Original subtitles

Asian food.

What more can a man want?

Asian utensils.

And a fork.

That's all a man needs.

Is a fork.

But I want to make my wife happy.

It's so important to her that I learn the Asian culture.

Let's try it again.

You can do it.

You can do it.

Yeah, yeah, that's how you do it.

I know how to work chopsticks.

I'm in my man cave.

White men are always stabbing their food like barbarians.

Well, you know, when you use a real utensil like a fork... You're still

food like a barbarian.

I've tried, sweetheart. I'm trying to make your mom happy.

Everything I do in an Asian... No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, I kind of...

Thank you.

I'm not trying to be funny. I love you.

I love you, Mom.

How do you pick up a grain of rice with a knitting hand?

You pick it up. You don't stab it.

Look,

I got a couple.

You're so good at that.

You made a mess in my man cave.

I'm going to leave a cleaning girl here. What are you doing?

I made a mess. I like how nice and clean my place is and you're putting rice all

over the place.

Just on you.

We're not in China now, sweetheart.

Don't say that.

Here's a utensil that maybe you're not familiar with called the finger snake.

You're sweet.

Thank you.

And like this.

Like this.

And then you don't stab it.

Don't stab it.

What am I supposed to do with it?

You pick it up.

You're giving my mother a heart attack.

Well, teach me how to do this. I don't know how to do this.

And why are there little teddy bears on the chops? It's just not manly at all.

They're rabbits.

Oh, they're rabbits. Oh, that's a lot more manly of them.

Look, just like this. Open. I got a good idea.

You could just feed me when your mom's around.

No. Open.

No, actually, try.

Open, close.

Open and close. All right.

Open, close.

Open, close.

Is that good?

No? Just pick up the damn food.

Almost.

Almost. Almost. Almost.

Oh, that feels good.

Yeah. I'm so stressed out.

That's why I come to my man cave.

Almost.

Almost.

You know what we also use them for?

The unit of measurement.

I got your tongue.

Really? I got your tongue.

You feel silly?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Say one happy bunny.

That's used for more than just food?

Apparently so.

See?

So I'd say you're about one happy bunny.

Well, how would you know? My pants are on.

What are you doing?

I see your zippers down.

I don't usually let women into the man cave.

I don't even know what you're doing here right now.

I think you should just go.

Just go. See what your mom wants.

And this is how you use chopsticks.

What are you doing?

What the hell are you doing?

Looking at your laptop.

I'm married to your mom.

Is this part of the Asian culture?

It's part of the Asian culture to make the men happy.

Are you happy?

I don't hear you complaining.

Like halfway there.

Can I move this so I... Okay,

so I guess food time's over, right?

What are you doing?

Oh, that feels good.

So you're supposed to make the man happy in the Asian culture, right? Yeah.

My mother really likes you, so... I thought she loved me.

Yeah.

She's not going to love me if she saw what you were doing right now.

She just needs to know that we like each other and we enjoy each other's

company.

Well, I could see why my mother likes you.

Oh, my goodness.

I don't think this is right.

My stepdaughter's blowing me in my man cave.

Oh,

that feels really good.

That feels so good.

I love the way you giggle.

Makes me feel relaxed, baby.

Oh, that feels good.

You're going to make me really hard, and that's not right.

Bad things happen when a man's cock is hard.

Bad things happen.

Can you do me a favor?

Yeah. Can you, like, make it really wet and just pull the head of my cock? I'd

really like that.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

take your hand and stroke my cock make it really wet oh yeah

feel how hard it's getting oh yeah oh god oh yeah that's nice

oh yeah

oh yeah baby

So I guess what happens in the man cave stays in the man cave?

Really? That's what happens in the man cave?

Yeah. It's going to happen now in the man cave, baby.

Look at those beautiful fits.

I know what I want.

Everybody likes to eat cherries. I want you to lay on top of me so I can lick

your pussy while you suck my cock, baby.

Can you do that?

Can you do that for me, baby?

Oh yeah.

Oh baby,

of course you taste so nice.

Does that feel good, baby?

I feel so...

Thank you very much.

Good. Give me the long strokes, baby.

Long, slow strokes.

Like that.

That's what I like, baby.

I want to fill up your little pussy, baby. Your little Asian pussy, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I like big American men.

Oh.

Yeah.

You're fucking in my man's head, yeah.

That's it, baby.

That's it.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

So little.

So sweet.

Fuck me. Fuck.

Oh, yeah. Look at that cute ass baby.

Take a deep breath.

Take a fucking deep breath.

You like fucking your Asian stepdaughter?

Oh, I love it. I love it.

Fuck me.

I'm sorry.

Like tight little fortune cookies.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

He likes to hang out with young Asian boys.

You've got to work with...

You ready for me?

You know, come and play in here after Chinese practice.

Yeah, baby, you got to teach me those chopsticks again.

I think we should meet every afternoon around this time until I get it right.

You know, I can't stab the food. I got to be smooth, baby.

Yeah.

But I just stabbed you, baby.

I stabbed you for a long time.