All language subtitles for Get Smart S02E09 Rub-A-Dub-Dub. Three Spies in a Sub.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.HBO

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,894 QUIET, 99. 2 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,963 ONE FALSE MOVE AND WE'RE DEAD AGENTS. 3 00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,764 WE'RE A LITTLE BEHIND SCHEDULE, MAX. 4 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:25,101 THE KAOS PATROL IS DUE IN EXACTLY ONE MINUTE AND 45 SECONDS. 5 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,138 RIGHT. YOU CHECK THE EXPLOSIVES. I'LL OPEN THE SEALED ORDERS. 6 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,322 RIGHT. 7 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:33,109 99, I CAN'T BREAK THE SEAL. 8 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:36,313 TEAR OPEN THE SIDE OF THE ENVELOPE, MAX. THERE'S NO WAX THERE. 9 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,415 ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU CAN'T DO THAT, 99. 10 00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:41,485 THAT'S WHY THEY PUT WAX ON THE SEAL. SO THAT YOU'LL BREAK IT OPEN. 11 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,853 MAX, HURRY, WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. 12 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,957 YOU KNOW SOMETHING, 99? IF WE EVER GET BACK FROM THIS MISSION ALIVE, 13 00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:49,325 I'M GOING TO PUT THAT IN THE CONTROL SUGGESTION BOX. 14 00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,294 - IT'S A GREAT IDEA. - WHAT IDEA? 15 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,897 ABOUT PUTTING WAX ALL AROUND THE ENDS OF THE ENVELOPE. 16 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:57,133 THAT WAY YOU CAN TEAR IT OPEN ANYWHERE AND STILL BREAK THE SEAL. 17 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,469 - GIVE ME YOUR NAIL FILE, 99. - OH, RIGHT, MAX. 18 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,493 HERE. 19 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,472 I KNOW IT'S IN HERE SOMEWHERE. 20 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,386 HURRY, MAX. ONLY 40 SECONDS LEFT. 21 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,056 99, I'VE LOST THE NAIL FILE. 22 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,813 OH NO. 23 00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,030 - AH, THAT DID IT. - YOU GOT IT OPEN. 24 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,598 NO, I BROKE MY FINGERNAIL. 25 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,433 NOW I'LL HAVE TO FIND THE NAIL FILE. 26 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:33,202 WE CAN'T, MAX. THERE'S NOT TIME... ONLY 20 SECONDS LEFT. 27 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,405 HOW MANY PACKETS OF EXPLOSIVES DO WE HAVE? 28 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,907 - UH, TWO. - GOOD. 29 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,076 I'LL USE ONE OF THEM TO BLOW OPEN THE ENVELOPE. 30 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,580 WHAT IS IT? 31 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:47,083 SOUNDS LIKE A YELLOW-BELLIED SAPSUCKER. 32 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,918 ON THE OTHER HAND IT COULD BE 33 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,042 A GIANT TOOTHLESS COCKATOO. 34 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,819 MAX! 35 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,297 ALL RIGHT, GET UP. 36 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,898 THAT WILL BE ALL, LARRABEE. 37 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,800 MAX, THIS WAS ONLY A TRAINING EXERCISE. 38 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:13,303 TOMORROW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO ON THE REAL MISSION. 39 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,972 - I'M READY, CHIEF. - YOU'RE READY? YOU JUST GOT KILLED! 40 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:19,498 I SAID I WAS READY. I DIDN'T SAY I WAS PERFECT. 41 00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:24,747 DON'T WORRY ABOUT OPENING THOSE SEALED ORDERS, MAX. 42 00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,282 IT WAS JUST A TRAINING SESSION. 43 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,784 THE MISSION WILL GO AHEAD TONIGHT AS SCHEDULED, SIR. 44 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:29,852 RIGHT. 45 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,489 THANK YOU FOR WISHING US LUCK, SIR. 46 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:33,793 WE'LL NEED IT. 47 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,726 MAX, NEVER MIND ABOUT THE ENVELOPE. 48 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,661 I'LL FILL YOU IN PERSONALLY. 49 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,964 TONIGHT'S MISSION DEPENDS ON A SPLIT-SECOND TIMETABLE. 50 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,866 IT CERTAINLY IS TOP SECRET, CHIEF. 51 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,835 WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE OBJECTIVE IS. 52 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,570 WE WANTED TO AVOID SECURITY LEAKS. 