All language subtitles for Get Smart S02E17 Someone Down Here Hates Me.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.HBO

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish Download
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,802 HEY, BUDDY, GOT A CIGARETTE? 2 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,303 UH, YES, I DO. THANK YOU. 3 00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:03,339 WAIT A MINUTE. COULD I BORROW ONE OF YOUR CIGARETTES? 4 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,796 OH, CERTAINLY. 5 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,653 - WHERE ARE YOU HIT? - IN THE ARM. 6 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:20,490 I BETTER PUT A TOURNIQUET ON THAT. 7 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,793 GIVE ME YOUR ARM. WAIT A MINUTE. 8 00:01:22,817 --> 00:01:24,794 Max: KAOS, EH? 9 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:29,132 - THEN THAT BULLET WAS MEANT FOR ME. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 10 00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:33,036 I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS KAOS EMBLEM ON YOUR BACK. WHERE DID YOU GET IT? 11 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:35,571 - HOW DID THAT GET THERE? - "HOW DID THAT GET THERE?" 12 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,741 ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THAT TATTOO GOT THERE? 13 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,677 YOU CAN'T EXPECT A FELLA TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING. 14 00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:46,283 ALL RIGHT, GET ON YOUR FEET. I'M TAKING YOU DOWNTOWN FOR QUESTIONING. 15 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,385 ALL RIGHT, SMART, BUT I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU. 16 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:49,886 YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIVE THROUGH THE DAY. 17 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,488 YOU GOT A PRICE ON YOUR HEAD OF A QUARTER OF MILLION DOLLARS. 18 00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:55,492 A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS? YOU'RE KIDDING. 19 00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,260 NO, I'M NOT KIDDING! 20 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,396 IS THAT AMERICAN MONEY OR KAOS SCRIP? 21 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,997 AMERICAN MONEY! 22 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,033 WITH THAT KIND OF A PRICE ON YOUR HEAD 23 00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:05,168 EVERY KILLER IN THE COUNTRY IS GONNA BE AFTER YOU. 24 00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,203 YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE! 25 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,472 OH, REALLY? WELL, I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, FELLA... 26 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,741 ANYBODY WHO TRIES TO COLLECT THAT REWARD 27 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,633 IS GONNA HAVE TO DO IT OVER MY DEAD BODY. 28 00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,845 Siegfried: YOU FOOLS! 29 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:26,149 INCOMPETENTS! BUNGLERS! 30 00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:30,286 DUMMKOPFS! SISSIES! 31 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,822 YOU CALL YOURSELVES KILLERS? 32 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,324 YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THE NAME. 33 00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,493 IN THE PAST THREE WEEKS 34 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:40,730 MAXWELL SMART HAS PERSONALLY ELIMINATED 35 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,598 NO LESS THAN 11... 36 00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:45,401 DO YOU HEAR ME, STUPIDS? 37 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,937 MAXWELL SMART HAS PERSONALLY ELIMINATED 38 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:51,340 NO LESS THAN 11 OF OUR MOST VICIOUS, 39 00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:54,911 BRUTAL, COLD-BLOODED AGENTS! 40 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:57,480 SOME OF WHOM WERE MY BEST, DEAREST, 41 00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,183 SWEETEST, KINDEST FRIENDS. 42 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:05,488 AND ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR BUMBLING STUPIDITY! 43 00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,346 BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS... 44 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:16,966 WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR PUTTING THIS PITCHER OVER HERE? 45 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:21,693 THIS IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF YOUR STUPIDITY! 