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1
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,139
MAX, IT WAS VERY
NICE OF YOU AND 99
2
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,141
TO TAKE ME OUT TO
CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY.
3
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,809
OH, IT'S NOTHING, CHIEF.
4
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,812
THE CONTROL BAKER MADE YOU
A VERY SPECIAL BIRTHDAY CAKE.
5
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:38,315
- WE HAD IT SENT OVER.
- OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKES,
6
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:42,774
- ISN'T THAT NICE?
- PRETTY FANCY, 99.
7
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,422
NOW, LET'S SEE.
8
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:50,593
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIEF
FROM THE GANG AT CONTROL."
9
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,495
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.
10
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,597
IT'S WRITTEN WITH
INVISIBLE ICING.
11
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,400
YOU SEE, CHIEF, WE DIDN'T
WANT TO REVEAL YOUR IDENTITY.
12
00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:00,403
AFTER ALL, YOU ARE THE HEAD
OF A TOP SECRET ORGANIZATION.
13
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,271
GOOD THINKING, MAX.
14
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,508
OH, THIS MUST BE
THE ENTERTAINMENT.
15
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,911
LOOK, CHIEF, THIS SHOULD
BE FUN. IT'S A MAGICIAN.
16
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,350
GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
17
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:17,353
I AM SIEGFRIED THE GREAT.
18
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,355
I AM HERE TONIGHT TO PROVE
19
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:21,825
THAT THE HAND IS QUICKER
20
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,327
THAN THE EYE.
21
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:27,263
I WILL PERFORM
22
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:30,088
AND YOU WILL ENJOY.
23
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,581
I SHALL NOW PERFORM
24
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,250
ONE OF MY MOST BRILLIANT TRICKS.
25
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,652
I NEED A VOLUNTEER
FROM THE AUDIENCE.
26
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,722
HOW ABOUT YOU, SIR?
YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN
27
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,957
OF IMAGINATION AND DARING.
28
00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:57,093
I THINK HE MEANS ME, CHIEF.
29
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,263
A MAN WHO IS NOT AFRAID
TO FACE THE TERRORS
30
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,331
OF THE UNKNOWN.
31
00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,967
I THINK HE MEANS YOU, CHIEF.
32
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:06,736
HAVE SOME FUN.
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.
33
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,805
NO, 99. I DON'T LIKE
TO GET UP IN PUBLIC.
34
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,507
- OH, COME ON.
- GO AHEAD, CHIEF.
35
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:14,945
- YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
- JUST STEP UP HERE,PLEASE.
36
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:20,951
NOW, STEP INSIDE THIS CABINET.
37
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:29,125
I SHALL NOW MAKE THIS MAN...
38
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,083
DISAPPEAR!
39
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,986
Audience: OH! OOH!
40
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:46,064
TERRIFIC, 99. REALLY TERRIFIC!
41
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,403
MAX, SOMETHING'S WRONG!
42
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,544
- THEY'RE BOTH GONE, 99.
- LOOK, THERE'S A NOTE.
43
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,427
"KAOS HAS YOUR CHIEF.
YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME.
44
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,596
- SIEGFRIED THE GREAT."
- WE'VE GOT TO GET HIM BACK!
45
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,665
CONTROL WILL BE
PARALYZED WITHOUT HIM, MAX.
46
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,234
I KNOW, 99, BUT FIRST WE
GOTTA FIND THAT MAGICIAN.
47
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:14,303
THAT'S JUST AS IMPORTANT. I
WANNA QUESTION HIM PERSONALLY.
48
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,039
TO FIND OUT WHAT HE
KNOWS ABOUT KAOS?
49
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:19,031
NO, TO FIND OUT HOW
HE DID THIS TRICK.
50
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,576
Carlson: WHAT'S BEING
DONE ABOUT THE CHIEF NOW?
51
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,912
WE HAVE EVERY AVAILABLE AGENT
OUT LOOKING FOR HIM, PROF. CARLSON.