53 00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:51,041 A NUMBER OF COMMERCIAL CARGO SHIPS HAVE BEEN HIJACKED 54 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,009 - OVER THE PAST SIX MONTHS. - KAOS? 55 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:57,414 YES. THEY'VE BEEN COMMITTING PIRACY ON THE HIGH SEAS USING SUBMARINES. 56 00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:00,716 WE'VE DISCOVERED THEIR BASE ON AN ISLAND NOT FAR FROM OUR COASTLINE. 57 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:04,054 THE KEY TO THE ENTIRE PIRACY OPERATION 58 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,756 IS A MASTER COMPUTER LOCATED HERE. 59 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:10,125 IT EVALUATES SHIPPING DATA, CARGOES, TIDES, CURRENTS, 60 00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,962 AND FIXES THE POINT OF INTERCEPTION BY THE KAOS SUBMARINE. 61 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,798 - THEN THE COMPUTER IS OUR OBJECTIVE. - CORRECT. 62 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:18,000 OUR SUBMARINE WILL TAKE YOU TO THE ISLAND. 63 00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:19,936 YOU'LL HAVE TO SLIP PAST THE KAOS GUARDS, 64 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,038 WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH A NETWORK OF LAND MINES 65 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,973 THERE, 66 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,942 GET TO THE COMPUTER AND DESTROY IT. 67 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,309 I LIKE THAT PLAN, CHIEF. 68 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:30,212 IT'S INVENTIVE, IMAGINATIVE AND BRILLIANTLY THOUGHT OUT. 69 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,314 MAX, IT SOUNDS LIKE A SUICIDE MISSION TO ME. 70 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:35,585 WELL, OF COURSE IT'S A SUICIDE MISSION, 99. SO WHAT? 71 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,676 OUR NEXT MISSION WILL BE EASIER. 72 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:44,460 AFTER THE MISSION YOU'LL HAVE TO SIGNAL OUR SUB WHERE AND WHEN TO PICK YOU UP. 73 00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:47,463 THERE ARE POWERFUL BLINKER LIGHTS BUILT INTO THOSE EARRINGS. 74 00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,732 VERY CLEVER, PROFESSOR CARLSON. 75 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:52,602 THEN IF WE GET CAUGHT 76 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,592 NO ONE WILL SUSPECT A THING. 77 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,374 MAYBE I SHOULD WEAR THE EARRINGS, MAX. 78 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,877 OH? OH, RIGHT, 99. 79 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,246 THEY'LL PROBABLY LOOK BETTER ON YOU ANYWAY. 80 00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:06,116 PROFESSOR CARLSON HAS ANOTHER SIGNALING DEVICE FOR YOU. 81 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:09,485 NOW THIS LOOKS LIKE AN ORDINARY FOUNTAIN PEN. 82 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:13,522 I SEE. AND YOU JUST PRESS THIS LEVER TO ACTIVATE IT. 83 00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:16,159 - MAX! - WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, 84 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,861 WRITE THE SIGNAL MESSAGE ON MY SHIRT? 85 00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:21,630 NO, YOU PRESS THIS BUTTON 86 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:24,167 AND THE PEN BECOMES A BLINKER LIGHT. 87 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:27,470 99, YOU STAY HERE WITH PROFESSOR CARLSON AND DRAW THE SPECIAL EQUIPMENT. 88 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,195 MAX, YOU COME WITH ME FOR THE RENDEZVOUS BRIEFING. 89 00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:34,778 HELLO, GENTLEMEN. I'M SORRY WE'RE LATE. 90 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,345 THIS IS MAXWELL SMART, AGENT 86. 91 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,915 MAX, THIS IS ADMIRAL NELSON OF THE SUBMARINE COMMAND, 92 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,817 ADMIRAL JONES FROM DESTROYER COMMAND. 93 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,285 - SMART. - GENTLEMEN. 94 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,453 - SHALL WE GET RIGHT TO THE BRIEFING? - RIGHT. 95 00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:47,824 SMART, YOU'LL BE PROCEEDING FROM THE MAINLAND AT PRECISELY 2100 HOURS. 96 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,260 THE SUBMARINE WILL PROCEED SOUTHEAST TO THIS POINT... 97 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:53,329 35° LATITUDE, 68° LONGITUDE. 98 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:57,167 36° LATITUDE, 67° LONGITUDE. 99 00:05:57,191 --> 00:06:00,804 35° LATITUDE, 68° LONGITUDE. 100 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,406 YOU WILL RENDEZVOUS THERE WITH ONE OF HIS DESTROYERS. 101 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,808 TWO DESTROYERS. 102 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,542 TWO? I THOUGHT WE AGREED ON ONE. 103 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,377 I FELT TWO WOULD BE SAFER. 