Original subtitles

Hello, testing. One, two...

Go-go juice.

- = hi. - Or motion lotion.

Beaver. Female.

Welcome to manned space exploration.

The Mercury spacecraft is six feet in diameter and nine feet tall.

Cos I don't like your face.

Hey.

Hey, come 'ere.

I want...

I want you to see something.

Kurt's brain was just constantly going.

He was always thinking about something.

I mean, there was always something going on.

You could just see it.

Party on, Wayne.

It was awe-inspiring, but it was like, "oh, well, I guess I'm not..." You know?

“I guess I'm not all that special.”

But, you know... But then, as I grew up,

I'm, like, I'm so glad I don't... I never got that genius brain.

Maybe he just felt praise was hard for him to take, maybe,

and he didn't know how to handle that.

So he would downplay it all the time.

But that was his goal, was to get to as perfect as he could.

As good as he could get.

Write as well as he could, sing as well as he could,

play as well as he could. And then when it all came together...

It's so... I can't sit... It's too painful.

This is too painful.

You're gonna make it, man.

With the support of his friends and family, he's gonna make it.

And you see the art,

I mean, a lot of his messages are as plain as day.

You just... I'm not even gonna say what they are, but you can see it.

And it's all there. And, you know, in 20/20 hindsight, you're like,

"oh, my god, why didn't I see that?" Or, "I should've said something."

But, you know, it's like...

♪ Some say love

♪ itls ariver

♪ When I was an alien

♪ cultures weren't opinions

♪ gotta find a way, a better way

♪ when I'm there

♪ gotta find a way, a better way

♪ a better way

♪ never met a wise man

♪ if so, it's a woman

♪ gotta find a way, a better way

♪ when I'm there

♪ gotta find a way, a better way

♪ a better way

♪ gotta find a way, a better way

♪ when I'm there

♪ gotta find a way, a better way

♪ a better way

= ♪ Gotta find a way, a better way

♪ when I'm there

♪ gotta find a way, a better way

well, America was booming after the war and everybody had everything.

Even if you didn't have much, you still had enough.

Aberdeen was a logging town and a mill town.

And it was booming.

♪ Wake up, little susie

you saw everybody downtown paying their bills or shopping.

It was a lovely, awesome place to raise children.

My kids loved that town.

♪ Wake up, little susie, and weep

♪ the movie's over, it's four o'clock and we're in trouble deep

♪ wake up, little susie

♪ wake up, little susie

so, Don was working at a gas station over in hoquiam.

You know, he had the black horn-rimmed glasses

and his ears kind of stuck out a little

and he had the crew cut, and that's not good on anybody.

I kind of helped him with everything.

He didn't really know what he was doing with style.

I guess, like, we were more friends.

I didn't know what falling in love was, so I had never experienced it.

So I just thought because I liked him, I loved him.

And so he got me an engagement ring and we got engaged.

You know, it was fun!

I mean, it was like, "ok, all those problems are behind me."

“Now I'm gonna have babies!"

And I just couldn't wait to get pregnant.

I mean, that was the goal.

And so I went to dr ehrhart and he said, "you're so young."

"You just need to get... get on your feet with being a housewife."

And, you know, I just didn't listen to anybody.

I used to think, "why did I marry Don cobain?"

And I was, like, no, everything really did happen for a reason.

Kurt had to be born. It was... it was a must.

He was the first grandchild on both sides.

Everybody was coming over constantly.

I can't even describe what a magnet he was.

People just came to him.

I was head over heels in love with that child.

He was so kind and so worried about people.

You know, if they were ok, or if somebody got hurt.

And then, on top of that,

he started singing and playing guitar.

And once he could draw, he drew all the time.

- Let's sing now, mom. - Ok. Say who you are.

Who are you?

Who are you, Kurt?

Who are you? Who are you?

Goodbye! I'm Kurt cobain.

- Yay! - Yay! Go! Go!

Kurt, he was full of energy. Always busy.

And I had this old rocking chair in the corner of the front room.

He'd be upside down

with his head hanging off where your legs would be

and his feet up on the back of the rocking chair

going 90 miles an hour in it.

Going so fast and it would be hitting the back of the wall,

and he'd be repeating everything verbatim off sesame street.

♪ Would you like to hear my voice

♪ sprinkled with emotion

and I thought, "before I have this next baby,

we've gotta try to get this one to calm down."

So I take him to the paediatrician, dr fulton.

He did a rapid eye movement test with a flashlight in his eyes,

and he went, "ok, we got trouble here."

And he said, "ok, I'm gonna give you this tablet."

And I believe it was something like ritalin.

So I gave it to him that night and, oh, my god!

He just went off the rails.

♪ If I had to lose a mile

♪ if I had to touch feelings

♪ I would lose my soul

♪ ihe way I do

♪ I don't have fo think

♪ I only have to do it

♪ the results are always perfect

♪ and that's old news

♪ would you like to hear my voice

♪ sprinkled with emotion

Kurt, he was hyper.

Full of energy. Always busy.

You know, jumping off of things, knocking things over.

Anything that had to do with being a normal child.

And Don, he didn't know how to handle that.

He was one of those kind of people

that just thought that children should be seen and not heard

and shouldn't cause any trouble.

I mean, he belittled and ridiculed Kurt.

And Kurt would be ashamed.

I mean, it really hurt him to be embarrassed.

Then, I don't know.

I just... I started to mature.

You know, I started getting older, and kind of looking back at...

Kind of the song that may have even stirred this in me,

is that all there is?

You know, is this my life? I haven't done anything with my life.

In those days, people didn't get divorced.

I mean, I didn't know anybody that was divorced.

You just... you were in the soup.

You didn't think about divorce.

Kurt was nine at the time.

And everybody was talking about it.

It just embarrassed him to death that we had gotten divorced.

He took light bulbs out of all the lights

and locked the baby-sitter and Kim outside and just became really unruly.

And I said, "this is not going to happen any more."

And so I took him over to his dad's house.

She couldn't handle him.

So, I took him.

I liked it, really, you know, having him,

him and I together like that.

And I think there's one thing that I said at one time

that I was never gonna get married again.

And I think he took that for a word.

Then I met Jennifer and we got married

and, you know, he had a stepbrother and a sister and then our son, Chad.

He wanted to be in a family, period.

And I felt that just from the beginning.

The game nights that we had, that was really important to him.

You know, if we didn't want to do it on a Wednesday night,

you know, he'd say, "nope! We have to. That's what we..."

He just... I could feel that he just really liked that time,

but he always wanted to win.

And if he didn't win, he was mad.

He wanted to be the most loved

and it just wasn't the ideal world that he thought a family should be.

S50, he just decided he wasn't gonna do anything anybody said.

He'd just lay on the couch and watch TV.

Go down in his room and play the guitar.

And then he started just doing really mean things to the kids.

And then, it just got so...

I think it was kind of my fault in a way

because I couldn't deal with it any more.

And I told Don he was gonna have to get out of the house.

He went to Wendy's brother's for a while.

And with my mom and dad, he even lived with them for a while,

you know, then he'd come back to us and still have problems.

It was like nobody...

After a couple of weeks, they wanted him out.

I think the sad part of the whole thing

is that Kurt just really wanted to be with his mom.