46 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,776 IT BELONGS OVER HERE. 47 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,746 NOW, WE DID OUR BEST 48 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:33,015 TO TRY TO DISGUISE OUR BETTER-KNOWN AGENTS. 49 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:37,119 MAXWELL SMART RECOGNIZED THEM LIKE THIS. 50 00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,522 NOW, LISTEN TO THIS... 51 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,657 I AM STILL OFFERING 52 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:46,228 $250,000 FOR MAXWELL SMART, 53 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,764 DEAD OR ALIVE. 54 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,967 IF... CORRECTION! DEAD OR DEAD! 55 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,903 THIS REWARD MAY ACT AS AN INCENTIVE 56 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:58,441 TO OTHER ORGANIZATIONS OF EVIL TO TRY TO MAKE AN HONEST BUCK. 57 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:04,647 NOW GET THIS THROUGH YOUR THICK NITWIT SKULLS! 58 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:09,119 I WARN YOU AS OF RIGHT NOW... 59 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:12,855 IF MAXWELL SMART IS NOT KILLED 60 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,358 WITHIN 48 HOURS 61 00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:19,562 THE ANNUAL KAOS BINGO PARTY AND BARBECUE 62 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,119 IS CANCELED! 63 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,340 MAX, I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR BEING NERVOUS. 64 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:33,009 KAOS IS VERY ANXIOUS TO GET RID OF YOU. 65 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,612 QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS. AND TAX-FREE. 66 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:38,214 THAT'S AN ENORMOUS REWARD. THE BIGGEST I CAN REMEMBER. 67 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,382 I KNOW. 68 00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:41,083 I'D MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO COLLECT IT MYSELF 69 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,885 IF I COULD FIGURE OUT A WAY TO LIVE THROUGH IT. 70 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,488 MAX, THE IMPORTANT THING IS FOR YOU TO BE MORE CAREFUL 71 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,590 - THAN YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN YOUR LIFE. - YOU'RE RIGHT, CHIEF. 72 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,692 THIS WHOLE THING IS BEGINNING TO GET ON MY NERVES. 73 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,127 THE NEWS IS ALL OVER CONTROL. 74 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,429 WHY, DO YOU KNOW THAT THE BOYS IN THE LAB HAVE A POOL 75 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:56,199 TO GUESS HOW LONG I'LL BE ALIVE? 76 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,733 WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF. 77 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,636 YOU DON'T SUPPOSE THAT ANYBODY IN CONTROL 78 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,404 WOULD MAKE AN ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE, DO YOU? 79 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,206 I THINK YOU OUGHT TO GET OF TOWN FOR A WHILE. 80 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,208 - WHY? - MAX, YOU'RE VERY TENSE. 81 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,077 I THINK YOU CAN USE THE REST. 82 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,513 LOOK, CHIEF, I'M NOT GONNA RUN AWAY AND HIDE. 83 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,482 MAX, YOUR NERVES ARE SHOT. 84 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,084 YOU KNOW WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS OR WHO ARE YOUR ENEMIES. 85 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,586 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'LL BE SUSPECTING ME. 86 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,821 THAT'S NOT TRUE, CHIEF. 87 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,890 IF THERE'S ONE THING IN THIS WORLD I'M SURE OF 88 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,625 IT'S THE FACT THAT YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS. 89 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,360 WELL, I SHOULD CERTAINLY HOPE SO. 90 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,163 ALL RIGHT, NOW, JUST TAKE IT EASY. 91 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,266 ONE FALSE MOVE AND YOU'RE A DEAD MAN. 92 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,957 PULL YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR POCKET SLOWLY. 93 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,175 SORRY, CHIEF. 94 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,866 DON'T EVER PULL A HANDKERCHIEF ON A FRIEND. 95 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:49,118 MAX, I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 96 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,520 YOU REALLY ARE JUMPY. 