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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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Good evening.
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Argh!
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Argh! Ah!
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I trained at RADA.
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What have I created?!
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So sorry.
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How we laughed.
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Ahh!
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Huh?
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Hello!
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Hello, everyone!
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I'm Greg Davies, and I would
like to welcome you to
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the Taskmaster grand final!
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00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:56,160
This is where we finally sort
the wheat from the chaff,
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the culmination of ten weeks of
fundamentally pointless activity
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pops its cork right here, right now.
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At the end of this episode,
one of our fearless five
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will be able to hold aloft
my gilded dome
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and scream like a feral wolf
into the night sky,
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"My parents may well have
thought my chosen career path
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"was disappointing,
given the opportunities
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"I was afforded in life!
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"But no-one, no-one can
take this from me!"
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Please give them a huge round of
applause for the final time,
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they are Julian Clary...
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..Lucy Beaumont...
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..Sam Campbell...
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..Sue Perkins...
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..and Susan Wokoma!
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And now, for a man
who once confided in me that
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he considered Welsh people to
only be suited to menial work...
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..it's little Alex Hooorne!
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Not all, not all. Some. Most.
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Hello. Ahh!
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Hello, there. Oh, I'm so excited,
it's the live final.
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Oh, it is, are you excited? Yes.
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Yeah, well, I am, cos it's live
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the first-ever live edition
of Taskmaster.
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Anything could happen. OK.
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Cos we're live on Channel 4!
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Yeah, we're not live. Whoo!
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We're live, look.
Look at the watch, just after 9pm.
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So, it must be live.
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Yeah, you've changed
your watch, yeah.
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You can't change a watch Greg!
Oh, man.
47
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Look I'll send a tweet right now.
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Oh, so look at your phones.
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They'll have just got that.
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If you're watching the show,
go to your windows
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and I want you to shout...
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.."What's the weather like?"
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Mild. It's mild!
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It's mild!
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How would I know it's mild?
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Yeah, God, it doesn't sound like
two people planted in
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the same room as us.
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Right, it's time to find out what
the final prize task category is.
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The final category is the thing
that, when you turn it round,
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gives you the biggest shock.
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Thank you.
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5 points for the most shocking
thing when turned around and,
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at the end of the show, the overall
winner will take them all home.
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What a shocking turnaround!
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That's comedy. Sue!
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Erm, what's the thing
that you've brought in that,
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when you turn around,
will give me a shock?
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Well, let's see the thing from,
er, the first position.
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Pre-turn around. Pre-turn around.
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All right. Uh-oh.
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Let's turn it round,
what could be there?
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Er, here we go.
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Not a penis. Wow.
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Why are you smooth from the back?
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I do sort of rub, I guess,
I rub...I rub around a bit.
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I-I rub mo-more on the back
than the front.
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Fidgeting will otter a man down.
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Sam. Yes. You all right?
I'm good.
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Have you done something
different with your...?
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It was all a bit grey.
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Yeah.
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Erm, what thing have you brought in
that, when you turn it around,
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will shock me? A baby.
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OK, so here's the baby
from the back.
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Oh, God. Look at it. Yeah.
Look at it.
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Aww! No way!
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You can't be serious!
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Jesus Christ.
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I mean, I'm not that shocked
because I knew it would be
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something like that. Susan.
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Er, my prize is
some vanilla ice cream.
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And I actually have it here
for you, Greg. OK.
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Is it something horrible, though?
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Erm...
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Hmm. If it's made out of
human breast milk...
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Now, would you turn the label round?
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Yeah, and that's the ingredients.
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Yeah, a mixture of anal secretions
and urine of beavers.
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00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,360
Yeah, it's a standard ingredient in
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vanilla ice cream castoreum.
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Are you serious? I'm serious.
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They've all got beaver piss in them?
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00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,720
Not all of them,
but that one, yes. Oh, yuck.
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00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,560
It's normally categorised
under "natural ingredients,"
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so you won't know that you're
sucking on some secretion of beaver.
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Well, where are all these beavers?
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OK.
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Yeah, that's, er, genuinely
horrific, thank you.
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Julian, what have you brought in?
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It's an urn containing the, erm,
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ashes of a friend of mine.
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It's a first for the show.
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So, here's the urn from the front.
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Turn the urn!
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So, let me explain. Please!
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I was on tour in Norwich,
and I saw this in a shop window
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and I really liked it.
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So, I bought it, and then,
a week later, my friend died.
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And that was his favourite word,
and this was his favourite programme
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so I thought he'd love to
appear on this show.
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Aww!
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Well, you're clearly going to win.
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Because the idea that you might -
genuinely might make me feel moved
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with an urn that's got "shit"
written on it...
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00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,960
You're doing very well Julian.
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Hi, Lucy.
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Erm...it's a lamp.
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So, my daughter had her hair braid,
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and then, it sparked a memory.
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My mum was at our house, and I said
"Oh, I used to have one of them,"
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cos like I untaffled my daughter's
when she didn't want it in,
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and I said. Er...
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Untaffled? Fairly sure
"untaffled" isn't a word.
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What? Untaffled?
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Are you joking me?
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"Your search did not
match any documents.
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"Did you mean unruffled, unmuffled,
unravelled or unbaffled?"
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No! OK.
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I tell you what, there'll be people
screaming at the TV now.
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No. Well, we can listen.
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Fuck 'em.
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Fair play to the boy.
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OK, you were untaffling a thing?
