All language subtitles for Get Smart S02E18 Cutback at Control.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.HBO

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:12,822 PERKINS, I THINK IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE FOR ACCOUNTING TO SEND YOU DOWN HERE. 2 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,492 I'M ONLY CHECKING OUT OUR AGENTS IN ACCORDANCE 3 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,962 WITH CONTROL'S NEW DIRECTIVE ON ECONOMY. 4 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:22,332 WELL, STAY OUT OF MY WAY. IN JUST A FEW MINUTES ERIC KRUGER... 5 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:26,003 ONE OF KAOS'S TOP AGENTS... WILL BE COMING OUT OF THAT THEATER DOOR. 6 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,405 WHY DON'T YOU GO IN AFTER HIM? 7 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,540 I'VE SEEN THE PICTURE. 8 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,976 GOOD. BY WAITING FOR HIM OUTSIDE THE THEATER 9 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,168 YOU SAVED CONTROL $1.80. 10 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,537 STAND BACK. HERE HE COMES NOW. 11 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,406 ALL RIGHT, KRUGER, HOLD IT. 12 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,374 I'LL HAVE TO REPORT YOU, SMART. 13 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,877 REPORT ME? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, PERKINS? 14 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,046 - THAT'S KRUGER, ISN'T IT? - THAT MAY BE KRUGER 15 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:13,282 BUT YOU USED THREE BULLETS WHEN YOU COULD'VE USED ONE. 16 00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:17,020 NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, PERKINS. I KNOW THERE'S A CUTBACK AT APPROPRIATIONS, 17 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,454 BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 18 00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:20,690 THE DIRECTIVE STATES: 19 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:24,928 "ALL AGENTS WILL ECONOMIZE ON BULLETS, EXPLODING CAPSULES 20 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:27,296 AND SUICIDE PILLS." 21 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,766 SUICIDE PILLS? ARE YOU KIDDING? 22 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:32,202 I'VE SAVED CONTROL A FORTUNE ON SUICIDE PILLS. 23 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:35,071 WHY, IN ALL THE YEARS I'VE BEEN WITH THEM, I'VE ONLY TAKEN 24 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,662 SIX OR SEVEN. AND THAT WAS ONLY TO PLEASE THE CHIEF. 25 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,647 - SMART, THAT MAKES FOUR. - BUT, PERKINS... 26 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:48,284 I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE GOING TO EXPLAIN FOUR BULLETS IN KRUGER. 27 00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:52,255 MAYBE WE COULD SAY THAT THREE OF THEM WERE SELF-INFLICTED. 28 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:55,525 YOU'VE BEEN HIT. 29 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,360 I'D BETTER GET YOU AN AMBULANCE. 30 00:01:57,384 --> 00:02:00,162 OH NO, I... I'LL TAKE A CROSSTOWN BUS. 31 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:03,033 A CROSSTOWN BUS? BUT YOU NEED A DOCTOR. 32 00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:06,236 OH NO. CONTROL'S BUDGET COULD NEVER STAND IT. 33 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:09,439 I'LL JUST WASH OUT THE WOUND MYSELF AND PUT ON A LITTLE IODINE. 34 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:13,064 WELL, I'D BETTER CALL THE CHIEF AND TELL HIM WE'VE GOT OUR MAN. 35 00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:25,789 - Operator: What number are you calling? - 555-9417. 36 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,625 I'm sorry, that number has been disconnected. 37 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:32,183 - DISCONNECTED? - For failure to pay their bill. 38 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,939 COME ON, WE'D BETTER GET DOWN TO HEADQUARTERS AND FIND OUT ABOUT THIS. 39 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,975 MY CAR IS PARKED RIGHT OUTSIDE IN THE STREET. 40 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,543 - IS THAT LITTLE RED CAR OUT THERE YOURS? - YES, IT IS. 41 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:50,013 I'M FROM A FINANCE COMPANY. WE'RE REPOSSESSING IT. 42 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,949 - REPOSSESSING IT? - CONTROL MISSED TWO PAYMENTS. 43 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,140 SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO TAKE IT BACK. 44 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,188 THAT MAKES FIVE. 45 00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,924 - WHO'S THAT? - KRUGER. 46 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,881 CAN I HAVE THE CAR KEYS, PLEASE? 47 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:06,897 OH, ONE THING: 48 00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:09,966 BE CAREFUL OF THE MACHINE GUN IN THE EXHAUST PIPE. 49 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,501 IT'S BEEN BACKFIRING LATELY. 50 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,203 MACHINE GUN IN THE EXHAUST PIPE, RIGHT. 