Original subtitles

Well...That's it. We're done.

Thanks for All your help, Stefan.

Oh, wait, wait. Where's my reward?

Coming right up.

How about A game of hearts?

Why bother? You've Already won mine.

[knock on door]

Hi, laura.

Curtis.

Baby, you look prettier Every day.

Um...

Curtis, I thought I told you

We couldn't see Each other anymore.

You can't blame A guy for trying.

No, but...

I can.

Hmm.

I guess I should've Called first.

I guess You should've.

I just came by To pick up my sweater.

Sweater?

Oh. Uh-huh. Well...

You know, it, uh-- It's u--it's up-- It's upstairs.

I'm gonna go get it.

So.

Laura has your sweater.

That's right. See, Laura and eddie

Were standing in line At the movie theater,

And I happened To walk by.

Oh. And laura said She was cold?

She didn't have to. I could tell.

It's a connection We have.

[chuckles]

I see you like To play games.

Bring it on.

Not bad.

Okay.

Let's step it up A little.

Uh...

Oh, no, no, no, man. You can't do that.

Uh, ha ha.

Huh.

Why are we putting Marshmallows Between our toes?

'cause steve used All the cotton balls For his latest invention.

What is it?

Q-tips for elephants.

But who--

Don't ask.

Hey, stefan and I are Going to the sizzle club,

You want to come? Might meet a cute guy.

Mmm, I don't think so.

You still miss waldo, Don't you?

He was my wally pop For 4 years.

Look. I still have The "Dear max" Letter

He sent me From new york.

Look how He addressed it.

"To maxine in chicago...

The one In the brown building..."

"Next door To the kinko's...

Across the street From the subway."

"The train, Not the sandwich."

Oh, god, That gets me.

You need To get out more.

I don't think I'm ready.

If a guy hit on me, I wouldn't even know What to say.

You wouldn't have to say A thing. Guy's gonna Do all the talking.

I don't know.

[sighs]

Look at yourself.

Girl, you got it Going on.

You really think so?

With your brains, That face, And your figure,

You can have Any man you want.

That's right.

The next time Waldo writes me,

He'll have to Address it

To "The maxine In the big house On the hill

"With the handsome Husband, 2 kids,

And a corvette In the driveway."

Ha ha!

Go, girl.

Okay. Okay.

[animal roars on tv]

[woman screams on tv]

Oh! Uhh!

No! Please! Uhh!

Ha ha.

What the--

Hi, guys.

Hi! Hi.

What are you guys Doing up?

It is almost midnight.

Oh, we're watching Jurassic convent.

In 3d.

Ha ha ha ha.

Is that dinosaur Eating a nun?

Well, she shouldn't Have slapped him With a ruler.

Come on, guys. Time to hit the sack.

Come on, Please? Oh, man!

Uh, uh, uh...

Don't argue. Go up, Brush your teeth,

Hop into bed, and I'll Be up in a few minutes To tuck you in.

Thank you.

You're welcome, Sugar.

Now, plant a nice Juicy one right there.

Love you. I love you.

Ha ha ha.

You know, mom...

Carl?

I really appreciate You baby-sitting The boys, but...

I don't think you Should let them twist you Around their little finger.

What are you talking about? We're just having fun.

Well, mom, You let them stay up Way past their bedtime.

You let them Watch scary movies,

And apparently, You let them

Eat their entire weight In junk food.

Carl, they had A good, solid dinner.

Like what, mom?

Well, we made Peanut butter Sandwiches

And dipped them In melted snickers.

Ooh, that Sounds tasty.

Mm-hmm.

Work with me, Harriette.

Mother. Mmm?

You are way Too permissive.

Now, you let the boys Get away with things

That harriette and I Would never allow.

Now, look, buster. When I baby-sit, I'm in charge,

And I do things My way. Capisce?

Mother. If you cannot Respect my wishes,

I'm simply not Gonna allow you To baby-sit anymore.

Not allow me? Now, you listen up, carl.

