Original subtitles

The shameless witch is dancing.

Oh, the shameful fairy.

Did you enjoy our fun outing?

Good, because we're here now.

You'll like it here. Every room is thick and spanned with tons of sunshine from

all the huge windows.

And their shepherd's pie is really good.

Listen, you have to stay here for now.

You mustn't go anywhere else.

And the rest is up to you, okay?

Time for morning.

My word, goodness.

All right, little ones.

There, there, don't cry.

Yes, that's a good girl.

It looks like this is a note from whoever left the baby.

Got the other 12 witches all chasing me. I'll be back for her when I've shook

them off. It may take years.

Her name is... Earwig.

Earwig?

If it's true that this child's mother has associated with twelve witches, then

it follows she must also be a witch.

I wonder what she might have done to anger all the other witches in her

Witches, is it? Bunch of rubbish.

Perhaps this means that little child is a witch as well.

What?

Nonsense.

There are simply no such thing as witches.

Right.

This is your home now.

She called you Earwig, the bug that burrows in your ear.

Let me see now.

A name like Earwig will not do.

Matron, are you all right?

Hello, everyone.

Welcome our newest.

Her name is Erica Wig.

Say hello.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What is it, boy?

We'll just have to make sure that we don't.

Yeah.

All right, let's go.

I really hate getting yelled at.

Silly boy, chances like this don't come along every day.

Come on.

Can I just wait out here?

Sure, if you think you've got the courage. Go right ahead.

What if, instead of a bell in the tower, we find a severed head inside it

swinging back and forth, back and forth? That'd be fun.

No, it would not.

Then, with its eyes wide open, it slowly turns around and just stares at us.

you going to do if we get invaded by Martians?

I read that Martians are friendly to humans. It says so in a Heinlein book.

I bet they're going to put you in a poor Nelson when they grab you with their

eight arms.

And then it'll be game over for you. See you next lifetime.

Martians don't have eight arms.

I was on it.

Erica, you haven't ever wanted a family of your own or to live somewhere other

than here, have you?

Nope.

Hmm.

Not at all.

Anybody who'd choose me would be pretty unusual.

But a normal family would be even worse. I'd only have two or three people to do

exactly as I want.

Six at most. What fun would that be?

After all, everyone around here does what I say.

And it's totally spick and span.

We get plenty of sunshine because the windows are huge.

And the shepherd's pie is really good.

Don't worry. There's no chance anyone will choose you either.

But a lot of people who visit here do like me.

Sometimes they even almost choose me.

All right, now this is important. Don't forget

to cross your eyes the way I caught you.

Am I clear, Master Custard?

Welcome back, Matron.

Is something the matter?

Is there trouble at your home?

Why would anything be wrong?

While at the station, I ran into our neighbor, Mr. Jenkins.

He said last night the children were dressed as ghosts. Oh, dear. Last night?

Did you notice anything strange?

No, I was totally unaware.

Perhaps the ghosts they saw were real?

Nonsense! Excuse me, Matron.

It was me he saw.

What?

Hey, Custard, you should go now.

Erica, what on earth do you mean?

This afternoon, someone is going to be adopted, aren't they?

So I decided to hold a farewell party.

Actually, I was going to invite you too.

After all, even the thought of saying goodbye to you is painful.

Sorry, did I take things too far?

Erica, such a sweet child.

Yes, dear, perhaps a little too far, but you could be selected today.

It's a mystery to me why a child as sweet and adorable as you never seems to

the one chosen.

Oh,

that's

right. It almost slipped my mind.

This is for you.

I know you've wanted it for a while now.

Is it a sweater?

Shh. Don't let the others know.

Right. Not a word.

Oh, I'm the happiest child this home has ever had.

Thanks, Matron. I love you.

Excuse me, Matron.

What do we say to Mr. Jenkins?

Ghosts are common in cemeteries.

You can tell him that.

Matron, let me carry this for you.

Isn't it too heavy?

Not at all. What a nice gesture.

Oh,

Erica! Well?

It's all done. I fixed your letter and it's already in the post.

You'll probably get the terribly romantic...