97 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:53,122 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, 99. I'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 98 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,826 MAX! 99 00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,050 IT'S JUST A CAR BACKFIRING. 100 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,364 I KNOW THAT, 99. 101 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,433 - I WAS JUST PRACTICING. - FOR WHAT? 102 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:06,435 FOR THE CONTROL TRACK MEET. 103 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,881 99, THERE WAS SOMETHING VERY STRANGE ABOUT THAT CAR. 104 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,815 MAX, THEY TRIED TO KILL US. 105 00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:22,018 SO, THAT'S WHAT IT WAS. 106 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:25,021 - DID YOU GET THE LICENSE NUMBER? - NO, MAX. 107 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,285 I WONDER IF IT WAS A KAOS CAR OR A CONTROL CAR. 108 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,661 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, 99? 109 00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:35,231 OH, MAX, I'M HUNTING FOR MY ELECTRONIC FINDER. 110 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,200 AGENT 13 IS IN THE AREA 111 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:40,003 AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LOCATE HIM AND GET HIS REPORT. 112 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,272 OH, OKAY. 113 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,074 LISTEN, MAX. 114 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,899 13 IS SOMEPLACE NEAR. 115 00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,653 13? 13, CAN YOU HEAR ME? 116 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:03,259 MAX, I THINK HE'S IN THE VENDING MACHINE. 117 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,994 I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT, 99. 118 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,429 YOU STAY HERE AND LET ME KNOW 119 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,197 IF YOU SEE ANY SUSPICIOUS CARS COMING. 120 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,421 RIGHT, MAX. 121 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,180 - IS THAT YOU, 13? - NO, IT'S THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN. 122 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,982 OF COURSE IT'S ME. 123 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,750 ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, 13? 124 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:31,787 YOU NAME IT... PNEUMONIA, BRONCHITIS, FROSTBITE, THE FLU. 125 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:34,790 LOOK, 13, I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR YOU BUT I'M IN A HURRY. 126 00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:37,726 I DON'T KNOW, 86. I'VE GOT GET OUT OF THE SPY BUSINESS. 127 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,396 I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET AGENT, NOT A PENGUIN. 128 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,200 LOOK, 13, HAVE YOU SEEN ANY KAOS AGENTS 129 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,902 LOITERING AROUND HERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD? 130 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,471 WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER NOW? 131 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,473 YOU COULD AT LEAST SAY GESUNDHEIT. 132 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,576 - ALL RIGHT, GESUNDHEIT. - IT'S TOO LATE NOW. 133 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,345 THE REASON I ASK ABOUT THE KAOS... 134 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,647 I HAVEN'T HAD SUCH A CHILL SINCE I ASKED THE CHIEF FOR A RAISE. 135 00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:01,117 I'M ASKING YOU, 13, IF ANY KAOS... 136 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,652 GESUNDHEIT! 137 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:06,155 YEAH, NOW YOU'RE TALKING. 138 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,957 ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, 86? 139 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:11,594 KAOS HAS OFFERED A QUARTER OF MILLION DOLLARS FOR MY DEATH! 140 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,396 WOW, WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY 141 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,980 I COULD RETIRE IN FLORIDA OR ARIZONA. 142 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,261 THE LAST GESUNDHEIT HE GETS OUT OF ME. 143 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,782 - 99, LOOK AT THAT. - WHAT, MAX? 144 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,118 WELL, DON'T YOU SEE ANYTHING UNUSUAL ABOUT THE WAY THAT MAN IS WALKING? 145 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,222 NOT PARTICULARLY. 