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So, I untaffled it, but my mum -
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I said, "You just cut mine
out of my hair,"
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and she said, "Yeah, I know."
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And she said, "I've still got it.
Have you never noticed?
148
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:18,520
"It's the light pulley for
the downstairs toilet."
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Yeah, and it's on this
lamp here now.
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But has it shocked you?
151
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Yeah, I don't know why I
find it so unsettling.
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Jesus Christ.
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Do you need a second,
or you all right?
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Well, we're live, aren't we?
So I should... Yeah.
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..speed through it if I can.
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Honestly, I knew it was going
to be his horrible bottom.
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1 point to Sue Perkins.
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I mean, I am shocked by Sam's baby,
but I'm not shocked -
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because Sam's brought something
like that in every week.
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OK, so 2 points to Sam.
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I'll give 3 points to Susan,
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4 points, inexplicably, for
that braid - it's unsettled me.
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And 5 points because
he pulled a sweet story out of
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one of the darkest things ever
to appear on the show.
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Julian Clary gets 5 points!
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Well done, Julian.
167
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,960
OK, what's next, Alex?
168
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OK, well, we're sticking with
the shocking theme, Greg,
169
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,600
and combining it with one
of your five-a-day.
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00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,680
Hello. Hello, Julian.
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I like a sitting-down task.
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Oh, wow.
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00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,440
I love doughnuts.
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"Do something shocking...
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"..but family-friendly
with this doughnut.
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"Do something shocking, but
family-friendly with this doughnut."
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Oh, cos I mean, obviously,
you would want to put it on
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a penis, wouldn't you?
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"Most shocking doughnut deed wins.
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"You've got 15 minutes."
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00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,000
Right. And what did your time do?
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00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,960
Oh, yes. "The time starts now."
Erm... Thank you.
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Yeah.
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Nothing going through my head
is family-friendly.
185
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Oh, really? Not one idea.
186
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,520
Well, I...what if I like tried
to marry it or something, like,
187
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,440
just, you know, just like,
that's crazy?
188
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,960
What would my child find shocking?
189
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,320
Anything to do with faeces,
she finds shocking.
190
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,440
Can't do that,
put a poo through it?
191
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,120
No, like, every single
thing is filthy.
192
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,200
No, that's filthy,
that's filthy...
193
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,640
..that's filthy.
194
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,920
Had it been a jam doughnut,
then there could've been
195
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,320
all kinds of, you know,
slight filth.
196
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,000
I've thought of something.
197
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,920
Is it family-friendly?
198
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,480
Well, my family wouldn't mind.
199
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,600
I think Lucy spoke for the nation,
really, by voicing the first thing
200
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,000
that we all think of,
which is to pop it on a penis.
201
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,480
Yeah. We agree on that,
but I'm intrigued, Susan,
202
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:01,120
that you thought of at least three
more filthy things internally.
203
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,880
Yeah. Do you want to
share any of them?
204
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,920
Ah, really? Just one.
205
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,840
Erm, bite it apart, and then,
206
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,480
shove the rest up your arse.
207
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,160
Wokoma.
208
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,280
That's the number-two
thing you go to?
209
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,440
OK, thanks, Susan.
Yeah, of course, let's crack on.
210
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:25,160
OK, we're going to begin
with Lucy and Sam.
211
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,480
What do you find more shocking
and saucy out of these two?
212
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,320
It's gotta be red.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
213
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,640
Are you hungry, baby bird?
214
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,680
Yes, I am quite hungry, actually.
215
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,600
Ohh!
216
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,240
I'll go and get you
something to eat. OK.
217
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,880
How does that grab you?
218
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,600
I'm quite excited. Really?
219
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,560
I know you're a married man,
but, er...
220
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,240
Mm!
221
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,000
Mm!
222
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,800
Oh, Horne-dog!
223
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,520
Wow.
224
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,840
Here you go, little baby.
225
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,960
Here's a little breakfast.
Do you like it?
226
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,360
Is it nice?
227
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,000
Want some more? OK, here you go.
228
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,760
Oh! Good boy!
229
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,040
Ohh!
230
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,640
Oh.
231
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:22,840
She's very high up.
232
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,920
Close to the heavens.
233
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,960
You finished?
234
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,720
Let's go back inside.
235
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,600
Oh...my God.
236
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,440
We all knew, as soon as you
came out as a bird,
237
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,200
I went, "Oh, no."
238
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,720
Because, if you ask Alex to eat
anything, he always says yes.
239
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,160
We were at a wedding together once,
240
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,040
and I made him eat
a whole pat of butter.
241
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,680
He's weird, he just went, "Yeah."
242
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,160
I'm not the one who gobbled
a beaver's anal gland.
243
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,080
Genuinely absolutely disgusting.
244
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,360
But that's nature, I mean,
Richard Attenborough wouldn't find.
245
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:28,240
David. David, sorry.
246
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:35,720
Sam, I don't know...
247
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,800
Yeah, it's not really that
complicated, so I created a small,
248
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,640
bikini-clad doughnut just...
I know that.
249
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,400
Kind of, I guess, a femme fatale.
Yeah.
250
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,360
And she was feasted upon
by this bird.
251
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,080
But we can't give you credit
for the bird that happened
252
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,680
to come along. That was nature.
253
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,040
It was part of his plan.
254
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,280
We're not allowed
to work with nature?
255
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,640
Would you say to David Attenborough,
256
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:01,560
"Yeah, pretty good documentary
but he had all those foxes?
