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All language subtitles for Cd-2-NS Cheers A XXXParody 2009

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:16,260 I heard you got rid of your testosterone -filled cologne. 2 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,600 Indeed I did. 3 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,140 Does that turn you on? 4 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,140 Sam, you'd have to get rid of a lot more than that to turn me on, you shallow 5 00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:25,460 jerk. Shallow? Me? 6 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:26,920 Me? 7 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,280 Shallow? 8 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,340 Yes, uh, you. 9 00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:32,060 Shallow. 10 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:33,840 Very good. 11 00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:35,220 Big caveman. 12 00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:36,580 Very funny, baby. 13 00:05:36,780 --> 00:05:39,280 Look, what does it take for a guy to get through to you? 14 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,900 Have to buy some salt and a good powder. It'll just get through that icy top of 15 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:43,439 the land. 16 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,440 Carla. 17 00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:47,100 Why does that thing bat think I'm shallow? 18 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,300 Hey, Sam. 19 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:50,820 You left your mirror in breakfast. 20 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,100 Thank you, Woody. 21 00:05:58,720 --> 00:05:59,980 Wow, maybe she's right. 22 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:05,220 Maybe to show her how bad I really want her, I'm going to have to sacrifice 23 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,380 something. Something that I really love. 24 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,240 About... Start with my Bartash. 25 00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:10,700 Everyone knows how much I love those. 26 00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:15,900 I was thinking more along the lines of hair care products. 27 00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:19,220 Carla! 28 00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:23,980 I'm going to give those to you. 29 00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:28,080 Sam! I don't know what to say. 30 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:29,720 These are your hair products. 31 00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:31,020 They're a big part of you. 32 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,920 It's like having a big, thick, plastic piece of you. 33 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,220 I'm going to go put these on my nightstand. 34 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,040 Thanks, Sam. 35 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000 Don't mention it. 36 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,279 Hey, 37 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:58,660 can 38 00:06:58,660 --> 00:06:59,660 I get a beer there, Sammy? 39 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,800 Coming up. 40 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:12,630 Probably not fluently. 41 00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:15,430 You think I'm so stuck on myself. 42 00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:18,250 I just gave away all my hair care products. 43 00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,970 Well, that is wonderful. 44 00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:23,610 Well, I'm a wonderful guy. 45 00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,110 And not shallow. 46 00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:27,830 I think you're missing a point, Sam. 47 00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:29,990 I think you're missing my point, Diane. 48 00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:33,750 You gave away your hair care products. 49 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:36,150 So what's the big deal? 50 00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:37,530 The big deal? 51 00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:41,960 The big deal is this baby goes south at midnight faster than Hall & Oates sex 52 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:42,960 appeal. 53 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,360 That's the big deal. 54 00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:46,400 It's not enough, Sam. 55 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:52,180 I'm like a fine, beautiful Rousseau painting, and you're more like a Captain 56 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,500 Caveman coloring book. 57 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,500 There's just no chemistry. 