Original subtitles

Hey, dad.

Hey, son.

What you watching?

Mutiny On the bounty.

It's a classic.

You know, they don't Make movies like This anymore.

Thank goodness. They have color now.

Son, look, look, Look at that Tall ship.

Man, is she A beauty?

Uh-huh.

I've always Dreamed of sailing Tall ships like that.

You know, there are Places you can go

And sail authentic Tall ships.

What?

Pay $8.00 for some Half-hour cruise

Where you watch Some tourist suck On a corn dog?

Uh-uh. Son, I'm talking about The real thing.

The 1700s.

The excitement Of exploration And discovery.

Like the first Super bowl.

Yeah, something Like that.

Carl! Carl!

Look what steve left In my freezer.

Both: eww!

An octopus.

Do you know where he is?

Well, he's in 1870.

Where?

Not where, when.

Steve combined His teleportation pad With his time machine,

And now he can travel Anywhere in history.

Isn't that Dangerous?

I mean, for people In history.

Not this time. He's visiting geronimo.

When he gets back, You tell him

That his octopus Is defrosting In the backyard.

Oh!

Boy, who knew apaches Hated polka music So much?

Well, steve, Other than the fact

That you almost Got yourself killed,

How was your trip?

Cool! They gave me An indian name...

Whines like a woman.

Boy, what a week!

I witnessed The french revolution,

I helped set up chairs

For the signing Of the declaration Of independence,

Oh, and the end Of his hunger strike,

I gave gandhi a cookie.

Well, what did he say?

Well, he said, "I'm thanking you So very much.

I'm so very hungry."

Of course, the trip Would have been A lot more fun,

If a certain somebody Had come along with me.

[chuckles]

Oh, oh, no way.

No way am I going Back in time with you.

Last trip I took, I Almost didn't get back.

Oh, but carl, That was then, This is now.

I'm telling you, I've ironed out All the kinks,

And my time travel watch Works like a charm.

Hey, dad, you know, Maybe you can go back

And sail the tall ships After all.

Tall ships?

Oh, well, yeah, Dad was just telling me

How he's always Dreamed of sailing An authentic tall ship,

Like the ones In the 1700s.

Carl winslow, Your dreams have come true.

Well, it was Just a fantasy.

Poppycock, seafarin' man.

I can put you On any ship you want.

I don't know.

Sure you do.

Picture this... The atlantic ocean, 1704,

Trade winds provide A steady breeze Across a sun-drenched sea

As your tall ship Glides along The crystal blue water,

Your top sails Puffed with pride,

Propelling you To an adventure Of a lifetime.

I'll do it. 1704, here I come.

Yippee! Hey, eddo, Want to go?

No way, I don't want To miss baywatch.

Tell mom I'll be home For dinner.

Don't be late. The gundersons Are coming over for dinner.

Don't want to spend the whole Night listening to gunderson

Tell me how he took All the chrome Off of his miata.

Let's go, steve.

Aye, aye, captain.

High seas, Here we come!

Begging The captain's pardon,

But me thinks As your right-hand man

That I'd be entitled To more of that booty.

I takes that as a no.

Ow, ow!

Aah! Sorcerer!

Howdy!

Shiver me timbers! Sorcerers!

And they be wearing Strange britches.

A pirate ship?

A pirate ship?

Steve, I said I wanted to sail A tall ship.

Well, this Is a tall ship.

It just happens to have A few pirates.

Hello, pirate people.

We're not sorcerers.

Oh!

Well, we're--we're From far, far away.

We got caught In a typhoon,

Snatched in the air, And blown down On this ship.

Well, blow me down.

Well, that's What I just said.

I be Nicholas hightower,

Captain Of this ship.

I be? You hear that, carl?

Ebonics. I am Nicholas hightower.

If you want To lead men,

You'd better work On your verbs, fella.

Hey, hey, Carl, carl,

Take a picture of me And the pirate.

Gather around, Hearties, Gather around.

Okay. Okay.

There you go.

Alright.

Say cheese.

Pirates: argh!

"Argh" is good.

