Original subtitles

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪ - ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪ - ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪ - ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪ - ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Happy Days is filmed before a studio audience.

♪ Too late, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Too late, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Too bad, ooh, ooh... ♪

I still don't know why Richie had to stay up

all night studying... I mean, it was only a quiz.

He wants to keep his grade average up.

He doesn't want to get a "C."

What do you mean? For a "C,"

I'd sell my grandmother to the gypsies.

I like your grandmother.

- Yeah, Tillie's all right. - Hey! Guys!

Guys, come here! Come on, come on!

- What? - Outside. I saw...

Up in the sky! It was fantastic!

It's a flying saucer! Come on, you got to see it!

- It's great! Come on, everybody! - Flying saucer?

This never happened to me before.

Yeah, Fonz?

Oh... it's getting worse!

Now I'm getting chubby men!

Boy, I don't care if he is our best friend,

he's cracking up!

What do you mean? What's cracking up?

Who's cracking up? What's going on here?

I think Richie's wah, wah, wah has gone woo, woo, woo.

Hey, Rich! Rich, tell Fonz.

I dare you.

Yeah, yeah, tell him, nutso.

All right, hold it, stop. That's enough.

I don't want to hear nothing about my buddy Richie.

'Cause what he says, you believe.

You think that this face right here lies?

Fonz, I just saw a flying saucer.

Hey, what are you, nutso?

Did you see any little green men?

Look, look, the man's obviously overtired.

Too much studying. You better get some sleep, Rich.

I'm telling you, I saw a flying saucer.

Uh, Rich, this happens all the time

to people that live humdrum lives.

- Humdrum? - Yeah. When you got nothing else going

in your life, your brain kind of exaggerates, you know?

Now, wait a minute, I'm not humdrum.

I may be a little tired, but I... I'm not humdrum.

You're not humdrum, huh? What do you do with your nights?

All right, fine. I-I come home,

- I eat dinner... - Yeah.

- Do my homework... - Yeah.

Watch a little TV,

uh, Friday nights I play basketball,

Saturday nights I go on a date, Sunday nights I rest.

Humdrum!

Anybody home?

"Richie, your father made us go to the movies

"before the prices change.

"I left you a cold fish plate.

Love, Mom."

Ugh. Cold fish and soggy French fries.

Well, here I am...

eating leftovers, watching TV.

I don't know, maybe I am humdrum.

Oh. Come in.

Uh... hi, Ralph.

Great Alvin the chipmunk imitation.

Now, come on in and sit down. I'm trying to watch this show.

Boop...!

Good evening, earthling.

You're not Ralph.

Now, wait a minute, a-are you...

I was right! You're...

Did you say... "earthling"?

Are you an alien?

- Ah. - All right, put 'em up!

- Boop...! - Yeah, right, cancel that.

Right, now, just, uh...

just-just take it easy, all right?

I mean, just-just stay... very calm, because, uh...

I come in peace. No, no, you're the one.

You-you come in peace. I...

Look, will you just calm down? Calm down for one second!

Relax, earthling. I mean you no harm.

Oh.

Sure. How am I supposed to know?

What do you do, do you just, uh, use that to scare people with?

No, keeps rain off my head.

Are you Richie Cunningham?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, th-that's me.

- Is this your house? - Uh-huh.

Eh-eh, eh-eh.

Wait a minute, who are you?

I am Mork from Ork.

A-And those guys said I was crazy.

Hey, hey, I just...

I... I got the best idea. I want to show those guys, see?

Will you come down to Arnold's with me?

Oh.

Right, right.

Hey, if you're Mork from Ork...

then I got a tremendous scoop here!

- Scoop? - Uh, story.

News story. Uh, look, would you mind

if I just ask you a few questions?

Fire away, bucko.

Bucko. That's great.

- Okay, would you just mind having a seat? - Seat?

Yes.

Mork, you...

you know my nickname, you know where I live...

You don't even know how to sit?

See, you just... you put your, uh... down.

Oh.

Ah... Good.

