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1
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:17,811
Hey!
2
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:20,947
My name is Emma Manicotti,
and I'm a worldwide phenom.
3
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,916
I mean, everyone knows who I am.
4
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,285
That's my dad, Alfredo.
5
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:30,390
He's obviously way into noodles.
6
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,492
Get beaten, you bad flour.
7
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,462
Oh, you're so bad. Who can help you?
8
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,397
"I can help you."
9
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:40,066
Yeast, you would help flour?
10
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,969
"Yes. Of course I would, for you."
11
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,504
Oh, yes. Take the yeast.
12
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:45,877
Right now, he's gearing up for
13
00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:47,974
the biggest noodle contest of all...
14
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,310
the Global Pasta Championship.
15
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,245
This is the one he needs to win,
16
00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:54,581
or our family fortune and fame is at risk.
17
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,649
We already lost our brand of flour
18
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,953
due to the gluten ban,
so I know he'll do it.
19
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:01,154
He's a winner.
20
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,555
Oh, my God, check this out.
21
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,691
So, this is my killer birthday party.
22
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,406
Oh, my God!
23
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,526
Jerome. Thank God.
24
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:42,295
I need the keys to the
fastest and most expensive car
25
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:43,897
that we have.
26
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,948
Are you serious?
27
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,165
Oh! Oh, my God, help!
28
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:20,800
What is this?
29
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,573
That's Chub.
30
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,242
He's the backwoods
hillbilly that saved my ass.
31
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,578
Name's Chub. Short for Chublie.
32
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,446
- What's your name?
- Wait, really?
33
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,316
You don't know who I
am? I'm worldwide, babe.
34
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,351
Everyone knows who I am.
35
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:40,386
- I'm obviously Emma Man...
- Hush.
36
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,289
You got a macaroni in your hair.
37
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:47,360
Okay, okay, sorry. Hold on.
38
00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:48,828
Let's just back up,
39
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:53,199
before the Pastademic
shitstorm boiled over.
40
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,434
No.
41
00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:57,103
No.
42
00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,572
Yes!
43
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,873
Italian dude. Buongior-jino.
44
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:09,208
Manicotti, ti sei ingrassato.
45
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:10,710
Thanks.
46
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,588
I was working out, but
the weights were too heavy.
47
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:13,913
But talk is for women.
48
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,114
Do you have the...
49
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,183
secret sauce?
50
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,918
Come hai ordinato, signore.
51
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:23,056
I pomodori coltivati sulla luna
con una riduzione di origano.
52
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:26,092
Yes, yes, yes. Your
Italian is mesmerizing.
53
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:27,360
But what about...
54
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,128
the gluten?
55
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,700
Mi devi il doppio per il
rischio che ho dovuto correre.
56
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:39,272
Good work, Italiana dude.
57
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:40,940
Caio.
58
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,144
Police! Freeze!
59
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:49,315
Fuck me!
60
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,617
A well-dressed national has been busted
61
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:54,320
for trafficking gluten
across international waters.
62
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:55,722
Now, if you'll excuse me,
63
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,757
I'm late for a screening of "Windbreakers."
64
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:00,126
I've heard it's fart-tastic!
65
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,063
Are you kidding me right now?
66
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,570
Ah, my laboratory...
67
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,038
but for cooking.
68
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:15,041
Let's get this dinner party started.
69
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:29,956
Now comes the forbidden ingredient...
70
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:32,425
the gluten.
71
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,631
Rise! You belong in mouths!
72
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:42,568
Intestines are what you
should be running through!
73
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,876
Rise, and renounce your dominion
74
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:54,280
to all fortunate enough to soon eat you!
75
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,250
Ugh, God! Daddy!
76
00:06:57,383 --> 00:06:58,718
Can't you see I'm cooking?
77
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:01,888
None of these birthday
dresses I bought fit me.
78
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,089
Emma.
79
00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:04,991
Then why would you go and buy them all?
80
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,960
Because if I can't wear them,
then no one will wear them.
81
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,997
You've had plenty of
time to figure out a dress.
82
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,699
$9,300?
83
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:17,136
I know, right? You call that "on sale"?
84
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:21,941
I spent so much of your money!
85
00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,677
I'm in here busting my ass off
86
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:27,513
making the world's best ziti alla genovese,
87
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,516
and you're out throwing
money down the drain.
88
00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,020
This contest is worth a fortune,
89
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:38,825
and I need to win it to
make up for our losses.
90
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,894
This is where the money comes from!
91
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:44,831
Wait. What's that?
92
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,500
Nothing. A secr... secret ingredient.
93
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,503
- Did that say "gluten?"
- You know that's banned.
94
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:53,372
Dad, you're not using gluten, are you?
95
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:54,941
Of course not.
96
00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:58,511
It looks like gluten, but
it's actually an acronym
97
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:06,644
for Great Linguini Uber Tasso
Exsquisito Norophrophonine.
98
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:15,194
It is an ancient preservative
derivative from olive pits.
99
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,631
Oh, I know you're gonna win.
100
00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:21,133
Daddy, what would I do without you?
101
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,035
I guess you'd live an average life,
102
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:26,472
get a job to pay for things,
and have to do stuff on your own.
103
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:28,741
Oh, my God, you're so funny.
104
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,443
I wouldn't know how to do any of that.
105
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:31,911
I know.
106
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,589
How about a sunset
dinner on the Lasagna One
107
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:37,016
to celebrate your big
thing... what is it, anniversary?
108
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:38,751
It is my birthday, not my anniversary,
109
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,786
but I better go buy a dress.
110
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,555
See you on the boat.
111
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:47,970
I mean, if you're a little overweight,
112
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,095
but believe you're slender,
113
00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:50,596
does that make you translender?
114
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,431
I know. Hold on, I gotta do the thing.
115
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:53,933
What's up, ya'll?
116
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:55,677
Welcome to the new
episode of "Emma's Dilemma,"
117
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,970
where I have to figure out
what cool thing I buy next.
118
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,839
Put your suggestions in the comments,
119
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:03,142
and smash that "like" button
and ring the bell for notifications.
120
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,756
You don't want to miss what
I'm getting that you can't afford.
121
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:06,879
Be right back!
122
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,381
What do you mean you got a job?
123
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:09,749
Does it hurt? Are you okay?
124
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,651
What's it like?
125
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:25,965
So perfect.
126
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:29,869
So delicately sauced
and accurately layered.
127
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,304
If only you were alive,
128
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:34,840
you could get a big, fat whiff of yourself.
129
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:38,811
The hearty noodles so filled with gluten,
130
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,413
but no one will know.
131
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,081
No, no.
132
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:47,920
We do this tomorrow, my friend,
and we take home the prize.
133
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,399
Dad! Good news!
134
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:01,701
I found a dress that fits.
135
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,269
A dress for what?
136
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:04,837
My birthday, silly.
137
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:07,807
Oh! It's blindingly fantastic.
138
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:12,044
Even from LEDs, I can
feel the heat coming off you.
139
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,412
Thank God!
140
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:15,514
Come. Let's eat.
141
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,083
Um...
142
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,088
You know what? I'll just stand.
143
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:24,123
There's my girl, solving problems.
144
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:25,658
So, are you ready for tomorrow?
145
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,194
That's how ready I am for tomorrow.
146
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:29,195
Right there.
147
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:31,897
I bought the entire beach...
148
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:35,801
which is inanely stupid
since I don't have the money.
149
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:39,171
But when I win, we will have the money,
150
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,708
and we'll be celebrating
like the ancient Romans
151
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,810
when they first got Jesus.
152
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:46,045
Look. Dad.
153
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:47,913
Birds in formation over the sunset.
154
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,949
That's a sign of good luck.
155
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,592
Time's up!
156
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,862
Let the taste test begin!
157
00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:51,177
And now, the moment that
everyone's been waiting for...
158
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,979
the winner of the $50 trillion
159
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:58,217
Everlasting Worldwide
Pasta Championship goes to...
160
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,252
Al...
161
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,722
...fre...
162
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:04,457
de...
163
00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:11,430
The snowman?
164
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,033
No!
165
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,468
No!
166
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,538
Bernie, come here. Come here.
167
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,740
This is a joke, right?
168
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,808
I think you meant to say my name,
169
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,643
but then you said the snowman's name.
170
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:26,345
You cooked with gluten, Manicotti...
171
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,682
which not only disqualified
you, but it's a federal violation.
172
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:32,985
But... But gluten is old-world, Bernie.
173
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,921
It's the lifeblood of legacy pasta.
174
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,389
This makes you a criminal.
175
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,193
Hear that? That's the sound of your ride.
176
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,394
Bernie...
177
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,039
Your new home will be in Federal lockup,
178
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,231
I'm sorry to say.
179
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,866
We've been friends for 30 years!
180
00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:48,567
You called the authorities on me?
181
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,069
- Had to.
- Oh, you had to?
182
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:52,042
Is that what keeps
friends? Thank you, Bernie.
183
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:55,274
Thank you for doing your
duty as a friend of 30 years.
184
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:57,476
Look, Alfredo, it's the rules...
185
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,011
I bought a beach, Bernie!
186
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,080
You have no idea what this will do to me!
187
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:03,149
Come on, Manicotti, we're friends.
188
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,952
We're not friends... anymore.
189
00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,856
I said we're not friends. Did you hear me?
190
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,993
You don't seem to be
very broken up about it.
191
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:18,998
There'll be a day you'll regret this.
192
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:27,306
Why is everyone staring at me?!
193
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:29,708
Stare at yourselves, you monsters!
194
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,977
I'm not good with feelings!
195
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:31,437
Breaking news!
196
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:36,242
Alfredo Manicotti goes down
as the world's pasta mogul,
197
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,377
as he is defeated by a snowman.
198
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:41,981
There's snow messin'
around with this snowman.
199
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:44,016
He's snow joke.
200
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,721
Snow what I mean?
201
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:50,155
Snothin'?
202
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:52,558
- The loser, Manicotti...
- It's a snow-brainer.
203
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:57,296
Time waits for snow man.
204
00:14:57,429 --> 00:15:00,933
The loser, Manicotti, still
remains at large tonight.
205
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,334
They've set up a hotline,
206
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:04,203
but we're not going to tell you what it is.
207
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:07,406
Speaking of farts, I just saw
this movie "Windbreakers."
208
00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:08,641
It's amazing!
209
00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:11,510
You've got to... you
just have to check it out!
210
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:46,545
What's your pleasure, sir?
211
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,014
Oh, nothing. I'm just browsing.
212
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,749
Just take your time.
213
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,851
- Look around.
- These are cute.
214
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,287
Do you have these in taupe?
215
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:56,722
Whoa.
216
00:15:56,855 --> 00:16:01,360
What... is... that?
217
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:02,493
It's...
218
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:06,198
the Noodle of Destiny.
219
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,334
It's what you need.
220
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,135
How do you know what I need?
221
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:13,005
I don't. But that noodle does.
222
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,340
Take it.
223
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:18,944
You didn't find it, it found you.
224
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:21,246
What... What does it do?
225
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:25,985
It does whatever you want it to do.
226
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,453
How much?
227
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:32,391
Money cannot purchase fate.
228
00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:34,426
For free? That's a pretty good deal.
229
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,627
Can I get a box?
230
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,229
Watch this.
231
00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:42,434
Holy... Ooh!