52
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,648
GEE, 99, I'M REALLY
WORRIED ABOUT THE CHIEF.
53
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,717
- I HOPE NOTHING
HAS HAPPENED TO HIM.
- SO DO I, MAX.
54
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,485
THE CHIEF HAS NEVER
DISAPPEARED BEFORE.
55
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,153
WHO'S IN CHARGE OF CONTROL NOW?
56
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,590
DON'T WORRY, STANDISH.
IT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.
57
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:44,014
I'VE BEEN PREPARED
FOR A SITUATION LIKE THIS.
58
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,696
JUST A MOMENT, SMART. YOU
HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE OVER
59
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,131
- THE CHIEF'S JOB.
- AND WHY NOT?
60
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,933
I'M HEAD OF THE AGENT SECTION.
61
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,668
WELL, I'M HEAD OF
THE LAB SECTION,
62
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,637
AND STANDISH IS HEAD OF
THE ADMINISTRATION SECTION.
63
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,472
AND WE HAVE JUST AS MUCH
RIGHT TO BE CHIEF AS YOU DO.
64
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,441
- ESPECIALLY ME!
- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!
65
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,243
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, STANDISH.
66
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,645
WE CAN'T STAND HERE AND
ARGUE ABOUT IT ALL DAY.
67
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:04,480
LET'S STOP THIS BICKERING!
68
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:07,183
THERE'S A VERY SIMPLE AND
INTELLIGENT WAY TO HANDLE THIS THING.
69
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,786
AFTER ALL, THERE ARE OFFICIAL
PROCEDURES, YOU KNOW?
70
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,989
- GOOD, MAX.
- NOW, THIS IS THE WAY
WE'LL HANDLE IT...
71
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,991
I'LL THINK OF A NUMBER
FROM ONE TO 10.
72
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,595
NOW, IF EITHER OF YOU GUESS
THE NUMBER, YOU ARE CHIEF.
73
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:22,186
IF YOU DON'T, I'M CHIEF. OKAY...
74
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,390
- STANDISH?
- THREE.
75
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,039
RIGHT. LET'S MAKE
IT TWO OUT OF THREE.
76
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,975
SMART, SEEMS TO ME THAT
ONLY THE CHIEF'S SUPERIOR
77
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,344
CAN TELL US WHO IS IN CHARGE
WHILE THE CHIEF IS GONE.
78
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,814
BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHO
THE CHIEF'S SUPERIOR IS.
79
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,583
THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN
WHO'D KNOW THE CHIEF'S BOSS.
80
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,586
- 99, I'VE GOTTA
GO RIGHT TO THE TOP.
- MAX, YOU CAN'T CALL HIM.
81
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,543
I'VE GOT TO.
82
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,060
HELLO, THIS IS MAXWELL
SMART OF CONTROL.
83
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,728
I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO...
84
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:54,730
OH... NO.
85
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:57,600
NO NO NO NO. DON'T DISTURB
HIM. I'LL CALL BACK LATER.
86
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,669
THANK YOU.
87
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:03,272
CAN'T BOTHER HIM NOW, 99. HE'S HAVING
AN EMERGENCY MEETING AT HIS RANCH.
88
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:07,109
- TOP DIPLOMATIC
CONFERENCE, HUH?
- NO, IT'S ROUNDUP TIME.
89
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:10,680
MAX, I KNOW. LET'S CHECK THE SECRET
COMPARTMENT IN THE CHIEF'S DESK.
90
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,115
MAYBE THE NAME OF
HIS BOSS IS IN THERE.
91
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,117
GOOD IDEA, 99.
92
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:31,000
IN CASE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME,
93
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:35,805
CONTACT MY
SUPERIOR, ZEBRA 6-4-2.
94
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:39,564
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LOOK THIS UP
IN THE CHIEF'S SPECIAL CODEBOOKS, 99.
95
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,746
ZEBRA... THAT'S THE BLUE BOOK.
96
00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:45,748
THE BLUE BOOK IS THE
ONE WITH THE GREEN COVER.
