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1
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:16,260
I heard you got rid of your testosterone
-filled cologne.
2
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,600
Indeed I did.
3
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,140
Does that turn you on?
4
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,140
Sam, you'd have to get rid of a lot more
than that to turn me on, you shallow
5
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:25,460
jerk. Shallow? Me?
6
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:26,920
Me?
7
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,280
Shallow?
8
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,340
Yes, uh, you.
9
00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:32,060
Shallow.
10
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:33,840
Very good.
11
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:35,220
Big caveman.
12
00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:36,580
Very funny, baby.
13
00:05:36,780 --> 00:05:39,280
Look, what does it take for a guy to get
through to you?
14
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,900
Have to buy some salt and a good powder.
It'll just get through that icy top of
15
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:43,439
the land.
16
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,440
Carla.
17
00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:47,100
Why does that thing bat think I'm
shallow?
18
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,300
Hey, Sam.
19
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:50,820
You left your mirror in breakfast.
20
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,100
Thank you, Woody.
21
00:05:58,720 --> 00:05:59,980
Wow, maybe she's right.
22
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:05,220
Maybe to show her how bad I really want
her, I'm going to have to sacrifice
23
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,380
something. Something that I really love.
24
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,240
About... Start with my Bartash.
25
00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:10,700
Everyone knows how much I love those.
26
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:15,900
I was thinking more along the lines of
hair care products.
27
00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:19,220
Carla!
28
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:23,980
I'm going to give those to you.
29
00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:28,080
Sam! I don't know what to say.
30
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:29,720
These are your hair products.
31
00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:31,020
They're a big part of you.
32
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,920
It's like having a big, thick, plastic
piece of you.
33
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,220
I'm going to go put these on my
nightstand.
34
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,040
Thanks, Sam.
35
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000
Don't mention it.
36
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,279
Hey,
37
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:58,660
can
38
00:06:58,660 --> 00:06:59,660
I get a beer there, Sammy?
39
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,800
Coming up.
40
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:12,630
Probably not fluently.
41
00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:15,430
You think I'm so stuck on myself.
42
00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:18,250
I just gave away all my hair care
products.
43
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,970
Well, that is wonderful.
44
00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:23,610
Well, I'm a wonderful guy.
45
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,110
And not shallow.
46
00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:27,830
I think you're missing a point, Sam.
47
00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:29,990
I think you're missing my point, Diane.
48
00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:33,750
You gave away your hair care products.
49
00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:36,150
So what's the big deal?
50
00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:37,530
The big deal?
51
00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:41,960
The big deal is this baby goes south at
midnight faster than Hall & Oates sex
52
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:42,960
appeal.
53
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,360
That's the big deal.
54
00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:46,400
It's not enough, Sam.
55
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:52,180
I'm like a fine, beautiful Rousseau
painting, and you're more like a Captain
56
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,500
Caveman coloring book.
57
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,500
There's just no chemistry.
58
00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,040
And besides, you have a gaggle of
floozies at your beck and call.
59
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,040
And in my book, that's a faux pas.
60
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,160
And Sam, I've read many books.
61
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:07,940
Many.
62
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,200
Mr. Peterson, is there anything else I
can get you?
63
00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:19,880
You got a muzzle for Mrs. Peterson?
64
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,060
No muzzle, anything else?
65
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,380
A muzzle for beer, huh?
66
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,600
How about another beer, Woody?
67
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,220
And while you're at it, could you call
Mrs. Peterson and tell her to stop
68
00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:31,220
barking at the neighbors?
69
00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:32,420
Sure thing.
70
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,220
Woody?
71
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:40,780
I want to give you this.
72
00:08:46,690 --> 00:08:50,370
Okay Sam, this is your little black
book.
73
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:52,550
Really? Really.
74
00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:55,790
I don't need it anymore.
75
00:08:56,550 --> 00:08:59,130
From now on, I'm a one -woman man.
76
00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:02,610
Thank you. This is great.
77
00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:06,790
Cool. I noticed.
78
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:11,550
But this is perfect timing because my
mother and father are coming in from
79
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:17,070
Indiana and I wanted to take... You
know, a date out on a big night out,
80
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:20,170
Showing that little country boy he's
become a big city man.