232
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,004
- Do you ever blink?
- Isn't this weird?
233
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,305
You're weird, too!
234
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:49,742
Embrace it. Fulfill your destiny.
235
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,315
Okay, I'm gonna get outta
here before this gets any weirder.
236
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,512
Come back soon.
237
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,214
And tell your friends about me.
238
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:06,258
If everything's gluten-free,
239
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:09,962
then where did all the gluten go?
240
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,131
Hmm.
241
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:14,433
That was impossibly easy.
242
00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:17,036
Here's your gluten-free grape-skin latte
243
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:18,804
in a banana-skin cup.
244
00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:22,107
I'm sorry, but I ordered
a gluten-filled mocha,
245
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:25,144
with double gluten, on top of more gluten.
246
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,179
I believe it's called the "Gluten Morgen."
247
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:30,249
But, like, gluten is forbidden.
248
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,917
Like, everyone knows that.
249
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,852
Oh, thank you for reminding me.
250
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,155
You ignorant peasants!
251
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,223
Gluten is life!
252
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:39,958
Gluten-free brownies!
253
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,194
Look how crumbly they are!
254
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:44,763
No gluten to hold them together!
255
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:56,241
The estate and every item on this property
256
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,744
will go up for auction to
reconcile all of the loans
257
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:01,080
and pay the enormous gluten fines.
258
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:03,315
All he did was lose a cooking contest.
259
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,551
This doesn't make any sense.
260
00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:08,754
Look, the system has ways to help you...
261
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,156
coupons for food, free bus tokens.
262
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,158
Emma, you're smart.
You'll get through this.
263
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:14,660
It's just that you'll have...
264
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:15,894
none of your stuff.
265
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,463
Oh, man!
266
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,666
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I'm late for clown court.
267
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:22,367
All my stuff!
268
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,636
Have a nice day.
269
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,506
How am I ever gonna survive?
270
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:32,911
Dad? Where are you?
271
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,379
The police are everywhere.
272
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,281
Yes, I know. They're very good runners.
273
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,851
We are about to lose everything.
274
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,119
What's gonna happen to us?
275
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:41,653
We're gonna be okay, Emma.
276
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,656
I'm going to destroy...
I mean, I have a plan.
277
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:48,427
Because now I have the Noodle of Destiny.
278
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,795
The noodle of what?
279
00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:51,597
We're about to have nothing...
280
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,032
like, no things.
281
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,566
A gluten-free world did this to us.
282
00:18:55,667 --> 00:19:00,005
And soon, the gluten-free
world will know my pain.
283
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,874
But what about my birthday party?
284
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,243
I won't be able to make
it. But I hope you have fun.
285
00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:07,045
You're turning... sweet 16-something?
286
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:08,647
Plus 4.21.
287
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:09,982
21!
288
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:12,484
I was about to say "21." Okay.
289
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:14,153
Listen, just give me a day or so.
290
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:15,554
Daddy loves you.
291
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:18,857
I hope you have a killer birthday party.
292
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,183
Hey!
293
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:45,793
This is a Goddamn National Gluten Reserve.
294
00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:47,519
The hell! You can't come in here!
295
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,555
Oh yeah? Says who?
296
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,691
Says me. I'm security around these parts.
297
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:54,426
Name's Bob.
298
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:59,198
Hey, you wanna see
the Electric Pickle trick?
299
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,233
Mm... will it take long?
300
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,402
Watch this. It's amazin'
301
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,004
Ready? Okay.
302
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,272
Ain't that a hoot?
303
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,510
Hey, where'd you get them there noodles?
304
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:13,412
My mama makes 'em from scratch.
305
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,080
I only like 'em al dente.
306
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,551
She calls me "Al Dente Bob,"
but my real name's just Bob.
307
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,853
- Of course.
- Is that your tiny bike?
308
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:25,224
It is now. I stole it from a child.
309
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:26,558
Wait.
310
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:29,728
Dag nabit. You're Alfredo Manicotti.
311
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:31,330
I've seen you on the TV.
312
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:33,632
Mama uses Emma Flour for pizza-making...
313
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:36,268
at least she used to, until the gluten ban.
314
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,704
Hey, would you sign my noodle bowl?
315
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:42,274
Why don't we sign it inside that silo,
316
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,976
near all the gluten.
317
00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:45,177
We can get a selfie.
318
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:46,545
Oh, hell yeah. Just hang on.
319
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,114
Let me find the keys.
320
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,382
Oh, man.
321
00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:51,984
No one's gonna believe I met you.
322
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:54,720
Isn't that the point of the picture, Bob?
323
00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:55,988
Thanks.
324
00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:58,357
So every one of these
are filled to the brim
325
00:20:58,490 --> 00:20:59,992
with delicious gluten?
326
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:01,326
Yup.
327
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,837
Government flies it in with tankers.
328
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,997
Ugh. It's such a shame, right?
329
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:08,567
That gluten got such a
bad rap for no reason?
330
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,802
Well, you get them hippies from California
331
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,536
sayin' it's all bad stuff, then, next...
332
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:15,774
I'm coming up with this crazy idea, Bob.
333
00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:17,843
Oh, boy. I love crazy.
334
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:19,778
I'm gonna re-gluten the world.
335
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,747
And I'll need your help.
336
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,215
Hell yeah, man!
337
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,651
Let me just go poop.
338
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,887
We can't change past
events, can we, little noodle?
339
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,322
No.
340
00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:33,959
But we can change the
rules, and bring back the flavor.
341
00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:36,461
Bring back... gluten!
342
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,570
Are you done pooping, Bob?
343
00:21:49,841 --> 00:21:51,443
Hey, man, is this enough?
344
00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:53,278
No. Yes. I mean, I don't know.
345
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:56,948
Look, I'm sure it's between
the storm and the electricity,
346
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:58,583
it's... tie it to the weather vane.
347
00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:00,619
We'll catch something. I'm just winging it.
348
00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:19,137
She's hot, y'all!
349
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:22,808
With the power of the Noodle of Destiny,
350
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:28,113
I command that all gluten
be returned to the food chain,
351
00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:34,286
without penalty, and hereby
replenish my income and...
352
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:37,589
What is that Goddamn noise?
353
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:39,624
Aw, hell. Hang on.
354
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,364
It burns!
355
00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:52,971
Hey.
356
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,710
Oh!
357
00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:07,619
Yes, the house will still be
in our possession for the party.
358
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,554
It's not like we're broke right now.
359
00:23:09,688 --> 00:23:11,990
I mean, we will be very soon.
360
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:15,327
Of course my dad's not
coming, you ding dong.
361
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:17,396
He's on the run, remember?
362
00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:18,797
It's all over the news.
363
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:21,199
Listen, the party starts at 10:00,
364
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:22,567
I need you here by 8:00
365
00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:24,302
to help me with my makeup and dress.
366
00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:52,764
I've lost weight.
367
00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:56,334
I feel so slim... slim with power...
368
00:23:56,468 --> 00:23:59,805
sweet, glutenous power.
369
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:02,541
Hey, what's going on with us?
370
00:24:02,674 --> 00:24:04,943
Welcome to the Pastalution, Bob.
371
00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:09,347
Now, let's see how far we can push this.
372
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:11,483
Let's get cookin'!
373
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:13,385
Noodloids!
374
00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:15,287
Bowties!
375
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:17,889
Linguinioids!
376
00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:19,090
Yes!
377
00:24:19,224 --> 00:24:20,492
Rise!
378
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:22,427
Rise, my children!
379
00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:25,430
Make way for the New Noodle Order!
380
00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:28,700
Give thanks to the life!
381
00:24:28,834 --> 00:24:32,103
Now, my Noodlings, go forth
382
00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:35,173
and fill the food chain with gluten!
383
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,077
Let...
384
00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:41,046
Pastacolypse...
385
00:24:41,179 --> 00:24:43,014
begin!
386
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:50,055
This is cool and all, but do
you know what you're doing?
387
00:24:50,188 --> 00:24:51,990
Let me answer that with a question...
388
00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:54,368
does any mad man know what
he's doing when he's doing it?
389
00:24:54,392 --> 00:24:56,027
Mad men are doers, Bob.
390
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,562
That's how things get done.
391
00:24:57,696 --> 00:24:59,176
How are you gonna bring back gluten?
392
00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:01,700
I don't know. I'm figuring it out myself.
393
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:03,001
You had nothing else to do.
394
00:25:03,134 --> 00:25:05,036
- Stop asking questions!
- All right.
395
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:06,771
We're great coming out of the gate.
396
00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:08,573
It's not time to question.
397
00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:10,942
- This is the answer.
- If you say so.
398
00:25:11,076 --> 00:25:13,812
You can be supportive
or you can be negative.
399
00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:16,248
I would prefer a little supportive-ness.
400
00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:19,451
We're already doing much
more than people expected, okay?
401
00:25:19,584 --> 00:25:22,287
- Okay.
- Just let this roll, baby.
402
00:25:24,422 --> 00:25:28,460
Ladies and Gentlemen,
hot crusty food pockets!
403
00:25:28,593 --> 00:25:31,296
Ooh, they smell delicious!
404
00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:36,134
Who's bored with this show?
405
00:25:36,268 --> 00:25:37,669
I am, right?
406
00:25:37,802 --> 00:25:40,272
Can I get a channel change on three?
407
00:25:40,405 --> 00:25:41,573
One...
408
00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:42,807
two...
409
00:25:45,410 --> 00:25:46,845
Well, hello, there.
410
00:25:46,978 --> 00:25:49,014
Are you gluten-free?
411
00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:48,039
Ladies and gentlemen,
412
00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:51,076
I present to you the guest of honor
413
00:26:51,209 --> 00:26:53,345
and birthday girl of the year,
414
00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:59,584
Emma Maniiiiiiiii...
415
00:26:59,718 --> 00:27:01,219
cotti!
416
00:27:05,223 --> 00:27:07,292
And for everyone's enjoyment,
417
00:27:07,425 --> 00:27:09,728
the dish you've been waiting for...
418
00:27:09,861 --> 00:27:12,597
gluten-free Pasta salad!
419
00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:17,502
Aah!
420
00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:19,804
Whoa!
421
00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,409
Shenandoah!
422
00:27:33,184 --> 00:27:34,519
Aaaahhhh!
423
00:27:36,855 --> 00:27:38,590
Aaahhh!
424
00:27:41,626 --> 00:27:44,663
Okay, so this is where
we started, remember?
425
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:46,798
Aaahhh!
426
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:47,931
No! Stop!
427
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:52,937
Are you freaking kidding me?
428
00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:54,572
What the hell are those things?!
429
00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:56,074
Hey, hey! The language.
430
00:27:56,207 --> 00:27:58,176
- I'm just really scared...
- Okay.
431
00:27:58,309 --> 00:27:59,811
- ...and I want my dad...
- Okay.
432
00:27:59,944 --> 00:28:02,113
...and my stuff and my party back...
433
00:28:02,247 --> 00:28:03,567
- Okay.
- ...and this shouldn't be
434
00:28:03,648 --> 00:28:04,848
- happening to me...
- Mnh-mnh.
435
00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:06,293
- ...because I'm so rich, and...
- Easy!
436
00:28:06,317 --> 00:28:07,719
Who are you?!
437
00:28:07,852 --> 00:28:08,887
Chub. Remember?
