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All language subtitles for Cd-1-NS Friends A XXXParody 2009

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,870 --> 00:00:17,450 Someone told me we're friends like these, not like at Nate. 2 00:00:18,490 --> 00:00:22,070 You hang them, bang off them, these friends go away. 3 00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:26,110 It's friends, a triple X parody. 4 00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:29,630 Everybody gets laid. 5 00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,070 Everybody gets laid. 6 00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:37,650 These friends love to screw. 7 00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:42,450 These friends finally score. 8 00:00:58,999 --> 00:01:03,700 And then what happened? Well, I came home from work early, and I heard some 9 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:08,960 strange noises in the bedroom. So I investigated, and I caught Carol 10 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:09,960 me. Whoa! 11 00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:11,580 That's horrible. 12 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,060 I'm sorry, buddy. 13 00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:16,860 Was he, uh... Was he bigger than you? 14 00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:19,540 Joe! How can you ask that question? 15 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,420 Of course it's bigger than Ross. 16 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,359 Oh, yeah. 17 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,440 No, that's the thing. It wasn't a man. 18 00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:27,660 It was a woman. 19 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:31,780 Jackpot? It's not a jackpot. This is the worst day of my life. 20 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,160 Are you kidding? 21 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,720 She swings both ways? 22 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,440 You gotta have more threesomes than... You know, that guy that has a lot of 23 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,020 threesomes. No, she said she didn't want to have sex with men anymore. 24 00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,310 I'll never get her back. 25 00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:46,610 That's not true. 26 00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:50,010 You just have to remind her why she fell in love with you in the first place. 27 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,610 No. 28 00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:52,830 Why would that? 29 00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:55,030 Come on, you're just giving false hope. 30 00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:56,510 So? 31 00:01:57,430 --> 00:02:00,930 No offense, but you're not even a straight woman's couple to me. 32 00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:02,730 But a lesbian's? 33 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:04,810 You're screwed, buddy. 34 00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:11,090 Hey, so you guys excited? 35 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,240 About the wedding. 36 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,820 Sandler and I are getting married next week. 37 00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:22,220 Oh, the wedding. 38 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:25,600 Oh, come on, guys. Did you guys really forget our wedding? 39 00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:28,440 I think it's more like we blocked it out. 40 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,220 Oh, come on. It's going to be fun. 41 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,480 I got arrangements of rare orchids for the table center pieces. 42 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,900 I got kind of many keys for the appetizer course. 43 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,100 And an open bar. 44 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,680 We're there. 45 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:42,820 Yeah. 46 00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:45,660 So... Sandler, just one quest remains. 47 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,600 What do you like for the bachelor party? 48 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,400 Blonde? 49 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,520 Brunette? 50 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:54,280 Redhead? 51 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,080 Bald? Joseph! 52 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,160 Not in front of the U2J Iceway? 53 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,480 I don't know, Joe. Don't you even think about it. You think a bachelor party is 54 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,480 all fun and games, huh? 55 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:08,740 Well, who's having fun when Sandler comes home on our honeymoon with grabs? 56 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,050 Yeah, besides, bachelor parties are stupid. 