104 00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:10,813 ALL RIGHT. I'LL JUST MATCH THAT WITH ANOTHER SUB. 105 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:14,205 THAT CALLS FOR FOUR MORE DESTROYERS, JOHN. 106 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,687 YOU'RE STARTING AGAIN, HORATIO. 107 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,757 I'LL JUST CALL THOSE FOUR DESTROYERS 108 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:24,615 AND RAISE YOU FOUR SUBMARINES. 109 00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,964 YOU'RE BLUFFING. 110 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:31,233 HORATIO, IF YOU HAVE ANY GUTS WE'LL MAKE THIS A REAL RENDEZVOUS. 111 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:32,977 - NO LIMIT. - YOU'RE ON! 112 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:41,243 WELL, CHIEF, THIS LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE A LONG SESSION. 113 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:44,647 I THINK WE'D BETTER SEND OUT FOR SOME SANDWICHES AND COFFEE 114 00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,671 AND MORE SHIPS. 115 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,327 - WELCOME ABOARD, AGENT SMART. - WHY THANK YOU, SKIPPER. 116 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,096 WE'LL BE SHOVING OFF IN A FEW MINUTES. 117 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:08,237 BELAY THAT! SORRY, THE MEN AREN'T ACCUSTOMED TO HAVING A PRETTY FACE ONBOARD. 118 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,674 IF THEY LIKE ME, WAIT TILL THEY GET A LOAD OF 99. 119 00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,331 THIS WAY, MR. SMART. 120 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:26,021 MY APOLOGIES FOR YOUR QUARTERS, SMART, BUT WE'RE SHORT ON SPACE. 121 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:29,592 AGENT 99 WILL BE USING MY QUARTERS AND I'LL BUNK WITH THE EXECUTIVE OFFICER. 122 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,926 RIGHT, SKIPPER. 123 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,862 WANT TO CHECK OUT THE SPECIAL EQUIPMENT, MAX? 124 00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:35,864 NO, I THINK I'LL JUST REST FOR A WHILE, 99. 125 00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:37,967 YOU GO AHEAD AND DO THE BRIEFING. 126 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:41,137 WE HAVE TWO Z-139 LAND MINE DETECTORS... 127 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,206 TWO Z-139s. 128 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:47,176 AND WE HAVE FIVE PACKETS OF E-18 PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES AND FUSES. 129 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,911 FIVE PACKETS, GOTCHA. 130 00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:51,902 AND ONE TX-7 LONG-RANGE EXPLOSIVE LAUNCHER. 131 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:58,976 LISTEN, 99, WHY DON'T YOU REST FOR A WHILE AND I'LL DO THE BRIEFING? 132 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:05,794 THIS IS THE SPOT, MR. SMART. 133 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,619 WE'RE READY TO PUT YOU ASHORE NOW. 134 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:14,337 MAX, THIS LOOKS LIKE A TOUGH ONE. 135 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,606 CHANCES ARE WE'RE NOT GOING TO COME BACK ALIVE. 136 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:20,443 IN CASE WE DON'T, ISN'T THERE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO SAY? 137 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,579 YES, 99. AS LONG AS I HAVE TO GO ON A SUICIDE MISSION, 138 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,470 I'M GLAD IT'S WITH YOU. 139 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:45,067 RIGHT ON THE NOSE, 99. NOW WE'VE GOT TWO MINUTES TO GET PAST THE GUARDS, 140 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,603 FOUR MINUTES TO WORK OUR WAY THROUGH THE LAND MINES, 141 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,405 FIND THE KAOS COMPUTER AND BLOW IT UP. 142 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:59,070 THIS MAY PUT US A LITTLE BEHIND SCHEDULE. 143 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,997 WE'RE SUNK, MAX. WE'LL NEVER COMPLETE THE MISSION NOW. 144 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,765 MAYBE NOT, 99. I'VE GOT A PLAN. 145 00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:19,168 GET READY TO HIT THE DIRT WHEN I SAY NOW. 146 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:22,371 OH, PARDON ME, BUT ISN'T YOUR HAND GRENADE LOOSE? 147 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,115 NO IT ISN'T. IT'S PERFECTLY TIGHT. 148 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,681 THEY MUST HAVE HEARD THE EXPLOSION, MAX. 149 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,182 YES. IN A FEW MINUTES 150 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,852 THERE'LL BE KAOS AGENTS SWARMING ALL OVER THIS PLACE. 