257
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:05,000
"Oh, it was all right!
The dolphins, where'd you get them?"
258
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,000
OK, new rule -
if you cooked tonight,
259
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,000
someone else makes the teas.
260
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,840
If you went to work today,
someone else makes the teas.
261
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,560
I'm saying if you're a child
who gets to go to school and
262
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,040
talk about TikTok and
Taylor Swift, or whatever,
263
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,320
you make the bloody teas!
264
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,680
They're parasites!
265
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,360
Children are parasites!
266
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,080
Hello!
267
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,880
It is part two of our grand final,
268
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,840
and we're in a state of
shock and awe.
269
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,400
See, he's absolutely right.
270
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,040
Yes, the finalists are all
trying to do the most shocking,
271
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,320
yet family-friendly thing
with a doughnut.
272
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,600
And next, it's Sue Perkins.
273
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,800
Prepare to face
the Doughnut of Doom!
274
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,840
Excuse the, er, American spelling.
275
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,200
Are you ready?
276
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:24,800
Shocking!
277
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,000
OK, this is it.
278
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,120
Listen, I know some element of
the surprise has gone now...
279
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,920
You've got four minutes left, Sue.
280
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,120
We'll do it.
281
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,120
Yeah!
282
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,080
Well, I think that the studio
audience should have a good,
283
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:14,240
long think about what
they just cheered then.
284
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:18,680
It might be the least-shocking
thing I've ever seen.
285
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,320
The shocking thing is I actually
managed to hit him once.
286
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,320
Who's next, please?
287
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,160
Well, here are Julian and Susan.
288
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,360
OK.
289
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,800
Could you come over here, please?
Right, yes, of course.
290
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,680
I'd like you to kneel down here.
291
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:34,720
Right.
292
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,440
Coffee? Mm-hm.
293
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,720
Uh-oh. Chilli sauce?
294
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,760
Ah, ketchup. MMM!
295
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,760
It's all in, is it? Hmm.
296
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,400
Good luck. Mm-hm!
297
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,920
Close your eyes.
298
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,480
Family-friendly?
299
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,320
I'd probably encourage people not
to do it too often at home.
300
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,640
OK. Yeah, thanks, Julian.
301
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,280
Good luck to you and your family.
302
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,560
Susan, it's a first,
congratulations.
303
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,080
You made me retch on Taskmaster.
I actually gipped.
304
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:52,600
We were all expecting there to be
a point to it, but no. No.
305
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,560
I was there, and things were
coming out that hadn't gone in.
306
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,760
But I'm telling you, the look on
everybody's faces was, like,
307
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,400
the high point of Taskmaster,
for me, as I did that.
308
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,520
Write that down, that's the thing
she's enjoyed most.
309
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,640
Erm, Julian,
I was not expecting that.
310
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,880
No, I wasn't really knowing if
I would follow through, as it were.
311
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,240
But, once I'd started,
he was going to get it.
312
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,960
All right, here's some points.
313
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,480
Guess who only gets 1 point?
314
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,560
Give it to me, Uncle Greg!
315
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,360
1 point to Sue.
316
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,880
I don't know, Sam.
317
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,160
Come on, Gruncle.
318
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,360
Just give him 3 points. 3 to Sam.
319
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:43,040
Erm, I think that both Susan and
Julian are disgusting.
320
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:47,400
I'm giving them 4 points, but if
a woman regurgitates a doughnut
321
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,760
into a man's mouth, she takes
5 points on this show. Always.
322
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,840
Lucy Beaumont!
323
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,240
OK. Can I have a score board,
please? Oh, dear.
324
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,920
You can. Julian and Lucy
both have 9 points.
325
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,320
Ooh!
326
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,280
Right, on with the next!
327
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,040
Yes, sir, and it's time for PE.
328
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,560
There you are.
329
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,080
What could it be? I thought
we were going to be trampolining,
330
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,880
but that was wrong, wasn't it?
I'm sorry, you're not trampolining.
331
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,400
It's very good for your liver.
332
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:37,160
Is it? Yes, shakes it all up,
gets the toxins out.
333
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,400
Oh, for goodness' sake.
334
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,240
"Demonstrate the most
effective high-intensity
335
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,640
"four-part exercise routine.
336
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,160
"Each of your four exercises
must be original,
337
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,120
"and must take place on this mat.
338
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,800
"The first must last eight seconds.
339
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,480
"The second, four.
340
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,200
"The third, two, and fourth,
one-second long.
341
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,720
"Also, each move must start
with a 'whoops,'
342
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,200
"and 'yeah' is how it ends.
343
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,480
"Each move must start with a 'yeah',
344
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,520
"and end with a scream.
345
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:12,920
"Must start with a scream
and end with a gasp.
346
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,960
"Must start with a gasp and
end with an 'ahhh'.
347
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,800
"Must start with an 'ahhh'
348
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,720
"and end with a 'whoops'."
349
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,600
I think most things I do, do that.
350
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:27,520
"You've a maximum of 15 minutes.
Your time starts now."
351
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,840
When I think exercise,
I think exorcism.
352
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,840
So, when you think exercise,
you think of a different word?
353
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,720
Yeah.
354
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,720
I'm guessing this is just for fuel,
just a bit of like, "Ahhh."
355
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,560
Yes, hydration. Yeah.
356
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,240
Just because I want to
increase my body temperature,
357
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,720
I think, let's gaffer me up
real good.