97
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,584
SINCE WHEN DOES A BLUE
BOOK HAVE A GREEN COVER?
98
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,787
MAX WORKED IT OUT
WITH THE CODING SECTION.
99
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:54,757
IN CASE OF A KAOS INFILTRATOR,
EVERY BOOK HAS A COVER IDENTITY.
100
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:56,726
YOU SIMPLY HAVE A
COVER FOR A COVER.
101
00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,063
IT SAYS, "SEE GREEN BOOK."
102
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,265
THE GREEN BOOK IS THE
ONE WITH THE BLUE COVER.
103
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,955
MAX COULDN'T THROW AWAY A
PERFECTLY GOOD BOOK COVER.
104
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:10,273
AH, HERE IT IS. IT
LOOKS LIKE IT'S IN CODE.
105
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:14,544
IT SAYS, "BAKER ABLE.
106
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,546
SEE TELEPHONE BOOK."
107
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,382
WHERE'S THE TELEPHONE BOOK?
108
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:23,006
THE TELEPHONE BOOK IS
RIGHT HERE BY THE TELEPHONE.
109
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,188
ABLE BAKER, ABLE BAKER,
110
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,523
ABLE... UH, HERE IT IS.
111
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:30,926
THE NAME OF THE
CHIEF'S SUPERIOR IS...
112
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,362
- "ABEL BAKER."
- CALL HIM, MAX.
113
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:37,233
MAYBE HE'S CALLING US.
114
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,068
UH, THIS IS MAXWELL SMART.
115
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:42,605
SMART? SIEGFRIED THE GREAT.
116
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,740
I WILL RETURN YOUR CHIEF,
117
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:48,411
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT IN EXCHANGE.
118
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,580
I WOULD LIKE TO MEET WITH YOU.
119
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,248
I'M NOT MEETING YOU
WITH YOU, SIEGFRIED,
120
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,916
UNTIL I KNOW THE
CHIEF IS ALL RIGHT.
121
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,585
HOW DO I KNOW HE'S STILL ALIVE?
122
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,009
I WILL LET YOU TALK TO HIM.
123
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,958
- HELLO, MAX,
THIS IS THE CHIEF.
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, CHIEF?
124
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,127
- YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT.
- WAIT A MINUTE, HOW DO I KNOW
YOU'RE REALLY THE CHIEF?
125
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,929
You could be someone
impersonating him.
126
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,465
- MAX!
- IT'S THE CHIEF
ALL RIGHT.
127
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,058
MAX, DON'T BARGAIN WITH
KAOS. I'M EXPENDABLE. MY LIFE...
128
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,274
- SMART?
- WHAT HAPPENED?
129
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:21,844
YOUR CHIEF WAS JUST
SILENCED BY A PISTOL BUTT!
130
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,846
THAT'S A LITTLE DRASTIC,
ISN'T IT, SIEGFRIED?
131
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,848
COULDN'T YOU HAVE
JUST SHUSHED HIM?
132
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,184
WE DON'T SHUSH HERE!
133
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,186
I WILL FINISH YOUR
CONVERSATION FOR HIM
134
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,021
WHEN WE MEET.
135
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,489
ONE HOUR FROM NOW,
136
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,159
AT THE SOUTHEAST
CORNER OF POTOMAC PARK,
137
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,482
JUST THE TWO OF US.
138
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,297
I'M GOING TO MEET SIEGFRIED.
139
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,533
- MAX, YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO MEET HIM ALONE.
- YES, I AM.
140
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,568
NO, MAX, HE'S A KAOS MAN,
141
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,971
A THIEF, A KIDNAPPER,
MAYBE A KILLER.
142
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:53,230
99, SOMETIMES YOU JUST
HAVE TO GO ON TRUST.
143
00:08:57,403 --> 00:09:00,416
MAXWELL SMART?
144
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,852
SIEGFRIED THE GREAT?
145
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,388
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- I THINK I JUST BROKE
MY SHOE PHONE.