151 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,036 COME ON, 99, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 152 00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:43,926 QUICK, MAX, ONLY THREE MINUTES TO FIND THE COMPUTER AND BLOW IT UP! 153 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,117 HERE, TAKE THIS, 99. I'LL GET THE GUN. 154 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:52,101 HOLD IT, 99! WE CAN'T GO THROUGH THOSE BUSHES. 155 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:55,705 IT'S A MINEFIELD. WHY, ANY ONE OF THESE BERRIES COULD BLOW US TO SMITHEREENS. 156 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,406 EVEN THAT LOG, MAX? 157 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,441 NOT THE LOG, 99, 158 00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:03,712 BUT OUR FINE FEATHERED FRIEND THE BIRD BOMB! 159 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,214 CAN YOU DEACTIVATE IT? 160 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:08,117 YES. 161 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:11,187 ALL I HAVE TO DO... 162 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,456 IS PLUCK IT! 163 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,458 QUICK, MAX. WE'RE BEHIND SCHEDULE. 164 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,561 WE'LL HAVE TO SET UP HERE AND SEE IF WE CAN FIND THE COMPUTER BY MAP. 165 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,145 - PUT HER DOWN THERE, 99. - RIGHT. 166 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:35,677 NOW LET'S SEE... 78° LONGITUDE WEST, 167 00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:38,347 35° LATITUDE EAST. 168 00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,916 99, THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK. 169 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:43,485 - WHY NOT, MAX? - THIS IS A MAP OF SAN FRANCISCO. 170 00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,955 MAX, YOU CAN SEE THE COMPUTER RIGHT THROUGH THERE. 171 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,892 RIGHT, PERFECT. IT'S ABOUT A 300-YARDS RANGE. 172 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,493 - LOAD HER UP, 99. - RIGHT, MAX! 173 00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:52,962 OKAY, MAX, 174 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,631 FIRE! 175 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,857 DIRECT HIT, MAX, RIGHT ON THE COMPUTER BUILDING! QUICK, LIGHT THE FUSE. 176 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,760 HURRY, MAX, HURRY. 177 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,875 YOU GOT ANOTHER MATCH, 99? 178 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,766 - WHY? - I LIT MY SHOELACE. 179 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:12,503 GOOD. SIGNAL THE SUB. 180 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,241 THERE'S A SUBMARINE SURFACING, MAX. 181 00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:20,489 AND THERE GOES THE COMPUTER. 182 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,673 COME ON, 99, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 183 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,590 EVERYTHING WENT PERFECTLY, FROM A TO Z. 184 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,539 WOULD YOU BELIEVE A TO B? 185 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:40,075 WELCOME ABOARD. WEAPONS, PLEASE. HANDS UP! 186 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,577 SIEGFRIED! 187 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,979 99, I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE ON THE WRONG SUBMARINE. 188 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:47,349 WE MEET AGAIN, MAXWELL SMART. 189 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:54,390 - THERE GOES MY SHOE PHONE AGAIN. - I COUNTED ON THAT. 190 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,459 TAKE HER DOWN TO PERISCOPE DEPTH. 191 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,628 - HOW DID YOU PICK US UP? - SIMPLE. 192 00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:01,063 I READ YOUR BLINKER SIGNAL. 193 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:04,167 SIEGFRIED, DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S NOT NICE TO READ 194 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,135 SOMEBODY ELSE'S BLINKER SIGNAL? 195 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,705 AS YOU GO THROUGH THE WORLD OF ESPIONAGE, SMART, 196 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:13,709 YOU WILL FIND THERE ARE THE GOOD GUYS AND THE BAD GUYS. 197 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,878 I HAPPEN TO BE ONE OF THE BAD GUYS. 198 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,980 THERE'S A U.S. DESTROYER OUT THERE THAT CAN 199 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,115 BLOW THIS SUBMARINE RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER. 200 00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:22,084 NO, IT WILL NOT, MISS 99. 201 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:23,919 WE WILL PASS THROUGH UNHARMED. 202 00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:25,521 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO? 203 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,692 BECAUSE I HAVE INFORMED YOUR CHIEF THAT YOU ARE IN THE HANDS OF KAOS. 204 00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,461 HE WOULD SURELY NOT GIVE THE ORDER TO SINK THIS SUBMARINE 205 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,297 OR YOU WOULD ALSO BE KILLED. 