♪ Underneath the bridge

♪ ihe tarp has sprung a leak

♪ and the animals I've trapped

♪ have all become my pets

♪ and I'm living off of grass

♪ and the drippings from the ceiling

♪ it's ok to eat fish

♪ cos they don't have any feelings

♪ something in the way

♪ Something in the way, yeah

♪ something in the way

♪ Something in the way, yeah

He just was in so much pain

that he, you know, took it out on his mom

and took it out on his dad

and took it out on his siblings.

But it's almost like he didn't...

He didn't feel worthy because he was rejected, basically.

And I don't know how anybody deals

with having your whole family reject you.

♪ Like most babies smell like butter

♪ his smell smelled like no other

♪ he was born scentless and senseless

♪ he was born a scentless apprentice

♪ Go away

♪ get away

♪ go away

In a community that stresses macho male sexual stories

as the highlight of all conversation,

I was an underdeveloped, immature little dude that never got laid

and was constantly razzed.

Oh, poor little kid.

It bothered me, probably more so because I was horny

and frequently had to make up stories like,

"oh, when I went on vacation, I met this chick

and we fucked and she loved it," etcetera, etcetera.

This typical pubescent problem

was an effector in the height of my problems

with my father and stepmom.

You know, the typical wicked-stepmom story.

And so, I moved to both grandparents'

and four sets of aunts' and uncles' and so forth and so on within the year.

And in eighth grade, my mom had no choice to take me in

because my dad packed my stuff

and drove me to her house in the morning and left me there.

She was pissed.

I accumulated quite a healthy complex, not to mention a complexion.

Then one day, I discovered the most ultimate form of expression ever:

Marijuana. Oh, boy! Pot.

I could escape all day long and not have routine nervous breakdowns.

Trevor was a guy I hated but resorted to becoming friends with

because he was the only person I could get pot from.

He was the kingpin.

Trevor, Ace, John and Darren,

all white-trash, lowlife scum of the earth, according to the jocks,

had been going to this girl's house after school, and they invited me.

We got to the door and a very fat girl let us in.

It wasn't obvious to me for over an hour

that this girl seemed kind of quiet

until one of the guys pointed out that she was in a special ed class.

I'm sure a lot of kids would call her a retard and some just slow,

and at the time, and still to this day, I would call her quiet and illiterate

but not retarded.

The object of the guys who had been going there for the past month

was to steal booze from the downstairs basement den of her house.

While others distracted her,

one would go down and take a fifth and then exit out the downstairs.

So we'd do this routine every other day

and got away with it for, oh, about a month.

And during that month

happened to be the epitome of my mental abuse from my mother.

It turned out that pot didn't help me escape my troubles too well any more,

and I was actually enjoying doing rebellious things

like stealing booze and busting store windows,

and nothing ever mattered.

I decided within the next month,

I'll not sit on my roof and think about jumping,

but I'll actually kill myself. And I wasn't going out of this world

without actually knowing what it was like to get laid.

So one day after school, I went to the girl's house alone

and invited myself in and she offered me some twinkies

and I sat on her lap and I said, "let's fuck."

And I touched her tits and she went into her bedroom

and got undressed in front of me,

and I watched and realised that it was actually happening.

So I tried to fuck her but didn't know how

and asked her if she'd ever done this before.

And she said, "a lot of times," mainly with her cousin.

I got grossed out very heavily

with how her vagina smelled and her sweat reeked, so I left.

My conscience grew to where I couldn't go to school for a week,

and when I went back, I got in-house suspension for skipping,

and that day, the girl's father came in

screaming and accusing someone of taking advantage of his daughter.

And so during lunch, a rumour started, and by the next day,

everyone was waiting for me to yell and cuss and spit at me,

calling me "the retard fucker".

I couldn't handle the ridicule,

so I got high and drunk and walked down to the train tracks

and laid down and put two big pieces of cement on my chest and legs

and I waited for the 11 o'clock train.

And the train came closer and closer and closer,

and it went on the next track besides me instead of over me.

The tension from school had an effect on me

and the train scared me enough to try to rehabilitate myself,

and my lifting weights and mathematics seemed to be improving,

so I became less manically depressed,

but still never had any friends because I...

I hated everyone, for they were so phoney.

When Kurt was about 15, he moved back in with mom and I.

It was a struggle.

You know, it was still him wanting to rebel

and getting stoned and going out with his friends

and not wanting to, you know, do chores

and, you know, he was always wanting to, like, just do his own thing.

He wanted normalcy.

He wanted the mom, the dad and the kids, and everything happy.

But then, he didn't, cos he kinda fought against it.

So he fought against what he really wanted.

- Hello? Hello? - You still there?

Yeah. I'm putting you on speaker phone, though.

Ok. Are you recording this or writing it down?

Yeah, I'm recording and writing.

People don't realise where we really came from, you know?

What an isolated hellhole it really is.

I mean, if witch burnings had been, like, legal, we'd all be dead now.

- You know? - Fuck, yeah.

Did you ever see that movie over the edge?

- Yeah! - I mean, god!

That movie had such an effect on me.

Ok, you guys. You are to take these home to your parents.

It's to let them know about a special emergency meeting

to discuss the problems about you people.

I love that movie.

I always wanted to do that in front of you.

Me, too. I tried, you know. I wanted to be a vandal,

and I wanted to hold everyone captive in the school.

Everybody that's ever messed with me in one room.

That'd be just about everybody in town.

We should go down there and tell them all to go to hell.

- Yeah! - Come on, man!

I don't know how many of us are willing to admit

just how deep in trouble some of the kids in this city are.

Has anyone ever sat down and talked to these kids?

I talk to them six hours a day until I'm blue in the face.

I spend more time with your kids than you people do.

You think those kids are interested in learning?

You ought to come in and see what goes on in the classroom.

♪ Won't you believe it? It's just my luck

♪ won't you believe it? It's just my luck

♪ no recess!

♪ No recess!

♪ No recess!

Most of the teachers, god...

The last couple of years of school in the mid-eighties,

there was so much Reagan propaganda going on.

This teacher would just go off on it every day.

Practise your piano.

You need practice on it. = go to hell!

Burn the place to the fucking ground.

Yeah!

♪ No recess!

♪ No recess!

♪ No recess!

High school's such a worthless fucking nothing.

God, what torture, you know?

No, I quit the last two months of school.

I was so withdrawn by that time,

and I was so antisocial that I was almost insane, you know?

I felt so different and so crazy that people just left me alone.

♪ No recess!

Did Kurt find the underground

or did the underground find him?

I think he went in search of it and I think they found each other.

He was searching for whatever made him feel like he wasn't alone

and that he wasn't so different.

When did you first hear punk rock?

You know, I'd wanted to hear punk rock forever.

Of course, they didn't have it in our record shop in aberdeen.

But then finally, buzz Osborne, who'd been a friend of mine off and on,

made me a couple of compilation tapes.

And I was completely blown away.

I would lip sync to those tapes and I wore them out

and I'd play them every day, you know. It was the greatest thing.

It expressed the way I felt socially and politically

and it was the anger that I felt, the alienation.

And I realised that this is what I've always wanted to do.

♪ Fill me in on your new vision

♪ wake me up with indecision

♪ help me trust your mighty wisaom

♪ yes, I eat cow, I am not proud

just the fact that we were actually playing music live in a room,

it was amazing. It was, like, the most incredible thing I've ever done.