438
00:28:11,322 --> 00:28:13,067
Remember you was in the
noodle swamp, the macaroni
439
00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:15,894
was about to kill ya, had
the shotgun, saved ya life.
440
00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:17,347
You don't remember that all that?
441
00:28:17,429 --> 00:28:19,030
You gonna... You gonna be okay.
442
00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:22,033
I just fell into a pit of warm macaroni
443
00:28:22,167 --> 00:28:24,903
that was alive and wriggling around.
444
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:27,806
Does that sound "okay" to you?!
445
00:28:30,508 --> 00:28:33,812
Holy shit. Did you just see
me swing in on that vine?
446
00:28:33,945 --> 00:28:37,182
That was, like, 300 yards of kick-ass.
447
00:28:37,315 --> 00:28:38,817
Chub, what are you staring at?
448
00:28:38,950 --> 00:28:40,852
- This girl.
- Oh, God.
449
00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:42,463
We're in the middle of a noodle-demic,
450
00:28:42,487 --> 00:28:44,556
and you're chasing girls in the woods.
451
00:28:44,689 --> 00:28:46,157
So, what's your name?
452
00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:48,827
E-Em-ma-ma-ma.
453
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,296
Em-m-ma-m-ma.
454
00:28:51,429 --> 00:28:52,664
Emma. Emma.
455
00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:54,733
Okay.
456
00:28:54,866 --> 00:28:56,444
Who wants to swing around on some vines?
457
00:28:56,468 --> 00:28:58,069
I know a couple of good ones.
458
00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:00,105
We gotta get her back to the Ranch.
459
00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:02,841
Oh, God, Chub, she
can barely say her name.
460
00:29:02,974 --> 00:29:04,652
Do you think she has the capacity to walk?
461
00:29:04,676 --> 00:29:08,713
She's human, and
there ain't many of us left.
462
00:29:09,981 --> 00:29:12,016
All right, this is how it goes.
463
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:13,818
You join us, you fight.
464
00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:15,787
You don't fight, you're dead.
465
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,622
See this bear?
466
00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:19,324
He's amazing.
467
00:29:19,457 --> 00:29:21,226
Remember that.
468
00:29:21,359 --> 00:29:23,228
- Come on, let's get a vine.
- Mary, ease up.
469
00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:25,497
We're just gettin' to know each other.
470
00:29:25,630 --> 00:29:26,931
Save your crazy for tomorrow.
471
00:29:27,065 --> 00:29:28,833
I'm sure we gonna need your crazy tomorrow.
472
00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:30,969
I love plushies. Please don't hurt me.
473
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:32,804
I have a horse. Well, I had a horse.
474
00:29:32,937 --> 00:29:34,472
- Let's race!
- Do you like horses?
475
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,717
I also have this new idea
where I want to make a game...
476
00:29:36,741 --> 00:29:38,810
- I'm swingin'!
- ...that starts out really easy,
477
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,488
but then it gets really hard at the end.
478
00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:41,880
- I don't know.
- ♪ Swingin' ♪
479
00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:43,224
I think I could sell it to a newspaper
480
00:29:43,248 --> 00:29:44,749
or some upcoming media like that.
481
00:29:44,883 --> 00:29:47,385
Do you think that you'd
want to play that game, or I...
482
00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:50,155
Um, do you know where we're going?
483
00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:54,325
I want to introduce you
to my twin brother, Halfway.
484
00:29:56,261 --> 00:29:58,062
- Halfway, this is Emma.
- Hey!
485
00:29:58,196 --> 00:29:59,607
How you doin'? Nice to meet you, Emma.
486
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,633
Everybody get us mixed up all the time.
487
00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:03,043
- Can I lend you a hand?
- What?!
488
00:30:03,067 --> 00:30:04,936
Look at him. He just showin' off.
489
00:30:05,069 --> 00:30:07,472
Okay, what kind of piece of junk is this?
490
00:30:07,605 --> 00:30:08,940
You call it a boat!?
491
00:30:09,073 --> 00:30:10,417
Well, like they taught
me in Hebrew School,
492
00:30:10,441 --> 00:30:11,943
it ain't about what you're driving...
493
00:30:12,076 --> 00:30:13,276
It's about where you're going.
494
00:30:13,344 --> 00:30:14,655
We're barely floating, and this guy
495
00:30:14,679 --> 00:30:16,123
- just handed me his hand and...
- Whoo!
496
00:30:16,147 --> 00:30:17,882
- Watch your head there, lady!
- What?!
497
00:30:18,016 --> 00:30:19,617
Damn things come out of nowhere.
498
00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:21,753
Who are you people?
499
00:30:21,886 --> 00:30:23,154
"Who are we," you ask?
500
00:30:23,288 --> 00:30:26,257
We are rustic, clodhoppin' backwoodsmen.
501
00:30:26,391 --> 00:30:29,561
You ever seen "The Hills
Have Eyes" or "Deliverance"?
502
00:30:29,694 --> 00:30:34,132
We're those kind of people...
the ones teenagers fear.
503
00:30:34,265 --> 00:30:36,868
Oh, so you're the underprivileged?
504
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:38,136
Underprivileged?
505
00:30:38,269 --> 00:30:40,538
I'm Bill Gates of the woods!
506
00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:43,441
This fly-ass yacht, bunch of buckshot.
507
00:30:43,575 --> 00:30:46,911
My mama taught us how to
shoot squirrels when we were little.
508
00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:49,581
Puts meat on your bones.
509
00:30:49,714 --> 00:30:51,616
Where's your mama now?
510
00:30:51,749 --> 00:30:53,651
She's dead.
511
00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:56,387
- Noodles got her.
- Aw.
512
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:58,890
Okay, well, speaking of
things that aren't dead...
513
00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:01,392
what's with these noodles?
514
00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:04,429
You eat meat?
515
00:31:04,562 --> 00:31:05,830
Yeah, no.
516
00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:07,065
Um, do you have a shower?
517
00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:08,800
I think I'm gonna go throw up,
518
00:31:08,933 --> 00:31:10,177
but I need to do it in the shower.
519
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:12,070
Nope, but we got a washtub and all.
520
00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:14,339
Oh, damn. I was gonna
take a bath in that tonight.
521
00:31:14,472 --> 00:31:17,775
You can bathe tomorrow,
bro. Half your body plastic.
522
00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:19,911
Use some glass cleaner and a rag.
523
00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:21,179
Thank God we got a toilet.
524
00:31:21,312 --> 00:31:23,248
Let's give it up for our new guest.
525
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,925
Okeedoke. I'll get to cleanin' it out.
526
00:31:24,949 --> 00:31:27,518
It's still full of crawfish
guts from that boil we had.
527
00:31:27,652 --> 00:31:29,921
And looky here. There's
already some puke in it.
528
00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:31,494
Guess they got to it before you did.
529
00:31:35,226 --> 00:31:37,395
Welcome to the Ranch.
530
00:31:59,150 --> 00:32:01,486
Noodle satellites airborne.
531
00:32:01,619 --> 00:32:04,989
Soon we will control all
the Earth's transmissions
532
00:32:05,123 --> 00:32:07,759
and stream gluten-filled propaganda
533
00:32:07,892 --> 00:32:09,727
onto all devices.
534
00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:11,763
Stand by for orbit.
535
00:32:11,896 --> 00:32:14,065
Bob, does that ding
mean they're in orbit now?
536
00:32:14,198 --> 00:32:16,134
An oddly low-tech sound.
537
00:32:16,267 --> 00:32:17,869
No, that's my burrito.
538
00:32:18,002 --> 00:32:19,203
Burrito complete.
539
00:32:19,337 --> 00:32:21,139
It's cheese and bean. You want some?
540
00:32:21,272 --> 00:32:23,741
Got it from the gas station a week ago.
541
00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:26,344
No, thanks, Bob. I'm getting another idea.
542
00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:29,681
It involves gluten missiles
and pasta reserve silos
543
00:32:29,814 --> 00:32:31,149
that are based across the globe.
544
00:32:31,282 --> 00:32:33,484
If we can hit those with precision,
545
00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:37,755
we can build a pasta force
of extraordinary strength.
546
00:32:37,889 --> 00:32:39,991
Whaddya say? You up for it?
547
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,195
I like it.
548
00:32:46,731 --> 00:32:49,067
Well, I've tracked the
signal down to the Panhandle.
549
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,035
There might be 20...
who knows... 30 humans.
550
00:32:51,169 --> 00:32:53,271
Goddamn thing.
551
00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:55,974
You... You dropped your arm.
552
00:32:56,107 --> 00:32:57,475
Just in case you hadn't noticed.
553
00:32:57,608 --> 00:32:59,844
- We goin' that direction.
- We're safer in numbers.
554
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:03,414
If this signal is for real,
we can build a resistance.
555
00:33:03,548 --> 00:33:05,083
Resistance? Out of what...
556
00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:07,452
plastic boy dolls and stuffed bears?
557
00:33:07,585 --> 00:33:09,654
More like a "Romper Room" army.
558
00:33:09,787 --> 00:33:10,888
Who the hell is that?
559
00:33:11,022 --> 00:33:13,024
Seriously? Who the hell am I?
560
00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:14,993
That's the guy who had to tell his sister
561
00:33:15,126 --> 00:33:16,928
he already had a prom date.
562
00:33:17,061 --> 00:33:18,463
Name's Kent Trey, darlin'.
563
00:33:18,596 --> 00:33:20,798
Biggest country artist on the radio.
564
00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:21,932
Pleasure's yours.
565
00:33:26,571 --> 00:33:28,773
Yeah, I just stream my music, so...
566
00:33:28,906 --> 00:33:31,109
Hey, can I get some
face wipes and skin toner?
567
00:33:31,242 --> 00:33:33,845
I used them all, and
I've been asking for more,
568
00:33:33,978 --> 00:33:35,613
but no one seems to listen.
569
00:33:35,747 --> 00:33:38,816
Okay, well, how are we supposed
to stay clean and moisturized?
570
00:33:38,950 --> 00:33:40,385
Looks like we're not.
571
00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:42,398
We don't even have
decent food on this thing...
572
00:33:43,921 --> 00:33:46,624
Please shut up.
573
00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:50,862
If I could just call my
dad, he could fix this.
574
00:33:50,995 --> 00:33:53,798
And he would help me
get away from you people.
575
00:33:53,931 --> 00:33:59,637
If my mama gone, I
guarantee your daddy gone.
576
00:34:02,507 --> 00:34:05,176
A gluten-free threat has been detected.
577
00:34:05,309 --> 00:34:06,811
Manicotti, sir,
578
00:34:06,944 --> 00:34:09,781
we are getting a signal from
a renegade humanoid outfit
579
00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:11,315
based in San Francisco.
580
00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:12,817
The hell you say?
581
00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:15,520
Noodle satellite confirms
the group's one of those
582
00:34:15,653 --> 00:34:18,456
"gluten-free, plastic straw-banning,
583
00:34:18,589 --> 00:34:21,559
keep-kids-in-masks,
destroy the beef industry"
584
00:34:21,692 --> 00:34:23,761
extremists.
585
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:25,296
Ran out of breath there.
586
00:34:25,430 --> 00:34:27,698
Cows make the milk
that is the vital ingredient
587
00:34:27,832 --> 00:34:30,001
in Bolognese, and plastic straws
588
00:34:30,134 --> 00:34:33,971
are essential for sipping
flavorful sugared coffee drinks.