146
00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:09,158
SHALL WE PROCEED
WITH OUR LITTLE TALK?
147
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,461
JUST A MOMENT, SIEGFRIED.
148
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:14,063
- ARE YOU ARMED?
- OF COURSE NOT.
149
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:17,127
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DON'T YOU TRUST ME, SMART?
150
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:23,238
THAT'S THE WAY YOU COME
TO A PEACEFUL MEETING.
151
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:25,730
YOU OUGHTA BE ASHAMED
OF YOURSELF, SIEGFRIED.
152
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,400
HOW COULD YOU BE SO SNEAKY...
153
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,349
AND TREACHEROUS?
154
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,552
I SUGGEST WE CHECK ALL WEAPONS.
155
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,509
GOOD IDEA.
156
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,752
- MY REVOLVER.
- MY REVOLVER.
157
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,370
MY MACHINE PISTOL.
158
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,105
COME ON, SIEGFRIED.
159
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,496
MY MACHINE PISTOL.
160
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,980
MY SWITCHBLADE KNIFE.
161
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,715
I DON'T HAVE A
SWITCHBLADE KNIFE.
162
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:09,507
- HERE, I HAVE
AN EXTRA ONE.
- THANK YOU.
163
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,990
MY BRASS KNUCKLES.
164
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:16,514
MY BRASS KNUCKLES.
165
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:22,031
AND MY XKE500.
166
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,034
I HAVE NEVER SEEN A
WEAPON LIKE THIS BEFORE.
167
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:28,004
- MAY I?
- BE MY GUEST.
168
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,039
IT SHOOTS DUMDUM BULLETS.
169
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,209
IT CAN RIP A HOLE ON A MAN
THE SIZE OF AN ASHCAN COVER.
170
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,545
NASTY LITTLE WEAPON!
CONTROL ISSUE?
171
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:40,349
DON'T BE SILLY, CONTROL WOULD NEVER
ISSUE A WEAPON AS VICIOUS AS THIS.
172
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,419
I GOT IT FROM A MAIL-ORDER
HOUSE IN CHICAGO.
173
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,244
WELL, THAT'S IT.
174
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:50,448
CAREFUL, THAT'S MY
EXPLODING WALLET.
175
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,186
WHERE'S YOURS?
176
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,723
I MUST HAVE LEFT IT
IN MY OTHER PANTS.
177
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,627
HERE, I HAVE MY SUICIDE PILL.
178
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:06,041
IT'S RASPBERRY THIS MONTH.
179
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,710
- WANNA TRY IT?
- NO, THANKS.
180
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,602
- GO AHEAD, IT'S
NOT HABIT-FORMING.
- NO!
181
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:15,751
WHERE'S YOUR SUICIDE CAPSULE?
182
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,788
THIS IS MY SUICIDE RING.
183
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,990
I WILL HAVE TO KEEP IT ON.
184
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,951
A SUICIDE WEDDING RING?
HOW DOES THAT WORK?
185
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,160
THROUGH MY WIFE.
186
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,297
SHE TOLD ME IF I EVER
TAKE IT OFF, SHE WILL KILL ME.
187
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:31,233
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS,
SIEGFRIED. LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
188
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,904
- WHAT'S YOUR PROPOSITION?
- IF YOU WISH TO GET YOUR
CHIEF BACK, SMART,
189
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:38,774
YOU WILL DELIVER TO ME THE X11.
190
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:41,877
THE X... THE X11?!
191
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,879
THAT'S OUT OF THE
QUESTION, SIEGFRIED!
192
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:47,471
I CAN'T GIVE YOU THE
X11! NO, SIR! NO X11!
193
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:52,021
BY THE WAY, SIEGFRIED,
WHAT IS THE X11?
194
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,424
YOUR COUNTRY'S
LATEST DEFENSE DEVICE!
195
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,227
OH... YOU KNOW WHAT
I THINK, SIEGFRIED?