358
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,600
So, you've gotta be
speaking in tongues.
359
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,080
Could you give me
a little demonstration of that?
360
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:57,520
OK.
361
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,920
I mean, it's got to the stage now,
Sam, where I'm not even
362
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,560
surprised any more.
363
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,200
We know each other.
364
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,680
We-We do know each other, yeah.
365
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,120
Erm, do you know what phrase
I want to take us into the break?
366
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,920
It's "gaffer me up...
367
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,320
"..real good."
368
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:35,640
Hello! Welcome back to our final.
369
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,520
I think it's about time we had
a decent workout, Alex.
370
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,880
Yes, time to see
their exercise routines.
371
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,640
Let's go to the gym!
372
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,000
Ahhh!
373
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,200
May the power of Christ compel you.
374
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,240
Ahhh.
375
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:12,920
Whoops!
376
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,760
Thank you for the hydration.
377
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,560
Yeah!
378
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,400
Ahhh. Ahhh!
379
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,960
May the power of Christ compel you.
380
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,480
Ahhh.
381
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,040
Whoops!
382
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,440
Yeah!
383
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:00,840
Ahhh!
384
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,080
May the power of Christ compel you.
385
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:07,400
Ahhh.
386
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000
Whoops!
387
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,040
Yeah!
388
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,840
Ahhh!
389
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,840
May the power of Christ
compel you. Ahhh.
390
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,800
Whoops!
391
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,160
Yeah!
392
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,600
Ahhh!
393
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,560
Sue, I think you only did
one exercise.
394
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,480
Let me tell you what was going
on there, all right? Yeah.
395
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:43,640
Hot yoga, it's a thing.
396
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,080
Is that why you gaffered yourself up
real good, for hot yoga reasons?
397
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:50,400
Of course!
My kid-erneys were on fire.
398
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,000
Kid-erney!
399
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,600
Wow! You were so over-hot,
you started pronouncing
400
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,560
the name of organs incorrectly.
Kidneys.
401
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,600
No, you can say that to my liv-eur.
402
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,560
Lucy, what exercises were
there within yours?
403
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,480
Erm, there was head-butt ball.
404
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,960
You did call it "head-butt ball",
yeah. Head intensity...
405
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,560
Yes, you reminded me of one
of those birds from the '70s.
406
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,880
What, like, that go on
Top Of The Pops?
407
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,440
Yeah, on Top Of The Pops.
408
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,480
Susan, you lost me a little bit
when you were rolling those
409
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,080
little dumb bells on the floor.
410
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,280
Ah, no, and that does
look deceptive,
411
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,880
but it's to help get hench,
er, wrists...
412
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,520
..so I get nice and thick.
413
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,720
Julian, my observation is
none of them involved
414
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,240
you doing very much work.
415
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,000
Oh, no, there was pelvic floor.
Mm-hm.
416
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,080
Do you want me to tell you what
you called them? Yes.
417
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:44,280
Well, the first,
you called it "Stirrups".
418
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,680
The third was called
"The Flying Homosexual".
419
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,920
The fourth was called
"Horsey Hamstrings".
420
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,800
Remember what the second was called?
The one where you were punching me
421
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,560
with your feet? "Punch the BLEEP."
422
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,280
And, to the eternal quandary.
423
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,520
What I'll need you to do is
424
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:14,720
to justify how you exorcising
Alex exercised you.
425
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,600
We had to get rid of his da-hemons.
426
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,440
Well, we did flip it round,
the last two, I was exorcising him.
427
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,880
He was upside down in the last one.
Oh, yeah.
428
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,480
Right, I'll just score them.
429
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:32,960
I can't separate Sue, Susan,
and Lucy, I don't think.
430
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,880
I don't think I deserve that many.
431
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,160
Oh, right, great.
432
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,120
So, if I give Lucy 2 points,
433
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,360
I'll give the Susans 3.
434
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,840
I think there was a variety
in the weird exorcism,
435
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,640
I'm going to give him 4 points.
436
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,400
But Julian, I think there were
four distinct exercises. Wow.
437
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:51,440
I'll give him 5 points.
438
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,520
There we go,
5 points to Julian Clary!
439
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,640
Do we have something special
lined up for our last task, Alex?
440
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,200
Oh, we certainly do, Greg!
441
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,160
And for the very first time,
I'd like to welcome everybody
442
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,960
to the Taskmaster Hotel.
443
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,080
Oh.
444
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,000
"Sue, Susan" -
shall we put these on?
445
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:32,720
Yeah. Go on, then.
446
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,000
Get confused. OK.
447
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,280
Alex isn't here.
448
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:38,480
Or is he?
449
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,960
Oh, there are keys!
It's very exciting.
450
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,400
I've got some reservations.
Oh, we're busy.
451
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:48,880
Brian O'Yoghurt is in room one
which is good, that's good. So...
452
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,640
Do you want to read the...?
453
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:51,840
Do you want me to? Yeah.
454
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,200
"Give your guest the best service.
..Best service.
455
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,200
"He has 30 minutes.
456
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,040
"His time starts now!"
457
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,000
"HIS time starts now."
Who's our guest?
458
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,120
Shall we go find Alex?
Shall we go find a mannequin.
459
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,680
Guest! Is he going to come in?
460
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:06,720
Normally they...
461
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:09,920
Ah, good evening.
462
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,080
Hi, can I check in, please.
463
00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:13,240
Bonjour! Hello.