589
00:34:34,105 --> 00:34:36,207
And masks are for Halloween fun!
590
00:34:36,340 --> 00:34:38,543
Unleash the bow tie battalion,
591
00:34:38,676 --> 00:34:42,980
and make sure they leave
a carbon footprint bigger
592
00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:44,415
than a Pope sandwich!
593
00:34:44,549 --> 00:34:46,517
The slower ones, sir, or the faster?
594
00:34:46,651 --> 00:34:49,153
- The faster ones, Bob!
- I don't know. The... Are the...
595
00:34:49,287 --> 00:34:54,092
Jesus H.! San Francisco
is 2,300 miles away!
596
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:56,461
- Uh...
- That's two movies on the plane.
597
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,030
- I-I'm not...
- Just do the thing now!
598
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,398
- Now!
- Whatever. I...
599
00:35:00,531 --> 00:35:02,133
- Do the thing to the thing!
- Hey, hey.
600
00:35:02,266 --> 00:35:04,535
You don't have to take
that mean sort of tone.
601
00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:06,204
Everyone around here is cool.
602
00:35:06,337 --> 00:35:08,806
I'm just exaggerating
my leadership qualities.
603
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,441
I'm sorry if it bothers you.
604
00:35:10,575 --> 00:35:13,945
It'd just be nice if you
could sometimes say "please"
605
00:35:14,078 --> 00:35:17,048
or "do you mind if..."
606
00:35:17,181 --> 00:35:20,118
Launch the bow ties, please!
607
00:35:20,251 --> 00:35:21,953
Do you mind if!
608
00:35:22,086 --> 00:35:23,588
Deploy Bow Tie Force One!
609
00:35:23,721 --> 00:35:26,824
Bow Tie Force One,
commence primary ignition.
610
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,059
How was that, Bob?
611
00:35:28,192 --> 00:35:29,594
Peaches and cream?
612
00:35:32,063 --> 00:35:33,297
Over Texas now.
613
00:35:33,431 --> 00:35:35,266
Approaching simmering velocity.
614
00:35:35,399 --> 00:35:36,868
They've gone full boil.
615
00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:39,804
F those F'ers in the F'ing A.
616
00:36:21,412 --> 00:36:22,980
Aah!
617
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,728
Idiots annoodleated.
618
00:36:39,564 --> 00:36:41,933
May the streets run red.
619
00:36:42,066 --> 00:36:45,836
Now, more importantly, how's
the ol' beach house comin' along?
620
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:55,947
What are you making?
621
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,050
This is my retort to the
shit world we are livin' in.
622
00:36:59,183 --> 00:37:00,284
"Retort"?
623
00:37:00,418 --> 00:37:01,986
Hey, that's a big word. Good job.
624
00:37:02,119 --> 00:37:05,323
Yes, it's a vulgar display of
my considerable vocabulary.
625
00:37:05,456 --> 00:37:06,524
How did you know it?
626
00:37:06,657 --> 00:37:07,992
Well... I read a lot.
627
00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:09,927
I don't know what you're talking about,
628
00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,696
but I do know one motherfuckin' thing...
629
00:37:11,829 --> 00:37:14,732
Reading's for nerds! Drinking's for men.
630
00:37:14,865 --> 00:37:17,134
- Read this, jerkwad.
- Sorry, plastic boy.
631
00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:19,704
- I don't know sign language.
- It is what it is.
632
00:37:19,837 --> 00:37:22,840
Don't you ever say
shit like that to me again.
633
00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:25,142
Mind if I roast this?
634
00:37:25,276 --> 00:37:26,811
Do you know how they make those?
635
00:37:26,944 --> 00:37:28,913
Machines make those.
636
00:37:29,046 --> 00:37:30,114
This was all Chub had.
637
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,683
It's gluten-free.
638
00:37:32,817 --> 00:37:33,817
Umm...
639
00:37:33,851 --> 00:37:35,620
you might wanna...
640
00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:37,831
Yeah, I'm just not used to
cooking my own meals, so...
641
00:37:37,855 --> 00:37:40,324
I guess I should start
trying now, you know.
642
00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:41,458
Hey, I like your bear.
643
00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:43,261
- What's his name?
- Thanks.
644
00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:45,329
This is Rowdy.
645
00:37:45,463 --> 00:37:47,832
Short for McRowdy. He's Irish.
646
00:37:47,965 --> 00:37:49,467
Aww. He's so cute.
647
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,270
- I just wanna touch him. I...
- Shh.
648
00:37:52,403 --> 00:37:53,537
He's sleeping.
649
00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:55,606
- Okay.
- You wanna know a secret?
650
00:37:55,740 --> 00:37:59,176
That country guy... He's
literally got nine minutes
651
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:01,012
and 23 frames to live.
652
00:38:01,145 --> 00:38:02,825
And if you want to stay alive around here,
653
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,617
you've got to pretend you're the potatoes.
654
00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:09,320
Come on. You know what I mean, right?
655
00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:10,454
Can you help me?
656
00:38:10,588 --> 00:38:12,523
Sure, I love helping people
657
00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:15,860
who've never learned to help themselves.
658
00:38:17,094 --> 00:38:18,829
♪ Yes, I'm living in the present ♪
659
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:21,241
♪ Close to making mills,
still be living like a peasant ♪
660
00:38:21,265 --> 00:38:23,834
♪ Following my dreams,
even when I'm still awake ♪
661
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:26,570
♪ All I show is love, but
they all be full of hate ♪
662
00:38:26,704 --> 00:38:29,073
♪ Everybody fake, it's
hard to find the real ♪
663
00:38:29,206 --> 00:38:31,742
♪ Look how many wack
rappers be signing a deal ♪
664
00:38:31,876 --> 00:38:33,916
♪ Look how many homeless
people be feeling a meal ♪
665
00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:35,880
♪ But the mother... ♪ -No, no, no, no, no.
666
00:38:36,013 --> 00:38:38,649
There's something that
probably bothered you. All right.
667
00:38:38,783 --> 00:38:40,318
Not near the ocean.
668
00:38:40,451 --> 00:38:42,887
Everybody has a house near the ocean.
669
00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:46,457
- My house will be on the ocean!
- Yes, sir.
670
00:38:46,590 --> 00:38:48,292
How's this?
671
00:38:48,426 --> 00:38:49,426
Is this helping you?
672
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:50,570
Whippy sticks in your face?
673
00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:52,029
Those sticks are going so fast.
674
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,632
You're like a praying
mantis hopped up on caffeine!
675
00:38:54,765 --> 00:38:56,443
- Come on, Emma!
- Could you just slow down?
676
00:38:56,467 --> 00:38:57,678
God, I didn't do anything to you.
677
00:38:57,702 --> 00:38:59,537
Why are you coming at me like this?
678
00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:01,439
You've got five seconds.
679
00:39:01,572 --> 00:39:03,974
Four, three. What? Oh.
680
00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:06,010
Good instincts. We can work with that.
681
00:39:06,143 --> 00:39:08,045
Okay, cool. We're done, right?
682
00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:09,347
What's for dinner?
683
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:10,824
I've really worked up an appetite.
684
00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:13,351
Oh, I know. Working out makes me ravenous.
685
00:39:13,484 --> 00:39:15,853
- I made us burgers.
- Oh, thank you!
686
00:39:15,986 --> 00:39:17,388
I'm starved.
687
00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:20,858
Can you fly, Emma?
688
00:39:20,991 --> 00:39:23,160
Breaking news... You can't!
689
00:39:23,294 --> 00:39:24,462
Are you serious?
690
00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:27,164
Mmm, this is so good!
691
00:39:27,298 --> 00:39:28,733
You should really have some.
692
00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:31,535
Oh, wait. You're in a
swamp surrounded by gators.
693
00:39:31,669 --> 00:39:33,404
Hey! No, you stop.
694
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:35,439
No!
695
00:39:38,776 --> 00:39:41,879
I could have been severely killed.
696
00:39:42,012 --> 00:39:44,582
I saw this movie once,
called "Windbreakers."
697
00:39:44,715 --> 00:39:47,451
The only thing left to eat were beans.
698
00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:48,953
The aliens couldn't see or hear,
699
00:39:49,086 --> 00:39:52,323
but they could smell farts
from, like, a mile away.
700
00:39:52,456 --> 00:39:53,491
Okay.
701
00:39:53,624 --> 00:39:55,226
It was such a good movie.
702
00:39:55,359 --> 00:39:59,430
It motivated me to learn
the way of the woods.
703
00:39:59,563 --> 00:40:01,132
Oh, thank you!
704
00:40:02,533 --> 00:40:03,834
Still can't fly, eh?
705
00:40:03,968 --> 00:40:05,936
God dang it! I didn't do anything to you!
706
00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:08,439
I know! That's why I'm helping!
707
00:40:11,876 --> 00:40:13,010
Hyah!
708
00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:14,245
Hoo!
709
00:40:19,717 --> 00:40:21,952
- Ow!
- Ha!
710
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:27,892
♪ Sometimes in life, you
have to make a stand ♪
711
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:32,263
♪ 'Cause you know that
only the strong survive ♪
712
00:40:32,396 --> 00:40:33,931
Laser!
713
00:40:34,064 --> 00:40:35,132
Sword!
714
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:37,368
♪ When it's time to face the fire ♪
715
00:40:37,501 --> 00:40:39,336
♪ You're walking on the wire ♪
716
00:40:39,470 --> 00:40:42,840
♪ And no one's there
to catch you if you fall ♪
717
00:40:42,973 --> 00:40:44,909
♪ You've got to know that you ♪
718
00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,178
♪ You know you're never wrong ♪
719
00:40:47,311 --> 00:40:48,779
Wow. Good shot.
720
00:40:48,913 --> 00:40:51,248
Thanks. I, uh... I didn't mean to shoot...
721
00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:53,317
Oh, no, I'm sure you didn't.
722
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:54,919
Yeah, miss all the enemies,
723
00:40:55,052 --> 00:40:58,756
but blow away the person
who actually wants to help you.
724
00:40:58,889 --> 00:41:00,591
- So, now what?
- Just two more things.
725
00:41:00,724 --> 00:41:04,428
Oh, my God. When I asked,
"Now what," I didn't mean for real.
726
00:41:06,597 --> 00:41:09,099
Now, this is what I'm talking about!
727
00:41:09,233 --> 00:41:10,401
Look at that view!
728
00:41:10,534 --> 00:41:11,669
Yeah, it's real nice.
729
00:41:11,802 --> 00:41:13,003
It's to die for.
730
00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:15,005
I mean, I wouldn't die for it, but...
731
00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:16,607
I do want to change the lamps.
732
00:41:16,740 --> 00:41:18,218
- Yes, sir.
- We need to swap out the rugs,
733
00:41:18,242 --> 00:41:19,753
and I don't like any
of the lighting fixtures.
734
00:41:19,777 --> 00:41:21,297
- Yes, sir.
- And we need to commission
735
00:41:21,412 --> 00:41:23,681
an artist to paint a
larger-than-life portrait of me.
736
00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:25,174
- Yes, sir.
- We need to switch out
737
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:26,993
- the scones. The sconces.