57 00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:13,310 I don't want one of those. 58 00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:15,470 You mean that true? 59 00:03:16,690 --> 00:03:17,690 Of course. 60 00:03:17,810 --> 00:03:19,390 Baby, that means so much to me. 61 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:29,910 So, Russ, what's the matter? Are you excited? 62 00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:34,230 Yeah, great. Just a reminder of a failed marriage to a lesbian. 63 00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:35,670 That's exactly what I need. 64 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:37,470 Speaking of that... 65 00:03:37,990 --> 00:03:39,670 Definitely don't look behind you right now. 66 00:03:45,070 --> 00:03:46,330 Oh, come on. 67 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:48,910 God, I know couples are happy. 68 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:51,950 Well, I think true. It's a beautiful thing. 69 00:03:52,210 --> 00:03:53,210 Right, Santa? 70 00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:56,590 Santa, are you listening to me? Huh? Yeah. 71 00:03:56,850 --> 00:03:58,470 Yeah, right, yeah. Well, then what did I say? 72 00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:01,030 Um, oh, hey. 73 00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:04,630 Remember that thing that I wanted to show you back at the apartment? 74 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:05,890 No, not really. 75 00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:06,950 Yeah, that thing. 76 00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:08,630 Sorry guys. 77 00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:09,110 What 78 00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:16,670 is 79 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:17,670 it? 80 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:18,690 Look at this. 81 00:04:21,910 --> 00:04:24,150 Whoa, where'd you get the tent spike? 82 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,330 Oh, I guess you're just so hot I can't control myself. 83 00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:27,930 You wanna have premaritals? 84 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:31,250 Oh boy, you really know how to make a girl moist. 85 00:05:48,940 --> 00:05:50,060 Like that, yeah. 86 00:05:59,180 --> 00:05:59,820 Like 87 00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:16,420 that. 88 00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:19,890 Oh, God. 89 00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:22,310 Oh, God, yeah. 90 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,050 oh oh 91 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,320 Yeah. 92 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,300 I will get some more. 93 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,240 oh oh 94 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:43,580 oh 95 00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,430 Ooh. 96 00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:45,910 Oh. 97 00:18:56,110 --> 00:18:57,110 Thank you. 98 00:26:04,590 --> 00:26:05,590 Cheer up, Ruff. 99 00:26:06,050 --> 00:26:07,730 There's other vaginas in the sea. 100 00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:13,190 You and Rochelle would be perfect together. 101 00:26:14,150 --> 00:26:18,610 Yeah, too bad he jizzes in his pants every time she talks to him. No, I 102 00:26:18,630 --> 00:26:20,470 Aw, that's so romantic. 103 00:26:21,310 --> 00:26:22,310 So romantic. 104 00:26:22,530 --> 00:26:24,070 You should see what happens if you spend on underwear. 105 00:26:24,770 --> 00:26:27,950 Oh, oh, here she comes now. Be cool. 106 00:26:28,330 --> 00:26:29,330 Cool? 107 00:26:30,110 --> 00:26:31,890 Hey, guys, did you do anything tonight? 108 00:26:32,930 --> 00:26:33,930 Duh. 109 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,360 Tonight's the night of the big party. Uh, 110 00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:38,580 what big party? 111 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:39,960 Yeah, what big party? 112 00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:45,760 Oh! Um, I get confused. I was talking about my AA meeting. 113 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,260 I didn't know you had a drinking problem feast. 114 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:50,560 Oh, yeah, me? 115 00:26:50,940 --> 00:26:52,060 Big drunk. 116 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,240 Huge. And a nympho, too. 117 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,000 Total slut. 118 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,500 Totally. Wait, what? 119 00:26:59,380 --> 00:27:02,400 Well, I'm actually part of a group that, uh... 120 00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:04,740 I could probably help you out with that problem of yours. 121 00:27:05,180 --> 00:27:07,900 Joe, are you a recovering sex addict? 122 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,440 Yeah. 123 00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:12,720 We hold meetings in my bedroom every night at 6 o 'clock. 124 00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:15,040 I know I'll see you there. What? 125 00:27:15,940 --> 00:27:16,940 You're an idiot. 