...you were right this morning.

Uh, it is related to my sister's situation.

She filed for divorce and her husband reacted badly.

I also reacted badly. Hence the wound.

Is your sister okay?

Yeah, yeah, she is. Thanks.

Um, I'm also sorry for...

you know, some of the things I said.

I was out of line.

Thank you.

I just, um...

You know I find some conversations...

difficult.

Everyone does.

Really? You don't seem to.

Oh--I do. I always do.

I find virtually every conversation difficult.

[Nina chuckles]

There's a difference between

finding conversations difficult

and making them difficult.

Excuse me?

Y--you saying I make conversations difficult.

-Sometimes. -Me?

Like right now.

It's a simple conversation.

I ring to offer an apology.

Somehow, it got difficult.

Because you're completely maddening, Patrick.

And insulting.

Well, perhaps if I say absolutely nothing,

this conversation would be easy for you.

Patrick, thanks for your call.

I--I appreciate your apology.

It's amazing. I'm glad your sister is okay.

Is it safe for me to speak now?

-Goodbye, Patrick. -You see. Difficult.

[theme music]