♪ Easy in an easy chair

♪ poop as hard as rock

♪ I don't like you anyway

♪ seal it in a box

if we played together in the house for a couple of hours

and if two people stopped by, we considered that a gig, you know.

A show. That was good enough.

We had an audience of two people, you know.

Locals who hated our guts and thought it was terrible music.

I think I was 18 or 19 years old and Kurt was, like, 17.

But he liked punk rock music, and so that, you know, piqued my interest.

And then I noticed what a good artist he was.

And so he was working at the time as a janitor,

but he'd always have to, like, do some kind of art,

usually defacing something.

He never had, like, idle hands.

It just came out of him. He had to express himself.

Well, who taught you how to play guitar anyway?

Brilliant. Brilliant improvisational.

Wow, Jerry Garcia would really like this.

- I'm gonna send him a tape. - Send it to Jerry.

You just have to sprinkle it with patchouli or something.

He'll dig right into it.

Wait, wait, wait. Ready?

You alcoholics. Film in the dark, you dick!

♪ Pick me, pick me, yeah

♪ live alone, lone single

♪ at least, at least, yeah

♪ everyone is hollow

♪ at least, at least, yeah

♪ everyone is playing

♪ pick me, pick me, yeah

♪ you can even...

♪ Yeah

♪ dive, dive, dive

♪ dive in me

♪ dive, dive, dive

♪ dive in me

♪ dive in me

♪ dive in me

♪ dive in me

He really didn't want to live with his mom or his dad.

He wanted to be on his own.

So he moves into this dump.

He wasn't making a lot of money,

and I think he was scared, not being able to pay his own way.

And in the hallway outside the apartment, it was completely graffitied.

Scooby doo. Rocky and bullwinkle.

But it was pornographic.

There was just no way he was gonna be the nine-to-five work guy

that comes home with the briefcase and wife cooks him dinner.

I mean, that just wasn't ever gonna happen.

But he wanted some type of connection.

This is love, this is love.

This is shitting and pissing and fucking all over each other.

Licking and spitting up gerber baby food.

Not worrying if the plastic tarp is on the floor cos, baby, this is love.

Well, I know some people will say that...

That I treated Kurt maternally, took care of him.

But I like to think it was more I was trying to nurture him

rather than take care of him.

Trying to nurture who he was and get him to...

Let him do his art, let him do his music

and encourage him to get better at it as opposed to trying to stifle it.

But also not try to be the mom,

but trying to be a nurturing girlfriend or friend.

We met at a party and, you know, I liked him. I had a crush on him.

And then finally someone told him,

"don't you get that she likes you?" Or something.

Cos he was just kinda clueless about it.

I liked that he was funny. He made me laugh.

He wasn't afraid to be, you know, goofy or silly.

But mostly we just had a good time hanging out.

I think he might have been a bit angry at the way he was treated at school

and angry with his mom and with his dad.

I think it was not so much that it was hard for him to accept love

but the fact that maybe he was afraid of getting hurt.

He was living in this tiny little house in aberdeen.

I just said, "why don't you just move in with me and be in Olympia?"

So we moved in together.

It was nice to have someone to share the evening with

as well as the daytime.

Sitting on the couch at the same time, each reading a book.

It was just... You kind of felt grown up

as opposed to just being still, you know, a teenager.

I'd like to think he was happy.

We were very much in love with each other,

because he wanted to be a musician.

He wanted, you know, to get his band going.

He was ambitious. He didn't want to just be playing in a bar band, you know,

and play music that way. He wanted to be a success.

Good luck, good luck, man. Good luck.

Part the red seas.

Shut the fuck up!

♪ Bell on door clanks, come on in

♪ Floyd observes my hairy chin

♪ sit down in the chair, don't be afraid

♪ steamed hot towel on my face

♪ I was shaved

♪ Barney ties me to the chair

♪ I can't see, I'm really scared

♪ Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip

♪ pee-pee pressed against my lips

♪ I was shamed

Ok, thanks, everybody, for coming.

When I met him, he was a handyman.

And then he got a job as a janitor,

cleaning, like, doctor's offices and dentist's offices and things like that.

But, yeah, he just ended up not having another job after that.

- So who would support him? - Me.

And what would he do all day while you were at work?

It was funny cos sometimes he'd just sit there and watch TV for four hours

and you'd think he wasn't creating,

but he'd be playing guitar while he was doing that or think up stuff later

and then you'd go out for a few hours and you'd come back

and there was a painting on the wall or there's a big comic strip or whatever;

he wrote a song, you know, and recorded it.

Described them arriving at this scene...

This is, like, fucking rad, you know.

Co0-0-0-0l.

Where's the m-m-m-m...

♪ I could be a girl, she can breed me

♪ I can be a boy, she could break free

♪ I don't even care

♪ we could be all three

♪ she said

warm babies on my cold feet

at the end of my bed.

I want you to see something.

Shh! They're in the house.

They're in the house.

Some highlights follow,

but we warn that viewers may find parts of the footage disturbing.

The object of the exercise

is to observe the monster for as long as possible.

♪ Think I'll go for a walk outside now

♪ ihe summer sun's calling my name

♪ I hear you now, I just can't stay inside all day, d-d-day

a person who is success-minded

has a success consciousness and...

- ♪ Everybody's smiling - ..Success awareness.

♪ Into the sunshine

why is that so groovy?

♪ She should have been a son

Hello?

No, she's not. She went to work.

Alright.

Bass part.

♪ Na, na-na na, na-na na, na-na na

A person who is success minded

has a success consciousness and suc-suc-suc-suc-suc...

Boy, am I gonna wake you up.

N-n-n-n-now c'mon.

You know this is really the best way to start your day.

Now don't think about anything else but getting that body in shape

cos you deserve it.

Now hold the stomach in. C'mon. Gimme some good posture.

Hold your head up high. Tighten those buns.

Get ready because this is for you!

♪ She said she'd take me anywhere

♪ she'd take me anywhere

♪ as long as she stays with me

♪ she said she'd take me anywhere

♪ she'd take me anywhere

♪ as long as I stayed clean

♪ kiss, kiss Molly's lips

This song has two notes.

That's it.

This note and this note.

♪ She said she'd take me anywhere

♪ she'd take me anywhere

♪ as long as she stays with me

♪ she said she'd take me anywhere

♪ she'd take me anywhere

♪ as long as I stayed clean

♪ kiss, kiss Molly's lips

Look at these losers.

Bunch of long-haired fuckin' sissies, man.

Hi, my name is Dana.

I caught nirvana in their dressing room on their recent tour.

At what point are you on this tour right now?

We're at the point of kicking each other's ass.

I would imagine that the constant party atmosphere on the road

would create a great deal of physical and mental stress.

How do you deal with it?

We prepared for the rock and roll lifestyle. We can kick it, man.

You know what'? We should move in our stuff before it starts raining.

Yeah.

A hundred percent humidity here in fort worth, Texas.

Does success ever frighten you?

Go in the Van! Hey!

No, because we actually want to become more successful

so we can have a comfortable life.

Ok, man. Take it away, buddy.

Don't worry about me. I know this is kind of a strange angle, but it'll work.

Yes. That's a big camera, man. That's not...

How would you describe the music you play and the things you do?

Well, the things we do is just,

we play a very powerful, high-energy type of rock and roll.

We move around on stage a lot, and...

Just scream with an abandon, I guess.

What makes you want to be nirvana?

