Original subtitles

Come in.

Oh, hi.

Glad you guys can make it.

I'm Michelle.

Oh, sorry. I guess flies on the wall don't really shake hands.

Natural right. Okay, well, follow me. I'll show you the rest of the gang.

Hey, people.

Another beautiful Monday at the office.

Now, on Friday, I reminded you of the documentary being shot here.

So just, um, back natural.

And action.

Boring.

Kylie, pour it up a little bit. You know, like usual.

I promise you some sexified office work soon.

I believe in the three F's in the workplace.

Fun, funny, and inter -office fucking.

I mean, what good are your troops if they can't enjoy the trenches?

Sure, the work doesn't get done as fast as you'd like, but hey, everyone's

happy.

And that's why not only am I the boss, I'm the employee of the month.

This is Dwayne. He is my assistant in charge of paperwork.

Also one hell of a badminton player.

Here at Dinder Muffin, we have a badminton team to, uh, boost morale.

Michelle's correct.

I once hit a birdie so hard, I collapsed the opponent's lung.

And this is my cell ninja.

Hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya!

You ever have one of those days?

Every day?

This is Jimmy's girlfriend, Sam.

She's my receptionist and sex slave.

Just receptionist.

Michelle is... Who is Michelle?

Michelle is... Let's put it this way.

Today she asked me if I was Muslim because I'm the Shiite.

Well, her mug says boss, so I guess she must be the boss.

Playing solitaire?

Yep.

Funny, I was just telling Dwayne he can't play with himself at a deck.

And here you are.

Well, I just can't seem to keep my fingers off the keyboard sometimes.

Why don't you come play with my hard drive?

No.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes. Yes.

That's so good.

Funny.

Or our number crunching maniacs. Mwahaha.

Ha. Guys, come on. I thought we all agreed to laugh maniacally when I

Okay. So this is Kevin.

This is Kylie.

And this is Minuto.

My fucking name is Oswald.

Come on. It's a play on your last name.

My last name is Poke.

Not Hernandez or Valdez or Espinosa or any other arbitrary Latin name you can

think of.

It's not that hard, Michelle.

That's what she said.

You can't say that's what she said.

It was just a joke. They had fun. I don't understand what the problem is.

Sexual harassment.

That's what the problem is. I have to answer to somebody. You have to answer

somebody. I have to answer to you. And if you're happy, then I'm happy.

I'm not happy.

We need to work on this. We need to do something about this.

I can make you happy.

Michelle, we have a lot of work to do. I don't think you

understand exactly what

I'm trying to say.

It's so much fun.

So much fun.

So unprofessional.

Let me tie it down in here.

little bit warm in there.

I think you're getting dragged together. Yeah.

it already

One for the reason that her little pussy.

I have to wrap my fingers.

No, she doesn't know.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Take that cup.

Thank you.

I want you to come on this cot.

This one?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Here you go.

Oh,

my God.

Yeah. Yeah, show me how much you can fucking count.

Oh, my God. I can feel you coming and getting tired like that.

um uh

I think you feel good.

Thank you.

That's what she said.

So, after a long discussion with our regional boss, Jen, we decided it's

important we teach the team here at Dinder Muffin the dangers of sexual

harassment. I started this morning with Hernandez, and I plan to continue this

afternoon with a very special lecture.

So, yes, Mr. Derry, I would like to put you down for 100 more packs of paper.

Well, yes, we actually offer very good financing on anybody that purchases over

75 packs.

Yes, Mr. Derry.

Yes, I want to make sure you are completely happy with the deal. Whatever

can... Whatever I... Yes, Mr. Deary, what... Yes, let me...

I'm sorry, Mr. Deary, could you hold on one moment, please?

Sorry about that, man. So how can I, uh, give this to you?

Would you put it down for a hundred more packs of paper?

Mmm, Dwayne.

Dwayne is like a banjo -playing squirrel.

Every day, I'm annoyed, yet amazed, all at the same time.

I'm pretty sure he likes nuts, too.

It was great the way you handled yourself back there with Jimmy. I mean,

idiots need to learn they need to get together and be nice to each other or

the heck out of here.

I love it when you talk dirty.

Heck, heck, heck.

Like that?

Yeah, I know how to do it. You do?

Yeah.

You like that thing? I like that.

Take that off, though.

You take it off.

Do you like this?

I like the fall? Yep.

You are God.

Look at that chick.

Take it off.

Take it off.

I can't.

Thank you.

Wait for my

pussycat.

special lecture from yours truly.

Today we'll be talking about, drumroll please,

sexual

harassment.

This is going to be a fun one, you know, more interesting than those

conversations we have about fixing the fax machines or minimizing overhead.

So sexual harassment is bad, blah blah.

Blah, blah, blah.

Now, how about a group activity to ring in the point? Any volunteers?

First, Michelle the genius.

Let's just say we're cut from the same cloth.

If she asked me to, I would die for her.

Method, samurai sword.

Or a herd of rabid bears.

I already have my volunteers. It was a figure of speech, please.

So without further ado, employees. of Dinder and

Muffin, I present to you from Cindy's Tulip Lounge, Candy.

Yeah,

you go, Kevin.

Now that's definitely sexual harassment.