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
738
00:41:27,017 --> 00:41:28,786
- The house needs more me.
- Yes, sir.
739
00:41:28,919 --> 00:41:30,754
You can do this.
740
00:41:30,888 --> 00:41:33,757
Just take your hand and throw it!
741
00:41:33,891 --> 00:41:36,560
This is the portal to my fans.
742
00:41:36,694 --> 00:41:39,430
There are hundreds of millions of people
743
00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:41,165
waiting for my content.
744
00:41:41,298 --> 00:41:43,801
Uh, hello? Your fans are all dead.
745
00:41:43,934 --> 00:41:46,070
It is the last luxury item I own.
746
00:41:46,203 --> 00:41:49,139
You know, I was just starting
to admire your willpower
747
00:41:49,273 --> 00:41:50,407
and threshold for pain.
748
00:41:50,541 --> 00:41:52,142
Becoming one with the woods.
749
00:41:52,276 --> 00:41:55,980
I was even gonna show you
"Windbreakers," but now...
750
00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,283
Just let me keep it, please!
751
00:41:59,416 --> 00:42:01,118
All my passwords and selfies are on here,
752
00:42:01,252 --> 00:42:03,530
and one day, the platforms
will be back, and when they do,
753
00:42:03,554 --> 00:42:06,457
I'll be good to go, and,
plus, my dad might call.
754
00:42:06,590 --> 00:42:07,630
Has he called you lately?
755
00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:09,994
Well, no, but...
756
00:42:10,127 --> 00:42:11,896
What's the last thing I need to do?
757
00:42:12,029 --> 00:42:14,632
Come on. You're gonna love this.
758
00:42:25,743 --> 00:42:29,079
Time to kick some past-ass.
759
00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:31,048
Pasta ass.
760
00:42:31,181 --> 00:42:33,551
N-Noodle bootle.
761
00:42:33,684 --> 00:42:36,387
You know what I mean.
762
00:42:51,902 --> 00:42:54,772
This just in... The noodles
have now incapacitated
763
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:57,174
all of our military bases, and radar shows
764
00:42:57,308 --> 00:43:00,611
they are now making their
starch way to foreign land.
765
00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:02,780
That's completely pre-pasta-rous.
766
00:43:02,913 --> 00:43:05,215
Heh. Pasta.
767
00:43:06,917 --> 00:43:08,652
I think what you meant to say
768
00:43:08,786 --> 00:43:11,622
was, that's tortellini pre-pasta-rous!
769
00:43:16,827 --> 00:43:18,929
And now for an exclusive clip from Tubi's
770
00:43:19,063 --> 00:43:21,999
upcoming hit movie "Windbreakers."
771
00:43:40,951 --> 00:43:43,087
Well, look who done got a makeover here.
772
00:43:43,220 --> 00:43:45,856
- Oh, Lord.
- Hey, that's my leather outfit.
773
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,359
- Pasta ain't got a chance.
- Where's the whip?
774
00:43:48,492 --> 00:43:49,660
Halfway, what's the word?
775
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:51,895
We're... We're moving into Pensacola.
776
00:43:52,029 --> 00:43:53,597
That's where the signal is coming from,
777
00:43:53,731 --> 00:43:55,065
so we hope to find humans.
778
00:43:55,199 --> 00:43:56,667
I'm Kent Trey, God damn it,
779
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:57,844
and let me tell you something.
780
00:43:57,868 --> 00:43:59,169
Hope?
781
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:01,639
That rhymes with "dope,"
which is what we are.
782
00:44:01,772 --> 00:44:02,972
Dopes headed right into a trap
783
00:44:03,073 --> 00:44:05,142
where noodles will dine on our flesh.
784
00:44:05,275 --> 00:44:07,311
And I'm not interested in becoming dinner
785
00:44:07,444 --> 00:44:08,746
for what I eat for dinner!
786
00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:11,115
You have done nothing
to help out around here.
787
00:44:11,248 --> 00:44:14,918
All you do is complain, and
it's getting extremely tiresome.
788
00:44:15,052 --> 00:44:17,054
Yeah, why don't you
go take a freaking nap?
789
00:44:17,187 --> 00:44:18,889
You are on my last nerve.
790
00:44:19,023 --> 00:44:22,426
Mary, stow it. No more killing on my boat.
791
00:44:24,461 --> 00:44:26,163
Now, as we know,
792
00:44:26,296 --> 00:44:28,298
the noodles are fast,
but they can be killed.
793
00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:31,001
They usually go for the
esophagus to cut off your air,
794
00:44:31,135 --> 00:44:33,037
expand your throat until it tears open,
795
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,705
and then enter the lungs,
796
00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:36,549
exploding your arteries
into a pile of diarrhea
797
00:44:36,573 --> 00:44:39,209
that would make flies throw
up, and the stench from the vomit
798
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,012
is so acidic that it's
like a cloud of sarin gas
799
00:44:42,146 --> 00:44:44,081
that hunts out any
living thing in the vicinity,
800
00:44:44,214 --> 00:44:46,817
and it craves the pleasure
of dissolving all human meat
801
00:44:46,950 --> 00:44:49,753
into a rancid gumbo of scorched humanity
802
00:44:49,887 --> 00:44:51,822
from which there is no repent!
803
00:44:55,292 --> 00:44:57,528
Look, y'all, it's a new world out there.
804
00:44:57,661 --> 00:44:59,229
What he says is true.
805
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:02,733
Chickens fear the South 'cause
of our delectable fried chicken.
806
00:45:02,866 --> 00:45:04,334
We put 'em in that hot grease.
807
00:45:04,468 --> 00:45:07,771
Pigs fear the South 'cause
of our delicious barbecues
808
00:45:07,905 --> 00:45:09,273
and our cookouts.
809
00:45:09,406 --> 00:45:13,844
Now humans fear the
South 'cause of the pasta.
810
00:45:13,977 --> 00:45:17,548
Evolution has moved on to a new level.
811
00:45:17,681 --> 00:45:20,851
It's a food fight to the death,
812
00:45:20,984 --> 00:45:24,788
and we are the food.
813
00:45:24,922 --> 00:45:28,192
Rest in shifts. We land in six hours.
814
00:45:32,196 --> 00:45:34,465
Now, did Vermicelli's shipment come in?
815
00:45:34,598 --> 00:45:35,766
Yep, sure did.
816
00:45:35,899 --> 00:45:37,401
Two-day delivery. He's slowing down.
817
00:45:37,534 --> 00:45:41,638
Bobby, hit me with the
cheese. I've got the sniffles.
818
00:45:41,772 --> 00:45:44,942
You know, if we destroy every human,
819
00:45:45,075 --> 00:45:47,911
we may miss the opportunity
to learn from them...
820
00:45:48,045 --> 00:45:51,281
like proper ways to construct a house...
821
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:53,217
install plumbing.
822
00:45:53,350 --> 00:45:54,451
Humans...
823
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,888
Whew! Ahem. Oh. Oh.
824
00:45:58,021 --> 00:46:01,558
Humans are just speed
bumps on our path to utopia.
825
00:46:01,692 --> 00:46:02,793
Our pastapopia!
826
00:46:02,926 --> 00:46:04,094
- Write that down.
- Okay.
827
00:46:04,228 --> 00:46:07,064
We are the ruling class now, Bob.
828
00:46:07,197 --> 00:46:08,665
♪ ...have some fun ♪ -Uh...
829
00:46:08,799 --> 00:46:12,636
♪ You know, some girls
get anything they want ♪
830
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:13,871
♪ They say they won't... ♪
831
00:46:14,004 --> 00:46:15,539
Damn it, my daughter.
832
00:46:15,672 --> 00:46:17,241
I need to find my daughter.
833
00:46:17,374 --> 00:46:19,076
I told her I'd get her a birthday gift,
834
00:46:19,209 --> 00:46:21,845
and I've been so busy doing all of this.
835
00:46:21,979 --> 00:46:25,048
Hey, wait. Let's throw her a
party. Can you set that up?
836
00:46:25,182 --> 00:46:26,683
Sure. What's she look like?
837
00:46:26,817 --> 00:46:30,721
You told me your mama used
Emma Flour when she baked,
838
00:46:30,854 --> 00:46:35,259
so you should know damn
well what she looks like!
839
00:46:35,392 --> 00:46:37,427
Okay, you don't have to yell.
840
00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:38,929
All the yelling.
841
00:46:40,831 --> 00:46:42,466
Welcome home, Bow Tie Squads.
842
00:46:42,599 --> 00:46:44,268
Way to kick ass in San Francisco.
843
00:46:44,401 --> 00:46:46,637
Marinara baths are heated and ready
844
00:46:46,770 --> 00:46:48,372
for soaking your tired wings.
845
00:46:48,505 --> 00:46:51,508
Your continued service
of implementing Manicotti's
846
00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:52,910
deranged goal
847
00:46:53,043 --> 00:46:55,546
does not go without recognition.
848
00:46:55,679 --> 00:46:57,047
Olive oil saunas are ready
849
00:46:57,181 --> 00:46:58,982
and prepared for your enjoyment,
850
00:46:59,116 --> 00:47:00,717
and it's free cheese day.
851
00:47:00,851 --> 00:47:04,788
Here at Manicotti Kingdom,
we amore your brave-iole.
852
00:47:13,030 --> 00:47:14,932
What's got you lost in thoughts?
853
00:47:15,065 --> 00:47:16,834
I was just thinking about my dad.
854
00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:18,602
I wish he were here, but...
855
00:47:18,735 --> 00:47:20,304
But he ain't. He's dead.
856
00:47:20,437 --> 00:47:23,173
I mean, even if he were
here, he wouldn't be really here.
857
00:47:23,307 --> 00:47:28,045
So having him not around is
sort of like when he was around.
858
00:47:28,178 --> 00:47:30,280
Smart phones done made people dumber.
859
00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:32,449
What if you're wrong about this signal?
860
00:47:32,583 --> 00:47:33,750
What if this is a trap?
861
00:47:33,884 --> 00:47:35,684
It's only a trap if you
don't know about it.
862
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:37,321
And if you think it might be a trap,
863
00:47:37,454 --> 00:47:40,390
you're dumb enough to
walk into it unprepared
864
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:43,060
then that's just plain dumb.
865
00:47:44,595 --> 00:47:47,497
- Cover them chickens!
- Incoming!
866
00:47:47,631 --> 00:47:48,765
Food fight!
867
00:47:48,899 --> 00:47:51,768
Who ordered the damn spaghetti?
868
00:47:51,902 --> 00:47:53,303
I did it! I did it!
869
00:47:53,437 --> 00:47:54,805
I made fire!
870
00:47:54,938 --> 00:47:56,139
Oh, wow!
871
00:47:56,273 --> 00:47:58,542
That's really, really great, Emma!
872
00:47:58,675 --> 00:48:00,744
Now, you see up here?
873
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,846
You see all these noodles?
874
00:48:02,980 --> 00:48:04,281
They want to kill us.
875
00:48:04,414 --> 00:48:06,750
It'd be awesome if you could help.
876
00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:08,485
Brain eaters, 2:00!
877
00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:10,354
Now, where the hell's my damn laser arm?
878
00:48:10,487 --> 00:48:13,223
I left it right here yesterday.
879
00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:17,294
Whoever took my laser
arm better bring it right now,
880
00:48:17,427 --> 00:48:20,430
or you're gonna get a laser
where the sun don't shine!