Those kids are My grandbabies.

And I'm gonna Spend time with them.

And when I do, We're gonna have fun.

Now, if you have A problem with that,

We're gonna throw down Right now.

Goodnight, Sweetheart.

Goodnight, Mother winslow.

Oh, look, laura--

A happy face...On a guy With a caved-in head.

Stop kidding around. You know we gotta Get these pies

Over to the college Bake sale by 7:00.

Yeah. Can I eat one more?

Steve, you've already Eaten 6 whole pies.

I know, but...

But I'm hungry again, Now that I've thrown up.

Just decorate the pies.

Well...

[knock on door]

Hi, steve.

Laura, the most amazing Thing happened to me

Today at the mall. What?

I walked In music world

To scope out gangsta rap Golden oldies.

Uh-huh, uh-huh... G'head, g'head, G'head, g'head.

I grabbed a cd, And out of nowhere,

This gorgeous guy Comes up behind me And grabs the same one.

When our hands touched, It was like... I don't know!

Sparks? Oh, more than sparks.

We are talking Fourth of july!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aaaahhhh--

It was like You said, laura.

He talked And flirted With me,

And somehow, I knew what To say.

Did he buy You a cinn-a-bun?

Because when a guy Really likes you, He buys you a cinn-a-bun.

Yes, he bought me A cinn-a-bun.

The large or small?

The large!

Aah! Aah!

We spent the whole Afternoon together,

And tonight He is taking me To the sizzle club.

Oh, girl, I love it!

And you know What's so ironic?

You know The guy!

She knows The guy!

Yes! Isn't that, Like, amazing?!

Who is it?

It's curtis!

Steve: aah, It's curtis!

Did you hear me, Laura?

Did you hear me? It's curtis!

Aah! It's curtis!

Well, don't just Stand there, laura. Say something!

Well...

That about says it all.

Uh...I--I--I'm sensing A heavy layer of tension In the room.

Why did you Do that, laura?

Do what?

This!

Okay.

Okay.

Oh...Oh...Oh, Lordy, lordy, lordy.

I--I think I'll be leaving now.

Oh! Oh, no, No, no, no, no.

Steve, wait.

Would you mind Helping me

Pull the knife Out of my back?

Knife? What knife? There's no knife In your back.

The one maxine Stabbed me with...

When she stole My man.

Your man?

You broke up With curtis.

He's not your man Anymore.

Now...

He's my man.

Ohhh...

Ohhh...

Ohhh...Oh...

Ohh...Ohh...

Ohhhhh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh, gosh, golly, Jeepers creepers.

Uh...Uh...

Should I be getting Some handi-wipes?

Stay out Of this! Stay out Of this!

Aah! Aah!

Wahhh!

And I just got the wax Sucked out of my ears!

You know, max...

What is your problem?

You don't have anything Better to do than to steal My ex-boyfriend?

Oh...Hold up.

You broke up with curtis 'cause you didn't Want him anymore.

And now you don't Want anybody else To have him, either?

I think it's obvious That he's on the rebound...

And the only reason He's seeing you

Is to get closer to me.

Oh, huh-uh.

He wasn't acting Like he was On the rebound

While he was Kissing me.

You kissed him... After one cinn-a-bun?

Ladies, ladies, Ladies, ladies, Please, please, please!

Ladies, calm down!

Whoa!

Haaaa ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha!

I knew you were Gonna do that. That's why I ducked,

Because I knew It was coming. I saw it coming,

And I ducked. I got outta the way--

Pfft!

Pahhh!

Al-l-l-right!

Tha-a-a-t...

Does it!

Nahh!

No more Mr. Nice urkel!

I'm sorry.

Please, wait. Wait a minute. I'm sorry.

If it's war you want...

Then it's war You're gonna get!

Oh...Um...Oh...

Have you lost your mind?

Oh, no!

I'm so sorry, eddo. I'm so sorry.

Oh, no. You Ain't sorry yet.

No, eddo, Please!

Come here, steve.