It's the young lady with a fine sense of smell.

Shipper's pie, right? It just has to be.

After all, your meat pies are the absolute best in the entire world, and

smell unbelievably divine.

Remind me, who's the head cook again? Why, Erica, of course.

Oh, no, it couldn't be me, because I don't have a big belly like this one

You might want to go on a diet.

What kind of wine glasses do I put up with this?

If you want to know what I'm making, you'll have to wait until lunchtime.

You're a great cook.

Look, he's watching us.

His eyes are almost twinkling.

She's kind.

Disgusting.

Those

kids

in there are actual living people. They're not dolls.

Not ornaments for their viewing pleasure.

All they really want is for us to be pretty little dolls on display.

Isn't that right, Custard?

Yes.

Yes. One moment, please.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

children line up nice and neatly.

Big smiles now, everyone.

This way. They're in here.

Huh?

Right. I'll introduce each one of them to you in order.

This is Maria Jimenez.

She's eight.

You wouldn't... I think so, to look at her, but she's quite an energetic little

girl. This is George MacLean. He loves trucks and bulldozers and other large

vehicles. And next is Christian Froome. He's crazy about sport.

He says he wants to be a professional cyclist when he grows up.

Next is Ashley Wrightfield.

She's the oldest girl in this home and has a very caring nature.

His parents were killed in a terrible fire.

What's worse is the fire was ruled proficient.

Oh, such an unfortunate boy.

Her name is Erica Wig.

She's been living with us since she was just an infant.

Oh.

Man, Drake, what say you?

What about her?

She should do.

We'll take this one.

No. What?

I'm not going.

What's come over you?

Shrekadeer, you know how everybody here just wants to see you with a family that

you can call your own.

But I don't want that. I want to stay with Cursed.

I know change is hard.

But these lovely people live just a short stroll away from here over on Lime

Avenue. You'll be able to come back and see your friends whenever you want to,

I'm sure of it. When school starts again, you'll be able to see Custard

single day.

Oh, if you wait in my office, I'll be with you shortly.

You should eat something.

If you don't, you'll be hungry later.

Get yourself ready. We'll be waiting downstairs.

Where

did this

come from?

Earwig.

You take care.

Erica?

Erica?

For the first time in my life, I'm being made to do something I don't want to

do. I mean...

Those are definitely horns.

Fine.

Challenge accepted.

Number 13.

Hmm. No surprise there.

I got you what you wanted. Now I don't want to be disturbed anymore.

This is where you'll be sleeping.

Now then, let's you and I get a few things straight.

My name is Bella Yaga.

I'm a witch.

I brought you to this house because I need another pair of hands.

If you work really hard, I shan't do anything to hurt you.

However,

if you're lazy... Great!

It's all right. I didn't really think you'd look like an actual foster mother

anyway.

So, it's settled.

You agree that you'll teach me everything you know about magic, and I

remain here and help you out.

Really?

It's settled then.

Into the shop with you.

Here, put this on.

Come along, girl.

You're not here to just dare.

If you don't like the way it is in here, you can clean it up on your own pie.

Now, grind those rat bones into powder for me, and be quick about it.

In this household, there's one rule that's crucial.

Learn it straight away.

Got it?

You must on no account for any reason ever dare to stamp the Mandrake.

Um, the Mandrake?

You mean... The man who lives here has two big horns on his head.

He doesn't have horns!

Well, not very often.

He tends to get those whenever he's been disturbed.

What else happens when he's disturbed?

Well,

awful, dreadful things.

If you're lucky, you'll never find out.

Now. You'd best get to work.

Hey, lady.

What do you be using this powder for?

Can you do magic with it?

Grind those bones so they're a fine powder.

Finer than flour.

Understand? Hey, what kind of magic? Who's this stuff for?

Is it you?

Or the mandrake?

More walking and less talking, you idiot.

Wow,

that's amazing.

Keep your hands moving like I told you to.

Good grief.

This one calls for a familiar.

Thomas! Time to work!

Crib notes?

Is

that...

Yes, hello?

Madam, yes, this is Bella Yaga speaking.