881
00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:27,504
All right, everybody. Relax. I'm here.
882
00:48:27,638 --> 00:48:29,339
Kent Trey.
883
00:48:29,473 --> 00:48:32,442
Shit! No! My arm!
884
00:48:34,177 --> 00:48:36,413
It's all right. I've got another one.
885
00:48:38,982 --> 00:48:41,051
Hey, look! Twinsies!
886
00:48:41,184 --> 00:48:43,053
- Chub! Hurry up!
- I got it!
887
00:48:43,186 --> 00:48:44,564
It doesn't look like you got it, but...
888
00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:46,390
- I got it!
- Stop dragging ass. Let's go!
889
00:48:46,523 --> 00:48:48,225
I said I got it, and I got it!
890
00:48:48,358 --> 00:48:49,869
Okay, well, it didn't look
like you did, so I just...
891
00:48:49,893 --> 00:48:51,571
I'm doing the best... I'm
working as fast as I can.
892
00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:53,997
Uh! Argh!
893
00:48:54,131 --> 00:48:56,800
Hell naw!
894
00:48:56,934 --> 00:48:59,569
Aw! Right in the genius.
895
00:49:06,677 --> 00:49:08,879
Losing my breath. Ah, ugh...
896
00:49:09,012 --> 00:49:10,047
- Chub!
- Chub!
897
00:49:10,180 --> 00:49:12,482
- Onions! Now!
- What about me?!
898
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,384
What about you?
899
00:49:15,652 --> 00:49:17,087
- Hey!
- Say good night, fatty!
900
00:49:17,220 --> 00:49:18,522
- No, you idiot.
- No, stop!
901
00:49:18,655 --> 00:49:20,099
- What are you doing?
- We're gonna save him.
902
00:49:20,123 --> 00:49:21,224
Look, he's gonna turn...
903
00:49:21,358 --> 00:49:22,635
He's gonna turn into one of them,
904
00:49:22,659 --> 00:49:24,219
and I'm gonna kill it to death so hard,
905
00:49:24,294 --> 00:49:25,705
it's gonna hurt the
whole time I'm killing him!
906
00:49:25,729 --> 00:49:27,230
And I'm gonna write a song about it,
907
00:49:27,364 --> 00:49:29,399
and it's gonna go to the top...
908
00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:34,871
Kent Trey is not into this.
909
00:49:35,005 --> 00:49:36,907
Help, guys. Please.
910
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:38,241
This thing's coming fast!
911
00:49:38,375 --> 00:49:40,544
Help! I'm peein' in the water here!
912
00:49:42,112 --> 00:49:43,447
Thank you! Thank you!
913
00:49:43,580 --> 00:49:46,650
Now, be a doll and help ol' Kent Trey up.
914
00:49:47,617 --> 00:49:49,553
Oh, God, I'm glad we're safe now.
915
00:49:49,686 --> 00:49:51,355
Uh...
916
00:49:54,091 --> 00:49:56,760
Um... Oh, well. I tried.
917
00:49:56,893 --> 00:49:57,995
Thanks for the "heads" -up.
918
00:49:58,128 --> 00:50:00,063
Oh, woop. It's a head. Ha ha.
919
00:50:00,197 --> 00:50:02,165
I'll go on "a head" and get rid of this.
920
00:50:02,299 --> 00:50:04,868
He'll never get "a head" -lining gig now.
921
00:50:07,938 --> 00:50:11,775
I'll guess he'll "beheading"
off to the great one up above.
922
00:50:11,908 --> 00:50:13,243
- Umm...
- That old kid's finally
923
00:50:13,377 --> 00:50:14,778
- "head" of the class.
- Yeah.
924
00:50:14,911 --> 00:50:17,547
Talk about cutting your
head off to spite your ego.
925
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:20,083
- All right, okay.
- He's gonna make it!
926
00:50:20,217 --> 00:50:21,577
How'd you know onions would work?
927
00:50:21,618 --> 00:50:23,887
When I was a kid, I used to take
928
00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:26,857
long, hot, steamy onion baths.
929
00:50:26,990 --> 00:50:28,325
Always made me feel better.
930
00:50:31,495 --> 00:50:33,397
Wow, thanks. I feel great.
931
00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:37,534
A little swollen, but
overall really, really great.
932
00:50:37,667 --> 00:50:39,469
Do I look okay?
933
00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:40,670
We got company!
934
00:50:40,804 --> 00:50:43,173
It's the son-of-a-bitching pasta regatta.
935
00:50:43,306 --> 00:50:44,841
Oh, my God, there's too many of them.
936
00:50:44,975 --> 00:50:48,678
How in the hell these noodles
know how to build a boat?
937
00:50:50,013 --> 00:50:53,083
I see what they did.
They took the mostaccioli,
938
00:50:53,216 --> 00:50:56,119
made them into tubes like a pontoon.
939
00:50:56,253 --> 00:50:58,455
Oh, my God, this is real genius.
940
00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:00,957
This is fine craftsmanship.
941
00:51:18,408 --> 00:51:20,210
Well, well, well!
942
00:51:20,343 --> 00:51:21,578
What do we have here?
943
00:51:21,711 --> 00:51:23,246
Humans, sir. That's what we have.
944
00:51:23,380 --> 00:51:25,048
I know what they are, Bob!
945
00:51:25,182 --> 00:51:26,817
I used to be one, as did you.
946
00:51:26,950 --> 00:51:27,950
Yes, sir.
947
00:51:28,018 --> 00:51:30,754
So, humans, welcome to my lair!
948
00:51:32,823 --> 00:51:34,925
I assume you were sailing the seas,
949
00:51:35,058 --> 00:51:38,161
looking to build a resistance to fight me.
950
00:51:38,295 --> 00:51:41,565
Make no mistake... I am un-fightable,
951
00:51:41,698 --> 00:51:45,502
and the likes of your kind
will never stop the Pastalution.
952
00:51:45,635 --> 00:51:49,806
Now, let's see what we're up against.
953
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,709
Mm...
954
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:54,978
Filled with grease.
955
00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:57,380
Shave him and reduce him for fuel.
956
00:52:00,917 --> 00:52:04,421
Oh! Spicy.
957
00:52:04,554 --> 00:52:06,823
Grind her into pepper flakes.
958
00:52:08,992 --> 00:52:09,993
Plastic.
959
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,528
Resin.
960
00:52:11,661 --> 00:52:12,696
Aluminum.
961
00:52:12,829 --> 00:52:14,798
Put him directly in the recycling bin.
962
00:52:14,931 --> 00:52:16,133
Save the legs.
963
00:52:16,266 --> 00:52:18,568
We can use those for our end tables.
964
00:52:18,702 --> 00:52:21,071
And you...
965
00:52:21,204 --> 00:52:23,140
Emma?
966
00:52:23,273 --> 00:52:24,941
- Dad?
- Dad?!
967
00:52:26,476 --> 00:52:28,512
Your dad is a damn manicotti?
968
00:52:28,645 --> 00:52:30,814
- Silence, Chubby!
- Hell naw!
969
00:52:30,947 --> 00:52:31,948
Is that you?
970
00:52:32,082 --> 00:52:33,316
Look, everything's cool.
971
00:52:33,450 --> 00:52:34,930
I've been meaning to call you, but...
972
00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:37,220
But you've been too busy
wreaking havoc on mankind?
973
00:52:37,354 --> 00:52:38,755
No, no, it's not like that at all.
974
00:52:38,889 --> 00:52:40,969
I've been... Well, yes,
it's a little bit like that.
975
00:52:41,024 --> 00:52:43,026
I mean, I've gone a little overboard.
976
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,394
A little overboard?
977
00:52:44,528 --> 00:52:46,096
My finger's in a lot of pots.
978
00:52:46,229 --> 00:52:49,399
One of them happens to be
wreaking havoc on mankind,
979
00:52:49,533 --> 00:52:51,535
but I'm doing a lot of other stuff, too.
980
00:52:51,668 --> 00:52:53,970
I've been co-composing some music.
981
00:52:54,104 --> 00:52:55,839
You heard the walking music.
982
00:52:55,972 --> 00:52:57,240
I built a house.
983
00:52:57,374 --> 00:52:59,543
I'm doing all of this for you, probably.
984
00:52:59,676 --> 00:53:03,013
You ruined my birthday
party, all my friends
985
00:53:03,146 --> 00:53:04,781
exploded into noodle bits.
986
00:53:04,915 --> 00:53:08,451
Now we're on the run,
all of our assets are gone,
987
00:53:08,585 --> 00:53:11,655
and you know how much I love assets.
988
00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:13,523
They tried to take my phone,
989
00:53:13,657 --> 00:53:16,359
and you promised you'd
call, and now look at you!
990
00:53:16,493 --> 00:53:17,794
You're a frickin' noodle!
991
00:53:17,928 --> 00:53:19,930
Way to be a dad. Good job.
992
00:53:20,063 --> 00:53:21,063
Really nice parenting.
993
00:53:21,097 --> 00:53:22,097
Excuse me!
994
00:53:22,165 --> 00:53:23,833
This is an A-B conversation.
995
00:53:23,967 --> 00:53:25,635
"C" your way out of it.
996
00:53:25,769 --> 00:53:28,605
Remove them from my sight!
997
00:53:28,738 --> 00:53:30,273
Bring her to my chambers.
998
00:53:30,407 --> 00:53:33,777
And what do we say?
999
00:53:33,910 --> 00:53:35,011
Please.
1000
00:53:35,145 --> 00:53:36,513
Are we polite enough now?
1001
00:53:36,646 --> 00:53:39,616
God forbid we're curt around the prisoners.
1002
00:53:39,749 --> 00:53:42,419
Young missy, if you don't
mind, would you please allow me
1003
00:53:42,552 --> 00:53:44,721
to escort you to Manicotti's chamber?
1004
00:53:44,854 --> 00:53:46,556
What's gonna happen to my friends?
1005
00:53:46,690 --> 00:53:50,060
Well... they're probably
not gonna make it,
1006
00:53:50,193 --> 00:53:51,528
but you never know.
1007
00:53:51,661 --> 00:53:54,297
Like, when a pig squeal
too much, you don't know
1008
00:53:54,431 --> 00:53:56,533
if she's lovin' the
mud or if she's in labor
1009
00:53:56,666 --> 00:53:59,135
or if she's lovin' the mud in labor.
1010
00:53:59,269 --> 00:54:01,271
You know?
1011
00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:04,841
Human dolts.
1012
00:54:04,975 --> 00:54:09,613
You think a gluten-free
world is going to save you,
1013
00:54:09,746 --> 00:54:12,182
make you live longer?
1014
00:54:12,315 --> 00:54:15,986
The joke's on you.
1015
00:54:16,119 --> 00:54:17,921
And also you.
1016
00:54:18,054 --> 00:54:19,289
And you as well.
1017
00:54:19,422 --> 00:54:22,859
So you are the big deal? "Manicotti?"
1018
00:54:22,993 --> 00:54:25,095
You look like a half-baked lasagna
1019
00:54:25,228 --> 00:54:28,932
that someone dropped in
the gas station parking lot.
1020
00:54:29,065 --> 00:54:30,467
Silence!
1021
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,870
Your descriptions are
fictional, and I might add,
1022
00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:37,741
you'll never make good
writers of books that will sell.