51 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:15,739 OH, ANOTHER THING: 52 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:20,110 DON'T REMOVE THE RADIATOR CAP. IT SPRAYS A POISONOUS GAS. 53 00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:23,213 POISONOUS GAS FROM RADIATOR, RIGHT. 54 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,714 OH, ONE LAST THING: 55 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:28,351 DON'T USE THE CIGARETTE LIGHTER. IT'S A HAND GRENADE. 56 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:32,622 LIGHTER IS A HAND GRENADE. RIGHT. 57 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,390 YOU'VE GOT A DANGEROUS CAR THERE. 58 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,315 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU SAY THAT. IT'S GOT SEAT BELTS. 59 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:45,401 WELL, PERKINS, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE THE BUS. 60 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,526 SAY, HAVE YOU GOT 25¢? 61 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:58,070 FORGOT TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE GAS PEDAL. 62 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,244 WE HAD TO LET THE LAB MEN GO. 63 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:04,414 CHIEF, DO YOU KNOW THEY'VE DISCONNECTED MY SHOE PHONE? 64 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,958 YES, I KNOW, MAX. AND I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR GUN. 65 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,744 HOLSTER? 66 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:17,182 WELL, AT LEAST I STILL HAVE MY TEAR-GAS PEN. 67 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:23,933 CHIEF, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. 68 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,636 CAN'T YOU AT LEAST GIVE ME A SET OF BRASS KNUCKLES? 69 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:30,606 BRASS IS TOO EXPENSIVE, MAX. I CAN LET YOU HAVE A NEW ALUMINUM JOB. 70 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:33,142 ALUMINUM KNUCKLES? 71 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,701 NOT KNUCKLES, MAX, KNUCKLE. ONE WILL HAVE TO DO. 72 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,717 OH, AND I'LL TAKE THAT SUICIDE PILL. IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE. 73 00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:45,655 WELL, CHIEF, WHAT ARE THEY GONNA USE IN PLACE OF THE SUICIDE PILL? 74 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,691 IF IT'S REALLY NECESSARY, I'D SUGGEST A ROPE AND A CHAIR. 75 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:52,929 BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, CHIEF. YOU KNOW THAT KAOS ALWAYS 76 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:56,632 - SEARCHES ITS CAPTIVES FOR ROPE AND TWINE. - OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 77 00:05:56,656 --> 00:06:00,603 OF COURSE IF WORSE COMES TO WORST, I CAN ALWAYS BEAT MYSELF TO DEATH WITH A CHAIR. 78 00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:02,338 THIS CUTBACK IS RIDICULOUS. 79 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,941 MAX, WE'RE DUE IN 15 MINUTES TO PLEAD OUR CASE 80 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,811 BEFORE A CLOSED SESSION OF THE SENATE SUBCOMMITTEE. 81 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,579 CHIEF, YOU REALLY THINK WE CAN CONVINCE THEM 82 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:12,748 TO GIVE CONTROL BACK ITS APPROPRIATION? 83 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:16,619 I HOPE SO, MAX. BUT UNTIL THEN, WE'LL ALL HAVE TO TIGHTEN OUR BELTS. 84 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:20,356 LISTEN, CHIEF, THIS MAY BE THE WRONG TIME, BUT I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU 85 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,259 - ABOUT THAT RAISE YOU PROMISED ME. - RAISE? 86 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:26,985 WHAT RAISE? THIS IS NO TIME TO TALK ABOUT A RAISE. 87 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,766 MAX, BE CAREFUL. THIS FELLOW DIETRICH... 88 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,902 THE COMMITTEE COUNSEL... HE'S A TOUGH EGG. 89 00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:36,206 DON'T WORRY, CHIEF. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 90 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,074 GENTLEMEN, OUR FIRST WITNESS IS 91 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:41,298 AN AGENT OF CONTROL, MAXWELL SMART. MR. SMART. 92 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,614 COME ON, MAX. 93 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,583 - MR. SMART! - WHAT IS IT? 94 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,686 WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEAT? 95 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,922 JUST CHECKING FOR HIDDEN MICROPHONES. 96 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,979 I CAN ASSURE YOU THERE ARE NONE. 97 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,097 NOW IF YOU'LL JUST SPEAK INTO THAT MICROPHONE... 98 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,432 OF COURSE. 99 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,434 GENTLEMEN, I HOPE YOU'LL FORGIVE ME 100 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,503 IF I SEEM A LITTLE OVERCAUTIOUS, 101 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,939 BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. YOU NEVER KNOW 102 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,541 WHEN A SENATE INVESTIGATING COMMITTEE MIGHT BE 103 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,377 INVESTIGATED BY A SENATE INVESTIGATING COMMITTEE. 