196
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:01,130
I DON'T THINK YOU EVEN
KNOW WHAT THE X11 IS.
197
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:05,467
THE X11 IS AN ALL NEW
LASER-POWERED MISSILE DETECTOR.
198
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:09,271
IT'S 12"x14"x4", IT'S
COMPLETELY PORTABLE,
199
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,273
WEIGHING ONLY TWO
LBS. EIGHT AND A HALF OZ.
200
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,509
AND THERE ARE EXACTLY
THREE OF THEM EXISTENT,
201
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,013
ONE BEING IN THE SAFE
IN YOUR CHIEF'S OFFICE!
202
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,015
IF YOU'RE SO SMART,
203
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,806
HOW COME YOU LOST
TWO WORLD WARS?
204
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,656
YOU HAVE MY DEAL, SMART.
205
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,525
DELIVER ONE X11 TO ME
206
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,461
AND I WILL DELIVER ONE LIVE
CONTROL CHIEF TO YOU. AGREED?
207
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,196
AGREED. WHERE AND WHEN?
208
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:38,156
RIGHT HERE, ONE HOUR FROM NOW.
209
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,338
BETTER MAKE THAT TWO HOURS.
210
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,330
IT WILL TAKE US AN HOUR
TO PUT ALL THIS JUNK AWAY.
211
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,918
THINK WE'LL GET
AWAY WITH IT, MAX?
212
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,509
I CERTAINLY HOPE SO,
FOR THE CHIEF'S SAKE.
213
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,512
SMART!
214
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:07,129
DID IT AGAIN.
215
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,098
- DID YOU BRING
THE CHIEF?
- JA!
216
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:15,304
DID YOU BRING THE X11?
217
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,273
YES, I HAVE IT RIGHT HERE.
218
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,729
THROW IT TO ME.
219
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,841
NOW YOU THROW ME THE CHIEF.
220
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,283
YOU DID IT, MAX.
221
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,874
YES, I GAVE HIM A DUMMY X11.
222
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,745
AND HE GAVE ME A DUMMY CHIEF.
223
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,024
YES, SIEGFRIED, I
UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY.
224
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,640
WHAT DID HE SAY, MAX?
225
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,477
HE SAYS THAT UNLESS I DELIVER THE
REAL X11 TO HIM WITHIN TWO HOURS,
226
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,146
HE'S GOING TO KILL THE CHIEF.
227
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,148
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, MAX?
228
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,416
WE CAN'T EXCHANGE
THE X11 FOR THE CHIEF.
229
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,554
NO, BUT WE CAN EXCHANGE THE
MOST IMPORTANT IN KAOS MAN FOR HIM.
230
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,057
- KARL DANKER.
- THEIR NUMBER ONE ASSASSIN.
231
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,892
- YES.
- BUT HOW ARE WE
GOING TO DO THAT, MAX?
232
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,494
WE DON'T HAVE KARL DANKER.
233
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:16,065
WE WILL, 99. I'M GOING OUT
AND FIND HIM AND BRING HIM IN.
234
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,200
OH, MAX, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
235
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,870
KARL DANKER HAS KILLED
19 CONTROL AGENTS ALREADY
236
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,938
AND AVOIDED CAPTURE EVERY TIME.
237
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:25,374
HE'S TRICKY AND
SHOWS NO MERCY, MAX.
238
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,878
YOU'LL BE IN EXTREME
DANGER EVERY MINUTE.
239
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,836
AND LOVING IT.
240
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,746
DANKER, FREEZE
RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
241
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:47,351
ALL RIGHT NOW,
TURN AROUND SLOWLY.
242
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,367
WELL, DANKER, I FINALLY GOT YOU.
243
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,504
YOU'VE ESCAPED CAPTURE
BY CONTROL 19 TIMES,
244
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,172
20.
245
00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,007
20?
246
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,798
THEY TOLD ME 19.
247
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,611
SMART'S RIGHT BEHIND ME.
CATCH HIM AS HE COMES IN.