1023
00:54:37,874 --> 00:54:40,677
I am writing the history here!
1024
00:54:40,810 --> 00:54:45,915
Do not underestimate my
power to choose your fate.
1025
00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:48,703
Can you repeat that? We weren't listening.
1026
00:54:48,752 --> 00:54:50,654
Yeah, I was busy looking for my shotgun.
1027
00:54:50,787 --> 00:54:52,422
Plus, we only listen to smart people,
1028
00:54:52,555 --> 00:54:53,857
and you ain't one of them.
1029
00:54:53,990 --> 00:54:55,710
And I was wonderin' if y'all had a toilet.
1030
00:54:55,825 --> 00:54:58,428
All I ate today was this
mackerel and whipped cream,
1031
00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:01,331
and, uh, it be barking at the back door.
1032
00:55:01,464 --> 00:55:02,732
You understand what I'm sayin'?
1033
00:55:02,866 --> 00:55:04,506
The toilet is down the hall to the left,
1034
00:55:04,634 --> 00:55:07,170
and your shotgun is somewhere...
1035
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:08,805
It's somewhere.
1036
00:55:08,938 --> 00:55:10,750
Do you remember the part
where I threatened your fate?
1037
00:55:10,774 --> 00:55:13,510
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard
some of that. I don't know.
1038
00:55:13,643 --> 00:55:15,111
Where the toilet at again?
1039
00:55:15,245 --> 00:55:16,646
I know you just told me, man,
1040
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:18,557
but, you know, in between
keeping my butt tight
1041
00:55:18,581 --> 00:55:21,518
and all that other
blah, blah, blah, I forgot.
1042
00:55:21,651 --> 00:55:24,521
The toilet is down the hall to the left.
1043
00:55:24,654 --> 00:55:27,524
I have missiles to launch, armies to form,
1044
00:55:27,657 --> 00:55:30,193
and I'm trying to bring back gluten,
1045
00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:32,996
which has been unfairly banned.
1046
00:55:33,129 --> 00:55:34,497
Let us know if you need anything.
1047
00:55:34,631 --> 00:55:36,299
Your day guard will be Steven.
1048
00:55:36,433 --> 00:55:37,834
Aah! Damn it!
1049
00:55:37,967 --> 00:55:41,538
Were you born stupid,
or did you take lessons?!
1050
00:55:43,973 --> 00:55:45,342
Okay.
1051
00:55:45,475 --> 00:55:46,795
Any response to what we just saw?
1052
00:55:46,843 --> 00:55:49,312
That's the guy who started all this crap?
1053
00:55:49,446 --> 00:55:52,148
He's the reason God created spankings.
1054
00:55:52,282 --> 00:55:54,050
What he needs is a home...
1055
00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:55,318
with help.
1056
00:55:55,452 --> 00:55:58,121
I'm gonna spank his ass.
1057
00:56:00,557 --> 00:56:02,225
Mmm!
1058
00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:03,360
Pastini.
1059
00:56:03,493 --> 00:56:05,662
My favorite.
1060
00:56:07,397 --> 00:56:08,832
Y'all feel the floor heatin' up?
1061
00:56:08,965 --> 00:56:11,134
I have a bad feeling about this.
1062
00:56:11,267 --> 00:56:12,602
Yeah, me too.
1063
00:56:12,736 --> 00:56:15,472
I think we're about to
be human noodle soup.
1064
00:56:28,318 --> 00:56:29,686
Emma, hey, hey!
1065
00:56:29,819 --> 00:56:31,321
I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
1066
00:56:31,454 --> 00:56:33,089
I was busy yelling at the prisoners,
1067
00:56:33,223 --> 00:56:35,692
and all these guys need stuff all the time.
1068
00:56:35,825 --> 00:56:38,928
Did they bring any snacks or water for you?
1069
00:56:41,631 --> 00:56:44,534
What do you think of the place?
1070
00:56:44,667 --> 00:56:46,369
I mean, what do you want me to say?
1071
00:56:46,503 --> 00:56:49,439
It's big and noodle-y.
1072
00:56:49,572 --> 00:56:52,041
Yeah. I love space, you know.
1073
00:56:52,175 --> 00:56:54,511
Rooms where the walls are far away.
1074
00:56:54,644 --> 00:56:57,080
Hard to touch from the middle.
1075
00:56:57,213 --> 00:56:58,348
You look good.
1076
00:56:58,481 --> 00:56:59,616
Did you lose weight?
1077
00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:02,619
No, hold it. You dyed your hair.
1078
00:57:02,752 --> 00:57:03,853
Well, I did dye my hair...
1079
00:57:03,987 --> 00:57:05,722
- Oh!
- ...and got a new outfit.
1080
00:57:05,855 --> 00:57:07,223
- Oh.
- Oh, my God, I can make fire
1081
00:57:07,357 --> 00:57:08,458
- now, and I...
- Mm.
1082
00:57:08,591 --> 00:57:10,026
- Oh, I have swords and...
- Ah.
1083
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:12,662
Actually you know what?
1084
00:57:12,796 --> 00:57:15,398
You wouldn't know because
you never paid attention
1085
00:57:15,532 --> 00:57:16,933
- to what I was doing.
- Ah.
1086
00:57:17,066 --> 00:57:19,169
All you ever cared about
was your pasta dishes
1087
00:57:19,302 --> 00:57:20,703
and elevating your ego.
1088
00:57:20,837 --> 00:57:22,906
You just threw money my
way to keep me occupied,
1089
00:57:23,039 --> 00:57:26,075
and I grew up a spoiled, self-centered girl
1090
00:57:26,209 --> 00:57:27,644
because of you.
1091
00:57:27,777 --> 00:57:29,846
I was just taking care of
you the best way I knew.
1092
00:57:29,979 --> 00:57:32,682
Look, I know you might think
I've gone overboard, and...
1093
00:57:32,816 --> 00:57:34,851
I just can't stand losing
1094
00:57:34,984 --> 00:57:38,488
because of some stupid ban on gluten.
1095
00:57:38,621 --> 00:57:40,623
That's what's driving my insanity.
1096
00:57:40,757 --> 00:57:42,792
Emma, look at me.
1097
00:57:42,926 --> 00:57:46,463
Underneath all this goop
and carbonara and marinara,
1098
00:57:46,596 --> 00:57:49,432
I'm still just your daddy.
1099
00:57:49,566 --> 00:57:51,100
And I'm your daughter.
1100
00:57:51,234 --> 00:57:54,070
Shouldn't that be more important
than winning pasta contests?
1101
00:57:54,204 --> 00:57:55,772
No... Yes, of course!
1102
00:57:55,905 --> 00:57:58,575
Children are way more important than food.
1103
00:57:58,708 --> 00:58:00,076
I mean, everyone knows that.
1104
00:58:00,210 --> 00:58:01,610
You can go a week without laughing,
1105
00:58:01,711 --> 00:58:03,179
but not a week without food.
1106
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,515
That's why I invented Santa Claus.
1107
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:07,083
Hmm?
1108
00:58:07,217 --> 00:58:09,586
You know, getting everything
I ever wanted was nice.
1109
00:58:09,719 --> 00:58:12,121
But I realize now that that didn't matter.
1110
00:58:12,255 --> 00:58:13,623
None of it mattered.
1111
00:58:13,756 --> 00:58:16,626
I'm alive, and that's all
that matters right now.
1112
00:58:16,759 --> 00:58:18,695
We each survive in our own way.
1113
00:58:18,828 --> 00:58:21,865
I didn't choose this. It
was a stupid accident.
1114
00:58:21,998 --> 00:58:24,133
And I want to share it with you.
1115
00:58:24,267 --> 00:58:26,269
I can turn you as well.
1116
00:58:26,402 --> 00:58:27,604
Together we can show
1117
00:58:27,737 --> 00:58:31,174
the world a gluten-filled paradise.
1118
00:58:31,307 --> 00:58:32,709
Will you join me?
1119
00:58:32,842 --> 00:58:35,712
Please, Emma, become a noodle.
1120
00:58:35,845 --> 00:58:38,014
I love you, Dad,
1121
00:58:38,147 --> 00:58:41,851
but you are out of your frickin' mind!
1122
00:58:41,985 --> 00:58:43,653
Damn it. Guards!
1123
00:58:43,786 --> 00:58:45,722
What? Hey!
1124
00:58:45,855 --> 00:58:47,824
You will be like me, Emma.
1125
00:58:47,957 --> 00:58:52,128
Exactly like me, and you will love it.
1126
00:58:52,262 --> 00:58:55,532
Take her to the Electric Pickle Pit!
1127
00:58:55,665 --> 00:58:57,600
- Gotta pee, gotta pee.
- Wait!
1128
00:58:57,734 --> 00:58:59,736
Person who needs to pee, let us out!
1129
00:58:59,869 --> 00:59:00,909
- Open the door!
- Oh, boy.
1130
00:59:01,004 --> 00:59:02,372
- Gotta pee!
- Come on, man!
1131
00:59:02,505 --> 00:59:04,641
You got the air on in here?
1132
00:59:53,790 --> 00:59:56,392
God, what is going on in there?
1133
01:00:07,337 --> 01:00:09,739
Hello?
1134
01:00:09,872 --> 01:00:11,074
Who's in there?
1135
01:00:11,207 --> 01:00:12,775
Oh, uh, yeah, it's... it's... it's us.
1136
01:00:12,909 --> 01:00:14,210
We're, uh, noodle guards.
1137
01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:16,446
The door won't open, and we're late for...
1138
01:00:16,579 --> 01:00:21,017
the thing that noodles
do at this time of day.
1139
01:00:21,150 --> 01:00:24,220
The hell you say. Hang on. I'll unlock it.
1140
01:00:24,354 --> 01:00:26,189
Let's see here...
1141
01:00:28,124 --> 01:00:31,060
Okay, we'll just keep, uh, tryin'.
1142
01:00:33,963 --> 01:00:36,332
Okay. Unlock...
1143
01:00:39,135 --> 01:00:41,270
Hey, how's it going with the unlocking?
1144
01:00:41,404 --> 01:00:43,573
Oh, it's fine. How are y'all doin'?
1145
01:00:43,706 --> 01:00:45,274
Open the damn door, doofus!
1146
01:00:45,408 --> 01:00:47,243
Not doing too... too good. Um...
1147
01:00:47,377 --> 01:00:49,217
It's getting a little
hard to breathe in here.
1148
01:00:49,245 --> 01:00:52,915
Try the key that says "Prison Cell Lock."
1149
01:00:53,049 --> 01:00:55,184
I bet that'll be the one.
1150
01:00:57,787 --> 01:01:00,189
Aw, hell yeah, you were right!
1151
01:01:00,990 --> 01:01:02,492
- Oh!
- Ohhh!
1152
01:01:02,625 --> 01:01:04,460
Oh, God, the mackerel!
1153
01:01:04,594 --> 01:01:06,062
They just left it here?
1154
01:01:06,195 --> 01:01:07,630
So stupid.
1155
01:01:07,764 --> 01:01:09,532
Hey, y'all ain't no noodle guards.
1156
01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:11,100
No, we're not.
1157
01:01:11,234 --> 01:01:13,002
So, will you please take us to Manicotti?