104 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:23,219 IS THIS THING ON? 105 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,121 BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS, 106 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,422 I FEEL IT ONLY FAIR TO SAY 107 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,457 A WORD IN THE DEFENSE OF CONTROL. 108 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,327 GENTLEMEN, CONTROL NEEDS MONEY TO OPERATE. 109 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,530 IF WE AREN'T OPERATING, 110 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:37,834 THIS COUNTRY IS IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. 111 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:43,993 MR. SMART, IF YOU'RE QUITE FINISHED, WOULD YOU MIND TAKING YOUR SEAT? 112 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,565 CERTAINLY. 113 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,852 GENTLEMEN, I SUBMIT THAT CONTROL IS A SECRET POLICE FORCE, 114 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,320 ANSWERABLE ONLY TO ITSELF. 115 00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:01,457 I SUBMIT THAT IT IS EXTRAVAGANT IN ITS BUDGET, 116 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,559 INEFFECTUAL IN ITS CONDUCT, 117 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:06,329 AND WORTHLESS TO THE NATIONAL INTEREST. 118 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:09,165 - HE'S ONTO US, CHIEF. - Dietrich: MR. SMART, 119 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,735 - HOW MANY ARRESTS DID CONTROL MAKE LAST YEAR? - I DON'T KNOW. 120 00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,837 WHO'S THE NUMBER ONE MAN IN YOUR ORGANIZATION? 121 00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,505 I DON'T KNOW. 122 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,975 HOW MANY CASES WERE ASSIGNED TO CONTROL LAST YEAR? 123 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,443 I DON'T KNOW. 124 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,145 WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE FIRED, MR. SMART? 125 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,248 THEY CAN'T FIRE ME. 126 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,749 AND WHY NOT? 127 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:30,375 I KNOW TOO MUCH. 128 00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:36,759 THIS IS SIEGFRIED. GET ME A MESSENGER. 129 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:40,429 I WILL HAVE HIM TAKE A MESSAGE TO MAXWELL SMART, 130 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:43,566 AT CONTROL'S TOP-SECRET HEADQUARTERS, 131 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:46,802 123 MAIN STREET. AND HURRY. 132 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,395 THEY MAY NOT BE IN BUSINESS TOO MUCH LONGER. 133 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:02,251 WELL, CHIEF, I'M AFRAID I DIDN'T DO TOO GOOD AT THAT HEARING. 134 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,853 DON'T BLAME YOURSELF, MAX. THAT DIETRICH IS DEADLY. 135 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,997 OH, HERE. THIS LETTER IS FOR YOU. IT LOOKS IMPORTANT. 136 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,460 CHIEF, DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS LETTER IS FROM? 137 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:15,219 - WHO? - IT'S FROM SIEGFRIED, ONE OF KAOS'S TOP AGENTS. 138 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:22,438 HE WANTS ME TO MEET HIM AT ROGER'S PARK... 139 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:25,174 TO DISCUSS POSSIBLE EMPLOYMENT. 140 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,743 THEY MUST KNOW THAT CONTROL IS IN FINANCIAL TROUBLE 141 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,378 AND IS LAYING OFF AGENTS. 142 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,882 DON'T WORRY, CHIEF. I'D NEVER JOIN KAOS. 143 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,085 WAIT A MINUTE, MAX. IF YOU COULD INFILTRATE KAOS 144 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:39,122 AND UNCOVER THE KAOS MAN WHO IS HIGH IN OUR GOVERNMENT, 145 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:42,025 THAT WILL PROVE TO THE COMMITTEE HOW VALUABLE OUR WORK IS. 146 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,260 YES, I SUPPOSE IT WOULD. 147 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,928 LET ME SEE THAT LETTER A MINUTE. 148 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:49,265 SIEGFRIED SAYS HE'LL BE DISGUISED AS AN OLD WOMAN. 149 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,201 I WANT YOU TO MEET HIM DISGUISED AS AN OLD MAN. 150 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,103 WHY, CHIEF? 151 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,772 TO SHOW KAOS THAT WE'RE JUST AS CLEVER AS THEY ARE. 152 00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:59,275 WELL, OKAY, IF YOU SAY SO, CHIEF. 153 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:02,778 IT'S JUST THAT I HATE TO HAVE PEOPLE THINK THAT I'M LEAVING CONTROL. 