146 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,025 HE FAVORS THE BALL OF HIS RIGHT FOOT, 147 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:45,295 LIKE A MAN WHO'S BEEN RAISED IN GOAT COUNTRY 148 00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,597 AND HAS HAD TO WALK SIDEWAYS UP HILLS A LOT. 149 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,031 THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN IN THE WORLD 150 00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,633 WHO HAS A DISTINCTIVE WALK LIKE THAT. 151 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,502 - WHO, MAX? - HIS NAME IS VALDEZ 152 00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:54,671 AND HE'S ONE OF KAOS'S TOP ASSASSINS. 153 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:57,039 I'D KNOW THAT WALK ANYWHERE. 154 00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,374 YOU'LL SEE, 99. 155 00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:01,277 HE HAS AN EVIL FACE, A BIG BLACK MUSTACHE 156 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,713 AND A SCAR RUNNING ACROSS HIS RIGHT CHEEK. 157 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,516 - WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, MAX? - I'M GOING AFTER HIM, 99. 158 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,383 - YOU STAY HERE. - MAX, BE CAREFUL! 159 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,485 ALL RIGHT, VALDEZ, ON YOUR FEET! 160 00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:23,566 WOULD YOU GET OFF OF ME, MISTER? 161 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,834 I THINK YOU'VE BROKEN MY ARM. 162 00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:28,059 SORRY ABOUT THAT. 163 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,364 YOU SEE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE AN OLD FRIEND. 164 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,123 MAX, EAT YOUR SOUP. 165 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,387 IT'S HUMAN TO MAKE A MISTAKE. 166 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,565 99, ISN'T THAT WAITER NEW AROUND HERE? 167 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,766 I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM BEFORE. WHY? 168 00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:00,324 I DON'T LIKE HIS LOOKS. 169 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,705 HOW IS YOUR SOUP, 99? 170 00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:04,874 FINE. 171 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,098 HERE, TRY MINE. 172 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:14,606 - FINE. - OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS POISONED. 173 00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:26,962 ALL RIGHT, FELLA, NOW JUST WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND FOR THIS STILETTO? 174 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,031 IT'S FOR THAT GENTLEMEN'S STEAK. 175 00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:32,268 OH. SORRY ABOUT THAT. 176 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,492 THERE. 177 00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,441 LET'S SKIP LUNCH, MAX. 178 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,666 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, 99. 179 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,936 COME ON, LET'S GO. 180 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,886 - HOLD IT, 99. - WHAT IS IT, MAX? 181 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:51,976 THAT MAN OVER THERE. 182 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,357 THAT'S A MAN? 183 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,793 YES, IT'S A BRILLIANT DISGUISE, 99. 184 00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,896 BUT THAT SO-CALLED WOMAN IS ACTUALLY MELVIN FORESTER, 185 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,898 BAG MAN FOR THE KAOS SYNDICATE. 186 00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:04,967 NOTICE THE TWITCHING IN THE NECK MUSCLES. THAT'S THE GIVEAWAY. 187 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,503 MAX, DON'T YOU THINK YOU BETTER TO HAVE A LOOK AT MELVIN'S FACE 188 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,439 - BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING? - WE DON'T HAVE TIME, 99. 189 00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,107 I'VE GOTTA GET HIM BEFORE HE SEES US. 190 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,443 MAX, YOU'RE ALREADY UP ON ONE COUNT OF ASSAULT AND BATTERY. 191 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:14,599 SHH! 192 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,070 WOULD YOU BELIEVE TWO COUNTS? 193 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,556 MAX, YOU NEED A REST. 194 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,859 YOU CAN'T GO AROUND JUMPING ON INNOCENT PEOPLE. 195 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,795 - BESIDES YOU'RE IN GREATER DANGER ALL THE TIME. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 196 00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,631 WELL, THEY RAISED THE PRICE ON YOUR HEAD TO $500,000. 