126 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:18,560 Oh, yeah? 127 00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:21,300 Hey, Rochelle, ask Russ how his coffee is. 128 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,300 Okay. Russ, how's your coffee? 129 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,540 Oh, it's good. 130 00:27:32,430 --> 00:27:34,730 So Phoebe, you wanna go bang each other? 131 00:27:35,930 --> 00:27:36,930 Okay. 132 00:27:37,910 --> 00:27:38,910 Hey, wait. 133 00:27:39,170 --> 00:27:41,130 What's all this about some big party? 134 00:27:42,210 --> 00:27:46,130 Nothing. If you don't tell me, then I'm gonna tell Monica about the time you 135 00:27:46,130 --> 00:27:48,270 accidentally dropped toenail clippings in her cereal. 136 00:27:48,490 --> 00:27:49,490 Okay, okay. 137 00:27:53,190 --> 00:27:55,530 We're throwing a bachelorette party for Monica. 138 00:27:56,890 --> 00:27:58,450 Promise you won't tell Sandler. 139 00:27:58,810 --> 00:27:59,810 What? 140 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,920 I thought Monica said that Sandler couldn't have a bachelor party. 141 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,060 What's the big deal? 142 00:28:06,740 --> 00:28:10,820 She needs one last fling before she willingly locks herself in the shackles 143 00:28:10,820 --> 00:28:16,600 marriage. What a hypocrite. Hey, I don't think this is cool either, but she 144 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,380 didn't talk about her weight. That's just mean. 145 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,860 She's having a party. We're going to have one too. 146 00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:22,100 Yeah. 147 00:28:22,220 --> 00:28:23,220 I'll tell. 148 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,780 If you tell them, we'll tell her that you told us about it. Yeah. 149 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:28,340 Then I'll tell. 150 00:28:29,100 --> 00:28:30,100 Tell. 151 00:28:33,550 --> 00:28:34,550 Well played, sir. 152 00:28:34,950 --> 00:28:35,950 Well played. 153 00:28:36,070 --> 00:28:39,210 Yeah, party's back on. Don't worry about the planning, Russ. 154 00:28:39,490 --> 00:28:40,490 That's my department. 155 00:28:40,770 --> 00:28:42,150 So what'd you have in mind for it? 156 00:28:42,370 --> 00:28:45,950 Well, first, I'm gonna call up Monica's mom. She is hot. 157 00:28:46,990 --> 00:28:48,030 That's my mom. 158 00:28:48,550 --> 00:28:49,550 Oh, yeah. 159 00:28:50,450 --> 00:28:53,070 So, that's a definite no, then? 160 00:28:54,530 --> 00:28:55,690 All right, all right. 161 00:28:56,910 --> 00:28:58,330 Planning a party's hard work. 162 00:28:59,610 --> 00:29:00,890 So, uh, freebie. 163 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,260 Do you have time to go fuck me before your little AA meeting? 164 00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:09,040 I don't think I can fit you in. Yeah? 165 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,200 You're just going to leave me here? 166 00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:13,700 Okay. Okay. 167 00:29:27,260 --> 00:29:28,260 I'm nervous. 168 00:29:28,380 --> 00:29:30,200 It's been a long time since I've done this. 169 00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:31,500 Hey. 170 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:32,960 Don't worry. 171 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,500 You remember what goes where. 172 00:30:12,270 --> 00:30:13,270 How you doing? 173 00:30:44,910 --> 00:30:46,630 Jones, you've got to help me. 174 00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:49,510 I know, 175 00:30:50,710 --> 00:30:51,890 only me, only me. 176 00:30:52,650 --> 00:30:53,650 How'd you miss? 177 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:54,810 I don't know. 178 00:30:55,490 --> 00:30:56,750 What the fuck? 179 00:30:57,550 --> 00:30:59,370 You can figure it out. 180 00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:20,380 See what's in here? 181 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:29,040 I feel alright. 182 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:30,320 Why'd you learn that? 183 00:32:31,940 --> 00:32:33,020 You don't want me to practice? 184 00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:46,260 Now you can get your belt on. 185 00:35:58,640 --> 00:35:59,960 Oh, my God. 186 00:36:00,980 --> 00:36:02,340 I don't want to do that. 187 00:36:36,010 --> 00:36:37,010 Mmm. 188 00:38:42,890 --> 00:38:43,890 Mwah! 189 00:39:12,430 --> 00:39:13,430 Hmm. 190 00:54:59,940 --> 00:55:02,980 Did you and Joe just... Ugh! 191 00:55:04,180 --> 00:55:07,260 I only did it to make him forget about the bachelorette party I accidentally 192 00:55:07,260 --> 00:55:08,580 told him we were throwing for Monica. 193 00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:10,160 For what? 194 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:11,340 Oh, God. 195 00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:13,820 Why can't I just keep my mouth shut? 196 00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:19,580 Or your legs, for that matter. 197 00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:24,718 Hey, freeze. 198 00:55:24,720 --> 00:55:25,960 Check out what I found today. 199 00:55:31,020 --> 00:55:32,720 I was a kind of weirdo. It's your dildo helmet. 