It's been such a long time.

Of course, yes, yes.

Your grandchild.

A spell for winning first prize in a dog show?

Yes, I understand.

The annual ballet recital. A spell to get rid of the lead, if I'm correct.

Making the next door neighbours daily a drive -in dice bell.

A love potion for the point next door.

All of it seemed pretty useless to me. I see, I see.

I shall bring it right away.

Yes, all right then. Have a wonderful day.

Thomas?

Thomas?

If you don't do what you're told, I'm going to give you one.

Thomas!

Thomas!

Thomas!

Thomas.

Magic. Grant me the power.

Make the ladies of Hoppy reach the finals in the dog show and win first

It smells like violence.

Quit gawking, you lazy girl.

We've got a mountain of work that needs to be finished by tonight.

Let's see now.

What have the demons brought us to dine on today?

Meat pie from Stoke -on -Trent Station Buffet.

With chips.

Station pie.

I loathe station pie.

That is my favorite meal.

I think...

I'm going to have to protect myself.

And if I can't stand it here anymore, I can

always...

It's an essential item for an urgent order.

Sorry to put you out. All right.

I'm counting on you.

A novel?

Hmm. Hmm.

What is this? It's total rubbish.

Maybe I should just rewrite it for him.

Earwig?

Huh?

Fedoris.

I'm completely trapped in here.

This might be the first time I've ever slept by myself.

Get up, you lazy beast!

Just as I suspected.

I'm the only one who uses this bathroom.

I guess this bathroom's mine.

Watch carefully.

In the future, I shall expect you to cook breakfast for us.

Sure.

Oh, where do you sleep at night? I can't seem to find the door to your bedroom.

You'll mind your own business if you know what's good for you.

And if I decide not to listen? What then?

Just what would you do?

Well, then, I'll give you worms.

Blue and purple ones that never stop wriggling.

You'll see.

And they're large.

Remember that.

Oh, she's a witch.

And this is a washing machine?

Never mind your grumbling.

Hurry up now and get that basket filled up with noodles.

There's no getting out of here that way.

Why not?

It's because of the Mandrake. He's got those demons guarding every way out.

That so?

Basically, I need to find a way to get the Mandrake to do whatever I want,

with her.

Don't get down there like that. See to the chopping.

Hey, lady.

What kind of spell is this going to be for?

You just hurry up and finish that.

And we'll have a lesson after?

I have some briny berries for you to grind when you're done.

By hand.

By hand.

Will you teach me some magic?

Go out and pick some thistles from the backyard.

Be quick about it.

Why does she always send me out here for prickly things?

All right, I'll pick some.

There aren't enough nettles in here.

Go pick some more.

What? Again?

What do you mean, again? How dare you?

One more thing. Pick a basket full of raspberry, too.

Get a move on.

The next skins are all cut up. Twenty -four of them. Now will you

teach me? Go pick belladonna leaves.

A hundred and twenty will do.

Palmer!

Wash all those with the other.

Those ones too, yeah?

You can wash everything that's in the sink.

Everything. Got it.

What are you gawking at? Hurry and finish your work.

Hey, could I have a go at doing that?

Never mind that. Just go and do what you were told to do.

Yes,

hello.

That's it.

I'm sick of this.

She has no intention of teaching me magic.

Not ever.

You summon me, Master. As you deserve.

Fetch me dishes.

Make them the Winterford ones.

Have you fished my matter?

Tonight,

I want you to bring the fish and chips that they make over at the Silverhines

pub.

By your command!

That smells so awful.

The Mandrake's got it so good.

Aha!

The only one who can control the demons seems to be the Mandrake.

I guess I used to be a lot like the Mandrake with everyone.

I could eat what I wanted, whenever I wanted.

This evening, you shall bring Shibbert's pie from the children's home.

Aye, aye, Captain!

I'm

really

misgusted.

That's just so... So much I wish I could tell him.

Thomas?

She really works us hard, doesn't she? You and I have got it really tough,

we, custard?

Oh, sorry, I mean Thomas.

me of him.

Whoa!

