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1
00:00:30,570 --> 00:00:32,830
The problem with working with your
significant other is destiny.
2
00:00:33,670 --> 00:00:37,470
On those days when the love is gone,
those are the days you are destined to
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00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:38,470
together the most.
4
00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:47,030
Whether it's your girlfriend... Hey
Ellie, you want to sneak into room 134
5
00:00:47,030 --> 00:00:48,130
some at -work sex?
6
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:51,290
The patient in there can't tell anybody
because she had her larynx chewed up by
7
00:00:51,290 --> 00:00:52,290
chipmunks.
8
00:00:53,790 --> 00:00:56,430
Look, DJ, I can't always be ready for
sex.
9
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,760
I'm at work. I'm a doctor. I have to
take it seriously.
10
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,920
I have a free ice cream sundae for
anyone who can guess the growth on
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00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:05,920
Oski's nose.
12
00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:07,980
Is it a pimple?
13
00:01:08,140 --> 00:01:12,020
A tumor! A tumor! Is it a tiny sandwich?
14
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,240
Or your wife.
15
00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:18,840
Baby, what's the issue with the sex we
had this morning? I was Tarzan, you were
16
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:23,420
Jane, we were making sweet jungle love,
until I yelled out...
17
00:01:32,170 --> 00:01:36,070
The next time you take that long to pop,
I'm going to reach into your urethra
18
00:01:36,070 --> 00:01:37,090
and pull it out myself.
19
00:01:40,090 --> 00:01:42,590
Or even if it's your ex -wife and then
wife again.
20
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:44,930
Do you really need to walk that close to
me?
21
00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:51,150
I will walk wherever I want to walk. And
you will enjoy it because you are my
22
00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:53,570
husband. And I control you.
23
00:01:58,330 --> 00:02:00,430
That kind of gave me a boner.
24
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,240
Dirk, what happened to us? We used to be
such players.
25
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,820
DJ, that was college. This is real life.
26
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:09,840
Ah, college.
27
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,280
I remember it clearly.
28
00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:13,400
The toga parties.
29
00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:15,260
The frat house.
30
00:02:15,820 --> 00:02:18,260
Dean Warner putting us on double secret
probation.
31
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,800
That robot vacuuming our house.
32
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,220
Us doing that rap at the carnival in
order to get on the Greek council.
33
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,120
I remember it so clearly.
34
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:30,300
Like it was yesterday.
35
00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:36,340
For a new sensation, the studios have
brought you the smash hit sex comedy,
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00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:40,440
Ashland Goes to College. Because the new
series that will have you busted
37
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enough, that is DJ Goes to Med School.
38
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,200
Here's the piece!
39
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um um
40
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There you go. There you go.
41
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Oh.
42
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,240
Yes, yes.
43
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Amen.
44
00:15:06,090 --> 00:15:07,090
Ugh.
45
00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:11,380
Oh.
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00:18:36,189 --> 00:18:38,990
I love
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00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:46,490
you.
48
00:19:08,540 --> 00:19:11,020
Oh, God.
49
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,180
Oh, God.
50
00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:30,950
Oh my god!
51
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,360
Bye. Bye.
52
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:06,360
yes oh
53
00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:13,440
yeah
54
00:21:35,950 --> 00:21:37,250
Turn around, turn around, turn around,
open up.
55
00:21:37,590 --> 00:21:39,570
Like this, like this, turn like that,
there you go.
56
00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:41,210
There you go.
57
00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:43,750
There you go.
58
00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:45,450
Oh,
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fuck!
60
00:21:50,010 --> 00:21:51,010
Yes!
61
00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:52,090
Oh,
62
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:55,250
fuck me!
63
00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:56,550
Yes! Yes!
64
00:21:56,930 --> 00:21:58,090
Come here and fuck me!
65
00:21:58,530 --> 00:22:01,590
Yes! Oh my God, just open your mouth,
baby. I'm gonna turn around, okay?
66
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,080
Open, open, open.
67
00:23:11,699 --> 00:23:14,220
And then we formed the Breakfast Club.