What makes us want to be nirvana?

We're nirvana because we're not aerosmith or something.

Or the vegetables. Or...

What's the future of nirvana'?

The future of nirvana? I don't know.

Hopefully try to write some more good songs.

That's all we care about is writing good music.

If we get popular or not, it doesn't matter.

The music's more important.

We don't have any more songs, so this is the last one.

♪ Would you believe me when I tell you you are the queen of my heart?

♪ Please don't deceive me when I hurt you

♪ just ain't the way if seems

♪ can you feel my love buzz?

I remember the first review nirvana ever got

was for the love buzz/big cheese single we did,

and it was in this hip magazine out of Michigan these scenesters were doing,

and they gave us a bad review.

They said it was like lynyrd skynyrd but without the flares.

Kurt was really hurt with that and he was telling me that.

He goes... and I said, "don't worry about it."

"That's just... they're just scenesters, they're hipsters or..."

You know, "screw them!” or whatever.

But, you know, Kurt hated being humiliated.

He hated it.

He hated it!

If he ever thought he was humiliated, then you'd see the rage come out.

And so he was also very careful about,

and stubborn about how the way the art and the work was presented

because he didn't want to be humiliated.

I could be humiliated, like... I humiliate myself or whatever.

But not Kurt. No.

He had really violent dreams a lot.

People would be breaking into his house, trying to kill him,

and he'd have to stab them.

Once in a while it might be his family who was trying to kill him.

But that was just really rare.

Usually it was someone else coming after him that he didn't know.

I asked... I thought he should try to talk to someone,

but without, you know, much money, that really wasn't gonna happen.

Kurt would get stomach aches a lot and say his stomach hurt.

You know, he'd be feeling fine and then he'd get out of the car

and just be, like, "I gotta throw up.”

I know he went to the doctor once or twice, but it didn't really work.

Most of the time, I sing right from my stomach.

Right where my stomach pain is.

Every time I've had an endoscope, they'd find a red irritation.

I would sing and cough up blood.

It's, like, this is no way to live a life.

I love to play music but something's not right.

So I decided to medicate myself.

How much of that pain would you say

actually fuels what you're writing and playing?

See, that's a scary question

because I think it probably helps, you know.

But I would give up everything to have good health.

But then again, I'm always afraid that if I lost the stomach problem,

I might not be as creative.

There's a journal entry where Kurt mentions doing heroin

for the first time in 1987 when he was living with you.

He totally had kept that from me cos I totally would've talked him out of it.

In fact, he used to make fun of some of the people in Seattle

that were using that and say it was really stupid.

Cos I've been told before that he was doing it when we were dating,

but I'm, like, he didn't do it around me, ever.

I never found anything, so...

I can't really say exactly why we broke up.

I just know that we were fighting more

and he was staying away from the house more.

I think he just pretty much didn't love me as much as he used to.

Or felt... he just felt like maybe he was moving ahead and I wasn't.

Kurt cobain"s here.

You know, Kurt cobain from aberdeen.

- What's going on, baby? - Not a damn thing.

You called up and said, "I wanna play some songs."

So I said, "rockin' good news!"

Bloody brilliant!

I just wrote most of the lyrics this evening.

- In the car, on the way up here? - While I was driving with one foot.

- Uh-huh? - Yeah, that's what I did.

I just thought I would just come here and say hi.

Well, let her rip.

Ok, is there any major-label interest in you at the present?

- Can you say? - Not at the moment.

Anybody not affiliated with CBS.

Would you consider changing?

We're considering it because we wanna get as much as we can.

Well, you're this interesting mix of,

as you say, you're one of the laziest people you know,

but you're also ambitious for a lazy person.

You think so?

How does it feel to be surrounded by so many people

telling you that you soon are doing very well?

I think it's embarrassing to have so many expectations.

A totally superficial label to put on a band,

to state that they're the next big thing.

Because, you know, that's not our goal in the first place.

People are putting that tag on us without us really wanting to do that.

You're not prepared for that?

Not prepared'? Nope. Because we're not going to be.

We're prepared to destroy our careers if it happens.

♪ I'm so happy

♪ cos today I've found my friends

♪ they're in my head

♪ I'm so ugly

♪ but that's ok, cos so are you

♪ we've broken our mirrors

♪ Sunday morning

♪ is every day for all I care

♪ and I'm not scared

♪ light my candles

♪ in a daze cos I've found god

♪ yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ yeah

♪ I'm so lonely

♪ but that's ok, I shaved my head

♪ and I'm not sad

♪ and just maybe

♪ I'm to blame for all I've heard

♪ but I'm not sure

♪ I'm so excited

I am Kurt. I play guitar and I sing.

And I am Dave. And I play drums.

And I sing sometimes but not that often.

I'm Chris and I play bass.

And I don't sing, thank god!

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

alright, nirvana's joined us in the studio tonight. New music hour.

We've got krist novoselic, we've got Kurt cobain and Dave grohl.

Their upcoming release nevermind comes out the 24th of this month,

and you guys'll be doing an in-store

at the beehive music and video in the university district.

So go out, meet the band. That's at seven to nine.

♪ I like it, I'm not gonna crack

♪ I miss you, I'm not gonna crack

♪ I love you, I'm not gonna crack

♪ I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

♪ I like it, I'm not gonna crack

♪ I miss you, I'm not gonna crack

♪ I love you, I'm not gonna crack

♪ I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

End of July or August, he's home.

And he comes downstairs and he's in his little whitey tighties.

No shirt. Barefoot.

No pants other than his undies and... Very Don cobain.

That's another thing I got sick of looking at.

And he's standing there with this tape in his hand. I go, "what's that?"

And he goes, "it's the master cut to my new album.”

“Can I put it on the stereo?"

And I go, "yeah! And turn it up! Up, up, up."

Because I listen to music really loud.

And I look at him and I go, "oh, my god!"

"Oh, my god!" And I almost start crying.

I mean, not from happiness. From fear. It was fear.

And I just went, "this is going to change everything."

And I said, "you better buckle up, cos you are not ready for this."

And for someone like yourself, when you're, sort of,

let's say your dreams come true,

all the worst aspects of them come true as well.

It's, like, be careful what you wish for. You're gonna get it.

Yeah.

How do you sort of deal with the pull-apart;

you know, being pulled apart by stuff like that?

I don't know if I expressed that the right way or not.

Well...

Er...

♪ Load up on guns

♪ bring your friends

♪ it's fun to lose

♪ and to pretend

♪ she's over-bored

♪ and self-assured

♪ oh no, I know a dirty word

♪ hello, hello

♪ hello, how low?

♪ Hello, hello

♪ hello, how low?

♪ Hello, hello

♪ with the lights out

♪ it's less dangerous

♪ here we are now

♪ entertain us

♪ I feel stupid

♪ and contagious

♪ here we are now

♪ entertain us

♪ a mulatto

♪ an albino

♪ a mosquito

♪ my libido

♪ a denial

Ok, and cut.

Alright, that's a wrap.

Hey, man, if this bird goes down, this is the safest place to be.

Right in the tail, where the bathroom is.

As soon as you walked on this plane

I took one gander at you and I saw nothing but trouble.

Ha! Bah!

See if you can try and do it.

Me and my sidekick tree frog Johnson here is gonna rip you a new butthole.

- Is this time our time? - What a sensitive man.

