Original subtitles

We want to impress our guests that they are very conservative people, so you

must not make anything too spicy.

All right, we can do that. I can't stress the importance of that enough.

Nothing spicy, but not boring either.

Bland and grand. Got it.

I certainly hope so, since the success of my husband's business venture relies

on the opinion of these people.

Oh, no pressure there.

I'm sure you'll do fine. You come very highly recommended.

In fact, you catered my friend Dolores Berenger's party, and her husband was

promoted to partner the very next day.

She swears up and down it was due to the success of the dinner.

Although I couldn't even understand what she was saying over all that giggling.

Anyway, I'll leave you to your duties. I'm sure you'll do fantastic.

Hors d 'oeuvres?

Such a horrible word.

Hors d 'oeuvres.

Can't you just call it a snack?

Since you're the head of the zoning commission, Gordon, it's imperative that

have you on board, or we can't even begin to build downtown.

A lot of jobs are depending on us, and we want to make sure that we can count

you.

I hear your point.

And I really wish there was something I could do to help.

But unfortunately, my hands are tied.

You see, my wife, she wouldn't go for a sort of business like that in our

community.

All those writhing, sweaty bodies.

She'll say it's immoral.

It's a health club, spa, Gordon. It's not a whorehouse.

What can I say?

It's a spandex. It's obscene.

With all due respect, Mr. Gordon, I think you're really missing the big

here. With all due respect, Mr. Fancy, you don't know my wife.

She's always been a bit of a cold fish, yes.

But I knew that when I married her.

You see, after she gave birth to our first son, she told me I'd have to wait

have sex until she was ready again.

So? So, my son finally left.

And I think she's finally ready to have sex with me again.

And I don't want anything.

Messed that up.

Son's gone. Where did he go?

College.

Yeah, Dave.

You realize we've been busy every night this week?

I know. It's great.

My phone just keeps ringing.

I've been working so hard, though. It's just... New business and all.

I'm not complaining.

I just need something to spend all this overtime money on.

Let's go get a drink after this.

Oh, you're funny. You always say that.

But I'll probably just go home and work on some recipes, cook something, clean

something, and go to bed.

And you always say that.

You know, you need to learn to balance business and pleasure.

I don't have time for pleasure.

You make your own schedule, Caroline.

And the cycle continues.

Besides, I like working.

I get to be the conductor to this little symphony of prices and flavors and

textures. With my wooden spoon as my baton, I make music in people's mouths.

Yeah. You are the maestro, and I am your orchestra of one.

That's why we work so well together.

That's what I'm telling you.

I... I already know that.

We work so well together, I don't think I could do this without you.

Well, you could.

No way.

Well, probably I could, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

Wait. Shh. Listen.

Here. Do you hear it? What?

The drums.

What drums?

Shh. Listen.

I think it's coming.

I hear them.

They're faint and distant.

They're calling to me, telling me they want to come forward, that they want to

be heard.

See?

If I add more spice, they get even louder and more thumping.

Native and restless.

They're restless, and I turn up the heat, and I add some wine,

and it becomes a drunken primal orgy.

Drunken primal orgy soup.

That's what we should call it.

It's better than bouillabaisse.

Have you ever heard the term married to your work?

Yes.

That's exactly it. I am happily married to my work.

And lately it feels like I'm literally married to it.

What do you mean?

Well, I don't know exactly, but ever since we've been catering, I've been

this vivid recurring daydream.

A fantasy.

Right.

Sometimes, when I'm cooking, I imagine a man coming up from behind me, and

he gently wraps his arms around me.

He sweeps the hair from my neck and kisses me, and he whispers in my ear,

and then he ravishes me right there.

And when we're done, I snap out of it, and my meal's finished.

I barely even remember cooking it. It's like my subconscious is trying to tell

me something.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, it is trying to tell you something. It's trying to tell

you that you're horny.

It's definitely more powerful than that.

Something happened. It's like the spices or something get a magical boost.

I mean, you've seen the effects of some of my creations.

Yeah, I have.

It has really an ecstatic effect on people.

You're like the master of deliciousness.

You are so funny.

No, I'm serious.

It has, like, an aphrodisiac effect on people.

Well, seriously, though, I think it's just trying to tell me that for all you

guys out there, I have to keep being patient.

Yeah, mental patient.

Shut up.

So what does he look like, this fantasy man?

Well, I don't know exactly, because he's usually behind me and he wears a mask.

So really, you're dreaming about doggie style with the Lone Ranger?

All right.

Tonto, finish up, and you need to come get a drink with me and cut loose.

And you need to cut vegetables.

Get back to work, smart aleck.

See if I ever tell you anything personal again.

Hey, come on.

Nah, I told you well.

All right, I'm going to go get another pepper.

Was there a whole ocean away? I'd have to travel far just to

see you.

It's not that I would not do that for you. It's just that I

want you here now.

Why does it have to be this way?

Carolina Carolina Carolina Hey, Carolina

Is this what you're talking about?

You've been on autopilot for a while You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine

The first course is ready.

So I asked him, I go, what kind of curtain are you going to put out in this

building right there in the middle of the desert?