This is great, isn't it, Custard?

I know.

Hey, Custard, take a good look.

From today on, you'll be hanging out the laundry.

Twenty -three.

Twenty -four.

Twenty -five.

Twenty -four.

Twenty -three.

Where was I?

You better do it properly, or it's one for you.

There's no reason that you can't count these yourself.

I'm rather farsighted, you know. You think I can see something so tiny?

Matron was exactly the same.

Enough of your idle chatter. When you finish counting the newties, grains,

and millipede legs, and rhododendron feeds, and moth claws, count

all of them.

If you slack off, it's worms for you.

It's awful.

These don't look like horns. They look like donkey ears.

He doesn't look anything like that. I've got to start over.

Ben's just on the other side of the wall.

Hang on, you actually talk?

Of course I do, just not very often.

Oh, you might want to stop drawing that.

I think it's beginning to disturb the mandrake.

Hey,

do you know about spells?

Hmm, I know a lot more than you do about spells.

I've seen you looking in that book of hers.

The spell I believe you're looking for is somewhere towards the back.

I suppose I could show you where it is if you... Yes, please!

But wait, I don't get it. How can his den be on the other side of that wall?

doesn't make any sense.

Over there is the bathroom. Yeah, I know. This house is weird, but trust me,

it's there.

You coming?

Shush. You can just lick them clean when we're done.

I'm not a cat.

Well, look what we have here.

Now, use those thumbs of yours to flip from the back and turn the pages till I

say stop.

Look, this one is called To Make a Plague of Worms.

This one's Unleash a Violent Thunderstorm in Order to Spoil a Church

A spell to make the... City buses come on time.

A spell to preserve the body from all magic.

Wait, wait. That's the one. A spell to preserve the body from all magic.

If we can figure out how to use it, it'll protect us from anything she tries

throw at us.

What?

Yeah, because there's... Wait, I mean Thomas.

This spell needs hundreds of ingredients to pull it off.

Well, every one of them is somewhere in this room.

And we've got all night to find them.

So, shall we begin?

All right.

According to this... You're going to need plenty of powdered rat bones, a

generous helping of new thighs, and well -sliced toes for the first stage of the

brew.

Good. While you're getting those things ready, you can start heating up the hen

bay.

So good. It says you have to heat three hairs of a black cat's tail along with

the plant.

Well, I'd appreciate it if you could at least try to take them gently.

Right,

now the belladonna.

That's the fourth bottle on the right.

Three drops in with a henbane. No, no, no, no.

Three. Three drops.

Now it says position the familiar. Well, I'm already here.

The familiar?

What's that?

The familiar is a cat or other animal who acts as a sort of witch's assistant

when casting a spell.

For a spell to work properly, the animal needs to be close to the spell mixture

at just the right moment.

Well... Everybody knows the best animal for making a spell work is a black

cat.

Oh, yeah?

Then why is it you're always running away?

Come on, I don't like the kind of spells she does. They're disgusting.

They make me feel like I'm being stroked the wrong way.

Oh, yeah, one drop of rose elixir goes into the green mix now.

OK, home stretch.

Get a large bowl, gather all the ingredients, put them in the bowl, then

say the word.

Well, what do I say?

It's not written there! What are the words?

Calm down.

They'll be the usual words of magical binding.

I think I've probably heard her use about six different words or so.

You are better remember the custard.

I mean, come on. After all the work I've put into this, go on, tell me all the

words. Every single one that you've heard.

All right, I'll say them, but only if you promise to stop calling me that

ridiculous name.

And then you've got to say them back to me using exactly the same tone and

inflection as me, okay?

You're the witch here.

Not me.

Right, let's go.

Wow. Smells of roses.

What's wrong with you?

Some of the things I was saying were just swearing because I couldn't

all the words.

Well,

I hope it's still going to work.

My buddy?

Mm -hmm. You'd better do me first. I found the recipe, and I worked every bit

hard as you did on this, you know.

Not just that.

I'm tired of her giving me those worms.

She does it to me every time she's annoyed with me.

Okay, that's fair.

This is terrible. I hope it soaks in eventually.