1158
01:01:13,136 --> 01:01:15,204
Aw, brother. You ain't gonna like him.
1159
01:01:15,338 --> 01:01:16,539
Uh...
1160
01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:20,376
Not everybody's your
buddy in buddyland, buddy.
1161
01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:21,744
He's probably in the hangar
1162
01:01:21,878 --> 01:01:23,413
waiting to launch the gluten missiles.
1163
01:01:23,546 --> 01:01:26,449
- Launch the what, you say?
- Yeah, he's got this big idea
1164
01:01:26,582 --> 01:01:28,484
to re-gluten the food chain.
1165
01:01:28,618 --> 01:01:29,686
Hurry up, Chub!
1166
01:01:29,819 --> 01:01:31,354
You can't rush this!
1167
01:01:31,487 --> 01:01:34,023
Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord, this is it!
1168
01:01:34,157 --> 01:01:35,858
- So, my name's Bob.
- Ugh!
1169
01:01:35,992 --> 01:01:38,461
- What's y'alls?
- I'm comin' home, Mama!
1170
01:01:42,398 --> 01:01:43,800
Hey!
1171
01:01:43,933 --> 01:01:46,235
What?
1172
01:01:46,369 --> 01:01:47,369
Ew, gross.
1173
01:01:47,470 --> 01:01:49,172
What the hell are you doing to me?
1174
01:01:49,305 --> 01:01:50,740
Stop it. What?
1175
01:01:50,873 --> 01:01:52,375
Ew.
1176
01:01:52,508 --> 01:01:53,810
No, please!
1177
01:01:53,943 --> 01:01:55,478
Attention, Noodloids.
1178
01:01:55,611 --> 01:01:59,649
It is time for your Mental Wellness Moment.
1179
01:01:59,782 --> 01:02:01,517
Assume the position.
1180
01:02:01,651 --> 01:02:04,487
Relax and breathe deeply.
1181
01:02:04,620 --> 01:02:08,524
Feel yourself becoming limp and overcooked.
1182
01:02:08,658 --> 01:02:13,429
Focus on your inner self
and wish the stress away.
1183
01:02:13,563 --> 01:02:17,667
Breathe in. Breathe out.
1184
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,671
Breathe in. Breathe out.
1185
01:02:21,804 --> 01:02:24,407
There you go.
1186
01:02:28,444 --> 01:02:29,812
Holy macaroni.
1187
01:02:29,946 --> 01:02:31,481
Is that a ship made of noodles?
1188
01:02:31,614 --> 01:02:35,752
It's a ship made of noodles,
but what kind of ship?
1189
01:02:35,885 --> 01:02:37,620
Do it has decks? Does it have floors?
1190
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:39,355
Does it have shuffleboard on it?
1191
01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:40,890
It looks like they're arming it.
1192
01:02:41,023 --> 01:02:42,291
I think they're arming it.
1193
01:02:42,425 --> 01:02:44,494
Please stop repeating everything I say.
1194
01:02:44,627 --> 01:02:47,263
- Halfway, what are those?
- Gluten missiles.
1195
01:02:47,396 --> 01:02:49,899
G2HO57 suspended in sucrose
1196
01:02:50,032 --> 01:02:51,701
with electromagnetic charges.
1197
01:02:51,834 --> 01:02:53,402
How do you know that?
1198
01:02:53,536 --> 01:02:56,072
Well, it says it right there
on the missile, shit-for-brains.
1199
01:02:56,205 --> 01:02:57,649
That's what I was trying to tell you.
1200
01:02:57,673 --> 01:02:59,273
And then you trying to just take credit.
1201
01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:00,877
That's what you always do, Halfway.
1202
01:03:01,010 --> 01:03:02,478
No, don't stop.
1203
01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:05,448
I'm just gonna go make
a plan to blow this shit up.
1204
01:03:05,581 --> 01:03:08,384
I saw it, but then you gonna
just open your big ol' mouth,
1205
01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,553
like you always know everything.
1206
01:03:31,707 --> 01:03:32,707
Aah! Dad!
1207
01:03:32,742 --> 01:03:33,810
Oh, hi.
1208
01:03:33,943 --> 01:03:35,845
It's you. Emma.
1209
01:03:35,978 --> 01:03:37,713
Hiii... there.
1210
01:03:37,847 --> 01:03:41,417
- Umm, where are you going?
- Why aren't you a noodle?
1211
01:03:41,551 --> 01:03:43,529
I thought we were putting
you in that pickle thing.
1212
01:03:43,553 --> 01:03:45,822
Oh, yeah. That was,
like, ridiculously easy
1213
01:03:45,955 --> 01:03:47,156
- to get out of.
- Damn it!
1214
01:03:47,290 --> 01:03:49,025
Dad, you can't re-gluten the world.
1215
01:03:49,158 --> 01:03:51,027
- Pretty sure I'm...
- Your plan is insane.
1216
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:53,196
Tell me how to reverse this.
1217
01:03:53,329 --> 01:03:56,232
Oh, no, yeah, yeah, there's
no reversing this magic.
1218
01:03:56,365 --> 01:03:59,268
I am 100% this way for life,
1219
01:03:59,402 --> 01:04:02,638
but, truth be told, I'm kind of digging it.
1220
01:04:02,772 --> 01:04:04,574
Well, you know what?
1221
01:04:04,707 --> 01:04:06,075
That's stupid.
1222
01:04:06,209 --> 01:04:09,045
You would slice your own
father with a shoe knife?
1223
01:04:09,178 --> 01:04:13,816
What stands before me is not my father.
1224
01:04:13,950 --> 01:04:15,718
I bought you those shoes.
1225
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:20,022
Gluten missiles engaged
and ready for launch.
1226
01:04:20,156 --> 01:04:22,625
You know what? I really
have to go address this.
1227
01:04:22,758 --> 01:04:25,061
Uh, let's remember where we left off.
1228
01:04:25,194 --> 01:04:26,662
So that was, you pulled it on me,
1229
01:04:26,796 --> 01:04:29,765
I questioned if you
would, and then you said
1230
01:04:29,899 --> 01:04:31,434
I wasn't your father anymore.
1231
01:04:31,567 --> 01:04:33,927
Let's just put a pin in it,
and we'll get back to it, okay?
1232
01:04:34,036 --> 01:04:36,873
Mwah. Okay, bye. Love you. Daddy loves you.
1233
01:04:37,006 --> 01:04:38,674
Halfway, I'll need you to puncture
1234
01:04:38,808 --> 01:04:40,128
those fuel tanks under the plane.
1235
01:04:40,209 --> 01:04:42,144
The fuel will spread
to those propane tanks.
1236
01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:44,447
And, Chub, you run an electric cable
1237
01:04:44,580 --> 01:04:46,215
from the propane to the junction box.
1238
01:04:46,349 --> 01:04:48,549
I'll connect that to the
satellite antenna on the roof.
1239
01:04:48,618 --> 01:04:50,186
The storm will provide the spark,
1240
01:04:50,319 --> 01:04:52,722
and we'll "Back to the Future" this bitch.
1241
01:04:52,855 --> 01:04:54,095
I'm goin' in to wet the place.
1242
01:04:54,190 --> 01:04:55,590
Do me a favor... Don't get killed.
1243
01:04:55,691 --> 01:04:57,927
- I've been killed before.
- If it happens again,
1244
01:04:58,060 --> 01:04:59,060
I won't notice.
1245
01:04:59,095 --> 01:05:00,496
Stay noodle-y.
1246
01:05:00,630 --> 01:05:01,964
♪ Ka-boom ♪
1247
01:05:03,232 --> 01:05:04,734
Uhh, okay.
1248
01:05:04,867 --> 01:05:06,102
Weirdo.
1249
01:05:06,235 --> 01:05:08,671
Shit's about to get real.
1250
01:05:16,946 --> 01:05:17,946
Mary! Over your shoulder!
1251
01:05:19,215 --> 01:05:21,617
Incoming!
1252
01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:23,119
Holy shit!
1253
01:05:23,252 --> 01:05:25,021
You've gotta be "squidding" me!
1254
01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:28,257
Aah!
1255
01:05:34,997 --> 01:05:37,166
- How's it going?
- "Squid" pro quo.
1256
01:05:37,300 --> 01:05:39,735
I'll thank you after we blow this place up.
1257
01:05:43,172 --> 01:05:45,007
Whoo-hoo! Look what I found!
1258
01:05:45,141 --> 01:05:46,575
Y'all need a ride?
1259
01:05:46,709 --> 01:05:48,010
What the...
1260
01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:49,912
Stop them, Al Dente Bob!
1261
01:05:50,046 --> 01:05:52,848
Please!
1262
01:05:52,982 --> 01:05:54,116
You too, Bob! Hop in.
1263
01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:55,451
It's a fast-moving noodle.
1264
01:05:55,584 --> 01:05:57,787
- You're gonna leave me?
- Looks like it.
1265
01:05:57,920 --> 01:05:59,755
I said, "Please," Bob.
1266
01:05:59,889 --> 01:06:01,590
These folks are nice.
1267
01:06:01,724 --> 01:06:03,492
You're so mean.
1268
01:06:05,761 --> 01:06:08,497
Emma. You're just gonna leave me, too?
1269
01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:10,166
Yep!
1270
01:06:10,299 --> 01:06:12,234
See you later!
1271
01:06:14,603 --> 01:06:16,672
Nooooooooooooo!
1272
01:06:30,987 --> 01:06:32,121
You did the right thing.
1273
01:06:32,254 --> 01:06:34,657
Blowing him up was our only option.
1274
01:06:34,790 --> 01:06:37,560
I mean, he was a noodle.
1275
01:06:37,693 --> 01:06:39,895
We knocked out the
core. That's what matters.
1276
01:06:40,029 --> 01:06:43,933
We still got a whole world
out there full of them noodles.
1277
01:06:44,066 --> 01:06:45,568
What are we gonna with this guy?
1278
01:06:45,701 --> 01:06:49,171
Uh, I think we should
boil his ass up and eat him.
1279
01:06:49,305 --> 01:06:51,207
You take one step outta line,
1280
01:06:51,340 --> 01:06:54,977
the last thing you'll
see is that stuffed bear.
1281
01:06:55,111 --> 01:06:56,111
And his name...
1282
01:06:56,178 --> 01:06:58,481
is Rowdy.
1283
01:06:58,614 --> 01:07:01,250
I can be cool.
1284
01:07:01,384 --> 01:07:02,885
Hold on. Where are you going?
1285
01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:05,955
This way. We got work to do...
1286
01:07:06,088 --> 01:07:07,323
and noodles to kill.
1287
01:07:30,413 --> 01:07:32,481
♪ Welcome to a new age ♪
1288
01:07:32,615 --> 01:07:35,184
♪ Welcome to a new age ♪
1289
01:07:35,317 --> 01:07:37,219
♪ Welcome to a new age ♪
1290
01:07:37,353 --> 01:07:38,921
♪ Welcome to a new age ♪
1291
01:07:39,055 --> 01:07:41,257
♪ Hiding in the dark,
waiting for the right time ♪
1292
01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:43,492
♪ Dead flower coming back to life ♪
1293
01:07:43,626 --> 01:07:45,694
♪ Hiding in the dark,
waiting for the right time ♪
1294
01:07:45,828 --> 01:07:48,798
♪ To join the pastacolypse ♪♪92463
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