248
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:23,254
SORRY ABOUT THAT, FATHEAD.
249
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:36,667
YOU BETTER GIVE UP, DANKER. THIS BUILDING
IS SURROUNDED BY 40 CONTROL AGENTS!
250
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,105
WOULD YOU BELIEVE 30?
251
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:48,123
ONE ANGRY BOY SCOUT?
252
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,347
GIRL SCOUT?
253
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,459
NOW, YOU'RE GONNA
GET IT THE HARD WAY.
254
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,762
HAVE YOU EVER USED ONE OF
THOSE THINGS BEFORE, DANKER?
255
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,564
- NO.
- WELL,
256
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,934
WHY DON'T I COME BACK A LITTLE LATER,
AFTER YOU'VE HAD A CHANCE TO PRACTICE?
257
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,358
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ANY LATER.
258
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:41,598
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE,
DANKER. YOU WANNA BE FRIENDS?
259
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,502
HOLD IT!
260
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,684
UH, LISTEN, I...
261
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:53,144
I HOPE I WASN'T OUT OF LINE
WITH THAT CRACK ABOUT FATHEAD.
262
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:07,424
WELL, FELLA, I GUESS
IT'S JUST NOT YOUR DAY.
263
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,612
WELL, 99, I HAVE DANKER
264
00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,614
SAFELY TUCKED AWAY IN SECURITY.
265
00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:23,118
GOOD WORK, MAX.
SIEGFRIED HASN'T CALLED YET.
266
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:26,043
THAT MUST BE HIM.
267
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,660
- HELLO? SMART HERE.
- THIS IS SIEGFRIED.
268
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:35,764
ARE YOU GOING
TO GIVE ME THE X11,
269
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,266
OR DOES YOUR YOUR CHIEF DIE?
270
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,836
NEITHER. YOU GIVE
ME BACK THE CHIEF
271
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,004
AND I'LL GIVE YOU
BACK KARL DANKER,
272
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:45,641
YOUR NUMBER ONE
KILLER. I JUST CAPTURED HIM.
273
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,211
WELL, THIS PUTS A
CRIMP IN MY PLANS.
274
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,647
NOW YOU HAVE OUR TOP MAN AND
WE HAVE YOURS... IT'S A STALEMATE.
275
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:56,173
I WOULDN'T COUNT ON THAT, SMART.
276
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,495
HELLO, IS THIS THE
ANSWERING SERVICE?
277
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,999
DO YOU HAVE KIDNAPPING
MESSAGES FOR MAXWELL SMART?
278
00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:13,169
37... UH, TEAR THAT UP. I
ALREADY HAVE THAT INFORMATION.
279
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,537
UH, WHAT'S YOUR COUNT?
280
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,907
SIX OF OURS AND THREE OF THEIRS?
281
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,198
OH, THANK YOU.
282
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,620
HELLO? OH HI, 99.
283
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,622
NO, WE'RE DOING PRETTY GOOD.
284
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,992
I THINK WE'RE AHEAD.
YEAH, WE HAVE 27 OF THEIRS
285
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,795
AND THEY HAVE 26 OF OURS.
286
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,532
HELLO? 99?
287
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,789
99?!
288
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,464
OKAY, THAT'S IT.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
289
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:59,548
NOW, KAOS HAS 99, BUT I
HAVE YOU, MISS DVORCHECK.
290
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,683
AND THAT PUTS US ONE UP ON KAOS.
291
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,685
NOW, IF SIEGFRIED
WANTS YOU BACK,
292
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,021
HE'LL HAVE TO GIVE US 99.
293
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,023
BUT I WOULD RATHER
STAY HERE WITH YOU.
294
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:10,025
THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.
295
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,286
WELL, OF COURSE THESE
EXCHANGES DO TAKE TIME.
296
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:19,034
OF COURSE YOU KNOW WHY I ASKED
297
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:22,171
- FOR THIS MEETING, SMART.
- OF COURSE.
298
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:25,274
- WE'VE BOTH RUN
OUT OF AGENTS.