464
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,400
Bienvenu, er, Hotel Taskmaster!
465
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,600
Erm, I know what you two
are going to be like,
466
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:27,240
playing together as hotel managers
is right up your street.
467
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:31,000
I wouldn't be surprised
if you opened a B&B, honestly.
468
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:35,120
And the other group, I imagine
it's a case of Uncle Julian
469
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,360
managing the two lunatics.
470
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:43,840
OK, so first up, let's see how Susan
and Sue do at being hoteliers.
471
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,840
I've booked a room. Yes.
So, if I could check in,
472
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,240
that'd be great. Yeah.
473
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:48,640
Are you Mr Brian O'Yoghurt?
474
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,440
Why do you think
I'm Mr Brian O'Yoghurt?
475
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,720
Well, I-I don't think that,
but we just had a, we...
476
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,000
It's our mistake, sir.
What is your name, sir? Qrs.
477
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,120
Chris. What's your surname?
Tuvwxyz.
478
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,000
OK, how do you spell that.
479
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,720
Tuvwxyz.
480
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:05,120
How do you spell Chris? Qrs.
481
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,240
Oh, no, we have it here.
Here we go. Room 13.
482
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,320
Room 13!
483
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:11,840
OK!
484
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,680
And here is your room!
Room 13. Great. There we go,
485
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,640
we'll just bring your bags in,
as well. Lovely.
486
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,120
Thank you very much, thanks.
All right, then, sir take care.
487
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,040
Thank you so much, thank you.
All right, OK.
488
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,960
You've worked in the hospitality
industry. I have! Yeah.
489
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Extraordinary.
490
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,400
I think he's going to ring us,
that's what I think.
491
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,920
Check, check, check this -
these are different rooms, right?
492
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,640
These are different rooms. Yeah.
493
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,240
Shall we ring and see if he's OK?
494
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,200
No, that's oppressive. No, no, no.
495
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,040
Well done.
496
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,120
Hello, Taskmaster Hotel.
Sue speaking.
497
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,640
Oh, hello, Sue, it's Qrs Tuvwxyz,
in Room 13.
498
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,200
I was hoping to order some room
service, if that's all right.
499
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,840
Absolutely. Have you got the menu?
Do you know what you'd like?
500
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,520
Yes, a hot cucumber sandwich
and a, er, glass of milk.
501
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,040
Thank you. Bye-bye.
502
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,520
"Cucumber served between
two warm slices of bread."
503
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:58,280
Bung, two of those in there.
OK got you, got you, got you.
504
00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,760
Do you think he'd like butter?
505
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:03,440
Oh. Hi.
506
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,760
Hello, Taskmaster Hotel,
how may I help you?
507
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,960
When I booked, I asked for
a room with a view,
508
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,480
and all I can see is a hedge.
509
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:12,440
I would love a-a better room.
510
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,360
I can double-check and see
whether Room 20 is free,
511
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,240
that's a much nicer view, I think.
512
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,200
Well, that would've been nice
to have been in that to begin with,
513
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,000
if I'm honest.
I'm ever so sorry sir. OK.
514
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,680
Yeah, I have been waiting for quite
some times for the food, so....
515
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,200
I deeply apologise.
We will be with you shortly.
516
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,760
Bye-bye.
517
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,720
I prefer Alex. OK.
518
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,240
Hello, sir!
Do you mind if I come in?
519
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,480
Thank you.
Thank you for granting me...
520
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,400
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
521
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,000
Yes, if you wouldn't mind
bringing the bags through.
522
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,720
Er, your hot cucumber sandwich,
Mr Tuvwxyz.
523
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,720
Are you a cutlery salesman,
Mr Tuvwxyz?
524
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:50,600
Yes, I've got a meeting
in 21 minutes. OK.
525
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:54,640
Was the room not to your liking?
No, have you not seen the view?
526
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,680
Why does he have
so many forks?!
527
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,360
Sue, is it? Yes, it is.
Thank you so much. Thanks, Sue.
528
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:04,600
Where's my milk?
529
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:14,360
Taskmaster Hotel.
530
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,560
It's so dry. I didn't get my milk.
531
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,680
Oh, I'm so sorry,
I'm so very sorry, sorry.
532
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,920
Let me bring that immediately.
533
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,080
Everything OK, Sue?
534
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,520
Yeah, I've gotta give him his milk,
which I'll go and do now. Milk, OK.
535
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,400
Running a business is bullshit.
536
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,040
Do you want to...? Oh, thanks love.
537
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,240
Oh, OK.
538
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,480
I think it says a lot about us,
the fact that we've done
539
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,480
seven minutes... Hello, sir!
Oh, sir! Wonderful to see you.
540
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,200
I've got some laundry, because
I've got a meeting in 15 minutes,
541
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,240
I need to wear that outfit.
Fabulous. Thank you. Wonderful.
542
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,720
Erm, Susan, there might be
a problem here.
543
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,760
Oh, God. Right.
544
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,400
Hello? Sue, I would love to book
a spa session, if that's possible.
545
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,640
Wonderful, wonderful.
546
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,400
Just relax, just relax. Yeah.
547
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,120
Any particular products
that you use?
548
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,080
I-I'm allergic. I'm a...hmm.
549
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,040
Er, lot of...water in my eyes,
more than anything, yeah.
550
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,920
Sorry. Let's just sort that.
551
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,880
What is that?
552
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,520
What is that sound?