[gasps]

That magic box-- What she be?

Oh, this? This is a camera.

A latent image in activated Silver salt is formed

Whenever light has fallen On the emulsion.

That's What I thought.

Oh, look, it's ready.

Oh, me eye Was closed.

Blast.

Argh, I say we make The big sorcerer captain,

And the one with The bad fashion sense First mate.

All: aye!

Hey, I be captain.

What's wrong with me?

They smells better.

But what about me booty?

Oh, a couple weeks On the stairmaster

Will firm that baby Right up.

I'm not giving up My ship.

Then you Walks the plank.

Welcome aboard, captain.

All hail the new skipper Of the rusty raven.

All: aye!

What be your name?

Carl.

Carl! That be A foppish name.

We can't fight And plunder and pillage

For someone named carl.

He called you foppish, Big guy.

Big guy... Captain big guy. I likes it. Aye.

Hey, Captain big guy. Catchy.

Argh!

All hail Captain big guy!

All: aye!

Belay that yarn!

Man the cap stands!

Hoist the silks.

They'd be already Done, captain.

Oh. Anything else We can hoist?

Certainly not you, sir.

Swab the deck, mateys.

Argh, you Scurvy lubbers!

Hey, you like my costume?

Yeah, you like mine?

Hey, be careful, steve.

Your pistol's cocked.

Oh, puh-lease.

I think a guy that's Smart enough to build A time machine

Is certainly Capable of handling

A simple thing Like a gun. [gunshot]

Oh, yummy.

Tonight it will be Surf and turf.

I'll just go pirate Over there.

Alright. Don't get Yourself in trouble.

* 15 men on A dead man's chest *

* yo-ho-ho And a bottle of rum *

* drink and the devil Had done for the rest *

* yo-ho-ho And a bottle of rum *

Say, whatcha doin'?

Singing.

No, I mean With the cannon.

We be readyin' her For a little Target practice.

Oh, can I help? Can I, can I, can I, Please?

- I reckon. - oh, what do I do?

You lights the fuse.

Oh, no problemo.

Now aims her Out to sea.

Hey, I don't see anything.

Well, I hopes You're happy.

You've ruined the soup.

Did I do that?

You idiot!

Give me that. Just give it to me.

[whining]

Hey!

Whatcha got there?

Likes a sip?

Oh, thankee.

Oh!

Ack, what Is that stuff?

It's rum.

Rum? Well, I hope you have A designated sailor.

You know, It's not safe To slurp and sail.

Give me that!

No, you give me that.

Oh, not my watch.

Oh, carl! Carl! Carl!

Steve, What's the matter?

Oh, nothing. No biggie.

I just might have, Sort of, accidentally

Dropped my Time travel watch Overboard.

What?!

Oh, my god, We're stuck in the past forever.

[cries]

Oh, shut up.

Edward...

Are you sure Your father said

He'd be home In time for dinner?

Yeah.

Oh, it's been hours.

You think he forgot?

No way. Mom, You know how time flies

When you time travel.

Hey!

Hi, girls.

What's up?

Myra, why do you Wear that riding Outfit so often?

Well, I figure If I wear it enough,

Daddy will get the hint And buy me a horse.

But he didn't buy you That plane

When you kept dressing Up like a stewardess.

A give-up gertie Doesn't get the birdie.

Where's my stevie?

Oh, he's running Around with dad Somewhere in 1704.

And I'm starting To worry.

Well, if you'd like, I can go Fetch the fellas.

Well, how you going To get there,

On a horse You don't have?

No, stevie made me My own time travel watch.

It's got a built-in Tracking device

So I can zap to my stevie In a zip.

Great. Myra, Remind carl

That the gundersons Will be here In 20 minutes.

Care to join me, ladies?

Sure. How about You, max?

I'm down.

You gals might meet Cute guys.

Men were less picky In 1704.

* row, row, row, Your boat *

* gently Down the stream *

* merrily, merrily, Merrily, merrily *

* life is But a dream *

[humming]

* row, row, row, Your boat *

* gently Down the stream *

* merrily, merrily, Merrily, merrily *

Oh, will you stop it?