206 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:37,032 MMM! HE IS TOO LOYAL. 207 00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,601 DON'T BE TOO SURE ABOUT THAT, SIEGFRIED. 208 00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:42,871 OUR CHIEF CAN BE JUST AS DISLOYAL AS ANYONE ELSE. 209 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,641 I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT... UND... 210 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:49,945 BEFORE WE SLIP OUT OF HERE I AM GOING TO TAKE MY REVENGE 211 00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:53,782 - ON CONTROL FOR BLOWING UP OUR COMPUTER. - Max: HOW? 212 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:58,387 BY TORPEDOING THAT UNSUSPECTING DESTROYER UP THERE. 213 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,323 IT'S A SITTING DUCK. 214 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,926 - YOU COULDN'T DO THAT! - OH, YES HE COULD, 99. 215 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,861 AS YOU GO THROUGH THE WORLD OF ESPIONAGE 216 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:09,431 YOU'LL LEARN THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY LIKEABLE AND EASY TO GET ALONG WITH. 217 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,367 AND THEN THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE... 218 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,869 - HOW DOES THAT GO, SIEGFRIED? - I'M ONE OF THE BAD GUYS! 219 00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:15,437 HE'S ONE OF THE BAD GUYS. 220 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,528 UP PERISCOPE! 221 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,918 AHA... 222 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,921 THE DESTROYER'S MOVING OUT OF RANGE 223 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,790 BUT I CAN STILL GET IT. 224 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,027 MAX, WE'VE GOTTA DO SOMETHING. 225 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:42,631 SAY, SIEGFRIED, THIS SURE IS A NICE LITTLE SUBMARINE YOU GOT HERE. 226 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,533 PREPARE TORPEDO! 227 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:47,270 WOULD YOU MIND IF I TOOK A LITTLE PEEK? 228 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,127 WE DON'T PEEK HERE! 229 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,641 COME ON, SIEGFRIED, IF THIS WERE MY SUBMARINE 230 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,877 AND YOU WERE MY PRISONER I'D LET YOU TAKE A PEEK. 231 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,413 YEAH, AND WHILE YOU ARE PEEKING 232 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,715 MY VALUABLE TIME IS WASTING. 233 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,750 AND BY THE TIME YOU GET FINISHED PEEKING 234 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,053 AND BY THE TIME I GET BACK TO THE PERISCOPE 235 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,389 THE DESTROYER IS OUT OF RANGE. 236 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,490 THAT TRICK IS STUPID! 237 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,293 THAT TRICK IS DUMB! 238 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,916 THAT TRICK IS CHILDISH! 239 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:16,299 UND... 240 00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:18,889 THE DESTROYER IS OUT OF RANGE. 241 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,910 TIME IS GROWING SHORT. 242 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,512 YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND, CHIEF. 243 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:34,382 IF WE LET THAT KAOS SUBMARINE GET AWAY WE MAY NEVER GET ANOTHER CRACK AT IT. 244 00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:37,452 IF WE SINK IT I LOSE TWO TOP AGENTS 245 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:40,255 AND MY TWO BEST FRIENDS. 246 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:41,979 IT'S A DIFFICULT DECISION. 247 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,994 WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, CHIEF? 248 00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,795 GENTLEMEN, I'VE MADE UP MY MIND. 249 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,030 Both: YES? 250 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,666 I'VE DECIDED TO LEAVE THE DECISION TO YOU. 251 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,434 VERY WELL, CHIEF. 252 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:55,738 - I SAY SINK THE SUB. - I SAY WE DON'T. 253 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:59,642 THAT MAKES A TIE. YOU'LL HAVE TO CAST THE DECIDING VOTE, CHIEF. 254 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,811 I CANNOT LET FRIENDSHIP AFFECT MY JUDGMENT. 255 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,413 SINK THE SUB. 256 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,603 UP PERISCOPE! 