553
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:13,840
Oh, my God! What's going on?
554
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,040
Why is there smoke?
555
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,600
I was just going to put a wash on!
556
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,560
And can I ask what
the meeting's about?
557
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,920
It's forks and marbles,
always forks and marbles.
558
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,520
We evacuate everyone, I guess.
559
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,440
Oh, yeah, it's in the back here,
isn't it?
560
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,360
Oh, yeah.
Nine minutes till my meeting, Sue.
561
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,720
"Press the nearest..."
562
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,200
Fire alarm!
563
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,680
If you'd like to just follow me,
sir, we'll just go
564
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,120
to the assembly point. All right.
565
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,440
I have a meeting in seven minutes,
I do need to be dressed. Yes.
566
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,720
Hello, Taskmaster Hotel,
how may I help you?
567
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,480
Hello, it's Qrs Tuvwxyz in Room 20.
568
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,200
I would love another glass of milk
and a bedtime story.
569
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,360
Hello? Hello!
570
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,240
You get him the milk and story.
571
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,640
But you... No, don't worry.
Oh, my God!
572
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,240
I don't have any bedding.
573
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:59,040
Oh, I was just speaking to your
colleague, I don't have any bedding.
574
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,400
What does he mean? Why did he
just figure that out now?!
575
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,920
"Once upon a time,
there was a very big bear."
576
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,480
"I don't have bedding."
577
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,240
Thank you, I'd love my clothes now.
578
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,040
It's proving quite difficult.
I do have an alternative.
579
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,400
Would you like this?
Well, I need to wear dungarees.
580
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:16,880
Well, this is dungarees.
581
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,520
Er, these are freshly-laundered.
They're warm still.
582
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,680
Customer satisfaction every time.
Brought the phone with me.
583
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:27,640
Oh, sir. Oh! Wonderful.
584
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,320
And if I may say, a perfect
accompaniment to a forks
585
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:31,680
and marbles conferences.
586
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,680
Can we help you out
with these bags?
587
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,240
No, no, I'll be fine from here,
thank you so much for having me.
588
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,520
We'll send on your dungarees.
OK. Thank you both.
589
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,960
Take care! Bye.
Thank you, bye-bye. Bye-bye.
590
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,160
Well, the first
Taskmaster Hotel is a hit.
591
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,440
Erm, what did you both think
of Mr Tuvwxyz?
592
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:56,880
Tuvwxyz. Tuvwxyz?
593
00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,160
Demanding tool, I thought.
594
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,640
Did you think that you were
professional when you
595
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,760
discovered what Mr... Tuvwxyz...
..did for his living?
596
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,160
What, the - just forks and marbles?
597
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,640
I-I've spent ten episodes
watching you laugh,
598
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,240
and I have never heard you
laugh like this.
599
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,840
"Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
600
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,680
"Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
601
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:24,040
But that was a real third-eye moment
looking at what I was doing,
602
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:27,200
and there was just a suitcase
with forks and marbles,
603
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:30,920
and I've never seen forks and
marbles together... Me neither.
604
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,200
..ever in my life! So many.
605
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:34,760
It was just...
606
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,400
I just got
so overwhelmed...
607
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,200
..and I didn't know
what I was doing!
608
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:47,000
You know, I tipped Sue throughout,
and not Susan, but Sue split
609
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,560
all the tips with Susan,
they were an amazing team.
610
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,760
Aww!
Absolutely sickening!
611
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,120
That hotel is going to get opened.
612
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,440
"Ooh-hoo-hoo."
613
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:57,840
A potential name!
614
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,240
All right. Ah-hoo-hoo.
615
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,600
Time for the last ad break
of the series.
616
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,480
Soon, we will crown
our mighty new champion.
617
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,640
Also, someone will take home
the melted anal glands of a beaver.
618
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,400
Win! Win! Win!
619
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,840
Welcome to the final part
of the grand final!
620
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,000
Alex, what's the latest from
the Taskmaster Hotel?
621
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,480
Well, Greg, Qrs Tuvwxyz informs me
he had quite an acceptable stay
622
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,400
at the Taskmaster Hotel while
the Sues were in charge.
623
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,680
But now, he's heading back,
and it's under new management,
624
00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:40,160
with Sam, Julian, and Lucy
running the joint.
625
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:42,720
Can I check in please?
626
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,080
Yes, certainly. Yes, yes.
627
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,680
Great. This is, er, complimentary.
628
00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:49,440
Really?
629
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:50,960
Fine, what room am I in?
630
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,920
Erm, what's your favourite number?
631
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,160
Well, is that how it works?
632
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,520
There you are, Room 13.
633
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:57,880
And where is Room 13?
634
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,320
Room 13, is just this...this way.
635
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,080
Is it not? Wait.
636
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,320
Does it have it in your
information booklet?
637
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,480
Is there any information
about Room 13?
638
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,720
You don't know where
Room 13 is, do you?
639
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,760
Couldn't tell you.
640
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,360
Wouldn't be outside, would it?
641
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,720
I think I've found it.
Oh, great, I'd love to check in.
642
00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:21,560
There you are. There we...
643
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,640
OK, I'd love to have a bit of
alone-time, thank you.
644
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,880
I offer a service, sir,
where I sit by this window
645
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,920
and I sing to you, if you want.
No, thank you.
646
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,640
# Sitting by my window
647
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,800
# Looking at birdsong... #
648
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,000
Do you think he's calling reception?