81
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:22,430
Yeah, where are you taking him, Woody?
82
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,150
Well, Chuck E. Cheese.
83
00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:25,770
It's half -priced pizza now.
84
00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:27,930
Chuck E. Cheese.
85
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,530
There's a note here.
86
00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:35,810
It says, ready, willing, and double
jointed.
87
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,630
Exactly what does that mean?
88
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,350
It means she loves half -priced pizza,
Woody.
89
00:09:51,470 --> 00:09:52,470
Hello, Melody?
90
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,610
Hey, this is Woody. It's Sam's friend.
91
00:09:56,170 --> 00:09:57,190
Oh, yeah, he's fine.
92
00:09:58,770 --> 00:10:02,930
Oh, I don't know. I'd have to ask him.
Hey, Sam, do you still do that thing
93
00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:04,550
your tongue where you flick it super
fast?
94
00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,350
No.
95
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:08,610
He says no.
96
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,290
So I was wondering if you'd like to go
out with me later.
97
00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:14,970
Well, that is fantastic news. I'll see
you at Cheers.
98
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,350
Uh -huh.
99
00:10:17,890 --> 00:10:19,130
Oh, as long as they...
100
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,040
All right, black.
101
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:28,180
Carla, hell, is that you?
102
00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:32,660
I guess you're not as dumb as your
nickname, stupid, led me to believe.
103
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,840
Oh, thanks for that, Carla.
104
00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:36,740
What can I get for you?
105
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,380
Your number.
106
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,740
I'm not into vaginas unless they look
like penises.
107
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:54,960
But I can learn.
108
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:02,600
Wow,
109
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,600
these new hair products really work.
110
00:11:05,340 --> 00:11:07,180
I want you and your hair.
111
00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:11,080
You sound like my ex -husband just
before he left me.
112
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:12,740
Terrible.
113
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,660
Nah, he was a pig, but it turned me on.
114
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,340
Hey, Nomi, I found some nuts we can
share.
115
00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:53,450
I've been waiting for this day.
116
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:29,570
There's a lot more I can do with this
now.
117
00:13:02,030 --> 00:13:03,090
I don't know what I'm doing.
118
00:31:22,350 --> 00:31:23,350
Go back to men now.
119
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,400
You basically told me that you wouldn't
sleep with me because I'm infatuated
120
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:57,580
with my car. I smell.
121
00:31:58,160 --> 00:31:59,160
I'm shallow.
122
00:31:59,380 --> 00:32:00,560
I'm with too many women.
123
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,760
I give up all of that, and you still
won't sleep with me.
124
00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:09,980
Why, you ignoramus. I won't sleep with
you because I hate you. You hate me? I
125
00:32:09,980 --> 00:32:10,980
hate you.
126
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,220
You got your head so far up your ass,
you're becoming a brunette.
127
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,600
Do you know what the difference is
between you and a complete moron? No.
128
00:32:19,060 --> 00:32:20,200
Ten letters.
129
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,440
angry. Oh, I hate you so much!
130
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:30,260
You hate me so much? You are the most
inept, inane, superficial... Will you
131
00:32:30,260 --> 00:32:31,320
speak English?
132
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:36,680
I hate you with every bone in my body.
You make my skin crawl.
133
00:32:36,980 --> 00:32:37,980
You thicken me.
134
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,560
Are you as turned on as I am? More.
135
00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:34,900
I'll take it just like that.
136
00:53:44,270 --> 00:53:45,109
Oh, shit.
137
00:53:45,110 --> 00:53:50,690
Oh, yeah.
138
00:53:53,150 --> 00:53:54,150
Oh,
139
00:53:55,550 --> 00:54:00,310
that's fucking good. Oh,
140
00:54:00,310 --> 00:54:04,710
shit. Oh,
141
00:54:05,910 --> 00:54:06,990
shit.
142
00:54:13,290 --> 00:54:16,330
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Fuck.
143
00:57:40,020 --> 00:57:42,820
Oh, shit.
144
00:57:43,260 --> 00:57:49,300
Oh, shit.
145
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:07,120
It's so fucking good.
146
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:08,520
Holy shit.
147
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:04,198
Oh, God damn.