197 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:38,935 $500,000? THAT'S A HALF A MILLION DOLLARS. 198 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,603 THAT'S TERRIBLE, CHIEF. 199 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,572 I MEAN A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS IS REASONABLE PRICE FOR KILLING A MAN, 200 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,407 BUT A HALF A MILLION DOLLARS CATERS TO GREED. 201 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,076 KAOS MUST BE GETTING FRANTIC. 202 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,212 YOU'RE PROBABLY CLOSER TO BREAKING THIS CASE THAN YOU THINK. 203 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:50,713 I DON'T THINK SO, CHIEF. 204 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:53,750 - WELL, WHY DO YOU THINK THE PRICE WAS RAISED? - INFLATION. 205 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,318 MAX, I WANT YOU GET OUT OF TOWN FOR A WHILE. 206 00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:59,421 GO TO SOME NICE RESORT SOMEWHERE AND RELAX. 207 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,691 SWIM, PLAY SOME TENNIS, TAKE A GIRL OUT DANCING. 208 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,693 CHIEF, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 209 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,829 YOU CAN'T ASK ME TO GIVE UP MY CAREER, 210 00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:08,864 TO GIVE UP A LIFE OF ADVENTURE AND INTRIGUE, 211 00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:11,066 TO GO TO SOME COUNTRY CLUB AND BECOME A HAS-BEEN, 212 00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:13,269 LIE AROUND PLAYING GOLF AND TENNIS. 213 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,337 - AND BESIDES... - WHAT? 214 00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,295 I'VE GOT NOTHING TO WEAR. 215 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,275 MAYBE NOW I CAN GET SOME REST. 216 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,065 WHO IS IT? 217 00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:44,300 IT'S ME, MAX. 218 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,468 WHO'S ME? 219 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,203 99. 220 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,206 HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SOMEONE PRETENDING TO BE 99? 221 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,773 YOU DON'T. 222 00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:54,309 OH. WELL, WHAT DO WE DO NOW? 223 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,579 WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME THROUGH THE PEEPHOLE? 224 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:58,803 GOOD IDEA. 225 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,184 99. 226 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,352 MAX. 227 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,387 - ARE YOU ALONE? - YES. 228 00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,611 GOOD. 229 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,566 - COME IN, 99. - THANK YOU, MAX. 230 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:49,665 OKAY, 99, WHAT'S UP? 231 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,100 - I CAME TO SAY GOODBYE. - TO WHOM? 232 00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:54,670 TO YOU. THE CHIEF SAID YOU WERE GOING AWAY FOR A REST. 233 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,038 - I'LL MISS YOU, MAX. - OH, THANK YOU, 99. 234 00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:01,877 YOU'RE WELCOME. I GUESS I BETTER BE GETTING BACK TO CONTROL. 235 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,146 - UH, 99? - YES, MAX. 236 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:08,284 I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D CONSIDER LEAVING BY THE WINDOW. 237 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,508 NO, THANK YOU. 238 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,999 WELL, SO LONG, 99. 239 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:44,019 ALL RIGHT, START TALKING! WHO ARE YOU? 240 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:47,378 MAX, IT'S ME, JOE FREEBISH, AGENT 63! 241 00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:52,161 ARE YOU KIDDING? I'VE KNOWN JOE FREEBISH FOR YEARS. 242 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,631 WELL, LET ME UP AND I'LL EXPLAIN. 243 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:59,268 ALL RIGHT, GET ON YOUR FEET. 244 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,903 NOW GET YOUR HANDS UP. 245 00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:04,440 GET OVER THERE. 246 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,041 WHO ARE YOU REALLY? 247 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:09,411 I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU... I'M JOE FREEBISH, AGENT 63. 