58 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,040 And besides, you have a gaggle of floozies at your beck and call. 59 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,040 And in my book, that's a faux pas. 60 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,160 And Sam, I've read many books. 61 00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:07,940 Many. 62 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,200 Mr. Peterson, is there anything else I can get you? 63 00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:19,880 You got a muzzle for Mrs. Peterson? 64 00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,060 No muzzle, anything else? 65 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,380 A muzzle for beer, huh? 66 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,600 How about another beer, Woody? 67 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,220 And while you're at it, could you call Mrs. Peterson and tell her to stop 68 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:31,220 barking at the neighbors? 69 00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:32,420 Sure thing. 70 00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,220 Woody? 71 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:40,780 I want to give you this. 72 00:08:46,690 --> 00:08:50,370 Okay Sam, this is your little black book. 73 00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:52,550 Really? Really. 74 00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:55,790 I don't need it anymore. 75 00:08:56,550 --> 00:08:59,130 From now on, I'm a one -woman man. 76 00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:02,610 Thank you. This is great. 77 00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:06,790 Cool. I noticed. 78 00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:11,550 But this is perfect timing because my mother and father are coming in from 79 00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:17,070 Indiana and I wanted to take... You know, a date out on a big night out, 80 00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:20,170 Showing that little country boy he's become a big city man. 81 00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:22,430 Yeah, where are you taking him, Woody? 82 00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,150 Well, Chuck E. Cheese. 83 00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:25,770 It's half -priced pizza now. 84 00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:27,930 Chuck E. Cheese. 85 00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,530 There's a note here. 86 00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:35,810 It says, ready, willing, and double jointed. 87 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,630 Exactly what does that mean? 88 00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,350 It means she loves half -priced pizza, Woody. 89 00:09:51,470 --> 00:09:52,470 Hello, Melody? 90 00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,610 Hey, this is Woody. It's Sam's friend. 91 00:09:56,170 --> 00:09:57,190 Oh, yeah, he's fine. 92 00:09:58,770 --> 00:10:02,930 Oh, I don't know. I'd have to ask him. Hey, Sam, do you still do that thing 93 00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:04,550 your tongue where you flick it super fast? 94 00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,350 No. 95 00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:08,610 He says no. 96 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,290 So I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me later. 97 00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:14,970 Well, that is fantastic news. I'll see you at Cheers. 98 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,350 Uh -huh. 99 00:10:17,890 --> 00:10:19,130 Oh, as long as they... 100 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,040 All right, black. 101 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:28,180 Carla, hell, is that you? 102 00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:32,660 I guess you're not as dumb as your nickname, stupid, led me to believe. 103 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,840 Oh, thanks for that, Carla. 104 00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:36,740 What can I get for you? 105 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,380 Your number. 106 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,740 I'm not into vaginas unless they look like penises. 107 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:54,960 But I can learn. 108 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:02,600 Wow, 109 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,600 these new hair products really work. 110 00:11:05,340 --> 00:11:07,180 I want you and your hair. 111 00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:11,080 You sound like my ex -husband just before he left me. 112 00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:12,740 Terrible. 113 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,660 Nah, he was a pig, but it turned me on. 114 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,340 Hey, Nomi, I found some nuts we can share. 