200 00:55:33,720 --> 00:55:34,720 Give me that. 201 00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,340 What's all this about a bachelorette party? 202 00:55:38,340 --> 00:55:39,259 Sorry, buddy. 203 00:55:39,260 --> 00:55:42,200 Your fiance, he's going to bang a stripper. Oh, great. 204 00:55:42,420 --> 00:55:44,960 So she gets to have all the fun while I've got to worry about flower 205 00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:46,740 arrangements and caterers? It ain't right. 206 00:55:47,100 --> 00:55:48,140 Oh, well. 207 00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:52,080 We're going to throw the craziest bachelorette party this place has ever 208 00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:53,080 know just who to call. 209 00:56:19,100 --> 00:56:20,100 Relax, Monica. 210 00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:21,200 The apartment's clean. 211 00:56:21,900 --> 00:56:24,800 We have a guest coming over. I don't want him to think we're slobs. 212 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,040 Monica, he's a stripper. 213 00:56:28,240 --> 00:56:29,178 I know. 214 00:56:29,180 --> 00:56:30,180 You're right. 215 00:56:30,300 --> 00:56:31,300 I'm just nervous. 216 00:56:31,380 --> 00:56:32,820 What if Sam finds out? 217 00:56:33,060 --> 00:56:38,100 He's not going to find out. Besides, what is so wrong with having one last 218 00:56:38,100 --> 00:56:40,620 of sexy fun while you're still single? 219 00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:42,380 Hey, I know how to have fun, okay? 220 00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:44,800 Do you think we made enough fun? 221 00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:59,780 And the apartment across the way is... Oh my God, he's rubbing grease all over 222 00:56:59,780 --> 00:57:03,040 himself. What's wrong with you? Why are you watching him? 223 00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:07,560 Oh my God. 224 00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:27,320 From the looks of it. 225 00:57:27,540 --> 00:57:28,540 What do you mean? 226 00:57:30,100 --> 00:57:32,920 Please. You've still got cum in your hair. 227 00:57:33,460 --> 00:57:34,720 What were you just doing? 228 00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:36,280 By that she means who? 229 00:57:36,580 --> 00:57:37,580 What were you just doing? 230 00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:38,638 No one. 231 00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:39,680 I mean nothing. 232 00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:41,480 Freebie. 233 00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:44,820 Okay, okay. 234 00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:46,700 I can't take anymore. 235 00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,940 I accidentally told Joe about the party. 236 00:57:50,220 --> 00:57:52,120 Now the guys are throwing one too. 237 00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:53,360 Don't hurt me. 238 00:57:53,460 --> 00:57:54,500 Freebie, how could you? 239 00:58:11,779 --> 00:58:12,779 Carol, 240 00:58:20,500 --> 00:58:21,720 why'd you have to leave me? 241 00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,740 God, why'd you have to leave me? 242 00:58:25,260 --> 00:58:26,260 Carol? 243 00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,300 I'm only here all the time. 244 00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:38,080 What are you doing here? 245 00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:45,340 Well, me and Sandra, we were having some seafood, and we wanted to stop and grab 246 00:58:45,340 --> 00:58:49,360 a cup of red bush tea and some muffins before the Melissa Etheridge concert. 247 00:58:49,780 --> 00:58:52,460 Wow. How did I not know you were gay? 248 00:58:52,740 --> 00:58:55,880 What? I said, you look good. How have you been? 249 00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:58,400 Well, truthfully... 250 00:58:59,420 --> 00:59:04,800 Yeah? I've been thinking a lot. And we were married for three years. 251 00:59:05,220 --> 00:59:06,220 I remember. 252 00:59:06,980 --> 00:59:11,280 And we never once had a threesome. 253 00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:12,880 Didn't we? 254 00:59:14,540 --> 00:59:19,720 Actually, we didn't, did we? And don't get me wrong, I'm totally gay now. 255 00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,440 Believe me, she is. 256 00:59:22,820 --> 00:59:25,640 But I always wondered what it would be like. 257 00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:36,680 Oh, this is really awkward. 258 00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:40,120 Hi, I'm Russ. 259 01:01:12,110 --> 01:01:13,110 Thank you. 260 01:02:24,580 --> 01:02:27,380 Oh, God. 261 01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:51,120 Do you want to walk around a bit? 262 01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:53,920 Stand up. 263 01:03:22,589 --> 01:03:23,630 Oh, yeah, that's what she said. 264 01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:57,720 But... 265 01:07:10,730 --> 01:07:11,730 you 266 01:08:04,109 --> 01:08:05,430 Oh yeah. 267 01:08:41,710 --> 01:08:42,750 You want to fuck me? 268 01:08:44,010 --> 01:08:46,250 Yeah, you want to fuck me? There you go. Fuck this pussy. 269 01:08:46,710 --> 01:08:47,710 Oh, yeah. 270 01:08:47,830 --> 01:08:49,450 Harder. Oh, fuck yeah. 17276