Cos it says it's, like, almost three in the morning.

Time flies when you're having fun.

♪ I don't care, I don't care, I don't care

♪ I don't care, care, care if it's old

♪ I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind

♪ I don't mind, mind, don't have a mind

♪ get away, get away, get away

♪ get away, away, away from your home

♪ I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid

♪ I'm afraid, afraid of a ghost

♪ even if you have

♪ even if you need

♪ I don't mean to stare

♪ we don't have to breed

♪ we could plant a house

♪ we could build a tree

♪ I don't even care

♪ we could have all three, she said

99 x.

That nirvana stuff you played last night?

If I wanted to request one of their songs now, could you play it?

You don't have any bootleg cds of nirvana?

Could you play some nirvana?

Right here, a world premiere video from nirvana.

Smells like teen spirit.

♪ Even if you have

♪ even if you need

♪ I don't mean to stare

♪ we don't have to breed

what do we say?

We're nirvana and this is the week in rock.

Hey, all you people staying up late on a Sunday night.

Slack off! You don't need your job.

Don't say, "yes, sir. Yes, ma'am.” say, "cram it!"

Don't show up tomorrow, call in sick, cos this is nirvana,

and you're watching... = 120 minutes.

- On... - Mttv.

♪ Even if you have

♪ even if you need

♪ I don't mean to stare

♪ we don't have to breed

♪ we could plant a house

♪ we could build a tree

♪ I don't even care

♪ we could have all three, she said

♪ she said

the hottest new rock band in the country right now may well be nirvana.

The hottest band at the moment.

The band it seems everybody's talking about.

People, like, really seem to be getting into nirvana right now.

Do you see when you go out and play shows

that the crowds are getting different?

- Isn't it pretty overwhelming? - Everybody wants to be hip.

- And so that's what it is, then? - Everyone wants to be accepted.

Yeah? Ok. Cool.

I've just heard that you've sold 600,000 albums in the United States.

Does that make it platinum, something like that?

It makes it gold.

It makes it a free gift to my mother for Christmas.

- Exactly! - Don't have to pay for a gift.

What's mom getting for Christmas? I guess she's getting a gold record.

Does that mean you guys are, like, rich now?

Hell, no! We're so far from having any money.

I mean, we get per diem, I guess.

Do you care what critics think?

I've never heard as many sort of glowing criticism...

- Oh, glowing! - Does that make you feel good?

Well, I mean, it's better than being slammed, that's for sure.

But, you know,

if I was reading the same thing about another band, I wouldn't believe it.

No way.

I'm not gonna believe some journalist

that's just spewing about some band that he thinks changed his life or...

You can't believe everything you read.

I mean, all you have to do is... Music is a personal experience.

You put the music on and whatever you get out of it,

you know, if it's good or bad.

If it's bad, you don't like it, you just walk away from it, you know.

And if it's good, it works for you...

- You know this lighter... - What the hell.

There are probably a lot of kids who hear your songs

and actually feel, like, kinship,

whether you're having trouble with parents or with school

or, you know, the usual dysfunctional stuff that happens.

But when you're up there,

do you have any sense of who you're playing to?

I'm playing to kids in general.

I mean, it doesn't matter where they come from.

We have the same problems

and we all basically have the same thoughts, you know?

♪ One baby to another says

♪ I'm lucky to have met you

♪ I don't care what you think

♪ unless it is about me

♪ it is now my duty to completely drain you

♪ I travel through a tube

♪ and end up in your infection

♪ chew your meat for you

♪ pass it back and forth

♪ in a passionate kiss

♪ from my mouth to yours

♪ I like you

you guys don't like explaining anything to do with your music.

What's the problem with going on camera and just...

There's nothing to be said. It's all in the music, man.

It's all in the music. It's all in the meat!

You don't think that people that are fans of you

would like to hear what you had in mind, maybe? Or what you were...

I'd rather hear what they have in mind, you know?

Like, how they interpret it.

In teen spirit, you seem to complain

about the apathy of our generation.

And do you share this lack of engagement yourself?

- What, being apathetic? - Yeah.

- Sure. - Why?

Why? Because we sleep too much.

- I mean, just say it. - Just read it.

Hello! Stay tuned for more...

Ew, nirvana on abc in concert!

- You want to do more? - One more?

Yeah, do one more.

♪ With eyes so dilated

♪ I've become your pupil

♪ you've taught me everything

probably the biggest band in the world right now, please welcome nirvanal

nirvana are real.

There's nothing pretentious about them or anything like that.

They're world famous, you know. Everyone wants to see nirvana.

Kurt cobain, he's so beautiful!

♪ Sloppy lips to lips

♪ you're my vitamins

♪ I like you

interviews are worthless! Let's go!

- What do you think about interviews? - What do I think?

Did you hear my reaction when he asked me if I wanted to do one?

- Yes. - I said, "'- - - - no."

I'm a hardcore nirvana fan myself.

Yeah? Is this a disease you've had long? Any cure for it?

He's talking from his experiences.

He's talking from his experience?

- Well, he's got lousy experience, sir. - It was not his goal

to make millions of dollars when he made the stuff. He's writing about his life.

Well, his life needs to see a therapist or a minister,

and it doesn't need to be on millions of cds

for kids to listen to and identify with

and have more of their despair and their hopelessness emphasised

by the tragedy of this man's life.

I guess each individual is gonna deal with it

the way they're gonna deal with it. I get, you know...

It was kind of traumatic to be famous all of a sudden,

especially coming from this complete obscurity

and just being the, like, number-one band in the world.

So I do things like withdraw, drink, you know.

I'm lucky. I had beer and wine, you know. Kurt had heroin.

Given how volatile and complicated

things were for Kurt around that time,

why do you think he chose that moment to start his relationship with Courtney?

I went... I had this relationship with this person, this woman.

And I just kind of wanted to build this home for myself,

cos my home, growing up, had fallen apart,

so I wanted to build a home.

And I think that Kurt wanted to do that, too.

He wanted to build a home because his home and his family fell apart.

So when Courtney came into his life, they had...

She was interesting, she was artistic, intellectual.

And, you know, she did drugs, too.

But that was all part of the package of building a home.

Check, check, check, check, check, check, check.

Let's watch their sound check, shall we?

Maybe it'll bug them and they'll play really bad.

So you're having a relationship with the guitar player? No?

It was a short love affair?

I don't know what it was. Honestly.

- It's over? - I think, yeah.

- What happened? - I don't care.

We're making a movie.

- Did you curl your hair? - You don't like it?

It's nicer when it's straight

because it doesn't make your face look so round.

Oh, my god!

Hello?

How is it on stage? Is it clear on stage?

♪ Now, if she ever comes down now

♪ if she ever comes down now

♪ if she ever comes now

♪ now, if she ever comes down now

♪ if she ever comes down now

♪ if she ever comes now

♪ aah, she looks so good

♪ aah, she's made out of wood

♪ she says, "oh"

He was super cute,

but he carried himself like someone who didn't know that.

And that was part of the charm.

He didn't know that he was a better-looking guy than Brad Pitt.

We got on like a house on fuckin' fire.

One caveat. I had already done heroin, beat the thing, had a rule,

I loved it still, but I didn't have a fantasy that he had.

He had a fantasy. His fantasy was,

“I'm gonna get to three million dollars, then I'm gonna be a junkie.”