154 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:05,181 IT LOOKS LIKE I'M DESERTING A SINKING SHIP. 155 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:08,584 WE'RE NOT SINKING, MAX. CONTROL IS STILL IN BUSINESS. 156 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,586 WE'RE VERY MUCH A GOING CONCERN. 157 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,730 I'LL CALL SENATOR PALMER AND ARRANGE ANOTHER MEETING. LARRABEE? 158 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,527 YES, SIR. 159 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:21,063 I WANT AN APPOINTMENT WITH SENATOR PALMER. CALL HIM. 160 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,699 ON WHAT? THEY TOOK MY PHONE AWAY TOO. 161 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:27,203 DON'T JUST STAND THERE. CALL HIM FROM THE CANDY STORE ON THE CORNER. 162 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:30,106 YES, SIR. 163 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,130 CHIEF... YOU GOT A DIME ON YOU? 164 00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,800 MAX. 165 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,337 SIEGFRIED, IS THAT SMART OVER THERE? 166 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,961 JA, IT MUST BE. 167 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,176 I'LL CONTACT HIM. YOU RETURN TO HEADQUARTERS, HANS. 168 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,677 - JA. - JA, WHAT? 169 00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,346 - JA, SIR. - THAT'S BETTER. 170 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:13,537 GOOD LUCK WITH THE DEFECTOR. I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT KAOS. 171 00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,693 ALL RIGHT, SIEGFRIED, WHAT'S THE DEAL? 172 00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:28,196 SMART, KAOS IS A GROWING ORGANIZATION. 173 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:32,100 UND YOU'LL BE WORKING WITH A GREAT BUNCH OF BOYS. 174 00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:33,669 I DON'T KNOW, SIEGFRIED. 175 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,806 I'VE HEARD THEY'RE NOT ALL AS ROTTEN AS THEY PRETEND TO BE. 176 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,075 NOT AS ROTTEN? ARE YOU KIDDING? 177 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:42,311 THEY'RE ALL FORMER QUIZ MASTERS, DISC JOCKEYS, 178 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,782 USED CAR SALESMEN, TV REPAIRMEN UND POLITICIANS. 179 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,818 NOW LOOK, SIEGFRIED, ALL I WANT YOU TO DO 180 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:52,476 IS TO GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD JOIN KAOS. 181 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:56,125 SMART, IN THIS WORLD 182 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,094 THERE ARE THE POOR GOOD GUYS 183 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,395 AND THE RICH BAD GUYS. 184 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,386 WHICH WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE? 185 00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:08,184 GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. YOU BEGIN TRAINING SCHOOL TOMORROW. 186 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:13,075 TRAINING SCHOOL? I DON'T NEED ANY TRAINING SCHOOL. 187 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,877 JA, SMART, YOU MUST LEARN. 188 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,446 WE DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY AT KAOS. 189 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:22,084 EITHER YOU GRADUATE OR YOU ARE SHOT. 190 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:25,954 YOU MUST HAVE SOME INTERESTING GRADUATIONS. 191 00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:27,557 YOU DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO COME 192 00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:29,858 WITH A CAP AND GOWN OR A BLINDFOLD. 193 00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:32,261 NOW THAT OUR BUSINESS IS SETTLED, 194 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,630 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HAVE A SCHNAPPS TOGETHER? 195 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:37,400 ARE YOU KIDDING, SIEGFRIED? I'M NOT TAKING YOU 196 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,436 INTO A PUBLIC BAR DRESSED LIKE THAT. 197 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,672 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THE WAY I'M DRESSED? 198 00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:45,007 THIS IS ONE OF MY BEST DISGUISES. 199 00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:48,944 WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY SILLY AND RIDICULOUS. 200 00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:52,881 I COULD GO HOME AND CHANGE INTO A MINISKIRT. 201 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,418 NEVER MIND, SIEGFRIED, I'LL TAKE YOU FOR ONE DRINK. 202 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,486 ONE DRINK AND THAT'S ALL. 203 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,121 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 204 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:03,047 ONE DRINK. NO DINNER. NO DANCING. 205 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:14,971 SIEGFRIED, ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE THIS BLINDFOLD IS NECESSARY? 