Original subtitles

And now, here they are,

the most daredevil group of dacky drivers

who ever whirl their wheels in the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the world's wackiest racer.

The cars are approaching the starting line.

First is the Turbo Terrific, driven by Peter Perfect.

Next is Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth in the buzz wagon.

Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special.

Right behind is the anthill mob in their bulletproof bomb.

And there's ingenious inventor, Pat Pendig in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop,

the glamour gal of the gas pedal.

Next, we have the bouldermobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the creepy coupe with the gruesome Susan.

And right on their tail is the Red Mack.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Luke and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those

double-dealing do-batters, Dick Dasterly and his sidekick, Mutley.

And even now, they're up to some dirty trick,

and they're off to a standing start.

And why not? They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dasterly.

Who shifts into the wrong gear.

And away they go!

On the Way Out Wacky Races!

Here are the wacky racers,

strung out on the next lap of today's wacky race,

which incidentally will take them on a

grueling zigzag route to Mustard Spread, Arkansas.

Attempting to gain the lead over the other contenders,

is that villainous Dick Dastardly,

who would leave no stone unturned to gain an advantage.

Now, at this moment, it's number one, the Slag Brothers, in first place.

Number two, the Creepy Coop is second.

But there they go into overdrive.

And now it's number four, the Red Max, making his move.

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Bunched up behind the leaders are Number 3, Professor Pat Pending.

Number 6, the Army Surplus Special.

Number 8, the Arkansas Chuggabug.

Number 9, Victor Perfect.

Number five. Oh, lovely. Penelope Pit Stop.

Dick Bastardly in car number 00 is nowhere in sight.

And far behind is the Ant Hill Mob. Number seven.

All right, you monks. Let's show 'em our my getaway power.

Well, gee, boss,

- My feet hurt. - You hurt me.

R-R-Right, boss.

Calling headquarters. Calling headquarters.

This is Highway Officer 26 calling.

What looked like the anthill mob just passed me.

Will investigate.

The cops spotted us. Turn off at the next time.

Rat! One of them turned off.

But we'll stop the rest of them when we blast the paths.

You plant the dynamite, Muttley.

And I'll give you the signal.

What was that?

Now!

Now what went wrong?

At least we stopped one of them.

Number nine, Peter Perfect, is now leading the pack.

The Arkansas Chuggabug, number eight, is second.

He's beginning to move up.

And here comes number six, the Army Surplus Special, passing them all.

But here comes number three, Professor Pat Pending, taking the lead.

We'll be back in a minute.

- Hey, look, Boss, there's a shack. - Good.

Duck the car behind it. It'll make a great hideout.

Hey, what is this place?

Seven hats and coats,

coats, seven chairs, seven little beds?

Hey, you lubs, do you know who lives here?

The Tree Bears?

No, you dum-dum, the Seven dwarfs.

Pipe down. Somebody's coming. Into the outfits, quick.

Oh, dear. I'm lost.

Yoo-hooing there? Anybody to help?

There's nobody here but us seven dwarfs.

Oh, how cute. Are you all really the seven dwarfs?

Of course. Make like seven dwarfs.

Okay, now what's your problem?

Well, little old me got lost.

Can y'all tell me where I can find the little old highway?

Sure. Little old you go straight a mile,

then two miles left, then right, then left another mile,

then another mile right, then left,

then another left, and there y'all.

Oh, thanks, y'all.

And say hi there to the little old prince.

We'll do that, little old thing.

Hey, now she'll get ahead of us!

Oh, yeah?

If she follows my directions,

she'll end up smack in the middle of the La Brea Tar Pits.

Come on, back into the race!

Another car is coming. Quick, make like seven dwarfs.

- We are the seven little dwarfs? - Well, I'm Snow White.

So tell me where the highway is.

Sure, you just make a sharp coin left.

Thanks, Shorty.

Yeah, you get it? Shorty.

Yeah, you're gonna get it.

What will I do? I'm stuck in the mud!

Keep going. Maybe you'll strike oil.

Back on our radar scope, we see it's still a pretty close race.

Ohh Wait a minute, wait, something's gone wrong.

Or the wacky racers have gone crazy.

Oh, this looks like a real crisis, folks.

The racers are hung up in a clover leaf.

They may never get out.

Exactly as I planned it. Right, Muttley?

- But how, you fiend? - Diabolically simple.

I merely turned the exit sign around.

How about that? In all the excitement,

Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth have moved way out in front.

You can say that again, fella.

What's going on?

Looks like Number 10's hit a rough spot in the road.

And the winner will be Number 10, driven by-- Yow!

That was a bad break for the buzz wagon.

And as we come into the final miles of this exciting race,

it's the Creepy Coop creeping into the lead using bat power.

Now it's the Army Surplus Special marching up fast.

Ouch!

Now it's Peter Perfich Turbo Terrific in front.

And he's stretching his lead.

And here comes Pat Pending stretching his legs.

Straight ahead is Bustard Spread,

Arkansas, and the finish line.

Oh, wait a minute. There's a train coming.

The road's blocked, which means no one can win.

Did you say no one?

Thank you, Boss!

Grat, you! Grat, grat and grat!

Here they all come, racing for the finish line.

It's number two in the lead, number ten second, number four third.

And double zero Dick Dastardly is passing them all.

Now it's neck and neck. It looks like a photo finish.

Did you say photo finish?

It is a photo finish. And in a few moments, folks,

we'll have the picture.

And the winners are number four with Red Max,

Second, number two, the Creepy Coop.

And third, Rufus Ruffcutt.

And can you believe it?

Dick Dastardly stopped to pose for his picture.

Ohh! The big ham.

Subtitles: Kilo