Original subtitles

Cool.

Thank you.

That's a good one.

There you go.

There you go.

Oh, yeah, go deep. Go real deep.

Both of them.

Take this part out.

Oh, there's no way that's going to fit in there.

That's what I thought.

What?

My God.

It's like rewinding a birthing video.

Yeah. Watch this.

Okay, okay. That does not look hygienic.

Now that, that's the kind of girl you bring home to your mom.

Yeah, sure.

If your mom's Ron Jeremy.

Say, Joe.

Is there a girl coming over? Or is this going to turn out being another one of

those nights that we promised we'd never tell anybody about?

Don't worry, buddy.

There's the freakiest, nastiest girl I know. She's on her way over here right

now. And she intends on making you into a man.

Oh, great. So it's not only my bachelor party, it's also my bar mitzvah.

I didn't know you were Jewish.

Another virgin piña colada.

Oh, I do.

But it better be stronger than that last virgin daiquiri.

Delicious. And look, the straw just shaped like a little... Oh, let me

Penises.

Yeah, that's funny, right?

Why does everything at a bachelorette party have to be penis tapes?

I don't know. It's festive.

Have you ever really looked at those things?

They look like sea monsters.

And just because we're at a bachelorette party, everything has to be penis

-shaped and we're all penis -crazed and everything.

I don't know. I guess I never really thought about it.

Well, I, for one, prefer the female form.

It's just much more beautiful.

Look at Rochelle here.

I just can't keep my hands over her.

That must be him.

Wait, did I remember to change the toilet paper roll?

Relax, Monica. It's time to party.

Hey, Freebie, where'd you find this guy at, anyways?

Just knocked on his door.

Uh -huh. Huh?

Yeah, it's that guy from the building over there, you know?

The one who's always naked?

What? The super naked guy?

His name is Solomon.

He's nice.

He said he'd do it for free.

If you could keep the videotape for as real before you open the door, can we

please get this?

Hello, lady.

Let me introduce you to my personal assistant,

Shamu. Is there... Somebody else coming?

No, that's what I call my penis.

Why Shamu?

Because the spectators in the first five rows always end up getting wet.

I hope you're ready for that.

Got any other names for any of your other body parts?

My balls.

I call them sweet and nice.

And now you know how low God is, don't you?

Yeah, I was wondering about that. Is that a birth defect, or was there an

accident, or what?

I was cut in a tornado when I was really young.

I haven't been the same ever since.

Girls are in luck.

Do you recognize this song?

I think it's Huey Lewis and the News, right?

That's a good guess, but it's wrong. It's an African song of seduction.

Nabutu tribesmen of the Cameroon played outside the hut of newlyweds.

It may be the sexiest song of...

Ooh, is that wine?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Why don't you take the flan to go?

Oh, please, we have this.

Come on.

Yeah, you can even keep the plate. Yep. Yeah.

Yeah, you just go ahead. Thank you.

And it was very nice meeting you and Shamu. And yeah, you have a

great day.

We'll see you later.

You know what?

I don't care if Monica thinks you're a loser.

You're still my best man.

Man. Dude, you need to slow down.

She's gonna be here any minute.

You get it together.

Shut up.

You know me.

Oh, Joe.

Yeah? Is this, uh, angry Sandler or happy Sandler?

This is vomiting, Sandler. Bathroom, now, now.

Sorry, buddy.

I know this is your night, but I can't let a stripper go unbanged in good

conscience.

Hey, Ross's mom.

Hello.

Hey, Ross's mom, you're looking hot.

Oh, let's not make this weird. Call me Judy.

Okay.

I like that. I like that. Yeah.

Bite on them a little bit. Yeah.

Mmm.

I don't know if you're able to see it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh my god.

You turn that way.

Put your fingers in.

Yes, put your fingers in.

Make them wet with your mouth.

Yes, let him back in.

No.

I think this car could be right inside of me now.

Mmm Mmm

Oh, yeah.

You like your bath bomb.

Oh, goodness.

What the...

He's gonna be standing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My back's all the way down to the mat.

All right.

Make it wet with your mat.

Get wet with your mat.

Right there.

Like that.

Fuck you.

the fun was great but that's the bedroom now it's time for the finale yeah

let's get this party started

Monica. It's your party. My party. Yeah.

Ha!

Yeah.

Mmm.

Hey, where were you last night? You missed a party.

You could have banged Ross's mom. I mean, he missed you, man.

Well, I was busy rekindling with Carol.

Oh, that's great.

Did she decide the whole lesbian thing really isn't for her?

Oh, no. She's still into girls, but she's someone she's desperate. She's

to use me for sex.

That's so beautiful. Like a crab.

Hey, baby.

How was your party?

Maybe ask somebody who was conscious for the whole thing.

How was yours?

Oh, you know, we just sat around, sipping drinks, talking girly stuff. I

what do you think? We had a greased -up firefighter dancing around the living

room with us?

Hey, I'm just asking. I'm just asking.

I don't know, but I had the weirdest dream with your mom last night.

Really?

That is weird. What happened?

You don't want to know.

I'm just glad all this is over with. We're getting married next week.

How exciting is that?

I can barely contain myself.

Hey.

What's that?

No!