148
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:05,460
Oh, yeah, I'm close.
149
00:59:06,020 --> 00:59:07,020
I'm fucking close.
150
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:06,620
So the tube goes up your ass and the
germ will actually run through the tube
151
01:00:06,620 --> 01:00:07,620
into your ass.
152
01:00:10,900 --> 01:00:11,900
Closing time, you guys.
153
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:15,840
Closing time.
154
01:00:20,380 --> 01:00:21,440
Y 'all have a good night.
155
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:25,640
Never seen them in here before.
156
01:00:26,620 --> 01:00:27,620
She's got a nice ass.
157
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:29,080
Boyfriend looked a little gay, though.
158
01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:30,680
Yeah,
159
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,560
it'd been about three o 'clock. I'd have
been all over that.
160
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:36,880
Good night,
161
01:00:39,820 --> 01:00:41,020
Woody. Good night, Beth.
162
01:00:42,100 --> 01:00:43,780
You too, Bonnie and Wade.
163
01:00:46,260 --> 01:00:47,340
Get out of here!
164
01:00:48,820 --> 01:00:54,500
Looks like it's about that time, Cliff.
165
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:55,840
It wasn't time?
166
01:00:56,020 --> 01:00:58,880
Nope. Time for Vera to speed him before
she hibernates for the winter.
167
01:00:59,580 --> 01:01:00,660
Night, Mr. Peterson.
168
01:01:01,100 --> 01:01:02,100
Night, Woody.
169
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:06,320
Night, Mr. You gonna take that cup with
you?
170
01:01:07,460 --> 01:01:08,780
Too much. We do.
171
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:10,840
Good night.
172
01:01:18,820 --> 01:01:21,700
So, uh, you still think I'm a gorilla?
173
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:23,840
Yes, but a sexy one.
174
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:25,760
I guess I can live with that.
175
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:27,120
Good night, Woody.
176
01:01:27,260 --> 01:01:28,260
Good night, Shaw.
177
01:01:28,620 --> 01:01:29,620
Good night.
178
01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:32,600
Remember, condoms and seatbelts to be
safe.
179
01:01:53,799 --> 01:01:55,020
You must be Melanie.
180
01:01:55,980 --> 01:01:59,220
Actually, Melanie couldn't make it. She
asked me if I'd like to come meet you.
181
01:01:59,780 --> 01:02:00,780
What did you say?
182
01:02:03,780 --> 01:02:05,600
here, so I said yes.
183
01:02:05,820 --> 01:02:06,880
Well, that's fantastic.
184
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:08,540
It's nice to meet you.
185
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,820
We have dinner reservations at 10.
186
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:12,040
Do you like whack -a -mole?
187
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:16,720
No.
188
01:02:17,020 --> 01:02:21,420
I was thinking I'd like to play whack -a
-woody.
189
01:02:23,180 --> 01:02:24,800
Well, what about skee -ball?
190
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:32,320
How about we stay here and get to know
each other a little more intimately?
191
01:02:34,390 --> 01:02:36,590
Okay. I'll go first.
192
01:02:37,490 --> 01:02:39,150
Okay. I'm from Indiana.
193
01:02:39,390 --> 01:02:43,810
I live on a big farm. I have a hilarious
cow named Giggles.
194
01:02:44,650 --> 01:02:46,950
It's the first stand -up comic in
Indiana.
195
01:02:49,610 --> 01:02:51,190
That's not what I meant.
196
01:02:53,110 --> 01:02:54,870
Oh? No.
197
01:02:55,530 --> 01:02:58,010
I'll explain it to you a little more
slowly.
198
01:02:58,870 --> 01:03:00,910
Do you like these?
199
01:03:01,790 --> 01:03:02,810
They're pretty good.
200
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:08,680
You get to know them a little more
intimately.
201
01:03:08,980 --> 01:03:10,140
Are you serious?
202
01:03:15,060 --> 01:03:15,660
We're
203
01:03:15,660 --> 01:03:23,140
really
204
01:03:23,140 --> 01:03:24,140
doing this?
205
01:04:19,970 --> 01:04:25,050
That's what you meant.
206
01:04:49,390 --> 01:04:50,390
Thank you.