206 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:18,407 I'M AFRAID SO, SMART. NO ONE BUT ME 207 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,677 KNOWS THE LOCATION OF KAOS HEADQUARTERS. 208 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:25,970 - NO ONE? - NO ONE. DRIVE, BORIS. 209 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:32,655 YOU WILL START YOUR TRAINING PROGRAM IN THIS CLASS, SMART. 210 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,680 EXCUSE ME. 211 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,368 HELLO? 212 00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:49,739 JA, SMART IS HERE NOW. 213 00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:53,208 I BELIEVE HIM TO BE A LEGITIMATE DEFECTOR. 214 00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:56,779 OF COURSE, SIR. IF HE PROVES TO BE A DOUBLE AGENT... 215 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:03,975 YES, SIR. 216 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,497 I USED TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE. 217 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:18,333 THIS IS OUR CLASS IN ADVANCED TORTURE. 218 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:21,470 IT IS HERE WE TEACH OUR MEN HOW TO WITHSTAND PAIN. 219 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:25,407 WE'VE DONE EXHAUSTIVE RESEARCH ON THE STUDY OF PAIN. 220 00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,876 DO IT AGAIN. 221 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,679 QUIET, STUPID! WE'RE NOT HERE FOR LAUGHS. 222 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,348 LUTZ. 223 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:36,251 IT ALSO HAS PRACTICAL ADVANTAGES. 224 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,921 HANS IS 6'4" TALL. 225 00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:43,125 WHEN HE FIRST JOINED KAOS, HE WAS ONLY 5'9". 226 00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,060 HANS... 227 00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:49,264 I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET MAXWELL SMART, 228 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:53,323 FORMERLY THE TOP AGENT AT CONTROL. 229 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:58,406 AMERICANS MAKE SUCH INFERIOR SPIES. 230 00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:02,277 - NO STRENGTH. - AH, YOU ARE UNFAIR, HANS. 231 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,546 SMART WAS A GIANT IN HIS FORMER SERVICE. 232 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,415 TELL US, SMART, WHAT DOES CONTROL TEACH YOU 233 00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:09,852 TO DO IF A MAN COMES AT YOU WITH A KNIFE 234 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,754 AND TRIES TO STAB YOU? 235 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,388 THAT DEPENDS ON WHETHER 236 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,423 HE'S A FRIEND OR AN ENEMY. 237 00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:19,449 LET US SHOW YOU THE KAOS WAY. 238 00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:34,844 THAT IS HOW KAOS TEACHES ITS MEN TO HANDLE AN ATTACKER. 239 00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:38,202 IF YOU DON'T MIND, SIEGFRIED, I'D LIKE TO TRY THAT AGAIN. 240 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,548 ONE MORE TIME. 241 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:04,406 OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 242 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,274 I THINK I'VE PROVED MY POINT. 243 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,444 - WHAT'S THAT? - THAT DUMMY FELL 244 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,779 FOR THE SAME TRICK THREE TIMES. 245 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,615 I FEAR THAT HANS IS A LITTLE TOO MUCH FOR YOU. 246 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,819 WHY DON'T YOU TRY HITTING HIM IN THE STOMACH? 247 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,477 GOOD IDEA. 248 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,739 HANS? FOR YOU. 249 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,095 JAWOHL. 250 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,472 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 251 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:14,509 - YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR TOMORROW'S EXAM. - OH YES, OF COURSE. 252 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:18,013 WELL, YOU SEE, SIEGFRIED. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A LOT EASIER 253 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,917 TO STUDY FOR TOMORROW'S EXAM IF I HAD A COPY OF IT TONIGHT. 254 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:25,787 EXCELLENT. ALL THE WORLD LOVES A CHEAT. 255 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:28,657 FORGET THE EXAM. YOU JUST PASSED IT. 256 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:31,893 OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT. IT CERTAINLY CALLS FOR A DRINK. 257 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,196 - DO YOU HAVE ANY BEER? - DO I?! 258 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,732 SOME FINE LAGER FROM BAVARIA. 259 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,723 YOU KNOW, ZIGGIE, YOU AND I HAVE HAD 260 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,925 - SOME GREAT TIMES TOGETHER. - JA. 261 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:05,360 DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME YOU TRIED TO SMUGGLE 262 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,563 THAT JAPANESE SCIENTIST OUT OF AMERICA? 