Okay, your name is, uh, Mork,

and you come from the planet Ork.

Ever been to New York?

Just a little Earth humor.

Oh, humor.

Ah, ah!

That's it.

All right.

What is that yellow stick?

Oh, this is just a pencil.

Uh, oh, it's what we use to write with. What do you use?

I use this. I can also use it as a weapon to immobilize you.

Not now.

I can also point with it. I can scratch with it.

I can call people with it. Hey, you, come here.

Unique, isn't it?

What is the purpose of your visit to Earth?

Purpose. Recall.

Ah. I am here on your planet to collect specimens

for assembling on our planet.

No kidding?

Anybody in particular?

Yes.

What, the president?!

Oh, no, no, no, not in Milwaukee. Uh...

Are you gonna take Hank Aaron?

Hank Aaron? No, no.

He is too famous.

We would have to trade the entire planet for him.

- Oh. - What we need is someone average.

Humdrum.

I know somebody humdrum.

No, no, I-I can't go.

I... Well, I can't just leave like that.

Oh, it will only take an instant.

I'll bring you right back.

Just an instant?

I-I'll be back, just like that?

Zabadee.

Just a zabadee?

All right. All right, what could it hurt?

- I'm gonna go. I... - Ah.

All right, I-I got to get some clothes.

Uh, what do the men wear on Ork?

Uh, same thing our females do. Nothing.

Females wear nothing?

- Mm. - What do they look like?

- Ee-ee, ee-ee. - Oh.

Would you like to see a picture of me and my girl?

Yeah. Sure.

Deebee.

Oh, uh... which one is you?

- Can't you tell? - No.

- That's why we don't bother with clothes. - Oh.

All right, uh... no clothes.

So, I got to get a camera, all right?

And, uh, some film.

I need more paper and some pencils.

See, I can't do that with my finger the way you can.

- Pity. - Yeah.

Would you mind if I just went to my room and got that stuff?

Oh, fine. Thanks a lot.

Oh, uh, listen, just make yourself comfortable.

You got the TV there.

Oh, well, you broke that.

No. Can repair instantly.

Oh, very good!

All right, and you got some food there, too, all right?

Food? Ah, fidba. Yay.

Needs salt.

We return to The Andy Griffith Show

after these messages.

I like that boy, Opie.

Why does an Earth boy have a Martian name, though?

- Well, I didn't like it. - I liked it. I liked it.

- No, I didn't like it. - Well, it was so-so.

It wasn't worth the full price ticket.

Oh, my.

Well, hello. Uh, you must be a friend of Richard's.

Oh, I'm Howard Cunningham, Richard's father,

and this is Mrs. Cunningham and our daughter Joanie.

- Hi. - I am Mork from Ork.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, I... Yes, O-R-K.

- O-R-K. - Yes.

Well, Richard pledged A.T.O.

He didn't have a suit like that.

- Oh. - No. They stuck feathers on him.

I like feathers, but I find them fattening.

Oh, brother.

He's another Ralph Malph.

Uh, won't you make yourself comfortable?

Oh, thank you.

Uh, well, I think I'll just turn off the TV set.

Jiminy Crickets, there goes the TV again!

Oh, dear.

Uh, would you like something to drink?

Do you have any Pingee?

Pingee?

It is a soft drink on Ork.

Comes in five delicious flavors:

Taz, Mah, Sheezba, Baba and Shishwannee.

Well, Mom, why don't you get a case of Shishwannee?

No, dear, it gives you cavities.

Cavities.

Ah, ah, ah, ah!

I don't believe what I'm hearing.

Richard, will you come down here right away, please?

Oh, Dad.

Oh, Mom, good, I'm glad you're here.

Oh, a lot has happened since the last time I saw you.

I mean, I... well, I don't even know where to start.

I know where to start.

You'll start with him. Where did you find him?

Yeah, where did he come from?

What kind of man did you bring in...?

Boop...!

Why did you do that?

He drew first.

Well, are they gonna be all right?

The effects wear off very soon.