And he's like, curtain?

That's a building engineer. He has no idea we're talking about the curtain,

right? So I told him that's the outside facade that goes on the building, right?

There's actually no place for it in the desert.

But that's just an old other story in itself.

But Gordon, what I really wanted to talk to you about.

I have some proposals for you on what my business has done for the whole

Springfield community. How it saved the local community.

Yeah, I think that matter is about closed.

Ah, well, let's save the business talk for after dinner, shall we, boys?

How is your soup tasting, Prudence?

Um,

very nice, actually.

Quite nice.

Just so hot. Hot?

Oh, no. I specifically told the chef nothing spicy.

I'm just so hungry.

Finish your soup, honey.

You have such a beautiful home.

Mr. Fancy, you can count on my vote.

Thank you very much, sir.

I know I can.

Y 'all drive safe.

Here is your payment for tonight.

dinner, and I included a very large tip.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

Just one more little thing.

Yes? Could I get the recipe for that delicious soup?

Oh, sure.

I just kind of throw it together on the fly, but sure, I'll give you what I

have. Absolutely.

Okay. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

I've got this. You should go out and do something fun.

Well, I'll stay around, help you clean up, and then you can come do something

fun with me.

You're sweet, but I think I'm just going to go home and get ready for tomorrow

night's job.

All right. Well, I can come help you get ready.

That's okay.

You should go out. Have that drink you've been talking about all night.

My roommate's home. She can help me.

You know, it wasn't the...

The drink I was after is the company.

You know, I can't believe I didn't see this before.

Finally.

Okay. My roommate is the same age as you.

And she's single and she's absolutely adorable.

I should introduce you two.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm serious. You would love her.

You know...

You really don't get it, do you?

I think I am going to take off.

I'll see you later.

I'm telling you, he would love him.

He's cute and funny and he's so sweet.

And he's got a really, really hot body.

Wow.

Then why don't you date him?

Because he's too young.

He's the same age as me, and you live with me.

Because we work together, and that's a recipe for disaster.

I'm just being realistic.

Realistic?

Like holding out for dream date Zorro?

I guess.

I'm not done yet.

Whatever.

Your loss of sanity is my gain.

When do I get to meet him?

Well, he didn't seem to be feeling so well when he left work, so I was

of baking him a cake and bringing it to him tomorrow.

You could come with me.

That sounds like a terrible idea.

Yeah, well, what else have you got to lose?

If all else fails, there will still be cake.

Whatever.

You were there a whole ocean away. I'd have to travel far

just to see you.

It's not that I would not do that for you. It's just that I

want you here now.

Why does it have to be this way?

this way why are you so far away

if I could I would get on a plane and fly

You were there a whole ocean away. I'd have to travel far to

be you.

It's not that I would not do that for you. It's just that I

want to be in hell.

Why does it have to be this way?

Why?

Why does it have to be this way?

Why do you feel down in the dumps?

It's a classic tale of unrequited love.

Oh. Well, you should stay late and tell me about it sometime.

Sometime.

Come on, man.

What are you, blind?

The bartender was totally hitting on you.

Yeah. I'm not interested.

Please tell me you're gay.

All right.

Because the only other way you couldn't be interested in her is if you were

dead, and I still need this half of the rent.

That's compassion.

She's got you blind, gay, and dead, dude.

Just get up and move on.

She doesn't like you like that.

How many times can you ask her out in some new and creative way just to have

turn you down?

First she's too busy, then she's too crazy.

Listen to what she's telling you.

She's telling me she's not interested, but her eyes are telling a different

story.

Fine.

Listen to her eyes, then.

Okay, guys, we're closing up, but my apartment is right around the corner if

want to keep the party going.

Yeah, I'd like to, but, uh...

Unfortunately, I have to get old Eeyore home safe before he loses his tail.

Come on, Captain Cockblock.

Oh,

my birthday is not for a couple months, but that's

Thank you. That's not weird at all.

It's the middle of the afternoon. I didn't think we'd be waking you.

No, I wasn't asleep.

I was asleep, yes, but that's fine. That's okay.

Charlie, what's up? This is Carolina.

The Carolina?

Yeah. Oh, damn.

Nice.

I mean, nice to meet you. I'm Charlie.

That's smooth, Charlie.

That's smooth.

Uh, and this is, um... This is my roommate, Adele. Um, I told you about

night. Oh, yeah.

Nice meeting you.

I'm gonna hit the shower.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

Amazing.

Um, I don't think we have any plates.

Oh, wait. Hey.

Here? Perfect.

Thank you.

There you go.

Oh, well, look at the time. Um, I have a meeting I forgot I'm late for. Uh,

Aaron, could you please give Adele a ride home?

She's a great chef. You should really try this cake.

Yeah, she's amazing.

I know that.

She told me that you were hot, but I

didn't know how hot you were.

Thank you.

Look.

Sure, you don't want to try something on me?

I'm fine, I really am alright, thanks though.

You seem really nice, but I am

going to go put some pants on and I'll drive you home.

Okay, maybe you should put some pants on too.

Hi. Hi.

Do you want to try some?

Bye.

um um

Mm -mm.

Hmm.