248 00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,413 SOUNDS LIKE JOE'S VOICE, MAX. 249 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,650 YES. AND IT'S JOE'S BUILD, BUT IT'S NOT JOE'S FACE. 250 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,586 WELL, DIDN'T YOU HEAR ABOUT THE TRAIN WRECK I WAS IN LAST WEEK? 251 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,856 OH, YES, YOU ALMOST GOT KILLED. 252 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,258 I WAS VERY SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT THOSE SCARS. 253 00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,260 NOW LOOK. 254 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,428 NOW GO AHEAD, 99. YOU, TOO. 255 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,364 - NOW, FEEL THESE CHEEKS. - WELL, I... 256 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,599 NO, PLEASE, BE MY GUEST. 257 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,836 HUH, HUH? NOW, PULL ON MY NOSE. 258 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,871 IT'S PERFECT, ISN'T IT, HUH? 259 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,574 - VERY NICE. - TELL THE TRUTH, 86. 260 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,376 IS THIS A GREAT FACE, OR ISN'T IT? 261 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,246 IT'S OKAY, BUT I'M STILL NOT CONVINCED YOU'RE THE REAL JOE FREEBISH. 262 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,049 I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU I AM JOE! 263 00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:50,219 MAYBE HE IS JOE, MAX. 264 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:53,656 WELL, THERE'S ONLY SURE WAY TO FIND OUT. 265 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,691 WHAT HAPPENED IN CAIRO 266 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:58,193 ON THE NIGHT OF APRIL 3RD, 1963? 267 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:01,230 ONLY THE REAL JOE FREEBISH WOULD KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT. 268 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,920 ALL RIGHT. 269 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,981 - SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED? - UH-HUH. 270 00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:23,919 I STILL GET LETTERS FROM THE TALL ONE. 271 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:27,022 - AND THEN THIS IS ALL PLASTIC SURGERY? - RIGHT. 272 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,859 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. PLASTIC SURGERY TAKES WEEKS TO HEAL. 273 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,128 NOT WHEN DR. NOODLEMAN DOES IT. 274 00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,797 ISN'T HE THE ONE WHO DOES PLASTIC SURGERY 275 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,732 FOR CONTROL AGENTS WITHOUT CHARGING ANYTHING? 276 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,434 THAT'S THE ONE. HE'S A GREAT HUMANITARIAN. 277 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:42,137 TELL ME, JOE, WHERE IS THIS DOCTOR LOCATED? 278 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,340 HIS OFFICE IS IN TOWN IN THE CONWAY BUILDING. WHY? 279 00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:48,276 I'VE GOTTA CLEAR SOMETHING UP. 280 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,579 AND MAYBE I CAN BRING AN END TO THIS BUSINESS 281 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,748 OF GOING AROUND JUMPING ON PEOPLE. 282 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,449 WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MAX? 283 00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:57,942 TO ASK DR. NOODLEMAN A FEW QUESTIONS. 284 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,762 IT MUST BE VERY GRATIFYING, DR. NOODLEMAN, 285 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,765 TO GIVE PEOPLE NEW HOPE, NEW LIFE. 286 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,533 HE WHO IS BLESSED WITH A GIFT 287 00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,836 AND DOES NOT SHARE IT LIVES IN DARKNESS. 288 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,603 I MUST REMEMBER THAT. 289 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:20,142 I'M GETTING A LITTLE TIRED OF "A COWARD DIES A THOUSAND DEATHS." 290 00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:23,645 SAY, THAT ONE IS FANTASTIC, DOCTOR. 291 00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:25,714 WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE BEFORE THE OPERATION? 292 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,716 Noodleman: HE HAD A LITTLE BUTTON NOSE. 293 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,251 BUT... 294 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,386 I HATE LITTLE BUTTON NOSES. 295 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:35,124 DOCTOR, I CAME HERE TO ASK YOU FOR SOME INFORMATION. 296 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,460 IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO SERVE CONTROL. 