649
00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:44,320
What's up?
650
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,640
It's Qrs Tuvwxyz here, from Room 13.
651
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:47,840
Oh, how are you, man?
652
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,560
I was just wondering if I could
order something from room service,
653
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,440
and I am also looking
out of the window,
654
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,560
and I did request a room
with a view.
655
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,320
He wants a different room. OK.
656
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:57,920
Sir! Ah, hello.
657
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,480
Are you ready to change room?
Yes, I'd love to change rooms.
658
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:01,840
Supposed to be warm bread.
659
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,280
There we go. Shall we just put it
in the microwave?
660
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,160
Just cut those crusts off.
661
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,520
He won't mind fingers, will he?
No.
662
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,480
Are you good with keys?
663
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,280
How do you get this...?
664
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,240
You want me to do my own? Yes.
665
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:21,640
Ah, there's no bedding.
666
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,440
If you need to change rooms,
667
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,360
here's the keys to all
the other rooms.
668
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,560
OK.
669
00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:30,920
Oh, there he is. Hi, Qrs!
670
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:32,240
Here's your milk.
671
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,000
Nice legs.
I don't think that's appropriate.
672
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,920
I'm just going to reception,
is that my bedding?
673
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,200
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
674
00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:43,440
I'll see you at reception.
Great, thank you.
675
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,000
Lovely legs, sir!
676
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,000
Where's the swan?
677
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,240
Hi. Hi.
678
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,640
I've got some laundry.
Some laundry. Yes.
679
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,120
And... Why is your colleague
playing the French horn?
680
00:37:58,160 --> 00:37:59,840
She's French. Right.
681
00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:03,600
Can I ask the lady to not
do that any more?
682
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,480
You don't like this at all, sir?
Not at all. Thank you.
683
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,520
Oh, that's lovely.
684
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,760
Hi! Oh, what are you doing?
What...?
685
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,160
You shouldn't be in my room.
686
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,600
Is he ready for his spa treatment?
687
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,920
You need treatment!
It says "do not disturb".
688
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,840
But you really to come and have
your treatment now, because
689
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:26,280
we're all clocking off soon,
you see? All right.
690
00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:30,320
I like your legs.
691
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,040
Oh, is there a fire?
692
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,760
How awful.
693
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,560
Shall we open the window a bit?
694
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,200
Well, do you need...?
695
00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:44,160
Is someone after you?
696
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:45,800
Are you a white-collar criminal?
697
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,280
I don't think that's the police.
What's going on?
698
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,480
I'm sorry, no, we have to
evacuate, cos there's a fire.
699
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,800
Make your way to the fire assembly
point. OK, where is that?
700
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:57,840
It's just over here. Right.
701
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,800
Why are you holding my arm so tight?
702
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,520
Just, like, stay away here.
703
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,960
Oh, we'll have to do a roll call.
Right.
704
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,560
Er, I'm here. Qrs, are you here?
705
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,520
Put your hand up if you're here.
706
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,600
Right, I'll be fine now,
thank you, guys.
707
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,520
Terrible day we're having.
708
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:17,800
Hello.
709
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:19,760
I need to check out
in three minutes,
710
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,920
I'd like one more glass of milk
and a bedtime story,
711
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:22,960
if that's all right.
712
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,240
Qrs, you haven't got time for
milk if you've gotta leave
713
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,680
in three minutes.
Well, I'd like my milk, please,
714
00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:29,280
and a bedtime story. Thank you.
715
00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:32,840
Yes? Hi! Whoo!
716
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,720
Where do you want your
bedtime story?
717
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,240
Oh, in bed, please, thank you.
718
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,520
And your milk, sir.
That's great.
719
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,680
I-I didn't mean we all get in.
720
00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:42,480
Right, I've literally one minute...
721
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,960
"Once upon a time,
there was a boy called Qrs,
722
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,920
"and he had lovely legs."
723
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,640
Going to check out now.
I-I'd like to check out, please.
724
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,200
Are you sure you don't want a song?
Please get out of my bed.
725
00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:54,800
I'm going to reception.
726
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,120
Qrs!
727
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,240
Hello!
728
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,600
I'd like to check out, please.
How much do I owe?
729
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,600
There's 20, 205...
730
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,160
You're charging me...
Not now, sir, I'm adding up.
731
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,280
That's 385, sir. Is it now?
732
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,680
Hiya. Right, thank you very much.
Thank you.
733
00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:17,880
No, this is... Your bedding, sir.
No, that's your bedding.
734
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,640
Wait, you need some trousers on,
I think. Qrs.
735
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,080
Qrs, you've got a meeting,
you need trousers on.
736
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,440
Come back soon. Don't be a stranger!
737
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:44,320
Well, it's the perfect hotel.
738
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,960
I don't really know where to start -
well, I'll ask the customer.
739
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,400
Hmm. How was your experience?
740
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,240
Hmm, it was turbulent.
741
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,720
Julian charged me £305 for the stay.
742
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,600
I gave him a £20 tip -
he pocketed that.
743
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,840
Afraid I did.
744
00:41:01,240 --> 00:41:03,760
Have you worked in a hotel
in real life, Lucy?
745
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,080
What do you think?
746
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:09,560
I...I think you have worked in some
sort of awful, low-grade motel,
747
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,440
because you've just got
that sort of,
748
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,560
"Well, we're clocking off
in a minute."
749
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:15,680
What about you, Sam?