115 00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:53,450 I've been waiting for this day. 116 00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:29,570 There's a lot more I can do with this now. 117 00:13:02,030 --> 00:13:03,090 I don't know what I'm doing. 118 00:31:22,350 --> 00:31:23,350 Go back to men now. 119 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,400 You basically told me that you wouldn't sleep with me because I'm infatuated 120 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:57,580 with my car. I smell. 121 00:31:58,160 --> 00:31:59,160 I'm shallow. 122 00:31:59,380 --> 00:32:00,560 I'm with too many women. 123 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,760 I give up all of that, and you still won't sleep with me. 124 00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:09,980 Why, you ignoramus. I won't sleep with you because I hate you. You hate me? I 125 00:32:09,980 --> 00:32:10,980 hate you. 126 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,220 You got your head so far up your ass, you're becoming a brunette. 127 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,600 Do you know what the difference is between you and a complete moron? No. 128 00:32:19,060 --> 00:32:20,200 Ten letters. 129 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,440 angry. Oh, I hate you so much! 130 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:30,260 You hate me so much? You are the most inept, inane, superficial... Will you 131 00:32:30,260 --> 00:32:31,320 speak English? 132 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:36,680 I hate you with every bone in my body. You make my skin crawl. 133 00:32:36,980 --> 00:32:37,980 You thicken me. 134 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,560 Are you as turned on as I am? More. 135 00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:34,900 I'll take it just like that. 136 00:53:44,270 --> 00:53:45,109 Oh, shit. 137 00:53:45,110 --> 00:53:50,690 Oh, yeah. 138 00:53:53,150 --> 00:53:54,150 Oh, 139 00:53:55,550 --> 00:54:00,310 that's fucking good. Oh, 140 00:54:00,310 --> 00:54:04,710 shit. Oh, 141 00:54:05,910 --> 00:54:06,990 shit. 142 00:54:13,290 --> 00:54:16,330 Yes, yes, yes, yes. Fuck. 143 00:57:40,020 --> 00:57:42,820 Oh, shit. 144 00:57:43,260 --> 00:57:49,300 Oh, shit. 145 00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:07,120 It's so fucking good. 146 00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:08,520 Holy shit. 147 00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:04,198 Oh, God damn. 148 00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:05,460 Oh, yeah, I'm close. 149 00:59:06,020 --> 00:59:07,020 I'm fucking close. 150 01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:06,620 So the tube goes up your ass and the germ will actually run through the tube 151 01:00:06,620 --> 01:00:07,620 into your ass. 152 01:00:10,900 --> 01:00:11,900 Closing time, you guys. 153 01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:15,840 Closing time. 154 01:00:20,380 --> 01:00:21,440 Y 'all have a good night. 155 01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:25,640 Never seen them in here before. 156 01:00:26,620 --> 01:00:27,620 She's got a nice ass. 157 01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:29,080 Boyfriend looked a little gay, though. 158 01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:30,680 Yeah, 159 01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,560 it'd been about three o 'clock. I'd have been all over that. 160 01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:36,880 Good night, 161 01:00:39,820 --> 01:00:41,020 Woody. Good night, Beth. 162 01:00:42,100 --> 01:00:43,780 You too, Bonnie and Wade. 163 01:00:46,260 --> 01:00:47,340 Get out of here! 164 01:00:48,820 --> 01:00:54,500 Looks like it's about that time, Cliff. 165 01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:55,840 It wasn't time? 166 01:00:56,020 --> 01:00:58,880 Nope. Time for Vera to speed him before she hibernates for the winter. 167 01:00:59,580 --> 01:01:00,660 Night, Mr. Peterson. 168 01:01:01,100 --> 01:01:02,100 Night, Woody. 169 01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:06,320 Night, Mr. You gonna take that cup with you? 170 01:01:07,460 --> 01:01:08,780 Too much. We do. 171 01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:10,840 Good night. 172 01:01:18,820 --> 01:01:21,700 So, uh, you still think I'm a gorilla? 173 01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:23,840 Yes, but a sexy one. 174 01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:25,760 I guess I can live with that. 175 01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:27,120 Good night, Woody. 176 01:01:27,260 --> 01:01:28,260 Good night, Shaw. 177 01:01:28,620 --> 01:01:29,620 Good night. 178 01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:32,600 Remember, condoms and seatbelts to be safe. 179 01:01:53,799 --> 01:01:55,020 You must be Melanie. 180 01:01:55,980 --> 01:01:59,220 Actually, Melanie couldn't make it. She asked me if I'd like to come meet you. 181 01:01:59,780 --> 01:02:00,780 What did you say? 182 01:02:03,780 --> 01:02:05,600 here, so I said yes. 183 01:02:05,820 --> 01:02:06,880 Well, that's fantastic. 184 01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:08,540 It's nice to meet you. 185 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,820 We have dinner reservations at 10. 