297 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:40,429 DOCTOR, I HAVE A THEORY 298 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,698 THAT WHILE FACIAL CHARACTERISTICS CAN BE ALTERED, 299 00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:46,101 FLARES AND TWITCHES ARE A DIFFERENT MATTER. IS THIS TRUE? 300 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,036 VERY TRUE, MR. SMART. 301 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:52,040 YOU SEE, DOCTOR, I'VE ARRESTED CERTAIN CRIMINALS LATELY. 302 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,443 CRIMINALS THAT I THOUGHT I RECOGNIZED. 303 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,912 THEN LATER YOU DISCOVERED YOU WERE MISTAKEN. 304 00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,515 YES, UNLESS... 305 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:02,951 UNLESS, THOSE CERTAIN CRIMINALS HAVE HAD CERTAIN PLASTIC SURGERY PERFORMED, HMM? 306 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,386 EXACTLY! 307 00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:08,624 NOW, DOCTOR, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN PERFORM PLASTIC SURGERY 308 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,259 - THAT HEALS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. - THAT IS CORRECT. 309 00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:13,329 YOU SEE, DOCTOR, I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE 310 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,998 THAT KAOS HAS SOMEHOW GOTTEN AHOLD OF THIS TECHNIQUE. 311 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,599 THAT'S WHY I CAME TO YOU. 312 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:20,502 I WAS HOPING PERHAPS YOU COULD GIVE ME A LIST OF CROOKED DOCTORS. 313 00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:23,338 DID YOU LOOK IN THE YELLOW PAGES? 314 00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,996 UH, NO, I THOUGHT PERHAPS YOU COULD NARROW IT DOWN FASTER. 315 00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:37,619 - WHAT'S THE MATTER, DOCTOR? - POSSIBLY NOTHING. 316 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:41,043 WOULD YOU MIND STEPPING INTO MY EXAMINING ROOM FOR A MOMENT? 317 00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:53,257 SIT RIGHT DOWN, MR. SMART. 318 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:07,249 WELL, WHAT IS IT, DOCTOR? 319 00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:08,850 PROBABLY NOTHING. 320 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:12,787 BUT AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE, WE MIGHT AS WELL TAKE A LOOK. 321 00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:15,479 MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 322 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,576 MAXWELL SMART IS IN MY OFFICE. 323 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,779 IS THERE STILL A $500,000 REWARD FOR HIS DEATH? 324 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,281 GOOD. 325 00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:40,482 NO NO, DON'T SEND ANYBODY. 326 00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,706 I'LL KILL HIM MYSELF. 327 00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:54,863 NOW, MR. SMART... 328 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,553 LET'S HAVE A LOOK. 329 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,635 WHAT IS IT, DOCTOR? 330 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,337 THIS LITTLE SCAR ON YOUR CHEEK, 331 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,039 HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THAT? 332 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,808 SINCE I CUT MYSELF SHAVING THIS MORNING. 333 00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,510 WELL, AS LONG AS WE GOT YOU HERE 334 00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:11,201 MAY AS WELL PATCH IT UP. 335 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,657 - HOW DOES IT FEEL? - IT'S A LITTLE TIGHT, DOCTOR. 336 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,881 GOOD. 337 00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:31,866 UH, I KNOW THIS IS A SILLY QUESTION, DOCTOR, 338 00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,736 BUT WHY AM I BEING STRAPPED IN? 339 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,439 WELL, SO YOU WON'T MOVE. 340 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,409 WE WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO MOVE AND, UH... 341 00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:44,033 RISK SPOILING YOUR PLASTIC FEATURES NOW, WOULD WE? 342 00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:49,017 DOCTOR, WHEN I LEARNED WHAT YOU HAD DONE FOR JOE FREEBISH 343 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,052 SOMETHING IN MY BRAIN SNAPPED. 344 00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,721 WHAT WAS THAT, MR. SMART? 345 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,823 WELL, I REALIZED THAT SOME OTHER DOCTOR 346 00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:57,926 WAS PERFORMING THE SAME OPERATION FOR THE KAOS SYNDICATE. 347 00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,461 IMPOSSIBLE. 