You can turn around now.

What for?

Better work and work well. I've no intention of ever going through all that

again.

I really don't want to do that again either.

Get up, you lazy little beast.

The Mandrake wants his bacon and eggs and he wants them now.

Tell him to get one of his demons to do it.

What was that?

I'm coming.

But let's be clear. I am not your slave. I don't care what you think.

I've had enough of

being treated like a slave.

You'll get what you...

Stop moping about.

Go outside and pick some nettles and halibut.

I am sick of getting taken advantage of.

And now the weather's doing it!

Yes, I'll get right to it.

Stupid customer.

Don't put those there.

I told you to put all the plants in the cauldron, not the table.

Useless little beast.

And I told you I'm not your slave. I agreed to assist you, and you agreed

you were going to teach me everything you knew about magic. But instead, all

you've done is work me half to death.

I didn't agree to teach you. I got you from St. Morwald's to be another pair of

hands. Well, you're a cheat.

You told Miss Matron that you were going to be my foster mother. You promised.

Foster mother indeed.

Now go and put more fuel under the cauldron.

And hurry.

If you don't do it, it's worms for you.

So, are you going to teach me magic, or are you? Of course I won't. Why would I

bother? You're nothing more than a spare pair of hands.

I see.

That settles it, then.

Orphanage's shepherd's pie.

It's one of my favorites.

Do you ride a broomstick?

Certainly not.

All of my customers are very respectable.

They are the sort of people that belong to Friends of the Earth and Mother's

Union.

If I flew into their neighborhood on the back of a broomstick and one of the

customer's neighbors happened to see me, they would throw such a fit.

Now then, enough with your silly questions.

Finish your work by the time I return.

I want that floor so clean that we can eat supper off it tonight.

Thomas!

Thomas! Where are you?

What's going on?

She's having a nap.

The only time I get any peace is when she... Yes, I know, but just help me for

five minutes. Think.

What's a spell for giving someone an extra pair of hands?

Huh?

Great idea.

The trickiest part of this is going to be the hair. We need to tie some of her

hair around the dog. Well, yeah, good luck with that.

There's no chance she's going to let you touch her hair.

Trust me.

Don't worry. I'll find a way to get them, you'll see.

That old bag.

It's always about an extra set of hands with her.

I'll make sure that she gets them.

of your work.

find a good place to put these hands. What do you think?

What about her elbows?

What about her knees?

She's coming back!

Quick! You have to hide it!

What are you doing? There's no singing in this house.

Where did you hear that song?

If you think this floor is clean enough, you've got another thing coming.

There'll be no supper for you unless you do better.

I have to figure out how I'm going to get a hold of some of her hair.

Now, where exactly is her bedroom in this house?

I know the Mandrake's room is located on the other side of my bedroom wall.

think it is? No, that's a cat's coal vine.

You won't find a hair on the floor. It just stays in that disgusting mess on

head.

Okay,

that's

a bit more like it.

Now off to your bedroom.

You'll have only bread and cheese for supper tonight.

Perhaps that'll teach you not to be so lazy in the future.

Mr. Demon?

Hello?

Bother. Thought I might see one this time.

Mr. Mandrake, your writing is awfully boring.

What a waste.

I guess it's about Bella Yaga.

I bet she's left at least some of her hair in the hairbrush. All I've got to

is... Find it.

I'm thinking that if the Mandrake's room is situated just the other side of the

bedroom wall, then it stands to reason the Le Jogger's room is

there, too.

Ah, bother.

This is not going to help me get my hands on one of Bela Yaga's hairs.

I just don't understand magic.

I have to somehow get her to teach me about it.

Wake up!

The Mandrake wants to have fried bread for breakfast today!

What are you doing in there? Hurry it up!

Yes! Be right there!

You'll get what you deserve.

What is this?

I made fried bread.

It's my first time.

Do you like it?

No!

Why didn't you teach her how to cook it correctly?

Well, I, uh... But all you do is fry it. It's something a child could do.

Obviously you're wrong.

Don't ever disturb me like this again!

How may I serve my master today?