257 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,991 NOTHING... NOTHING... 258 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,460 NOTHING... 259 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:22,464 NOTHING... SIX DESTROYERS... 260 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:25,134 NOTHING... 261 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,070 SIX DESTROYERS HEADED RIGHT FOR OUR POSITION?! 262 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,072 YOU'D BETTER SURRENDER, SIEGFRIED. 263 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,107 - NEVER! - YOU MIND IF WE DO? 264 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:34,943 FORGET IT, SMART. WE ARE GOING TO HIDE ON THE BOTTOM. 265 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,301 ALL ENGINES READY! 266 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,517 PREPARE TO DIVE! 267 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,507 DOWN PERISCOPE! 268 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,656 DIVE! 269 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,577 - KRUEGER. - JA? 270 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,246 WHAT IS OUR POSITION? 271 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,015 WE ARE ON THE BOTTOM. 272 00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:14,149 TERRIFIC. 273 00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,552 - LISTEN, SIEGFRIED... - QUIET! 274 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,820 I WISH TO SEE IF THEY KNOW OUR POSITION. 275 00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:21,223 I WANT COMPLETE SILENCE! 276 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:22,424 SHH! 277 00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:25,349 YOU DON'T "SHUSH" HERE! I "SHUSH" HERE! 278 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,985 SHUSH! 279 00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:39,930 THOSE DESTROYERS HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE WE ARE. 280 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,948 SOMEONE JUST TOOK A GREAT GUESS. 281 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,449 THAT WAS CLOSE. 282 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,985 WE MAY HAVE TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT. 283 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,754 WHAT'S THE MATTER, SIEGFRIED, AFRAID TO DIE? 284 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:55,524 MAX! WE'RE GONNA DIE TOO. 285 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,427 OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE I HAVE A SUGGESTION. 286 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,496 - Siegfried: WHAT? - LET'S MAKE A RUN FOR IT. 287 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,119 NO, I THINK NOT. 288 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:11,774 LOOK, SIEGFRIED. YOUR MEN LOOK LIKE THEY'RE ABOUT TO PANIC. 289 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,476 NEVER! MY MEN ARE CAREFULLY TRAINED. 290 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:18,435 THEY WILL NOT PANIC UNTIL I GIVE THE ORDER TO PANIC. 291 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,807 PREPARE TO PANIC! 292 00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:29,658 THOSE DEPTH CHARGES ARE GETTING CLOSER, SIEGFRIED. 293 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,827 IT'S JUST A MATTER OF MINUTES UNTIL THEY HIT US. 294 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:34,463 MY MEN HAVE BEEN UNDER ATTACK BEFORE. 295 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:39,301 WE WILL REMAIN IN THIS AREA FOR ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES, 296 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,092 THEN I WILL EXECUTE A COUNTER-MANEUVER. 297 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,445 LISTEN TO ME, MEN. SIEGFRIED DOESN'T CARE 298 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,680 IF YOU STAY DOWN HERE AND DROWN LIKE RATS. 299 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,815 YOUR ONLY CHANCE IS TO FOLLOW ME AND MUTINY. 300 00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,718 MUTINY? DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. THEY WILL NOT MUTINY. 301 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,175 COVER THEM! 302 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,566 MEN, THINK OF YOUR WIVES AND CHILDREN. 303 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,584 DUMMKOPFS. NONE OF YOU ARE MARRIED. 304 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,233 LISTEN, ARE YOU GONNA GAMBLE AND TAKE THE ONE SMALL CHANCE 305 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,834 YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE, 306 00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:14,236 OR ARE YOU GOING TO SURRENDER 307 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,927 AND BE GUARANTEED LIFE IMPRISONMENT? 308 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,342 MEN, I HOPE YOU REALIZE 309 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:23,200 A MUTINY MIGHT AFFECT YOUR PENSIONS. 