68
00:23:15,380 --> 00:23:19,060
DJ, life has turned out pretty good for
the both of us. So what if we don't get
69
00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:20,880
laid like we used to? I'm a doctor.
70
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,580
I don't get to work with my best butt.
71
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,940
He was talking about me.
72
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,000
He said best butt.
73
00:23:29,620 --> 00:23:30,620
So high five.
74
00:23:31,700 --> 00:23:32,700
Oh.
75
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,080
Despite all the high fives and the
comfort from Dirk, I just couldn't help
76
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,120
thinking that life would be much better
if we all got more sex.
77
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:47,480
I mean, look at the janitor. He's a
janitor, for goodness sake. I heard
78
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,840
I was just making a point.
79
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:57,340
As I was thinking, he's a janitor, but
he gets so much pussy that he doesn't
80
00:23:57,340 --> 00:24:01,120
mind mopping up blood and urine and
sprinkles from his ice cream sundae.
81
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,200
How does he do it, Chocolate Bear?
82
00:24:05,540 --> 00:24:07,700
He must be super suave, Vanilla Cakes.
83
00:24:10,460 --> 00:24:11,560
Hey, excuse me.
84
00:24:12,580 --> 00:24:13,580
Yes?
85
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:18,360
I was cleaning up this pile of vomit and
I had to ask you, does that look like a
86
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,600
raisin or a mouse turd?
87
00:24:23,780 --> 00:24:24,780
Shelly?
88
00:25:56,330 --> 00:25:58,890
Fuck. Fuck.
89
00:27:29,659 --> 00:27:31,900
Come on.
90
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:52,560
Thank you.
91
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,000
Sit down.
92
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,380
I think I know what's happening.
93
00:37:02,660 --> 00:37:04,040
I'm here to clean out the mess.
94
00:37:53,470 --> 00:37:57,430
You can sign in at school.
95
00:38:14,830 --> 00:38:15,830
You like that?
96
00:38:16,010 --> 00:38:17,010
Mm -hmm.
97
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:36,440
Can you tell me how good that is?
98
00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:02,750
I got it.
99
00:41:58,350 --> 00:41:59,350
That I do.
100
00:42:05,550 --> 00:42:08,450
So, the plan was to get everybody hungry
again.
101
00:42:08,810 --> 00:42:10,110
Even if I had to trick them.
102
00:42:11,030 --> 00:42:12,030
What do you want?
103
00:42:12,610 --> 00:42:15,790
Dr. Cox paid me $20 to come over here
and let you insult me.
104
00:42:16,710 --> 00:42:17,710
Why would he do that?
105
00:42:19,110 --> 00:42:21,370
Because he loves you and he wants you to
have a nice day.
106
00:42:22,530 --> 00:42:23,530
Aww.
107
00:42:23,670 --> 00:42:25,030
Well, that's so sweet of him.
108
00:42:26,390 --> 00:42:27,390
Excuse me!
109
00:42:28,230 --> 00:42:29,990
He said it should be done quietly.
110
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:36,670
DJ's balls are oddly misshapen. One
looks like an almond, and the other one
111
00:42:36,670 --> 00:42:37,750
looks like Howard Stern.
112
00:42:41,230 --> 00:42:44,910
She only saw them once, and it was very
cold outside.
113
00:42:46,370 --> 00:42:47,610
That's what I call...
114
00:43:52,910 --> 00:43:53,910
Thank you.
115
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:24,880
Uh huh.
116
00:47:24,009 --> 00:47:25,410
Yeah.
117
00:47:46,670 --> 00:47:48,070
No!
118
00:48:49,730 --> 00:48:52,530
Thank you.
119
01:00:18,700 --> 01:00:19,700
shit opens.
120
01:02:43,690 --> 01:02:46,250
Good thing you didn't fuck up my face. I
gotta go back to work.
121
01:02:51,470 --> 01:02:52,470
Mr.
122
01:02:55,450 --> 01:02:57,110
Gorman, I'm here to change your
bandages.
123
01:02:58,190 --> 01:02:59,730
Okay, just please be gentle.