348 00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,764 I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THE TECHNIQUE. 349 00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:04,332 DOCTOR, I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION 350 00:22:04,356 --> 00:22:08,236 AND I WANT YOU TO TELL ME THE TRUTH. 351 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:09,772 ARE YOU GOING TO KILL ME? 352 00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:11,640 YES. 353 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,576 WOULDN'T YOU LIKE A LITTLE MORE TIME TO THINK OVER YOUR ANSWER? 354 00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:20,381 THIS WILL ONLY PUT YOU TO SLEEP, MR. SMART. 355 00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:22,517 YOU WON'T FEEL A THING. 356 00:22:22,541 --> 00:22:24,753 AND WHEN I WAKE UP I'LL BE DEAD. 357 00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,343 EXACTLY. 358 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,127 DON'T MOVE, NOODLEMAN, OR YOU'RE A DEAD DOCTOR. 359 00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:34,096 MY HAND... YOU RUINED IT! 360 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:37,398 - I'LL NEVER OPERATE AGAIN. - ALL RIGHT, LARRABEE, GET HIM OUT OF HERE. 361 00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,735 FREEBISH AND 99 TELEPHONED ME AFTER YOU LEFT YOUR APARTMENT 362 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,502 AND TOLD ME WHERE YOU WERE GOING. 363 00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:44,305 SO I DECIDED TO COME OVER HERE JUST IN CASE YOU GOT INTO ANY TROUBLE. 364 00:22:44,329 --> 00:22:46,307 NOTHING I COULDN'T HANDLE, CHIEF. 365 00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:48,944 GOOD WORK, MAX. I'M GLAD THIS CASE IS CLOSED. 366 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,746 WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS CASE IS CLOSED? 367 00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,680 - THIS CASE ISN'T CLOSED. - WHY NOT? 368 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:56,118 BECAUSE IT'S SHOCKING, ABSOLUTELY SHOCKING THAT A QUACK LIKE THAT 369 00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:58,220 COULD BE A CONTROL DOCTOR FOR 10 YEARS! 370 00:22:58,244 --> 00:23:01,723 I WANT A COMPLETE AND THOROUGH INVESTIGATION OF THIS ENTIRE MATTER. 371 00:23:01,747 --> 00:23:04,292 WHO'S IN CHARGE OF OUR MEDICAL SECURITY DIVISION? 372 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,427 - MAX, THE CASE IS CLOSED! - WHO IS IT, CHIEF? 373 00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:06,809 YOU! 374 00:23:06,833 --> 00:23:09,887 THAT'S WHAT I SAID, CHIEF. THE CASE IS CLOSED. 375 00:23:22,334 --> 00:23:26,648 99, THESE FILES OF DR. NOODLEMAN ARE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC. 376 00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:29,985 HE MUST HAVE CHANGED THE FACES OF OVER 100 KAOS AGENTS, MAX. 377 00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:32,487 YES, BUT AT LEAST WE HAVE PICTURES OF WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE NOW. 378 00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:35,857 WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO ROUND MOST OF THEM UP. 379 00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:38,460 GOOD NEWS, MAX. WE'VE RECEIVED ADDITIONAL INFORMATION 380 00:23:38,484 --> 00:23:40,862 ON THE $500,000 REWARD OFFERED FOR YOUR DEATH. 381 00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:44,700 - WHAT ABOUT IT, CHIEF? - IT RUNS OUT AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. 382 00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:47,368 YOU MEAN IN FOUR HOURS I'LL STOP BEING A MARKED MAN? 383 00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:49,370 ABSOLUTELY. YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ANY LONGER 384 00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:51,740 ABOUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE OR WHO YOUR ENEMIES ARE. 385 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,742 OH, COME ON NOW, CHIEF, I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT... 386 00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,543 THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MAX. I UNDERSTAND. 387 00:23:55,567 --> 00:23:57,913 BELIEVE ME, IN YOUR PLACE I WOULD HAVE FELT EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. 388 00:23:57,937 --> 00:23:59,314 I WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN WHO TO TRUST. 389 00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:01,817 IN THAT CASE, I WONDER IF YOU AND 99 390 00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:04,385 WOULD MIND DOING ME A FAVOR UNTIL THE DEADLINE RUNS OUT. 391 00:24:04,409 --> 00:24:06,121 - CERTAINLY, MAX. - WHAT IS IT? 392 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:08,478 STICK 'EM UP! 393 00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:15,697 I MEAN, THERE'S NO USE TAKING ANY CHANCES NOW, IS THERE? 394 00:24:15,721 --> 00:24:16,820 HEY, UP, UP! 30120

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.