No. Eddo. Turn. Turn around.

No! Eddo, please! Eddo, please!

Eddo. Eddo. We can talk About this, eddo.

No, we ain't gonna Talk about it.

Eddo! Eddo, Please, no!

Eddo!

Hmm!

Heh! Heh heh Heh heh!

Oh--

Hmm!

[muttering]

You just wait.

You just wait!

Ooh, steve! Steve, steve, Don't!

Steve, stop!

Steve! Steve!

You just tell me Where you are, And I'll ri-I-I-ght...

There!

Eddo?

Eddo?

Huh?

I thought-- Hello, steve.

Ohh...

Ohhh...

Oh, god, please.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's okay, steve.

Oh...

You look tired, Steve.

Oh, no. Oh, no, But I'm really sorry.

Why don't you Have a seat, steve?

Come over and Sit down, steve.

What are you doing, Big guy?

Just sit down, Steve. Wha--wha--

Steve...

Why don't you Rest your face On the table?

Oh, big guy, I'm so sor--

Nighty-night, Steve.

Here comes The sandman.

Aah!

Hmm!

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

You wanted to talk To me, carl?

Yes, I did, mama.

Okay.

Mama... Hmm?

I miss you.

I miss you, too, carl.

And the kids would Like you to baby-sit.

I would love to.

But gonna have Some ground rules

That I'm gonna Have to insist upon.

Like what?

Well, absolutely No junk food.

I'll decide what's junk.

No staying up late.

I'll decide what's late.

No scary movies.

I'll decide What's scary.

Mother, I just Don't understand...

Why you Are fighting me On this issue.

Carl, I know you think I'm being irresponsible,

But the truth is,

Baby-sitting the kids Is a special treat

For them and for me.

Well, I know that, mama.

[sighs]

Don't you remember When you were little?

How you loved staying With your grandparents

When your father And I went out?

Well... Yeah, I remember.

Well, do you remember why?

Ha ha. Because they Spoiled you rotten. Ha ha ha.

Oh, but, now, see, There you go. Didn't That bother you?

No way.

Look how great You turned out.

Hmm.

You see, carl, Parents have to say no.

But grandparents...

Get to say yes.

I love you, mama.

I love you, too.

I don't know what I'm gonna do

But I love you.

Well, then give me A big hug.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Hey, stefan.

Whoa.

Mmm! Mmm, Mmm, mmm.

Baby...Your beauty Is blinding.

Thank you.

So. Where to? The sizzle club?

No way. Curtis And that witch Are gonna be there.

Ooh. Ouch, Ouch, ouch.

[doorbell chimes] Play nice.

Hey, max. Hello, stefan.

Hey, whazzup? Hey, whazzup?

I need to talk To laura.

She's not here.

Laura, I've something To say to you,

And I'm not leaving Until you hear me out.

Look. I'm warning You, maxine,

I still have A few boston creams.

How long have we Been best friends?

Since third grade.

That's right.

Ever since We came to school

With our punky brewster Lunchboxes.

And that's too long To let some dumb guy Come between us.

Hey, yo, Was that a shot?

Oh, yeah, but don't Take it personal. They're just cranky.

You're cute, baby, But me and laura, We go way back.

They do go way back.

No, max. I'm the one Who should be Apologizing.

I mean, I was paranoid And jealous...

Uh, selfish And greedy and--

And feel free to Stop me at any time.

Stop, laura.

Friends? Forever.

Girl, I missed you.

[maxine chuckles]

You want to go To sizzle club?

We'd love to. Let's go. Let's go.

Well, you mind If we tag along?

Yeah...But I can Deal with it.

But first...

Huh huh huh huh. Ohhh...

Yeah, right. Ha ha.

Ha ha.

Okay, okay. You got me With the grapes.

[woman on tv screams] Aah!

[dinosaur growls]

Mom, can I have Another peanut butter And snicker sandwich?

Absolutely not.

Why not?

Carl...I'm your mother,

Not your grandmother.

Now, sit up straight.