Original subtitles

Hey, steve.

Oh, morning, Sunshine.

Something smells good.

It's your breakfast, Your royal swellness.

Ok.

Oh, um, sorry.

Voila!

2 eggs over easy,

Bacon medium, Hash browns avec onions

With juice l'orange.

Mmm! All my favorite stuff. What's going on?

Let's just say if You were to choose me As your life mate,

This repast Would be your future.

Steve, are you trying To bribe me?

You betcha, baby.

Guys, The most incredible Thing happened.

Ooh, let me guess, Let me guess, let me guess, Let me guess.

Let me guess, Let me guess--

You met a guy? Yes!

Aah! Aah!

Aaaaah!

Ha ha!

His name Is d'andre moore.

I met him last week At the sizzle club,

And we've gone out Almost every night Since.

Well, why didn't You call me?

Yeah, what's wrong With you, girl?

Well, I didn't want To say anything

In case things Fizzled out.

So tell us About d'andre.

Well, he's a little Older than me--

Oh, that just means He's a man and not a boy.

Aah! Aah!

Aaaaaah!

Get over here!

Girl, he is so fine.

He owns His own business,

Drives a beemer,

And spoils me rotten.

Ooh! Ooh!

Girl, I like him Already.

And today, He gave me a one-week Anniversary gift

That is The absolute bomb.

Ask me what time it is.

Ooh, no, no, no, Let me, let me, let me, Let me, let me.

What time is it?

Darn, I wanted to ask.

I cannot tell you What time it is,

Because the gold is Too blinding! Ha ha ha!

Ooh!

Ooh.

You go, girl.

Work it, baby, Work it.

Aah! Aah!

Aaaaaaah!

Hi, honey.

Ah.

How was your day?

Ah.

Oh, that's nice.

Are you hungry?

Ah, pfffft!

I see.

I'm sorry, harriette,

But I've been in A bad mood all day.

Do you know that I have To go to the white house

And see the president Of the united states?

You poor baby.

You'll have to Cancel your lunch With the pope.

You remember Charlie carnelli?

Oh, sure.

Well, he's Being appointed

Special advisor To the president On crime policy.

And they're honoring him With some big gala event.

Wow! I guess Taking that job with The justice department

Really paid off For charlie.

Ah, he just Got lucky.

Sweetheart, he put 8 drug lords behind bars

And seized 47 kilos of heroin.

Ah, the dog Did all the work.

[doorbell rings]

Surprise! Hey, max.

I thought it was time

For the 2 most important People in my life To meet.

Laura, this is d'andre.

Nice to meet you, D'andre.

Charmed.

I can see why you And max are friends.

The fine do Flock together.

[giggles]

Well, come in. Have a seat.

Thanks.

Hey, girl,

What you doin' Way over there? This ain't church.

So, uh, d'andre,

Uh, max tells me you Own your own business.

Yeah.

Well, what kinda business is it?

You know, it's import, export.

I'm a big trader in The global economy.

Oh, what do you trade?

Electronics And yams.

I'm kidding About the yams.

He's so funny.

[telephone rings]

Excuse me, ladies.

Yo?

No.

So?

Man, go With the flow!

Ahem, listen, Baby, um,

I gotta split.

Why? What's wrong?

Well, uh, that was One of my associates.

He screwed up. I got a few fires that,

You know, I gotta put out.

Is there anything I can do to help?

No, there's really--

Well, maybe there is.

Baby, can you drop A couple of packages Off for me tomorrow?

Packages?

Yams.

Yams. Ha ha ha.

No problem, d'andre.

Baby, you know Something?

You and me, We make a good team.

Uh, laura,

Max was right About you, baby.

You got it Goin' on and on.

Mmm.

Ha ha. Thanks, d'andre.

So what Do you think?

Well, ha ha,

Oh, I like him. Ha ha.

What is that Supposed to mean?

It means that...

I...Like him.

If you really liked him, We'd both be going, "Aah!" right now.

Well, um, ha ha,

The truth is, max,

I think He's a little...

Slick.

Slick?

What do you Mean slick?

Well, not slick In a bad way.