- EXACTLY.
299
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,977
I HAVE ALL THE
CONTROL PERSONNEL,
300
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,445
AND YOU HAVE ALL
THE KAOS PERSONNEL.
301
00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:33,249
RIGHT, AND IT WOULDN'T DO ANY
GOOD OUR KIDNAPPING EACH OTHER
302
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,451
BECAUSE THERE'D BE NOBODY
LEFT TO DO THE NEGOTIATING.
303
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,819
EXACTLY. SHALL WE START?
304
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,122
OKAY, A STRAIGHT TRADE...
305
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,324
OUR CHIEF FOR YOUR
ASSASSIN DANKER.
306
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:45,227
AGREED. NOW, WE GIVE YOU BACK
307
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,896
YOUR LAB MAN FOR OUR LAB MAN.
308
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,099
HOLD ON, SIEGFRIED, EVERYBODY
IN THE ESPIONAGE BUSINESS KNOWS
309
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,635
THAT OUR LAB MAN IS THE
TOP MAN IN HIS PROFESSION.
310
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,137
THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT?
311
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:59,508
OUR LAB MAN FOR YOUR LAB MAN,
AND YOU GIVE US $10,000 IN CASH.
312
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,510
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
313
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,012
KAOS DOES NOT MAKE CASH DEALS.
314
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,448
WELL, I HAVE AN ALTERNATE OFFER.
315
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,250
LET'S SEE NOW...
316
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,452
WE'RE A LITTLE WEAK IN THE
ADMINISTRATION DEPARTMENT
317
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:13,755
SO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE'LL DO...
WE'LL FORGET ABOUT THE $10,000.
318
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,391
YOU GIVE US YOUR HEAD
BOOKKEEPER AND A MINOR ACCOUNTANT
319
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:19,495
AND OPTIONS ON TWO OF
YOUR BEST GARAGE MECHANICS.
320
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,229
THIS SOUNDS FAIR.
321
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:24,466
WE NEED SOME HELP
IN THE CODING SECTION.
322
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:28,169
HOW ABOUT GIVING US SMITHERS
IN YOUR DECIPHERING DEPARTMENT,
323
00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:30,305
AND THE FIRST CHOICE ON
THE TWO BEST MEN GRADUATING
324
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:31,974
FROM YOUR TRAINING SCHOOL?
325
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:33,709
NO DEAL!
326
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,044
WE DON'T GIVE AWAY OUR TRAINEES.
327
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,214
FORGET IT, SMART. THIS
COULD GO ON ALL DAY.
328
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,684
LET US WAIT.
329
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:44,620
YOUR CHIEF FOR DANKER AND
WE WILL GET TO THE REST LATER.
330
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,288
OKAY.
331
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:50,381
IN ONE HOUR THEN,
AT OUR WAREHOUSE.
332
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,952
HOLD IT.
333
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:04,306
- HELLO, MAX. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, CHIEF.
334
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,375
- DANKER.
- SIEGFRIED.
335
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,477
ALL RIGHT SIEGFRIED,
HOW DO WE HANDLE THIS?
336
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,747
- RELEASE DANKER.
- YOU RELEASE THE CHIEF.
337
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,384
- I DON'T TRUST YOU.
- I DON'T TRUST YOU EITHER.
338
00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:18,053
- ARE YOU ARMED?
- IF YOU LIKE,
339
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:20,011
FRISK ME.
340
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,982
NOW YOU.
341
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,364
WELL, ARE YOU
SATISFIED, SIEGFRIED?
342
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,832
VERY WELL, I WILL
RELEASE THE CHIEF.
343
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,990
AND I WILL RELEASE DANKER.
344
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,177
ALL RIGHT?
345
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:44,134
ALL RIGHT.
346
00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:48,583
OKAY, THAT'S IT.
347
00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:51,720
AND NOW JUST TO SHOW YOU
THERE ARE NO HARD FEELINGS,
348
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:55,223
A LITTLE MAGIC TRICK.