186 01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:12,040 Do you like whack -a -mole? 187 01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:16,720 No. 188 01:02:17,020 --> 01:02:21,420 I was thinking I'd like to play whack -a -woody. 189 01:02:23,180 --> 01:02:24,800 Well, what about skee -ball? 190 01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:32,320 How about we stay here and get to know each other a little more intimately? 191 01:02:34,390 --> 01:02:36,590 Okay. I'll go first. 192 01:02:37,490 --> 01:02:39,150 Okay. I'm from Indiana. 193 01:02:39,390 --> 01:02:43,810 I live on a big farm. I have a hilarious cow named Giggles. 194 01:02:44,650 --> 01:02:46,950 It's the first stand -up comic in Indiana. 195 01:02:49,610 --> 01:02:51,190 That's not what I meant. 196 01:02:53,110 --> 01:02:54,870 Oh? No. 197 01:02:55,530 --> 01:02:58,010 I'll explain it to you a little more slowly. 198 01:02:58,870 --> 01:03:00,910 Do you like these? 199 01:03:01,790 --> 01:03:02,810 They're pretty good. 200 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:08,680 You get to know them a little more intimately. 201 01:03:08,980 --> 01:03:10,140 Are you serious? 202 01:03:15,060 --> 01:03:15,660 We're 203 01:03:15,660 --> 01:03:23,140 really 204 01:03:23,140 --> 01:03:24,140 doing this? 205 01:04:19,970 --> 01:04:25,050 That's what you meant. 206 01:04:49,390 --> 01:04:50,390 Thank you. 207 01:06:41,020 --> 01:06:42,760 Oh, come on, baby. 208 01:06:45,100 --> 01:06:46,140 Thank you. Thank you. 209 01:08:03,850 --> 01:08:04,850 That's it. 210 01:08:58,189 --> 01:09:01,109 God damn it. Actually... 211 01:10:29,480 --> 01:10:30,960 Listen to me. 212 01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:32,580 I'm pointing at you. 213 01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:08,780 Oh, there we go. 214 01:11:09,180 --> 01:11:10,180 Oh, yeah. 215 01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:12,880 Oh, yeah. You like my titties? Yeah. 216 01:11:13,260 --> 01:11:16,540 Yeah. Oh, that's it. Oh, fuck yeah. That's it. Fucking fuck. 217 01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:17,699 That's it. 218 01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:18,700 Oh, 219 01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:20,200 yeah. 220 01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:22,400 You look so good. 221 01:11:22,420 --> 01:11:24,220 You know what I like when it comes out. 222 01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:27,719 Mm -hmm. 223 01:11:27,720 --> 01:11:28,720 Oh, come on. 224 01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:30,940 Oh, fuck that little fucking pussy. 225 01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:33,080 Yeah, that's it. Right there. 226 01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:34,259 Mm -hmm. 227 01:11:34,260 --> 01:11:35,720 Yeah, come on, baby. Come on. You're good. 228 01:11:36,100 --> 01:11:37,100 Yeah. 229 01:12:16,910 --> 01:12:18,930 Fucking pussy, stick it back in there so you can take it out. 230 01:12:19,310 --> 01:12:20,310 Take it out. 231 01:12:20,430 --> 01:12:21,710 Oh, fuck you. 232 01:12:22,210 --> 01:12:25,430 Oh my God, that shit looks so good, baby. 233 01:12:26,050 --> 01:12:27,050 Oh my God. 234 01:12:27,150 --> 01:12:30,970 Oh my God, that cute little fucking pussy waiting for your fucking big cock. 235 01:12:31,270 --> 01:12:32,270 Can you see that? 236 01:12:32,570 --> 01:12:34,970 Oh, you see that whole? Okay, come on, come fucking. 237 01:12:35,370 --> 01:12:38,490 Come on, let's play a little fucking game. Hide the fucking salami bitch. 238 01:12:38,490 --> 01:12:41,170 on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there. 239 01:13:00,460 --> 01:13:01,460 I'm glad you're making that pussy. 240 01:13:01,720 --> 01:13:04,920 Yeah, I saw that blood rushing down there because it's so fucking hot for 241 01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:05,920 blood. Pussy? Yeah. 242 01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:09,320 Oh, yeah, that's better. 243 01:13:41,770 --> 01:13:44,510 This poor pussy just wants your cock. This poor pussy. 244 01:13:44,750 --> 01:13:51,190 Yeah. This shit makes you rich. Yeah, nice and rich with your big fucking 245 01:15:22,380 --> 01:15:23,720 He fucked that little pussy. 246 01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:24,960 Yeah. 247 01:17:44,080 --> 01:17:45,080 Oh, baby. 248 01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:48,240 You like that? 249 01:17:48,560 --> 01:17:51,340 You like that? Turn around. Come on. 250 01:17:54,640 --> 01:17:55,860 Come on. 251 01:17:56,420 --> 01:17:57,420 Stick it in there. 252 01:19:49,640 --> 01:19:50,640 Titties. 253 01:20:37,100 --> 01:20:39,900 I don't 254 01:20:39,900 --> 01:20:44,624 know. 255 01:21:02,830 --> 01:21:03,830 fucking load. 256 01:21:40,430 --> 01:21:41,430 Oh my God. 257 01:22:42,690 --> 01:22:44,230 Geez, that was great. 258 01:22:45,770 --> 01:22:48,510 Yeah, you farm boys really know how to roll around in the hay. 259 01:22:50,190 --> 01:22:51,129 You know? 260 01:22:51,130 --> 01:22:52,630 I don't think I caught your name. 261 01:22:56,530 --> 01:22:57,710 I'm Rebecca Howe. 262 01:22:58,730 --> 01:23:00,530 Who did I talk to about buying this place? 16772