207
01:06:41,020 --> 01:06:42,760
Oh, come on, baby.
208
01:06:45,100 --> 01:06:46,140
Thank you. Thank you.
209
01:08:03,850 --> 01:08:04,850
That's it.
210
01:08:58,189 --> 01:09:01,109
God damn it. Actually...
211
01:10:29,480 --> 01:10:30,960
Listen to me.
212
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:32,580
I'm pointing at you.
213
01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:08,780
Oh, there we go.
214
01:11:09,180 --> 01:11:10,180
Oh, yeah.
215
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:12,880
Oh, yeah. You like my titties? Yeah.
216
01:11:13,260 --> 01:11:16,540
Yeah. Oh, that's it. Oh, fuck yeah.
That's it. Fucking fuck.
217
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:17,699
That's it.
218
01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:18,700
Oh,
219
01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:20,200
yeah.
220
01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:22,400
You look so good.
221
01:11:22,420 --> 01:11:24,220
You know what I like when it comes out.
222
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:27,719
Mm -hmm.
223
01:11:27,720 --> 01:11:28,720
Oh, come on.
224
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:30,940
Oh, fuck that little fucking pussy.
225
01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:33,080
Yeah, that's it. Right there.
226
01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:34,259
Mm -hmm.
227
01:11:34,260 --> 01:11:35,720
Yeah, come on, baby. Come on. You're
good.
228
01:11:36,100 --> 01:11:37,100
Yeah.
229
01:12:16,910 --> 01:12:18,930
Fucking pussy, stick it back in there so
you can take it out.
230
01:12:19,310 --> 01:12:20,310
Take it out.
231
01:12:20,430 --> 01:12:21,710
Oh, fuck you.
232
01:12:22,210 --> 01:12:25,430
Oh my God, that shit looks so good,
baby.
233
01:12:26,050 --> 01:12:27,050
Oh my God.
234
01:12:27,150 --> 01:12:30,970
Oh my God, that cute little fucking
pussy waiting for your fucking big cock.
235
01:12:31,270 --> 01:12:32,270
Can you see that?
236
01:12:32,570 --> 01:12:34,970
Oh, you see that whole? Okay, come on,
come fucking.
237
01:12:35,370 --> 01:12:38,490
Come on, let's play a little fucking
game. Hide the fucking salami bitch.
238
01:12:38,490 --> 01:12:41,170
on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there.
239
01:13:00,460 --> 01:13:01,460
I'm glad you're making that pussy.
240
01:13:01,720 --> 01:13:04,920
Yeah, I saw that blood rushing down
there because it's so fucking hot for
241
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:05,920
blood. Pussy? Yeah.
242
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:09,320
Oh, yeah, that's better.
243
01:13:41,770 --> 01:13:44,510
This poor pussy just wants your cock.
This poor pussy.
244
01:13:44,750 --> 01:13:51,190
Yeah. This shit makes you rich. Yeah,
nice and rich with your big fucking
245
01:15:22,380 --> 01:15:23,720
He fucked that little pussy.
246
01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:24,960
Yeah.
247
01:17:44,080 --> 01:17:45,080
Oh, baby.
248
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:48,240
You like that?
249
01:17:48,560 --> 01:17:51,340
You like that? Turn around. Come on.
250
01:17:54,640 --> 01:17:55,860
Come on.
251
01:17:56,420 --> 01:17:57,420
Stick it in there.
252
01:19:49,640 --> 01:19:50,640
Titties.
253
01:20:37,100 --> 01:20:39,900
I don't
254
01:20:39,900 --> 01:20:44,624
know.
255
01:21:02,830 --> 01:21:03,830
fucking load.
256
01:21:40,430 --> 01:21:41,430
Oh my God.
257
01:22:42,690 --> 01:22:44,230
Geez, that was great.
258
01:22:45,770 --> 01:22:48,510
Yeah, you farm boys really know how to
roll around in the hay.
259
01:22:50,190 --> 01:22:51,129
You know?
260
01:22:51,130 --> 01:22:52,630
I don't think I caught your name.
261
01:22:56,530 --> 01:22:57,710
I'm Rebecca Howe.
262
01:22:58,730 --> 01:23:00,530
Who did I talk to about buying this
place?
16772
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