263 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,466 - BUT WE DIDN'T LET YOU. - OH, YES. 264 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,067 WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM? 265 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,337 I STILL HAVE HIM. I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO KILL HIM. 266 00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:18,762 UND BESIDES, HE DOES SUCH A WONDERFUL JOB ON MY GARDEN. 267 00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:28,216 YOU KNOW, SMART, I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED YOU, 268 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,653 EVEN WHEN I WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU. 269 00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:35,457 DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME YOU SWALLOWED THE FORMULA 270 00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:38,493 FOR THE NEW MISSILE-CARRYING SUBMARINE? 271 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,563 OH YES, AND YOU GAVE ORDERS TO THAT KAOS DOCTOR 272 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:44,967 - TO CUT MY STOMACH OUT. - UND YOU KEPT ASKING ME 273 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:48,403 IF KAOS WAS COVERED BY BLUE CROSS. 274 00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:51,272 YES, AND THE CHIEF RESCUED ME JUST IN TIME, 275 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,675 JUST BEFORE THAT DOCTOR MADE HIS INCISION. 276 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:57,813 THE JOKE WAS ON YOU, SMART. THAT MAN WASN'T A DOCTOR. 277 00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:01,917 REALLY? BUT HE HELD THE KNIFE RIGHT OVER MY STOMACH. 278 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,642 HE WAS GUESSING. 279 00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,494 YOU KNOW, SMART, 280 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,997 AS A KAOS SUPER SPY, 281 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:19,201 I ACT WAY... 282 00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:23,004 SURE OF MYSELF, SO TOUGH, 283 00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:26,642 BUT DEEP DOWN I AM FILLED WITH DOUBTS. 284 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:30,312 ALL THE SPYING UND KILLING 285 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,681 IN THE WAR BETWEEN US... 286 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:36,151 - MM-HMM. - YOU WONDER IF IT'S ALL NECESSARY? 287 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,154 NO. I WONDER... 288 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,498 WHY WE ARE NOT WINNING. 289 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,106 - Man: Siegfried? - JA. 290 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:02,110 Maxwell Smart is not a true defector. You know what to do. 291 00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,312 LIQUIDATE HIM. 292 00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:08,238 I think for Mr. Smart the jig is up. 293 00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:20,696 OH, HELLO, HANS. WOULD YOU LIKE A LITTLE BEER? 294 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,231 IT'S FROM BAVARIA. 295 00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,633 WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON HERR SIEGFRIED'S PHONE? 296 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,735 UND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HERR SIEGFRIED? 297 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:30,105 IT WAS A WRONG NUMBER AND MR. SIEGFRIED IS ASLEEP. 298 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,942 - TOO MUCH PARTY. - I MUST AWAKEN HIM. 299 00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:35,477 USING THIS PHONE IS FORBIDDEN. 300 00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,613 THIS ACT MUST BE REPORTED. 301 00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,414 GOOD THINKING, HANS. 302 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,618 I'M NOT YOUR USUAL KAOS KILLER, YOU KNOW? 303 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,653 I THINK ABOUT THINGS. 304 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:47,689 I'LL BET YOU DO. SAY, HANS... 305 00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:49,391 I WONDER IF YOU'D MIND IF I TRIED 306 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,293 PUNCHING YOU IN THE STOMACH AGAIN. 307 00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:53,061 IF YOU LIKE. 308 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,852 BUT THIS TIME YOU WON'T CATCH ME BY SURPRISE. 309 00:20:57,956 --> 00:21:00,201 OKAY. STOMACH READY? 310 00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:03,194 ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD. 311 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:11,746 GENTLEMEN, YOU WILL BE DISTRESSED TO LEARN 312 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,949 THAT THE SUBCOMMITTEE WILL RECOMMEND THAT 313 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:16,440 THE APPROPRIATION FOR CONTROL BE DENIED. 314 00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:19,955 YOUR AGENCY'S HAD QUITE A RUN FOR ITS MONEY, 315 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,079 BUT NOW THE JIG IS UP. 316 00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:27,062 WHAT DID YOU SAY, DIETRICH? 