Now we must hurry. We do not have much time.

All right. Okay, I just want to make some, uh, sandwiches

for the trip, okay?

Do you have some of that Earth delicacy, baloney?

Uh, baloney? Well, I-I'm not sure, but I'll check.

We need it for fuel.

Uh, how long are we gonna be gone, anyway?

Uh, about a bleem.

Uh, a-a bleem.

Okay, well how long would that be in Earth time?

- You know, a day, a week... - Uh, Earth time.

2,000 years.

Stop, Earth specimen.

Eep!

Shazbot, I missed.

No one has ever escaped from Mork.

Think humdrum.

Humdrum, humdrum, humdrum.

Fonz, I got to talk to you; it's life and death.

What's up?

Fonz, a guy's after me.

Mork from Ork.

I don't know him; must be from the east side.

No, no, no east side.

I mean this is, uh,

north through the Milky Way and hang a right.

It's a spacemen, Fonzie, and he's after me.

He's... A spaceman after you?

What does he want with you?

Because I'm average.

- I told you. - Yeah, I know.

You're right. He said I'm humdrum,

- and that's why he wants me. - Yeah.

He wants to take me in his spaceship.

Oh, make sure you get a, uh, window seat.

Fonz, I'm not joking around here.

Yeah, it must be serious, 'cause why else would you tempt fate?

That's right, it's serious.

He wants to take me away for a bleem...

That's 2,000 years.

Mr. Cunningham, you are holding on to my jacket.

- Well, what should I do? - Let go of my jacket.

Hey, that's much better.

Now, because you're a friend of mine, I'll check him out.

- Oh, thanks. - Yeah. A bleem, huh?

- 2,000 years. - Get out of here.

♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ♪

♪ His name is my name, too ♪

♪ Yes, it is ♪

♪ Whenever we go... ♪

Whoa!

Oh, wait.

Fonz, hey.

Fonz, you see, it's that finger of his.

- Hey... - He just points it once,

and wham, bam, good-bye Cunningham.

You ain't whistling Dixie.

Hey, uh, partner, that is some finger there

you're packing, huh?

Now, maybe we can work this out, just you and me, you know?

What is there to work out?

It is settled. Come along, specimen.

Uh, wait a minute, let me tell you something.

You ain't taking my buddy here.

You got to get through me first.

Oh, splendid. A Holitacker. I love a Holitacker.

What is a Holitacker?

In your language, specimen, it is a challenge.

If your champion defeats me, you do not have to go with me.

All right, let me get this straight.

If I win, you don't take the specimen here.

You read me, creature.

Creature? You want to rumble?

Rumble? ♪ Da, da, da, da, da. ♪

That is a Holitacker. Let us make it official.

Then we must introduce the local celebrities.

Can we get on with this, now?

Anytime you're ready.

I have been challenged on 200 planets. I am undefeated.

So am I.

Yeah, that's right.

Fonzie's never lost a Holitacker yet.

Yeah, and we got the home planet advantage.

Just count to three, then, specimen.

All right.

Get him, Fonz.

One, two, three!

Eep! No contest. Let's go, specimen.

Wait a minute. Fonzie, he can't just...

Well... Oh, Fonz, I'm sorry.

I guess the finger was just too much.

Oh.

So long, buddy.

Let's go.

Hey, wait a minute, wait.

Look at his thumb.

See what he's doing with his thumb?

Impossible. This has never happened before.

Yeah, well, you never ran up against the Fonz before, bucko.

Aaayyh.

So, at last, a worthy opponent.

Oh, what a great story.

Fonzie's thumb saving us from that deadly alien finger.

- Uncle. - Yeah.

Would you like to try for the next plateau?

Anything you say, Jack.

Can you do this? Eep!

Eep!

Eep!

Eep!

All right, all right, it's a draw! It's a draw!

The jukebox was a draw.

Can your champion do this, specimen?

Eep!

Aha.

Good going, Fonz.

So you want a good one.

Watch this.

Eep!

