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Knock, knock.

Hey, Mom.

Hi.

How you doing?

I'm good. You, uh, winding before your big date tonight?

I'm so stressed out.

Really? I don't even know what to do for a first date.

You're going to have a good time. Are you, uh, taking her somewhere nice?

That's the thing. I don't know if I should make reservations, get her

I'm just so new to this.

Yeah.

What do you, uh... You look very nice, Mom.

Thank you.

Very beautiful.

But yeah, Alexis, she... I mean, she... I don't know. She, uh...

She sounds like a nice girl.

She's very nice. We met back in college.

Did a couple classes together, but... Is she pretty?

She's very pretty.

Yeah, she's pretty. You would like her.

I would like her because she's pretty?

Mm -hmm. Is she a nice girl? Is she good enough for my sweet boy?

She's very genuine.

She's very genuine. Yes.

I guess that's good.

Have you two messed around yet? Have you kissed her?

No.

I'm too scared to do all that.

You haven't even kissed her yet.

I don't want to scare her away or make her think anything.

Oh, sweetie.

Mommy may not have realized just how innocent you are.

I always think of you as being such a good stud, but I guess, you know, it's

different with a girl, not with Mommy.

Yeah? Is she more intimidating than I am?

I mean... Does she make you nervous?

I mean, she makes me a little nervous, but... A little bit?

Uh -huh.

Yeah, that you like her.

Is she smart?

She's smart.

Is she fun?

She has a sense of humor.

Yeah, she has a sense of humor?

Mm -hmm.

What kind of girl is she like? Is she, like, she's not a stoner, is she?

No, no, no. She actually does sports.

Oh, she's like a jock.

Yeah, something like that. Like that?

Very athletic.

Very athletic?

Mm -hmm. What's her sport?

She plays softball.

Really? Mm -hmm. And she likes boys?

I mean... And she likes this boy.

Yeah, but what should I take her?

Like a bowling alley or the amusement park? I just... It depends on what your

end game is. You know, like...

What do you want to happen?

I'm going to have just something real, I guess.

Something real. Okay.

Well, I would say no movie because it's hard to talk at the movies.

But, Mom, I don't want to have sex right now.

What? Why not? You'll be nice and relaxed for your date. You don't want to

up there with...

An embarrassing boner, do you?

No, but I just... You don't want to get there and your thinking is all fuzzy

because you haven't come in a while.

When's the last time I saw your boy had an orgasm, huh?

It's been some time.

Yeah? It's been a little while?

Yeah. You're probably not thinking straight, I bet.

Mom, I don't think this is the right time. I have to...

It's a perfect time. I bet if you came really hard right now, you'd be nice and

clear -headed for your date.

But I have to be there in like an hour.

I can't be late.

All the more reason to get started now.

But I think you don't even know where you're going to take her yet. Don't you

think you should make a decision?

I mean, I need to make one quick because... Yeah, you need to make a

really quick.

But maybe not too, too quick.

Maybe not too, too much.

Mom, this is not the time. Like, I'm just too stressed out right now. I can't

think straight.

You're stressed out, baby. It's the best thing for being stressed out. Let's get

this shirt off of you. You don't want to mess it up.

Look how cute you look.

Mom.

I really got to go and start getting ready.

You want me to help you get ready?

You want me to help you get ready?

I think you're really, really relaxed.

What? I'll help you figure out what you want to do.

I'll show you something real if you want something real to happen.

You think that'd be fun? Jesus.

Oh my God, she doesn't even know about this yet, does she?

I mean, no.

I mean, eventually.

Eventually, maybe like two hours from

now?

I mean, I guess.

You're so shy.

How did I end up with such a shy son?

I just want to give you a few tips for your day tonight, okay?

Mommy wants to help you.

Thank you, Mommy.

Thank you, Mom.

You look beautiful, Mom.

Yeah.

kind of thing that you should say to her.

Oh, Jesus.

Honey.

Look at that. You can't show up on a date like that.

I still don't know where

I'm going to take her.

Well, do you know what her favorite restaurant is? If she's 40, maybe

isn't a terrible idea.

But also, if she's really sporty, you don't want to miss you sucking at

something.

True.

I think she likes Mexican food or sushi.

Mexican food or sushi?

Sushi's fun. Sushi's kind of sexy.

I would like it if a guy took me out for sushi. I think that sounds great.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

And I know that this goes without saying, but, you know, just make sure

you're a gentleman at all times. You can do that, can't you?

Yeah, but you always tell me that, Mom. I know to be a gentleman, but, like,

in what particular ways?

Well, you know, like, open a door for her, pull out her

chair.

Stand up when she comes back to you or leaves the table.

Okay. I can do that. Yeah. I can handle that.

You're walking off of her arms.

Make sure you walk on the other side of her.

You taste really good.

You, um... Have you, like, changed up your diet or anything?

I mean, I did have a pineapple smoothie, but... Oh, yeah?

I could eat my fruits.

Oh, I can taste it in your fruit, honey.

Oh, I can taste the blackberry.

Besides taking care of her physical space, you know, opening doors and

like that, I should also make sure that you compliment her and say something

nice about her.

And try to say something nice about something she controls, like her outfit

her makeup or something.

Not just, like, her body.

Okay. Yeah.

Excuse me.

Mm.

Mm.