310 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,705 I'M PREPARED TO OFFER YOU $5,000 EACH. 311 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:32,888 YOU FOOLS! WE STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO GET OUT OF THIS. 312 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,590 AND IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN, 313 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:38,115 NEXT WEEK IS THE ANNUAL KAOS DANCE! 314 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,485 $10,000. 315 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,367 I'M SORRY, SMART. 316 00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:49,159 MY MEN JUST HAPPEN TO BE CRAZY ABOUT DANCING. 317 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,712 THEY'RE ZEROING IN ON YOU, SIEGFRIED. 318 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,436 KRUEGER! 319 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,923 WHAT DID HE SAY, MAX? 320 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,825 HE SAID TO RELEASE THE OIL. 321 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,526 IT'S AN OLD TRICK, 99. 322 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:14,563 WHEN THE OIL GETS TO THE SURFACE THEY THINK THE SUB HAS BEEN HIT. 323 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,531 BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS, SIEGFRIED... 324 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,623 THE TRICK IS STUPID! 325 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,426 THE TRICK IS DUMB! 326 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,697 THE TRICK IS CHILDISH! 327 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,033 THE TRICK IS CHILDISH! 328 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,871 AND THE TRICK IS WORKING. 329 00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:38,109 QUICKLY, TAKE THESE TWO TO THE TORPEDO ROOM. 330 00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:45,482 YOU, SMART, OVER HERE. 331 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,699 LOAD YOURSELF INTO THE TORPEDO TUBE. 332 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:54,136 JUST WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN MIND, SIEGFRIED? 333 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,573 I THINK MY LITTLE PLAN WILL AMUSE YOU. 334 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,241 WELL, I CERTAINLY HOPE SO, 335 00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,411 BECAUSE UP UNTIL NOW YOU HAVEN'T EXACTLY BEEN A BARREL OF LAUGHS. 336 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,681 PERHAPS WHEN YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND. 337 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:10,252 I AM GOING TO FIRE THE BOTH OF YOU FROM THE TORPEDO TUBES. 338 00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:13,722 WHEN THE DESTROYERS MOVE IN TO RECOVER YOUR BODIES, 339 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,658 I WILL FIRE THE REAL TORPEDOES. 340 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,026 GET IN! 341 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:22,631 WAIT A MINUTE, SIEGFRIED. MAY I HAVE ONE LAST REQUEST? 342 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:24,533 LAST REQUEST? 343 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,535 IT'S JUST THAT MAXWELL SMART AND I 344 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,438 HAVE BEEN VERY DEAR FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME 345 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:32,796 AND I'D LIKE TO SHAKE HIS HAND GOODBYE. 346 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:38,313 WHAT KIND OF A LAST REQUEST IS THIS? 347 00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:41,316 WHAT HARM COULD IT DO? GO AHEAD! 348 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,851 MAX, THE MINI T.H.! 349 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,286 - MINI T.H.? - YES, THE MINIATURE TORPEDO HAMMER. 350 00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:47,989 THERE'S A POWERFUL EXPLOSIVE IN THE HEAD OF THIS HAMMER. 351 00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:51,994 ONE TAP ON THE NOSE OF THIS TORPEDO AND WE'LL ALL BE BLOWN TO BITS. 352 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,895 YOUR GUN, SIEGFRIED. 353 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,399 ALL RIGHT, NOW HAVE YOUR MEN DROP THEIR GUNS AMD BRING THE SUB TO THE SURFACE. 354 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,167 DO AS HE SAYS. 355 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,436 I HOPE YOU'VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON, SIEGFRIED. 356 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:04,161 I SURE HAVE. 357 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,910 WHAT DID HE SAY, MAX? 358 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,279 FROM NOW ON, 359 00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:13,803 NO MORE LAST REQUESTS! 360 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,242 ALL RIGHT, SIEGFRIED, MOVE OUT. 361 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:24,026 WELL, SIEGFRIED, YOU'RE GOING AWAY TO PRISON FOR A LONG LONG TIME. 362 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:27,128 I HAVE ESCAPED FROM PRISONS BEFORE 363 00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:29,497 AND I SHALL ESCAPE FROM PRISONS AGAIN. 