Slick in a slippery way.

Well, I guess that is a bad way.

I don't believe this.

Why can't you Just be happy for me?

D'andre's just not The kind of guy I Would pick out for you.

Well, you didn't pick him, Laura, I did.

And if you Can't understand What he means to me,

Then maybe you're Not as good a friend As I thought.

Hey--

Well, nice to see You, too, maxine!

What's wrong with her?

She's upset Because I don't like Her new boyfriend,

D'andre moore.

Well, you got a lot Of nerve talking about Somebody else's boyfriend.

You're going out With steve urkel.

I'm serious, eddie.

I get a bad vibe From this guy.

Well, want me to make A few calls, have him Checked out?

Yeah. I don't want Max to get hurt.

Consider it done.

I really appreciate This, eddie.

Hey, no problem. I wash your back, and You wash my laundry.

Oh, here it is.

Hi.

Thanks for Helping me, steve.

Ohh.

Oh, why didn't you Get a porter to carry All these bags?

What, and Waste a dollar?

Gee, this is a tiny room.

Well, I'll say.

It's so tiny, You got to go outside To change your mind.

Steve...

It's so tiny, You got to clap Your hands this way.

Steve...

It's so tiny, the mice Are hunchbacked.

Steve!

I think we both agree That this is a very Small room.

Well, I guess...

I guess it's time For me to go.

Yep.

You know, I'm--I'm not One for sobby good-byes.

Well, neither am I, So...Good-bye.

I cherish you, Carl winslow.

Come back To me safe.

Ok, steve,

See ya later.

Excuse me, I got to go wash up. Excuse me.

Oh, right, Right, right, Right, right.

Huh, I'll hang up His bag. Yeah, yeah.

There you go.

Hmm, must be stuck.

Oof!

[train whistle blows]

Conductor: All aboard!

[whistle blows]

Now I can relax.

Ahh!

Steve: ohhhhh.

Ohhhhhhh.

Ohhhhhhh.

Steve?

Ohhhhhhh.

Steve!

Are you--are you Alright?

Bishop tutu?

Steve, are you ok?

I--I think so.

I bumped my head.

Steve, You're not supposed To be on the train.

Huh? Oh!

W-w-w-we're moving!

Oh.

Uh, excuse me? Excuse me? Would you--

Yes, what is it?

We have a little Problem here.

He's not a passenger.

Don't be silly. He's onboard, The train is moving,

He's a passenger.

But he doesn't Have a ticket.

Oh, then he's Not a passenger.

He's a criminal!

Uhhhh!

Oh, w-w-w-well, Maybe we can drop him Off at the next stop.

This is An express train.

No stops Between here and Washington, d.C.

Not even any slow curves?

Nope.

Oh, well, how much Is a ticket?

$220.

Oh, well, I think I can swing that,

With a little help From you, carl.

Well, how much Do you need?

$220.

Uh, can he have A compartment about 2 or 3 cars down?

This train is Completely sold out.

Either he stays With you, or he Sleeps on the roof.

He's gonna need A blanket up there.

Oh, ok, he Can stay with me.

I'll alert cnn.

Well, roomie, I guess It's just you and me

All the way to d.C.

How long do you Think that'll be?

14 hours.

Move it.

Ah, well, that time Should just fly by.

Hey, carl , did you know The first commercial locomotive

Was built in 1804 By richard trevithick?

No.

His friends used to Call him rick.

But his wife Would call him ricky.

His mom would call him dick but His dad would call him dicky.

Strangely enough, He preferred her.

[screaming]

Hey, thanks, carl, for Lending me these boxers.

You're welcome.

They sure are roomy.

I could hold A 3-ring circus in here.

Look, steve, I'm very tired,

I have a very Big day tomorrow,

And I really would just Like to get some sleep, ok?

Ok.

There's no room for me.

A little more.

A little more.

Ok.

Now, breathe deep.

[inhales]

Ahh.

[exhales]

Whoa!

[snoring]

Steve?

[snore snore]

Steve!

[snoring]

Steve!

Huh? What? Huh? Huh? Huh? What? Huh? Huh?

Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

No, you fell off the bed.

And you woke me For that?

Well, at least You could sleep.

I'm having a little Trouble nodding off.

Well, maybe if I sing you a lullaby,

That'll help you Drift off.

I don't think so.

Oh, sure it will. Come on.

But I don't think--

Come on, come on, Move your feet.

Move your feet. Move your feet. Come on.

Ok, ok, here we go.

Ahh.

* go to sleep *

* go to sleep *

* go to slee-ee-eep *

* go to sleep *

* go to sleep *

* go to slee-ee-eep *

* go to sleep *

* go to sleep-- *

Oh, will you shut up?!

Wait a minute. What?

I just thunk a thought.

It's raining outside.

So why don't we let The soothing pitter Patter of raindrops

Lull us to sleep?

Now, that's A very good idea.

Why, thank you.

Now, you crack The window

While I go visit Facil-lilities.

Ahh.

Ahh.

What did you do?

Excuse me, Are you joe?

Yeah. You must be D'andre's new girl.

That's right. My name is max.

Hey, no names, ok?

D'andre asked me To give you this.

Uh, this is for d'andre.

Police! Freeze!

Good job, eddie.

Eddie, what Are you doing?

Max, this guy's A coke dealer.

Oh, man, You must be crazy.

I don't know What's in that package.

The girl walked up And handed it to me. Yeah, we saw.

Let's see What's in here.

A white powdery substance.

Let's go. You're under arrest.

Max, you're gonna Need to come, too.

We're gonna Need a statement.

D'andre used me.

Oh, my god, eddie, I'm a drug runner!

No. No, you're not, max.

You had no idea What was going on.

It's ok. It's alright.

Willie: eddie?

Eddie, let's Go pick up d'andre.

Yes, sir.

Steve, will you please Stop sulking and come Out of the bathroom?

You yelled at me,

And you called me A butthead.

Of all the things I've called you,

The one that bothers you Is butthead?

Yes. It was my Nickname in preschool.

Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know that.

Now, come out of There and sit down, Now, please?

Are you gonna be nice?

Yes, I'll be nice.

Look, steve, I'm sorry.

I've just been In a funk all day

Ever since I found out That charlie carnelli Was being named "Top cop."

Oh, the old green-eyed Monster syndrome.

Well, I'm--I'm not jealous.

I--I don't begrudge Charlie his success.

I mean, he's a good cop, And--and he earned His appointment.

Then what is it?

About 5 years ago,

I turned down The same job with The justice department

That got charlie Where he is today.

Ah, the old Road-not-taken syndrome.

Yeah.

I think I made A big mistake.

Hmm.

I don't know, carl. Let's think this over.

If you'd have Taken that job,

You would have Had to relocate to Washington, d.C., right?

Oh, that's right.

Which means harriet would've Had to give up her job

At ferguson's

And you would've had to yank All your kids outta school.

Yeah, I guess that's true.

And that justice job, What was it anyway?

Well, it was Mostly political.

You know, Crime commissions, Committee meetings,

Hobnobbing With congress.

Let's face it, carl, You're no hobber of nobbers.

You're a man of action. You walk the beat.

You drove a squad car.

And now,

You're a captain At a very young age,

Commanding hundreds Of men and women.

Oh. So you think I made the right choice?

Well, you're respected By your coworkers,

You're admired By your community,

And you're loved by all Your friends and family.

Sounds to me Like you made all The right choices.

In my book, carl,

Not only Are you a top cop,

You're the top pop.

[doorbell rings]

Hello, laura.

Hey, max.

Uh, come in. Have a seat.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You first. Go ahead.

I'm sorry-- I'm sorry, laura--

I should have Listened to you, laura.

You're my best friend And a great judge Of character.

D'andre had me Totally fooled.

Believe me, I wish I had been wrong about him.

Mmm, me, too.

You know what, This is a problem

Only 2 scoops of Haagen-dazs can solve.

Whoo! As fine As d'andre was,

I'm gonna need Some hot fudge and Some nuts on top.

I'll drive. I'll buy.

I'll buy. I'll buy.

Alright.