Steve, you know, You have really Done it this time.

You got us trapped On a ship full Of cutthroat pirates,

And there's no way Of ever getting home again.

Well, gee, you make It sound so negative.

Well, excuse me, But I was just thinking

About all the things I'll never see again

Like hot showers.

Hot showers were not Invented in 1704.

I'll never take Another hot shower again.

Well, look On the bright side.

There are No nuclear weapons,

There's No pollution,

And no pauly shore movies.

What about my family, steve?

I'll never see harriet Again or eddie or laura.

Hey, daddy.

Hi, laura... Laura!

Maxine! Oh, wow!

I'm so glad To see you.

Oh, I'll say.

Why, I lost My time travel watch

And we weren't Able to get back.

Oh, don't worry, Snookums, I have mine.

Oh, can we go Now? These guys Are not fine.

Hurry, let's go. Let's get out of here.

Well, well, well, Look what we have here.

Some comely wenches.

And just Who do you think

You're Calling a wench, Snaggletooth?

Yeah, watch it, palley, Or you'll be wearing 2 eye patches.

Oh, they be sassy.

Aye, and that's Just the way We likes them,

Right, mateys?

Oh, what did you do, Brush your teeth With a dead halibut?

Yeah.

Look what we have here, A fortune in silver.

Hey, you can't Harm those girls!

Whys not?

Aye, we be pirates.

That's what we do. We harm people.

But there's a hefty ransom To be had for these lasses.

Ransom?

Yeah. And If you harm them, We won't get it.

'cause they're the Daughters of a very Prominent governor.

What governor?

Well, the governor Of--of...

Motown.

Motown. Yeah, motown.

Yes, it's a small colony Near detroit.

They have A very cool anthem...

* sugar pie Honey bunch *

* you know That I love you *

* I can't help myself *

* I love you And nobody else *

* duh duh duh duh *

* sugar pie Honey bunch *

* I'm weaker than A man should be *

Oh, stow it!

I don't care who Their fathers be.

I want their gold.

Pirates: yeah!

I will not stand For this thievery.

Oh, what kind of captain Are ye?

We can't harm people, We can't steal From them.

What can we do?

Well, when's the Last time you tidied Up your bunks?

Listen to me, men.

This scurvy knave Ain't no captain.

You follow me and you can Pillage and plunder All you like.

And I gives you Me affidavit,

You'll never have to tidy Your bunks again.

Pirates: aye!

Give me your gold, wench.

Aye! Oh!

Oof! Argh!

[screams]

Oh, get them, men!

Steve, can we all get Back on myra's watch?

Well, yes, but we Have to be touching.

Come on, myra, We got to get To the guys.

Well, it's not Like I'm not trying.

Oops. I dropped My hanky.

Permits me.

Yaah! Oh!

Oh!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Girls: aah!

Get him!

Don't worry, I'll save you!

Myra: Oh, stevie!

Right! What shall We do with him, men?

Pirates: Run him through!

No! Let's Torture them.

Pirates: yeah!

How about A stern lecture?

Good idea.

The plank!

Aye, make them Walk the plank.

Really, guys, the plank Is so overdone.

No, steve, steve, No, the plank is okay As long as they don't

Make us walk the plank together.

That would be Just too gruesome.

Oh!

You're right, carl.

Anything but that, please.

Whatever you do, Don't make us Walk the plank together.

Let's make them Walk the plank together!

Pirates: yeah!

Get up there!

Alright, Get up there!

Alright, any last Words before you Meet your maker?

Yeah. So long, suckers!

That's a very strange Choice of words.

Yeah, come on! Aah!

Pirates: yeah!

I'm so sorry. Carl should be here In a flash.

Told you.

So, roy, How's the miata?

* 15 men On a dead man's chest *

* yo-ho-ho And a bottle of rum *

* drink and the devil Had done for the rest *

* yo-ho-ho And a bottle of rum *

[humming]

Hey, is my cannonball In there?

I think it went Over there.

Perhaps on your couch maybe.