That was his... those are his words.

♪ Come as you are

♪ as you were

♪ as I want you to be

♪ as a friend

♪ as an old enemy

♪ lake your time, hurry up

♪ ihe choice is yours

♪ don't be late

there he is, he's against the wall. Oh, my god!

He's totally trapped back there.

Is it fun to be famous?

People who are really famous

end up total recluses

and they don't do anything. That sucks.

♪ And I swear that I don't have a gun

♪ no, I don't have a gun

♪ Memoria

♪ And I swear that I don't have a gun

♪ no, I don't have a gun

The money, the attention, the hype.

Kurt cobain, an overnight spokesman

for many disaffected young people.

A spokesman for a generation.

To his generation, he's the closest they have to John Lennon.

The money, the attention, the hype, the hysteria.

It's not my fault. I never wanted the fame.

Seattle's own nirvana finds itself at the very top

of billboard's pop albums chart with its album nevermind,

while guitarist Kurt cobain just got engaged to Courtney love,

front woman of an la band called hole.

According to rolling stone,

cobain fell ill with a stomach problem during their tour of four continents

and had to cancel a number of dates in england.

There's been speculation of summer tour plans,

but so far only the next reading festival in August.

Nirvana is now retreating from doing interviews.

Whether it's a reaction to too much too soon,

the band would rather their music speak for itself

than be knighted as spokesmen for a generation.

Right after you guys got married,

they were the biggest band in the world, and Kurt decided to take six months off.

So, officially, in the story that's out in the world,

he took six months off of their touring schedule?

He could've toured the world and made a shitload of money.

Oh, I see.

It seemed he wanted to stay in an apartment with you and do heroin.

Yeah, he wanted to stay in an apartment and do heroin and paint.

And play his guitar. That's what he wanted to do.

Hi.

Hi.

This is our house. This is where we live.

I know it looks disgusting now, but sometimes it's nice.

I have to really clean it, cos no one else fucking does.

Ok, this is the toilet.

This is...

- This is me. - Courtney.

- Hello? - Do we have a Turkey baster?

What?

Why do you think that everyone thinks you're the good one and I'm the bad one?

Because I know how to use my illusion.

Where are you going?

I'm going into my living room! I paid for this.

Put on the dancing merry chimp!

So is this the living room that that guy described in rolling stone magazine?

Nothing but a twin reverb amp and Teddy bears to keep him company.

- Where's Eric? - The chimp.

Hi, honey.

- Hi. - I love you, love.

You are so cute. Here, Eric, you film for a while.

This is the Kurt cobain action figure.

Secret coded message in his guitar.

Kurt, I think he looks remarkably a lot like you. Look at that.

I've had that since I was a child.

And he's playing what looks to be a sort of mosrite-y, vintage...

Come into the breakfast nook!

Are you filming us? = uh-huh.

♪ She gives me everything

♪ and tenderly

♪ ihe kiss my lover brings

♪ she brings to me

♪ and I love her

♪ brignt are the stars that shine

♪ dark is the sky

♪ I know this love of mine

♪ will never die

♪ and I love her

♪ a jove like ours

♪ will never die

♪ as long as I hold you near me

Did you guys want to have a baby?

Oh, god, yes.

Yes, we wanted to have a baby. And I conceived Frances in December.

So I was pregnant when I got married, yes.

We were all we had,

so making a family as fast as possible was, you know, important. You know?

So, I mean, if I had had more time,

I'm telling you, I'd have had more kids with him.

Why do you feel so bad?

- Why? - Uh-huh.

Because I want to. It's my fault.

- All my fault. - You're beautiful.

- 1 think you're really cute. - Thank you.

So do a lot of sassy readers. I married Bobby sherman.

Do you think they do this to me?

What?

Do you think they do this to me when they read sassy?

Girls don't masturbate over their teen idols.

They don't?

No. They make up more intricate, schematic plans.

Girls are a lot more complex than boys.

You don't know what girls do to each other.

- Yes, I do. - No, you don't.

They're vicious.

It's, like, you can know about crafty girls all you want,

but I wouldn't let you go on tour with crafty girls

because fucking doesn't fucking matter, man.

They... they...

They diss me. They diss me all the time.

I'd be fat. I can't... I know, it's not even like I can't trust you.

It's just you can't trust men in general,

even, even if they're new men and they're you.

Even if they're like you, you still can't trust them.

I understand what you're trying to say, but I don't agree.

I'm a new man. I'm a man for the "90s. I'm ward cleaver.

And then, you being you, you'd be all sensitive,

and you'd go, "how are we gonna tell Courtney?"

Meanwhile, I've ruined my career, ruined my life,

become the most hated woman in America.

You were already the most hated woman in America.

What?

You and roseanne barr tied for being the most hated woman in America.

Ok, I married Bobby sherman,

I'm the most hated woman, ruined my body,

not played the reading festival this year when I could've kicked your ass.

You should still play the reading festival.

Oh, yeah. So I should just play the reading festival.

- Dive into the crowd. - Right, that's right.

Shoot off a gun, light yourself on fire.

Everyone wants to see this. And this is only half of it.

- The rest is yet to come. - Look. Moustache!

I kind of like that.

Free moustache rides!

It's a womb broom.

Keep it, please! El ¢

please, Kurt, you need... this is the...

♪ Outshined, outshined, outshined!

This is the look of aberdeen.

Come on, look at the camera!

I was in Vietnam, you weren't in Vietnam.

I was in vietham!

Look at my large breasts.

"Dearest sassy,

and whoever else is responsible for the Kurt cobain-Courtney pig story."

"Your story in April's sassy about Kurt cobain and that Courtney hag

truly made me want to vomit.”

“First of all, what could have been a beautiful interview experience

with Kurt cobain, the god of love in human form,

was totally ruined by nasty old dirty ms love running her big fat mouth."

"Who cares about her stupid victorian house

or her sucky band or how she was so obnoxious and pushy

that she scared poor Kurt into going out with her?"

"Secondly, you guys are supposed to be understanding and all that,

so what possessed you to be so insensitive to those of us

who would lick the ground Kurt cobain walked on?"

"You could have just mentioned the vile Courtney,

but oh no, you went so far as to show her kissing Kurt. Blech!"

"I will never forgive you. Never, never, never!"

"Sincerely disillusioned with life, Stacy, the Kurt slave."

And there's a little happy face on the bottom.

"Happy face. This is not currently me, thanks to you."

Why don't you interview us? "Kurt and Courtney: Sassy ii."

How does it feel to be fast?

Like, in the fast Lane?

At the height of their drug abuse...

Damn, if I wasn't so needle sick,

I'd be on tour with guns n' roses right now.

Me and axl would be whooping it up, snake dancing across speakers.

Snake dancing across the stage together singing nazareth songs.

But I'm too goddamn needle sick, man.

Are you fucked up, baby?

♪ You will see, you and me

♪ Kurt, please, be with me

♪ I want to be your girlfriend

♪ let me just be your girlfriend

♪ well, I put it in my ass and it kind of was painful

♪ well, I put it in my anus and that was heinous

♪ I put it in my anus and it kind of was heinous

♪ but I put it in my belly and it kind of was smelly

♪ and I want to be your girlfriend

♪ I want to be your girlfriend

♪ I want to ride your bratmobile, baby

♪ I want to know how you really feel, yeah

♪ I want to ride in your bratmobile

♪ I want to shoot up in your bratmobiie

♪ cos put it in my butt and we're having sex, but...