124
01:03:00,050 --> 01:03:01,190
Oh, of course I will.
125
01:03:13,260 --> 01:03:15,240
I've been with you a long time.
126
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:19,800
You know about my greatest achievement
and my most embarrassing moment.
127
01:03:21,860 --> 01:03:24,180
Man, are you ready for the Naked Heart
Hospital talent show?
128
01:03:24,460 --> 01:03:26,500
Everyone's gonna be so psyched to hear
our Rizzle Rizzle rap!
129
01:03:26,940 --> 01:03:28,620
Yeah, boy, I'm gonna get this party
started.
130
01:03:28,980 --> 01:03:29,980
Remember everything?
131
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:31,220
Let's get our rap on, bro.
132
01:03:34,020 --> 01:03:35,420
This is going to be the best.
133
01:03:37,780 --> 01:03:39,980
Marla, you are my hot Latin baby.
134
01:03:40,500 --> 01:03:41,640
And I love you.
135
01:03:42,780 --> 01:03:48,160
So much that sometimes I have to skip
the romance because... Because I need
136
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:49,740
close to me so badly.
137
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:53,840
So I wanted to tell you exactly how I
feel.
138
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:55,660
I love you.
139
01:03:56,220 --> 01:03:57,220
Dirt.
140
01:03:57,860 --> 01:04:01,580
Yes, I hit the flowers and Mr. Gorman's
leg banded.
141
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:28,920
What's this about, baby?
142
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:30,560
You know.
143
01:05:01,450 --> 01:05:02,910
Fuck you didn't take care
144
01:09:28,280 --> 01:09:30,140
Yes, yes, just like that.
145
01:09:31,380 --> 01:09:32,420
Oh, don't stop.
146
01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:35,840
Yes.
147
01:10:20,170 --> 01:10:21,170
Thank you.
148
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:33,620
Jerky. But the tip.
149
01:20:26,510 --> 01:20:27,710
It was down to just two.
150
01:20:28,170 --> 01:20:31,730
I really wasn't sure what I could do to
convince Ellie to want to have sex with
151
01:20:31,730 --> 01:20:32,730
me.
152
01:20:33,870 --> 01:20:34,870
Hey.
153
01:20:35,150 --> 01:20:36,150
Hey.
154
01:20:38,230 --> 01:20:39,230
Do you want to have sex?
155
01:20:40,370 --> 01:20:44,210
CJ, I told you. I'm at work. If I'm at
work, I have to work. I don't want to
156
01:20:44,210 --> 01:20:45,210
have sex.
157
01:20:47,570 --> 01:20:48,810
What if I invite the pet?
158
01:21:38,299 --> 01:21:39,299
Thank you.
159
01:22:09,310 --> 01:22:10,710
Oh.
160
01:22:39,180 --> 01:22:40,180
Oh.
161
01:23:14,900 --> 01:23:17,620
Thank you.
162
01:23:48,220 --> 01:23:49,620
Oh,
163
01:23:53,940 --> 01:23:54,940
my God.
164
01:24:50,640 --> 01:24:57,440
Oh, God. There you go.
165
01:25:28,900 --> 01:25:30,300
Oh.
166
01:25:55,430 --> 01:25:56,430
Oh!
167
01:27:16,650 --> 01:27:17,650
Thank you.
168
01:30:45,800 --> 01:30:46,800
Oh my God.
169
01:32:32,370 --> 01:32:36,670
Where are you?
170
01:33:51,530 --> 01:33:52,530
Thank you.
171
01:34:21,040 --> 01:34:22,040
Thank you.
172
01:36:08,500 --> 01:36:10,060
Oh! Oh!
173
01:40:30,830 --> 01:40:35,170
As I lay there next to Ellie, I realize
that sometimes you have to do what you
174
01:40:35,170 --> 01:40:37,210
have to do in order to make yourself
happy.
175
01:40:38,030 --> 01:40:44,190
And now, even with the Ted high -fiving
me in his sleep, I realize that I'm
176
01:40:44,190 --> 01:40:45,190
happy too.
11238
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