364 00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:31,033 AND MAX WILL CAPTURE YOU AGAIN. 365 00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:34,302 - REALLY, MISS 99? - YES, SIEGFRIED. 366 00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,271 AS YOU GO THROUGH THE WORLD OF ESPIONAGE 367 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,307 YOU'LL FIND OUT THAT THERE ARE SOME BAD GUYS AND SOME GOOD GUYS. 368 00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:42,778 AND MAXWELL SMART HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS. 369 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:46,615 AS ONE BAD GUY TO ONE GOOD GUY, I PROMISE YOU 370 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,150 WE SHALL MEET AGAIN, SMART! 371 00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:51,075 ALL RIGHT, SIEGFRIED, MOVE OUT. 372 00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:57,392 - MAX, TELL ME SOMETHING. - YES, WHAT IS IT, 99? 373 00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:59,094 IF SIEGFRIED HADN'T SURRENDERED 374 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,797 WOULD YOU REALLY HAVE HIT THE TORPEDO WITH THAT HAMMER? 375 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,699 YES, BUT IT WOULDN'T HAVE DONE ANY GOOD. 376 00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,201 YOU SEE, I HAPPENED TO HAVE NOTICED WITH MY EAGLE EYE 377 00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:08,637 THAT THE FIRING PIN ON THIS HAMMER WAS DEFECTIVE. 378 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,394 - REALLY? - YES, NO GOOD AT ALL. 379 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,945 - 99, DO ME A FAVOR!? - TO DO WHAT, MAX? 380 00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:19,169 REMIND ME TO HAVE MY EAGLE EYE CHECKED! 381 00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:31,092 - HELLO, CHIEF. - 99, MAX! 382 00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:32,727 AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU. WELCOME HOME. 383 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:35,130 THOUGHT WE WERE GONE FOREVER, HUH, CHIEF? 384 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:38,433 NONSENSE, MAX. I HAVE ALL THE CONFIDENCE IN THE WORLD IN YOU. 385 00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:41,136 OH REALLY? THEN PERHAPS YOU CAN EXPLAIN 386 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,139 WHY A STRANGER'S CAR IS IN MY PARKING PLACE 387 00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:46,875 AND SOMEONE ELSE'S GYM SHOES ARE IN MY LOCKER. 388 00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:50,345 IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY, MAX. I KNEW YOU'D BE GONE FOR AT LEAST A WEEK. 389 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,547 ARE YOU SURE, CHIEF? 390 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,682 OF COURSE, MAX. 391 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:54,716 YES? 392 00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:56,552 Hobson: Agent 86 to see you, sir. 393 00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:59,388 UH, HAVEN'T YOU MADE SOME SORT OF MISTAKE, HOBSON? 394 00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:02,880 No, sir, you reassigned that number last week. 395 00:23:04,816 --> 00:23:07,963 - I'M SORRY, MAX. - IT'S OKAY, CHIEF. I'M EXPENDABLE. 396 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,732 - I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU, MAX. - A RAISE? 397 00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:12,234 NO, WE'RE OVER BUDGET. 398 00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:13,501 A VACATION? 399 00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:15,037 I CAN'T SPARE YOU RIGHT NOW. 400 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:18,507 HOW ABOUT ANOTHER SUICIDE MISSION? 401 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:19,874 DON'T BE A GROUCH! 402 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:22,544 I'M PROUD OF THE WAY YOU AND 99 HANDLED THIS ASSIGNMENT. 403 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:23,911 THANK YOU, CHIEF. 404 00:23:23,935 --> 00:23:26,714 AT LEAST SIEGFRIED IS BEHIND BARS WHERE HE BELONGS. 405 00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,983 I'M AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU, MAX. 406 00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:31,052 - SIEGFRIED HAS ESCAPED. - YOU'RE KIDDING. 407 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:34,236 NO, AS A MATTER OF FACT I JUST GOT THIS TELEGRAM FOR YOU. 408 00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:41,596 "WILL NOT REST UNTIL I HAVE KILLED YOU IN COLD BLOOD. 409 00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:43,665 SINCERELY, SIEGFRIED." 410 00:23:43,689 --> 00:23:45,567 MAX, HE REALLY MEANS THAT. 411 00:23:45,591 --> 00:23:50,004 I KNEW HE WAS VICIOUS AND CRUEL AND ROTTEN BUT THIS TIME HE'S GONE TOO FAR. 412 00:23:50,028 --> 00:23:51,105 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 413 00:23:51,129 --> 00:23:52,962 THIS TELEGRAM WAS SENT COLLECT! 31924

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