I did do heroin when I was pregnant, and then I stopped.

And I knew she would be fine.

Come on!

So, he was hever concerned that our child would have...

I assured him that I was built like an oxen

and could carry this pregnancy to term and not have any problems.

But, you know, I was a young woman.

The pregnancy isn't the problem.

It's the being around a junkie while I'm pregnant when I'm a junkie, too,

and I know the minute that baby's out,

I'm gonna go shoot up in celebratory fashion.

You know what I mean? Like, that was our lifestyle.

Ten wars ago,

the sea monkeys were present.

The sea monkeys were hatched and it begins,

and he said, "you little girl."

They found the little girl

stewing under his yellow cigarette-stained fingernails.

♪ And if you say your prayers

♪ you will make god happy

♪ and if you do what's true

♪ you will make me happy

♪ I'll keep you in a jar

♪ and you will seem happy

♪ I'll give you breathing noles

♪ you will think you're happy now

Does that get to you, to read things, like, you know,

you're dying of smack addiction or shit like that?

Yeah, it makes you feel like the kid in school

who gets picked on all the time.

Or it makes you feel like the school slut.

Party on, Wayne.

I feel like people want me to die

because it'd be the classic rock and roll story.

I would like to officially and publicly announce

that this is our last show.

There's been some pretty extreme things written about us,

especially my wife, and she thinks everybody hates her now.

So why don't you give her a message and say, "Courtney, we love you"?

Ok? Ready? On the count of three.

One, two, three...

Courtney, we love you!

Thanks.

♪ When I was an alien

♪ cultures weren't opinions

♪ gotta find a way, a better way, when I'm there

♪ gotta find a way, a better way, a better way

♪ gotta find a way, a better way, when I'm there

♪ gotta find a way, a better way, a better way

♪ Just because you're paranoid

♪ don't mean they're not after you

♪ gotta find a way, a better way, when I'm there

♪ Gotta find a way, a better way, a better way

Hi.

Hi. How you doing?

Are you getting suspicious

with this weird electronic device in your face?

Staring right at it. Wait, what do you see in there? Nothing.

Would you show your butt for the cam...? Oh, a little wet, ok. A little pee.

That is most definitely amphibian.

Don't look at me. Don't...

Frances, this is your real problem.

Everywhere daddy looks, you won't look.

- = hi, hi. - Look at dad.

This is the happiest baby I've ever seen. Don't you think?

No! No, she's got lots of things in store for her.

You want to be a star for a while and I'll film?

You want to be the star?

Fly. Want to fly?

Fly?

Nose.

Tastes good?

Want to barf in my mouth again? Three times is the charm.

- Are you getting all this? - Yes!

- Aren't we lucky? - I know.

Are you worried about the kind of mistakes

that might have been made when you were growing up

that sort of impacts on how you deal with her situation?

No. My father and I are completely different people.

I know that I'm capable of showing a lot more affection than my dad was.

I mean, even if Courtney and I were to get a divorce,

I would never allow us to be in a situation

where there are bad vibes between us in front of her.

If there's anything we're determined to do,

it's to give Frances as much love as we can.

I mean, if anything is going to stop me from pursuing this rock and roll thing,

it's going to be her

because I don't want her to be screwed up because of it.

I don't know what's going to happen in the next few years.

It's kind of scary.

- I dropped it. - Mommy's loud.

I'm loud. Oh, who's a big crybaby?

Oh, look at that. She's... she's kind of upset!

Ok, let's get her naked. That's what I want. I want you naked.

Nirvana, who the fuck do you think you are?

- Ew! - Seeing your interviews

makes me think you guys are the most immature pieces of trash ever made.

If you assholes could ever write anything

that could come close to anything guns n' roses has written,

maybe you could talk.

But until you sell a few billion more albums,

take your head out of your asses and smell the air.

It smells like guns n' roses.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Ok, enough of cute voices.

Leave me alone, I have to read this now.

Especially you! Don't look at me.

Don't look at me. Hey, yeah.

In an isolation tank

on 30 hits of demerol,

as new age music

poisons the scarce, humid air.

Tonight from Hollywood, we bring you a most unusual broadcast,

starring a famous radio couple

who have never before appeared in a story of this kind.

This is Kurt cobain.

I have a lot of things to say to you.

A lot of fucking things to say to you.

You parasitic little fucking cunt.

You're not writing about my band.

You're writing about how jealous you are of my wife.

You have absolutely no fucking idea what you're doing.

You will find out.

I don't care if this is a recorded threat. I'm at the end of my rope.

I've never been more fucking serious in my life.

Everything we do to develop personal courage, confidence,

and belief in our own abilities.

Make your determination so strong

that it will eliminate any situation or circumstance

which stands in the way of your goal.

Check, check, check, check, check.

This looks just like the metallica video.

This is part of your rockumentary.

I think this album is a...

It really expresses the way we feel inside.

You can't just do what you do on stage.

You can't. You're making an album.

Frances! Frances, Frances, Frances!

Ah!

Ok, ok.

I have to... they're calling me. I have to work now. Take care, baby.

Well, rock on! Daddy's got to go rock!

♪ Teenage angst has paid off well

♪ now I'm bored and old

♪ self-appointed judges judge

♪ more than they have sold

♪ if she floats then she is not

♪ a witch like we had thought

♪ a down payment on another

♪ one at Salem's lot

you said before, let's make a record to lose most of your audience.

I was in the beginning, about a year and a half ago.

I was completely fed up with the whole thing.

I didn't want to be a rock star at all.

It was just... It was freaking me out, you know?

But I've had two years to recuperate.

♪ I hat legendary divorce is such a bore

♪ as my bones grew they did hurt

♪ iney hurt really bad

♪ I tried hard to have a father

♪ but instead I had a dad

♪ I just want you to know that I

♪ don't hate you any more

♪ here is nothing I could say

♪ that I haven't thought before

♪ serve the servants, oh no

♪ serve the servants

♪ I hat legendary divorce is such a bore

Nirvana's third album, in utero,

a record with a decidedly hard-edged sound,

courtesy of Maverick producer, Steve albini,

will make its debut at number one on Monday's new billboard pop chart.

Nirvana will be starting a us tour at the Arizona state fair.

♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ happy birthday, dear Frances

♪ happy birthaay to you

you're one! You're one! One year old!

- Ok, what's this? - We got something to do.

This is great! Alright!

Kurt! You can't leave! Come back!

Would you like some cake?

I'm not opening this till you come back.

Kurt? = I'm bored.

Kurt? It's Frances's first haircut.

Alright, I'm going to take the chair out. Put her on the throne.

Let me do that.

Should I do it right here?

Kurt? Sit her on the throne. Where's the scissors? You got 'em?

- Somebody's gotta hold her. - I can do it.

No, I'm doing the haircut. Yes, I am!

You aren't very still with her.

Yes, I am. I'm doing the haircut.

I don't really talk, just...

Jesus Christ.

- Ok. - You are such a good baby.

Shall I go down and get a bowl?

Will you try and find the classical station on there?

This is your cartier comb.

That's right.

You haven't been eating a lot. You don't feel like a bloated child.

Yeah, you gotta force her to eat lately.

She's been sick.

Well, you really have to force her to eat.

She's not... she's not motivated.