Nee-nee, nee-nee, nee-nee, nee-nee.

Now, try this.

No, wait, Fonz. No, not her.

All right, all right.

Interesting.

Eep.

- All right, I'll give you that one. - Yeah.

How about a little target practice, then?

Eep!

Eep! - Eep!

You give up now?

Nothing can top this.

I put my two fingers together,

and the entire building collapses.

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute!

What are you talking about, the whole building collapses?

It's fantastic... screams, Technicolor, everything.

What about the people in the building?

Wrecks them pretty bad, kills a few, too.

Well, you're in here, too, you know.

That's part of the fun.

Must be a pretty tough bugger.

No, not a question of toughness.

I am protected by a stellar force field. Watch.

See?

Fonzie, you can't let him collapse the building.

All right, all right, ho, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.

Just stop.

You admit defeat?

Yeah, all right, you w...

You w... - Tell him. - Win.

Yeah.

Good.

I'll go peacefully.

No, not necessary.

This is the best contest I've had in 20 bleems.

The only reason I won is because your champion

cared about his earthling friends.

Funny thing, this warmth.

We don't have it on Ork.

We tried it once a long time ago. Didn't work.

Overpopulation.

Now I must leave your planet Earth.

But I tip my kripla to you, sir.

You're telling me that, uh,

you're not taking my pal here, right?

Well, I tip my krila to you, too.

Thank you.

Thank you for not taking me.

Oh, I'm not taking you, I'm taking him.

Hey, get out of here.

We need a new champion on Ork.

We must now enter the time warp.

We must now enter the time warp.

Hey, wait! No, wait!

You're not taking Fonzie.

No, I can't let you do... do it!

Why are you taking him?

You don't... I mean, he's very...

Fonz, don't let him take you like that.

Please, Fonzie, don't let him! You could stop him!

Whoa.

Fonzie?

Fonz!

Oh.

Don't take him! No, please!

Please, don't take the Fonz!

No, please don't take Fonzie!

- Please! - Richard?

- I'll get you some baloney! - Richard, wake up.

- If you want baloney, I'll... - Wake up, son.

What? What?

Oh, you'd better go on up to bed, dear.

You fell asleep on the couch. Come on.

No, wait, see, I-I...

I came home right after I saw the flying saucer.

Another crackpot.

A lot of people thought they saw it.

It was a weather balloon.

We heard it on the radio on the way home.

Oh, but this was so real.

And then... and then he came down here,

and he wanted to take me, but no.

No, see, I escaped to Arnold's.

And then... and then, he and Fonzie were dueling.

Mork and the Fonz, and it was a... you know,

the gun versus the thumb and the finger, and...

- It must have been some dream. - It was.

- Good night, Richie. - Good night, Richard.

Such a cute dream, dear.

You have such a good imagination.

But, uh...

When I was your age, I used to dream about girls.

I'll tell you one thing.

I'll settle for humdrum any day, now.

- Good night, Richard. - Night.

Oh, don't worry, I'll get it.

Uh, excuse me, um... Mork! You're Mork!

Dad, Dad, he's... This is Mork!

Good night, Richard.

Yeah, but he's gonna take me away!

Don't you care? If you...

All right, fine, you don't care.

I'll be gone for about a bleem.

Wear something warm.

Let's go.

Oh, that's all right. I was lost.

I was looking for directions to highway 41, but that's okay.

- No, but you're... - I'll just...

I'll just close the door real slow.

No loud noises, okay?

Hey, uh, what'd you get on the Spanish quiz, Ralph?

I passed.

Well, I got a B-plus.

You see, now that's why I stay up all night studying.

I flunked. But I'm well-rested.

Okay, everybody, closing time.

Everybody out!

Hey, guys, guys!

O-Outside, you won't believe what I just saw!

Another flying saucer.

Better. The Hooper triplets got new sweaters.

- Come on, everybody, let's go! - All right!

That's the fastest I've ever closed.

- ♪ Happy and free ♪ - ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These are such Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪ - ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪ - ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