I'm sure that Alexis is going to appreciate that pineapple.

It tastes so good.

You already have a pretty cock. Now you have a delicious cock.

Yes, gorgeous.

I think I know where I'm going to take her now.

You think you know?

Yeah? Is Sushi still a four -runner? Did you change your mind?

I think sushi is the winner.

Yeah.

Yeah. That place down on Main has that parking lot.

Well, Mom, you're going to have to send me the address or something.

Yeah.

Like a nice, quiet little corner.

It's always nice if a guy asks you if you want to go park after dinner.

I literally suck my dick and balls.

Sweetie, in this house we use the right name for a thing.

You love it when I suck your penis and testicles.

Okay, Mom, I literally suck my penis and testicles.

I know where I'm going to take her.

Where? To the amusement park.

That's not a bad idea.

I hope it's a good idea.

See how smart you are when you think of something.

That sounds great. A little bit of everything.

It's very romantic.

Yeah.

I used to have a lot of fun with your father at the amusement park. That's

he took me on our first date. It was great.

I had a great time.

I didn't know that.

You can do all that kind of cheesy stuff. You can win her a stuffed animal.

Or if she's on the softball team, maybe she can win one for you.

Maybe.

Yes, I'm good.

Thank you for giving me all the right pointers.

I would have been so lost during my date.

Kathy, help.

Do you know what she's going

to wear tonight?

I don't, actually. I can ask her.

Yeah?

That might be a good idea. You know, your sister says that she always likes

when the guy that she's going out with figures out what her favorite color is

and then wears it.

That's another cute little thing that you might do.

Yeah, I should definitely ask her what her favorite color is, too.

Yeah.

It's nice if you don't, like, match -match, but if you, like, coordinate

what she's wearing, it would be really cute.

That makes sense.

Yeah, you'll look adorable in all the little social media posts that she's

to make.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, look at that.

Did you run those errands that your dad asked you to do today?

Mom, I can't. I'm going to be late to my date.

Why didn't you do it earlier?

Mom, you're too busy sucking my...

Penis? Yeah, you can blame me.

Because it's going down on you.

You know your dad's going to be really upset if you don't finish your chores

before you go.

No, it's going to kill me.

But I've got... If you were willing to do something for me first, I could take

care of it for you.

Like what? I've got to go soon.

Would you make me feel good?

Like, make you a pussy?

Yeah, yeah.

Like, if you reached me out, yeah.

I mean, I guess you could show me more pointers.

Yeah, I guess so.

Sounds like a yes man to me.

Mom, have you been working out lately?

A little bit, yeah.

You taste so good, Mom.

Yeah.

It's good that you like the way the women taste.

Oh, honey.

You know what, Mommy? It's so slippery.

Yeah. Right there, yeah.

When you do it, you need to pick.

Heart flicking motion.

I like it when you mix it up. Oh, yeah, back and forth. Just teasing

and teasing and teasing.

You're doing a good job. You are doing an amazing job, baby.

Just teasing and teasing until you get closer and closer.

Oh, right at the end.

Yeah.

That is amazing. I wouldn't mention this to Alexis. It might

weird her out a little bit.

Really?

Yeah. Not everybody's like this in their family.

Oh, God.

Pulling my lips like that.

Oh, God.

You do that and my whole body tingles. Right.

Yeah,

yeah. You need your fingers in there, too.

Yeah. Like that? Yeah.

Oh, God, yeah.

You're getting on me so excited.

Oh, God, you make that sound so hard.

Of course I will.

You're so sick.

I can tell you needed this.

You couldn't go out on a date with this big heart.

It's like the direction.

Her bra straps slip down. You get hard. You can't have that on a date.

You can't stay out too late tonight because we have church in the morning

you're singing in the choir.

All right, Mom, I got it. Yeah, okay, good.

Is it okay if I take the extra car so I can leave early?

I guess if you take your sister, but check with your father, okay?

Oh, my God, you feel good inside.

Oh, God,

you feel good inside.

You're feeling good, so well.

Oh, yeah, fuck me.

Oh, God, fuck me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that.

Oh, wow.

Oh, God,

you're rubbing your fuck all over my cheeks, my cheeks.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck. Oh, God, like that, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sweetie, yeah.

I want you to fuck me a missionary.

Can you do that?

Uh -huh.

Sarah, want to?

I think that's what happens.

Yeah, you think that's what happens?

Why don't you show me what you're going to do?

But, Mom, that's so embarrassing.

Come show me. I just want to help you. Show me what you're going to do.

Not like that.

Then how?

Show me, show me.

Like that?

Yeah, more sensual like that.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Make yourself feel good.

project.

I want to feel that big, perfect cup. I want to feel

your cup. I want to feel your cup. It's so good. I want to feel it. I want to

feel your cup.

I want to feel your cup.

I want to feel your cup. I want to feel your cup.

I want to feel your cup.

Oh, yeah, honey. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Fuck.

Oh, wow.

Oh, God.

Good job, honey.

before you go out, but other than that, I think you're ready.

Should be a good date?

Yeah, it should be a good date.

Well, you should be nice and relaxed now. I certainly am.

I'm relaxed.

Yeah, Orgasm will do that for you.

Well, I'm glad you... talks, but really just be yourself.

She's going to love you for who you are.

Sounds good.

Good. Thank you, Mom.

You're welcome, sweetie.