317 00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,831 I SAID THE JIG IS UP. IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH. 318 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:31,700 INDEED IT IS, MR. DIETRICH. 319 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:35,570 AND THAT FIGURE OF SPEECH WAS ALL I NEEDED TO EXPOSE YOU 320 00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:38,306 AS A FOREIGN SPY IN THE EMPLOY OF KAOS. 321 00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:41,243 - MAX, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? - HOW ABOUT IT, DIETRICH? 322 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,578 OH, IT'S RIDICULOUS. 323 00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:47,115 SMART IS TAKING A LAST, DESPERATE GAMBLE TO MAKE THE COMMITTEE THINK 324 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,651 THAT CONTROL SERVES A USEFUL PURPOSE. 325 00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:54,222 WHY, HE WASN'T EVEN ABLE TO LEARN ANYTHING POSING AS A DEFECTOR TO KAOS. 326 00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:58,893 DIETRICH, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS A DEFECTOR TO KAOS? 327 00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:01,785 ONLY THE CHIEF AND I AND KAOS KNEW THAT. 328 00:22:03,222 --> 00:22:05,467 ANYONE OF YOU COMES NEAR ME, THE SENATOR DIES. 329 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,268 Max: IT WON'T WORK, DIETRICH. 330 00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:09,838 SENATOR HARPER IS NOT UP FOR REELECTION. 331 00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:12,707 COOL IT, MAX. WE CAN'T RISK THE SENATOR'S LIFE. 332 00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:14,910 YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CHANCE, DIETRICH. 333 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:19,547 - OH NO? - YOU WOULDN'T DARE JUMP. IT'S 14 STORIES. 334 00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:21,616 NOT ME. ALL OF YOU. 335 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,253 OH, THAT'S DIFFERENT. IN THAT CASE YOU'VE GOT A CHANCE. 336 00:22:25,277 --> 00:22:27,789 ONE SHOT FROM THAT PISTOL 337 00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:30,558 AND THE COPS WILL COME ROLLING IN HERE LIKE ORANGES. 338 00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:34,696 YOUR POINT, SMART. BUT THE GAME IS MINE. 339 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,499 - THAT DOOR IS LOCKED, DIETRICH. - WRONG, SMART. 340 00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:40,423 AH-HHH. 341 00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:46,474 WASN'T THE ELEVATOR WORKING? 342 00:22:46,498 --> 00:22:49,144 YES, BUT IT WAS ON THE GROUND FLOOR. 343 00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:52,013 GENTLEMEN, IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT MR. DIETRICH 344 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:55,917 WITH ONE JUMP HAS JUST BROKEN THE INDOOR FREE-FALL RECORD. 345 00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:59,121 MAX, WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE THAT DIETRICH WAS A KAOS AGENT? 346 00:22:59,145 --> 00:23:00,922 IT WAS AN EXPRESSION HE USED, CHIEF. 347 00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:03,825 - BUT WHY'D HE PULL A GUN? - PERHAPS HE KNEW THE JIG WAS UP. 348 00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:07,284 EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING. YOU SEE, CHIEF, WHEN I GOT THAT PHONE... 349 00:23:15,594 --> 00:23:18,796 I THINK I MAY HAVE JUST MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. 350 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:31,720 AH, SMART. NICE TO SEE YOU. 351 00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,322 SIEGFRIED, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING HERE? 352 00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:37,559 - HAVE AN ICE CREAM? - OH, THANK YOU. 353 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,327 SO, SMART, 354 00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:41,696 THIS ROUND GOES TO YOU. 355 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,767 I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU'D NEVER DEFECT TO KAOS. 356 00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:47,602 I CERTAINLY HOPE I DIDN'T MAKE YOU 357 00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:49,771 LOOK TOO BAD IN THE EYES OF YOUR SUPERIORS. 358 00:23:49,795 --> 00:23:53,174 WELL, IT WAS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING, 359 00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:54,910 SINCE I DID RECOMMEND YOU 360 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:58,680 AND SINCE YOU DID EXPOSE OUR TOP MAN IN GOVERNMENT, 361 00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:01,215 BUT KAOS IS MADE UP OF REASONABLE MEN. 362 00:24:01,239 --> 00:24:03,986 THEY BELIEVE IN FORGIVE AND FORGET. 363 00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:05,587 GOOD. SAY, THIS CERTAINLY IS 364 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,456 A WONDERFUL COVER YOU'VE GOT HERE. 365 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,958 WHAT COVER? THIS IS HOW I MAKE MY LIVING. 366 00:24:09,982 --> 00:24:12,882 RASPBERRY RIPPLE! 29163

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