349
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,726
HEY LOOK, CHIEF, IT'S A RABBIT.
350
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,983
OBSERVE THIS.
351
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:02,901
HANDS UP!
352
00:22:04,456 --> 00:22:08,570
THE OLD GUN-IN-THE-RABBIT
TRICK AND I FELL FOR IT.
353
00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:09,905
UP UP!
354
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:13,396
WELL, SIEGFRIED, MAGIC
IS A TWO-WAY STREET.
355
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,613
OKAY, SIEGFRIED, IT'S MY TURN.
356
00:22:17,637 --> 00:22:21,371
BIG DEAL. IT'S ONLY A MAGIC GUN.
357
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:28,223
THE OLD LIGHTER-IN-THE-GUN-
IN-THE-RABBIT TRICK.
358
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:31,059
YOU WILL NOW RELEASE
THE REST OF MY KAOS AGENTS,
359
00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,729
AND I WILL RELEASE THE REST
OF YOUR CONTROL AGENTS.
360
00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:37,132
- I DON'T TRUST YOU.
- I DON'T TRUST YOU EITHER.
361
00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:39,467
OKAY, I'VE GOT A SUGGESTION
THAT WILL GUARANTEE
362
00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:41,292
WE BOTH LIVE UP TO THE BARGAIN.
363
00:22:42,394 --> 00:22:44,506
- WHAT?!
- HOSTAGES...
364
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:48,176
YOU LEAVE DANKER WITH ME, AND I'LL
LEAVE THE CHIEF WITH YOU. RIGHT, CHIEF?
365
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,044
- WRONG, MAX.
- "WRONG, MAX."
366
00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:53,047
OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS?
I'LL GO WITH DANKER
367
00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:55,584
AND YOU GO WITH SIEGFRIED.
368
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:58,320
DO YOU WANNA GO WITH
DANKER? I'LL GO WITH SIEGFRIED.
369
00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:00,688
DO YOU WANNA GO WITH
DANKER AND SIEGFRIED?
370
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:03,858
WELL, HOW ABOUT ME GOING
WITH DANKER AND SIEGFRIED?
371
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:06,116
JUST YOU AND I, HUH, CHIEF?
372
00:23:13,358 --> 00:23:15,671
THE MASS EXCHANGE SEEMS
TO BE GOING ALL RIGHT, MAX.
373
00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:17,627
PERFECT, CHIEF.
374
00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:22,878
Max: CONTROL AGENT HARRIS
FOR KAOS AGENT, HEINICKE.
375
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:26,804
CONTROL AGENT BLACKHAWK
FOR KAOS AGENT BODIE.
376
00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:33,288
MR. STANDISH, I WOULD
LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
377
00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:35,490
FOR THE BLOW TO YOUR
EAR WHEN I KIDNAPPED YOU.
378
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:37,492
I HOPE YOU DIDN'T
IMPAIR YOUR HEARING.
379
00:23:37,516 --> 00:23:40,083
- WHAT?
- NEVER MIND.
380
00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:46,868
HI, 99. NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK.
381
00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:50,572
I'M SURE IT IS, MAX. I JUST
SPOKE TO MISS DVORCHECK.
382
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,130
SHE'S A LIAR, 99.
383
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:59,548
- AUF WIEDERSEHEN, SMART.
- SO LONG, SIEGFRIED.
384
00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:01,517
AND FROM NOW ON,
385
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,542
LEAVE THE SPYING TO US.
386
00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:07,488
HAVE WE GOT ALL OUR AGENTS, MAX?
387
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:10,380
I THINK SO, CHIEF, BUT I'LL
DOUBLE-CHECK JUST TO MAKE SURE.
388
00:24:14,753 --> 00:24:16,731
- YES, THEY'RE ALL HERE.
- THEN LET'S GO.
389
00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:17,933
- WE CAN'T.
- WHY NOT?
390
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:20,490
SIEGFRIED KIDNAPPED
OUR BUS DRIVER.
29514
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