We don't have any milk in the house either.

I'm tired of telling everyone.

It's, like, a big deal.

I'm so tired. Can't keep my eyes open.

Stop it!

Kurt, you don't want our daughter to see you behaving like this, on drugs.

- I'm not on drugs! I'm tired! - Do you have more teeth?

See? See'? Wife beating.

Here we go.

Oh, my pretty girly locks!

You look so gorgeous. You won't be able to believe it.

You won't be able to believe it.

♪ Amazing grace!

♪ How sweef the sound

♪ that saved a wretch like me

♪ I once was lost

♪ but now am found

♪ was blind

♪ but now I see

It just... every week, it got worse.

And sometimes he would come home, I think, to hide.

He started getting sores and he was losing weight and nodding out and...

I was pretty sure he knew I knew,

but I decided one time to just confront him.

And so I went up to his bedroom,

and he was sitting on the side of the bed.

And he was crying because I had just arrived,

and he knew it was breaking my heart.

But l... and I talked to him about it

and everything that I had learned about heroin.

And I asked him if he was at the stage

where he was addicted to also the needle prick.

And he burst into tears.

And he... he was just ashamed.

One of the songs that actually, I really liked on in utero,

but which you took off, was I hate myself and want to die.

How literal is that song in terms of the title?

As literal as a joke can be, I mean...

Nothing more than a joke.

What kind of... who were you playing the joke on?

Cos I have to admit, my first reaction was, you know,

either this is really intensely satirical

or there's some really dark shit happening here.

I'm really thankful for a lot of things.

My family, my child,

and every month, I come to more optimistic conclusions.

Do you find that you're getting happier in general?

I hope I don't become so blissful that I lose...

Become boring?

Yeah, become boring, or I lose my edge, or whatever it is, you know?

And who knows? I don't have any new songs right now,

so I'm starting from scratch for the first time.

Iabula rasa. Ought to be interesting.

Yeah.

Is there a little fear of the unknown?

Yeah. Definitely.

Check, check, check, check, check, check.

Turn both guitars down now. They're too loud.

Scott, you know that goofy ass stuff

that they have at music stores called finger ease?

It's like an anal gel.

If I could just put some on this string.

Yeah, it's called finger ease. Yeah, it's like a roll-on.

So I just need it on one string. God, I'm being picky today.

Amy!

Will you guys, like...

Will you and Janet and everybody that I know sit in the front

so I can look at you?

Cos I hate strangers.

One, two, three.

Thank you.

Any requests?

- Teen spirit. - Sliver.

Drain you.

Serve the servants.

Remember the little black bird on Davey and goliath?

The little what?

Black bird on Davey and goliath singing Kumbaya.

No, I don't remember the little bird.

Remember that really evil episode where he was really mad at this kid

and he had all these visions of how he was going to...

"First, I'm going to take him up to a hill

and tie him to a tree and tar and feather him!"

It was evil. That wasn't Christian at all!

♪ What else should I be?

♪ All apologies

♪ what else should I say?

♪ Everyone is gay

♪ what else should I write?

♪ I don't have the right

♪ what else should I be?

♪ All apologies

♪ in the sun

♪ in the sun I feel as one

♪ in the sun

♪ buried

♪ Buried

♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ All in all is all we are

- What do you want? - 1 don't know.

Do you want to go play someplace?

- Yeah. - What do you want to do?

I'm gonna play tape recorders.

- Frances? - Christmas day, 1993.

Frances bean cobain.

I'm thirsty.

Yabba dabba doo!

This is nice!

Johnny rotten, Leonard Cohen, led zeppelin and the Beatles.

That's you.

Did you say Bob Dylan?

You don't tell stories the way he does, but... I mean...

You mean, like this?

Every... now and then...

Things I know about.

I feel kind of happy right now.

Yeah, I do, too.

We're all sensitive to ridicule and shame.

But it seemed to me, having gone through his materials,

that he was hyper-sensitive,

felt criticism, felt praise,

felt things a little more intensely.

Probably. You know, he was so sensitive

that one time that I thought about cheating on him, he fucking must...

He must have been psychic or something.

I thought about it. I didn't do it, but I thought about it.

You never cheated on Kurt?

No, but I almost did one time, and he knew it.

And I don't know how he knew it.

I have no idea how he knew it.

I didn't... the plan didn't ever go anywhere.

So, it was just... nothing happened,

but I was tired and I am... I'm not...

I wasn't as monogamous as he is.

I'm a big flirt. So, I flirt with chairs.

But I never, never cheated on him.

But I certainly thought about it one time in London.

And I could've done it.

And the response to it was he took 67 rohypnols

and ended up in a coma because I thought about cheating on him.

I mean, fuck! You're kidding.

I didn't even make the phone call to do it.

So why do you think he chose that night to try to take his life?

Was it because he felt rejected?

I think he would see it more as like severe betrayal than rejection,

you know what I mean?

♪ My girl, my girl

♪ don't lie to me

♪ iell me where did you sleep last night?

♪ In the pines, in the pines

♪ where the sun don't ever shine

♪ I would shiver the whole night through

♪ my girl, my girl

♪ where will you go?

♪ I'm going where the cold wind biows

♪ in the pines, in the pines

♪ where the sun don't ever shine

♪ I would shiver the whole night through

♪ her husband was a hara-working man

♪ just about a mile from here

♪ his head was found in a driving wheel

♪ but his body never was found

♪ don't lie to me

♪ iell me where did you sleep last night?

♪ In the pines, in the pines

♪ where the sun don't ever shine

♪ I would shiver the whole night through

♪ my girl, my girl

♪ where will you go?

♪ I'm going where the cold wind biows

♪ in the pines, in the pines

♪ where the sun don't shine

♪ 1'd shiver

♪ I'he whole

♪ night through

Thank you.

♪ Ain't it a shame to go fishing on a Sunday

♪ ain't it a shame?

♪ Ain't it a shame to go fishing on a Sunday

♪ ain't it a shame?

♪ Ain't it a shame to go fishing on a Sunday

♪ when you got monaay, Tuesday, Wednesday

♪ oh, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

♪ ain't it a shame?

♪ Ain't it a shame to have a drink on a Sunday

♪ ain't it a shame?

♪ Ain't it a shame to have a drink on a Sunday

♪ ain't it a shame?

♪ Ain't it a shame to have a drink on Sunday

♪ when you got monaay, Tuesday, Wednesday

♪ oh, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

♪ ain't it a shame?

♪ Ain't it a shame?

♪ Shame, shame, shame!

♪ Load up on guns

♪ bring your friends

♪ it's fun to lose and to pretend

♪ she's over-bored and self-assured

♪ oh no, I know a dirty word

♪ hello, hello, hello, how low?

♪ Hello, hello, hello

♪ with the lights out

♪ it's less dangerous

♪ here we are now

♪ entertain us

♪ I feel stupid

♪ and contagious

♪ here we are now

♪ entertain us

♪ a mulatto

♪ an albino

♪ a mosquito

♪ my libido, yeah!

♪ Hey

♪ hey

♪ With the lights out

♪ it's less dangerous

♪ here we are now

♪ entertain us

♪ I feel stupid

♪ and contagious

♪ here we are now

♪ entertain us

♪ a mulatto

♪ an albino

♪ a mosquito

♪ my libido

♪ a denial

♪ a denial

♪ a denial