Don't be rude.

Take this away.

Then go to the scout camping, Epping Forest.

They always make fried bread there.

Now go fetch us some.

How dare you? How could you even think disturbing the Mandrake like that?

You very nearly had me in terrible trouble with him.

Well, maybe you should try teaching me things once in a while instead of just

making me do stuff that I don't know. No pathetic excuses!

You are strictly here to work, you understand?

I need another pair of hands, a pause or whatever.

Now get to work, you lazy beast!

Anything too annoying, eh?

Fine. Two minutes then.

You know what'll happen if you're late coming back.

Don't disturb me.

You wait and see.

You'll feel my curses.

You wicked, ungrateful b -

she was able to break the spell and after all that effort

just

as i thought our spell works perfectly

the worms are all down on the floor and not doing us any harm

You're even worse than custard.

Hmm.

Oh, hang on.

Hey, Thomas, if the witch sees these worms just sitting here, she'll know we

protected ourselves.

Gotta hide these.

Great idea. Seem to come right when you need them most.

What are you doing?

Sending each and every one of these worms into the bathroom to hide them.

No! No!

Oh,

come on, Custard.

Sorry.

Come on.

Come on, let's face it. Worms are no big deal compared to, uh, three -armed

moths.

That's what you get!

What did you say? I told you that you are not going to love me.

You were a rock star, right? I love earwig. I love it.

Also, who was that beautiful redhead lady?

Your girlfriend?

Did that woman give you the worms or didn't she?

Uh -huh. And I tried to put them in the bathroom through a hole in the wall to

hide them from her.

It was a mistake.

Magical worms will wriggle to magic places.

The worms made their way into my den.

Music is the...

It carries you to magical places.

That woman will not do that to you again.

As for you, you won't do that again either.

I told her to teach you properly so that I could then be left alone.

I don't like to be disturbed.

Thank you!

She had amazing talent for playing drums and fashioning spells.

Not so fast.

So, what about the witch's law?

Enough! Whatever I end up doing, it'll be on my turn.

So long, you coward.

Those twelve stubborn crows are in charge of a lot, but they don't control

life.

Time for you to go.

I don't like to be disturbed.

If I do, it'll be a lot more...

You want them to.

The rest is up to one thing.

Me.

I'll be learning magic. Oh, so I was told.

Can't wait to start.

Fine. I just wish I knew how you did it.

I just want to say thank you.

We were talking just now and the mandrake said you were a great witch and

terrific drummer as well.

I hope I can be like you someday.

Stop that at once.

Now then, cleaning comes first for you.

Because we can't function in this mess.

Don't disturb me.

I'm here to stay.

If you come bother me, I'll curse you away.

Hey, Bella. Why don't we all go on a picnic sometime?

In your nice yellow car.

You stupid girl.

If you've got time to do that, you've got time to learn a spell.

As for that car, it belongs to the Mandrake. Oh, I was kind of hoping that

you would drive me. Stupid girl.

That's not what I'm talking about at all.

Six months have gone by since they took me into this house.

Now, everyone here does exactly what I want them to.

I mean, it's almost like I'm in the orphanage.

The mixed grill.

That's what I'll have.

These days, the mandrake's nice enough to call me...

Deer wig.

Come in. And I quite like it.

Deer wig.

Good morning, sir. May I have the mixed grills today?

Oh, I read yesterday's manuscript.

It was so interesting.

That path in the middle where the children wander into the tower in the

then climb all the way to the top only to find a severed head instead of a

I'll get right to it.

Even the demons, who are only loyal to the mandrake, are starting to do my

bidding now.

Oh, demons!

You summoned me, my most beautiful and splendid mistress.

The mandrake and I will have the mixed grill and pellet yogurt.

Even so, there's still one thing I just can't get to seem to go my way.

No matter what I do, custard won't come.

He says he's much too afraid of the Mandrake to come anywhere near the

But it's all right.

Just like I made things go my way at my new home.

I'm sure I'll eventually be able to make Custer do what I want.

Merry Christmas.

No, no, no, no.

Golden on my teeth, don't