750
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:18,720
I stayed at a hotel, and I don't
like it when the people
751
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:22,000
who've been in the pool are
in the lift with non-pool people.
752
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,320
Let's have a lift just for
the pool people. Yeah.
753
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,720
I don't want to be in there
with some wet guy.
754
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,600
I want different lifts.
755
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:35,680
And how did you apply that anger
to the hotel you were working in?
756
00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:38,480
Oh, I-I've never worked
in a hotel.
757
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,040
Wow, no way.
758
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:45,280
Well, I have to score the
Ooh-Hoo-Hoo-Hotel,
759
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:50,200
I have to score them highly because
inexplicably, they really cared.
760
00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:53,000
This was absolutely carnage.
But I enjoyed watching it.
761
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,400
So, I can't give them nothing,
I can't give them 1 even.
762
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,480
But I can give them 2.
763
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:02,000
And 2 versus 5. Well done,
the two who gets 5 points.
764
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,720
2, 2, 2, 5, 5.
765
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:06,120
We were robbed there.
766
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:07,680
One last glance at the scores.
767
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:10,800
I can tell you in the leader board,
in terms of the series,
768
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,520
it all comes down to the last task.
769
00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:16,720
There are 2 points in it.
770
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,800
In this episode, it's pretty tight.
771
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:22,440
At the top, you've got Susan on 15,
and then Julian on 16 points!
772
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,280
Ooh!
773
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,360
OK, this is it!
774
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:34,080
Please make your way to the stage
for the final task of the series!
775
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,800
Hi, there, cutie.
Ooh! Hello!
776
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,720
Who's reading the task out?
777
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,560
Sam Campbell's reading
the last one.
778
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,720
Sam Campbell for the
final time this series.
779
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:54,280
"Throw a ball into the bath tub
from behind the rope.
780
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,560
"You may not touch the rope.
781
00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:00,040
"If a ball ends up not in
the bath tub, you are eliminated.
782
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,840
"Last player standing wins."
783
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,920
And if a single ball falls out,
or if your ball doesn't stay in,
784
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,480
you're out.
785
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,920
Round One, and we're going
to start with Julian,
786
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,520
we're going from left to right.
787
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,320
Pick a ball, any ball.
Throw it in the bath.
788
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,520
Shall the rest of us cuddle
while he does it? Yeah, come on.
789
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,080
Like a penalty shoot-out.
790
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,480
Go on, Julian.
791
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:21,760
So, I'm allowed to lean over?
792
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,760
You can lean over,
just don't touch that rope.
793
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,840
Don't you touch that rope,
Julian Clary.
794
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:32,560
That was cruel.
795
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:33,600
That's not great.
796
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,440
You must sit on the bench.
797
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,080
There's a chance they'll all go out
in Round One. It's not easy.
798
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,680
You still could quite easily win.
799
00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:44,720
Oh, there's some heavy balls.
800
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:50,480
Shall I go closer?
801
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:52,360
That's a great choice,
though, I think.
802
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:53,840
Because of the surface area.
803
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,640
Cos it's light and it's got a
big surface area, correct.
804
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,360
That's a miss.
Two down, three to go.
805
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,280
This is shaping up to be
one anti-climax.
806
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,160
Oh, lovely.
807
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:16,880
Ooh!
808
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,240
So it is possible...
which is a relief.
809
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:35,440
Lovely form.
810
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:36,480
Thank you.
811
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,080
As expected, goodbye.
812
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,600
Well, one left.
813
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,920
Just say, in the rehearsal -
good half an hour, this one.
814
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,480
How many rounds are there?
Well, it looks like one.
815
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,800
If you don't get this, d'you know
how I'm going to react?
816
00:44:58,840 --> 00:44:59,960
"Ooh-hoo."
817
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,880
You're going to get this in.
I know you. Oh, ah.
818
00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:24,400
Let's add that to the final scores.
Please come down and join me!
819
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,800
All champions.
820
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,120
Well, one person got a
ball in the bath,
821
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,280
Sam obviously gets 5 points.
822
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:46,920
The rest are either
all joint-second or joint-last.
823
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,400
They were there,
so they get 1 point.
824
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,800
1, 1, 5, 1, 1.
825
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:54,680
Well done, everyone!
826
00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:58,400
And so... A tight episode
for the main part.
827
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,560
Sue, unfortunately,
at the bottom with 11,
828
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,200
but Julian, with 17 points,
wins the episode!
829
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:09,040
Please go and celebrate
your shocking stuff!
830
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:23,920
Ah, at last!
831
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:27,760
That moment has arrived where
we crown our new champion,
832
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,840
and revel in the enormity of
their achievements.
833
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,960
Alex, please.
834
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,560
In fifth place, she's been
outstanding throughout the series,
835
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,720
and she's still really outstanding
from the re...
836
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:40,000
A long way below the rest.
837
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:45,280
Lucy Beaumont scored 129 points!
Lucy Beaumont!
838
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:48,720
Then, then we come to two people
who've been pretty much inseparable
839
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,680
throughout the last ten episodes,
840
00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:53,880
Sue Perkins on 137,
and Susan Wokoma on 139!
841
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:01,520
In second place, with 155 points...
842
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,360
..it's Mr Julian Clary!
843
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:14,160
And, Greg, Greg,
the winner got 161 points.
844
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:15,840
It was close at the end.
845
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,920
Your new Taskmaster champion is....
846
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:20,400
..Sam Campbell!
847
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:56,000
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